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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #761
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Fair enough. I suppose we can have an extraordinary result from an extraordinary prompt.

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  2. #762
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Either that or two categories.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 13/06/2018)

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    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  3. #763
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    If we're going to say that it's a tie, i recommend not splitting two categories.

    I'll just send some prompts to Bloble and he can say if he likes it and if he has other suggestions

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  4. #764
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Ok everyone. Let's do this.

    TIED IN THIRD PLACE, WITH 7 PTS

    Ferdinand Magellan, by Spartacus


    Elias LŲnnrot, by Bloble


    Mathurin Roze de Chantoiseau, by You


    IN 2ND PLACE, WITH 10 PTS

    Khaemweset, by Sleepmode


    IN TIED 1ST PLACE, WITH 21 PTS
    A book and a dog lmao

    Laika/Unknown, by Bloble


    Ibn Battuta, by JetKinen




    Big congrats to both of winners!

    As for the prompt...communicate between the two of you and see if you can come up with a prompt you are both satisfied with. If not, we can just do 2 prompts for next month.

    Ok...that's everything, right? Excellent.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    If we're going to say that it's a tie, i recommend not splitting two categories.

    I'll just send some prompts to Bloble and he can say if he likes it and if he has other suggestions
    Sounds good.

  5. #765
    三十四 Thirty Four 34's Avatar
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    We must all thank Sunny for making the prompt that sparked all these amazing sheets

    - - - Updated - - -

    And congratz for the winners!
    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    I hoped they wouldn't feature because not once have I liked Fate's take on ANCIENT ALIENS. It's stupid for beings from humanity's myth and history to be the result of ANCIENT ALIENS all along, even insulting to an extent. Velbers are bad, Alien Trees are bad, Foreigners are bad, stick with humans relating to humans please Nasu.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSeaDragon View Post
    Nasu was always a pen name. It was Georgio Tsoukalos all along

  6. #766
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34 View Post
    We must all thank Sunny for making the prompt that sparked all these amazing sheets

    - - - Updated - - -

    And congratz for the winners!
    Agreed.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]

  7. #767
    世界が丸い限り! Spartacus's Avatar
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    Magellan-kun, Magellan-kun. Politic actually works.

    Seriously, grats for the winners.
    Support JP (05/05/2018)
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    ??? 1st Act = HALFU%
    OP is done tho

  8. #768
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Thanks Sunny for picking that prompt. Though I hate traveling in real life, I love wanderlust in fiction.

    Congratulations on everyone for the great quality in sheets overall.
    Congratulations Bloble for being the real winner putting 2 sheets on the top 3.

    Also thanks to everyone who voted and/or gave criticism on Ibn Battuta. Never thought he was going to reach such heights

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  9. #769
    https://goo.gl/88mdof Criarino's Avatar
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    congratulations you two!
    The legendary Boble and a fellow countryman... couldn't ask for a better podium. Hey, Jetkinen, help seu amigo aqui com o next prompt
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  10. #770
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Congrats to the winner(s)!

    now to silently lurk until the next prompt.

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    Dreams of swallow cuts.
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    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  11. #771
    三十四 Thirty Four 34's Avatar
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    Note to self:
    Make sure to submit the sheet early so that you can get more of those sweet reviews.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    I hoped they wouldn't feature because not once have I liked Fate's take on ANCIENT ALIENS. It's stupid for beings from humanity's myth and history to be the result of ANCIENT ALIENS all along, even insulting to an extent. Velbers are bad, Alien Trees are bad, Foreigners are bad, stick with humans relating to humans please Nasu.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSeaDragon View Post
    Nasu was always a pen name. It was Georgio Tsoukalos all along

  12. #772
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    That is actually is a problem, how do we make sure the sheets are reviewed equaly?

  13. #773
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by massive_jojo_reference View Post
    That is actually is a problem, how do we make sure the sheets are reviewed equaly?
    Thats not something we can really regulate. It’s entirely up to the people who take the time to write reviews to write however many they want to.
    Last edited by 4score7years; March 2nd, 2018 at 07:36 AM.

  14. #774
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki's Avatar
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    grats to the winners
    Be sliced by the blades of summer snow, fragile thing..

  15. #775
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Spoiler:
    Ferdinand Magellan
    With the abundance of grand order Servants going ham on the anime factor, this fits. Personally, that sort of this isnít really to my taste. However, this is definitely the way that the franchise is moving so thereís nothing wrong with that.
    My biggest gripe with this sheet would be that the skills other than Equilibrium Fortune are pretty much the generic explorer, captain skills. Equilibrium Fortune is a well-designed personal skill that fits well with her personality which is important for skills.
    The centerpiece of this sheet would be the Noble Phantasms. Theyíre pretty clever in that they donít focus on battle, which is something important about making Servants. Servants arenít meant to fight in grail wars, theyíre meant to represent hope for humans. And these two Noble Phantasms fit that perfectly considering who she is.
    A note about the second Noble Phantasm. Itís noted in Garden of Avalon that giants didnít make it to the underside of the world. Either way, I donít think the second last paragraph is necessary.

    Benjamin Franklin
    I know you said that making him a Caster would be too straightforward but there is a lot of Caster here. I feel thatís the weakest part. If you took away Magic Resistance and added Territory Creation and said it doesnít apply because of his first NP, you would have had a Caster. I guess I donít understand why this is a Lancer.
    Tesla is classified as an Archer because the Archer class is known for using projectiles and strong Noble Phantasms. The Lancer class is known having high attributes especially AGI and adept in using speed and range. Of course, there are exceptions but I canít see in your sheet why Franklin is an exception.
    Other than that, good Caster sheet.

    Pytheas of Massalia
    Very straightforward, but I didnít feel much personality from this Servant. These Foreigner Servants are more of an alt-history thought experiment and this did that fine.
    Prana Burst Ice seems a bit unnecessary, maybe add a reference to Yikilth if thatís something the Elder God actually does. Midnight sun is good and has a nice effect.
    All in all, this sheet is definitely solid but doesnít seem that unique.

    Fritz Haber
    Good sheet.
    The only thing is why the weapon corrosion for his NP a luck checks rather than a saving throw? Also, A rank might be a bit high for this NP, maybe B would be more fitting.
    I was a bit skeptical about him having EX rank Presence Concealment in the gas. But it makes sense that as the creator of the mustard gas he becomes one with the gas.

    David Livingstone
    I guess the whole thing about him is that his faith and his will that make up his skills are what led him to this reality marble. Personally, I still donít really like Reality Marbles for Noble Phantasms. I kind of understand how and why its here.
    For Mad Enhancement, rather than putting E. You could have just put no rank and mentioned how Protection of Faith and Unyielding Will combined basically make him mad.
    A nice, tight, sheet.
    .
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    On You's tombstone it will read
    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    That's exaggerating my point.

  16. #776
    el bolb Bloble's Avatar
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    Siddhartha Gautama
    This is a really solid sheet all around. It properly conveys just how busted Siddhartha is without having to type out anything egregious. Sure, it was probably easier because he's a modification of an existing Servant, but this angle is a good one that fits with his legend. I especially like your two NPs for how each has its own flavour and ties into historical anecdotes. The ball of dirt especially is inspired. I'd personally ask for a bit more in the personality section, perhaps mentioning more of how his experiences in life shaped his world view, but the relationships section nearly makes up for it through implication alone. Buddha fighting Elder Gods with ancient martial arts? Sign me up!

    Henry Louis Grin
    Those two lines at the beginning of this sheet did more than you might think. By priming the mind for something fantastical, they set up the tone for what's to come. I'm usually not a fan of Berserkers with atypical Mad Enhancement at EX rank, but when they're done well it's impossible to be mad. The myriad of different ways Grin can be read also helps round him out: do you read him as a crazy rampaging moron, or do you read him as a writer-type Servant like Hans and Shakespeare, whose stories target himself instead of others? Admittedly though, Powerless Shell feels a bit superfluous here. You don't need a Skill just to emphasize how weak you are; Andersen certainly didn't. The personality shines through in any case, especially with the double lore sections that managed to leave one more twist right near the end.

    HernŠn Cortťs
    Another sheet that very nearly made my top 3. He only fell short due to my personal preference for weird offbeat submissions over expertly designed conventional sheets, because this is exactly what Cortťs is. Every bit of this sheet is exactly where it needs to be and I can't find a single flaw in it. The Skills each fit perfectly, and both of the NPs are creative, managing to have a gacha version of GoB that feels earned. Linking the loss of divine protection to the diseases that ravaged the Aztecs while emphasizing the philosophical divide between two different faiths was a stroke of Nasu-ish genius. Your use of quotes was also a smart choice, enhancing the personality and charm of the sheet immensely. I don't have a single nitpick; if this contest were based only on technical mastery of sheet construction, you'd likely come out on top.

    Ibn Battuta
    I've said most of what I wanted to say when I was distributing points, so I'll just mention here that, of all the sheets I read, Battuta was the only one that instilled in me an urge to go outside and experience life, get lost, find my way into and out of trouble, and after a few years, come back with a story to tell. That's why it eventually won out over over, more technically impressive sheets. The nice justification for why we get a book instead of a Servant helps.

    Sir Richard Francis Burton
    This sheet has its ups and downs. I like the character you picked, but his justification for being Assassin is a bit weak. You can have sneaky heroes in other Classes, y'know. In fact, I'd have preferred him as a stealth Saber. The lore section is long, riddled with errors, and loses focus quickly. I actually had to skim over it the first time I read this sheet. Justification for rank A Battle Continuation is weak considering the sorts of things that qualify other heroes for it, and his Noble Phantasm might as well have been a skill for all the effect it has.

    Mathurin Roze de Chantoiseau
    See my vote post.

    Marco Polo
    For the most part, this sheet is functional but underwhelming. Nothing really jumped out at me; the skills were rather plain and the lore and personality sections were sparse. There is little to no justification for the Class Skills being as high rank as they are, and Terrain Advantage seems rather arbitrary in its effect. The one spot of brightness here is his book NP, which brings to mind Underworld from JJBA.

    Saint Helena of Constantinople
    Yet another solid sheet. The skills are your strong point here; each is well-justified and fits perfectly. You can really get a sense that Helena is a perfect fit for the Ruler class just through her description. As for the NPs, I like how the first manipulates damage instead of just healing or wounding. It's a way to make a fairly peaceful saint dangerous, too. The nails aren't quite as good a fit, but there's nothing too objectionable. I wish there was a personality section, or perhaps a bit more elaboration on her lore. It would've given this sheet the edge it needed to be on the level of the other highest-tier submissions.

  17. #777
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Ok. Our winners, Bloble and JetKinen, have chosen the following prompt: Animals.

    Definitely a lot of places you could take this one, but whatever you do, do it before the morning of Monday, April 23rd, as that's when our voting period begins.

  18. #778
    https://goo.gl/88mdof Criarino's Avatar
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    Can be a folk story monster? Like a mule without head?
    My servants and mages
    Sorry, my english sucks
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    Greatest battle in history
    He-man x Shiki Satsujinki

    I love the internet

    OH GOD SO CUTE

  19. #779
    世界が丸い限り! Spartacus's Avatar
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    I got a writer block from the get go
    Support JP (05/05/2018)
    Tell me if you want a Medb, Tsar or Achilles. Saber will be there forever, deal with it.


    ??? 1st Act = HALFU%
    OP is done tho

  20. #780
    Ooh, I think I've got a good idea.

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