I always wondered if Shirou'll get zapped during a prana recharge. Deciding that for my own fic leaves me stumped.
I always wondered if Shirou'll get zapped during a prana recharge. Deciding that for my own fic leaves me stumped.
I'm not that awesome. My fics aren't very open out on FF.net. Low review count determines awesomitude-ze.Originally Posted by deviatesfish
There's burn creams afterwards. For everything else, there's Masterc-rubbers.
Rubber everywhere.
Spoiler:
I refute your argument with: "Perfect Lionheart".
It's a good argument. However! Look at Nobody Dies or Gabriel Blessing!
*wants people to write about Urobuchi's adventures too* ;_;
Spoiler:
*returns from researching*
Is Astolfo a trap? Long pink hair, hair ribbons and braids, cute face, small frame, wearing a skirt? But all gender pronouns are male.
And I'm confused by the function of King David's sling-stones. It's true that he grabbed a number up off the ground as he advanced on Goliath, but he stunned the giant with the first shot, and his second attack was to take the man's sword and cut his head off with it.
I also don't understand how Frankie can "lack the capacity for sorrow", when her story says that's what she felt when her creator died.
It's just their fault for not making Fate/Stay Night more mainstream. I bet if some of the more popular authors of FF.net read your story and advertised it it would get lots of reviews.
Astolfo is a trap, yeah. They didn't do the research with David since it's Japan. With Frankie, I guess they were going with the traditional 'realizes too late that she's something more than a monster' schtick.
Heh. Thanks.
Spoiler:
Not just a trap, the trap.
You know... most of what those people write a absolute crap, right? Like, those "omake files" they have up for Gabriel Blessing's stuff (which are not awesome by the way), most of those "omake" stuff are terrible. Like. Horrible. Most are impossible to read. Though I guess it is flattering if even people like that try to make a fanfiction of your fanfiction. Still...
1) I never read Nobody Dies. I never got into it, other than skimming the first chapter before closing that tab.
2) No. Say no to Gabriel Blessing. No. No, Velsper-sensei, no.
But yeah, getting more reviews is awesome. I think you should just advertise yourself more. I thought Robe and Wizard Hat was awesome.
We need to Arturia him. Stat.
I feel threatened by him.
I wish I could do more Ilya modo in the story before I moved to the Tsukihime part of the story, but alas. Zouken is n00blet that had to be stomped out.You know... most of what those people write a absolute crap, right? Like, those "omake files" they have up for Gabriel Blessing's stuff (which are not awesome by the way), most of those "omake" stuff are terrible. Like. Horrible. Most are impossible to read. Though I guess it is flattering if even people like that try to make a fanfiction of your fanfiction. Still...
1) I never read Nobody Dies. I never got into it, other than skimming the first chapter before closing that tab.
2) No. Say no to Gabriel Blessing. No. No, Velsper-sensei, no.
But yeah, getting more reviews is awesome. I think you should just advertise yourself more. I thought Robe and Wizard Hat was awesome.
Spoiler:
Heard of it, but I don't like ShinjixAsuka.
He was alright for the Hill of swords but his Seikirei one is a bit lacking....
Teasing the Penguin God!
Evaverse in that story is freaking fantastic, though. It overdoes things while keeping them from breaking disbelief to a level I only wish I could have done with Wizard Hat.
Sekirei needs some development for the girls. But well, pervy heart that I have is amused with Shirou with a harem of busty aliens.
Spoiler:
No, I liked yours better than both of theirs. That's all there is to it. You > Them. I wish I had an inspirational song to post here, but all I have in mind is "I just had sex" by Lonely Island ft. Akon.
Plus, Gabriel Blessing had been gathering a wide variety of followers for a long, long time. And the Eva thing has a huge following on Spacebattles. That's all.
I have really thought of writing that, and the conflicted feelings that come with it~We need to Arturia him. Stat.
I feel threatened by him.
Whoever did David apparently did enough research to find a Hebrew game of jacks, where one stone is thrown up in the air and you try to grab five off the ground. At least, the page claims there is such a game, which served as an inspirational basis.
I really like Gabriel's Sekirei crossover, but I do look forward to when the action and plot start heating up. Though, since he's about up to the part where the manga seems to be, and the story's not finished, I wonder if he's going to peter off and eventually switch to a new project.
It would also be nice if the guy got himself a beta-reader/editor. Or took some supplementary English and Creative Writing classes.
Anyway, I'm liking this story.
Though I think having Avalon as a catalyst should have been a stronger pull than intent; look who Rin ended up with, despite deliberately pulling for a Saber.
Also, I'm skeptical of what narrative use a Servant would BE at this point of Shirou's life. And where's he going to get enough electricity to power her?, since as a Servant she's going to need a LOT of prana. (Handy skill, that Galvanism. Quite a fine Servant concept.)
Galvanism will play a big part when she shows in my own story, it is quite the handy trick.
They are good, but so are you.
The ND fics are good because they're well edited, light, and flow well. They've got a bunch of crack injected into them but it all works within the rules of the Evaverse to create something original. He's also moved beyond the original villians to make new ones that are also plausible at the same time, by exploiting some very vague parts of canon. I'd say as a minus that some of his plot threads are a bit too loose for my liking, and it gets really hard to justify many of the events that happen, and the number of original characters has grown to outnumber the number of canon ones already. In addition to that the story has slowed down some in the recent chapters despite the quality of writing not diminishing.
The Sekirei fic on the other hand suffers from GB trying to explain too much to the more casual fans of Fate and the ones who have either only read Sekirei. That is one of the flaws of a crossover, that the readers may not always be familiar with the canon material. However the chapters, while a bit on the long side, are solid, and there is little breaking of canon, plus the universes are fitted together very well. It also has very little movement of the plot even though it is well written, though that may be because of the different genres of the universes involved meshing.
Now, your story. It benefits from having an unbelievable amount of crack, but still enough to sound plausible. You also take advantage of the vague canon material very well, for example Myrdin being a 12 year old boy who likes to troll people. It sounds like it could be plausible, if weird, and makes the story interesting by taking it new directions beyond canon. The big part of this story is that there are very few OCs which is good, but also means a lack of new content. The memes and references are a nice touch as well, and they flow as well as the ones in ND. Also, replacing many of Shirou's canon character traits for new ones is good, and he still feels like Shirou, albeit one with different character development. If I had to, I'd say that your story resembles ND very much, although it still seems as if it's exploring the more familiar parts of canon for now. A good way to expand would be to introduce elements never seen before in the original canon, such as elements that have only been mentioned. Witchcraft, different spirits, and a few well made original Original Characters could make your story even more appealing. Already I see that you've been doing that with Apostles in Leather pants by introducing demons, which I think was a great choice that will definitely make the story even more interesting than Wizard Hat.
However, I am still simply a fan, and these opinions are just those of a simple web surfer. You are the author, and you can choose the path your story takes. I just want to say that I'd definitely put you up there with the big fanfiction writers like GB and whoever wrote Nobody Dies.
Also, this was a bitch to write.
Exactly, Velsper! What he said!
There can be some hits and a miss, I suppose. Not everything is wrong, but they probably dramatized some portions to make it sound cooler.
Gabriel is a neat guy in my book. I wish I could get myself to write as much. I can only do it when I have like about fifty perspectives.I really like Gabriel's Sekirei crossover, but I do look forward to when the action and plot start heating up. Though, since he's about up to the part where the manga seems to be, and the story's not finished, I wonder if he's going to peter off and eventually switch to a new project.
It would also be nice if the guy got himself a beta-reader/editor. Or took some supplementary English and Creative Writing classes.
Frankenstein's Monster was a handy accident. The way I see it was that Shirou was going through all the various summoning circles that have been used before by the Matou. One of which was a circle for a Berserker. He was comparing them and running them together in his mind when it triggered the summon.Anyway, I'm liking this story.
Though I think having Avalon as a catalyst should have been a stronger pull than intent; look who Rin ended up with, despite deliberately pulling for a Saber.
Also, I'm skeptical of what narrative use a Servant would BE at this point of Shirou's life. And where's he going to get enough electricity to power her?, since as a Servant she's going to need a LOT of prana. (Handy skill, that Galvanism. Quite a fine Servant concept.)
Which was why Arturia wasn't called in. She can't be a Berserker, apparently.
Or at least that's my explaination. Poor one? Good one?
Even if it was, I appreciate it. It helps me see where I'm going and what I'm doing (good or wrong) when I see something fleshed out like this. Like I was joking before in Spacebattles, Zouken was the disc one boss. I'm basically dragging every little bit of Nasuverse that I can, kicking and screaming for Wizards, Apostles, and beyond. It'll be fun times.
Waffles may be involved.
But yeah, the crackier bits are bait for me to tempt everyone along.
Spoiler:
The mysterious beta has appeared~
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