Well it was Valentines Day earlier so I'm reviving something I did for /Reclamation like a year ago. So because Reiu mentioned it to me in the Quest Thread and I'm doing it with another Quest instead of my own, I hereby present:
Hermes 100% Accurate & Totally Non-Biased Datability Readings - Part 1: Humans
Javier Lucero
A Main Character in a Fate series always has discourse, look no further than Shirou or Sieg. However, Javier is a good contender for boyfriend material depending on your types.
+ He's not the kind of person to sit around & do nothing so he'll keep you active whether it be his wanderlust taking him (and you) out on long breaks to places you haven't been, romantic walks in the woods or just giving you a book you weren't expecting to enjoy.
+ Good with his hands so he'll always be able to help out around the house if you need him, whether it be kitchen work or fixing the car.
+/- He's eager and he's always on the hunt for more, whether it be knowledge of magecraft or what have you. Depending on the situation it may be seen as an inability to commit to something but it's always better to be kept on your toes than to just sit inside and watch re-runs of The Big Bang Theory all day long. After all
- Maria might be jelly if you try to make a move
Overall ranking
8/10
Maria Westinghouse
Main GirlTM and Demi-Servant so naturally she's going to get a lot of attention.
+ Energetic, positive and confident which is something we all need.
+ Quite a constructive person, will try and help people before putting her own needs first. Unless it's punching Nazi's but frankly who can blame her.
+/- Sometimes a little too direct. Will turn you down pretty bluntly if she's not into you, also not into girls so you'll get no luck here ladies. However it's better to be blunt than be coddled.
- Needs to think things through a little bit more before saying/doing them.
Overall ranking
7.5/10
Ricardo Scherer
Hello Mandatory Priest/Holy Figure in a Fate instalment.
+ Always trying to help people and someone everyone can look up to. A true pillar of his community.
+ Tough Silver Fox (If that's you cup of tea)
- As an older priest always helping people he may not always have time for himself or you
- Smokes
Overall ranking
6/10
Mr & Mrs Drake
A recently married couple but you may get a chilly reception due to one getting something of a cold shoulder.
-They're married you homewrecker.
-The kind of insufferably soppy and cute couple in public you can be around with friends but can't be with alone because things will get awkward. For you.
Overall ranking
0/10 However if you're trying to get with both of them at the same time 10/10
Sakura Edelfelt
Best Girl of the Main Three heroines of the original Stay Night visual novel. I will fight you on this.
+ Cute
+ Confident
+ Best main girl from Stay Night (RIP the Caster and Rider routes that never were) who has grown and developed since then which is a delight to see after HF.
+ Pro Wrestler so she can and will suplex you.
+ A bit of a flirt but will stop if you're not interested, she'll try her luck but will respect your boundaries which is frankly better than what I've gotten of most people.
+/- She's a married woman, although she might be open to having someone else warm her bed and says Luvia won't mind...
- I don't think the beating you get from Luvia will be worth it. Then again if you had to pick a way to go I can think of a number of worse ways.
Overall ranking
?/10
Let me know if I missed anyone.
Well, one month later...
Hermes 100% Accurate & Totally Non-Biased Datability Readings - Part 2: Servants
Saver
Hard to pin them down. It's difficult to tell as so far from what we've seen it's been Maria using Saver's powers. Once we see and speak with them I'll be able to form a proper opinion. So far it's just been a desire to smash certain things but frankly that could go either way.
Overall ranking
X/10
Herald of Fimbulwinter
Doggo? Either way she loud, demanding and hungry. Hangry might be a better word. We've had minimal interactions but they've been colourful
+Mostly well behaved with her own sense and sensabilities
-Is a picky eater and won't eat her god damn veggies
-Temper tantrums that may break your collarbones
3/10
Would be higher if she didn't act out like a two year old.
Rider of the 4th Reich
Nazi's? In my fantasy-survival quest? It's more likely than you think.
-A Nazi
-Literally a fucking Nazi.
-1000/10
Well Maria would probably consider beating him to a bloody mess in an alleyway as a successful date so there's that I guess?
Lancer of the Black Sun
The obligatory good-looking Lancer of any Fate instalment.
+Pretty boy (I'm more of the stereotypical white haired pretty boy kinda person like Karna and Bedivere but you can't deny it's there)
+Confident but not arrogant, knows that he has his limits
+Willing to show respect to an enemy, even if they're in a SMASH NOW mentality.
-We've only seen him trying to fight and kill us
A tentative 6/10, potential is there but I want to see more of him outside of trying to kick our teeth in before I give absolute judgement.
Avenger of the Black Sun
To be honest i'm not sure at all.
?/10
- - - Updated - - -
If I missed any it's because they're not in the OP and I'm tired.
There's always the chance that someone (Oliver, Fiore, etc.) drags Sakura to safety while Javier firebombs the goons, but the only person dragging Liria anywhere if she even survives without attention are the Nazis.
and 3. Go Back for Sakura and retreat to (the Drakes' basement (Preferably along with this Mysterious New Girl))
As I recall, Fiore's a doctor now, and Sakura currently has a deadly toxin killing her, and she may not be aware of it. She needs a checkup, stat.
Last edited by Draconic; March 22nd, 2019 at 03:00 PM.
Likes attention, shiny objects, and... a ball of yarn?
F/GO Supports
I joined two years too late...
Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok
That makes me think of Rin as a loan shark.
Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok
Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.
Vicious claws meet the flat of Maria’s blade. Quickly, she revolves around the creature to make sure it has its back to the unknown woman. She breathes heavily, the blows she stops surprisingly harsh despite nothing having changed at first glance. The delirious speed of the dance is a thing of the past; her breathing is heavy and irregular, matching her growing…desperation? Frustration? At not being able to turn the tide of battle. The Uridimmu is intelligent enough to realize it has the initiative. Its aggressiveness carries tactical intent; this is no mere beast aiming to rip out her throat, but a wily warrior viciously seeking a way around her unskilled defense.
Maria almost fails to notice the creature going deathly stiff.
“Wha—? Ah!”
The transition from full defense to attack is clumsy and an instant too slow. The sword cuts through flesh, but the ancient creature regains control of its body and leaps away in a desperate burst of speed and power, putting up considerable distance.
“Fuck!” she hisses. The woman yells something, but Maria is not paying attention.
She could have ended it right then and there. Yes, she has dealt a significant wound, to the point she can assure herself of her eventual victory, but…!
She is taking too long. How is Sakura doing? What happened to Javier and Assassin? Every second she wastes on this creature could spell someone’s death.
“Javier—!”
Heat.
Heat like it should not be possible in this frozen city. A surge of heat rushes uphill and flows around and past her.
The unknown woman has already made it to Sakura, and struggles to pull her up. Further beyond her, where Javier, Assassin and the other monsters should be, there is only fire.
*** ***
Character Status
Health: Good Sustenance: Good Warmth: Optimal Stamina: Good Regression Level 2 Magic circuits active. Sthūla-Śarīra active.
I am Javier Lucero.
But, right now, I am more.
There is a mournful song in the chilly wind. There is a low hum in the concrete beneath me. Perception that ignores the five senses tells me the world is more. This godless hill, long smothered beneath the trappings of human civilization, has been stirred awake by the clash of powers outside the Human Order. Things I understood vaguely become clearer in my conscious mind, and things I completely ignored are now taking shape within.
Reach out to me. Return the World to its proper place.
I don’t know anything about “the proper place of the World”, but I’ll take you up on your offer.
It feels almost too natural, like I should always have been able to do this.
I don’t need to turn my head to notice the scorpion man’s approach—it has so many legs, its skittering steps are like maddening drums on the ground.
Spread for me.
It only takes a tap on the wet ground. My hand is dirtied by the muddy slosh the snow has become, but it is my will and my magical energy that spread into the ground, which obediently does as told.
The scorpion man stumbles as two of its right legs sink in the crack on the pavement my will has opened. Its stinger flails off its mark, crossing the space right above my head. The Cherufe (?) is truly trampling its way forward; I don’t know what that outrage earlier was, but its very presence does feel like an affront somehow.
I don’t like it.
Like the snow capping the peak of Villarica; water, become one with me.
A second tap later, the street between myself and the approaching rock spirit is completely dry and devoid of snow and slush.
I remember the Maid; a detail she briefly brought up when talking about my magecraft.
“To separate that which is bound together. To change stillness into movement. To give to that which lacks and take from that which has. That is the nature of your magecraft, and that is the shape you must give to your divine seed, if you wish to make it truly yours.”
This is it. This must have been what she meant. Otherwise it would not feel so natural.
The frozen water and melted snow have both become vapor in the air, and that vapor has now become its split elements.
The air has become inflammable.
Let fire reign.
I waste not a moment while both inhuman creatures are wrapped in the flames of my sovereignty over this hill. I (hope I) will have time to think back on the fact that what I am doing right now is not magecraft.
A brief glance in Sakura’s direction; some unknown woman is carrying (well, more like dragging) her away into the Drake residence. Good. Maria’s still involved with the other creature.
I run away from them, into the flames. Immersed in a world of fire that I know will not harm me, I sneak away from the two creatures crashing into each other and hurry in the direction I saw Assassin being flung away to, a rather wrecked house…
*** ***
“Ow…
que cagada
what a fuck up
…”
Assassin of the Black Sun—Liria to her friends—complains at the ache in her back and her right side. She rests seated—or rather slumped—on the floor, back leaning against the cracked wall furthest from the house’s entrance. She guesses she should be grateful this wall managed to stop her flight for once. Heck, she should be grateful being flung through a wall has not killed her in the first place. Perhaps being a pseudo-Servant has spoiled her a bit too much.
She hears steps both above her and right outside, but she really needs a moment or two longer before she can even think of moving. Apparently, she does not have that luxury.
“Ah, right, I guess I’m under arrest.”
It is obvious by now that she has concealed Javier’s existence and connection to Maria to the Fourth Reich. Not only that, she very visibly acted to protect him. Her plan was to rely on her Presence Concealment and lay low for a while, but then Javier had to go and do stupid shit.
“Oh man, this is gonna suck…”
It is an understatement to say the least, but morbid humor is the only thing she has left as the soldiers loom closer to seize her…
The air roars, and a surge of heat fills the interior of the residence when the street outside is engulfed in flames. Heat, roaring flames and ground tremors startle the constructs, devised with human reactions in spite of their artificial nature.
A Servant is not that limited.
A monstrous left hand grabs the nearest soldiers’ masked head, and she needs to do nothing else. The soldier shudders and struggles in Assassin’s grip, incapable of giving voice to its desperation because it cannot emit any sound at all. In that time, a bare, slender leg pops out of the cloak long enough to strike the gut of a second soldier, superhuman strength blowing it away and into the wall next to the main entrance they came from, now wrapped in flames.
Then, a new person, a person that should not be there, appears under the doorframe. Looking through the gaps between the soldiers, her eyes meet Javier’s, and the boiling frustration at his utter lack of prudence clashes fiercely with the thought that he actually has come to aid her.
The third and last soldier is about to act.
“Javi—”
“Lily!” he cries out, concern visible on his admittedly handsome face.
I’m not exactly sure what just happened, but the soldier that was standing between us a moment earlier is now breaking apart into nondescript black dust, which itself scatters into nothingness. She moved that fast, lashing out at the soldier like a demonic storm.
While the firestorm still rages outside, perhaps fed by the Cherufe’s (?) own flames by this point, I finally get to take a proper look at the Servant Maria calls Assassin…Liria Colhuán.
Wait, what did I call her just…why did I call…?
“Ugh, gaaah…!”
There it is, that unbelievable headache again…! Fuck, it’s like a xenomorph wants to burst out of my skull!
Warning! Status Change
Magic circuits forcefully deactivated by severe mental stress.
My knees hit the floor as tears escape my eyes unbidden. Not that I care, I just want to roll over and die, fuck!“Ah, Javier…” The young woman, Liria—fuck, just thinking the name is a spike of pain!—crawls over to me, pulling me away from the door and closer to her—
“
Agh, que mierda
Agh, shit
…” She murmurs as I empty the contents of my stomach, almost pouring them on her lap. One of those arms tries to reach for my back, but I just swat it away without hesitation. I have to.
It’s those arms: hairy and reeking of rot and carrion, which elicit physical revulsion in me. Taking a proper look at them, they look like a fly’s legs, only ending in fingers with vicious red claws attached to them. Noticing me staring, the girl sheepishly hides them beneath her filthy cloak.
“Uh, um, sorry about that.” She says (in Spanish). “Let’s call it even after you called me by another woman’s name. Fuck, that was the worst. I mean, there was that one client, but…God, fuck. I still think I’m letting you off easy.”
“Wha…”
However, Liri—Assassin is already more interested in hugging the door frame to carefully look outdoors. The flames are well gone, but I can’t see anything from where I am seated on the floor, only hear the incessant roaring of the Cherufe (?).
“This is a mess. Now, if there were a God and he truly cared, those two monsters would kill each other. Well, I’ll be happy if that red asshole gets stuffed with poison and chopped into pieces.”
Red…she means the Cherufe? No, wait.
“Poison…ugh…” Somehow, it’s relenting a little, both the headache and the vomit-inducing revulsion. Maybe I just have to keep some distance…?
“You, the scorpion…”
She looks at me, and then at her right flank.
“Ah, that. No problem, poison can’t kill me. It’s just the stab that hurts like heck. So, think you can move?”
“I would…rather not.”
Sthūla-Śarīra is gone and I have been brought down to the level of common mortals. It is like being jerked out of the Zone, and the physical, mental and magical effort hits me like a wave.
And, fuck, my clothes are soaked. All that laying around on thawed snow did not do me any good.
I officially feel like shit.
Status Change
Warmth: Optimal -> Poor (double rank-down from Good due to wet clothes) Stamina: Good -> Stable Intense headache and nausea currently prevent the concentration necessary to use magecraft.
Headache…gotta wait for this headache to go away. Shit, how am I supposed to have a conversation with this girl if it hurts…so much…to do anything!?
“Fuck,” she mutters quietly. Sorry. “I wanna check on Sakura, fix’er up—”
She abruptly laughs. A mocking sound, dripping with schadenfreude.
“Ha! Serves you right!” she whispers excitedly at whatever she is looking at outside. “Finish him, scorpion!”
So the scorpion man is winning…ah, right. She can do that. Healing, I mean.
Ah. I see. Should’ve noticed earlier.
This girl doesn’t want to leave me behind.
Well, yes, for all we know there are more soldiers or who-knows-what-else lurking around.
Got it. Time to be a man and just bear through it.
“Right. Just gimme a second—”
And then the two of us are blown across the house when something lands on the street just outside with all the force of a mortar bomb.
*** ***
Maria Westinghouse has no doubt of there being at least one magus out there capable of unleashing fire in such amounts. However, she knows for a fact that Javier Lucero is not one of them.
Of course, there is the matter of the flames themselves not being magical. A moment or two of careful thought would likely lead Maria to the method behind the feat, but she does not have the privilege of time at the moment, so she is just confused.
Inside the firestorm, the monsters roar. Well, one of them does. The scorpion man—Girtablilu, naturally—is not the expressive type. Besides, it is hard to believe a monster of molten rock would be much affected by flames. Again, Maria has not the chance to dwell on that.
Claw lashes out, aiming for her throat. She sways to her left, letting it brush her hair. The same clawed hand abruptly changes direction, now seeking to draw bloody lines across her face. A single claw barely taps her facemask as she leans backwards. She then takes a step forward; her rising slash is sidestepped. Uridimmu attacks, but it has to take an extra step now; Maria spins clockwise and out of the way of the attack, simultaneously getting in position for her retaliation.
The ancient lycanthrope has replaced its speed with caution, and gets away with only a scratch. Maria clicks her tongue.
She can win. She’s got this in the bag.
It does not make her feel better.
Maria does not have Saver’s voice inside her head, nor does she need it. She can feel the disappointment and scorn emanating from the depths of her soul.
This has been a bad fight. Poor performance beneath Saver’s august powers. Maria can imagine the Servant murmuring things like “fuckin’ fail” or “would’ve taken me five seconds, this hairy chump.”
She has the voice of her high school math teacher.
Fuck that bitch.
Two things comfort Maria: firstly, she has the Drake residence constantly in her sight, and there have been no unwanted intrusions following the woman taking Sakura inside. Secondly, she can still feel her connection to Javier’s magic circuits.
The sea of flames fades into nothing. The roaring beast of molten rock towers over the fallen, many-legged Girtablilu. The scorpion man was considerably more hampered by the flames than the magma monstrosity, which lead to the pounding that knocked it prone. Unrestrained and triumphant, the bipedal creature aims to hammer its next terrible blow, but this time it is trivially knocked aside by the other’s pincers.
While Maria clashes with the Uridimmu, the two are witness to an indisputable beatdown. Truly, the flames Javier unleashed were the only thing that gave the rock beast any sort of advantage over the scorpion man, who now goes to town on the unwelcome opponent. It uses its large pincers as blunt weapons, delivering literal rock-shattering blows.
There was never a fight. The rock creature never stood a chance. Either physical parameters or combat prowess, Girtablilu vastly surpasses it in both.
It is a much smaller thing that drops prone at the scorpion’s many feet. Maria almost lets her opponent land a hit from sheer surprise.
Is that a—
All thoughts, however, are abruptly smothered by the overwhelming sense of imminent danger. Maria’s heart skips a beat at the same time the power inhabiting her roars in glee.
A strong one comes—!
The spawn of Tiamat, too, perceive the incoming threat and both monsters and Servant jump away in different directions right before something lands on the street with a meteoric impact. Maria could swear she hears a woman’s scream as nearby houses shudder and collapse. The Drake residence is barely spared, but the front wall looks like it could fall just by blowing at it.
Maria’s mind urges her jaw to stop trembling, to no avail. She strengthens her grip on her sword, her whole attention fixated on the cloud of dust filling a good part of the city block.
There is a Servant in there. She is aware of its presence, powerful and utterly hostile.
Can she handle it? Can she take on a Servant at this point, after all this?
Then she realizes—or Save somehow makes her realize—that carrying this doubt means she’s already lost.
Something cuts through the cloud, violently forcing it to part.
Maria’s body vibrates in mixed trepidation and eagerness. The Servant in her is relishing every second of this, already looking forward to the violence her duet with this new Servant will create…
In other circumstances, Maria would have paid closer attention to the familiar presence of divinity emanating from this armored Servant. However, what she cares about is what the newcomer carries at the side, in the hand not holding that long polearm weapon.
“It…it was a person,” she murmurs.
The new Servant has claimed the person who came out of the shattered rock monster.
Maria does not recognize the fiery red hair, nor can she see the face from her position. “A male redhead” is about as much as she can see from her place.
“I am taking this thing,” the Servant finally speaks, any features that could make his voice recognizable undone by the strange reverberation in his helm. However, both words and tone betray his utter disgust by the person he holds.
“…Master’s orders.”
Again, a woman screams. This time Maria is sure she did not imagine it. It comes from far behind the new Servant, somewhere outside Maria’s field of view. The sound is abruptly drowned by the rumbling of a building collapsing nearby, perhaps even on the unfortunate screamer.
Her attention, however, turns to the newcomer when he points at her with his weapon.
Her knees threaten to give in. It is perhaps not her own courage that keeps her from embarrassing herself.
This Servant wants to fight about as much as Saver wants to fight him. It is obedience to his Master’s command that stops him from charging at her, nothing else.
The spawn of Tiamat…running further away by the instant. They have found a chance and now flee, perhaps estimating that things were turning against them with a new Servant on the field and both bearing wounds and bruises. Maria feels she should be disappointed by this, but she cannot find it in herself to care.
Maria Westinghouse is tired, and frustrated, and scared.
“I will be most disappointed if Rider kills you before I do.”
Those are his parting words: a reminder that the day is far from over; that another one is yet to come for her life.
Finding herself suddenly alone in a wrecked street, Maria Westinghouse holds back her tears for solely one painful reason.
It has nothing to do with her own desires, nor the drive towards truth and justice that brought her to this city.
It has nothing to do with Javier and the others she has to protect from the dangers of this singularity.
Simply and bluntly, Maria Westinghouse knows Saver will never forgive her if she cries. Because Saver has never known fear, and has never shed tears.
Therefore, the girl who gleefully accepted and welcomed power she does not even remotely understand, rubs her eyes on the back of her wrist, strangles the choked sobs in her throat, pretends the stinging ache in her chest is just more of the muscle pains wracking the rest of her body, and takes her next step.
One step forward, towards her next ordeal.
Choice Time
So, choices. Maria’s, more precisely. What should our troubled heroine do now?
1. Sit down and take a break. 2. Look for Javier. 3. Check on Sakura and the Drakes (and the unknown woman, I guess). 4. Chase after the spawn of Tiamat. 5. Look for that screaming woman. 6. Write-in.
Wise-up! (Spawn of Tiamat)
Girtablilu STR C END B AGI B MGI E LUK E
Uridimmu STR B END D AGI B MGI E LUK E
Wise-up! (Assassin of the Black Sun)
Class Skills Incorruptible Form – EX
Conceptual flawlessness that rejects all physical corruption and contamination. A Skill that “ordinary” human heroes can never aspire to, for it belongs not to warriors, mages, kings, or even saints, but rather to those who have come to know enlightenment and/or divine transcendence. The Skill preserves the absoluteness of the body, repels all physical interference (including all natural and magical poison, curse, and disease effects, as well as all effects that would degrade the physical parameters), stops the growth of the body and prevents the figure from change no matter how many calories are absorbed.
(Additional information locked behind True Name.)
Last edited by Daneel Rush; March 25th, 2019 at 10:11 PM.
Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes
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