Makes sense, I suppose.Originally Posted by RoydGolden
Makes sense, I suppose.
I am new around here and this is my first attempt at creating a servant.
Class: Caster (Berserker)
Identity: Necronomicon, Kitab al-Azif
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Catalyst for Summoning: A book that contained a collection of H.P. Lovecraft's works.
Origin: American Cosmic Horror Literature
Attributes:
Strength- E
Agility- E (D-C depending on "puppet")
Endurance- D
Mana- A+
Luck- C
NP- A
History: The Necronomicon was a fictitious book that first appeared in one of H.P. Lovecraft's stories as having been written by Abdul "The Mad Arab" Alhazred in the early 8th century. The book went on to become an iconic symbol of horror thanks to its connection to the otherworldly gods of H.P. Lovecraft, the word meaning dead being part of the title, and generally being the book that contains whatever dangerous supernatural truth or spell was needed in a story. These aspects and the fact it was often sought in quest and thought to be alive in some stories combined together to allow the centuries old book to become a servant which is both the embodiment of mankind's ceaseless pursuit of knowledge which it was never meant to learn and the works of H.P. Lovecraft all rolled into one thing. While historically there have been comparisons made between the Necronomicon and the R'lyeh Text they are fundamentally different. The R'lyeh text focuses mostly on Cthulhu and his ilk while the Necronomicon focuses on eldritch knowledge overall and whose legacy is considered more powerful.
Appearance: Necronomicon is just a hardback book that would look rather plain if not for the otherworldly images scattered on the cover and its strange aura that seemingly draws people towards it to seek out what could be written within the pages. As this servant is just a book, Necronomicon summons phantomlike beings to pose as the actual servant and read from the eldritch text which allows the book to move itself. The "puppet" that the Necronomicon mostly uses looks like H.P. Lovecraft though the book is capable of summoning other personas as well such as Abdul Alhazred, Herbert West, or others that Lovecraft either created or have actually attempted to read the true Necronomicon. The book uses the "puppet's" voice to communicate to others though it does seem that the voice is coming from the book's pages rather than the holder of the book's mouth
Personality: One of the most defining traits of the Necronomicon is that it earnestly wants to spread the knowledge within its pages but is disappointed with how often the human mind breaks when just looking at the pages so its wish from the grail would be to allow humanity to safely learn the eldritch truths of the world. Certain aspects of the servant's personality changes depending on the "puppet" it is using to move around with. Examples of this personality change based on "puppet" could be that with Lovecraft the book is more arrogant yet less active while with Herbert West the book is more likely to seek out dead bodies and reanimate them while the Alhazred persona would make the servant more likely to use the spells in the book to fight others. After all every reader's interpretation of a book is different.
Likes: seekers of knowledge, anyone who can read a single page without losing their mind,
Dislikes: anyone who rejects the truth or lies about the truth, those that think its only use is for necromancy, comparisons to the R'lyeh Text
Talents: Storytelling, revealing the truth, driving people insane both intentionally and unintentionally, impersonating H.P. Lovecraft's characters
Natural Enemy: Nursery Rhyme, Nyarlathotep
Class Skills:
Territory Creation (-) - it is replaced with one of the Personal Skills: Call of the Unknown.
Item Construction (B)- It is the Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items. Due to being dangerous in the hands of normal humans, Caster has upgraded its own ability to create items to the point of creating "puppets" of others to allow it to have mobility which also look like almost perfect replicas of the original and be able to use the contents of the book safely. Additionally as the embodiment of eldritch knowledge and Lovecraft's bibliography Necronomicon has access a variety of tools to summon from within its pages mostly depending on which "puppet" it creates. Examples of items the Necronomicon can replicate multiple vials of Herbert West's reanimator serum and other items originating from the tales of Howard Phillips Lovecraft.
Personal Skills:
Call of the Unknown (A+)- The Necronomicon has always been a tome of knowledge unknown to mankind due to how dangerous it is yet this skill reflects how alluring the desire to learn secrets is despite how dangerous it can be. This skill creates a radius around the book that effects everyone, except that which originates from the book and the servant's master, causing an increasing amount of mental damage the closer one gets to the source. Just seeing the book and being in the radius is enough to be affected with an strong sense of curiosity that draws humans and servants closer to the book with the effects worsening as the affected get closer. An individual whose mental resistance or willpower can be compared to an A rank can resist being pulled towards the book altogether, B rank can resist opening the book upon reaching it and defeating anything defending the Necronomicon, but C rank and below will be called to open the book and lose their mind to the book's will as they become consumed by a desire to learn the secrets of the Necronomicon's pages. Any human or servant who becomes enthralled by the book's secrets become completely subservient to the servant and its master but is devoid of reasoning as they suffer from an effect similar to Mad Enhancement for so long as Caster uses them as its "puppet."
High-Speed Divine Words (A) - Caster's ability to draw forth spells from its pages that are connected to the gods of Lovecraft's works surpasses most magi. The power of these spells are also stronger than most due to how they are the the spells based off, or actually are, the attacks used by the outerworldly godlike creatures.
Familiar Creation (B)- Caster is capable of creating various phantomlike beings that it refers to as "puppets" to give off the illusion that the book is not the servant but rather whatever the book has summoned. Besides just humans related to lovecraft's bibliography, Caster is capable of summoning humanoid creatures that appear in the story such as Lovecraft's interpretation of ghouls among other things.
Innocent Monster (C)- Due to how different media has caused the Necronomicon to also be associated with necromancy and evil magic besides eldritch knowledge, this has reflected in both the pages and abilities of Caster. Several of Caster's pages not originally devoted to manipulation of the dead have been changed with these pages having an almost rotted appearance to those who can read the pages without going insane. Caster is usually reluctant to use the new necromancy abilities it possesses but would be capable of causing a small scale zombie apocalypse should its master order it to do so despite Caster's preference for the lovecraftian side of his powers instead of the necromancy side. "I prefer to work with tentacles than with corpses."
Noble Phantasm(s):
The Tome Out of Time- The Whisperer in the Dark (A, Anti-Unit) When all the defenses Caster has is destroyed and the end draws near this noble phantasm is the last trump card for the Necronomicon. The Tome Out of Time uses otherworldly power from within the confines of Necronomicon's pages to create the book's true ideal body which is a large shilohetted humanoid figure that is 2-D from one angle and 3-D from another. The humanoid abomination has the ability to freely change the shape of its body as needed to combat threats though it and the humanoid has Magic Resistance (A) to bolster its defense. All power comes at price and even the Necronomicon is not immune to this, the humanoid abomination has rapidly healing properties requires the creature stays in a vaguely humanoid shape as the first of several restrictions. Besides the restriction on what shape the creature must be, the noble phantasm requires such a large degree of energy that prolonged heavy intensive fighting could overwhelm the book's mana supply and potentially kill the master concerning just how mana taxing the form is. Besides the mana cost being a problem there is also the fact that the book is still in its regular form and requires its master or the humanoid to defend it because if the book gets destroyed then everything originating from it also disappears.
So I hope I didn't do too badly of a job in creating my first servant sheet. I know there are similarities to both Nursery Rhyme and the R'lyeh Text Caster!Gilles uses as a noble phantasm but I hope I made this servant just a little different than those two. Nursery Rhyme is the embodiment of her namesake plus she created a body for herself right from the start while Necronomicon is always in the form of a book and embodies the knowledge humanity is unable to learn and the Cthulhu Mythos. As I stated above concerning the R'Lyeh Text, the difference in the two is mostly about sheer scale on what they focus on and how the R'lyeh Text focuses on the Cthulhu side of the mythos while the Necronomicon focuses on the mythos as a whole with more emphasis on the outer gods than the great old ones/elder gods.
I made the parameters low outside of mana and noble phantasm because the servant is a book that relies on its "puppets" for mobility and protection. I am not very experienced with the personal skills so any advice for that section in the future would be appreciated.
I hope my first attempt at creating a servant on here wasn't too bad and any advice on how I can improve for future servants sheets would be appreciated.
Last edited by Bylackbre; October 29th, 2017 at 12:54 AM.
That's a really good sheet, eapecially for your 1st one. I like the concept of the Necronomicon itseft being summoned. However, as you admitted, the Personal Skills section feels somewhat lacking. I also noticed that the 1st and 2nd Noble Phantasm could as well be used as a Skill instead, especially the 1st 'continously active' NP. Also, the 2nd NP could as well be made into Innocent Monster Skill instead.
Nursery Rhyme & Necronomicon: *aggressively flaps pages at each other.*
I can't really add anything that 34 hasn't already said, but I can say for a first sheet it's really damn good.
34:
Thanks for the feedback and I went ahead and changed "At the Source of Madness" into the personal skill "Call of the Unknown" and turned "Necronomicon Ex Mortis" into "Innocent Monster." I am glad I managed to get some helpful input into this and was happy to see that somewhat impressed you with the first sheet.
Saron:
The joke about Nursery Rhyme and Necronomicon honestly me laugh when I read it. I want to thank you for your feedback and I am happy to have impressed you.
Necronomicon Servant reminds me of Al from Demonbane. Though yours isn't a cute girl, obviously...
Ah yes I remember Al, I figured since Necronomicon already dislikes how popular culture associates it with necromancy just imagine how annoyed it would be to learn Japan thinks it is a cute girl. Do you have any advice for how this servant character sheet could be improved RoydGolden or do you think it is alright for a first time sheet?
What happens if you stick Romulus', personality into Iskandar's body with hints of Semiramis?
<I>
Source: (X)
Name; Ahab "Please Ba'al, call me Achab."
Titles; The Wicked King
Class; Berserker/Caster/Rider
Armament: A large sword, inscribed with magical runes
Source; Historical fact, The Bible
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Attribute: Man
Traits: King, Servant, Evil
Stats:
Strength: A
Agility: B
Endurance: B
Mana: A
Luck: EX (E)
Noble Phantasm: A
Likes: Ba'al, His wife, wine
Dislikes: God, dogs
Talents: Listening to his wife
Natural Enemy: Elijah, Micaiah, Romulus
Wish: ”The glory of Israel!”
Skills
Noble Phantasm
Lore
Personality
Necronomicon seems fine. First sheet or not, it's a pretty cool and creative idea. It'd be funny if one of its 'puppets' was actually an Al-style cute girl, that it refuses to use out of indignation of course...
Al's physiology is similar to Nursery Rhyme's in that the main body is actually the book.
My only complaint for Ahab is not using a Venom Snake faceclaim, but I like it.
King Ahab: A pretty cool take on a guy I never would've imagined as a Heroic Spirit.
Even as a Berserker, his stats seem rather high for a king who never actually fought on the front lines, but there admittedly is precedent for that sort of thing already (like Caligula having A+ Strength). I probably would've given him a Jezebel-related Skill in the line of Bloodaxe's Supporting Shamanism, but you've made Ahab into the dominant sorcerer of the pair so it wouldn't really fit.
My only nitpick is that it feels odd for his grudge to be against Christianity in particular. Elijah and the other prophets were all Jewish after all, while Christianity arose far after Ahab's death.
Wouldn't many Bible villains have the Innocent Monster attribute, especially those whose "villainy" comes from them worshiping what the Bible labels "false gods" and then exaggerating from that? Though not directly related to Fate, Megami Tensei differentiates between Bael of the Ars Goetia and Baal AKA Hadad.
Maybe, though Saron seems to be running with the idea that Ba'al never existed as a real deity even in the Age of Gods.
I was debating on doing the same, but I found the idea that he was the strong magus and his wife was trying to manipulate him a more interesting idea.
He doesn't hate Christianity directly, he hates God by default. Which means he hates Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and other religions that center on the central God the prophets spoke of.
- - - Updated - - -
Hit the nail on the head. As even with a sacrifice prepared, Ba'al didn't react and the overall theme of false deities during that part of the Bible, I decided that it would be interesting as well to make a historical deity a false one instead of existing as a Divine Spirit
Class: Assassin/Archer
Identity: The Treacherous Solider, combined form of Colonel Sebastian Moran and The Tinderbox Soldier
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Origin: British Literature and Danish Fairy Tale
Parameters:
Strength- C
Agility- B
Endurance- C
Mana- D
Luck- B
NP- B
History:
The servant is actually two spirits who combined into one being to qualify for the status of servant. The two figures were Sebastian Moran and The Tinderbox Soldier.
Moran was once a decorated solider of the British army and was a very successful hunter who went on to work under Professor James Moriarty until the mastermind's death at Reichenbach Falls. Following the events leading up to Moriarty's death, Moran set into motion a plan to attempt to kill Sherlock Holmes once the detective came out of hiding. The plan failed in the end and Moran was arrested which put an end to his status as the "second most dangerous man in London." and subsequently the man faded from history.
The Tinderbox Soldier whose life changed when he encountered a witch on his way back from a war. The witch talked him into doing her a favor by climbing into a giant hollowed out tree and fetching a tinderbox for her that was guarded by three dogs of increasing size (ranging from one having eyes the size of tea cups to the largest having eyes the size of a large round table.) The soldier followed the witch's advice and peacefully subdued the canines and acquired as much gold as he could hold within his clothes before returning to the witch with the tinderbox. The nameless soldier asked the witch what made the tinderbox special but after she refused the soldier threatened to decapitate her if she doesn't tell him. The Soldier sliced off the witch's head without hesitation as soon as the witch said no a second time with the man then using her apron to help him carry the gold and the tinderbox to the nearest kingdom. After spending all the gold the soldier discovered that striking the tinderbox allows him to summon the dog that corresponds to the number of times the tinderbox was struck. The solider used this newfound power to acquire money the dogs would bring him as well as using the dogs to kidnap a locked away princess mutliple times before he was arrested. While in prison the soldier manipulated a child into bringing him the tinderbox from his home which he then used before he was to be executed to kill off the judges, king, and queen. The soldier was then crowned king after this massacre and the dogs led the people into cheering for the new king as he took the locked up princess as his queen.
Appearance:
The Treacherous soldier does not have any real outstanding features besides his old military uniform and equipment he carries. The uniform is obviously an old officer uniform but for which military is indeterminable. An unremarkable hunting rifle is strung across the servant's back while a sword commonly used by infantry many years ago stays sheathed on his hip. The tinderbox is kept hidden in a pocket within the jacket that The Treacherous Soldier wears. Overall the servant's appearance wouldn't make him stand out too much in a crowd should he hide his weapons and changed out of his old uniform. The fact that the servant doesn't stand out is one that he greatly appreciates as an assassin and soldier as the more attention you draw to yourself the more likely you are to die and being unmemorable makes his job of being an assassin so much easier.
Personality:
The Treacherous Soldier is very much the stereotypical cold sniper with his first impression. This is a cold and calculating man who observes before acting. Beneath this persona is a servant that is driven by loyalty and his own ambitions courtesy of Moran and The Tinderbox Soldier respectively. He is more than willing to cheat to win what he wants and will persistently pursue his prey even if he has wait patiently for extended periods of time. The fact that the servant considers his loyalty to be a key attribute of his yet is also known as The Treacherous Soldier is not lost on the servant. Both spirits that combined to create the servant did indeed betray others in life, Moran betrayed the public opinion of himself by being revealed to be an extremely dangerous criminal while The Tinderbox Soldier betrayed the witch he agreed to help and the populace of the kingdom whose rulers he had killed and replaced with himself.
Likes: Hunting, Money, dogs, working for Moriarty, and loyalty
Dislikes: Big cats, detectives, people who become nosy
Talents: Hunting, obeying orders, and killing people
Natural Enemy: Sherlock Holmes, magic users who refuse to answer questions, Hans Christian Andersen
Class Skills:
Presence Concealment (C)- Ability to conceal one's aura from others, though it must be dropped before attacking. The Soldier is using Moran's own skill who was able to successfully hunt tigers without much danger and almost got the drop on Sherlock Holmes at one point.
Independent Action (B)- It is possible for a Servant to stay in the world for two days without a Master.
Magic Resistance (C-A)- Neither man who combined themselves into one being had much need to be able to resist magical effects though influences from The Tinderbox Soldier allows for minor resistance to magic thanks to him decapitating a witch with ease and prolonged exposure to the magical tinderbox. The rank increases when a certain noble phantasm is in use
Personal Skills:
Marksmanship (A)- Moran was an expert hunter and sniper with Sherlock Holmes being the only "prey" to have survived against him and only because Holmes outsmarted Moran. Moriarty's Chief of Staff was also credited by Sherlock Holmes as being "one of the best shots in the world."
Double Summon (B)- Thanks to the spirits of The Tinderbox Soldier and Sebastian Moran combining into one servant, The Treacherous Soldier is capable of using class skills from both the Assassin Class and Archer Class.
Golden Rule (C)- This skill is only at this rank due to The Tinderbox Soldier was capable of summoning larges amounts of gold and silver courtesy of the largest and middle dog who would bring him some upon being summoned each time and allowed him to live the life of luxury.
Instinct (C)- Both Moran and The Tinderbox Soldier possessed the instinct to survive on the frontlines of a war as well as dodge bullets aimed at them. This skill does not help with seeing in the future but rather it allows Treacherous Soldier to know how to counter incoming attacks as well as instinctively know where his opponent is within a certain radius to better avoid and set up ambushes.
Noble Phantasm(s):
The Silent Rifle- Rifle That Hunted the Legendary Detective (C, Anti-Unit) Moran's rifle is the first and main noble phantasm of The Treacherous Soldier which was originally described as "a silent air rifle that fired revolver bullets." The true power of this weapon is that when combined with a successful presence concealment, the servant is almost certain to critically wound or kill the target regardless of magical protection and even if the shot should be impossible for the rifle. If the target is aware of the servant's presence then the attack loses this special ability and is just a regular servant enhanced air rifle until the next assassination attempt.
Nameless Soldier's Sword- The Heads of Witches Will Roll (B, Anti-Magi) Building off the legend of how the soldier remorselessly decapitated the witch when she refused to answer his question, this sword specializes in killing foes who use magic in fights. The usage of the sword increases the soldier's ranks in strength, agility, endurance, and luck by one rank against casters and other magic uses as well as increasing magic resistance to the rank of A. Besides boosting the servant against magic users, the sword also rewrites cause and effect when delivering a fatal blow against magic users so that the cause of death is always decapitation.
The Tinderbox- Release the Hellhounds of War (A, Anti-Unit) The legendary tinderbox is the final noble phantasm of this servant. The servant can use this deceptively dangerous weapon for two purposes: summon the hellhounds connected to the tinderbox to supply the servant and his master with money or be sent to aid in a fight. Striking the tinderbox once summons the smallest hellhound of the trio which is still larger than most dogs and is covered in copper armor. Striking the box twice in quick succession calls forth the middle hellhound whose eyes are the size of large plates and is coated in silver armor to protect itself with. Lastly if the tinderbox is struck three times in succession the largest of the dogs arrive covered entirely in incredibly durable gold armor. The strength of these hounds were such that in the original story when they tossed the king and queen into the air they shattered into pieces upon making crashing back down to the ground. Even if the hounds are destroyed, so long as the tinderbox stays intact the servant can resummon the fully restored hellhounds after an hour, day, or three days for each dog respectively from smallest to largest.
So that was my second attempt at making a servant. I was originally just going to have the servant be The Tinderbox Soldier but I was not sure his legend would qualify him to actually be a servant so I decided to go with the FGO Moriarty/Lobo route and have him combine with another figure to justify the status as a servant. Sebastian Moran was chosen due to his marksmanship and because he was the first idea I had after being reminded of how FGO justified Moriarty and Hessian Lobo.
I can understand if the choice of calling this servant The Treacherous Soldier doesn't make sense nor the Archer/Assassin class combination. Originally I was going to refer to this combined servant as "The Soldier Who Became A King" but that seemed like a mouthful and while The Tinderbox Soldier was originally planned to be the primary servant in this combined form, more and more of Moran started to appear until that original name wouldn't have fit as well. If someone has a name that could work better then be my guest and suggest it because who knows I might just change it to that. As for the Archer/Assassin combo I was kinda inspired by what was done with Semiramis being an Assassin/Caster combo plus the fact that this is two spirits who combined into one body so it would be a little more understandable for this servant to be two classes in one from my point of view though I may be wrong. If it would be better I could just take out the Archer aspect so that it would just be an Assassin and take out the Double Summon Skill. Also if anyone has any better names for the rifle and sword NP I would be more than willing to listen as I was honestly drawing a blank for the sword and rifle and just thought of something at the last second.
Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated and I just pray I didn't do too bad of a job with this servant.
Last edited by Bylackbre; October 27th, 2017 at 05:35 PM.
Just had time to skim this one (about to go out for dinner), but couldn't it go over in the current contest that's been going on?
I literally just found this website yesterday and just stumbled upon what you were talking about as I am typing this. I am going to go ahead and transplant that second servant of mine other there. Thanks for the information.
But that's just what the Bible said, right? The Mesopotamian Hadad predates the Judeo-Christian Bible, doesn't it?
Saron is allowed to decide what version of the legend to base his Servant off of. If you want to see another take on Ahab/Ba'al that badly, write your own sheet.
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