...Wow, Shirou's capable of creating an Original!?Originally Posted by fraggle
...Wow, Shirou's capable of creating an Original!?
Only the one, though. That one sucked up too much power.
But still...
That's amazing.
Although how Nanoha turned it into a violent thing, after being basically kidnapped by the weird kid from the back of the classroom is beyond me...
No Innate Time Control. Shirou isn't a blood relative to Kiritsugu so he can't readily accept something like a Magic Crest from him. Anyways, I would think that since Kiritsugu's Magic Circuits were damaged by the grail, that his Crest didn't come out unscathed either. Add in the fact that Kiritsugu's crest is basically junk since it's a fraction of a crest and well, it's pretty much useless now.
@Fraggle, that's genius. Though I'm not sure I could use it. Write a snippet either way.
@Altima. Well, this is Shirou before he had something to focus on. He still hasn't quite gotten to the point of beating up bullies and being a mini Hero of Justice just yet. Remember this is going to be almost right as Shirou moves to Uminari.
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
Bah, you're no fun...
No fun? Shirou doesn't even need Innate Time Control!
Why the heck would he need it? He's already going to be firing explosive legendary weapons way faster than any bow can fire arrows at his enemies. What more do you want?
Him to shatter his body for a skill that he rarely uses when his forte is swordsmanship? It wouldn't be all that useful to him anyways.
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
I just think he's pulling your leg HeroSlayer :P Don't get riled up like that.
also, back on my latest kiritsugu snippet. I did try to make him appear as much handicapped as possible. The guy could barely stand after the first hit, and most of the cripple fight was just the exchance of weak blows while they talked.
I don't know how much time Kiritsugu lost that day, but I still think hell stick around for a few years.
Tried writing a new snippet, but I' m out of juice for now, nothing good comes to mind.
for some reason I feel like shipping reinforce eins and EMIYA though. I'll call it WMD-shipping.
I mean, both are originally good people trapped in a cyclus of hatred and death, and have long forgotten their original dreams. (and they both are tall white-haired people.)
besides, just imagine their dialog.
Best...corny...porn...lines...EVER!
"Yes!" Reinforce cried out, as Emiya approached her unguarded side. " Pierce my absolute defense program with your spiral sword!"
I feel dirty now >_>
Illya is best servant
You should... you should... Ugh.
And I dunno. Part of me wants to go with your snippet just to show that you know, that adults aren't worthless until Nanoha and co. grow up. At the same time, part of me doesn't want to give Kiritsugu such a big part in the climax of the story.
I'm rather undecided on how it's going to go... again. It's rather annoying to have my voice of the finale change so much, but with so many new things and ideas flying around, it's inevitable I guess. Though I do want to have Shirou fight one of the golems.
Nanoha and everyone run into see one of the golems swinging down a giant sword at Shirou.
"Oh god, Shirou!" Nanoha races over to blast the golem or shield Shirou, but it's too late.
Cue jawdropping when Shirou blocks the strike with a 'normal' sword and carve through the giant golem like it's nothing.
We'll see. I just kinda want to get the next chapter out. Though I'm still undecided on the whole Nanoha and Shirou meeting. I don't exactly have much.
I have Nanoha's flashback of Shirou transferring in. Cue thought of how Shirou looks so empty or sad.
Then I need a dynamic scene to change their relationship to classmates to friends.
Argh, even this seems kinda lame to me.
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
Lame = awesome when you add explosions or Key-like scenarios.
Teasing the Penguin God!
Meh, it's only mushy when it's not you feeling it.
"Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."
I guess, but I kinda think the whole, he has sad eyes thing is a little cliche. I want to avoid a lot of things like that which is why I support some of my arguments so much.
I dunno, does the parallels between him and Fate make it better or worse?
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
Do you really wanna go for the melancholic Shirou?
Shirou's approach, like when he jumps the bar, is to focus on something else rather than the problem, like a partier who disguises their inner pain with more revelry. When and how exactly in his life have you set up his meeting with Nanoha and crew?
"Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."
Character development can be quite tedious, thats why I prefer to write short snippets with characters who already got their development.
Remember that these hard parts are probably the ones who will form the story itself. I don't think you should rush trough it.
based on your last posts I would recommend the following events:
----4th HGW ends, with Emiya Kiritsugu taking a boy ( Shirou, age 7) With him to Uminari city.
-Shirou's introduction in Seishou Elementary School, preferably with him still adjusting to being Emiya Shirou(as he struggles with having no memories from before). Nanoha notices that he looks 'empty'. (note that both are age 7, and thus first grade elementry students. Shirou might be in a few weeks later due to a 'medical situation' )
-Kiritsugu reveals that he is a magus to Shirou, giving the boy the goal of becoming a magus himself ( in canon Kiritsugu refused for over two years after revealing himself, so you can use the same measure here. This fuels Shirou with a goal, as he starts hero'ing about.
-Shirou's abrupt change in character attracts Nanoha's attention, and she starts seeking him out. She admires his will to become an hero, as she herself lacks a dream for the future. As she is the only one so far who acknowledges his dream Shirou starts hanging around with the girl, as they quickly become friends
-a few weeks after their friendships starts Nanoha discovered that Shirou suddenly is living alone (Kiritsugu having left for Ilya). Shirou is introduced to the Takamachi Family.
-keep the next 2 years vague. only confirm that Nanoha befriends Alisa and Suzuka, by breaking up their fight, while Shirou grows more active as he helps people with small things. At the end of those two years Kiritsugu succumbs to Shirou's pleas and begins instructing him in magecraft.
Six moths pass between Shirou's start with magecraft and the begin of MSLD. With both Shirou and Nanoha at age 9 the story begins, as the jewel seeds are scattered.
Perhaps this helps a bit?
-
Illya is best servant
I understand that, but he has nothing to focus on at the moment. He hasn't quite gotten his cooking fix, and he hasn't full grasped the whole, Hero of Justice thing for himself. He admires Kiritsugu for it, but he hasn't gotten to the point of mimicking it just yet.
Part of the flashback is the quick changes in Shirou after he enters the class. He's quick to help out people with a smile and does any job or tries any job despite his young age. But I would like to say there is still an emptiness to Shirou's actions that is more visible when he has nothing to do. If that makes any sense.
EDIT: @Fraggle, yeah, didn't see that when I was writing this. Helps a bit indeed. I'm not rushing through it, it's why this next chapter is taking so long. A lot of the previous chapters were fleshing out the characters for the audience. Now is when the actual Character development starts. Which makes a lot of the writing a lot harder.
Anyone know how old Nanoha is when her father has that accident or whatever?
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
I like it.
In a sense he's quick to assimilate into the classroom but always kept some distance from others or in a way isolated from the class since their might be rumors of him being in Fuyuki City which a good part of it was burned.
Teasing the Penguin God!
She was really young. I think about 4 or something.....
It explains why she grew up so lonely, as her family was forced to run the store and everything while her dad was in the hospital.
Illya is best servant
Okay, that helps. Now I just have to go over my first three chapters to make sure none of this contridicts anything I've already written... ugh and make any changes if they do.
I'll do that later. Now I have my first paper of the school year to write. Freaking procrastination!
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
Nanoha's dad wasn't hospitalized by an accident, he was hospitalized by assassins attacking the client he was protecting as a bodyguard. They were involved in the supernatural underworld of Japan; rather than the mage association, they might have ties to the Tohno clan that's in charge of administering those with inhuman blood.
Hm... I like the idea of "Kiritsugu is crippled and cannot fight anyone, nor perform any magic". But, if you still want him to have a scene where he's recognized for his prowess... maybe he leaves the Thompson Contender with Takamichi Shiro, to hold in escrow until his son is ready to inherit it. Shiro is someone close enough to the secret worlds that he might have heard whispers of the dreaded Magus Killer. Part of why he would have been so willing to allow Shirou around, was to measure the character of someone who might be THE Emiya Kiritsugu though his son.
They've both retired from a world of darkness, and now they're watching their kids get involved with the magic kingdom; I think Kiritsugu and Shiro can empathize in ways neither has experienced before, as parents who cannot protect their children without stifling their choices. If you want to show Kiritsugu not getting involved as a conscious choice on his part, well, Nanoha's dad is struggling or has struggled with that same choice and would make a good sounding board.
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