Year: 2018
Location: Pinyang City, Level 1
“No, it’s nothing.”
I shake my head as if brushing aside any suspicions. Right, I can’t butt heads with this woman carelessly. We’re working together now, so I can’t be uncivilized in my approach. At the very least, I have to try acting polite.
That said, I still have plenty of frustration to vent.
“I was just thinking how glad I am to have you here. I guess it’s a good thing you were defeated so quickly, huh?” I make a snide remark disguised as a compliment.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Of course!” She replies with a smile.
The backhanded compliment seemed to confuse her for a second, but she quickly ignored it. From the looks of it, she just seems happy to be praised.
“That said… I don’t know about letting you do all the fighting. I mean I’d feel bad about leaving everything to you.” I say, pretending to be a nice and considerate person.
“Eh, you don’t have to worry about that. You’ll only get hurt if you fight, so you can leave it to me. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” She proclaims proudly.
Tch, this girl. She really thinks I need her oh-so-generous protection. How irritating.
I swallow my ever-growing frustration and do my best to put on a smile.
“No, no, I couldn’t make you do all that. Besides, if I left all the fighting to you, you might get hurt. That worries me; I’d hate to see you get injured on my behalf.”
As if! The one who wants to hurt you the most is me! Well, let’s refrain from saying such mean things.
“Eh? R-really? Well, if you’re that adamant about it, I guess we could fight together…” She responds, while awkwardly twirling her hair a little.
Hm? She seems quite happy about that one. Could it be… is she weak to compliments and niceties?
“That’s right. I’ve always wanted to fight by your side.” I nod along with her good mood.
“H-hm, then, maybe… but it’d still be risky. I mean, you’re just so weak… ah, but maybe if you were a little stronger?” She goes into thought for a second before bursting out with a joyful expression. “I know! How about I train you first so that you’re combat ready? We can improve your magecraft and what not; it’ll be like our old training days in Chaldea.”
Oh, what a surprising suggestion. Training? Hm… I did want to improve my magecraft while I had the chance and having a proper teacher would be a huge help but… I don’t think I can handle having her lord instructions over me.
“Well, I appreciate the offer – you are very kind – but I don’t know if your training would be much help.” I refuse with dripping implications.
“Hm? Ah, I guess that’s true. At your level, even a crash course wouldn’t make you competent overnight. Too bad, too bad.” She sighs at my rejection.
“Well, let’s leave the details for later. Shall we get going for now? My place is close.” I motion for us to move this elsewhere.
“Ah right, of course.” She nods and then turns to the Servants making pleasant conversation to the side. “C’mon, Starkad. Let’s go!”
The looming giant Lancer turns his head immediately at his Master’s command and simply nods.
“Understood…”
His voice was slow and gravelly, but packed a sense of power behind it, not unlike his enormous body. From his response, it seems that he’s rather obedient to Alisha.
Also, she really just went out and said his True Name like that, huh? I mean, I already knew it, but that’s pretty bold. Is she the type to go “Who cares if you know his True Name? You still can’t beat us!” like an elitist?
Well either way, with that the four of us head back to our humble quarters.
Year: 2018
Location: Royal Quarters, Pinyang City
“Uwaah, this is pretty cramped, isn’t it?”
The moment we enter the two-bedroom apartment, Alisha begins complaining. As before, I refrain from calling her out and politely respond.
“Well, you know, that’s just how this place is. There isn’t much space here.”
“Hehh, is that so? Well… I actually kind of like it. It’s pretty cozy, huh?” She claims, examining the dimensions of the flat.
She seems rather pleased with the humble abode; perhaps it’s one of those things when a rich princess becomes attached to a commoner’s shack because of how different it is?
“Welcome back, dea- Ah, who is this?”
While I’m spacing out, Yingying comes out from the kitchen to greet us, only to be surprised at the sigh of Alisha. Ah, now that I think about it, I haven’t filled her in yet, since this was so last minute.
“Ah, sorry Yingying. This is one of my… colleagues, Alisha. Due to some unforeseeable circumstances, she’ll be staying here for a while.” I introduce the two to each other.
“Ah, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Alisha Helstrom.” Alisha greets her in a friendly tone.
“It’s a pleasure. I’m Yao Yingying… hm?” Yingying begins to bow, before suddenly stopping in thought. How strange.
“Is there a problem?” I ask her with concern.
In response, Yingying raises her head slowly and I notice her cheeks are slightly flustered.
“No, it’s nothing major… I was just realizing that… technically, my last name should be yours now…”
“Ah.”
Well, that’s certainly true but… Yingying Andreski? It just doesn’t sound right. And it kind of makes me embarrassed as well. But well… I can’t deny that part of me would be a little happy if I heard it said out loud.
“Hm? Same last name? Wait… does that mean… no way.” Alisha ponders as she begins putting together the pieces from the conversation.
“Geh. N-no wait. Hold on. It’s not what you think.” I realize the danger and try to stop her but am too late.
“Uwah, so it’s like that? You two are married!?” She exclaims loudly and takes a drastic step back from me.
The moment she yells that out loud, Yingying blushes harder while I desperately try to correct any errant thoughts.
“No. I mean, yes, we are, but it’s not like that. You’re misunderstanding—”
“No, no, you don’t have to hide it. I’m not judging you. What you do in your lostbelt is up to you.”
“No, no, no, like I said if you’d just listen—”
“But wow. Shacking up with a local? I didn’t know you had it in you. I’m kind of impressed. Woah, I have to tell everyone immediately. Ah, but then I have to be the one to break the bad news to Bianca…”
“No! Don’t tell or say anything. Please!”
In the end, after some high-pressure back and forth, my pleas are answered, and I manage to convince the little devil to not expose my marital status to our peers. What a heart-racing danger I never expected; I was moments away from being known as the playboy Crypter forever.
That damn Alisha was hard to convince. She was insistent about telling Bianca in particular too – I wonder why? Ah, it must be a girl thing. Like gossipy girl talk and what not? I guess those two were closer than I thought if they’re so adamant about sharing romance gossip like that.
Anyways, after that, things calm down and we move onto discussing the future arrangements.
“Right, for now, you can use this room.” I point the Master and Servant to their new resting place.
It is, of course, none other than the side bedroom in the Royal Quarters. If one remembers, I originally gave this room to Assassin, but I’ve been sleeping in it since Yingying arrived. Now that Alisha’s here, I’m handing it over to her. Of course, that means there’s no room or bed for me, so I’ll be back to sleeping on the floor again. It’s a pain, but even I can’t make a girl sleep on the floor in my place. We just don’t have enough room.
“Eh? We’ll be under the same roof? … I sense danger to my body in this arrangement.” Alisha complains, while wrapping her arms around herself in a gesture of cautious guarding.
“Oi, what kind of person do you take me for? I’m a married man, you know.” I allow myself to retort a little.
Does she really think I’d be tempted to lay a hand on her? Don’t get full of yourself, bitch. I live looking at Assassin every day. In comparison, you’re about as attractive as a moist biscuit.
“Sorry, but there’s no choice. Your arrival was out of nowhere so I couldn’t prepare anything. I’ll try to see if we can get you your own place soon, so put up with it for now, okay?” I explain while scratching my head.
“Hm? Well… I guess that’s okay. But no coming into my room, okay?” She makes an authoritative humph.
“Of course, of course.” I say gently.
I want to make a sarcastic remark, but I restrain myself and just nod like a machine. This being polite and passive aggressive thing is harder than I thought.
“By the way… I was wondering, but what’s in that bag?” I ask, looking at the luggage that Starkad was carrying.
“Hm? Ah, souvenirs.” Alisha answers with cheer.
The giant immediately lowers the pack and the Master opens it up to let me look inside. The first thing I see is… a big teddy bear?
“Ah, wait, wait, that’s not it. That’s just my teddy. The real stuff is under it.” Alisha quickly picks up the stuffed animal, hugging it in her arms, and lets me see the other stuff.
“Hmm… bundles, jars, and vials? It’s pretty carefully packed but what are they?” I wonder.
“Materials. The people back in Fairyland were kind enough to give them to us. There’s a lot of good stuff here too. Look at this.” She explains and reaches into the bag.
Huh, is that so? With a closer look, I see that there’s a lot of herbs and natural materials in the things. There are also jars with dancing lights in them, likely some sort of fairy spirits. They all seem like high-quality stuff that’d be super expensive back in our original world. To give them so generously, the people in Bianca’s lostbelt must be super nice.
Alisha excitedly pulls out what looks like a flowerpot from the bag and holds it up for me. In the pot is some sort of vegetable growing in soil.
“Here. Try pulling it out.”
“Huh? Okay, I guess. What is it?”
I play along and begin tugging on the plant leaves—
“Mandrake.”
“Pssst! Are you trying to kill me!?”
I let go just in time. That was close! I nearly caused a fatal accident that couldn’t be taken back.
What’s wrong with this girl? Does she want to commit suicide?
“Hahaha, just kidding! It’s just a regular herb.” She laughs at my panic and pulls out the plant to reveal regular roots beneath.
“D-don’t joke about stuff like that. That’s not good for my health.” I complain fiercely.
“Hehe, what’s wrong? Did I make your heart skip a beat?” She chuckles and gives me a playful wink.
Ggghh, this woman… calm down, calm down. Stay polite, stay polite…
“Honestly, you have such an exciting sense of humor. You must’ve had a very special childhood.” I snidely comment.
“Aw, thanks.” She smiles at the backhanded compliment.
Right, it seems that she really doesn’t get the connotations of my passive aggressive words. Is she actually super dense?
Anyways, I leave the two alone to unpack and go to sit in peace in the living room, still a little disgruntled. Seeing me separate from them, Assassin waltzes on over.
“How’s it going? You two seem to be getting along.” She comments lightly as she stands besides my armchair.
“What exactly did you see that made you think that?” I question her vision.
“Hm, am I wrong? Do you not like her?” Assassin asked with a surprisingly surprised expression. Not thinking too deeply about it, I fold my arms and sink further into the chair.
“To be honest, I really don’t. She gets on my nerves.” I admit while glaring at the sight of her across the apartment.
“Really? You were acting so nice though. Nicer than usual in fact.” She comments.
“Well that’s…”
I briefly explain to Assassin how I feel and how I decided to treat Alisha.
“Eeh, passive aggressive? Backhanded compliments? That’s not like you.” She remarks with confusion and concern.
Certainly, I’m usually not someone who acts polite without reason. I tend to be pretty cold and blunt about things so I’m not actually one to be tactful or delicate. The usual exceptions are when my life is in danger, but in casual conversation, I’m usually harsher. But I’m currently making a conscious effort to not reveal my true feelings to Alisha. If I’m not careful, I’ll cuss her out before I realize it. Instead, I’ve been venting my anger with indirect insults and false praise, but the girl in question is so dense that it’s not satisfying at all.
“I understand what you’re going through, but if you’re having that much difficulty dealing with her, maybe you should just let her know head-on, before something bad happens.” She suggests after some thought.
“But… if I just lay into her, I’m afraid we won’t be able to work together.” I respond with my head down.
“But you can’t keep pretending like you get along with her. That won’t last forever; it’s best to hash things out early. I’ve told you before that deception is bad, right?” She begins to take a lecturing tone.
I quickly look away in shame. Certainly, I already know how she feels about honesty and lying. It was one of the first things I learned about her upon arriving in this world, so I couldn’t forget it easily. It was by following her advice for an honest relationship that I’m at the place I am now with Yingying but… this case is different, right? It should be fine; Alisha seems socially dense so I can probably keep fooling her for a long, long time. I can keep it up if I try.
“I-it’s not really deception… I mean, I’m not lying per se…” I shiftily try to find an excuse, but she is having none of it.
“There’s no difference. In the end, your relationship will just be a fabrication, right? Can you really be satisfied with that kind of partnership?” She precisely hammers my stubborn thoughts.
I don’t have anything I can say in response, so I just silently look away as if ignoring the problem. After a while of that, Assassin sighs and changes her tone.
“Well, you can do what you want. If you still think this is the best way to handle things, I won’t force you, but… I personally don’t like it. Being nice when you don’t mean it. Gaining a person’s affections in order to use them. Deception for manipulation. I really… hate those kinds of things.” She states with a solemn voice.
For a moment, her tone of voice is different. The words she says aren’t those of a wise motherly woman scolding an ignorant child, but something that feels very personal. In them, I sense deep contemplation, disappointment, and… regret.
“W-well, I’ll consider how I should treat her. But, either way, as things stand, I don’t think our relationship’s really good. I guess I’m worried about working well with her…” I change topic and voice my concerns.
“Ah, well, that is the main problem, I suppose. Hmm…” Assassin begins to think.
In the end, the main concern is forming a working relationship with Alisha. Most of all, I need to make her respect me and see me as an equal, at least. Otherwise, she won’t listen to what I have to say and will keep acting like a bigshot. But considering her attitude, that doesn’t seem like an easy task.
After maybe 30 seconds of contemplation, though, Assassin suddenly bops her fist in epiphany.
“Oh, I’ve got a good idea!”
Year: 2018
Location: Pinyang City, Level 1
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This is so awesome!”
“Ah, yeah, yeah, calm down.”
In the streets of Pinyang city, a giddy Alisha was jumping and frolicking about in excitement at every little thing she saw while I begrudgingly walked alongside her.
This was Assassin’s great idea? I honestly don’t know what I expected.
The plan Assassin proposed was simple. She made a public suggestion for me to personally show Alisha around the city while she helped Lancer unpack. Before I could respond, Alisha excitedly agreed and practically dragged me out the door, and so here we were. Apparently, Assassin thought that if Alisha and I had some personal time with just the two of us, we’d learn to get along and connect with each other. Of course, I personally have nothing but doubts about such an optimistic approach.
“Wow, this is amazing. It really is China. It’s just like the pictures but also super different.” Alisha commentated while gawking at everything from the people’s clothes to the lanterns lighting the streets.
Now that I think about it, I do remember that she was apparently a big fan of Chinese culture. But from the looks of it, she’s never been to the actual country itself, so this must be a huge event for her.
Well, seeing her happy like that… yeah, nope. Her happiness doesn’t inspire my own joy. I feel nothing from seeing her ecstatic other than the desire to knock her down a peg.
Heh, it’d be funny if she saw something that completely disillusioned her. That’s something I could laugh at. Hehehe…
“Bengshan! Look, look. Isn’t that building super cool?” She exclaims while pointing at something in the distance and tugging on my arm.
All the while that we were walking, she was holding onto my arm while hopping like a child. I tried discreetly brushing her off a few times, but she immediately went back to grabbing onto me without even realizing my attempts to get away. With her erratic yet clingy actions, she was practically rubbing her body on my arm at all times, much to my displeasure.
Too close, too close! What’s wrong with this girl? It’s different from Assassin or Rider who seem to purposely flaunt their bodies; she just seems oblivious to her actions. Does she just have no concept of personal space?
Anyways, we continue roaming the city with me giving her brief explanations of the area while she makes a ruckus wherever we go. Due to her happiness alone, a seemingly nice atmosphere is formed between us despite my own unhappiness with the situation.
Wait, now that I think about it… if someone else were to see us like this, a young man and woman walking around town, arm in arm, and seemingly super happy… wouldn’t they think it was a date?
Blugh, just the thought makes me want to vomit. Such disgust lingers in my stomach as we continue to tour the city and eventually stop for a short break.
“Mmm, what’s this flavor? Even the food here’s good.”
While munching on some cake-like snack as we stand by one of the rest areas where there aren’t many people, Alisha airs her absolute delight. I take a bite myself, but don’t think it’s particularly good. Is this girl just satisfied with anything?
“Man, this place really is awesome. Of all the ones I’ve seen, I like this world the most.” She boldly claims while fluttering her feet in the air as if she can’t help herself. Is it really okay to say that when you just came here?
“… you were in Bianca’s Lostbelt before this, right? How was it?” I timidly ask.
To be honest, I still haven’t decided how I wanted to treat her. Should I keep up with what I was doing and continue to act nice? Or should I do what Assassin said and just be honest about how much I dislike her? If so, how would I even bring it up? It feels awkward to go from a peaceful atmosphere to talking about how I hate her guts. But the more I stall, the harder it’ll be to go back…
Such gloomy thoughts fill my mind despite the happy atmosphere. Not knowing what to do, I can only speak to her meekly, unsure of what path to commit to. Luckily, it seems she hasn’t noticed my attitude and responds normally.
“Ah, it was pretty good. Everything was really pretty and peaceful. I didn’t really have any complaints except… it was too clean.” She says while reflecting.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I ask, confused.
“Well, y’know, it’s like… everything was too perfect. There was nothing wrong, and that made it feel like everything was wrong. Like I was just living in a painting rather than a real world or something… it’s hard to describe. This place isn’t as pretty, but… I like it a lot better.” She declares lightly.
“Is that so? Then… what about your Lostbelt?” I question.
“…”
I’m surprised. For once, she doesn’t respond immediately. Instead, she remains silent with an uncharacteristically solemn look on her face for a few seconds, just long enough for me to notice and see it before she quickly switched gears. In an instant, a big grin popped on her face as she cheerfully shook her head.
“Ah, nah, that place was awful. Well, it’s not worth talking about, so let’s forget about it. Anyways, I just can tell that I was totally meant to be in this world instead. It’s like we’re on the same wavelength, y’know. Like this arrangement was just destined or something. All the other Crypters seem suited for their Lostbelts, but mine didn’t suit me at all. Rather this one just feels like it was meant to be mine. It just feels right. Don’t you agree?” She says some nonsense I don’t really comprehend.
Her words give me a moment of pause. What does she mean that this Lostbelt was meant to be hers? I feel like I know the answer but… I don’t want to think about it.”
“Um, I guess? Well, I suppose it’s good that you like it here…” I hesitantly respond.
“Yeah, this place is great!” She cheers. “The culture is cool and it’s pretty civilized. I mean, I finally get to visit China, that’s super awesome. And most of all, it seems like things are gonna be super easy to deal with. No problems at all.”
“… what do you mean by that?” Though I know I shouldn’t, I ask the question whose answer I dread.
“Well, you know. You’ve managed so far by yourself, so I bet there’s nothing really challenging around. It’ll be easy peasy.” She proclaims.
Without me noticing, my hands begin to ball up. No, no, calm down. I have to be polite; I can’t lose my calm here.
“W-well, I don’t know about that… there might be some unforeseen dangers.” I say as steadily as I can.
“Eh? No way, no way. If there was anything that could defeat me, you’d be dead already.” She laughs as if I said something ridiculous.
I begin to grit my teeth. Everything I have is used to bottle my emotions. Calm down, calm down…
“I suppose that at your level it might be hard to gauge the difference between those above you but trust me on this. Nothing here can stand up to me. That’s a certainty.”
Calm down, calm down…
“Well, there’s also the matter of managing the progress, but that shouldn’t be a problem. With no one who can oppose us, we can run this place as we wish.”
Be calm, be calm… Just stay calm. No matter what I do, I have to stay calm.
“Really, now that I think about it, this Lostbelt is basically like the easy mode in a game, right? Man, you sure got lucky for getting it, right? I’m so jealous. Ah, but I guess in the end, I ended up here too, so I’m pretty lucky too.”
Deep breaths, relaxation, counting numbers, meditation, nothing is effective at cooling the heat building up in my head. Red fills my view as pathetic as it is and the desire to act rather than just sit there and endure becomes unbearable.
Even so, I have to stay calm…
“Well then, let’s do this, partner. With me here, our victory is guaranteed.”
No. I can’t stay calm any longer. I can’t contain this rage at all!
“… says the person who was defeated first.”
Suddenly. Out of nowhere, I mutter it while looking away. But I make no attempt to lower the volume or hide the words. They come out clearly for all to hear.
Immediately after, surprise colors Alisha’s face. She probably wasn’t even sure she heard that correctly. But soon enough, she processed the words and surprise quickly turned to anger.
“Haah? What was that?” She loudly interrogates with the tone of a thug.
“What’s wrong? Are you deaf as well as stupid?” I mock her openly.
With my restraints broken, I freely say whatever I want. Right now, I’m practically exploding with anger that I need to vent.
“Huh? What? W-what are you saying?” She gasps at my response. It seems like she’s gone back to surprise after seeing how different I’m acting now. “You’re acting strange. What’s your problem?”
“My problem? The only problem I have is you. It’s barely been more than a few hours and I’m already sick and tired of your attitude.” I answer her clearly.
“Eh? Eh? W-why?” She squeaks.
“I can’t stand how you act like you know everything and that you’re better than everyone. You act like you’re such a bigshot, when in reality you’re the one who was defeated first. It’s infuriating.” I lay into her completely, without holding anything back. In response, she merely stands there stunned with wide open eyes.
“E-eh? B-but I…” She quietly pushes out a few words, but I don’t even register them.
“But more than any of that, the thing I hate most about you is how you have to insult me every time you speak. It’s like you don’t know how to communicate without putting other people below you. Am I really that pathetic in my eyes? Am I really worthless without you? Do you really think you’re that much better than me? Just stop it!” I yell it all out, all of my frustrations.
Paying no attention to the surroundings or tact, I release all the emotions that have been bottling since I decided to try being calm and polite. Like a volcano, I finally release my fiery load onto her. And facing all that anger, she—
“I-I didn’t mean to…”
She makes a face as if her view of the world was shattered. For a moment, a brief moment, her voice seems apologetic.
But it doesn’t last long. In the very next instant, the surprise and shock wears off and a fiery spirit replaces it. In an even louder voice than mine, she pushes back.
“S-shut up! Don’t tell me what to do!” She roars like a wild beast. But, at this point, I won’t lose in terms of ferocity.
“That’s my line. Don’t tell me to do whatever you want. I’m not your Servant. Why should I follow your orders?” I retort wildly.
“W-what? You said were okay with my plan.”
“As if. Are you delusional? I was against it from the very beginning.”
“W-well, why didn’t you just say so? How was I supposed to know?”
“By listening to me, idiot! Anyone with basic social comprehension would’ve realized. But no, you only ever care about yourself and what you want, don’t you?”
That’s right, I get it now. The reason this girl is so dense, it must be because she’s so self-centered. She doesn’t consider other people’s feelings so how could she understand what their words mean? That has to be it.
“Wha- n-no, I… s-shut up! Shut up, shut up! What’s wrong with my plan anyways? It’s only logical.” She cries out as if throwing a tantrum.
“Why do I have to leave all the fighting to you? Do you think I’m nothing? Do you think you’re better off without allies?”
“Of course not. I was just… I’m good at fighting so I should do the fighting.”
“That’s stupid. Are you saying I don’t have any fighting ability?”
“Y-yes, I am. You’re weak so you shouldn’t fight. I don’t want you to get hurt! I… I care about you, okay!?”
What the hell is she talking about? I know for a fact that she couldn’t care any less about me. If she actually cared about me, she wouldn’t be so eager to insult me at every turn. She’s definitely just saying that. And it pisses me off even more.
“Don’t mock me. I never asked for your pity. I can take care of myself.” I respond with a cold voice of utter scorn.
That complete frigidness seems to shake Alisha for a second. Silently, she takes in the icy hated I’ve been building up. It’s only after a long moment that she seems to remember that she needs to respond.
“N-no… no, you can’t.” She retorts meekly without much fire, as if only to not lose to me. “You got yourself hospitalized recently, right? That’s because you’re weak. I’m 1000 times stronger than you, so you should just leave it to me. That way no one gets hurt.”
“Oh, yeah? You’re that amazing? Then, tell me. Why were you the first one to be defeated!?”
“Ah.”
I hit her with the ultimate attack, the one thing she cannot deny. Yes, for the perfect and invincible champion, it is the only black mark on her record and so it is the ultimate weakspot.
After that blow, she makes an expression as if she had gotten the wind punched out of her.
“T-that’s different…” She answers with trepidation.
“Really? Cause it seems to me like it’s a pretty good judge of our abilities. Since you were defeated first, that has to mean that you’re inferior to me, right?” I, however, don’t let up with my attack.
“N-no, I’m not. Y-you’re just a weakling who can’t even cast spells properly. I’m definitely better than you.” She barks, but there’s little spirit behind her words.
“Fine, then prove it. Tell me exactly what makes you better than me.” I taunt cockily.
“F-fine. Fight me. I’ll beat you in an instant. That should prove who’s better.”
She makes a dramatic pose as she challenged me to a duel, but I can only scoff at her gesture.
“Haah, is that the only thing you know how to do? Do you think a person’s value is based solely on power levels? You really are just a musclehead idiot, aren’t you? Heck, I bet that’s why you were defeated. I’m sure you went around picking a fight with everything you saw, and bit off way more than you chew. That’s it, isn’t it?” I laugh at her, taking full delight as distraught pain surfaces on her face.
Only then do I realize. Without me noticing, our roles have reversed. The one mocking the other, the person looking down from above was now me. And the one hugging their knees and licking their wounds was…
“T-that’s not true. Don’t assume things about me!” Alisha barks and suddenly shoves me.
For the first time in our altercation, things have gone beyond the verbal and a physical attack is dealt. However, the actual push is weak, and I barely even take a few steps back. But that alone triggers me.
“Then, don’t assume my abilities! Don’t underestimate me, dammit!” I respond completely in kind, shoving her as well. But our statures are completely different; I fully jettison the light-weight girl with a single push.
“Kyaa!” She yelps as she topples to the ground. It must’ve surprised her as she doesn’t catch herself and lands harshly on the stone floor. It looks like it hurt quite a bit, but… I don’t have the mind to care anymore.
Looking down on her fallen body with cold eyes, I deliver my final attack.
“You know what, Alisha? You’re supposed to be a super Master who’s never lost, right? That’s why you became a Crypter, right? That’s why you were brought back to life, right? So then… what does it mean now that you’ve been lost? Now that you’ve been defeated, what worth are you, Alisha Helstrom? Why are you even alive?”
Words I don’t even know if I truly mean, yet hit harder than anything, pour out of my mouth. They are…
“The answer is nothing at all. You’re worthless.”
… the conclusion I’ve always dreaded.
Silence. No response from the disgraced woman beneath me. The mutt at my feet says nothing after that absolute roast. For what feels like eternity, she only lies sprawled across the floor, until—
“… sniff”
“Eh?”
A surprising sound snaps me out of it. It’s the sound of someone inhaling sharply through their nose. Is she… is she crying?
Immediately after, she looks up and I get a good look at the tears streaming down her face. But through them, I see eyes of both pain and hatred, and she opens her mouth one last time.
“… shut up.”
A final meager resistance. And in the next instant, she gets onto her feet and runs off, back in the direction of the apartment, covering her face all the way.
Left behind by the fleeing girl, I’m left to contemplate my actions and the consequences they’ve had.
When I return to the royal quarters myself, I find both Assassin and Yingying standing outside the side bedroom doors with concerned expressions. Apparently, they saw Alisha enter the apartment in tears before she ran into the room and locked herself in it. Since then, neither her nor her Servant have left or shown any indication of responding to them. Even Assassin trying to phase through the wall was apparently unable to enter due to some sort of barrier that was erected. Alisha had completely, in all purposes, shut herself up in her room.
Obviously, they asked me what happened, but I stubbornly refuse to tell them what had occurred between the two of us. After a while, they recognized my stubbornness and also left me alone for a bit. Left with my thoughts, I came to two important decisions:
1. I definitely hate Alisha Helstrom. That will never change. Even if she apologizes, I will never forgive her.
2. I haven’t done anything wrong. She deserved to be told off at least once. I am in the right. Therefore, I will not apologize no matter what.
I tell these two things to myself and strengthen my will to carry them out. I tell myself that I definitely do not feel bad for her and I don’t care about her at all. I affirm that I don’t need her help and that there’s no need to pander to her whims anymore.
Those are the things I tell myself, and I will certainly not reconcile with her for the next few days.
But… are they how I truly feel?
Beyond my pride and ego, what do I now really think about Alisha Helstrom?