Bah. One or two errors always get past me even after I re-read the thing over and over. Thank you very much for pointing those out and they have been fixed. Glad you enjoyed the chap too.Originally Posted by IhaxlikeNoob
Hah, that's a funny picture. I wasn't even aware I was referencing something. Go figure. (Oh, Hiroyuki... he helped create such hilarities...)
Last edited by Kiiam; January 24th, 2013 at 09:41 PM.
Lancer is officially my favorite character in this story by the way, you did great on his characterization.
Also, is it a bad sign if I was laughing uncontrollably at that last waver scene, because I don't think I was suppose to.
Fuck YES.
That about sums up my opinions on this update. D'ooooooooOOOOHHHHH, so excited to see how Kirei and Kiritsugu's talk develops, amonsgt other things!
Great job!
Heh, Kayneth's servant can't even come by to help him now that he's been Command Seal'd into fighting. I guess no Fastwheels for this fic. Though I do wonder how long Rider can last without a Master. Are we gonna see a Sola/Rider team up? Team Redhead?
And I wonder how Kirei will react to Kerry's answers.
Binged All Of Gundam In 4 Years, 1 Week and All I Got Was This Stupid Mask
FF XIV: Walked to the End
Started Legend of the Galactic Heroes (14/07/23), pray for me.
> EMIYA... KIRITSUGU
> KOTOMINE... KIREI
best part
I loved the part with Kayneth and Waver too, although I feel randomly beating him with a gun kind of robs Waver of the chance to grow as a character. Unless he just goes insane now. I was looking forward to Lancer helping him grow a spine.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
But, but, no more Rider?
Spoiler:
He still has Sola.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
Maybe Waver becomes a gunslinger mage? A bullet wizard?
Last edited by SVNB Backup; January 25th, 2013 at 08:49 PM.
This story is glorious.
Granted, I think Waver's victory was a total cop out, but everything else continues to prove that this story is worth its weight in gold.
On the other hand, I will say it was great to see Kayneth and Waver face off. I think that was one of Zero's big failings: Nothing ever came of Waver and Kayneth's 'rivalry,' even if it was entirely petty and one-sided from Waver. (Then again, I guess that was the point. Waver wasn't worth the effort at that point in the story. He had to grow into someone of significance.)
Trap Enkidu is hilarious. Grand standing Enkidu is inspirational. Fight-hungry Enkidu is awesome. As you can probably tell, I'm a big fan of your take on Enkidu. He's already the best part of this story. That he has spent so much time paling around with Rider, another of my favorites, just cements him as the best thing about this fic (so far).
I'm surprised I didn't see Berserker vs. Caster coming. Gee, one is the guardian of children and one is a child murderer. Of course they were bound to butt heads. I'm anxious for Team Matou, though. Caster is obviously cooking up something big, and it seems too early for him to die. He has to bring whatever-that-is to fruition. Is Berserker going to be the first real casualty of the War? I hope not. As you've proven with Enkidu, you have a knack for taking sketched out concepts and turning them into incredible, fully-formed characters. I want to see more of Sakata.
Edit: And of course, the Kirei-Kiri dialogue should be great. I can only imagine how much it will pain Kirei to know it was a wife that 'cured' Kiri of his fatalism when the same thing failed him.
> Edit: And of course, the Kirei-Kiri dialogue should be great. I can only imagine how much it will pain Kirei to know it was a wife that 'cured' Kiri of his fatalism when the same thing failed him.
How about the fact that Kiritsugu plans to kill his wife that he loves, when Kotomine would flay himself alive if he could feel the same love that Kiritsugu is throwing away.
I wonder if they might not work something out though. Would be a new page compared to them always ending up killing each other. But that's fine too since it's an awesome rivalry.
I was playing EMIYA #LEGACY when I read that part.
Last edited by mAc Chaos; January 25th, 2013 at 10:35 PM.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
Yay~ People are enjoying my story~
And yeah, one small peeve of mine about Fate/Zero was that Waver never got to properly confront Kayneth. They had that indirect interaction at the warehouses and then Waver just seemed to kinda... forget about his teacher. Granted, it was a petty hatred and other things were more important than settling a childish grudge, but when I started I promised myself I would have Waver and Kayneth confront each other and write it as best I could. It ain't perfect, but I think it came out well.
True. Other than Kiritsugu and Kirei’s dialogue (Which was hard to write given the miniscule interaction there was between the two in the series) I had trouble deciding how Waver would actually win and take out Kayneth. Thompson Contender was the only thing I could think of, despite how coincidental it seemed. Then again, other characters in the series have had a STUPID amount of luck in situations where they should’ve been dead to rights. I thought it worked out well in the end.
You think I’d have Broskander take his leave this early? On the second night? Nonsense! Besides, he and Lancer still have fun times ahead of them!
Well, they could have had their confrontation later when Waver had a better handle on things. It was still good though. Just feels like it's going to spiral into a Urobochi-esque Waver meltdown.
And yeah, Kotomine and Kiritsugu are hard to write, especially since it would be such a legendary interaction so no matter what you put down it's hard to beat what people might imagine.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
Had to get rid of Kayneth early to set up events for later and help drag Waver kicking and screaming into the world of adulthood. Nothing helps you mature more than a little murder, especially in the Nasuverse.
Mind if I sig that?
Spoiler:
By all means, go ahead.
Ok.
Spoiler:
um, wasnt the origin bullet supposed to shred and tie up the circuits only when the target activates all his circuits before the bullet hits him? otherwise, what is the point of kiritsugu shooting kayneth a 2nd time when he already hit him before?
some of my fanfics:
Refractions (madoka magica) - No matter how one would attempt to keep things the same as they used to be, the bending of a "law" would inevitable cause changes in the direction of their world, and that in turn would refract back to the their very lives, in ways that she never expected.
Reversed Connections (BRS) - reworked the structure and a mix of anime/OVA, has the Otherworld selves replace their human counterpart in the real world instead of the normals taking control of the Otherworld characters.
pretty sure it only shreds the circuits that are activated when ti hits, so its the most effective when theyre all on. thats why kerry lured Fast wheels into throwing all his mana into defense by using vey strong bullets before, but those werent origin shots.
This. Personally, it didn't bother me nearly as much as Waver conveniently tripping over the Contender in the first place though. That just felt... Forced? Convoluted? Dunno.
Overall though, good chapter- I liked Enkidu's and Alex's interactions in particular
on a way for Waver to ebat Fast Wheels; while we rarely see any of his magic, the little we do see seems to be alchemic/chemistrymagic. he could probably use that to to soemthing about the mercuryblob, like layin out a trap that changes its molecular structure.
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