Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

[sutaa]

Help, too many sheets I want to vote for.

[AspiringShoulder]

Let me just say that this was a lot of fun: I had never really done any Servant sheets before Hou Yi before, and seeing everyone else's work + the prompt inspired me to try something new. Thanks for that. Here are my picks:

3rd place: Pretender, Guillotin

Really gets into the macabre fascination that we can have towards killing as spectacle or grotesque magic. Personally not the biggest fan of non-specific Skill or Noble Phantasm descriptions, but for a Pretender that's mitigated somewhat since it's mean to be the fraud Class.

2nd place: Archer, Silvius Brabo

Truly, the Archer Class is made up of Archers. Cool way to highlight killing a foe far beyond your own station as a form of heroism. I like how he's just bewildered he ever got there as though he didn't kill a fucking giant on his own: always got a soft spot for people struggling with impostor syndrome.

1st place: Ruler, Abel

A very sinister interpretation of Abel from the perspective of every single non-human life we've ever taken in the name of sustenance and survival. Hearing the dead animal Greek chorus scream at him and curse humanity as a false god is kind of what I wished an ideal version of Koyan would have been like, so glad to see that concept explored more. Excellent stuff.

[TQG Imaginatorious]

1 pt: Morg's Pretender [Simo Häyhä]
2 pts: Pine's Ruler Abel
3 pts: Frigix's Silvius Brabo

[Baron Magnus]

Alright. Time to finish this off. However due to the contest ending, I'll also be revisiting honorable mentions and my votes and giving more insight into what I like about them. Especially La Voisin since that is such a damn good sheet.

Francis Pegahmagabow: Not gonna lie, this was a good sheet. It gives me a constantine XI vibes and I'm here for them. I also like the small bit of commentary on politics and how awful it can tend to be. If I really had any complaints, it would be that the craft essence is a bit lackluster, though thats just in comparision to other craft essences some of which have been bangers. Overall, a good sheet.
A

Cleopatra Alter/Apāpi: I have mixed feelings on this sheet. Legitimately, the first half is honestly great stuff. I think its a bit wordy but at the very least I can see this Cleopatra existing, even if just as a terminal for the second half. Like a lot of the skills are super interesting stuff. Then the second half. Apep or i'm sorry Apāpi. I get what your going for with it, I really do, but it doesn't work. Could be just me but having Apāpi be part of the sheet brought down a lot of the good writing you did for Cleopatra. Mainly because it removes a huge amount of mystery built up. Second it's... if I can be blunt, a bit generic. As in I can see every snake god with some void connections having this set. There's nothing unique about it. Which if its the point maybe that'll change my mind. Either way, I'm not gonna call it the worst sheet because Cleopatra is genuinely good but the disappointment Apāpi brought means I can't give it high marks.
B

Sweeny Todd: This was a good read. At first I thought it was a bland, generic, bloodthirsty serial killer. However I caught it. The subtle hints... and maybe its not your intention but now I'm thinking he's not that bloodthirsty at all. I get the feeling your angle is similar to that of Salieri but unlike him lacks Self Denial and an Avenger saint graph to exist in the half state he can. Either way, its thought provoking and so I feel obligated to award it high marks. Good work.
A

Il Sistema: I didn't know Sora was in the mafia. Huh. Well thats neat. Also, great sheet. I love how you tied the skills into the overall narrative of explaining 'the System'. I also enjoy the imagery the words provoke, primarily that of Jojo's Vento Aureo and Jojolands. Yet despite the similarities, I enjoy the sheet itself. I admit to confusion about the Pretender classification but the NP, after a third read, explain it succintly and I like it. Overall, good job.
A++

Gan Ning: A sheet I have mixed feelings on. I do kind of like it as I see what you are going for and its neat but at the same time the execution isn't great. So I'll simply make a suggestion; next time scour the skills section of the wiki as your writing. Even if it tends to be inaccurate, it does at least give you an idea of what skills are about and often cites sources so you can go verify them. Subversive Activities is essentially what the second NP does and you could add flavor text to add allowing the survival of others during the prep phase of the skill. At the very least though this isn't the worst sheet in the contest by a fairly wide margin.
B

Simo Hayha the Second: Okay, this was a great meme sheet. Even if serious, its still good. Honestly. That said I will admit, and maybe this is just bias talking, I like Mare's better. That said the idea of Simo becoming something akin to Jackie via reputation from this site is a lowkey hilarious idea that... is totally something Nasuverse would do I think. Wackier things have happened.
A+

Samiel: Top work Vidi. Both with the art and the sheet. Admittedly, my vote is somewhat influenced by realizing that she's similar to Tezzie-boy. I love the image of her shooting her gun fifty times and only hitting once, or trying to do a warning shot and fatally wounding the person she's trying to intimidate. Hilarious stuff. I will admit that I do wish her NP lacked the auto-aim function of itself.... but I get it and so that desire will not affect my overall grading. Great stuff as always.
A++

Elephant's Foot:.... I may have Mare in my votes this year completely because again you deliver literal gold in a sheet. It's simply spectacular. The sheet itself is movingly tragic but you can definitely see why its a Beast Candidate... and further, it is a very sensibly made sheet. Each skill makes sense and the explanations you give are also great. I just... wow. I don't think I've seen someone produce two banger sheets in a single contest (that or my memory is failing me). Regardless, good job and enjoy the points.
A+++

Simo Hayha the Third: Rather than compare to the others, I'll focus on the sheet itself. It is well done. Despite being the same figure as Mare's and Morg's it is still doing something completely unique from the other two. Not only that but I do think the sheet is executed well enough to stand at the top on its own. I dunno if it'll get my vote (there are so many good sheets) but at the very least I can guarantee an honorable mention. Good work.
A+++

Christman: I admit, part of my enjoyment of the sheet is the first name. Its... a bit ridiculous to me. Like someone naming their kid Superman on legal documentation sort of silly. That all said, it is a well-done sheet of a fairly obscure figure... or maybe he is to me and everyone else heard of him (which happens). Either way, good job especially with explaining his history in a somewhat entertaining and concise fashion.
A

Ketch: A very unique servant. I have to admit, I never once thought of this angle for the Saber class. You delivered wonderfully. I have to applaud this sheet as genuinely good. I especially love the noble phantasm. Such a unique idea for a figure like this. I also love the characterization. A very hatable person. I genuinely dislike them despite giving this sheet high praise. Similar to Mare you've delivered two amazing sheets in the same contest.
A+++

Orestes: A good sheet. A bit on the wordy side but the story it tells is fantastic. I genuinely enjoyed it. I especially like how synergistic the sheet overall really is. Every skill flows into and empowers one another and the noble phantasm. Just... wonderful. Its a shame there are so many good sheets because otherwise this would be a shoe-in for the vote.
A++

Lycaon: Another primarily narrative sheet, eh? Yet unlike Amleth this one explains the mechanics of the skills and noble phantasms. I genuinely enjoyed this sheet. Legitimately, its so good I think I might vote for it over La Voisin. I did not expect this from an 11th hour sheet....... so yeah. As for what works not only does the narrative before the sheet give a great idea of his character, his mechanics are honestly very interesting and thought provoking. I never considered those angles for a Lycaon sheet. So kudos. This might be the best sheet in the contest, in my opinion. I dunno, I need to think on it.
A+++


There are my current comments. I said I'd do honorable mentions and vote but this last batch has me thinking.... I may reread some sheets to try to decide because honestly Lycaon legitimately impressed me and I may vote for it and Mare despite La Voisin. I dunno. I'll need to time to decide. Either way, hope the commentary was helpful at least a little.

[DracoScribe]

oh my effin gosh so many entries why
thank gosh for the deadline...
But unfortunately, that many means I'm once again doing sets of it.

---

Yíng Zhèng: That intro is reminding me of something, specifically the fact that the guy had everyone turn to him in hate, but I can't put my finger on it... And no, I don't mean Angra Mainyu, I just mean the specific imagine of a huge amount of people all turning to one target. Ah, whatever, either way, it doesn't change my overall feelings for this sheet, that being pity for the poor boy. Oh, of course I'd want to stop him, but...man. A kid stuck in "enemy territory" and being blamed for everything that went wrong... Can hardly blame him. Other than that, this feels like a pretty good sheet. Nothing too glaring in my eyes, but nothing that stands out to me either, at least in tastes. I am a bit...confused? Curious? Why his NP a tree. I guess I just wanna know as someone who doesn't know that much about this figure on why it's an "evil tree" when there wasn't any foreshadowing, lore or imagery wise, to a tree.

Jeanne de Clisson: Another Salt Pillar sheet! These are always a treat and a reminder i really ought to read the rest of your sheets in cas. The way you do your prose is just...ugh. I absolutely love it to bits, and this one is no different. Everything that told her story was just captivating, but I think my favorite part was describing "revenge is a three act play". My gosh, I love that imagery, not just because it admittedly made me think of the descriptions I made for the class skills of Avenger, but because it...how do I put it? Ah yes, it's making a comparison you wouldn't expect in a sheet about sea faring woman who's dead set on killing the French monarchy, at least I certainly didn't, and making it work. First "Yearning", second "prancing" and third "satisfaction", and then add in the lion and sea monster imagery... Ugh. So good. And as frosting, her revenge is all because her husband was killed by the French monarchy. We love a woman who's going to hunt you to the ends of the world for ruining her happy life and love of her life, with the cherry on top being her being basically a pirate. I'll admit I was shocked all of that was so short, but man you managed to make it feel so satisfying to read. i really really should go read your other sheets

Silvius Brabo: So. Anyone here Fire Emblem fans? Anyone ever heard of the 3-13 Archer? Basically, there's a certain map in Radiant Dawn where NPCs are a major part of it, being "generic" allies that help you in this particular chapter. Unlike most FE games, the generic NPCs aren't so bad they crumple like paper, but not so good that they can handle it without your help. But there is one NPC, an Archer, who has a tendency to defeat way more enemies than they usually do, and while I myself didn't have that experience with that Archer, I still had the experience of one of the NPCs beating way more enemies than they should. Why am I talking about all of this? Because that is what this guy feels like to me. He feels like that fairly generic NPC who you don't expect too much from, and most of the time that is a reasonable expectation, but then every once in a while...he kicks ass. That's what this guy feels like. And honestly, I'm kinda fond of him for that. He probably won't be getting points from me, the competition is way too much, but that is by no means a demerit on him or anything. I'm sure he'd get it though. (also LMAO that tsukihime manga panel edit)

Guillotin: hello walking existential crisis that is also a showman, how do you do. may you please not murder me with how you're hitting several of my buttons. yes i know i have many buttons, that is all the more reason why you shouldn't wantonly press 'em.
Okay, I'm not as badly affected as I jokingly seem, but it is seriously good, so let's start off with that opening, shall we? Because on reread, damn, I love that it starts off with an event that doesn't have the actual figure of the sheet in it...but it is important. It's talking about the wheel execution method, a method you mention by the end of the intro to be considered a cruel means to end someone's life that should stay in the past...only to then be introduced to, at least from my perspective, the actual poster boy of "cruel execution method from ages past": the guillotine. Or rather, in this case, Guillotin, and oh my gosh, that just makes the irony of "France never again resorted to the wheel, which suddenly appeared to belong to a very distant past" all the more, well...ironic to me. Then we got his magician schtick, which seems like outta nowhere...but really it's the showmanship of "magic" tying to the fact that, yes, guillotine executions were made a spectacle of, a "show" for a captive audience to watch. It ties to his class as a Pretender, yes, but remember...it's all a show, and that includes him. Where Guillotine the man ends and where Guillotine the device begins...or if there's even a seperation at all...that's the thing about shows like this, isn't it? Which is the act and which is the nature and which is the former drawn from the latter or the latter from from the former? It's a question where any one answer feels like a "yes", just like how it ties to the imagery of making a magic show believable enough that both the "solution" and the "intention" are "yes", makes me honestly I like that, especially because he's a Pretender. But that's not the end of it, oh no. No, remember what'e his show? It's a show of death. Probably the one truth he knows is unmutable in his eyes. No matter what, death comes for you, and no matter where he goes, death will be left in his wake. Unsurprisingly, all this talk about what's real and what's not, and death and hope, especially in the context of Guillotin, makes me feel for the guy, stuck with a legacy not unlike Nobel, except without something that might counteract that memory in history. If you think about the pieces, "magician" and "Guillotin", and add them together, it sounds stupid, but with all you've done to tie the imagery with the reality and death, it makes the package well...a captivating show. Now hopefully I won't actually die from it. XP

Leukothea: It's disturbing. Thanks. I hate it. /jk Okay but for real, ugh, you don't dwell on it (and thank goodness for that), but you focused on the disturbing bits long enough that it really hits you. But I'm squeamish, so honestly I feel like it hits me harder than I want it to, because I don't really wanna deal on this sheet longer than I have to. Again, not because it's bad, I wouldn't have read the whole thing otherwise. How you combine these two figures that become another was quite the ride, and you do it well, but again...it's that same prose that makes the rest of the sheet evocative that makes that real squeamish part really haunting for me and I'd like to not read that again, thank you very much.

Abel: Am I a dumb dumb? I feel like I'm being a dumb dumb. Because atmosphere wise, this is great. That gif setting the tone, the font for some bits adding to it, and the red text bits even more so...just gives that creepy feeling of walking into a seemingly normal place, or meeting a seemingly normal person, but you notice the stuff that's off and you know it's off but all the rest of it seems fine so surely it can't be that bad, right? And yet I feel like I don't...get it? Maybe? I got that this sheet, it's focusing on the fact that, despite Cain being the first murderer, he wasn't the first killer, because that went to Abel, sweet Abel who merely killed because he thought it would be a satisfactory sacrifice, but other than that, uh...I don't know. I feel like there's more to it (I in fact thought there were still more collapses when I reached the end), especially with all those voices, but I'm just thinking I'm too dumb to figure it out. Or I need to read it more to, and I just don't feel like doing that...idk. But still, I think it's pretty good.

---

Okay, that's it for the reviews for now. Time for a reply and then I'm done for today...I'll get back to the others later.

...Why does this almost feel worse than if you just tore it apart? Random told me something similar, and I literally don't know what it is or how to fix it, so I'm just trapped in this zone of confusion. I just... don't pass the vibe check.
At least you liked the Rufus thing.

...when you put it like that, that is worse... Hmm, well, I didn't elaborate on it partially because I didn't want to take too long, but partially because I figured it was just a taste thing, but I think I'll just elaborate as best I can and hope it might be constructive.
The main thing about La Voisin's sheet is that...there wasn't any one, or more, aspects that I latched onto. I'm the type of person that, even if most of the piece is terrible, if there is just one thing about it I love, I still like it, even if I know objectively it's not all that great. Case in point: Spelror's Yinglong (first version seeing as he wants to rework her). In her case, I am biased to like her because of several reasons, including that she happens to be tied with one of my Servants, but the biggest reason really can be summed up as "dragon love story". I know that sheet is not so good, but I still like it anyway because I latched onto that and the reasons not mentioned.
La Voisin on the other hand...I can't say I like any one part of her strongly. All of it is good, as I said, but it's like...pretend if I met her in person. Since she's focused solely on poisons, and I wouldn't be asking for a reading from her, she's pretty curt and stoic, and she probably wouldn't bat an eye at my presence, so I just kinda leave her be too, not because I don't like her or anything, I just...do. Just like this sheet. I see it, it seems fine, and then I just...leave it well enough alone. I think she's the kind of character that needs interactions to make her shine, which is why the Rufus interaction stuck out. Another interaction that stuck out for me Madame de Montespan and...actually yeah, really all the interactions.
But again, to me this feels more like a taste thing than actually anything wrong, seeing as I've liked Servants with no interactions before, so I didn't want to mention any more than I did in my review. Hope that might...well, help fix La Voisin and/or sheets like hers in the future, though a part of me still doubts it will...

[Mudadio]

Ngl, i really get lycaon's tangent about the homunculus flesh. Reminds me of people talking about servant sheets/stories in general. like how some are meaningful, deep, exciting etc etc while others are opposite, helps that people refer to the act of writimg as "cooking" these days

[Morg van Destro]

...when you put it like that, that is worse... Hmm, well, I didn't elaborate on it partially because I didn't want to take too long, but partially because I figured it was just a taste thing, but I think I'll just elaborate as best I can and hope it might be constructive.
The main thing about La Voisin's sheet is that...there wasn't any one, or more, aspects that I latched onto. I'm the type of person that, even if most of the piece is terrible, if there is just one thing about it I love, I still like it, even if I know objectively it's not all that great. Case in point: Spelror's Yinglong (first version seeing as he wants to rework her). In her case, I am biased to like her because of several reasons, including that she happens to be tied with one of my Servants, but the biggest reason really can be summed up as "dragon love story". I know that sheet is not so good, but I still like it anyway because I latched onto that and the reasons not mentioned.
La Voisin on the other hand...I can't say I like any one part of her strongly. All of it is good, as I said, but it's like...pretend if I met her in person. Since she's focused solely on poisons, and I wouldn't be asking for a reading from her, she's pretty curt and stoic, and she probably wouldn't bat an eye at my presence, so I just kinda leave her be too, not because I don't like her or anything, I just...do. Just like this sheet. I see it, it seems fine, and then I just...leave it well enough alone. I think she's the kind of character that needs interactions to make her shine, which is why the Rufus interaction stuck out. Another interaction that stuck out for me Madame de Montespan and...actually yeah, really all the interactions.
But again, to me this feels more like a taste thing than actually anything wrong, seeing as I've liked Servants with no interactions before, so I didn't want to mention any more than I did in my review. Hope that might...well, help fix La Voisin and/or sheets like hers in the future, though a part of me still doubts it will...

Hm... I'll have to think on this. I appreciate you following up on me.

[OddEyedDuelist]

Most Honorable Mentions:
Ino = Leukothea = Halia (DelRay)
Simo Haya (Marethyu77)
Simo Haya (Morg Van Destro)

1 Point: William Tecumseh Sherman (Vididdi)
A splendidly creative concept executed well! I don't have too much to say about it, but I love the way he interacts with/expands upon ideas present in the preexisting lore, and his execution as a Foreigner Class servant. The faceclaim definitely adds to the overall appeal of the servant as well, its a really fun design!

2 Points: Simo Haya (Frigix)
It seems as though this contest will go down in Beast Lair history as "the contest of Simo Haya". And, at least in my opinion, this is the Simo that reigns supreme. The intermission and the conversation between servant and master reminded me a lot of Fate Route, which did a lot to endear me to them. The way you used the winter as a way of theming the sheet as well was also amazing.

3 Points: Orestes (Mycielhasbroken)
Now, I'll admit. I'm biased towards anything to do with the Tantalids/House of Atreus - and doubly so towards Agamemnon and Clytemnestra's children, so Orestes had that going for him from the word go. But this is a genuinely fascinating and fun twist on Orestes as well. The twist of the Erinyes falling for Orestes was unexpected, but executed wonderfully and made reading their relationship lines super charming. A creative twist that worked out great and helped contribute to a great sheet overall

<----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
This was a DAMN good contest, everyone really came out swinging and very few people missed. Great fucking job everyone

[Voikirium]

1 Point-Orestes & Erinyes
2 Points-William Tecumseh Sherman
3 Points-Scorpion & Frog

[Salt Pillar]

1 Point - Guillotine
Fine idea, BASED execution (eheh haha)

2 Points - Ino = Luekothea = Halia
I love nauseating prose I love when prose makes me feel uncomfortable, godspeed

3 Points - Váli Odinson
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! awesome !!!!!!!!! SO TRUEEE

[DrStein]

Baron Magnus: Not to be that guy about it, but I don't really get what you mean. How many giant snake monsters exist in multiple dimensions, have specific power interactions with chaos gods, and have an existence based around the rejuvenating solar cycle and the primordial waters of creation?

Like, aside from that, totally fair...he IS a bit too much of a generic final boss monster. But I feel like I played up the aspects differentiating him from other mythical serpents pretty well. Python should not have a black hole in it's stomach, and Ao Guang doesn't transmit infinite data through eye contact.

--------------------

Vote soon.

[Scotcheroos]

How much longer do we have to vote? I'm still rereading the sheets and trying to decide

[DrStein]

1 Point - Saron's Lycaon - A fairly simple a straightforward sheet, but the shorts did a really good job of fleshing out the character and his "role", so to speak. I'd have liked a little more clarification on his backstory and motivations, but I like where you're heads at.


2 Points - Muramasa's Pegahmagabow - A cool sheet for a figure I'd never heard of. Always cool to see WWI-era Heroic Spirits. I really like his personality and themes.


3 Points - Morg's Montvoisin - It, uh, it hit for me, man. Great personality, fun mechanics, very unique compared to both canon characters and most fan servants of similar figures...and it just kinda oozes style and vibes, especially with such a perfect FC. Just great work.



Pinetree and Del's entries were also really good, but for whatever reason they didn't suit my personal image of those characters, so I just didn't vibe with them.

This was a vibes contest for me, apparently.

[Anju Addams]

3 POINTS:
Assassin - Catherine Montvoisin by Morg van Destro.
You know what, Morg? You didn't do the entire Simo relationships meme but I have to commend you on putting out two absolute banger Servants this time. Overall, I think both are perfect, though in the end, I prefer Catherine just a little more over Simo, but that's probably me being a sucker for Poison Girl aesthetics more than anything. She gets you 3 points from me.

2 POINTS:
Pretender - Guillotin by WhiteFrenzy.
A cute sheet for someone who probably wants to chop (half) my neck off. I really enjoy going away from the standard executioner vibes and playing up a magician type of feeling which I think is quite interesting. It feels so unique, and I have to commend that. Well done. An excellent sheet overall. The only thing I can chunk points from is the NP feeling a bit vague and kinda bland. I'm not really fond of Insta-Kill with no condition NPs, I'm afraid.

1 POINTS:
Saber - John Ketch by Scotcheroos.
A surprise sheet that snuck in at almost the last minute! Seriously, I completely forgot you were doing this one until you posted it. She's sufficiently creepy enough for a crazy executioner and that NP freaks me out totally. I think all the skills work together nicely but - it does lose points if only because...well -
I'm not sure why she is a Saber? It honestly doesn't feel like she fits the class at all. I know she has a knife but knives can be used by anyone. I feel more of an Assassin or Berserker vibe honestly.

HONORABLE MENTIONS
Avenger - Jeanne de Clisson by Salt Pillar.
A sheet that almost made the top three if not for the absolute bangers above. Props for using Ishmael as a faceclaim too, I think it really works. She totally feels like an Avenger out for revenge.

Ruler - Habel by pinetree.
Wait, its not Cain!? Well, colored me surprised. A great twist on the whole Cain thing we have going on here at BL and kind of an obvious sheet when thought about. Sad not to see more, but this fulfils my desires anyway. I just wish it was a bit longer, especially in the skills department.

[Scotcheroos]

1 POINTS:
Saber - John Ketch by Scotcheroos.
A surprise sheet that snuck in at almost the last minute! Seriously, I completely forgot you were doing this one until you posted it. She's sufficiently creepy enough for a crazy executioner and that NP freaks me out totally. I think all the skills work together nicely but - it does lose points if only because...well -
I'm not sure why she is a Saber? It honestly doesn't feel like she fits the class at all. I know she has a knife but knives can be used by anyone. I feel more of an Assassin or Berserker vibe honestly.

sips tea

It is absolutely because he used that kitchen knife one time. Saber was supposed to be Ketch's absolute worst Class possible, kinda like how Berserker is canonically Heracles' worst class iirc. This was supposed to be the class that would make everyone ask 'How the fuck are you in this class'....except Ketch, who'd go 'Why the fuck did you summon me in this class?!' The official reasoning is 'He was summoned to allow for more wiggle room for interactions, and I admittedly liked the Meatcleaver NP which didn't feel like it would fit anywhere else'

Unofficially, it's because 'Assassin is a half-assed shittier Sanson expy, Rider would be waaaaaaaaaaay too op, and I didn't have enough time to write two sheets for the secret class at the end'.

[Morg van Destro]

Hey kids! In case you didn’t know, the other half of my reviews are back in the past. Don’t worry though! All you gotta do is click my handy-dandy link, and you can gaze back through time. Go on! Click the link!
Alright! I gotta do the other reviews now, but I hope you’ll come back and read them when you can! Bye-bye!

Guillotin: Louisette called. She wants her schtick back.
I’ll put aside my Pretender hater hat for the moment here. My headcanon is also that this is the guillotine pretending to be Guillotin and no one can convince me otherwise. Overall, I like this guy. I like that all his Skills are just different names for the guillotine too. His song is less whimsical than I was expecting. My biggest problem is really just that I wanted more details on how his abilities function, as they feel like they can just do whatever the plot needs them to at the moment. Still, a unique take on this idea, even if I think it would be better thematically if the NP had elements of him staging it like a performance rather than a simple death zone. Like him being able to target anyone in the zone while not instantly killing them, but if they are next to him, therefore being “on the stage”, his attack is almost certain to kill.

Leukothea: We’re in the edge now, boys.
I’ve been there most steps of the way on this one, so anything I could point out as a flaw is hard to see. I know Pine thinks the more blatant parts of the sheet felt fetishy, but I think that’s an odd way of looking at a horrible act being described. It’s not as though we get intense detail about it beyond existing. Anyway, that’s more personal preference. Is a good Del sheet. What else can I say?

Abel: Herder of sheeps.
This is probably the most unique interpretation of Abel I’ve seen. Sure, we’ve gotten two separate lostbelt interpretations that fall along the same lines, but tying it into the death of animals and making him a twisted curse of immortality is really neat. I like him.

Simo Häyhä: + L + ratio.
How dare. The audacity. Not only do you steal my FC, but then you steal my joke of copying Skills verbatim from other sheets! Then, you tell me to my face that the NP was also inspired by my Doc Holliday! You’re just a dirty thief! I won’t stand for this!
Thank you. I’m very flattered.

El Cid: Kiritsugu pseudo real
Like, we all know it’s intentional. You leaned so hard into the idea I wish it was actually that. He’s mostly pretty basic otherwise, though his NP basically being a vibe check is pretty great. Enjoyable for the references and NP, but not spectacular.

Francis Pegahmagabow: That time(s) Canada committed war crimes.
Marksmanship with a subcategory at A+++ and a morden soldier with Agility and Endurance close to Herc. Not exactly what I expected from this Servant, I’ll be honest. The NP is kinda fun. The man became a politician, which obviously brings him down several points (joke). His CE is kinda lame though. You didn’t even “war is hell” right. I will say he isn’t basic. He’s a little neat in fact. Just not my cup of soldier tea.

Apep: You know, I thought the meme sheets would be the most derivative.
I think the Cleo opening is completely unnecessary and honestly bogs down the sheet. That stated up front, I just didn’t really enjoy reading this sheet. Not the same way I didn’t like Amleth, which was because of the sheer volume and lack of mechanics. Here, it’s because I’ve read better Apep sheets. The FC is real cool, but other than the justification for him using Cleo, which I’ve already stated my feelings on, he feels very flat as a character. Then there’s choices of Skills, like for some reason giving Avenger a fancy name, the Chaos Noise thing doesn’t really have a connection to Apep as far as I’m aware, Mana Burst (Chaos) just kinda being there, World-Encircler being more a Jormungand thing, and adding “Super” to Monstrous Strength as though that makes it extra special. The NPs are expected, and that’s about all. Overall, he’s not that interesting to me.

Sweeney Todd: Demon barber gives bad hair cuts.
You had me until the NP. If this was a Foreigner rather than an Assassin with an outer god backing him up, I could believe that Sweeney would have this. It’d even be interesting how their influence would bleed in. As is, it feels way too powerful for Sweeney Todd of all people to have, if I could see it working with the right figure or background. He needed more time in the oven. If he had, maybe he would’ve come out a delectable meat pie.

Il Sistema:
Thanks. I hate him and everything he stands for. Creative Servant, but he’s absolutely ridiculous on a power level. Truly, the embodiment of society. Only answer is to nuke the entire site from orbit.

Gan Ning: I checked with the Chinese people here. Not even they knew who this guy was.
He seems… fine, I guess. I wish his Skills had explanations for his possession of them. He feels a little more at home in Rider with some slight stat and NP adjustments. Speaking of, first glance over him left me deflated by his NPs, but they’re actually interesting ways of interpreting his stuff. He’s another one I’d toss in the middle.

[Simo Häyhä]: Masterpiece.

Samiel: *Is taking lessons with Doc Holliday*
I remember misreading the NP and going “If she uses them, she shouldn’t have auto aim”. It’s only after I realized that she can’t use her own special bullets that that thought went away. She’s just another fun Vidi sheet. I love failgirl Samiel who went “No. I’m committing to the gun motif. I don’t care if I can’t hit the broadside of a barn. It’s my thing as the Black Hunter, so it’s what I’m doing.”

Elephant’s Foot: Should’ve been a loli.
I think you had a very interesting idea here. I think the Skills and NP work well, and I think that this could’ve been a contender for my vote. I only think all this because I don’t think you stuck the landing with the characterization and theme. I was actually taken aback at the end where he’s supposed to be able to become Beast of Admiration, because all he seems to vocalize is contempt for both his existence and humans. He speaks as though they are lesser beings, messing with things they don’t understand, while also affirming his own nature as waste. I just don’t see the admiration. I see a creature that’s existence is an eroding hole, and if the ending hadn’t weirdly tried a 180 or found a different thing to be a Beast of, I think he could’ve been elevated.

Simo Häyhä: This is definitely a Simo sheet.
I agree with other people that this is a good sheet. Props to you, Frigix. I’ve just seen it before. Every avenue. I even did the “nameless girl who qualifies for the over inflated reputation that Simo can’t anymore” thing in mine, though with a different stint to it. This is no indictment of your sheet. I just can’t help but see all the shades Simo I’ve already seen in this sheet. I know you didn’t look back at any other ones, but I have. This is fine because of my own newly skewed perspective. I will say her talk with the master feels like a moody teen looking off in the distance while saying edgy stuff thinking they sound poetic though, and that also kinda detracts a bit from me. I see why other like her though.

Christman Gniperdoliga: Should’ve been an Assassin.
I mean, that’s really the thing to say. His Mad Enhancement is meaningless because of how coherent he is, and that’s literally the only Berserker thing about him, so it’s pointless and you gave him Presence Concealment anyway, so why bother? Honestly, it’s my biggest problem with this sheet, and the thing that keeps me from considering it for points. That, and I think the interlude at the end could have been written more interestingly, but that’s a personal nitpick.

John Ketch: I get why you’re evil now! It’s MONEY!
I love him. He’s a terrible person and proud of it. I do think making the curse completely unremovable is a bit more than he deserves, but that’s subjective. Anyways, he’s also a minor failboy because he didn’t think through putting himself in a female body, and that’s just funny.

Orestes & Erinyes: We needed more yanderes in this contest.
Now, I don’t think this is the most spectacular sheet in the contest, but this one is pretty good. The dynamic between them is pretty great, having their pursuit turn to love is a bit cliché but it works, the Skills are appropriate and neat, and I have a soft spot for NP that work because the target is imagining the person they really want to attack. That CE too. Good stuff.

King Lycaon: Einzberns ruin another war. World is shocked.
Opening? Pretty fun, but superfluous to my judgement of this Servant really. I think he’s neat, and his obsession with “Wolf Zeus” is funny to me. “Wolf Zeus, my beloved”. I like him. I do wish you had integrated the story with the sheet more, but we did talk about that and how it came out the way it did, so I understand.

Now, the votes. If I had to pick three that really stuck in my craw and had a delectable flavor, it’d have to be…

1p: Abel, who while really good is one of the few I wish was a little longer.

2p: Yíng Zhèng, not just because of the southern preacher or commitment to edge not seen anywhere else this contest, but also for being a good Servant and still cooler than our canon Qin.

3p: Diomedes, because Odd, I was iffy on some of your earlier sheets, but you cooked here. And yes, that pun was very intentional.