As the title says, post segments of things you've written where everything clicked just right. Preferably not thousands of words each but if you're just that good then by all means, don't be modest.
As the title says, post segments of things you've written where everything clicked just right. Preferably not thousands of words each but if you're just that good then by all means, don't be modest.
As foolish as the question may be, I'll ask it: Must the passages be TM-related?
AWAKEN MY RULERS
ok left
Avenger looked at the scene before him, all hope gone from his eyes. “What are you going to do, Lancer?” He asked again.
The other man just grinned.
“I suppose,” Lancer said. “I’ll have to get serious.”
Nice, punchy foreshadowing for plot developments that never came to pass. Remember kids: If you don't finish it in time for the contest (though in this case, it was meant to be incomplete), you'll never finish it at all, so submit what you have when the due date comes.“To err is human. It’s a common enough phrase, with a common enough follow-up. However, forgiveness is an incorrect deduction. If the capacity to err is human, then would that not imply that to be incapable of error is to surpass humanity? With enough power, there is no capacity for mistakes; with enough strength, no path is out of reach. For a people devoted to surpassing humanity and casting it aside – especially a group like them – wouldn’t they have found a way by now?”
- Theodore Thirioakis, 4th Family Head of the House Thirioakis
“Have you ever wondered why we call ourselves such a thing, Dimitri? Our official name is simple enough; to the casual observer, it may even be our true name. But what others pass off as a mere nickname is far more important. You see, we have a role in this world, one that has changed through the millennia. We have usurped our betters, our progenitors, and created a new age – an Age of Man. We are the greatest indicators of this time, and also of the miracles of the past. Just as a clock speaks of the present, yet hints at the past and future, we magi do the same. And that is why I believe in our capability – what others call a laughable myth. For did we not once live in the Age of Myths?”
- Alexander Thirioakis, 5th Family Head of the House Thirioakis
“Every creature on this earth has a place. There is but one exception – the corrosion known as humanity. Humanity is but a plague. It consumes every resource and rots every acre, leaving naught behind but refuse and filth; it claims that it is the greatest race to walk the Earth, yet has brought this world to the brink of destruction. To atone for our sins, no sacrifice is enough. Therefore, we who are more harmful than any other and more useless than any other must strive to serve the Earth and to better it and the creatures that rightfully live upon it. We who hold unparalleled power in the destruction and protection of the world hold this role – we are the stewards of Gaia.”
- Dimitri Thirioakis, 6th Family Head of the House Thirioakis
Fun Things are Fun.“Hm?” Astolfo tilted his head quizzically. “Master, you don’t know what a penis is?”
I like this as an opening; deja vu was a fitting way to cover the prompted relationship of Shiki/Illya based on the similarities between Illya and Arc and the fact that it's a relationship/moment that can't last. Also both parties are doomed to live fast and die young, and I do wish I'd touched on that part a little more. I don't think I had the capability at the time, though. But even if it's all in your head and meaningless in the grand scale of things, a moment you enjoy is a moment that is important.Deja vu. The recollection of a phantom memory, the extrapolation of experiences forced over cherry-picked characteristics of the present, coincidence given meaning by the brain's desperate attempt to rationalize the vagaries of fate. A single transient link between the past and present, quickly forgotten about once reminiscence ends and existence resumes.
Hell no. Life is made of moments that you shouldn’t, can't, and won't forget. Ordinary or extraordinary; there's no difference. Even eating a cheap burger at a restaurant is precious. And yet, that moment was definitely extraordinary. It changed my life. Moments like those are something you keep with you to the moment you die.
Especially if you see them twice.
Illya and Arc have a lot of similarities once you think about it: pale hair, red eyes, white and purple clothing, locked up in a castle, loathed someone they wanted to meet but were also fascinated by them, older than they look, fairly sheltered from the world, etc. So I brought that up in the fic with how Shiki treats Illya and how he uses her as a crutch, and vice-versa, though I could've stated more details, I suppose.“Shiki, can you tell me more about this woman?”
Shiki tensed up, and Illya continued. “It doesn’t have to be her name, or why you’re looking for her. But if I don’t know anything about her besides ‘wears white’, then I can’t help you look for her. I want to help you. Who are you looking for?”
He paused for a while, staring into the shadows. Illya stepped forward to reach out to him, and then he spoke.
“She was fun. Teaching her things was fun. Learning things from her was fun. Just being with her was fun. She was incredibly wise in some ways, yet oh so very stupid in others. She was a foreigner. She traveled a lot - all over the world even - until one day she came to the city where I lived. She was tracking someone down who kept escaping and who was very persistent; the kind of guy who wouldn’t die even if you killed him. It was pure chance that I met her.”
The misty night was silent.
“Because she met me, she lost her way. I took away the path that she had. I made her a wanderer. So I decided to help her get back on her path. There were setbacks, but there were also fun times. She was never meant to wander, but it was good for her. I got to show her all sorts of new things and take her to all sorts of new places, and then it all came to an end. We found the man she was looking for. I killed him. And with him, I killed the path that she was traveling on. But even then, she still had more to lose. Her journey was over, so she couldn’t stay with me anymore. She was too tired to linger, to waste time wandering about a small city.”
Shiki’s fists clenched, and blood began to drip.
“So she left. She went back to her coffin, unable even to wander. A white princess in an empty castle.”
Illya stopped, and her hand fell. She faced Shiki, and he faced the darkness, and neither were looking at what was before them.
I wanted to hurt people.
To preserve formatting, and also somewhat actual spoilers
Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.
Mine would probably be these:
I was trying to emulate the VN style or anime style of delivering lines, and I thought this worked out decently.“Right, I get it,” Lancer said. “Magi need to keep their secrets. Then I suppose it’s fine…”
He lowered his spear, pointing its crimson tip at Illya’s head.
“… If you die keeping them, right?” he finished.
I also liked this and the whole conversation I wrote for the two Illyas from FSN and Prisma. I dunno, I just really liked the idea of the two of them talking and being unable to reconcile their differences, and I thought their conversation highlighted that difference. Could be improved, but in the moment I thought it worked well.She was smiling, but this time the smile was wide. She looked happy, like the carefree girl she appeared to be, and as she wore that radiant, childlike smile on her face—
“Goodbye! I saw a nice dream thanks to you!”
—she said those distant words.
"It's not that I don't have common sense; I just choose to ignore it sometimes."
-
Where to find me:
Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1852114/Blue-Hurricane
Deviantart: http://ausreford.deviantart.com/
Trace: Overedge.
I feel boundlessly sad. I have lost everything that mattered to me. Since I was a young child, I have lost more than what I have earned. My freedom of speech was cut off, my love was rotten and split in half, my reputation was tarred, my land was given away, and lastly my wings of freedom have been twisted and rent. There is no longer a path for me to walk, I can only plummet to an abyss of depression. Not even my children visit me. Furthermore, my son Carlos orders not to set me free under any circumstance. My own children have betrayed me. I cannot believe in anything anymore.
But the last glimmer of light in this thick darkness of nil gives me some hope. Yes. Everything else may have been lost, but I am still myself. I am still Juana de Castilla. Even if the rest of the world sees me as a maddened demon, as long as I can see myself as a woman who fought to maintain what was hers no matter how emaciated I was, I will not have completely⸻⸻
They want to kill me. The nuns want to kill me. I am old and frail, therefore there is no need for me anymore. No, it’s not that. I never was needed, they were just waiting for me to be so weakened that I could not defend myself to end my life. I cannot feel secure even in my own room. If I fall asleep, they will asphyxiate me with a pillow. If I hunger, they will feed me poison. Stay away. Stay away from me! Don’t touch me!! Don’t come any closer to me!!!
Almost fifty years of my life have been spent recluse between these walls, almost all my life has been spent alone. Even in my death, this is still true. I finally lose the only thing I had left: my life. Nobody cares about my death, nobody cares about my thoughts. Despite my atheism being widely known, a priest is at my side in the deathbed. This is so painful. Why did nobody care? Why didn’t anyone have regards for what crossed my mind? I cry disconsolately. Felipe… If I was wrong, please wait for me in the afterlife…
AWAKEN MY RULERS
This will motivate me to finish before christmas so i don't go onto the wall of shame
Spoiler:
Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions IThough abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
I got nothin'. But, someone told me they drew inspiration from the imagery in this paragraph for their own writing:
It's from an old Claymore fic of mine.Running through deserted pathways, past the
town's square, she felt with each step the
guards trying to keep it at bay, their numbers
diminishing very quickly, very suddenly.
Jumping over an overturned cart where blood,
severed limbs, and entrails were strewn
across the ground along with various fruit
and vegetables, Kuno and the others must
have drawn it further away from the town
than she'd realized, for nothing alive was at
the front-gate.
As for TM related things, uh, it's fun to see how my writing style has evolved. It's so...
... bleh.There was, long ago, a barbarian queen. Tall and terrible, a bringer of destruction. Once, a mother. Loving and kind. Then, a warrior. Horrible and cruel. Later, a goddess. Indifferent and disposed. She was the Queen of Carrion, nourishing her appetite on the corpses of those who dared to stand in her way. She was Boudica, a woman of rage, and regret. And, nothing, not the fates, nor the Eagle, could hold back her fury. Not until Rome itself, and the one responsible for her pain, burned.
They'd won their first battle to unify the north.
Crouched knee-deep in the battle's aftermath, Arturia thought of her in the wet, iron-scented rain. Voided bowels and blood-churned mud. Broken teeth, punctured flesh, scattered brains and bits, split bone and torn limb, bodies littering the field friend and enemy both. Arrow cushioned knights drowning in their own gurgled cries. Crushed by hammer, cut by axe, skewered by spear, hewn by sword. Silenced with the coming down of steel upon skull. The survivors, brandishing dented armor and bandaged wounds galore. Stained blades, shattered lances, splintered shields. Her, standing alone, staring out into the horizon, oblivious to the carnage behind, eyes ever on that light which blinded them, looking forward to the glimmering sunlight of a destiny she was born to lead, fading beneath dark clouds further on into rugged valley and tundra. White, rolling hills and clusters of mist, masking a land with a history of savagery and violence indigenous to the invader's homeland an ocean away. Barbarians. Horned horrors, helmeted marauders, crow-loving fiends. Terrorizing the people she vowed to protect when pulling sword from stone. From where the Tall and Terrible once marched, burning and bleeding the land in her war of vengeance. A perversion of what she'd been before and, watching Bedivere's father and others in the shadow of the naive girl-king she herself had once been, Caliburn under clasped hands, now simply another amid that carnage and helping tend to those she previously kept her back toward, Arturia better understood the monster she too would become--the unshaken ideal--to those very same.
Which brings to mind this neat article: A Reader's Manifesto
Hmmm... The fics I had the most fun writing were probably The Gift and The Sorrow of Kings. With both I had a clear vision of what story I wanted to tell, and I feel I managed to translate that story well into the actual text - though with The Gift I fear I may have gone a tad too purple at times, and I couldn't finish The Sorrow of Kings on time.
As for specific passages...
The Gift
Passion Acknowledged
And for He Was a Good King, I liked the parallelism I used of the king's heart pounding.