Create-a-Servant

[Vagrant]

Shiki remains in the hearts of all men, no matter what happens. He will never be forgotten. This is why he is the greatest.

[forumghost]

Seems kind of like a personal problem. Not a very constructive way of doing things, these posts.

Yeah, point taken. I'll stop now.

[KitsuneKo]

Cool, I'm gonna go repost a more balanced Temujin lat0rZ then.

But he will retain the spirit of overpower.

[JetKinen]

Archer

Faceclaim

Info

True Name:Gan Ning/Xingba(Style Name)
Alsow known as:Gan Ning of the Bells, The Pirate of the Silken Sails, The General Who Breaks and Charges
Gender:Male
Alignment:Chaotic Neutral

Parameters and Skills

STR: C
END: D
AGI: A
MGI: E
LCK: B


Class Skills


Independent Action:
B - A known and renowned Pirate in his early life, Gan Ning was known for his recklessness and independence. Later after resigning of his role as a pirate and becoming an official under many warlords, Gan Ning was still a gungho man, always being the first one volunteer to go on dangerous missions. After proving his courage, loyalty and knowledge by suggesting and going on daredevil missions so many times, he won immense respect from many including the Emperor of Wu Sun Quan who once said "Cao Cao may have Zhang Liao but I have Gan Ning. I can match him". He iscapable of remaining in this world for two days without an established contract. Also capable of living on for a short period of time after suffering extensive damage on his spiritual core.

Personal Skills


Voyager of the Storm
C - Gan Ning was not only an famous pirate, he was also excellent naval officer for the Kingdom of Wu being a key factor in many of the Kingdom's battles like the famous Battle of Chi Bi. His aptitude on the Water gave him the nickname of "The Pirate of the Silken Sails". Gan Ning can maneuver and command most naval vehicles with great ability.

Bravery
B- Gan Ning was considered by many of his countryman crazy, thanks to the way Gan Ning threw himself at the danger.He was scared of no one and was always one of the first on the battlefield. It was because of this desperado recklessness that made Gan Ning so infamous and thats why for a good time of his life he was always treated unfairly by people who only thought him as a common soldier. Gan Ning is immune to most abilities that affect his mind when he is in a situation of combat

Noble Phantasm

Gan Ning main weapon is a composite bow that he has incredible accuracy and ability with it. The bow doesn't have any particularly impressive power or ability besides being strong enough to hurt Servants

For Whom the Bell Tolls
Jingle Bells Rock
Gan Ning most famous features were the bells that he wore during his pirate days. Designed to make as much noise as possibles, the ringing of these Bells announced to anyone near that Gan Ning was near and soon became a source of fear to his foes and hope for his allies. Even after abandoning them when he became a army officer, the fame and reputation of "Gan Ning of the Bells" never stopped existing and Gan Ning until the end of his life was a feared and respected general with feats that only grew his reputation, like intimidating the legendary Guan Yu and climbing alone the walls of an enemy castle to slay a general.
This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of his reputation and takes shape as 6 Large Golden Bells attached to chains that Gan Ning wears. These bells are big, heavy and resilient enough to serve as a makeshift weapons and while Gan Ning is skilled enough to be able to use it perfectly as a weapon, they can't trade blows with other noble phantasms and he will only use it to choke and disarm the enemy in case of emergency. The real power of his bells comes not because of his destructive power but because of his other properties. When Gan Ning wears a bell and ring it(which Gan Ning can control & suppress at will), his parameters will be masked to seem higher than it actually is and he will appear to be more intimidating than he actually is. With just one bell the effect is minimal, but with all 6 bells ringing, his stats will appear to be at least two times higher and he will give off an intense aura of fear that will make normal humans faint almost immediately. His bells also have the ability of "fascination". When someone hears or see one of the bells ringing they will immediately focus on the bell or who is wearing it and will be unable to avert his eyes momentarily. Gan Ning likes to use this ability to make bombastic entrances on the battlefield
Rank C Anti-Army

The Raid
Is A Good Movie Welcome to the Violence Party
Gan Ning most famous feat was his raid at Roxu where he commanded 100 other brave men on a Night Raid on Cao Cao's camp of 400,000. After being given the order Gan Ning and his troops went through the forest, took down some barricades, breached through the walls and with a howl they laid waste on the camp slaughtering thousands of Cao Cao soldiers while they slept. When the enemy troops finally begun to understand what happened, Gan Ning and his men were long gone without suffering a single casualty. While Gan Ning and his troops threw a party back in Wu, Cao Cao demoralized armies had no option but retreat from Roxu granting the victory for the Kingdom of Wu. This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of his most famous raid.
The Noble Phantasm actually is a Broken Phantasm of his "From Whom the Bell Tolls" Noble Phantasm. If one of the bells break, the bell will explode in sound and prana. The sound is loud enough to destroy the eardrums and make people permanently deaf. The sound is of a thousand man screaming many battle cries and curses and will overlap any other sound in the area for a good time. The explosion will also create many illusions of Gan Ning with a similar effect of "fascination" that the bell had, that will keep in constant movement and constantly attacking everyone. The illusions will not hurt anyone besides people with weak mind but thanks to the sound and all the confusion created by its easy for Gan Ning to escape from combat or lay waste on a group of foes unprepared
Rank B Anti-Army

[Vagrant]

Cool, I'm gonna go repost a more balanced Temujin lat0rZ then.

But he will retain the spirit of overpower.

I'll be interested to see it. Some of the mechanical and flavour components you had were pretty sweet, it was mostly power that I had issue with. So a slightly lower-key Temujin revamp sounds good to me.

[Arch-Magos Winter]

You won't know fanwank until I do one involving one of the Victal Brothers most famous members as a Rider.

[Vagrant]

Archer

Faceclaim

Info

True Name:Gan Ning/Xingba(Style Name)
Alsow known as:Gan Ning of the Bells, The Pirate of the Silken Sails, The General Who Breaks and Charges
Gender:Male
Alignment:Chaotic Neutral

What's this? Someone I don't recall instantly? And he's a pirate? Who isn't a Rider? Excellent. I have high hopes already.

Parameters and Skills

STR: C
END: D
AGI: A
MGI: E
LCK: B


Class Skills


Independent Action:
B - A known and renowned Pirate in his early life, Gan Ning was known for his recklessness and independence. Later after resigning of his role as a pirate and becoming an official under many warlords, Gan Ning was still a gungho man, always being the first one volunteer to go on dangerous missions. After proving his courage, loyalty and knowledge by suggesting and going on daredevil missions so many times, he won immense respect from many including the Emperor of Wu Sun Quan who once said "Cao Cao may have Zhang Liao but I have Gan Ning. I can match him". He iscapable of remaining in this world for two days without an established contract. Also capable of living on for a short period of time after suffering extensive damage on his spiritual core.

Personal Skills


Voyager of the Storm
C - Gan Ning was not only an famous pirate, he was also excellent naval officer for the Kingdom of Wu being a key factor in many of the Kingdom's battles like the famous Battle of Chi Bi. His aptitude on the Water gave him the nickname of "The Pirate of the Silken Sails". Gan Ning can maneuver and command most naval vehicles with great ability.

Bravery
B- Gan Ning was considered by many of his countryman crazy, thanks to the way Gan Ning threw himself at the danger.He was scared of no one and was always one of the first on the battlefield. It was because of this desperado recklessness that made Gan Ning so infamous and thats why for a good time of his life he was always treated unfairly by people who only thought him as a common soldier. Gan Ning is immune to most abilities that affect his mind when he is in a situation of combat

Wow, this dude is simple as hell. Only three Skills? He's even managed to cut out one of his own class skills. Clearly Gan Ning cares nothing for having to face against stronger foes with deliberately self-capped skills. I like it, his stats are simple and direct and the skills get the job done. Although what job that is, since IA and VotS are both pretty conditional (who has water-based battles these days anyway?) and Bravery seems to almost never have anything to kick in to guard against. So I guess it's all just him doing what he does best.

Noble Phantasm

Gan Ning main weapon is a composite bow that he has incredible accuracy and ability with it. The bow doesn't have any particularly impressive power or ability besides being strong enough to hurt Servants

For Whom the Bell Tolls
Jingle Bells Rock
Gan Ning most famous features were the bells that he wore during his pirate days. Designed to make as much noise as possibles, the ringing of these Bells announced to anyone near that Gan Ning was near and soon became a source of fear to his foes and hope for his allies. Even after abandoning them when he became a army officer, the fame and reputation of "Gan Ning of the Bells" never stopped existing and Gan Ning until the end of his life was a feared and respected general with feats that only grew his reputation, like intimidating the legendary Guan Yu and climbing alone the walls of an enemy castle to slay a general.
This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of his reputation and takes shape as 6 Large Golden Bells attached to chains that Gan Ning wears. These bells are big, heavy and resilient enough to serve as a makeshift weapons and while Gan Ning is skilled enough to be able to use it perfectly as a weapon, they can't trade blows with other noble phantasms and he will only use it to choke and disarm the enemy in case of emergency. The real power of his bells comes not because of his destructive power but because of his other properties. When Gan Ning wears a bell and ring it(which Gan Ning can control & suppress at will), his parameters will be masked to seem higher than it actually is and he will appear to be more intimidating than he actually is. With just one bell the effect is minimal, but with all 6 bells ringing, his stats will appear to be at least two times higher and he will give off an intense aura of fear that will make normal humans faint almost immediately. His bells also have the ability of "fascination". When someone hears or see one of the bells ringing they will immediately focus on the bell or who is wearing it and will be unable to avert his eyes momentarily. Gan Ning likes to use this ability to make bombastic entrances on the battlefield
Rank C Anti-Army

The Raid
Is A Good Movie Welcome to the Violence Party
Gan Ning most famous feat was his raid at Roxu where he commanded 100 other brave men on a Night Raid on Cao Cao's camp of 400,000. After being given the order Gan Ning and his troops went through the forest, took down some barricades, breached through the walls and with a howl they laid waste on the camp slaughtering thousands of Cao Cao soldiers while they slept. When the enemy troops finally begun to understand what happened, Gan Ning and his men were long gone without suffering a single casualty. While Gan Ning and his troops threw a party back in Wu, Cao Cao demoralized armies had no option but retreat from Roxu granting the victory for the Kingdom of Wu. This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of his most famous raid.
The Noble Phantasm actually is a Broken Phantasm of his "From Whom the Bell Tolls" Noble Phantasm. If one of the bells break, the bell will explode in sound and prana. The sound is loud enough to destroy the eardrums and make people permanently deaf. The sound is of a thousand man screaming many battle cries and curses and will overlap any other sound in the area for a good time. The explosion will also create many illusions of Gan Ning with a similar effect of "fascination" that the bell had, that will keep in constant movement and constantly attacking everyone. The illusions will not hurt anyone besides people with weak mind but thanks to the sound and all the confusion created by its easy for Gan Ning to escape from combat or lay waste on a group of foes unprepared
Rank B Anti-Army

Okay. Well, the names don't fit. At all. But that's fine. Gan Ning strikes me as someone who would deliberately set about finding shitty bell puns to retitle his Phantasms with, just to troll the hell out of people.

I like the idea of him fighting using his bells, I imagine some amazing whirlwind of clanging, chiming meteor hammers swirling about him in every direction as he looms tall with fearful presence right in the centre of attention, daring anyone to attack him. It's a nice mental picture. And the Broken Phantasm variation is pretty cool too. Maybe a rather poor servant by comparison to others, but visually arresting and a cool-as-balls concept. More weak and conceptually awesome heroes are always a good thing.

[Five_X]

lolwut? There's nothing refined about "lol I have a NP that gives me access to near-unlimited NP, and is a reality Marble that is also a Marble Phantasm."

Seriously, that one element of the Character Profile has a much Wank as several of Rotheos' Xerxes.

Reading it was actually what convinced me that I would never touch MPII if I was paid for it.

Eh? There's nothing like that in Ramesses. He just has a reality marble that is "the dominion of Egypt" and all within it. There's nothing at all about getting unlimited Noble Phantasms (unless you consider various pieces of antiquated architecture to be Noble Phantasms somehow...).

[JetKinen]

Admittedly the names of the NP suck, there is no excuse on that.

I'm just awful at naming them, so Gan Ning is going to have to deal with that one Bee Gees/Metallica song and a snarky christmas carol reference for Noble Phantasm

[forumghost]

Eh? There's nothing like that in Ramesses. He just has a reality marble that is "the dominion of Egypt" and all within it. There's nothing at all about getting unlimited Noble Phantasms (unless you consider various pieces of antiquated architecture to be Noble Phantasms somehow...).

Ozymandias, King of Kings – Sonnet of the Pharaoh – EX
Anti-Army


Ramesses speaks the famous sonnet by Percy Bysshe Shelley, and by its end he and all those around him are forced into a location of Ramesses' choice relating to him, be it Abu Simbel, the Ramesseum, or the Valley of the Kings. This Reality Marble overrides any other currently present, and Ramesses has total control over the space and its very workings, with his greatest power located in Abu Simbel, though this same place is the heart of the Reality Marble and is the location of its weak point. Inside Abu Simbel Ramesses has access to dozens of other Noble Phantasms, a list of which would be too great to put here. All of these possessions can be used at will or brought out of the Reality Marble, represented best by his favoured chariot, or his death mask and the double crown of Egypt. Woe to those who find themselves trapped within this Reality Marble, as any damage done to the structures inside will return retribution to whoever dealt the damage, unless they are Ramesses himself. Those people will face an ancient curse, usually being driven mad, or even simply being poisoned. Most deadly of all, though, is Ramesses' ability to shift the structure of his Reality Marble at will, creating landscapes within his set bounds and altering the elements, the weather, and even his own location.

You're right. You limited him to a 'mere' dozens. In addition to having him auto-override any other RM (which, given the amount of wank in the Profile, I can only assume includes Gaia's) and access to what is effectively a Marble Phantasm. Oh, and any damage done to the RM is done back at the attacker.

[Five_X]

You're right. You limited him to a 'mere' dozens. In addition to having him auto-override any other RM (which, given the amount of wank in the Profile, I can only assume includes Gaia's) and access to what is effectively a Marble Phantasm. Oh, and any damage done to the RM is done back at the attacker.

Yes, dozens - and what? There's no quantitative or even qualitative rank or rating given to these dozens of unnamed Noble Phantasms, save for the three given there, which are named to be the most notable. That doesn't really say anything especially grand about the Noble Phantasms that he has, honestly. The only other Noble Phantasm that appears in the story itself, though again unnamed, is an hourglass that controls time in a limited space around the user - and it's stolen. Permanently.

The Reality Marble itself overrides any other that's around due to its strength, but that's kind of a blank point there, because how often, really, does that come up? In addition, in none of the circumstances in which it is used in the story does it override Gaia or any nonsense like that you seem to want to attribute to it. You're trying to make it seem worse than it actually is based on conjecture. As for it having the powers of Marble Phantasm... is that really exceptional? He can control anything within his reality marble because the reality marble is "Egypt" and everything within that scope. He can't change the reality marble to shove everyone into Disneyland, nor could he technically do whatever he wanted to. After all, everything requires prana to do, no matter what it is, unless it's True Magic, and this isn't that.

Your last point doesn't make sense considering the contents of the Noble Phantasm's own description. Read: "...as any damage done to the structures inside will return retribution to whoever dealt the damage, unless they are Ramesses himself. Those people will face an ancient curse, usually being driven mad, or even simply being poisoned."

That should be pretty obvious in stating that it does not, in fact, make "any damage done to the RM" be "done back at the attacker" and I don't see how you could interpret it that way. In one of the earlier chapters of the story, the reality marble was broken down by Gilgamesh, but he didn't suffer anything. What does that say to you?

I think you're just trying to find something to be mad about when evidence within the story and the character sheet both refute your claims.

[Siriel]

I sure hope a Reality Marble can override Gaia's Reality Marble, because otherwise it's not even a thing.

[Five_X]

I sure hope a Reality Marble can override Gaia's Reality Marble, because otherwise it's not even a thing.

(I'm not really sure what he exactly meant by that bit tbh)

[Vagrant]

So here's a Berserker who really, really, really needs the boost from Mad Enhancement to actually be effective at all. And even then he's still not great. So he's pretty much what Berserkers are supposed to be, as opposed to unstoppable powerhouse ragemachines.

Tawara Toda

The Village Simpleton

Class: Berserker
Alternate Classes: None

Parameters:
STR: E
END: E
AGI: D
MGI: E
LCK: E

Background & Legend

A simple man, born a peasant in the Yamato Empire, circa 365 CE, Tawara Toda was not well-reno homoded by his fellow villagers. He was a fool, he was dreamy and he was most infuriatingly stubborn when an idea set in his head, no matter how terrible the idea was. He was a man easily taken by flights of fancy, and he often daydreamed of becoming a hero like the noble soldiers and warriors of legend and lore. In order to pursue this half-baked idea of becoming a hero Tawara Toda attempted to join the military of the great and skillful emperor Nintoku.

A man with so few skills and so many laughable traits as Tawara never had a hope of successfully joining such a fierce army, but he persisted and pestered until finally a middle-ranking man made a new position for him, below even the other privates, a man whose role in the army was to tend their fields and suffer beatings from the other soldiers who needed to vent their frustrations and their violent urges. It was meant to be a deterrant that no man would ever choose to accept, but Tawara Toda was so thrilled by the simple notion of being a soldier that he gladly accepted, so the army became stuck with him. Every night he was whipped and struck but even in the pain he was happy, and in his prayers he always held his emperor in the highest reno homod and would ask Buddha to protect Emperor Nintoku, his precious lands and even the fellow soldiers who struck him so.

Neighbouring the Yamato Empire was the barbaric Izumo Empire, lawless and rough, an army that even the great might of Nintoku was loathe to approach, for they did not even uphold the standards of war and honour. The uneasy peace between the empires eventually broke down when Nintoku received word that the Isumo army was going to march on his lands, and so he immediately ordered his own men forth to fight the Izumo warriors. When Tawara Toda heard this, he was thrilled to finally be able to experience battle, but when it was his turn to collect his armour and his weapons he was turned away, the armorers scoffing at the notion that they would ever waste valuable military equipment on a fool like Toda. Dismayed, Tawara Toda set his mind to making it to that battle, and so in a show of extreme

oblivious stupidity

confidence

Toda marched up to his Emperor and demanded to be sent out with the other soldiers, as respectfully as he could forcefully muster.

The emperor Nintoku was taken aback by Tawara Toda’s audacity initially and simply refused, but when Toda pressed the issue Nintoku responded with cold, precise fury that if he would not drop the subject and return to his fields then Nintoku’s guards would burn down his house and kill his family. Tawara Toda asked once more, declaring that he knew he was a fool and a laughing stock, but also that he was more devoted to his emperor and his lands than any other man he knew. That night Tawara Toda’s family lands burned.

When Tawara Toda returned home and found his family dead and all he held dear to him destroyed, he broke. He roared at the heavens and furiously chased down Nintoku’s army, but there he did not attack the people who had ruined his life. Rather, he was like a dog that had been abused to the point of mad aggression, filled with wrath but still ever loyal to his abusive master. His anger and his madness at his loss combined with his desire to serve Nintoku and so he lept into the fray, unarmed and unprotected. In the battle he throttled and broke many Izumo warriors, even as they stabbed and shot him. He howled with pain and misery but like a wounded hound he continued to tear and strike and kill.

And when the dawn rose Tawara Toda lay still, a broken figure with a serene smile on his face, as if he had finally found that contentment he had longed for and strived for all his life, that unattainable fantasy within his grasp. Emperor Nintoku, surveying the battlefield, came across his ravaged body, and seeing the things Tawara Toda had done and the pains he had suffered for his lord even after all the mistreatment he was given, Nintoku wept. He declared Tawara Toda a hero and a brave warrior, and his trumpets sounded the song of the most devoted warrior that Yamato would ever know.

Class Skills

Mad Enhancement
Mental capacity is sacrificed in return for enhanced physical parameters. Cannot be disabled normally, and while active may inhibit some Personal Skills or Noble Phantasms.

• B: Ordinarily, Berserker is just exceptionally dimwitted, inattentive and incompetent, gaining no real bonuses to speak of. However, when his Master is threatened, or if his Master willfully causes him significant pain, Berserker falls into utter madness. He experiences the loss of almost all higher mental functions and the inability to speak at all. In return, STR and AGI are raised by two ranks each.

Personal Skills

Battle Continuation
The strength of vitality for predicaments. Also, the ability to withdraw from combat and reach allied territory alive after being defeated. May cause END to Rank Down over the long term if pushed hard at lower Ranks of this skill.

• C: Wounds that are not immediately lethal or significant in size will not incapacitate Berserker to a degree anywhere near what would be expected. However, he will succumb to the accumulated damages once battle ends.

Mental Pollution
Makes it highly possible to shut out any mental interference Thaumaturgy, due possessing a distorted mentality. However, at the same time it becomes impossible to come to an understanding with individuals that do not possess an equivalent rank of mental pollution.

• C: Provides a probability that mental interference magecraft will be rendered ineffective. In the condition that the Servant's master is of Evil alignment, and perpetrates acts of cruelty against the Servant, Mental Pollution will increase in rank, further increasing defenses against magecraft. However, as the Servant's psyche is inherently broken, this may result in irreversible deterioration. Mentality is best described as an abused dog who still will protect its wicked master out of pure animal loyalty for the one who is his entire life.

Natural Weapon
The skill of a Servant who has body parts that function as dangerous weapons, such as claws or darts, or is highly practised in some form of unarmed combat, whether it be through techniques like martial arts or through the brute strength of someone who regularly gets into drunken brawls.

• D: Berserker’s bare-handed attacks are treated as simultaneously mundane and Phantasmal, hitting at a Rank equivalent to his Strength in both categories equally.

[Petrikow]

So here's a Berserker who really, really, really needs the boost from Mad Enhancement to actually be effective at all. And even then he's still not great. So he's pretty much what Berserkers are supposed to be, as opposed to unstoppable powerhouse ragemachines.

Now I don't have to be alone! But yeah, should see some more of this "design philosophy", or whatever you wanna call it. I blame Gen for introducing another super Berserker in Zero. Herc was supposed to be the exception.

[Siriel]

Being fair, Lancelot could be defeated by any of the Servants in that war.

Hassan ganks Kariya with insulting ease.
Can't stop Cthulhu.
Saber could just Excalibur him if she wasn't freaking out.
Diarmuid counters him.
Iskander just rolls on him.
Gilgamesh.

[Petrikow]

Assassin confirmed for not existing.

[Siriel]

Well, I hadn't included him because he's not supposed to be fighting Servants to begin with.

But one of the Hassans can just walk up to Kariya and gank him. He probably then gets pasted by Lancelot, but mission accomplished.

[Totenkopf]

Kariya could just shoot bugs at Hassan and scare him off.

[Petrikow]

Seems like a good idea.