Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

[MehKitteh]

Fair enough. I suppose we can have an extraordinary result from an extraordinary prompt.

[Bird of Hermes]

Either that or two categories.

[JetKinen]

If we're going to say that it's a tie, i recommend not splitting two categories.

I'll just send some prompts to Bloble and he can say if he likes it and if he has other suggestions

[4score7years]

Ok everyone. Let's do this.

TIED IN THIRD PLACE, WITH 7 PTS

Ferdinand Magellan, by Spartacus


Elias Lönnrot, by Bloble


Mathurin Roze de Chantoiseau, by You

IN 2ND PLACE, WITH 10 PTS

Khaemweset, by Sleepmode

IN TIED 1ST PLACE, WITH 21 PTS

A book and a dog lmao

Laika/Unknown, by Bloble


Ibn Battuta, by JetKinen

Big congrats to both of winners!

As for the prompt...communicate between the two of you and see if you can come up with a prompt you are both satisfied with. If not, we can just do 2 prompts for next month.

Ok...that's everything, right? Excellent.

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If we're going to say that it's a tie, i recommend not splitting two categories.

I'll just send some prompts to Bloble and he can say if he likes it and if he has other suggestions

Sounds good.

[34]

We must all thank Sunny for making the prompt that sparked all these amazing sheets

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And congratz for the winners!

[SleepMode]

We must all thank Sunny for making the prompt that sparked all these amazing sheets

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And congratz for the winners!

Agreed.

[Spartacus]

Magellan-kun, Magellan-kun. Politic actually works.

Seriously, grats for the winners.

[JetKinen]

Thanks Sunny for picking that prompt. Though I hate traveling in real life, I love wanderlust in fiction.

Congratulations on everyone for the great quality in sheets overall.
Congratulations Bloble for being the real winner putting 2 sheets on the top 3.

Also thanks to everyone who voted and/or gave criticism on Ibn Battuta. Never thought he was going to reach such heights

[Criarino]

congratulations you two!
The legendary Boble and a fellow countryman... couldn't ask for a better podium. Hey, Jetkinen, help seu amigo aqui com o next prompt

[MehKitteh]

Congrats to the winner(s)!

now to silently lurk until the next prompt.

[34]

Note to self:
Make sure to submit the sheet early so that you can get more of those sweet reviews.

[massive_jojo_reference]

That is actually is a problem, how do we make sure the sheets are reviewed equaly?

[4score7years]

That is actually is a problem, how do we make sure the sheets are reviewed equaly?

Thats not something we can really regulate. It’s entirely up to the people who take the time to write reviews to write however many they want to.

[Shiki]

grats to the winners

[You]

Spoiler:

Ferdinand Magellan
With the abundance of grand order Servants going ham on the anime factor, this fits. Personally, that sort of this isn’t really to my taste. However, this is definitely the way that the franchise is moving so there’s nothing wrong with that.
My biggest gripe with this sheet would be that the skills other than Equilibrium Fortune are pretty much the generic explorer, captain skills. Equilibrium Fortune is a well-designed personal skill that fits well with her personality which is important for skills.
The centerpiece of this sheet would be the Noble Phantasms. They’re pretty clever in that they don’t focus on battle, which is something important about making Servants. Servants aren’t meant to fight in grail wars, they’re meant to represent hope for humans. And these two Noble Phantasms fit that perfectly considering who she is.
A note about the second Noble Phantasm. It’s noted in Garden of Avalon that giants didn’t make it to the underside of the world. Either way, I don’t think the second last paragraph is necessary.

Benjamin Franklin
I know you said that making him a Caster would be too straightforward but there is a lot of Caster here. I feel that’s the weakest part. If you took away Magic Resistance and added Territory Creation and said it doesn’t apply because of his first NP, you would have had a Caster. I guess I don’t understand why this is a Lancer.
Tesla is classified as an Archer because the Archer class is known for using projectiles and strong Noble Phantasms. The Lancer class is known having high attributes especially AGI and adept in using speed and range. Of course, there are exceptions but I can’t see in your sheet why Franklin is an exception.
Other than that, good Caster sheet.

Pytheas of Massalia
Very straightforward, but I didn’t feel much personality from this Servant. These Foreigner Servants are more of an alt-history thought experiment and this did that fine.
Prana Burst Ice seems a bit unnecessary, maybe add a reference to Yikilth if that’s something the Elder God actually does. Midnight sun is good and has a nice effect.
All in all, this sheet is definitely solid but doesn’t seem that unique.

Fritz Haber
Good sheet.
The only thing is why the weapon corrosion for his NP a luck checks rather than a saving throw? Also, A rank might be a bit high for this NP, maybe B would be more fitting.
I was a bit skeptical about him having EX rank Presence Concealment in the gas. But it makes sense that as the creator of the mustard gas he becomes one with the gas.

David Livingstone
I guess the whole thing about him is that his faith and his will that make up his skills are what led him to this reality marble. Personally, I still don’t really like Reality Marbles for Noble Phantasms. I kind of understand how and why its here.
For Mad Enhancement, rather than putting E. You could have just put no rank and mentioned how Protection of Faith and Unyielding Will combined basically make him mad.
A nice, tight, sheet.

.

[Bloble]

Siddhartha Gautama
This is a really solid sheet all around. It properly conveys just how busted Siddhartha is without having to type out anything egregious. Sure, it was probably easier because he's a modification of an existing Servant, but this angle is a good one that fits with his legend. I especially like your two NPs for how each has its own flavour and ties into historical anecdotes. The ball of dirt especially is inspired. I'd personally ask for a bit more in the personality section, perhaps mentioning more of how his experiences in life shaped his world view, but the relationships section nearly makes up for it through implication alone. Buddha fighting Elder Gods with ancient martial arts? Sign me up!

Henry Louis Grin
Those two lines at the beginning of this sheet did more than you might think. By priming the mind for something fantastical, they set up the tone for what's to come. I'm usually not a fan of Berserkers with atypical Mad Enhancement at EX rank, but when they're done well it's impossible to be mad. The myriad of different ways Grin can be read also helps round him out: do you read him as a crazy rampaging moron, or do you read him as a writer-type Servant like Hans and Shakespeare, whose stories target himself instead of others? Admittedly though, Powerless Shell feels a bit superfluous here. You don't need a Skill just to emphasize how weak you are; Andersen certainly didn't. The personality shines through in any case, especially with the double lore sections that managed to leave one more twist right near the end.

Hernán Cortés
Another sheet that very nearly made my top 3. He only fell short due to my personal preference for weird offbeat submissions over expertly designed conventional sheets, because this is exactly what Cortés is. Every bit of this sheet is exactly where it needs to be and I can't find a single flaw in it. The Skills each fit perfectly, and both of the NPs are creative, managing to have a gacha version of GoB that feels earned. Linking the loss of divine protection to the diseases that ravaged the Aztecs while emphasizing the philosophical divide between two different faiths was a stroke of Nasu-ish genius. Your use of quotes was also a smart choice, enhancing the personality and charm of the sheet immensely. I don't have a single nitpick; if this contest were based only on technical mastery of sheet construction, you'd likely come out on top.

Ibn Battuta
I've said most of what I wanted to say when I was distributing points, so I'll just mention here that, of all the sheets I read, Battuta was the only one that instilled in me an urge to go outside and experience life, get lost, find my way into and out of trouble, and after a few years, come back with a story to tell. That's why it eventually won out over over, more technically impressive sheets. The nice justification for why we get a book instead of a Servant helps.

Sir Richard Francis Burton
This sheet has its ups and downs. I like the character you picked, but his justification for being Assassin is a bit weak. You can have sneaky heroes in other Classes, y'know. In fact, I'd have preferred him as a stealth Saber. The lore section is long, riddled with errors, and loses focus quickly. I actually had to skim over it the first time I read this sheet. Justification for rank A Battle Continuation is weak considering the sorts of things that qualify other heroes for it, and his Noble Phantasm might as well have been a skill for all the effect it has.

Mathurin Roze de Chantoiseau
See my vote post.

Marco Polo
For the most part, this sheet is functional but underwhelming. Nothing really jumped out at me; the skills were rather plain and the lore and personality sections were sparse. There is little to no justification for the Class Skills being as high rank as they are, and Terrain Advantage seems rather arbitrary in its effect. The one spot of brightness here is his book NP, which brings to mind Underworld from JJBA.

Saint Helena of Constantinople
Yet another solid sheet. The skills are your strong point here; each is well-justified and fits perfectly. You can really get a sense that Helena is a perfect fit for the Ruler class just through her description. As for the NPs, I like how the first manipulates damage instead of just healing or wounding. It's a way to make a fairly peaceful saint dangerous, too. The nails aren't quite as good a fit, but there's nothing too objectionable. I wish there was a personality section, or perhaps a bit more elaboration on her lore. It would've given this sheet the edge it needed to be on the level of the other highest-tier submissions.

[4score7years]

Ok. Our winners, Bloble and JetKinen, have chosen the following prompt: Animals.

Definitely a lot of places you could take this one, but whatever you do, do it before the morning of Monday, April 23rd, as that's when our voting period begins.

[Criarino]

Can be a folk story monster? Like a mule without head?

[Spartacus]

I got a writer block from the get go

[NMR-3]

Ooh, I think I've got a good idea.