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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #4641
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    It was a nod the the AUO cast off Gil did in Extra CCC. I had already given Golden Rule at this point and figured that Natural Body would add more than Golden Rule (Wealth & Body).
    Gilgamesh himself is somebody who almost assuredly would've had Natural Body had the Skill been invented yet, given the multiple times in the namesake epic where his body is explicitly described as crafted by the gods to be as beautiful and splendid as possible, befitting of the "perfect king".

  2. #4642
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    He[d prolly have the same double-type Golden Rule that Cleo does.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  3. #4643
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    They could have given it to him in F/GO, in any of his versions, but didn't.

    Also, considering you made it a genderbent, I would've expected to see something regarding the fact she has Nungal as part of her name. Hell, even without the sex change, the name Ur-Nungal should've been the foundation from which that Servant is built. Unless, of course, you just want yet another "Lesser Gilgamesh".
    Last edited by Daneel Rush; February 21st, 2017 at 11:58 PM.

  4. #4644
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Also, considering you made it a genderbent, I would've expected to see something regarding the fact she has Nungal as part of her name. Hell, even without the sex change, the name Ur-Nungal should've been the foundation from which that Servant is built. Unless, of course, you just want yet another "Lesser Gilgamesh".
    ... Ok, I forgot about that Goddess. Implementing that into the sheet now.

    May end up reworking it entirely.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; February 22nd, 2017 at 03:46 AM.

  5. #4645
    Thinking about a King Porus sheet. His army killed Bucephalus, he was said to have Iskander at spear-point, and Iskander sustained the arrowshot wound that would kill him in their battle.

    Fate canon had Macedonian Army in high spirits even after India, right? Why'd he retreat after "conquering" India rather than continuing to Oceanus?

  6. #4646
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PBlades View Post
    Thinking about a King Porus sheet. His army killed Bucephalus, he was said to have Iskander at spear-point, and Iskander sustained the arrowshot wound that would kill him in their battle.

    Fate canon had Macedonian Army in high spirits even after India, right? Why'd he retreat after "conquering" India rather than continuing to Oceanus?
    His men got really fucking tired, so they had to rest before kicking face.

  7. #4647
    Class: Shielder (Saber, Archer)
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Gender: Male
    Source: Mythological
    Place of Origin: Thailand

    Height & Weight: 170 cm, 66 kg
    Likes: Rama, Sita, Filial piety
    Dislikes: Impertinent people unsuitable for Onii-chan trying to gain his affection.
    Talents: Not dying
    Natural Enemy: Indrajit
    Attribute: Heaven
    Element Affinity: Moon

    Personality: A loyal man, above all else. Humbly and freely giving his all for his brother, he exemplifies the family virtue espoused in Eastern culture. The concept of xiōngdì, proper relationship between an older and younger brother describes him perfectly – as Lao Bei infamously states “Wife and children are like attires, Brothers like limbs. We can mend torn clothes, but who can attach lost limbs?" While he is a moral man, adherent to the concept of Dhamma, he willfully discards all other consideration for the sake of his brother. This
    distortion
    belief
    is akin to a certain French baron – The action of
    Dhamma
    Rama
    is in accordance with
    Rama
    Dhamma
    , and those who opposes him are in violation of
    Rama
    Dhamma
    – no matter what. Separate from Rama, he is a fighter at heart, unbending in the faces of adversaries and taking on challenges with bravery. His skills reflect this determination to avoid dying, as that meant the cessation of his service to Rama.

    Parameters:
    STR: A
    END: A+
    AGI: C
    MGI: B
    LUK: D
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance: A
    Self-Field Defense: B
    A power displayed when protecting allies or an allied camp. Exhibits damage reduction surpassing the defensive limit value, but he himself is not affected. Rather than increasing the range of protection, his version manifests as “Absolute Damage Negation”; no damages, even those surpassing his defensive capabilities, will passes onto his wards.

    Personal Skills:
    Divinity: C
    Guardian Knight: A
    Battle Continuation: B++
    "Because it's Battle Continuation, it is not embarrassing no matter how many times I appear!" Rather than a skill to keep on fighting, this rank denotes the fact that his HP=1 even after receiving a fatal blow. At this rank, he will remain in the world for 30 turns even after sustaining fatal damage and can perform an END check to avoid taking further damage. He also recovers rapidly, getting a bonus to being healed with medical magecraft and being resistant to “incurable” blows – it is likely that he’d recover fully.

    Noble Phantasms:

    Lakshmana Rekha
    Type: Anti-Demon, Anti-Unit
    Rank: A+
    Range: 1~10
    Targets: 1~30

    A nameless holy weapon he obtained after an immensely powerful Rakshasa, who received a boon from Brahma and mistaken the spontaneous manifestation of the weapon to be the god taunting him, threw it away in anger. He tried to forcefully get it back from Lakshamana, so he was cleft easily in twain.

    A kris that bathed in the blood of countless enemies in defense of his beloved brother, sister-in-law and city. Upon activation through an incantation and drawing the line on the ground, generates a field of absolute defense – people behind the line cannot be targeted for as long as they remain behind this line. If they were to be damaged, such as through indiscriminate firing or AoE attacks, all damages are transferred to Shielder instead.

    A simple NP for a simple man – so long as he stands, no one will harm his
    Rama
    Master
    .

    Legend:
    Spoiler:
    True Name: Lakshamana
    Alias: Phra Lak, Doorkeeper, The Original Brocon

    Lakshmana (Lak in Ramakein derivation) was born in Ayodhya to Sumitra and King Dasharatha. He is an incarnation of Shesha, the multiple-headed King of all Nāga who is said to hold all the planets of the universe on his hoods in the primordial ocean of milk (Kshirasagara), as well as being the throne of Lord Vishnu. When Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as Rama, Shesha follows. When Sage Vishwamitra takes Rama for killing the demons, Lakshmana accompanies them and goes to Mithila with them.

    During the Swayamvara, the ancient practice of choosing a husband from among a list of suitors, Lakshmana and his brother attended the ceremony. Sita's father, King Janeka sets the condition that Sita would marry only that person who would be able to string Pinaka, the bow of the god Shiva. All the other kings and angels were unable to string the bow nor even picks it up, until it is Lakshmana's turn. Touching the bow, he found that he could lift it—but, upon noticing that Rama and Sita fancy each other, he bows out of the contest. Rama and Sita are wedded, and Lakshmana would marry Sita's sister, Urmila.

    When Rama goes on exile, Lakshmana follows his brother and sister-in-law. Despite protests from Urmila, he forbade her to follow him - wanting her to tends to his family -nor to shed a tear. Despite seeing her husband departure or his father's death, Urmila never sheds a single drop of tear; such is her loyalty. As an aside, Ur- has the meaning of "Heart" and -Mila has the meaning of "One who finds"; clear connotations that Urmila, despite being minor in role in the epic, possess an enduring love for Lakshmana like the one shared by Rama and Sita.

    During the golden deer episode, he was tasked to guard Sita while Rama attempts to capture the deer. Hearing a sound of pain—actually, that of a shapechanger who imitates Rama's voice—the distressed Sita pleaded with him to checks up on Rama. Moved by his sister-in-law's tears, he obeyed her, drawing a parameter line that would come to be known as Lakshmana Rekha. He told her that she would be safe inside, but that his protection won't be enough if she crosses the line for any reason. The Rakshasa Demon-king Ravana (Totsakan in Ramakein derivation), shape-shifted to appear as a beggar, would ask alms of her and in so doing tricks her into crossing the line, negating Lakshmana's protection. Lakshman Rekha, in modern parlance, refers to a strict convention or a rule, never to be broken. It often refers to the ethical limits of an action, traversing which may lead to undesirable consequences. Incidentally, Lakshmana Rekha wasn't present in every version of the epic, though in ones that it is present it was thought that Ravana was incapable of crossing this line, thus necessitating the trickery.

    During the war with Ravana, he notably slays Ravana's sons Indrajit and Atikaya.

    Additionally, in four separate episodes, he'd be struck by Noble Phantasm-class divine weapon, reaches a point of certain death, then recovers miraculously. This follows the format of: "NP will become perfect if so-and-so ritual is performed. So-and-so ritual is disrupted, usually by Hanuman. The artifact is used anyway, two times on Lakshmana and two times on someone else - only for Lakshmana to interposes himself in the weapon's path, being struck to the point of near death. Vibhishana (Phipek in Ramakein derivation) told Rama how to cures him. Rama had his lieutenant; usually Hanuman, goes on a quest to get so-and-so to create a healing tonic, curing Lakshmana. Lakshmana recovers fully. Rinse, lather and repeat.

    Spoiler:
    Mogkhasak - A Magic Spear that reflects the Dhamma of its wielder; Kumbhakarna's cleansing ritual was disrupted by Hanuman. The lethal weapon pierced Lakshmana's chest, giving him an incurable wound. Rather than dying immediately, he managed to cling to life - still, he'd surely die come sunrise. Hanuman manages to save him by dragging the Sun to keep it from rising, and then convincing him to delays his arrival once that proves unsustainable. This reprieve gives him enough time to gather the necessary herbs from various parts of the world to save him.

    Naga Pasha - The arrow was to be imbued with all the poisons of the Nagas, but the ritual was disrupted by one of Rama's monkey lieutenant. Indrajit shot the arrow, which turns into countless Nagas that bound and sent Lakshmana and the monkey army into a deathlike sleep. Rama manages to save him by calling on the Garuda King to eats and chases away all the Nagas.

    http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Brahmastra - The arrow Brahmastra fired by Indrajit would have struck Rama for certain, but Lakshmana interposes himself between his brother and the projectile. There was a ritual to perfects the arrow which was disrupted by Hanuman, and the chronically near-death Lakshmana would be saved by Hanuman.

    Kapilavastu - Spear and personal armament of Ravana. Once again, struck Laskmana directly once he interposes himself between Vibhishana and the weapon. Once again, near death. Once again, saved by Hanuman.


    After the war, when Rama asked Sita to give test of her chastity by going through flame, Lakshmana for the first time got angry at Rama and opposed him.

    Despite this, he'd remain loyal to his beloved brother. Sage Durvasa appears at Rama's doorstep and seeing Lakshmana guarding the door, demands an audience with Rama. At the time, Rama was having a private conversation with Yama, the God of Death and Underworld. Yama has extracted a promise from Rama that anyone who interrupts the meeting must be relived of their life. Lakshmana refuses to admit the Sage, who grew angry and threaten to curses all of Ayodhya unless Lakshmana would inform Rama of his arrival. Deciding that he alone dying is the better outcome, he interrupts the meeting and later gives up his life at the banks of the river Saryu.

    In Ramayana, he was depicted as wrathful and reckless, and his cutting the noses and ears of Shurpanakha, Ravana's sister, was Ravana's justification for abducting Sita, and Rama's subsequent quest to regain her. In Ramakein, however, he was depicted as loyal and obedient, the golden-skinned god of compassion and love (Lak is a homophone of Ruk, or Love in the Thai language) to the green-skinned god of war and conquest, Rama.


    Faceclaim:
    Spoiler:







    Notes:
    Spoiler:
    He’s a joke servant that got way out of hand, basically. The joke is that this guy, brother to the protagonist Phra Ram, was brought to a shonenesque blink of death four separate times, necessitating Hanuman to saves his ass. Then he’d recover fully, like nothing ever happens, only for the cycle to continue. There’s also an absurd Shakespearean episode where he was shot and fainted, then Rama found him and, thinking he dies, faints as well, then Sita found him and, thinking he died, faints.

    According to legend, he is Rama’s equal in martial arts, greater at swordplay but weaker at bowmanship. He bested Indrajit, who beat Indra, King of Devas and Atikaya who wore an invincible armor gifted from Brahma. On the one hand, those guys were Eternal Arms Mastership-tier. On the other hand, he also lost several times, usually due to tanking a NP in the chest.

    A theoretical Lakshmana Alter would twist his loyalty into possessive love - "I must protect Onii-chan's smile!" type Servant that'd chains his Master in the basement.

    His wish for the Holy Grail? “For an opportunity to serves Rama, even one day more”
    Last edited by Aodyssey; February 22nd, 2017 at 11:35 AM.

  8. #4648
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    A question: Would a Forest spirit like a Leshy from Slavic lore work as a normal Servant or an False Servant?

  9. #4649
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    A question: Would a Forest spirit like a Leshy from Slavic lore work as a normal Servant or an False Servant?
    Ehy not both?

    a dual servant with one version being the True, and the other the False one made of legends.

  10. #4650
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Hmm, that's a good place to start.

    Thanks!

  11. #4651
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Final revisions made to Ur-Nungal a little bit back. Should be done and up to standards now. Feel free to take a look if you want.

  12. #4652
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Final revisions made to Ur-Nungal a little bit back. Should be done and up to standards now. Feel free to take a look if you want.
    She's a whole lot more creative now, that's for sure. Necromancy and her new second NP work wonders in setting her apart from the other take on her I've seen.

  13. #4653
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Asunder's Avatar
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    Was there ever a rider Diarmuid sheet with his hound and magic boat?

  14. #4654
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Donno

    Even so, just make one of your own
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  15. #4655
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asunder View Post
    Was there ever a rider Diarmuid sheet with his hound and magic boat?
    Summer event 2017 hopefully.

  16. #4656
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Note: FCs TBA
    True Name: Erlang Shen
    Class: Lancer
    Alternate Classes: Saber, Berserker
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Attribute: Star


    Strength: A
    Endurance: B
    Agility: A+
    Mana: B
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: EX


    Likes: Justice, Subduing Dragons
    Dislikes: The Celestial Jade Emperor, Tricksters, The Sun


    Skills

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance: (A+)
    Erlang Shen, in life, was the nephew of the Celestial Jade Emperor himself, and fought against Sun Wukong, one of the greatest masters of Taoist Magecraft in history. He defeated many Dragons, restraining them with his martial might before sealing them away, tore a Demonic Beast from the inside out, and even descended into the Underworld to ensure his mother and father would reside among the heavens in death, though they had broken the celestial laws by marrying and having children. His resistance to magic of all kinds is A-ranked due to these feats of defying mysteries, and due to his Mystic Eye, he also is completely immune to illusion-based magecraft.


    Personal Skills:
    Mystic Eye, Truth-Revealing Eye of Heaven: (A+)
    At birth, Erlang Shen was gifted with the Eye of Heaven, a mystical eye that was embedded into his forehead, and took the form of a white tear-drop shaped pearl. It’s conceptual basis is that it ‘reveals the Truth’, and thus, it renders any illusions that it gazes upon nullified, as well as revealing the initial state of an object or person before any magical effects, be they blessings, curses, or otherwise. Mind-altering effects and abilities all vanish under its gaze, from hypnosis, to curses of seduction, to even Mad Enhancement, though affects ranked higher than C-rank will resume once he averts his gaze. Abilities such as Tsubame Gaeshi, Reality Marbles, Avalon, Ea, and similar abilities, cause slight interference with the ability, as they ‘change the truth’ to suit them. An effect that is unlikely to manifest in a normal grail war[As if those existed….] is that servants that did not actually exist, such as a certain False Assassin, receive a rank-down in parameters against this ability, as their ‘false history’ is erased. This ability can also be used to imitate having Clairvoyance at B-rank and Eye of the Mind[False] at C-rank, revealing both the truth of what he sees and the truth of his opponent’s actions, or in other words, giving him greater perception of the world around him and revealing the conditions of battle around him objectively.

    Feints and other maneuvers that require concealing the truth of one’s actions automatically are seen through with this ability. In addition, lying is impossible against one with this Mystic Eye, as it reveals the intent of other’s words. For instance, Archer telling Tohsaka that he’s not Emiya would be seen through as a partial lie, as well as revealing Archer is lying to conceal a hidden agenda. Sakura saying ‘I’m fine’ would light up this skill like a usage of Excalibur illuminates the night sky, as it reveals the truth behind her words, such as the fact that she’s lying to prevent Shirou from finding out about her family and their practices. Kirei Kotomine saying that he’s ‘just the overseer for this war’, would cause this skill to start flaring like crazy, as even though he does not explicitly lie, his intention is still to obscure the Truth.

    The greatest power of this ability, however, is to reveal the truth of Nothingness that is at the heart of reality. Upon activation, it creates a beam of nothingness along a narrow ray that shoots out from the Eye, which can be widened for additional Prana. The effect is similar to Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, save that instead of revealing the points and lines that define existence, it simply reveals that all existence dissolves into nothingness. It is a very edgy ability, and one he does not particularly like to use. Though the beam itself is very dangerous, being a manifestation of Entropy, and thus, almost impossible to resist, it can be dodged rather easily , so long as a Servant has D-ranked agility or above, or a skill like Eye of the Mind that allows them to predict the beam. Avalon would be resistant to this ability, as it is the Utopia that exists beyond Reality, and immune to such petty things as Entropy. Ea just plows right through it, as it is the manifestation of the Beginning of the World, and there’s not much Entropy at, well, the beginning of all things. Reality Marbles , however, will find the mana required to sustain it increases by a massive amount, as it actively attempts to erode their reality itself, as even the Wolrd will end in time. Essentially, it is a conceptual blast of ‘The Truth of the End of All Things’, that attempts to impose the concept of ‘the End’ on whatever is in it’s path, utilizing the inevitable conclusion of all existence. This ability is far more mana-consuming than it’s usual use, equivalent to utilizing a A-ranked noble Phantasm, as long as the beam is being fired. Do not ask him to also yell ‘KAMEHAMEHA’ or ‘I’M FIRIN MAH LAZAR’, or any such jokes. Please.

    72 Transformations: (B+)
    Erlang Shen, among his other abilities, was able to turn into a large variety of animals and objects. He most famously used this to match the Monkey King’s transformations, and ultimately bested him in the art with his Mystic Eye. Though he was unable to defeat the Monkey King in outright combat without assistance due to the Monkey King’s trickery and cunning, he was able to match the Monkey King’s contest of transformations. Thus, he can turn into anything from a Celestial Lion, to a flock of eagles, to a house. The vast potential of this ability gives him the capacity to be very versatile, though he does not often use this ability to trick an opponent or hide without his Master either suggesting it, asking for it, or simply commanding him to do so. This ability is a variant of Monstrous Strength at C-rank, except it applies to any physical parameter of his choice.

    Divinity: (B-)
    Erlang Shen was the nephew to the Celestial Jade Emperor, the head of the Chinese Pantheon. His divine blood granted him his Mystic Eye and his power of Transformation. However, Erlang Shen , unlike other Chinese Demigods and Immortals, more often than not ignored his divine heritage in favor of walking amongst mortals and fighting for the common people. Though he did not act against heaven, for fear of disturbing the celestial balance and bringing ruin upon the world, he bore a massive antipathy for the Celestial Court, and held no regard for it other than to stop the Monkey King from conquering it to maintain the balance of the world, and ensuring his mother and father’s afterlives there remained happy. Due to his strong disregard for the Gods, he essentially has Divinity at effectively C rank, though the fact that he is known as a Hero-God does cause his divinity to fluctuate between B and C rank.


    Audacious Countenance: (A)
    Erlang Shen held no fear of anything in Heaven, Hell, or Earth. Be it the worst demons from down below, the mightiest celestial legions, or the most vexing dragons. He mastered the arts of war enough to defeat the ten Sons of the Celestial Emperor with naught but mortal skill and courage. Thus, this skill grants bonuses to damage resistance when opposing enemies with higher ranks of Mystery. Similar to Oda Nobunaga’s status as a killer of mystery, this instead embodies a defiance of mystery. Beings that are made of mystery, such as Dragons, Demons, Deities, spirits of Gaia or Alaya, Dead Apostles, TYPES, and similar entities find their attacks and abilities receive one rank down in effectiveness against him. Beings that are only related to such beings of mystery, such as a half-dragon like Arturia, demigods such as Hercules, only find a slight decrease in effectiveness.






    NP
    Noble Phantasms
    Howling Celestial Dog
    A Very, Very Good Boy
    - [Anti-Personal/Anti-Sadness] Rank (B++)
    Erlang Shen wielded many great and terrible powers in his battles. He fought dragons and gods, and even the Monkey Sage himself, besting them all with martial skill and his blood-granted gifts... And no matter what, alongside his loyal dog. Thus, whenever he’s summoned, so will his faithful and trusty companion. It is a comparatively weak Divine Beast, that looks like an ordinary Corgi . It has a red armored collar and iron scaled plate on it’s sides, as well as a nice helmet. It’s main purpose is not to kill foes, but to hinder them, a task it does so with surprising ability, able to decrease the effectiveness of even the Monkey Sage by biting his leg. The dog’s bites decrease two parameters of Erlang’s choice; strength , endurance, or agility, by one rank in combat. It is able to do this regardless of the opponent’s power , and is also capable of surviving inordinate violence. As long as Erlang Shen is alive, it will be effectively impossible to catch and kill, able to evade attacks with almost mocking skill, hiding behind bushes to evade supersonic arrows, running up to sit on the top of a building to evade a flood, and more ridiculous antics. This evasion is simply a fact unto Destiny itself, it’s constant defiance of greater powers in life having allowed it to ascend into an existence of a Heroic Spirit. Simply put, no matter what foe it fights alongside Erlang Shen, it exists alongside Erlang, as a fact of Destiny. Even Enkidu, the chains that bound the Bull of Heaven, will be unable to bind this Divine Beast so long as Erlang is alive and also unconstrained, as the dog will simply slip away from the attempt just as it had slipped away from the attacks and flailing of countless Gods and Demons. Other than it’s active effect, the dog acts as a permanent ally with a very low mana cost to maintain, and is perpetually loyal. It’s parameters are equivalent to a servant with all D-ranked stats, and since it’s technically a Heroic Spirit, it also can go into spiritual form, and has the skill Instinct at C-rank.

    Erlang Shen values this NP the most, as despite what mighty powers he may wield, a loyal companion is something priceless beyond compare. Also, it is inimical to sadness, and a Master or allied Servant that is down in the doldrums that meets it will at least have a slight decrease in depression. This cheering-up effect is improved if one feeds it meat or bones. Allowing it to play [or attempt to play] with another familiar or divine beast will lighten anyone’s heart, at least for a moment. It especially likes to chew on demonic beings.

    For obvious reasons, Gilgamesh does not possess the origin of this Noble Phantasm within his Gate of Babylon. If he had a dog, maybe he might have not been such an asshole. Though, the fact that he can’t catch it without catching Erlang as well deeply annoys him.


    Three-Pointed Spear
    The Defeat of Dragons, The Devastation of Demons, The Defiance of Deities
    - [Anti-Personal/Anti-Army/Anti-Fortress]
    Rank (C~A)
    The Spear that Erlang Shen held when he faced innumerable foes, it contains the history of his battles against the three foes that he had the greatest renown for. Dragons, Demons, and Divine Spirits. It’s passive effect is to simply be an A-ranked noble phantasm weapon, that deals three times the damage against enemies of a Demonic, Draconic, or Divine nature. It has three active effects, and each effect is activated in a different way, using one of the three parts of it’s True Name.

    This first effect invokes his sealings of various flood dragons, as a folk hero representing hydraulic engineers who beat back the floods of China’s great rivers. Shen stabs his spear into the Earth, calling forth the first part of the spear’s True Name: ‘The Defeat of Dragons: Three-Pointed Spear’. Ribbons of flowing water appear around a selected enemy he is facing, forming a set of binding ropes wrapped them that imprisons them to the spot. With this first effect, Erlang Shen invokes both his binding of rampaging dragons by imprisoning them with chains and/or water, and how it represented actually controlling floods utilized canals. This roots the enemy to the spot, preventing movement. However, though they cannot change from their current position, they can still fight and move, albeit with their agility reduced by one rank. Draconic beings trapped thus have all their physical parameters down-ranked, along with their luck parameter. Dragons or Draconic beings imprisoned in these chains require strength of at least A+-rank to break free . However, draconic beings with a legend pertaining to escaping bonds and prisons, or non-draconic beings, only require B-ranked strength to be released from their bonds, and be able to freely move. Regardless, even if they escape, they will still have some of the bindings affecting them, retaining whatever decrease they have to physical parameters, until 24 hours have elapsed, at which point the constraints finally dissipate.

    The second effect utilizes his legend of entering the underworld to rescue his mother, and the old folktales that would warn children to have filial piety, or Erlang Shen, who had done so much for his parents, would find their actions shameful and strike them with thunder. It manifests by Shen preparing to charge in a direction, prana flowing into his body. He intones the second part of it’s true name, ‘The Devastation of Demons: Three-Pointed Spear’, and then he moves as if he was dashing forward. instead of it being physically him that is charging forward, it is a copy made of lightning and prana that attacks with all his skill, and as if it had the stats of a servant with D-ranked parameters, though it’s Agility ranking is effectively C-ranked due to it’s status as Lightning. However, it does not sustain itself, and its attack is,though skilled, is reckless, and is more akin to if Lancer was a Berserker, than Lancer’s actual combat style. It’s sole goal, which it is willing to give it’s own existence for, is to press against the enemy and get as deep into the center of an enemy formation as it can. This is because after a set number seconds decided by Shen, up to a maximum lifetime of twenty seconds, or when it is killed, it will activate a C-ranked Anti-Army effect, that creates a wave of lightning that damages enemies caught in it’s radius.

    The Third and final effect originates from his battle with his splitting of Mount Tao in defiance of the Heavenly Bureaucracy. It is begun by Shen raising his spear and pointing it straight up into the sky, as he speaks the final part of the True Name, ‘The Defiance of Deities: Three-Pointed Spear’. He gathers power , charging his spear with Prana, before he strikes down upon the Earth, creating a crack that moves forward quickly, which acts as if it was an B+-ranked Anti-Fortress effect. Anything around the enormous crack is damaged, the prana flowing from Shen to the end of the crack like a river of energy. It replicates his unfortunate feat of breaking his divine mother’s prison…. Which allowed her to be killed by the Celestial Jade Emperor’s sons. Thus, It also breaks apart divine protections and benefits from the divine beings in it’s effect area. Any Noble Phantasms or skills derived from their divine powers, that would benefit them, are temporarily considered unusable for about two seconds, a period of time only open for Shen to make an attack when his opponent is vulnerable. This includes skills such as Goddess Divine Core, Divinity, Soul of a Martyr, and Sainthood. NPs based on divine power, like gifts from gods and such, are sealed, for the same period of time, and NPs that exceed rank are instead given a rank decrease in effectiveness.

    Ninefold Arc Exalted Technique/TOTALLY NOT NIVE LIVES: SHOOTING HUNDRED HEADS, NO SIR
    Illustrious Sage of Heaven and Earth
    - [Anti-Attack] Rank (A+)
    After Erlang Shen broken open Mount Tao, releasing his mother, he rejoiced, for they were reunited. The Emperor’s Sons, seeing this, came down in their form of ten brightly glowing suns. Their heat scoured the land for miles around the mountain, their flames melted stone and set fields ablaze, the Mountain became an apocalypse. Erlang Shen, in one fluid display of martial mastery, performed a technique that allowed him to survive this, his body glowing with golden power as his skin became invulnerable.

    But his mother…. Was not so lucky. She was burned alive, her soul sent directly to the Underworld in punishment of her breaking of the laws of Heaven.

    Shen’s anger in that moment outshone the ten suns, and his spear struck out three times. With each strike, three blows were struck with the three points, and nine suns died upon the tips of his spear, as he created, in moments, a new technique purely to express his rage with the Suns of Heaven. At last, only one sun remained, and before he would have slain it, he was convinced, by the pleas of his companions, to let it live, if only to ensure the land did not descend into darkness.

    This replicates that single defensive technique and the ensuing ferocious counter attack. It can only activate when his opponent unleashes overwhelming force, equivalent to a B++-ranked Noble Phantasm or higher. Shen’s body creates a skintight golden Bounded Field, which isolates Shen from all damage. Then, and only while the field is still active, he may activate the second half of his Noble Phantasm, which manifests as nine attacks, that impossibly reach across a much greater distance than a spear has any right should to reach his enemy, no matter how far away, though he remains stationary. Each strike is nigh-simultaneous, and deals massive damage to each being contributing to the overwhelming force, up to nine. This ability is restricted, in that it can only last up to ten seconds, after which it will dissipate on it’s own and leave him vulnerable. He cannot move from his position, and he cannot make any other movement other than attacking, activating a noble phantasm, or using his skills. Once the second half of the skill is used, the field dissipates, and Shen is capable of moving normally once again, as well as being rendered immune to any lingering after-effects of the singular attack.

    However, he is smart enough to utilize his status as a sudden immensely durable beefcake to his advantage. If his master is in the same radius of effect as he is, he will quickly grab hold of them and pull them close, shielding them with his suddenly nigh-invulnerable body using one of his 72 Transformations, effectively extending the protection to his Master.



    LORE/PERSONALITY
    Erlang Shen is a rather friendly guy, with a passion for drinking contests, fighting worthy warrior, vanquishing evil, and generally running around beating up the darkness and making it cry so he could tell stories about it later. He loves his dog, often spoiling it with the finest meat and bones he can get, and, depending on where he’s summoned, the finest demons for it to chew on. His loyalty to his parents is ironclad, and one of the surest ways to make him very angry and upset is making ‘your mom’ jokes. In addition, he has a dislike of dragons, though not exactly due to any racism, but because he constantly had to imprison dragons he encountered on his travels for flooding the land because they couldn’t be bothered to keep their rivers in check. In combat, he is brash, and highly appreciative of his opponent’s prowess, using his powers and skills to match theirs. He is unlikely to exploit his skills to defeat others, as he respects his opponents too much to defeat them in such an unfair manner. However, against more powerful opponents, he is completely willing to use any technique at his disposal.


    In life, Erlang Shen was the second son of Li Bing, the very first flood engineer who created a system of Canals in china, and Yang Yaoji, the Princess of the Desire Realm, and sister to the Jade Emperor. Those two met while Yaoji was chasing down an evil dragon who didn't go to Yaoji’s Heavenly Rehab center, and ended up flooding the land. Li Bing, not only a damn good engineer but a powerful Eastern Magus,worked together with Yaoji to imprison the dragon, and proved himself willing to die to save her in the process.One thing led to another, and they married, and had three children. The eldest was Yang Jiao, a Magus like his father. The second, was Yang Jian, who would later become erlang shen. The final child was Yang Hua, who was a goddess just like her mother.


    Yang Jian’s early life was tranquil, he studied the art of engineering and warfare, and spent his time using his third eye to gaze outward upon the world to see its beauty. It also let him see the Flood Dragons that ruined crops by letting their rivers overflow and ruin fields. So a part of his childhood was running around chaining and binding dragons so that his dad could come in and fix the ruined fields and bind the rivers in his own constraints, with canals and earthworks. That aside, they lived in relative peace, until the Jade Emperor wished to punish his sister for marrying a mortal. He sent down his ten Sun god sons, who brought an army down upon them. Yang Jian, then, only found his calling when, as he watched, using his mystical third eye, his father and elder brother cut down by heavenly blades. The ensuing battle was short and decisive. On one side, an enraged demigod who wielded a Mystic Eye that destroyed all it gazed upon, on the other, a legion of heavenly soldiers and gods.

    At the end, his home lay in ruins, and the Gods had captured his mother, and imprisoned her in Mount Tao, having been forced to retreat. But All he had was his sister, his father's ancient working axe, and his hunting dog. He forged a spear of three points, one for each lost family member, and practiced constantly. By sheer will he mastered the art of war. Then he set out for Mount Tao, spear and axe by his side. At the base of Mount Tao he took up his axe, and with a cry of rage, split the Mountain before him, revealing his mother, scared, hurt, but Alive. Well…. Until the Sons of the Jade Emperor came back to finish the job. Erlang, being a demigod hero who’d been training for years for this day, survived.

    His mother, a Goddess of Desire and not exactly experienced in combat, vanished in a puff of smoke from the heat. Erlang shen was shocked, and flew into a mad rage, drawing forth his spear and striking down the Suns from the sky[at least, that’s what some legends say. Others say that he was kill-stolen from by a certain archer. Nobody knows which is true.], until only one remained, whom he spared so that there would still be a day and a night. He decided that if his family was to die, then fine, but at least they would have a good afterlife. So, he ventured down into the world, and took his family from the demons, stabbing and smiting any demon that thought to raise a finger or voice in objection. He emerged from this quest with his family’s spirits in tow, but realized he had to put them in some afterlife. He swallowed his pride and made a pact with the Celestial Emperor. In exchange for allowing his family into the Heavens, he would halt the advance of the Monkey King. Of course, he carefully hinted that if the deal was reneged on, he would join the Monkey King’s cause instead, which would have surely resulted in Heaven being rendered a pile of ashes.

    After he fought the monkey king, he traveled the land, battling more demons and dragons, such as the Four Diablo Brothers, who wielded Demonic Weapons and Demonic Beasts as they assaulted the western farms of China. He allowed himself to be swallowed by their flying mink, and then tore his way out, before assuming the form of the mink to fool them. Then he helped another hero kill them by stealing one of their Demonic Weapons. Eventually, he disappeared, whether because of old age, or some monster finally besting him, was unknown.

    CRAFT ESSENCES

    Fluffy Pupper:
    He was my most loyal companion.

    Against demon, god, and dragon he never faltered.

    I can't count the number of times I laughed at the look of disbelief on the enemy's face.

    From the Monkey King to noble and ancient dragons, none evaded his ferocity.

    Most priceless of all, was how he always stayed by my side.


    A simple axe:
    it is a humble thing.

    Nothing but wood and steel, bound together with hard work.

    with this, I split Mount Tao, Defying the decrees of the gods.

    it was futile, in a way, at the end of it all.

    But it still holds strong, and yields for no one.


    Three-Pointed Spear:
    That day, I lost three of my family.

    My mother was sealed.

    my father and brother were cut down.

    This is my revenge, writ in steel.

    three points for three lives.

    Servant Reactions



    Enemy!Martha: You…. can make dragons fall in love with you? How does that even work?!?
    Friend!Martha: Please keep that dragon away from my dog. Please. I would rather have have you see my dog bully your dragon.


    Enemy!Cu: What a cheater. You don’t even use skill for that cursed spear.


    Friend!Scathach: Yes, I like her. But why must you insist on saying I ‘like’ her, with that weird stress on it? Sure, she’s a good drinking buddy, and she is, I suppose, rather attractive, and she's one of the best fighters I’ve ever met and I’m going to stop talking right now.


    Enemy!Tiamat: So, you're a goddess. Who makes dragons. Of the sea. And is now demonic? It's like you were born for me to kill.


    Enemy!Medusa: Okay, I get that we have mystic eyes, but trying to overwhelm each other by staring deeply into each other’s eyes is getting awkwardly romantic.
    Last edited by WhatShouldNotBe; February 22nd, 2017 at 10:04 PM.

  17. #4657
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Erlang Shen: Wow, that is one amazingly powerful Servant you've got there. It fits though, given Chinese legends from what I've heard are second only to Indian ones when it comes to being ridiculously over-the-top. (Where do you think the Wuxia genre got its shtick from?)

    Balancing aside, this is a pretty good and detailed sheet with loads of flavor. All the special moves and techniques at work definitely feel like something out of an over-the-top martial arts flick or manga, which was obviously your intent.

    Just out of curiosity, is there any particular reason his Devastation of Demons: Three-Pointed Spear technique involves creating a doppelganger of himself to rush forwards rather then simply doing the attack himself? I ask because it doesn't really add anything in terms of visuals and I can't see any clear basis for it in lore either.

    About his last NP... the legend of striking down nine suns is giving me hefty Hou Yi vibes. Since they were even both Chinese heroes, I wonder what the relation between them is...

    - - - Updated - - -

    A more nitpicking point, but I'd also advise spacing out your paragraphs more in the future for NPs. As is, it's a little hard to follow, no offense.

  18. #4658
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    More redone stuff. As I say, it's easier than doing new things.

    Rider
    Tam Lin


    Source

    Chaotic Neutral
    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: B
    MAG: A+
    LUK: A
    NP: A

    Class Skills

    Riding (A+):
    A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. All vehicles and all creatures up to the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind. Tam Lin’s personal mount is a white fairy horse, capable of running across all surfaces.

    Magic Resistance (D):
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.

    Personal Skills

    Protection of the Fairies (A): A blessing from Elementals; the capacity to increase one's Luck in dangerous situations. Activation is limited to battlefields, where it is possible to perform feats of arms. Tam Lin’s rank in this skill comes from his status as a knight and former consort of the Queen of the Fairies, carrying her personal protection.

    Emergency Transformation (D):
    A skill related to the Shapeshift skill, the ability to transform one’s body or steal other bodies. Unlike Shapeshift, the transformations are completely out of Tam Lin’s control, being a curse of sorts from the Fairy Queen to prevent him from being stolen away. If his health drops to critical levels, he will (unwillingly) take on a variety of variant forms: a lion, a bear, a snake, etc. Each are powerful Phantasmal Beasts, infused with the magic of Fairyland, and losing his human form will deprive him of his reason. Dousing him with water once he turns into red-hot iron will return him to normal. All his personal effects will be destroyed by the transformation, leaving him naked and defenceless once they’re undone. A powerful skill, the low rank in an indication of his lack of control.

    Unified Language (B): Referred to as "The Book of the False God", this is the language of ancient Babylonia, a time when no other languages existed and no distinction was made between the speeches of humans, creatures, and living and non-living things. The "truth" spoken before humans became scattered across the world can directly draw from the records, memories, and phenomena recorded in the Swirl of the Root. It is spoken directly through the soul resonating with the Root, allowing it to act as a powerful form of telepathy and hypnotism. The receivers must obey the speaker, known as a "Master of Babel", unquestioningly, as a human rejecting the words of the Unified Language would be the same as rejecting their own existence. If a target is also connected to the Root, the target can somewhat resist its effects. Tam Lin learned this skill during his time living in the land of the fairies, but as he never specifically studied in it, he is a novice at making proficient use of it, and thus is unaware of its more powerful abilities and only uses it as a persuasion tool.

    Rosy-Cheeked Adonis (C): The disposition of a beautiful youth capable of charming people. A fascination magic-like effect that works on both men and women, but one can abate it so long there is a will to resist. Complete evasion by means of a Magic Resistance Skill is possible. As a child, Tam Lin’s beauty was enough to compel the Fairy Queen into abducting him and taking him for her own, and his beauty has not abated as he has grown up.

    Noble Phantasms

    Carterhaugh Forest
    The Forbidden Woods


    Anti Army, C:
    A bounded field bearing the name of the forest that was guarded by Tam Lin, representing the primordial forests that covered Britain in times past, suffused with mana. Filled with twisted branches that block out the sun, thorny vines that ensnare trespassing feet, trees that appear to move as if to prevent escape, mushrooms that release thick clouds of toxic spores and flowers with intoxicating and narcotic fragrances, the forest is an enchanting, but terrifying place representing the power of the Fairies.

    All Hallow's Eve
    Ride of the Wild Hunt and the Raging Storm


    Anti Army, A: The personification of storms, such as rainstorms and blizzards, taking on the form of hounds and goats, horses and armed soldiers, and even monsters, the grand procession of the fairy queen, who rides forth with all her knights and subjects in her train. By his right as a rider in the hunt, Tam Lin can summon forth the entire procession, though he usually prefers to call forth one or two knights or beasts at a time, as the entire Hunt is terribly draining, and he dislikes the Fairy Queen intensely, and hates having to rely on her power. Though they are associated with the Hunt, he is unable to call on riders such as Frances Drake or King Arthur, due to him being personally associated with the Queen’s retinue.

    Lore
    Likes: Bold women
    Dislikes: People who don’t like nature
    Talents: Daydreaming
    Natural Enemy: Fairy Queen

    A character from the eponymous fairy tale, Tam Lin was a knight of the fairy court who was abducted as a child by the queen of the fairies due to his good looks and assigned to watch over Caterhaugh Forest in Scotland, where he would take the virginity of any maiden who wandered through the forest. During his duty, he fell in love with a young woman named Janet, who would go on to steal him back from the Fairy Queen and take him as her husband.

    A young man who could probably be called ‘airheaded’, his quirky nature is due to his time spent living with the fairies. He much prefers to spend time outdoors, singing and dancing with animals like a character from a Disney movie. He is capable of intense focus when fighting, even if he isn’t actually all that good at combat, his knighthood being a ceremonial role rather than anything military. He has trouble with time management due to Fairyland being out of sync with the normal world. In spite of his ditzy nature, he is, in his mind, actually quite sensible and lucid, and feels frustrated over his difficulty in communicating his thoughts to others.

    Bond CE – Twin-Headed Rose

    “Here, a gift from me. With this you can summon me at any time! I mean, you already summoned me, and since you’re my Master you can just do that mind thing, and for calling me to your side across long distances you need to use one of your cool hand tattoo thingys, so it’s pretty useless. But, we can roleplay! You picked the rose whilst wandering in my forest, and now you have to pay the price. Y’know. The price? It’s cuz I like you, Master.”


    Character Relations

    Frances Drake, Arturia Alter Lance
    r – “If we smoosh or hunts together, does that mean we could form some kind of super Wild Hunt? And then sweep away all the stuff and something.”

    Alexander “Sure, we can race. Bet my horse is faster than yours.”

    Merlin “You smell like a fairy. Please don’t stand so close to me.”

    Cu Chulainn“I don’t know why everyone thinks we look alike…”
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  19. #4659
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Between me and you with all the remakes, we're ending up like Hollywood Cinema. That said I am planning to redo Percival and Ferdiad at some point. Probably not soon though.

    Sheet is an improvement over the last as always and more fleshed out, good work.

  20. #4660
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Erlang Shen: Wow, that is one amazingly powerful Servant you've got there. It fits though, given Chinese legends from what I've heard are second only to Indian ones when it comes to being ridiculously over-the-top. (Where do you think the Wuxia genre got its shtick from?)

    Balancing aside, this is a pretty good and detailed sheet with loads of flavor. All the special moves and techniques at work definitely feel like something out of an over-the-top martial arts flick or manga, which was obviously your intent.

    Just out of curiosity, is there any particular reason his Devastation of Demons: Three-Pointed Spear technique involves creating a doppelganger of himself to rush forwards rather then simply doing the attack himself? I ask because it doesn't really add anything in terms of visuals and I can't see any clear basis for it in lore either.

    About his last NP... the legend of striking down nine suns is giving me hefty Hou Yi vibes. Since they were even both Chinese heroes, I wonder what the relation between them is...

    - - - Updated - - -

    A more nitpicking point, but I'd also advise spacing out your paragraphs more in the future for NPs. As is, it's a little hard to follow, no offense.
    Devastation of Demons is based on him entering the underworld and smacking face. Now, just making him attack normally is.... boring. So instead, I took the meaning of "he'll smite you with lightning" and turned it into "HE'LL smite you with Lightning" by giving it a More of a "I'm coming for you right now and you're going to regret everything" feel. The way it's constructed ensures that he can pull an all out assault without risking too much.

    the Hou Yu vibes are from myths blending together. I even noted it's not sure which of them actually did the deed.

    ill work on the paragraphs

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