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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #21
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Started working on a different Servant today then I initially was planning on...

    First envisioned this guy as a Rider or Lancer, but I could maybe fit him into the Saber Class with a little finagling. It'd certainly be fun to enter into an actual contest, in any case.

  2. #22
    Pale Pink Memories Sunny's Avatar
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    Ehhh. I'm shy posting up mine first, but cooked this one up and I'll be a bit silly.

    Class:
    Saber
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    True Name: Damocles
    Place of Origin: Greece




    "Fuhahaha....! You hit the jackpot! Let's hit it big together.
    No looking back or up, baby! Only forwards! Alright...!? Fuhahahaha...!"

    Parameters:

    Strength: C
    Endurance: D
    Agility: B
    Mana: C
    Luck: A
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Height: 167 cm
    Weight: 70 kg
    Likes: Gold, wine, fineries
    Dislikes: Kings, intrigue, offers too good to be true
    Talent: Dumb luck
    Natural Enemy: Hassans, Archimedes
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: King, Greek Mythology Male, Riding
    Armament: An ominous coal-tinted blade, heavy straps criss-crossing the handle. A thin thread connects the blade to a shackle on his left wrist.
    Catalyst: A single unbroken horse hair.

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance
    Rank: C
    Cancels spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

    Riding
    Rank: C
    The ability to ride mounts and vehicles. There is no anecdote that he was ever active riding a horse. However, through the benefit of Imperial Privilege, he can adequately ride vehicles and animals with proper training and adjustment.

    Personal Skills:
    Imperial Privilege (False)
    Rank: B
    An ability that, due to the instance of others, forces skills that are essentially impossible to possess to be obtained for a short period of time. This skill derives not from his own insistence, but instead from that of the king who (briefly) abdicated his throne to Saber. In cases when the Rank is А or above, even the "burden to the body" can be acquired. For Saber, the relevant skills include Charisma, Eye for Art, Golden Rule, Riding, Item Creation, Protection from Water, swordsmanship, and others.

    Innocent Monster
    Rank: C
    An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. Saber's appearance has been transformed into that of his idea of a "proper" king, granting him a false equivalent of Imperial Privilege but none of the temperament of a true ruler.

    Paranoia
    Rank: B-
    The ability to sow anxiety and unease in others. A skill properly belonging to the king Dionysius II and inflicted upon Saber, transferred to Saber through their shared association. At this rank, Saber's words can easily instill feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and suspicion in others. However, as this skill was originally used against him, it also renders him prone to the same feelings himself.

    Noble Phantasm:
    Sword of Damocles - Bond of the Treacherous King
    Type: Anti-Unit (Anti-Army)
    Rank: A+
    A blade that properly belongs not to Saber, but to the king to whom he attended, misattributed through repeated misuse of Saber's story over generations.

    Due to the misunderstandings of many people, the image of this sword as a bringer of ruin permeates the weapon, transmuting it into a weapon of great destruction. Similar to Prana Burst, the blade amplifies its weight, striking with concussive force greatly disproportionate to its size, having transformed from a blade meant to kill one man into one hyperbolically leveled against cities and even governments.

    The sword is bound to Saber through a high-tensile wire, as thin as a horse hair. The weapon may be thrown or operated remotely, and can even be controlled at a distance akin to telekinetic control, but like a taut rubber band, it invariably returns to Saber at high speed. A reckless weapon as likely to skewer its user as its target, requiring precise (or merely fortunate) dodges in order to recover the blade after each cast.

    While Saber loathes the use of the wire, the blade is more powerful when out of his hands, growing in weight and impact. As such, against strong foes, Saber has little choice but to risk his life in order to avoid direct combat.

    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    As the famous anecdote goes, Damocles was a courtier of the king of Syracuse, Dionysius II. When he lavished praise on the king's magnificent fortune to rule such a powerful kingdom and lavish court, the king eagerly agreed to switch places with Damocles. Allowed to taste the king's fortune firsthand, he happily accepted, a commoner allowed to immerse himself in comfort and debauchery.

    However, he soon became aware that the king had arranged for a huge sword to hang above the throne, tied to the ceiling with only a single horse hair around the pommel. Unable to enjoy the splendor without fearing for his life, it wasn't long before Damocles abdicated, learning firsthand the fear that a ruler had to live under. Faced with treachery and plotting against his life, Damocles was unable to bear the burden of ruling Syracuse.

    Such was the lesson of the Sword of Damocles - an illustration of the peril that came hand in hand with positions of power. Had that been the end, Saber would never have qualified as a Heroic Spirit, much less Saber - but as the origin of the weapon as Dionysius' became less known and the Sword became a weapon held not just over the head of leaders and men, but countries, magicians, laws, and any number of mispurposed targets, the true nature of the story became less known compared to the simplified saying.

    A sword of forgotten origins and forgotten purpose in the hands of a coward more famous than his liege. In this way, the Saint Graph of a wholly improper Servant was forged.


    Personality:
    Spoiler:
    The embodiment of nouveau riche. Tacky, gaudy, and utterly without taste, Saber loves everything shiny almost as much as he loves flaunting it. Quick to laugh and throw himself head-first into excess and comfort of all kinds, whether it is drink, women, or pillows. However, there's a desperate edge to his laughter that only becomes clear the longer you associate with him.

    Laughing when you can't scream.
    Smiling because you can't curse.
    Enjoying the life of a king because you dare not look up at reality.

    A jovial facade that masks the nasty, base desperation of a cowardly rat still holding too much power in his hands.
    Last edited by Sunny; July 16th, 2017 at 01:29 AM.


    And that's why... This life is for you.

    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments


  3. #23
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    First entry for the contest, whoot whoot!!

    ...And a pretty damn good one at that, if I do say so myself. Have to say, I like your take on this guy way better then my own (unfortunately kind of generic and uninteresting aside from the NP) Damocles Servant. Just a question though; is there any particular reason Protection From Water is amongst his Skills given by Imperial Privilege?

    The others are mostly just generic "kingly" Skills whereas that one stands out in particular, so I'm curious if there's any reason behind it.

  4. #24
    Pale Pink Memories Sunny's Avatar
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    Mm. Partly flavor bait with a mysterious skill, partly because they're skills inherited from Dionsysius, not his own.

    The Renaissance alchemist Michael Maier relates a legend about Dionysius II in his book Atalanta Fugiens (1617), where he was shipwrecked at the Gulf of Corinth, and without his swimming skills he could have never reached the shore.
    A stretch, probably, but then, so is he. ^^;

    Edit: Hm, I haven't seen that one, but I should take a look. I didn't know someone had done it before, though I doubted I was the first to try. You shouldn't be so hard on it!
    Last edited by Sunny; July 16th, 2017 at 02:00 AM.


    And that's why... This life is for you.

    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments


  5. #25
    That's quite excellent!

    If that profile sets the standard, I'd be quite eager to see the entries to this contest.

  6. #26
    吸血鬼 Vampire chem24's Avatar
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    Just a heads-up, but if you wanted to hide your servant's identity, you probably should have boxed his NP too.
    Otherwise it's a great start

    Edit: Thread's been kinda dead for a while, anyone almost finished with their sheets?
    Last edited by chem24; July 17th, 2017 at 01:05 PM.

  7. #27
    Climb The Tower Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    You know what, I was skeptical about this contest but I may give it a shot after all.

  8. #28
    Climb The Tower Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Prologue: Dawn of Emperor

    The swords clashed with sublime splendour . One was divine, glorious and had a shining light that only the pinacle of nobility could possess. It could only be the Ultimate Unbroken Hallow. The other was no certainty however. The more one looked at the blade the harder it was to focus upon it. It was wreathed in shadow. It was... wrong. Beautiful but hideous, full of hope and somehow desolate at the same time. The more the Master of Chaldea looked upon the sword the more uneven he felt, like there was a creature slowly climbing up their back with nothing to stop the beast from sinking its thangs into the neck.

    The clash rang out again, louder and louder. with every collision of the swords. Light and Darkness encroaching further until one final creshendo blinded the mage leaving nothing but destruction. The land was split and set ablaze, ears were filled with the screams of the dying.

    You were starting to get sick of these shared dreams that master and servant had.



    Source: (Bless you Leftovers)

    Class: Saber
    Alternate Classes: Lancer, Ruler
    True Name: Charlemange Alter
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Place of Origin: France (Matter of France and Historical Fact)

    Height/Weight: 178cm/75kg
    Likes: Absolute Order
    Dislikes: Godless Heathens
    Talents: Defending the Faith
    Natural Enemy: Pope Leo III
    Attribute: Man
    Traits:
    Human
    Armament:
    Armour, Sword, Shield

    Parameters:

    Strength: B
    Endurance: A
    Agility: B
    Mana: A+
    Luck: B
    NP: A++

    Class Skills:


    Magic Resistance: A
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a 'Magus Killer'.

    Despite living in the Age of Man, the legends of Saber are interwoven with magic and mystery. Furthermore, his Magic Resistance is bolstered by his zealotry but he is still vulnerable to the sacraments of the church however.

    Riding: B

    A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding. Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.
    Although Saber surely possessed skill in riding beasts in life, there are no famous anecdotes of him being connected to any Phantasmal Beasts.

    Personal Skills:

    Imperial Privilege: B
    An ability that, due to the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained for a short period of time. Due to the skill being below A-rank, skills that are a "Burden to the Body" such as divinity cannot be obtained.
    In the case of Saber, the relevant skills are Swordsmanship, Fine Arts, Magecraft, Presence Detection and others.

    Military Tactics: B
    Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilised. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.

    Saber was a talented tactician with many great victories to his name; his only defeat was due to being betrayed by a paranoid old man who he believed he could trust.

    Revelation: -
    A Skill to "hear the voice of heavens" and take optimum action; a Skill equivalent to Instinct, a sixth sense regarding battles. However, 'Revelation' accommodates all matters related to the achievement of a goal (for instance, choosing the most suitable path while travelling).

    Although not receiving direct word from God Himself, Saber received the advice of the Archangel. As this a skill on the soul, it has been lost due to being corrupted.

    Saint: E

    Indicates being acknowledged as a saint. Although his canonisation was annulled barely 10 years after his death, he was still beatified. After being corrupted the rank has decreased to its lowest value, the only benefit of this skill is to increase the effectiveness of his Tyrant's Charisma skill.

    Tyrant's Charisma: A+

    The forceful will of the powerful who converted many to his side willingly or not. It attracts the righteous that truly believe he is in the right, the weak and cowardly who know that he will harm them worse than his opponents and defeated enemies who have been bent to his will. Vaguely to Charisma of an Evil Genius, he is capable of leading armies and empires and those he has defeated are installed with a Mad Enhancement/Mental Pollution like ability that causes them to become bloodthirsty and utterly devoted to him.

    Noble Phantasms

    Joyuse
    Les Nerf Preux

    Type: Anti-Unit/Anti-Divine
    Rank: B++
    Range: 1
    Max Targets: 1

    Charlemagne's personal sword, of indeterminate origin, but still revered to this day. Supposedly containing the point of the Lance of Longinus, upon which a golden hilt was fastened, and the blade's unparalleled radiance shone to thirty different hues each day. "The Nine Valiants" version. Wherein Charlemagne is compared to King Arthur as the model of chivalry within the tenets of Christianity. In this form, it appears as a gigantic blade with an opulent golden hilt, much like Arthur's Excalibur. Passive in nature, with its effects and attributes not needing its name called out. This sword bypasses magical defences.

    Containing the point of the Lance of Longinus, which drew the blood of Christ - the blade is still tangible and solid. In addition to its original function, Joyeuse deals extra damage to servants with divinity; those with the skill or an equivalent at E-C rank wouldn't activate the first '+' modifier while those with the skill at B or higher engage the second '+'. When facing against a True God however, the damage would be utterly immense. It should be noted that these effects have no effect on beings connected to the Christian Faith, although Saber assailed many cultures - he never harmed his own.

    This is a digression but Joyeuse functions in this way due to corruption and now exists as a "Blackened Holy Sword" rather than a Sword of Prismatic Glory.

    Joyuse
    Thirty Hued Godslayer

    Type: Anti-Fortress/Anti-Divine
    Rank: A+
    Range: 900
    Max Targets: 1000

    In this mode, Joyeuse becomes a legend upon a legend. The initial case disengages to reveal its true form. A shining blade, so radiant that it is only perceived as a glow in Charlemagne's hands. To transition from sealed to released form, Charlemagne must discard the outer casing: the sealed version, Les Neuf Preux. This action happens in two parts. First, he must discard the case, requiring the spoken imperative "Montjoie". Secondly, he must reveal the Noble Phantasm's true name, Joyeuse, to activate the released form.

    Due to containing a tip from the Lance of Loginus, a Pillar of Light that holds the world in place, it can call upon a portion of its power. In this state, the sword barely can be reduced to the state of a Noble Phantasm if not for said fragmentation but can still release light that shines almost to the Ends of the Earth. When activated, it can unleash a pillar of blackened light that can vaporise all the heratics, heathens and False Gods within its path.

    Due to the nature of the Noble Phantasm as a 'Pinnacle Legend', it cannot be re-sealed.

    Premier midi ternel
    Over Heaven

    Type: Anti-Army Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: EX
    Range: 1000
    Max Targets: 1

    The crystallisation of a divine miracle. During the climax of the battle of Roncesvalles Pass, Charlemagne prayed for more time so that he could reach the Paladin Roland. The sunset was indeed delayed but in a surprising manner.

    That occurred was a miracle beyond miracles. Charlemagne was under an effect similar to
    Blue
    The Fifth Magic
    . It was a phenomena connected to time travel; he was displaced from the flow of time but not space and allows him to act through two instances until he had reached the Saracen Army.

    In his "True" State, the effects of this Noble Phantasm what would occur is to allow Charlemagne to halt the flow of time and move freely while it has stopped alongside his comrades but due to being a Noble Phantasm fuelled by a magus, this phenomena could only last a maximum of 10 seconds (for his perspective) even with the most powerful of masters. However due to being put under the effects of All the Worlds Evils, the phenomena is connected only to him and due to his great malevolence is actively combated against by Alaya but it will grow and let him stop time for longer and longer the more he gets used to it. If he were to be fuelled by a Holy Grail, he would be powerful enough to theoretically stop time for long stretches.


    Lore

    Imposing, regal, charismatic. Tales of Charlemagne's conquests are true history - and written alongside them are accounts of the Emperor's disposition. A figure larger than life, tranquil and spiritual, a patron of the arts and education, and graced by God. The model of a chivalry in a knight. At least, that is what he wanted herself to be remembered by. Through dictation to his subjects and more importantly, his chroniclers, Charlemagne created a distinct figure to be revered after his death, the ideal which he held for himself, and perfect in the eyes of the Church which he protected.

    In conquering Aquitaine, removing the Lombards of the Italian peninsula from power, and subjugating the Saxons of Northern Germany, Charlemagne unified most of Western Europe under his efficient rule. In doing so, he also established marches along the borders of her Empire to preclude future attacks from foreign invaders. Those he conquered were made to convert to Christianity. Those who did not were put to the sword. One such occasion resulted in the Massacre of Verden, in which 4,500 pagan Saxons were executed on his orders. By killing those who resisted, he essentially converted northern Germany to Catholicism.

    Honouring past agreements made between his father and the Papacy, he vowed to protect papal lands from invasion. As the foremost power in Europe, he was able to stop the Byzantine Empire from forcing iconoclastic changes onto the Papacy. In a political show, the Pope crowned him Emperor of the Romans to show papal authority and to nullify any authority by which the Byzantine Empire had over subjects of "Rome". Charlemagne felt manipulated by this, but accepted the title anyway for his own purposes.

    He formed the Paladin Order; made up of his closest and most trusted friends as well as the greatest warriors of his time. These legends were timeless and at their peak were even more popular than the tales of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Together they were the word of god to the word, albeit a violent one.

    A mere thirteen years after being crowned Emperor, Charlemagne died of pleurisy and other ailments, leaving behind ambitions he considered unrealised. However unlike the King of Knights he lived a full life and died in his 70's with his domain lasting a thousand years after him.


    Personality

    Upon being corrupted by the curse of Angra Mainyu, he has been warped drastically. He is tyrant but not a villain, not even calling him a dark hero would be accurate. He is the aspect of the conqueror, the crusader.

    In life, he struggled in a war of his heart, to be a human and a man of his people or an emperor chosen by the divine to lead his nation. Although the "true" Charlemagne found a balance and in truth preferred companionship and adventuring over gruelling deeds, in this incarnation he is heartless and a true figure of an "Ideal King" for the sake of his faith. He still has attachments in his heart but they are not to people but ideals. Nations over people. He would trample over everything for the "Empire" he seeks in his mind.

    An Emperor of Blood who will destroy the world the recreate it. This is his wish upon the Holy Grail.


    Notes:

    This guy was someone I've been looking to remake for a while and this little context was the perfect time and source of inspiration to do so. If you're noticing a few certain similarities to another sheet in particular, it's because they're intentional.

    Zork Knight's version of the regular Charlemange was perfect in my opinion to the point where there was no real point in me remaking it. So as usual, I made an Alter to explore a few other potential aspects of the figure. Indeed rather than expanding of my own first version of the guy one and a half years ago I made this one rather as a companion piece to Zork's instead and I highly recommend reading it.

    I dunno if this automatically disqualifies me or something but I thought I should at least post it
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; July 21st, 2017 at 07:29 AM. Reason: Tweaks and nerfs before results

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Source: (I've spent a while looking and found nothing, help please)
    vworp vworp vworp

  10. #30
    Climb The Tower Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leftovers View Post
    The cider has clearly not helped me. Thanks, I'll add it to the thing now.

  11. #31
    What makes a person tick? SleepMode's Avatar
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    ...I think you forgot the Parameters Section.

  12. #32
    Climb The Tower Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    ...I think you forgot the Parameters Section.
    That I did, fixed.

  13. #33
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Charlemagne Alter: Charlemagne was one of your first ever Servants so it's certainly interesting to see him remade. The third NP definitely reminded me a lot of the one from Zork's sheet, but you admitted to taking inspiration so it's fine. Between this guy and your Olivier Servant, I'm getting the impression the Paladins of Charlemagne were big fans of stopping time.

    I can only say that the bold text or whatever you were trying to write for the Fifth Magic in his last NP doesn't seem to have come out properly.

    Out of curiosity, how do you think this guy would interact with my Justinian Alter? Since they both have somewhat similar personalities (being so-called "Perfect" rulers who value their vision of an ideal empire above the actual people in it), and also from what you've outlined it seems like Charlemagne was somewhat of a rival to the Byzantines in life I'm curious as to how they'd get along... Just a thought.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, looking back it appears you forgot to include an Alignment for Charlemagne. It's not a big deal (pretty sure he'd be Lawful Evil), but you could probably stand to add it in...

  14. #34
    Climb The Tower Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Between this guy and your Olivier Servant, I'm getting the impression the Paladins of Charlemagne were big fans of stopping time.
    Ok, I'm not very creative and tend to recycle ideas.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I can only say that the bold text or whatever you were trying to write for the Fifth Magic in his last NP doesn't seem to have come out properly.
    I'll get right to that.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Out of curiosity, how do you think this guy would interact with my Justinian Alter? Since they both have somewhat similar personalities (being so-called "Perfect" rulers who value their vision of an ideal empire above the actual people in it), and also from what you've outlined it seems like Charlemagne was somewhat of a rival to the Byzantines in life I'm curious as to how they'd get along... Just a thought.
    I can only envision their encounter being a mutual case of "I respect you but I must destroy you" due to standing in the way of their respective empires.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Also, looking back it appears you forgot to include an Alignment for Charlemagne. It's not a big deal (pretty sure he'd be Lawful Evil), but you could probably stand to add it in...
    Already fixed.

    It seems that wine and gin improve my content creation while cider hampers it.

  15. #35
    吸血鬼 Vampire chem24's Avatar
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    I'll probably be posting my sheet on the last week.
    All I know is that you guys don't make me feel confident in mine.

  16. #36
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Gah I have a Lancer that could be reworked into a Saber but I feel like it would be half-assed.
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

    I make Servants when I'm bored.

  17. #37
    Dead Apostle Eater Gally's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    please refrain from submitting Cloud Strife.
    I lost already.

  18. #38
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Funderfullness View Post
    Gah I have a Lancer that could be reworked into a Saber but I feel like it would be half-assed.
    I'm doing a quite similar thing with my own upcoming entry, so go right ahead!

  19. #39
    TATARI Heiress ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    What the heck, I'm game. Tossing the proverbial hat into the ring.


    EDIT: Well, we'll see.
    Last edited by ItsaRandomUsername; July 18th, 2017 at 05:09 PM.
    * Dullahan 12/13/16 9:30pm
    there is an important difference between bullying and mindbreak
    * ~Keo 12/13/16 9:30pm
    one makes her cry and in one, she stops crying eventually

    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  20. #40
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    I'm in the same position as chem is. All of these people are senior to me... it makes me wish I had a fishing rod with which to swiftly remove my hat from the ring.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
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