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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #14701
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Mary Poppins: Well, the concept of her as a Heroic Spirit is pretty silly (in a good way) but the sheet itself is sound. Charisma (E) was patterned off of Gawain's variant, right? Albeit adjusted to fit Poppin's specific temperament. Housework Skill is pretty funny, if not exactly the most useful in a Grail War. If you wanted you could stretch it a bit and say it also grants proficiency in using all kinds of household tools as weapons (pots, dustpans, brooms, et cetera), though in that case an A+ rank would likely be more fitting.

    NP is nice, albeit simple. Certainly wouldn't be a Mary Poppins sheet without some mention of umbrella-enabled flight, after all. And the idea of her stashing her Master or even enemy Servants in that bag of hers is certainly amusing. Also, congrats on the Neopolitan FC. That is literal perfection.
    You were right about Charisma and thank you for the idea on the Housework skill. If I just went for the umbrella for the Noble Phantasm, she'd be a Rider and that doesn't really suit her well. It would be hard stashing a person away, especially if they resisted it but it would be an effective way of transport or stealth. Then again if someone was left in that void of clutter for so long they may end up dying...

    As for the faceclaim, wait till you see my next servant

  2. #14702
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    As for the faceclaim, wait till you see my next servant
    Hmm. Are you a Rwby fan by any chance?

  3. #14703
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle
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    Anything on Fiore? (Previous page)

    Poppins: Is there a defined limit on how much stuff and what sort of stuff is in the Purse? Is it only stuff she had in life, or is it approaching Bag of Babylon levels of variety? She could be really powerful depending on what she pulls out of there.

    Does Charisma E come with a morale decline, or is that specific to Gawain? My understanding of the skill was that rather than make people like the user, it made them hate them but feel compelled to follow them anyway.

  4. #14704
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Constructman View Post
    Anything on Fiore? (Previous page)

    Poppins: Is there a defined limit on how much stuff and what sort of stuff is in the Purse? Is it only stuff she had in life, or is it approaching Bag of Babylon levels of variety? She could be really powerful depending on what she pulls out of there.

    Does Charisma E come with a morale decline, or is that specific to Gawain? My understanding of the skill was that rather than make people like the user, it made them hate them but feel compelled to follow them anyway.
    That was only Saber Alter. Gawain has a variant that makes him 'a natural knight to whom nobody can object' which Hermes is obviously patterning Poppins's off of . As for Fiore...

    Huh. Did you really get nothing on him on the previous page? He's pretty good. Interesting to see a Saber whose a pure swordsman rather then a knight or samurai or what have you. I actually thought of doing a Fiore dei Liberi sheet a while ago but couldn't think of a fitting NP for him. Flos Duellatorum is a good way to make him a threat in a Grail War without overpowering him. Auto-counter to any weapon technique he's witnessed before is certainly powerful, but not as broken as it looks when fighting Servants who can move at ludicrous speeds and throw around conceptual techniques he's never seen before.

    Along with being able to teach others he could end up quite a potent threat (especially if he allied himself with other Heroic Spirits). And I got a kick out of the mention in his Personality section about getting offended over the depiction of swordsmanship in fantasy and historical shows. As well as the reference to 'conceptual mumbo-jumbo'.

  5. #14705
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Hmm. Are you a Rwby fan by any chance?
    It's a guilty pleasure.

    Quote Originally Posted by Constructman View Post
    Anything on Fiore? (Previous page)

    Poppins: Is there a defined limit on how much stuff and what sort of stuff is in the Purse? Is it only stuff she had in life, or is it approaching Bag of Babylon levels of variety? She could be really powerful depending on what she pulls out of there.

    Does Charisma E come with a morale decline, or is that specific to Gawain? My understanding of the skill was that rather than make people like the user, it made them hate them but feel compelled to follow them anyway.
    As for what's in the purse, the idea was that it would be big enough 'As the Plot Demands' or something, but no. Not GoB tier. For the 'E' rank Charisma varient i imagined that if gave the user a personality and persence that made people compelled to follow. Like a strict teacher in a classroom or something.

    As for Fiore, sorry I missed him earlier. Anyways, commentary:

    For Eye of the Mind (True) I'd suggest lowering it to B. A is the level of Chiron, who taught many greek heroes and was on the same level as Achilles in a way. And at B he's on the same level as EMIYA and Diarmuid. The Noble Phantasm is rather interesting actually. Martial Manual is a unique category so that's nice to see.

    His whole thing seems to be based around strengthening others so in terms of story, I see him akin to EMIYA and Rin in the Fate route, teaching the protagonist the skills to survive and act as the one they must surpass. That's just my idea though.

  6. #14706
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    I have that exact Neo picture as a background on my phone; I thought there was a hole in my browser for a split second.

    Seems like you could have done something with Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but I don't think that was in the book.
    Last edited by Funderfullness; May 24th, 2016 at 04:13 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    It's a guilty pleasure.



    As for what's in the purse, the idea was that it would be big enough 'As the Plot Demands' or something, but no. Not GoB tier. For the 'E' rank Charisma varient i imagined that if gave the user a personality and persence that made people compelled to follow. Like a strict teacher in a classroom or something.

    As for Fiore, sorry I missed him earlier. Anyways, commentary:

    For Eye of the Mind (True) I'd suggest lowering it to B. A is the level of Chiron, who taught many greek heroes and was on the same level as Achilles in a way. And at B he's on the same level as EMIYA and Diarmuid. The Noble Phantasm is rather interesting actually. Martial Manual is a unique category so that's nice to see.

    His whole thing seems to be based around strengthening others so in terms of story, I see him akin to EMIYA and Rin in the Fate route, teaching the protagonist the skills to survive and act as the one they must surpass. That's just my idea though.
    Edit made. My initial idea for him was more along the lines of the overconfident Servant who dominates the first few skirmishes, but then either encounters somebody like Siegfried or Herc that he can do absolutely nothing against, or gets wrecked once one of his opponents brings out a Noble Phantasm. He'd then try to forge an alliance with another team. Perhaps that's where the mentor thing would come in.

  8. #14708
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    That was only Saber Alter. Gawain has a variant that makes him 'a natural knight to whom nobody can object' which Hermes is obviously patterning Poppins's off of . As for Fiore...

    Huh. Did you really get nothing on him on the previous page? He's pretty good. Interesting to see a Saber whose a pure swordsman rather then a knight or samurai or what have you. I actually thought of doing a Fiore dei Liberi sheet a while ago but couldn't think of a fitting NP for him. Flos Duellatorum is a good way to make him a threat in a Grail War without overpowering him. Auto-counter to any weapon technique he's witnessed before is certainly powerful, but not as broken as it looks when fighting Servants who can move at ludicrous speeds and throw around conceptual techniques he's never seen before.

    Along with being able to teach others he could end up quite a potent threat (especially if he allied himself with other Heroic Spirits). And I got a kick out of the mention in his Personality section about getting offended over the depiction of swordsmanship in fantasy and historical shows. As well as the reference to 'conceptual mumbo-jumbo'.
    Yes, I decided to make a really plain Servant this time. No Holy swords, no beams, just a man and his skill. (His faceclaim is a knight though, lol). Is his agility parameter too high? I imagined him being able to keep up with and outspeed most other Servants in the close range, but he wouldn't be able to keep up with a serious Cu Chulainn, for example. It's more so that once his enemy reveals their Trump card, it will almost always be abort or game over for Fiore.

  9. #14709
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Constructman View Post
    Is his agility parameter too high? I imagined him being able to keep up with and outspeed most other Servants in the close range, but he wouldn't be able to keep up with a serious Cu Chulainn, for example. It's more so that once his enemy reveals their Trump card, it will almost always be abort or game over for Fiore.
    Oh boy this landmine. Fiore was ONE of those who wrote the book on swordsmanship and one on one dueling. If anything his Agility rank should be higher. Think super duelist. Think Kojiro.

    There has been arguments that Agility isn't directly analogous to movement speed. I actually agree with that. Kojiro and Diarmuid are not faster than Cu Chulainn but they both have higher agility.

    IRL running has more to do with strength and endurance. That's why sprinters have thunder thighs and marathon runners generally are sort of wiry. Good coordination augments all of that, makes a runner's motions more efficient but is not the sole reason for speed. Or else acrobats and gymnasts would also be the best runners out there.

    I have no idea what the intent of the parameters are as originally envisioned, but capacity for movement is just too multifaceted to be captured all under just one trait.

    I blame tabletop rpg for creating this sort of artificial simplification and generalization.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; May 24th, 2016 at 08:46 PM.

  10. #14710
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CanonRap View Post
    I like how there's a bullet just for pronouns but skills get a など
    Well, sure. It's a novel, first and foremost. Even in the original VN, all references to "game mechanics" could easily have been thrown out and the story wouldn't have suffered any.
    Not that they aren't fun, of course. :-) And on that note: damn it, Sakurai.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    [...] and a fairytale villain ('Stiltskin). Not one of these has been known for feats of magic in the way, say, Medea was.
    I don't know, spinning straw into gold seems pretty magical to me.

  11. #14711
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    Oh boy this landmine. Fiore was ONE of those who wrote the book on swordsmanship and one on one dueling. If anything his Agility rank should be higher. Think super duelist. Think Kojiro.

    There has been arguments that Agility isn't directly analogous to movement speed. I actually agree with that. Kojiro and Diarmuid are not faster than Cu Chulainn but they both have higher agility.

    IRL running has more to do with strength and endurance. That's why sprinters have thunder thighs and marathon runners generally are sort of wiry. Good coordination augments all of that, makes a runner's motions more efficient but is not the sole reason for speed. Or else acrobats and gymnasts would also be the best runners out there.

    I have no idea what the intent of the parameters are as originally envisioned, but capacity for movement is just too multifaceted to be captured all under just one trait.

    I blame tabletop rpg for creating this sort of artificial simplification and generalization.
    You make a good point. Will consider raising it to A+.

  12. #14712
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Class: Berserker
    True Name: Rapunzel
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin:
    N/A (It's never specified. The Brothers Grim were German so... Germany?)

    Strength- C+
    Endurance- B+
    Agility- C+
    Mana- C
    Luck- B
    NP- B

    Height/Weight: 170cm/55kg
    Likes: Freedom
    Dislikes: Imprisonment
    Talent: Hair Therapy
    Natural Enemy: Dame Gothel

    Class Skills:
    • Mad Enhancement (EX) - Parameters are Ranked-Up, but is deprived of most reason. Here, she has become completely obsessed with the idea of "Freedom" and while she can hold a conversation, she cannot actually understand or truly communicate with others.


    Personal Skills:
    • Alluring Nightingale (C) - A mesmerising-kind of Skill possessed by those with a beautiful and a alluring voice that charms people; it is also a declaration of exercise of power by the royalty.
    • Phoenix Tears (A+) - A skill that allows one to heal oneself and another by exposure to ones tears. Rapunzel's tears have great healing prowess and a few drops can cure blindness. At this rank, this skill is effective with any bodily fluid.
    • Princess of Loveliness (A) - The charismatic nature to charm the people around her. Just by existing, a knightly individual that protects her is pulled towards her.


    Noble Phantasm

    Ausfahrt Haft The Golden Stair (Support) (B) - Rapunzel's Noble Phantasm is the most famous thing she is connected to - her own hair. Her famous golden locks are prehensile, able to grow to great lengths and move with great strength and speed in any manner imaginable. Her hair can be used as a bludgeoning weapon to strike foes and beat them into submission or grasp objects such as cars and people. As a weapon it can be likened to both a whip and hammer simultaneously.
    Her hair can also be used with great precision, such as using strands to wrap around someone's tongue and sever to so they can't talk. If used carefully, her hair can be used as a cutting tool to make thin strands able to decapitate its target from a distance.
    However it has limitations as overexertion will use up her limited mana supply and leave her weakened although she should be able to defend herself for a time with her empowered abilities with the Mad Enhancement.


    Lore

    A lonely couple, who wanted a child, lived next to a walled garden belonging to an evil witch named Dame Gothel. The wife, experiencing cravings noticed a rapunzel plant. One night, her husband broke into the garden to get some for her, making a nice salad. It tasted so good that the wife longed for more. Her husband went a second time but Dame Gothel caught him and accused him of theft. He begged for mercy, and she agrees to be lenient, and allows him to take all he wants, on condition that the baby be given to her at birth. Dame Gothel took the child to raise as her own and names her Rapunzel after the plant her mother craved.

    The child grew up to be the most beautiful child in the world with long golden hair that she never cut. She grew up atop a tower with only one room and no door, with only a window to see the world from. Every day she longed to leave the tower. When her "mother" the Dame visited her, she stood beneath the tower and Rapunzel let down her golden hair for her adopted mother to climb. However, these visits were months in-between each other and the lack of human contact did not help with her mental state.

    One day, a prince rode through the forest and overheard Rapunzel singing from the tower. Entranced by her ethereal voice, he searched for her and discovered the tower, but is naturally unable to enter it. He returns often, due to her luring him with her beautiful singing, and one day he sees Dame Gothel visit, and thus learns how to gain access to Rapunzel. When Dame Gothel leaves, he bids Rapunzel let her hair down. When she does so, he climbs up, makes her acquaintance, and eventually asks her to marry him. Him being the best chance she had at escape, she agreed.

    Together they planned a means of escape, wherein he will come each night, and bring Rapunzel a piece of silk, which she gradually weaved into a ladder. Before the plan can come to fruition, however, she foolishly gives the prince away by innocently saying that her dress is getting tight around her waist. In anger, Dame Gothel cut off Rapunzel's hair and threw her out of the tower into the wastelands to fend for herself. Without a safe exit, she fell onto the cold hard ground but she somehow survived the impact. There was great pain but at least she was finally free. It was worth it. When the prince calls that night, Dame Gothel lets the severed hair down to haul him up. To his horror, he finds himself staring at her instead of Rapunzel, who is nowhere to be found. When she tells him in anger that he will never see Rapunzel again, he leaps from the tower in despair and is blinded by the thorns below.
    For months, he wandered through the wastelands of the country and eventually comes to the wilderness where Rapunzel with her hair regrown now lives with the twins she has given birth to, a boy and a girl. One day, as she sings, he hears her voice again, and they are reunited. When they fall into each other's arms, her tears immediately restore his sight. He leads her and their children to his kingdom. Here she lived happily ever after.

    She neither knew what happened to Dame Gothel after she left the left the tower but she does not care, as far as she is concerned, she was an oppressor who existed only to cage her up, when she was free - in Rapunzel's mind - the Dame ceased to exist. She also does not care about the identity of her parents either and never wants to see then. Considering they essentially sold their newborn daughter for vegetables, this is more than justified.

    Her Mad Enhancement has warped her personality. Here, Rapunzel's madness manifests as a fanatical obsession with the idea of freedom and as such she will turn on an "oppressor" as soon as she recognises one. She would be highly likely to turn on them as soon as possible, but would allow them to live if she judges them as an oppressor or not. However if the master shows the attitude of being "Master-Like" she would kill them on the spot with high spirits. Naturally, this makes her almost impossible to control.

    If her Master was someone who "accidental got involved in the war", it would be fully possible for Rapunzel to fight at their side right until their defeat. She is particularly compatible with the likes of Sakura Matou as Sakura's battle was forced into her position and as such is a kindred spirit yearning for freedom. But it another matter entirely whether or not they would be able to achieve victory in the Holy Grail War.


    ---------------

    So, another servant that was done more for personal amusement than anything else. Comments are still appreciated

  13. #14713
    僕はね、ヒマワリになりたかったんだ mewarmo990's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post


    True Name: Rapunzel


    that's Yang, though.

  14. #14714
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Constructman View Post
    Fiore dei Liberi
    I considered making a sheet for him, but never got around to actually starting it. Good job.


    Quote Originally Posted by Funderfullness View Post
    Frau Troffea
    So... you made the dancing plagued into a Servant, basically? Why not just go the Strange Fake Pale Rider route with it, though?


    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Mary Poppins
    As I said before, she's an amusing idea for a Servant. In canon, she'd probably be an alternate form/variation of Nursery Rhyme though.


    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Rapunzel
    As mentioned above, she'd probably just be a different version of Nursery Rhyme in canon, though who cares about stuff like that here? I do, I care. SHUT UP, ME!

    All-in-all, good job-wait a minute.

    Phoenix Tears (A+) - A skill that allows one to heal oneself and another by exposure to ones tears. Rapunzel's tears have great healing prowess and a few drops can cure blindness. At this rank, this skill is effective with any bodily fluid.
    Giggity.
    Last edited by Crying; May 25th, 2016 at 03:51 AM. Reason: Added emphasis
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  15. #14715
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    I've just realised I've made almost enough characters connected to Disney to have a grail war between them. I just need a Rider and an Assassin...

  16. #14716
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Come to Disneyland, home of the Happiest Grail War on Earth!

    I assume that Walt himself would be a Ruler presiding over the war?


    Also, I've slightly edited Baldwin IV. It was mostly just slight reformatting, but I have lowered his Magic Resistance slightly.
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  17. #14717
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    Come to Disneyland, home of the Happiest Grail War on Earth!

    I assume that Walt himself would be a Ruler presiding over the war?


    Also, I've slightly edited Baldwin IV. It was mostly just slight reformatting, but I have lowered his Magic Resistance slightly.
    Considering the ones for the Disney grail thus far is: Mulan, Pocahontas, Maid Marian, Rapunzel, Mary Poppins and Zeus... The old thunderhead may ruin everyone's good time. Then again so may the next Disney assassin... As for Walt, I may do him. One day. He'd be at the bottom of the priority list.

    Nice addition to Baldwin but I'm not certain its entirety necessary. Jeanne has the same weakness for her magic resistance and its ranked at EX

  18. #14718
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    I think that's mostly because something having the rank of EX- would be stupid.

    Even if that's not the reason, I don't really care.


    So, hey, remember when I said I'd do a Lancer next? That might turn out to be a lie due to:

    1. Not knowing who to make
    and
    2. Having non-Lancer Servants who I want to make.
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  19. #14719
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors AvengerEmiya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    So, hey, remember when I said I'd do a Lancer next? That might turn out to be a lie due to:

    1. Not knowing who to make
    and
    2. Having non-Lancer Servants who I want to make.
    Make a Sir Balin sheet, with him wielding the Lance of Longinus.
    Quote Originally Posted by Andaeus View Post
    Oh, fun! How often does a story actually leave the Idea Thread?
    Fate/Grand Order Doujins That Don't Suck [Updated: 3/2]


  20. #14720
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    I think that's mostly because something having the rank of EX- would be stupid.

    Even if that's not the reason, I don't really care.


    So, hey, remember when I said I'd do a Lancer next? That might turn out to be a lie due to:

    1. Not knowing who to make
    and
    2. Having non-Lancer Servants who I want to make.
    Lancers and Archers are the hardest classes to make, in my experience. Easiest are probably Caster or Assassin.

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