11:59PM PST is in three and a half hours.
11:59PM PST is in three and a half hours.
so... You? Where are You?
the voting usually starts automatically
with no input from me
Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
Everyone's entries so far:
The Cinderboundes - Qliphoth/Cinder Angels by You
Diane Kelley - Angel Conversion (Jewel) by LeadDemon
Eli Edeleanu - Nephilim Descent by ylas
Celia Custard - Guardian Angel by Bloble
Andrei Bóris - “Wings of Earth” by Criarino
Simon Benedictus - “Angelic Evocation” by Balthizar
Izaket Varaev - Malak Al-Mawt by ScarletDyedShadow
- - - Updated - - -
Guess it's voting time. Anyway, here are my votes:
3 Pts - Diane Kelley by LeadDemon
2 Pts - Celia Custard by Bloble
1 Pt - Izaket Varaev by ScarletDyedShadow
Honorable Mentions:
Cinderboundes, Eli Edelanu, Simon Benedictus
Last edited by SleepMode; March 25th, 2018 at 09:46 PM.
The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
Coffee would be nice, though.
[Collection of my Servant Sheets]
Now Revamped!
3 points: Izaket Varaev.
2 points: Celia Custard.
1 point: Eli Edeleanu.
Feedback possibly pending. For now I just want to get this out.
3 points: Izaket
I thought that this one was very well executed (pun unintended). A compelling backstory and a very Nasu-ish character with a specialized set of abilities, these all add up to my unquestionable #1 choice.
2points: Cinderboundes
I actually didn't think I was going to like this one very much from my initial read through at the beginning of the month due to how blatant it was about lifting material from Dark Souls (but seeing how often Nasu lifts from DS, it seems only fitting). But as I kept reading it over and over, it really started to grow on me. I particularly like the use of the Qliphoth as their basis for magecraft, and I enjoyed how well they were integrated into such a specific part of the Case Files lore.
1 point: Eli
This one was a great concept. I think that the idea could have been taken just a little bit further, but that's just my opinion.
Honorable mention: Celia
This one gave me a good hearty chuckle. Good work!
Nasuverse in a Nutshell
3 pts: TheAshen OneCinderboudes
I just love these Dark Souls references.
2 pts: Celia Custard
It's just really well made; the effort and detail put into this is commendable. But mostly it's because of that Rance FC.
1 pt: Izaket Varaev
She's a really good character, and the usage of Islamic Eschatology is well executed, if, personally, a bit questionable. Though, I'm more interested as to why she prefers silat as her main martial art.
Last edited by 34; March 26th, 2018 at 06:02 AM.
You wanna know the sad cold honest truth? It was 5 AM and Non Magecraft Abilities was the last thing I filled out so I just looked up lethal martial arts and called it a day orz
I don't even remember why I made her into Silat specifically.
Once the contest is over I'll edit it some revisions.
A cautionary reminder not to last minute your sheets.
You'll be surprised how inspired one gets once the deadline nears.
The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
Coffee would be nice, though.
[Collection of my Servant Sheets]
Now Revamped!
3 - The Cinderboundes
2 - Celia Custard
1 - Izaket
Honestly there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said.
Quest of Fate
Apocrypha Universe Fate Quest Project
---
Beast's Lair Discord Server For Fate Quests
Hermes Servant Collection Master Post
3 points - Diane Kelly
2 points - Celia Custard
1 point - Simon Bendictus
----------------
Feedback
The Cinderbounde:
I probably should have added something about how and why their circuits became so highly insulated.
I like to believe the nail I hit was how angels are now an ingredient in modern magecraft and the in the same modernistic world view, at the same time following the rules of equivalent exchange, the Cinderbounde consume the mystery of other magi to protect and preserve the Ashbourne mystery.
Also I really liked the pun/relationship between the ash born and the cinder bound.
Diane Kelly:
I picked this as my top because it goes beyond clever. I've had it in my head to eventually make a Toshaka would stored concepts inside jewels.
And this goes one step even further than that, storing angels in jewels, both these things are containers for power and then combining them is too perfect. And then tying that to a historical person. Everything fits together extremely well, so really good job."As an exception, I can store my magical energy in other objects.
No, not only my magical energy, but I can also store other's magical energy. And although it'll be difficult, I can store things other than magical energy as well."
Eli Edeleanu:
I have no idea who the magus who is chasing laplace's demon is. The only one I can think of Zepia.
I think the weakness about this entry is the disparity of who he is and his stats and then his abilities.
Firstly, he doesn't have circuits he has regression.
Celia Custard:Q: What do the Quality/Quantity/Composition of Regression to the Age of Gods mean in Beowulf's profile? Do Ploys, Arcueid, and Heroic Spirits have such designations? And what would their number be?
A: Regression to the Age of Gods represents the extend at which they are capable of reproducing the Mysteries that existed on Earth before True Magic. Consider it to be like that, their own style of Magical Circuits. Quality represents "how distant from what humans are capable of" their pure Mysteries are. Quantity represents power. The higher the quantity, the greater the degree of influence over the surrounding environment. Since Beowulf only has a quantity of C, he can only display his power to an individual, or over a village.
Composition represents the era of the "Mystery". In terms of magecraft, it would be like Rune, Kabbalah, Black Magic and such.
Ploys are not of Age of Gods, so they cannot be assigned a number in Regression to the Age of Gods.
For Arcueid... Princess Arcueid should qualify. "Quality: B Quantity: A++ Composition: Before Common Era, pseudo-deified natural phenomenon"
I liked how Eros was equated with Cherubim because well, that's basically a historical fact and how that was included. I don't know much about Rance other than the general stuff but its pretty funny how he's basically a Cherbim. The idea of taking the Guardian Angel as familiar/Guardian Spirit is pretty novel and fits because in both names it's a guardian. However, I don't think that the angel would be a Divine Spirit, or rather it could probably ascend into a pseudo-Divine Spirit if the aspect of Eros was magnified using some insane ritual and catalysts. It was probably a Holy Spirit that was degraded into a Guardian Spirit because it became a Guardian, just my opinion.
Andrei Bóris:
Good idea, not sure about the execution. I think you're the only one to actually do the re-classification of a supernatural being using the Arabian tale of the merchant and the jinn. The issue you never explain this reclassification and why it's fitting. For example in Bloble's sheet he mentioned the syncretic nature of Eros and Cherubs. How are Djinn and angels related.
Furthermore you give him curses from all over the world with little to no explanation for them.
Your sheet is too scattered.
Simon Benedictius:
I think I actually prefer this without having any spells detailed. The main idea is through his faith and Christianity accidently has become his own magical foundation. The intermediate of that foundation are these angels, vessels of power for that foundation.
Great idea
Izaket Varaev:
I know a lot other people like it and it's a good sheet. I think the reason why I didn't vote for it is because reading the bio and the family history and the feather in the magic crests lead me to believe she would embody her magecraft, rather than someone who just uses spells. You describe her as an automaton and angel of death but when you look at her magecraft, its all about her using spells.
I did like the juxtaposition of the founder's ideals and what the family became and how they decided to reach the Root.
It's kind of similar to Orphan's plan in ff13 or how the Three Families think they can get to Akasha.
Last edited by You; March 28th, 2018 at 03:07 PM.
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
Thank you very much for the feedback You.
You're definitely right on that point, I think.
The magecraft, which is one of the biggest /points/ of the contest, I comparatively skimped out on. It could definitely be reworked to flow better and fit better with her character and biography, which was what I ultimately put the most work into.
I'll definitely be editing it once the contest has concluded based on your critique.
As for my own votes.
3 points - Diana Kelley
Honestly my favorite sheet in the contest. A super cute FC (which I assure you did not factor into my decision), a strong character that's conveyed not through walls of text but a few deft touches here and there, and easily one of the best and well researched applications of magecraft in here. The temptation to give a magus cool combat powers is virtually always existent, but your restraint in putting together her magecraft, and how creative her path to the Root is, and just how well it all flows together, makes it easily my fave sheet in the contest.
2 points - Celia Custard
Another creative application of magecraft paired with fun personality told conveyed through few words. The format is interesting and it's not just a sheet and a character but an interesting story in its own right.
1 point - Cinderbounde
The most technically perfect and well put together application of magecraft in the contest in my opinion, tied together extremely well with the lore presented in Case Files. Only reason I didn't give based Dark Souls more points is the lack of any particular character, which is far from a problem in a make-a-magus contest but runs contrary to my preference.
Thanks for the feedback!
Oh shit I was going to add something about it at the time but forgot this detail.
It was on purpose, I wanted to make impossible to discover the details about his life aside what was said. His knowledge from various places is one of the motives why even the russian army couldn't track back his origins (like his homeland).
Now that I think about it... there was a few things I could have added... It's too late for the contest, but I will do some changes later
Outside a calm old man
But inside...
"I will pulverize your bones, BWAHAHAHAHA!"
3. The Cinderboundes - Qliphoth/Cinder Angels by You
2. Diane Kelley - Angel Conversion (Jewel) by LeadDemon
1. Eli Edeleanu - Nephilim Descent by ylas
2 moar days get your votes in
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
3 points to Diane Kelley - LeadDemon, the history of the Kellys and path towards to the root that they're following are well done, and gives off a solid encapsulation of the nasuverse theme of each generation contributing and entrusting their path to the next generation.
2 points to The Cinderboundes - You, Darksouls references are lost on me but it's nice to see the Qliphoth being worked in with Case Files.
1 point to Celia Custard - Bloble, fun set of characters and magecraft that would definitely fit in a romcom.
last day for votes
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
Since like the make-a-servant contest if there's a tie both parties will choose a prompt they can agree on or one can let the other one have the prompt.Well thank you for all the votes. Time to count up the votes.
It's April Fools so I was going to pull something but I decided against it.
- - - Updated - - -
Third Place is
Spoiler:
getting 9 points.
Second is
with 13 pointsSpoiler:
And finally tied first is (I'm trying something new for the drumroll)
Drumroll
Spoiler:
with 14 points
In this case I'm going to to let LeadDemon have the pick.
Congrats all, and nicely done. We may have had few but they were all very novel
Until then
go make a Servant or something
Next month we're going to make make-a-magus great again
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
Thanks for the votes, all, and thanks to Express for the topic, as well as congrats to You. It was fun doing the research on this, as well as getting to see the sheets everyone else posted. I'll try and think of something half-decent for the next topic.
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