The Beast's Lair Secret Santa Contest! (2017)

[Lianru]

Thank you for the holiday wishes, my holidays were actually wonderful. I got to see a lot of people I didn't usually see, I got the satisfaction of a hard day's work and a had a very nice phone call with my grandmother. My wall of complaint didn't take more than a quarter of an hour after the rest was said and done, a little post before bed, but it's something I felt I had to say while I remembered I wanted to, because if I never said anything, the prompter may not have known people (or a person, rather) were upset. Communication is important. If I were to make something bad and make someone upset, I'd rather they let me know rather than keep their silence and let me do it again.

You say it was rude of me, and you're right. I did write the post in a tone that was very exasperated and unhappy. Because that's exactly how I felt looking at not the worst pool in kirby's contests ever, but by far the laziest. It was rude of me, but also I feel it was rude of them to refuse to spend more than five seconds writing their prompts, where other prompts in the pool have effort and thought poured into them.

You might call it pedantic of me to say a prompt should at least try to give a foothold or spark the imagination. You can call it whatever you want. I'll stand by it. It doesn't even have to be a huge paragraph. It doesn't even need a huge amount of stuff to it. Writing a prompt that can do the aforementioned is not hard, and doesn't truly require more than a sentence. And if you don't have the energy or the will to write three full sentences, perhaps you shouldn't join a writing contest.

You're right, this might get me nowhere, but hey. I got a couple replies. I will let the subject die though. Happy holidays, happy new years if I don't post before then Great job to everyone on the contest, and to those on the wall of shame, well I can only say, uh,

Mooncake where's my damn fic

Your eloquent and well-reasoned posts have drawn me out of BL hibernation.
Now go forth and beat mooncake up and make him write fics for you

[Five_X]

For one, I already have, and will continue to, talk about the fics that I read.

For two, there's nothing wrong with wanting to see an outline, an excuse, anything about the stories you were promised in exchange for your hard work.

You're alright, don't come to BL tomorrow.

Others though...

[SeiKeo]

oh good, school shooter jokes

[You]

I like that you specified no hetero when I was already sent into a void of thought by what could have been the legendary two word prompt. Still, no context, no possible actions, no timeframe, no, uh, anything at all actually. Just "write ciel."

Someone please be truthful with me. Did anyone read this prompt, or the other above, and get smitten with inspiration? Did it spark your imagination?

Is this a good prompt, can someone defend this?

I asked some friends and like 3 out of 3 of them said Ciel playing with an animal, which I'm pretty sure isn't even the kind of fluff that was intended. It's still admirable, considering they had nothing to work with, but the fact this was so nothing that it led to the generic idea of "cute girl aimlessly playing with animal" off of three different people should be a statement.

Not a great prompt but two ideas I like for that are

1. Ciel falling in love with tea ceremony in the Burial Agency HQ. Serves as a prequel to why she joined the Tea Ceremony Club.
2. Going along with the animal thing. Ciel meeting Nanako for the first time.

I guess it did spark my imagination.

[SpoonyViking]

I should actually rewrite that at some point

I know what you mean! I still owe Sesto a full fic for the Tanabata Exchange. I'm half-afraid it's my fault he didn't deliver his fic this time!

[Bird of Hermes]

I know what you mean! I still owe Sesto a full fic for the Tanabata Exchange. I'm half-afraid it's my fault he didn't deliver his fic this time!

I hereby vow to at least make A Start by the end of the year.

[Sesto]

I know what you mean! I still owe Sesto a full fic for the Tanabata Exchange. I'm half-afraid it's my fault he didn't deliver his fic this time!

Don't be, my failure to deliver was entirely my fault. I just grew too frustrated with my inability to get anywhere and couldn't write anymore. Which is a shame since the prompts I got were pretty good.

I do want to eventually finish it though.

[Kirby]

Please do. About eighty percent of the purpose of these contests is just to get people to write more things in general, so as long as people get something in eventually, and have their fics written, I'll be happy

[Akyuu]

tfw no one wrote the medb kiara slut out prompt

[SpoonyViking]

Apropos of nothing, Kirby's new avatar is so cute!

[Draconic]

I'm gonna hold out hope that someone will eventually do the prompt about Sion in an At the Mountains of Madness style cosmic horror with Solomon's/Goetia's journal.

I never knew such a concept could exist until a few months ago, but I quickly came to realize it's all I ever wanted.

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Also, I agree with Nacho the Doritosedge completely, but at the same time, cannot deny that he is 100% in the wrong here due to poor timing, and as he said himself, being pedantic.

[Polly]

Maybe if Nacho said something over all the months before the deadline I would've gotten a more concrete idea about the prompts. :' )

[SpoonyViking]

The funny thing is that people did comment on how sparse Prompt 9's descriptions were, they just used a much friendlier tone - as in, "Don't be afraid to be greedy and ask for more!", if I recall it correctly.

[Snow]

Okay, to start from the beginning.

Props to Blood for Beasts for managing to pack quite a visual punch in its relatively brief package.

[Dullahan]

b e g i n

Blood for Beasts (FROM Software, 2017)

Up to the point where the term 'Dead Apostle' appears - reads like the fan-translated prologue to a light novel written by a Carlo Zen imitator. Thereafter - much the same, actually, with the necessary adjustments concerning use of TM copyrights. Theoretical musing on nature of conflict between human societies doesn't add a whole lot and could probably be done without. The meme version of the Crusades (particularly #3) being the chivalrous worthy-opponent Walter Scott affair it is - and considering that this is TM, where meme history is the only relevant kind - that man-vs-man is qualitatively different from man-vs-beast could be done in a more subtle way. Generally nice imagery. Best by far is insects crawling through visor-holes in armour; that's quite powerful. Giant enemy crabs are a nice if old meme but can't really match visceral horror of being swarmed/invaded etc. Minor formal quibbles. E.g. Middle Eastern should be capitalised, maybe hyphenated if that's your kink. Mind you, term is anachronistic (not that this is the only anachronism - refer to 'smack dab in the middle' in final line - I get that you're going for bathos there, but does it need to sound like someone's dad telling a story about bowling a mate out in a weekend cricket match?) and you'd be better off with Levant, Outremer, Orient, Palestine, or what-have you. Too many 'agains' in that second-to-last paragraph. We get the point after one or two. A Crusader knight by definition would be a man of rank, and to describe him as 'from the pastures' gives the wrong impression. Certainly he could be from the countryside, but the whole point of being hereditary military aristocracy is that you don't have to trouble yourself with pastures. And so on. Finally: the battle takes place in a highly abstract setting - beyond it being somewhere in the desert we know nothing, not even if it's day or night - and the polarisation between this level of abstraction (i.e. you are putting forward a notional generalised Crusade battle, as it were a condensation of your theoretical discourse on conflict rather than a specific event from which the theoretical musings are derived organically in the narration) and the highly visceral detail employed in detailing NRVNQSR's attack seems to be to the story's detriment. Frankly it's a jarring discontinuity. To resolve it, either you settle on a bias one way or the other - abstract philosophising or blood & guts - or add some new element which can mediate between the two. Perhaps the person of an in-universe narrator?

I would rate this fic.

[Dullahan]

I'm Gomenasorry - sumimascuse me, I don't wakarunderstand

The progressive bastardisation of the Assassin class container is a microcosm of the structural transformation in Fate as a whole. The rules were already being broken back in 2004; now they have ceased to operate. It is inappropriate to speak of a particular point at which Fate became bad. Rather we should understand that the seeds of badness present in the original work have now blossomed and borne fruit. It is telling that even in comedic scenarios the idea of the situation being in any way redressed is unthinkable. The humour is built around Hassan's enclosure within a horizon of predestined failure. The author's bold decision to end the story suddenly, without conclusion, constitutes a radicalisation of this enclosure. In the age of FGO, Hassan does not even get given the chance to try. He remains trapped within Chaldea, as are we all. If we can laugh at this, it is because laughing at our own destitution is the only kind we are now capable of. In summary, nice meme.

I rate this a pile of back issues of Sensible Chuckle magazine found in someone's garage.

[SeiKeo]

I'm Gomenasorry - sumimascuse me, I don't wakarunderstand

The progressive bastardisation of the Assassin class container is a microcosm of the structural transformation in Fate as a whole. The rules were already being broken back in 2004; now they have ceased to operate. It is inappropriate to speak of a particular point at which Fate became bad. Rather we should understand that the seeds of badness present in the original work have now blossomed and borne fruit. It is telling that even in comedic scenarios the idea of the situation being in any way redressed is unthinkable. The humour is built around Hassan's enclosure within a horizon of predestined failure. The author's bold decision to end the story suddenly, without conclusion, constitutes a radicalisation of this enclosure. In the age of FGO, Hassan does not even get given the chance to try. He remains trapped within Chaldea, as are we all. If we can laugh at this, it is because laughing at our own destitution is the only kind we are now capable of. In summary, nice meme.

I rate this a pile of back issues of Sensible Chuckle magazine found in someone's garage.

Doko Da.

[Dullahan]

Horny Pole Dancer Seeks Big Black Stripper's Veiny Throbbing Spear (18+) - SWF DTF

An expert fulfilment of the prompt - a little rough around the edges, but clearly constructed by a writer with an inventive eye for metaphor. Nothing but praise for this tale of mortal conflict. Biological imperatives taken to extremes operate in defiance of biology itself: is this not precisely what is suggested by the confluence of eros and thanatos? Is it a cautionary tale, as if to tell us that in pursuit of excessive pleasure and sweetness we may only come to pain? Or an exploration of heroic self-abnegation, self-obliteration - in defense of the joyful harmony of the hive the protagonist drives itself into the silence at the edge of life? Either way, the battle of bee against bear is a sublime invocation of themes of futility, death, sacrifice, yet underpinned by honey-sweet desire. One could easily imagine it as a symbolic motif from some antique codex of moral instruction. The only flaw I can name is the lengthy passage of anime bullshit that follows.

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昇華潜熱 Shouka Sen'netsu - The Exhibited Atrocity

Dislike it intensely. Clearly the product of an overindulged mind with far more envy/admiration for Ballard than skill to match him. Needlessly inflated vocabulary cannot ameliorate this. A gifted child whose development was stunted at age fourteen, irretrievably dependent on adults telling him how clever he is.

[SeiKeo]

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昇華潜熱 Shouka Sen'netsu - The Exhibited Atrocity

Dislike it intensely. Clearly the product of an overindulged mind with far more envy/admiration for Ballard than skill to match him. Needlessly inflated vocabulary cannot ameliorate this. A gifted child whose development was stunted at age fourteen, irretrievably dependent on adults telling him how clever he is.

honestly same

[Dullahan]

fuck me, an actual serious fic

I'll do great beauty tomorrow