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Thread: Fate/Stay night: Heaven's Absolution

  1. #1
    屍食鬼 Ghoul Siege's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Barcelona, Spain

    Fate/Stay night: Heaven's Absolution

    Chapter 0: The same hell, another savior

    A raging fire.

    Flames so high that the sky itself was painted with red.

    The ground, too, was drenched in the color of blood. That goes without saying. A murky, darkened blood.

    The river of death flowed through the city, burning the earth, buildings and humans. After losing its physical form, the contents were poured into the land of Fuyuki. Now, that sea of flames, that man-made hell, viciously devoured the world, drenching it in crimson.

    But the mass of destruction wasn't absolute: There were beings who withstood the surge of annihilation, individuals who survived that hell by sheer power, skill or simply luck.

    One of those survivors was desperately clinging to his life, or rather, to his most primal instinct.

    "I don't want to die."

    Yeah, that boy no longer had a life to beg for, therefore, the only thing he could do was cling to that little something.

    The simple wish to survive, the purest part of the human soul.

    In another iteration, maybe the long forgotten gods interceded for him.

    Maybe fate rewarded the boy's unyielding spirit with a caring father or a dream to cling onto.

    But, this time, the only thing destiny reserved for that boy was a laugh.

    A sincere, heartless laugh that found a great rejoice in the unfolding tragedy.

    The one responsible of that cruel and pure sound was questioned by a second voice.

    "Looks like a baby mongrel survived amidst the flames."

    "Oh, I see."

    Even with his senses cloaked by the pain and the smoke, the boy could still feel that the owners of the two voices were exact opposites.

    The first voice spoke with the majesty and ruthlessness of a tyrant, as someone who experienced all the joy that both earth and heavens could offer.

    Was that tragic spectacle just another fruit that the golden emperor would devour for his amusement?

    Yet, despite his lack of radiance, the voice that captivated the heart of the boy was the second one.

    That empty, hoarsed voice that denied everything.

    The boy never asked himself how the voice of a corpse would sound like, but now he was sure of it, it would be exactly like the voice of that man.

    The voice of a man who never experienced any pleasure.

    Yet, that man was definitely laughing a moment before. That man-made hell was without a doubt a pleasurable sight for the emotionless human.

    What kind of contradictions existed within that man's heart? The nameless boy wanted to know.

    He wanted to know... If this hell had any meaning.

    If his tragedy had any meaning.

    Like an act of divine providence, their gazes met.

    The nameless boy looked at the dead eyes of Kotomine Kirei.

    The priest looked at the empty eyes of the agonizing child.

    "Boy, are you in pain?"

    The priest asked the question without a thought. It was a natural instinct, the pre-fabricated response of a man who spent his years faking that he cared about others.

    "Yes" Faintly replied the boy.

    "I see, but that's good, it means you're not dead yet."

    The child began to process what the priest just said.

    His pain... Was good? The feeling of his lungs burning and his skin sliced by debris... Was good?

    At the same time, the priest asked himself a question.

    "What the hell am I doing?"

    Just a second before, he clearly thought about killing the boy.

    He wished to put an end to his miserable life. That tiny, pathetic human that was closer to a corpse wasn't even funny to watch.

    Then, why?

    Why did the hand that ended countless lives suddenly became so stiff?

    Then, he looked back at the boy's face.

    "Ah, I see, those eyes." Muttered the master of Archer in his usual, emotionless tone.

    It was a sight the priest was familiar with. He looked at the same eyes countless times, always looking back at him with disdain.

    That cruel, yet hateless stare that denied not only himself, but everything that this world had to offer. The boy had the same eyes Kotomine Kirei saw in the mirror every day.

    "Boy, do you want to live? Your life has been destroyed, your future sent ablaze by a force beyond your control. The senseless, cruel destiny has stolen everything away from you. This meaningless tragedy is the true nature of the world you live in. Still, even in front of the gates of hell, this mechanical mind of yours will refuse to shut down, right?"

    "Perhaps that soul and body of yours were made of iron instead of blood and flesh."

    "Tell me, lost lamb, do you want to live?"

    In response, the boy stretched his hand towards the crimson sky and, by extension, towards the head of the man who found him among the debris.

    And, in a way that he couldn't notice due to Kotomine Kirei's location, towards the hole in the sky from which the mud rained down on Fuyuki.

    A second later, the boy consciousness went to sleep. Now that he found a shelter in the arms of the priest, the boy's senses began to shut down one after another.

    Yet, before everything went black, he heard it one more time.

    That laugh, which denied everything, sacred and profane.

    The laugh of a man who found beauty in death, a laugh that reassured even the devil itself.

    The laugh of a man who would bear no prejudice, who would see everything in existence to it's very end.

    A pure sound that accepted everything, that placed emotion over responsibility.

    Pleasure over duty.

    Humanity over heroes.


    The golden-haired heroic spirit looked at the scene, his lips contorted into something that could pass as a smile. He wanted to see what his pupil would do with his newfound joy, but the outcome of the events surpassed even the expectations of the primordial king.

    "What is this, Kotomine? A present to your king? But this lowly being is not worth the king's judgment." Replied Archer, infuriated "Flames are a much more appropriate tool to dispose of trash. Let him burn in a place where his cinders won't stain my garden."

    "I'm afraid this child is something that I have plundered from your garden for myself, King of Heroes." The golden Servant made an infuriated stare. Despite finding him entertaining, there were limits on how much insolence he was willing to tolerate.

    "Calling yourself a thief in front of the king, usually such insolence would be rewarded with a swift death, Kotomine." The blood-colored eyes looked one more time at the burning city. The superhuman senses of Archer could still feel some lives being swallowed by the flames "But I guess larceny is a suitable occupation for someone who has brought the flames of heaven to the mortals."

    Gilgamesh made a faint laugh. In the end, this fake that couldn't even be called war bringed him so much amusement. A king should be open-handed with those loyal to him from time to time.

    "Stealing from my garden is a capital crime, Kotomine, but a fool who can rid the king of his boredom deserves at least a little reward." The king focused his senses to the world beyond the flames "There are too many of your kind in this era anyway, my garden will do just fine with a few less of them plundering around. Anyway, I'm interested in watching how you, who can only destroy, will create a new life for that mutt."

    The primeval tyrant dictated his sentence. The boy's life would be spared by his grace, and become an instrument to bring further joy to the king.

    "So, how are you going to call the little mongrel?"

    "True, I will need a name for him..." The priest pondered for a while, thinking a suitable name for the existence that was resting in his arms.

    The existence that he could crush at any moment.

    "Oh, I've found a good one."

    "State it." Ordered the king.

    "The name of the one who was closer to becoming a Saint in Asia. A pious man who devoted his entire existence to save humans and, in the end, lost everything due to the nature of the humanity he loved so much."

    "The child's name shall be Shirou Kotomine."

    Well, I came back with another fate fic, hope you like it ^^'

    My idea is to tell the story of a fifth holy grail war in which Shirou was adopted by Kotomine Kirei instead of Kiritsugu. I'm sure it must have been done lots of times, but I thought I would give it a try at least.

    Also, the main characters have suffered serious changes due to the fact that Kiritsugu couldn't adopt Shirou, which made Sakura, Rin and Illya's lives quite different. It will be shown in the next chapters, so please be looking forward to it ^^'

    Also, there will be some changes in the masters/servants who are summoned in this war (Because of Shirou don't having Avalon, stuff that happened to the Einzeberns and Makiri, etc).

    I'll try to post the next chapter soon! (It's about lllya's life)
    Last edited by Siege; February 13th, 2018 at 01:51 PM.
    The turtle moves!

  2. #2
    屍食鬼 Ghoul Gamez4life's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    In a hot, hot, desert.
    Well although the premise is good, there are some grammical errors, such as the fact that some quotes have ends with ? I don't see those with . anywhere at all as those speaking quotes just have nothing to end it with.

  3. #3
    リビングデッド Living Dead
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    Jul 2017
    Wilmette, IL, USA
    Interesting. I like the writing on this one.

    ...and now I miss Tainted Ideals.

  4. #4
    屍食鬼 Ghoul Siege's Avatar
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    Barcelona, Spain
    Chapter 1: Snow and blood

    The little girl was having a dream.

    An unpleasant one, to be sure: Seven lights surrounded her, burning like blood-soaked stars. Her body was being set ablaze: It hurt, it hurt, it hurt...

    Then, she woke up, her silver hair drenched with cold sweat. The little girl forced her raging heart to calm down.

    She was used to such visions, after all. It was her fate.

    The fate of a homunculus designed to host the Holy Grail inside her.

    The fate of an expendable life whose sole purpose was to serve as fuel for the never-ending greed of mankind.

    Yet, she never hated her cruel fate. If she were to describe her emotions towards her imminent future, rage or sadness would never cross her mind.

    How could she hate it, when said fate brought her so many beautiful memories?

    For a "senseless existence" like her, whose original purpose was to act as an emotionless wish-maker, it was truly a precious, priceless life.

    Getting the chance to experience the love of a mother, the warmth of a father...

    Experiencing what it meant to have a family, to have someone who would care about you not as a tool, but as a living being.

    Yeah, Illyasviel Emiya von Einzbern was truly grateful for the life the gods bestowed upon her.

    If she had a complain about it, it would probably be about how little time she had to enjoy such feelings. Now, even the few remaining days she could spend at the Emiya residence felt too short.

    Well, no point in crying over spilled milk. She still had many beautiful memories that no one could take away from her, that would suffice.

    And she had a duty to fulfill, too.

    Well, not exactly a duty. After all, her father never wanted to impose such burden on the shoulders of the silver-haired girl. Not that she thought about it as an oath either.

    Maybe promise was a more precise word.

    The promise that she would stop the Holy Grail War.

    With far more energy than a little girl should have, she tossed apart the sheets and ran to the kitchen, where the breakfast was already served, looking almost edible. The burnt crisps were like a signature of Taiga's cooking, and one of the few things that separated it from attempted poisoning. She would thank her later, anyway. After all, she cooked for her, and even tried to clean up the kitchen afterwards.

    Illyasviel (Or Illya, as Taiga called her) finished her plate and began to clean the house, which could be summed up as a lost war between the little girl and the battlefield that, probably around 8 o'clock, could still be called a kitchen. Taiga's attempts to tidy the room only made things worse, but well, at least she tried, and the burnt marks would probably go away after a few hours of cleaning... Probably.

    Illyasviel proceeded to clean everything with mechanical efficiency. In less than two hours, every spot of the house was practically shinning, and even the scorched marks seemed to have a little decency, going away without making much of a fuss. Now, the snow-like homunculus had all the time in the world to make the preparations for the ritual and put things with her classmates in order.

    Well, she already had everything she needed for the summoning, and there was not much to put in order anyway. Taiga called and told her teachers that Illya wasn't feeling very good, and that she would probably need to spend some days at home. Two days already passed, and she could extend it for another two or three. After that, well... Maybe getting scolded wouldn't be her most important problem.

    So she decided to spend the rest of the day with Taiga.

    It wasn't the first time she went to Taiga's school, and in fact most of the teachers knew Illya by her name now. She usually caused some ruckus within the class, but Taiga's lectures weren't exactly peaceful anyway.

    She arrived at lunch break, so the place was full of noise and people. Illya liked that. After spending half of her life inside the walls of the castle, surrounded by homunculus, she liked the company of humans. They were lively, usually making a ruckus for even the smallest details, while the creations of the Einzbern were always mechanical and, to put it into words, way too perfect. In comparison humans were clumsy, silly and even sometimes flat out stupid, but she liked it. No, she enjoyed it. For someone who was supposed to be a perfect being, their little everyday conflicts were like a treasure. They were something worth fighting for.

    Above the noise, a conversation picked up Illya's interest. Two students were talking to a third one. Well, to be more precise, a female student was interrogating a male one while a third was watching them, emotionless.

    "What happened to Sakura?" Asked the female one, in a voice that implied that an unsatisfactory answer would likely end in something that would make the Apocalypse look like a child's game "Why hasn't she come to school today?"

    "For the tenth time, that arrogant bitch wasn't feeling well this weekend, so she decided to stay home for a few days!" The man shivered, his body jumping to avoid a kick that had too much strength for the thin legs of the black-haired girl, catching the attention of the nearby students "Ah! Have you gone mad? Emiya, stop her!"

    The third student replied with an indifferent look, shrugging his shoulders. Illya quickly recognized them.

    Matou Shinji, Tohsaka Rin, Kotomine Shirou.

    Then, a chill ran through her spine.

    The one who hadn't uttered a word was looking in her direction, his colorless eyes piercing through Illya's tiny body.

    He wasn't looking at her with hatred or malice, not even joy or curiosity. His stare was empty.

    The emotion that those eyes held was far beyond indifference. It didn't just pierce her, it passed through her with ease, like a knife would pass through empty space.

    Then, the emotionless face contorted into a condescending smile. His eyes closed for a second, becoming full of something that could be called compassion.

    "Tohsaka, stop. It's obvious that he didn't have anything to do with Sakura's absence, he's just too coward to do anything to her." Bluntly stated the red-haired boy "Anyway, looks like we have a lost child over here."

    Using the distraction, Shinji escaped Rin's reach, running through the confussed students. She sighted.

    "You know that he's up to nothing good, right?" Muttered the black-haired girl, annoyed.

    "Let him be. Getting labeled as bullies doesn't help us either, right? Anyway, we should take this child to miss Taiga's class." Replied the boy, walking towards the silver-haired doll.

    And then, Illya saw it.

    A gentle smile, full of sincerity and good intentions, and a firm yet friendly hand stretching towards her.

    "Hi Illya! do you want to see miss Taiga?"

    The voice of the boy was calid and peaceful, his whole being irradiating a goodness that most saints could never achieve.

    He was like a warm sun, attracting everyone towards him, as they comfortably danced across his orbit.

    It wasn't the first time she saw that man. He was sometimes in Taiga's class, almost always looking at the window with a bored expression, but this was her first time talking to him, to that person who looked full of sincerity and good intentions. If she hadn't met his stare before, she would be wondering how someone like Kirei could raise a boy that looked so ordinary, but now she knew the truth about him.

    About the fake known as Kotomine Shirou.


    The fog began to gradually fade.

    In the center of the circle, an imposing figure was standing, waiting for orders. Opposing him were only two human beings: A young woman and an old man.

    Both had crimson stigmas carved in their right hands.

    The woman raised hers, with a dim light still emanating from the seals, showing the creature her authority. It made a reverence, acknowledging her.

    "It's perfect, grandfather." She expressed her satisfaction, while the old man simply smiled.

    "Yes, with both Berserker and my Servant, the Grail will finally descend upon the Makiri household, as it should've rightfully done centuries ago."

    "Oh, but wasn't it due to your own incompetence during the previous wars that we haven't obtained the Grail yet, gramps?" Taunted the girl with a sardonic smile.

    "I won't tolerate such impudence a second time, Sakura." Replied the old man, killing instinct emanating from every ounce of his body. Sensing the danger to the one in charge of the Command Spells, Berserker's prana began to accelerate, taking the form of blood-drenched lightning, only to be stopped by Sakura's sheer pressure.

    "Just kidding, guess I felt a bit too euphoric after summoning my Servant." Replied the purple-haired girl, tossing the old man a faint smile "But you should take caution too, gramps. Berserker is really difficult to control, and who knows how it could react to a threat to it's master."

    After launching her veiled threat, Sakura began to walk towards the armored warrior, anxious to test the limits of the skills of the Servant she summoned. A few steps back, Zouken couldn't help but remember how different things were in the fourth war.

    Kariya was the exact opposite of the Tohsaka's discarded child. While he was just a spoiled brat with no talent, she was a genuine prodigy which far exceeded anyone in the last iterations of the Makiri. He molded her, turning the once innocent girl into the greatest weapon at his disposal. In return, her whole life became just a tool for the old man to use. Without external interferences, she had grown into the perfect heir for Zouken.

    The dark queen of the Makiri.

    Sometimes, the old man wondered if she taught her far too well. Recently, even she was beginning to grow out of his control. Giving her the Berserker class was in fact his own attempt to hinder her, in case she decided to turn against him. The ridiculous prana consumption of the mad warrior should at least hinder her abilities a little, until she became a pure vessel that not even himself could control anymore.

    Well, if things came to worst, he had already prepared a counter-measure. It couldn't be helped, he didn't outlive Nagato and Justeaze by growing attached to others.

    For the time being, he was satisfied with the results, at least partially. The servants his heirs summoned recently tended to have the annoying ability to hide their true natures, so the old man couldn't see anything about the silver-clad warrior's skills, although he could sense that they were of the highest class. Well, he could let others find out more about Sakura's Servant once the battles began. In fact, he would make sure that they had at least a taste of that cursed broadsword, coated in a suffocating bloodlust.

    And so, the fifth Servant of the war was summoned.

    Well, the first chapter of the war, hope you like it ^^'

    Also, I had no idea of the existence of Tainted Ideals prior to the beginning of this fic, but after reading it I must say two things:

    1) It's fucking great.

    2) There are a few similarities between between how some characters developed in the two (Which I'd say are logical conclusions of what would happen if Kirei adopted Shirou ^^'). The most noticeables are Shirou and Rin's being closer, as they trained together, and Kiritsugu saving Illya from the Einzeberns. There's a third one comming, probably in the next three or four chapters, but I think (And hope) that this fic gains a personailty on it's own.

    Nothing more to say, the next chapter shoud be on Sunday with a little luck ^^'

    Last edited by Siege; February 20th, 2018 at 10:42 AM.
    The turtle moves!

  5. #5
    屍食鬼 Ghoul Gamez4life's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    In a hot, hot, desert.
    Pretty good, however there are some mistakes in this. Expandable is I believe expendable while you also did 'warm' instead of warmth, and finally of what I care to notice anymore is you spelled person wrong.

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