Assassin - Jean-Henri Fabre + Mothman by Hakuro: The first sheet, always tricky, but in this case well-done. I kind of would have liked to see a little more of the Cryptid stuff explored but I still think this is a very solid effort and a pretty fun sheet.
Saber - N.M.P™ by Zork Knight: Hilarious but also genuinely good and interesting conceptually. An absolute blast to read and the quotes are just perfect. A very special thanks to Mr. Siegfried.
Assassin - La Llorona + German by Express: The fusion is a little disjointed but the core concepts of the sheet are all pretty good if you ask me. The skills in particular are well-defined and interesting.
Assassin - Corpo-Seco by pinetree: Pretty weak, not that that's necessarily bad. Still, his personality is kind of one note and he doesn't really come across as all that threatening, which kind of makes him seem forgettable.
Archer - The Appleshooters™ by Omida: You (user) already wrote an analysis of this, which is pretty excellent. That will become a minor theme of this review session. Imo, you combined all the Appleshooters together, but this sheet kind of just feels like any generic one of them rather than a fusion of all of them. As You said, you need to show more of what the nature of the trope and demonstrate what being an "Appleshooter" means.
Assassin - Attila the Hun + The Martian by TresserT: Not bad but it does feel a little too similar to just normal Altera, as others have said. I would have liked to see more complexities in the Phantom combination and also more weirdness. Having the Martian as a Phantom but only using it to this degree feels like a bit of a waste imo.
Berserker - Robert Johnson + 27 Club™ by JetKinen: Really crazy premise which just built and built on itself. I would have liked to see a little more of the 27 club as they kind of get sidelined a little, but the reality marble at the end is really well-thought out imo and doesn't feel tacked on, unusual for RMs.
Caster - Johnny + Guiseppe Tartini by Funderfullness: Theme and character choices are excellent but I would have liked to see more discussion/exploration of the similarities/contrast between the two in their interactions with the devil. And yeah, and JetKinen said, there's a small disconnect in the first NP where he's a binder of demons and yet the story goes that he is unable to achieve the devil's perfection.
Rider - H.G. Wells + John Titor by Sunny: As a character I love it but as others have said the actual sheet has some conceptual problems, Titor NP especially. I also kind of feel like the Wells Time Travel and Titor Time Travel should connect more naturally? I do think the skills mostly worked for me (though more Titor influence would be nice). On a general note, I think you are excellent at expressing really unique and detailed character concepts briefly but with an almost poetic flair that just emanates with style. Some of the lines you wrote in Robbespierre, this one, and Damocles were genuinely excellent, with the little exploration of Damocles's character from the last contest in his personality section being my personal favorite.
Assassin - Tallemaja + Arsene Lupin by BearHero: A little undetailed and the NP's wording is a little confusing.
Archer - Anna Ioannovna+ The Snow Queen by Alexcoene: Not bad but like others have said a little lacking in flair to help it stand out amongst all the others.
Assassin - Alcatraz™ by Aridwolverine: A popular one so I don't have as much to say. Nonetheless, it's super well done. The faceclaim, skills, personality, etc all connect to make the character come to life. I don't think this is my absolute favorite sheet in the contest, but it's really damned close. Pretty much everything is done well. Moreover, even though it isn't my absolute favorite, I feel this sheet seems to encapsulate everything that could be done with this character, more than pretty much any other sheet in the contest. I don't really write all that many sheets, but I do sometimes think about future ideas. Every once in awhile, I come across a sheet that is so well done and so
complete in its creation that I erase any future plans I might have had, simply because I don't think I could make any meaningful difference or improvement in my own version. I didn't have any concrete plans for an idea like this, but this still hits that mark, so in that I salute you.
Assassin - Kunti + Kuntilanak by ThirtyFour34: Unfortunately a pair of characters I'm completely unfamiliar with, which does always make it harder to judge properly. As a sheet, though, it does seem pretty well made. The first NP seems a little op and the skills are a bit overkill.
Rider - Mary Anning + Loch Ness by asterism42: Good FC and a pretty entertaining character. A little silly but not at all in a bad way. The First NP is also super interesting, almost moreso than the Nessie stuff.
Caster - Abdul Alhazred by Arkanian: The concept is kind of neat but it doesn't really stand out all that much. The sheet kind of just is, it doesn't really build and the character is a little one note. I do like the justification for his existence in the first place tho.
Assassin - Arsene Lupin™ by Bird of Hermes: I already commented on this one. It's good but I think the blend between phantoms was off since it's mostly Lupin which is kinda boring. You added a few NPs but they feel a little thrown in imo.
Archer - Natty Bummpo + Awi Usdi by SSW: Holy crap Twain's thing at the end of your author's comments is absolute gold. As for the sheet itself, it's pretty good but it doesn't really stand out all that much. The two phantoms play off each other reasonably well but the fusion doesn't really make them stand out.
Saver - Cthulhu + Vairocana by Aridwolverine: A crazy combination I probably never in a million years would have thought up. I think because of its weirdness, though, it needed to be explored more than it was; you have the little blurb at the end but it doesn't really reach the appropriate/necessary levels of wrongness in its vibe. Cthulhu Buddha almost feels too much like a normal Servant.
Assassin - The Abductor by kami-en: Kind of the opposite problem. I like that it's just a phantom with no other shenanigans, but this also almost doesn't really feel like a Servant sheet to me. It kind of feels more like something from the Modern Fiction thread or something, I think because the legend feels relatively modern and doesn't really have the mystique of a true Servant to me. Then again, it's just a phantom so it kind of shouldn't and also I think that my vibe may be more of a subjective thing so idk
Caster - The Little Match Girl + Fire-Fairy by Express: This is going to become a running theme, but You is a good bit more eloquent than I am and covered most of what I have to say. A few elements felt kind of disconnected from everything else (first personal skill and 2nd np in particular). On one hand, the personality section is pretty short but on the other we also get a sense of the character's...character over the course of the sheet so idk
Berserker - Sasaki Kojiro by zikari8: Hm. I can't really fault the sheet, it's genuinely well done, but the concept doesn't really work for me. Everybody loves Sasaki, but I feel like he's not really that interesting here. Granted, the vengeance-fueled one-track mind Berserker was kind of what you were going for, but I'm not entirely happy with the execution and think you could have done a little more. The Noble Phantasm fits your presentation of the character but I'm also not crazy about it.
Caster - Maximillien Robespierre + Dr. Moreau by Sunny: I really really like this one. A wild idea for a combination, but I think you pulled it together well. I think somebody commented that they didn't like the "dominant phantom switching" but I think that worked well for me as a different kind of phantom partnership. I think you connected the personalities well and the quotes you chose are absolutely perfect. It has all the same flair as Wells but I think the sheet itself is a little stronger.
Avenger - El Cid by NMR-3: I think everything I have to say about this one has already been covered by Sunny and a few others. Interesting concept but you don't do as much with it as you could.
Caster - Shiro Ishii + Pestilence by Saron: I'm not really feeling it. It's quite edgy and you don't go all that much beyond the initial presentation of the character.
Caster - Queen of Sheba + Pharaoh's Daughter by Spartacus: This is a great one, actually. I think I missed it the first time around so I'm glad I went back to look through and review everything
even though it is taking absolutely fucking forever. No, but seriously, this is a pretty well-thought out and interesting sheet that also pretty fun to read, which is always nice.
Saber - Yagyuu Jubei Mitsuyoshi + Juuchi Yosamu by Bird of Hermes: I like this one, actually. He's edgy, arrogant and kind of immature, but I actually think it works pretty well. I think you could have done a tiny bit more with some of the skills to make it pop. I also would have liked to see a little more interaction between the phantoms. You had some, but more would have been nice imo.
Lancer - Cowardly Lion + Androcles Lion by RoydGolden: I think Hermes's commentary here is pretty on the mark. As a sheet it's not bad but there's a lot more that it could be.
Berserker - Taira no Kiyomori + Stingy Jack by Toncas: The character is larger than life in a good way, but the sheet itself doesn't quite live up to it. His personality section and the little interlude at the start are both very well written but the actual mechanical elements of the sheet are a little overly simple, I think.
Caster - Lamia by ItsaRandomUsername: I like this one. The direction you take the character and especially the NP are all pretty great imo. As Royd said, "At first she just seemed like the usual "sympathetic monster" Servant, but it was her
Romantic's Delusion Skill that really sold me on the concept."
Archer - Xiao He + Zhang Fude + Seven Sages + Fu Bo by SleepMode: Kind of cheating with this one, but I don't really have much to see. I generally agree with everything You and Hermes said. Some of the stuff here is fantastic, but I'm not entirely happy with the way it's all tied together.
Archer - Jack Fiddler + Gaasyendietha by Funderfullness: Weirdly, I think this one kind of suffers in comparison to your original Jack Fiddler sheet. It feels like we're losing a bit of each character to make this fusion happen when the fusion should be adding to both.
Caster - Ludwing van Beethoven by Skull: Rip super scary urban legends sheet
. This one is pretty silly and it seems pretty implausible that it would ever be summoned but it's still pretty fun, kind of like the Saber Isaac Newton from last contest.
Ruler - The Happy Prince + The Bluebird of Happiness by sutaa: My favorite of your sheets in this contest. The character is unique but super likeable. From a narrative perspective, I'm not entirely sold on the Noble Phantasm as the permanent and unquestionably successful alteration of one's fate seems a little strong even if it comes at the cost of the character's life. From a thematic perspective, however, it's great and I like the line "This is the gift of a
future, and no gift more precious could there ever be.
"
Assassin - Sebastian Moran + Tinderbox Soldier by bylackbre: Its pretty good, but I would have liked to see explore the personalities of the two characters explored more and
especially the relationship between the two of them as Phantoms explored more.
Caster - Four-in-One by sutaa: Clearly a lot went into this sheet, but it doesn't really work for me on a conceptual level. The combination here is one of the more bizarre and out there ones in the whole contest, and I feel it needed a little more justification and explanation than you gave it. I see what you were going for but I'm not really feeling it.
Rider - Dick Turpin + Black Dog by Toncas: You's review is pretty spot on here. Your work developing the personalities of the characters is pretty evident, but I think you could have drawn more out of the pairing, for the reasons You elaborates.
Rider - Jesse James + The James-Younger Gang by bylackbre: When I think Wild West, Jesse James is one of the first names that comes to my mind, so I was pretty hyped for this sheet. To be honest, though, I'm a little...disappointed? In terms of structure, it's fine and it doesn't really have any conceptual problems, but it doesn't really have anything standout. To me, having an outlaw like Jesse James is an opportunity to go over-the-top with your character, but this feels a little uninspired. The Noble Phantasms (
especially the first) feel pretty generic, and I would have liked to see a custom skill or two. More detail in terms of his personality might have also helped.
? - Seven School Mysteries by zikari8: This is a really interesting concept and you tied together very well. It matches the tone of some of the less-serious Fate pretty well. The little snippets of dialogue feel pretty great, as well. Honestly, this feels less like a Servant than a story concept or a mini-fanfic.
Originally Posted by Toncas
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