http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7502390/...Broken_Thrones

Yeah... I'm not overly well informed about nasuverse... so I would like some help with my story (with a little suspension of disbelief).
Critisice me constructively... please no outright flaming. It's a 6th grail war story with originals, so give it a shot, if you don't like it, ignore it.
I suck as a writer so... whatever. I would really want a co-writer who can be on skype frequently and be active during GMT time, preferably.
I'll post the chapter's here also in the future and maybe some bad art if I get bothered enough and maybe music to go with scenes... or you could recommend those yourself.