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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #6161
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    Fusing Christian and Islam version of Death is cool.

    Honest question: what legend/religion you based on the 12 scythe NP?

  2. #6162
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Its a realy cool idea, is shocking how you combine so well elements from such diferent fonts, but i can stop the felling that he is a end up underpowered, i mean death is like the only definitive thing in life, whe are all dying if stop and think
    well, is better if i dont say nothing since i am making my own version of a antropomorphic aspect of death, and i am preaty sure she is not so good as yours .


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  3. #6163
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    The Angel of Death: Dude how do you make sheets this good? While there is some disagreement around whether Servant sheets should include some sense of balancing you've done quite well for a character whose identity is incredibly well known and they would otherwise be an incredibly powerful. The only criticism I could add is that while scythe and sickle creation is flavourful and has it's place with the character I wonder whether it has been arbitrarily ranked, in which case could you give examples of the capability of alternate rankings (just for my own understanding of the skill, sorry). In addition would some mention of the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception be necessary? Would this be available with another class for example? By the way I really like the second Noble Phantasm insofar as it defines the sheet.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  4. #6164
    Huh. Honestly kind of surprised this guy hasn't been done yet... Decided to go full Nasu while I was at it though.

    Name: Houyi
    Class: Archer

    Strength: B
    Agility: A
    Endurance: C
    Mana: B
    Luck: C
    NP: A+

    Class Skills:


    Independent Action: A

    Magic Resistance: C

    Personal Skills:


    Knowledge of Respect and Harmony: A
    Prevents any decrease in the effectiveness of a technique regardless of how many times it is used against the same opponent. At this rank, a countering skill of at least equal rank is required to respond to attacks in any manner. Otherwise, even defenses prepared specifically to counter archer will be ineffective, and no aspect of the attack will be perceived.

    Clairvoyance: A
    A skill governing the capability to perceive beyond human limitations. Not only can Archer’s eyes see in detail at distances nearing twenty kilometers, but they are also capable of seeing through walls and perceiving the natural flows of mana.

    Blessing of Wind: B
    A blessing that protects one from wind and allows its traversal. Archer may walk on wind as though it were solid ground, and damage from wind-based attacks is greatly reduced.

    Shared Soul: A
    A skill indicating a Servant whose existence is recognized by the world as being the same as an already existing subject.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Di Shi Yangmu -- Decimation of the Golden Crow: A+, Anti-Target


    The white arrows that Hou Yi used to kill nine of the ten birds of the sun. When this phantasm’s name is invoked, nine simultaneous arrows are fired, each having the property of “decreasing the target by one tenth.” In Hou Yi’s original myth, this was utilized against the birds of the sun, each arrow eliminating one tenths of the sun’s strength. However, it may be utilized against any target, so long as whatever is being targeted can be quantitatively measured and thus can be “reduced by one tenth.” Normally, nine arrows that each reduce by one tenth would cause the target to be reduced by 61.25%, due to each arrow acting upon the number reduced by the previous arrow. As the nine arrows are perfectly simultaneous however, they will reduce by ninety percent when directed at a single target.

    Due to only possessing ten of these white arrows, this phantasm may only be used ten times.


    Pántáo Hú -- Immortal Golden Ramparts: A, Fortress

    Xi Wangmu's golden palace, where the Chinese gods were served the Peaches of immortality. As the palace of Divine Immortality, those who are invited into its walls become completely separated from the ravages of age, concealed from the processes that would cause it. This ability of "immortality by way of concealment" means that a luck check is required in order for someone to find it without being "invited." Everything within its walls, save for "uninvited" presences, is effectively invisible to Gaia and thus not subject to being "crushed by the world." As such, "Invited" Servants require no prana upkeep while within its walls, and magecraft costs a minimum of Prana. In addition to these effects, an "Invited" individual is granted a powerful regenerative effect within its walls.

    The normal way to become "Invited" is to have the permission of this Phantasm's user, but due to its use to "render the gods immortal," ranks in Divinity cause an individual to automatically be considered "Invited." The exception is Sun Wu Kong, who was barred from the palace in life.

    However, as a side-effect of this "separation from gaia," the effects of fame and legend upon Servants within are reduced. With enough time within its walls, Archer's Shared Soul skill will restore the Servant's skills and Noble Phantasms to their original state, prior to being warped by myth and legend.

    Archer(True)


    Strength: C
    Agility: B
    Endurance: C
    Mana: B
    Luck: B
    NP: A+


    Class Skills:

    Independent Action: A++
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the Prana supply from the master. Archer would normally only be able to remain in the world for a week without a master, but their ability to gain mana from moonlight is sufficient for them to remain independent indefinitely.
    Magic Resistance: D


    Personal Skills:

    Clairvoyance: A
    A skill governing the capability to perceive beyond human limitations. Not only can Archer’s eyes see in detail at distances nearing twenty kilometers, but they are also capable of seeing through walls and perceiving the natural flows of mana.

    Alt Nagel: D
    A technique where the user calls upon a small tendril of a foreign world or reality marble, drawing it closer to the earth. As Archer created this skill in imitation of Brunestud's technique, it may only be utilized for attacks from the same direction as the moon while it is in the sky. While not disruptive enough to create a pillar of displaced air between the ground and the moon as Brunestud's technique would, Archer's utilization of this technique is still powerful enough to qualify as an anti-world attack due to its disruption of Gaia's world marble.


    Dead Apostle: A+
    The status of being a vampire derived from the Crimson Moon’s lineage. As an individual turned into a vampire by the Crimson Moon himself, and is also counted among the original twenty-seven apostle ancestors, Archer possesses this skill at the highest possible level.

    Archer possesses all of the abilities of an apostle ancestor, including boosted strength from being under the moon, the ability to repair injury by reversing her own personal time, creation of familiars, creation of bounded fields capable of denying even gaia, drawing mana from exposure to moonlight and a reality marble.

    As the original inventor of the "worldless castle" bounded field utilized by most Dead Apostles, Archer's capacity for said field would normally be even higher. However, as said bounded field has been warped by legend into Archer's "Pántáo Hú" Noble Phantasm, its use is restricted.



    Noble Phantasm:

    Xianshi (僊实)Enactor — Internalized Supremacy: A+, Support (Reality Marble)

    Xianshi Enactor is a manifestation of Houyi’s inner world, a reality marble obtained by living to a vast age. When fully deployed, it takes the form of an endless golden palace.

    Within Xianshi Enactor, the status of what is "natural" and "unnatural" -- and by extension, what is and is not crushed by Gaia -- is twisted. Anything wholly of Gaia will be ruthlessly suppressed, while anything at least partially non-Gaian in nature will face no resistance. As a result, mortal magecraft requires massive amounts of prana for even the smallest effects, while abilities used by things such as type moon's lineage will be effectively free to use. Furthermore, Servants lacking a non-human lineage of some kind will require a nearly tripled upkeep for their existence and cost for their actions, and those with Divinity will fare even worse due to the gods being of Gaia.

    Jianshao Shijie -- Ascension from Gaia: A, Anti-World


    An evolution of chinese martial arts developed by Hou Yi in order to further distance themselves from their Gaian origins. As such, this technique is in many respects an inversion of the "sphere boundary" utilized by chinese mystics. While in use, this art renders Hou Yi invisible to subconscious methods of perception such as the Instinct skill or even normal reflexive reactions; with subconscious reactions negated, Hou Yi's opponent's can only reacted to Hou Yi through carefully measured moves, and cannot track Hou Yi's movements when Hou Yi is not within direct line of sight.

    Offensively, strikes made while utilizing this technique cause the target's "ability to influence Gaia" to be reduced by one tenth each time they are struck, reducing their effective strength.


    Basically, the underlying idea is that "Chang'e," Houyi's wife who was a moon goddess forcibly returned to the moon, was actually Brunestud as viewed through the lens of chinese myth. With that in mind, I eventually came up with this version of Houyi, an apostle ancestor who was (one-sidedly) in love with Brunestud and spent their life trying to make themselves closer to TYPE-Moon by way of chinese mysticism. Funnily enough, you can take this as meaning that Feng Meng was the first person in the Nasu-verse to use a stake to kill a vampire, if one assumes that his legendary peachwood weapon had a pointy end.

    The reason for the shared soul bit is that this sheet was originally made for an RP, where the catalyst for Archer's summoning was their own still-living severed head. I tried to alter the sheet to work better outside the context of said RP, but it's a bit messy as a result.
    Last edited by Arkanian; June 3rd, 2017 at 03:30 PM.
    We knew the forum would not be the same. A few people , a few people , most people were . I remembered the line from the Nasu scripture, the Fate/Complete Material... "Now, I am become Death, the derailer of threads."

  5. #6165
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    An interesting take on it. but still

    Quote Originally Posted by Arkanian View Post
    Huh. Honestly kind of surprised this guy hasn't been done yet...
    hm... that isn't quite right


    tbf all of them were in the old thread

  6. #6166
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Houyi: your idea is so cool, i realy like when a servant myth is rewrite to have nasuverse own versions of things, as i did it with my little red ridding hood sheet.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  7. #6167
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Question, does Consuls still count as Romulus' "descendants"? It's for a detail of a Servant I'm making.

    ---

    Personally, I doubt it since they're voted by the rich people of Rome...
    Last edited by SleepMode; June 3rd, 2017 at 04:16 PM.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  8. #6168
    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    An interesting take on it. but still



    hm... that isn't quite right


    tbf all of them were in the old thread
    ...For some reason I thought the index on the first page was for both threads instead of just for this one. In retrospect, I'm not sure why...
    We knew the forum would not be the same. A few people , a few people , most people were . I remembered the line from the Nasu scripture, the Fate/Complete Material... "Now, I am become Death, the derailer of threads."

  9. #6169
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    I – Name Unknown
    The sword struck with dazzling speed and deadly might, each strike bearing lethality. The moist forest ground was gouged and carved with each vertical blow, and the horizontal slashes felled trees and split the air, creating muted percussion and grievous howls. Fallen leaves were scattered along with the scent of morning dew, creating an artistic backdrop to the dance of blade versus musket.

    Yes, her own weapon was a musket, humble in comparison and utterly outclassed to the point its worth had reduced to that of a makeshift parrying stick.

    The fifteenth broke, split in half like a worthless twig. She Projected the sixteenth—no, it wasn’t really Gradation Air. A musket simply manifested in response to her wish for a weapon.

    She sought the second enemy Servant with her mind more than with her eyes—no, her eyes were fixated on the almost-unbearably-Nordic shield-maiden trying to split her in two. The second one—Rider, she remembered—lurked behind trees and bushes, constantly seeking her blind spot. Stealth was not Rider’s forte—it was, in fact, her own—, but it was not necessary when she could not take her attention off the vastly superior opponent that was Saber.

    The sixteenth broke. Out the seventeenth.

    She desperately needed to put some distance between them, but moving at the speed of reflexes, turning lethal strikes into glancing blows, that was the most she could achieve. Sooner or later she would fall to Saber’s metallic blue blade, or Rider would catch her unaware and deal the treacherous blow. Was she going to lose without firing a single shot?

    No way in—ah, the seventeenth broke. Reworking her tactics, she waited for the right moment to deploy the eighteenth. She focused on dodging, moving backwards and in a circle to keep Rider looking for that one chance. And then she ducked, to dodge the blade poised to behead her, and the duck turned into a forward roll, conjuring the new musket midroll and firing it while upside down. The ball bounced harmlessly off Saber’s shield, but it created the moment of stillness she needed to leap away and to the nearest tree branch.

    “Don’t let her get away!”

    “Get out of my way and stay quiet!” Saber roared with unexpected anger. She added it to her profile of her sudden opponent; she could use it. Time to experiment.

    “Wait, who exactly gives the orders in that relationship?” she taunted amidst continuous musket fire, conjuring the next weapon at the same time she fired the one in her hands, using the recoil to feed the leap to the next branch.

    “Nobody tells me what to do!” Saber roared and split the trunk vertically with a single blow. She had already switched trees by that time, of course, constantly firing lead balls. The only exposed part of Saber’s body was her head, and the shield-maiden knew how to protect it.

    “Stop making things harder for yourself, Assassin!”

    “Oh, so you know my class!” retorted the musketeer. “And here I thought you were just a psychopath couple assaulting random people in the Black Forest!”

    “Like I would make that weakling my bride!” The mannish Saber spat back, the swings of her blade blowing scattered leaves off her fair blonde hair.

    “Be quiet, you arrogant she-ape!” Rider retorted as she darted out of the bushes, her voluptuous body scantily clad in the veils of an exotic dancer. Blowing a kiss in Assassin’s direction unleashed a pulse of air pressure that would have knocked her off the tree had she stayed in the same place for more than a second.

    “I told you to stay out of my way!” Saber leapt after Assassin with a ferocious war cry, but the musketeer let gravity pull her down, dangling from her legs while striking Saber’s chin with a well-placed bullet. Rider fired some more air bullets, but Assassin fell into hiding amidst the bushes.

    “I know a lot more than your Servant class, Assassin!”

    It took a lot from her not to jump out of hiding.

    That woman, Rider, was implying she knew her true identity.

    The one thing Assassin herself did not know.

    But that still did not explain why they ambushed her without warning. However, she was fairly sure she would get nothing by asking nicely.

    “Come on, little girl!” Saber was mowing bushing and felling trees like a child bully tearing down a sandcastle. “I came here looking for a good fight! I’m not leaving without satisfaction!”

    Neither had shown signs of having detection Skills. Thanks to her own Stealth-skill, it was very unlikely she would be found unless she let them find her. She could probably just get away, but…

    She moved silently, slowly, keeping a constant distance to remain undetected while listening to their exchange. Hoping they would inadvertently reveal something useful.

    And then she found the human. And she screamed.

    It came out something like “farranyaaah!”

    She had no memory of ever meeting the young man, but she somehow knew he was the Master of Chaldea.

    “Shhh—ow!” the Master rubbed the nose she had just punched. Assassin wasted not an instant picking him up like a newlywed bride and taking to the tall branches. An instant later, a barrage of Rider’s air bullets carpet-bombed their former spot.

    “You broke my nose!”

    “Oh, don’t be such a wuss; if I had punched you seriously you’d be dead.”

    “Found you!”

    She heard his choked gasp. She just moved, turning around to come face to face with Saber exactly in the posture she had predicted. Planting her foot on Saber’s right forearm stopped the shield-maiden from bringing her mighty sword down, and gave her the footing to launch herself away and back to ground floor, where of course Rider was already expecting her.

    “Now what is this—wait, is that a—no, it’s Chaldea’s!”

    Assassin ran and jumped her way from the thunderous barrage of air bullets, but the felling of trees did not smother Rider’s uproarious laughter.

    “This is rich! You’re protecting him! How does that feel, little girl? Must be tearing you inside, huh?”

    That was the proof Assassin needed: Rider definitely knew her true identity. It was the only way to explain how she knew what she was feeling in that very moment.

    Holding this young man in her arms, looking at his startled and blood-soaked face; simply being in the presence of this human filled her with apprehension.

    “I know!” insisted Rider, who by now was just firing haphazardly, having probably lost Assassin’s position. “It’s hatred at first sight, isn’t it? Then do the right thing and drop him! Drop him and come with me! We don’t have to fight if you agree to come, little girl!”

    “Calling me ‘little girl’ doesn’t do you any favors,” murmured Assassin, and the Master barely caught the words.

    “Where the hell are your Servants, anyway?”

    The young man, apparently alone in such a dire situation, maintained a composed face even while carried bridal style and bleeding from a broken nose

    “Do you want to beat those two?”

    “I just want to be left alone!”

    The Master glanced away for a moment, thinking to himself before looking back up at Assassin’s grey eyes. Assassin stayed on the move, all for the purpose of remaining outside Saber’s line of sight.

    “Fair enough. Get further away from Saber.”

    Assassin did not argue with his tone. If he had a plan, then it was better than nothing. And the plan was executed abruptly, flashily and loudly. She did not remember meeting the young Master before, but the plan’s utter lack of subtlety did not surprise her at all.

    Rhongomyniad
    The Spear that Shines to the Ends of the Earth
    !”

    The line of dark energy ripped through the forest like divine castigation, gouging the softened soil and devouring the plant life in its path. Assassin’s mind was filled with confusing imagery—a memory? She did not remember.

    A cave. Fog. A storm, a dark place, the Wild Hunt.

    She had to shake the disjointed imagery away. While a powerful Noble Phantasm, the attack was simply too obvious, its trajectory too linear. Rider disappeared from her sight, but she had definitely leapt away in time. While Rider disappeared, Saber jumped into the vast clearing created by their earlier battle, littered by trees felled by Saber’s weapon.

    “The hell? That was…King Arthur’s—!”

    Of course, the Master of Chaldea was not a complete idiot. The trap was obviously two-layered.

    Golden Wild Hunt
    The Night of the Golden Hind and the Storm
    !”

    Assassin was admittedly amazed at the feasibility of delivering a surprise attack with a galleon’s frontside deployment, on land. The massive cannons—no, the magnificent ship as a whole—levitated above the forest canopy, and they rained vast destruction upon the clearing, engulfing Saber in flames and explosions.

    The Lancer-class Servant, Arturia Pendragon (Alter), stepped into the clearing atop Llamrei. Francis Drake bounced off branches to reach solid ground. Assassin remained hidden, and in fact tightened her grip on the man in her arms.

    “Um, we don’t need to hide anymore.”

    “Um, you haven’t realized you just became my hostage, have you?”

    “…ah.”

    Assassin stepped out slowly, using the Master of Chaldea as a shield. By that time the smoke from Drake’s cannon fire had dispersed, and Saber sat on the devastated ground with a sour expression. Surrounded as she was, she did not seem nearly as alarmed as Assassin expected her to be.

    “Aaah, curse that Rider. But I guess that’s the kind of villain she is, running away at the first sign of trouble.”

    Alter and Drake were more interested in their Master’s situation, and Assassin was weak against the voiceless pressure in their stares. Even if they had supported her against Rider and Saber, there was no way she could be comfortable surrounded by Servants vastly more powerful than she.

    “Um, really, I just want to be left alone, so, um, I’ll let go of this guy, and then I go my own way, okay? Here.”

    “Ow! You just dropped me like that!” The boy complained at Assassin’s feet.

    “I really don’t like you.”

    “Straightforward honesty; that’s good!”

    The young man returned to his allies’ side, creating a three-pronged lull in the midst of the manmade clearing. Saber was by far the calmest, her laissez-faire attitude tinged with resignation. Assassin tried not to look like a bundle of nerves, but her small body and overall frail appearance did not help the projection of strength and confidence she would have liked to show.

    “Really, that rayshift was a mess,” Drake commented lackadaisically.

    “Tell me about it,” replied the young Master. “But let’s focus on figuring out what’s going on.”

    “I know nothing!” Assassin quickly blurted out. “Those two whackjobs attacked me all of a sudden!”

    “I regret nothing.”

    The tip of Rhongomyniad was poised on the seated Servant.

    “Right, what Alter means to say is that it’s time you tell us what your deal is.”

    Saber snorted at the pirate before shrugging and slowly getting back on her feet.

    “Hmph, I’m already bored. Might as well talk to pass some time.” Saber spoke with bored resignation, half-heartedly pointing in Assassin’s direction. “Long story short, the one who summoned us sent us to bring her that little one over there.”

    “I’m sure you can be less pointlessly ambiguous than that.”

    Saber laughed at the Master’s audacity.

    “Nice, nice! But I don’t really know that much. Look, this Servant lady summoned me and a bunch of other Servants. Most of them are busy attacking Rome, but Rider and I were dispatched to find this little one and take her with us.” She shrugged. “Look, you really won’t get anything from me. I know nothing, because I didn’t give a shit. I just wanted a good fight, and I didn’t even get that. You want to know what’s going on? Travel south and see it by yourselves.”

    Her easygoing attitude was quickly replaced by a stony mien.

    “Just, really, think twice before opposing that woman. She’s bad news.”

    “Explain.”

    Saber winced at the edge in Alter’s voice, but answered nonetheless.

    “It’s, well, you know that our forms as Servants are not the same as how we were in life. We are…adjusted, diminished, to fit our Saint Graphs.”

    At the nod from her attentive audience, the shield-maiden mirrored the gesture and continued.

    “That Servant is different. I looked at her and felt it made no difference.”

    Saber clenched her hands as if to stop them from doing something unsightly like trembling.

    “I saw a person with the power to destroy the world.”

    The Norse warrior paid no heed to the frowning looks on their faces.

    “Trust me on this: that person is no ordinary Servant.” She then turned to Assassin. “Funny thing is, I was convinced she was Assassin until I met you here.”

    “This is not a conventional Grail War,” pointed out the young man from Chaldea. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there’re repeats.”

    “Hmm, true enough.” With that, Saber stretched and yawned unabashedly. “Alright then, now that I’ve said my piece, let’s just get this over with.” Shrug. “A hopeless three-versus-one is not my idea of glorious battle, but what can I do? It’s better than nothing.”

    Assassin looked up and down at the easygoing woman in her bulky armor. Saber had recalled her sword and shield, and was clearly intent on making a pointless last stand. Looking at the young man, she saw in him no intent to fight, nor any hostility towards Saber. His Servants were, of course, more than poised to respond to any aggression from Saber. Letting Saber go…was not really an option, was it?

    What she, Assassin, should do was not important at this juncture. She delved into her mind and pondered: what did she want to do?

    The answer, it appeared, was obvious. It made her crunch up her nose and wonder just what kind of stupid person she was in life.

    “Wait.”

    Taking a step forward, Assassin projected a musket in her hands and a second floating in the air over her right shoulder. She made a shooing gesture towards the trio from Chaldea, which was of course not heeded.

    “Let’s do this one-on-one. You and me.”

    It was her turn not to pay attention to the looks on their faces after her proposal. Except Saber’s, who was all smiles.

    “Seriously? Grea—ah, um, now that I think about it, perhaps not; I mean…”

    Assassin crossed her arms defiantly.

    “You have taken moderate damage; I’m weaker than you. I’d say it’s about even. Are you refusing me?”

    That was no longer possible to the likes of Saber.

    “Don’t get in the way,” the Norse warrior hissed at the Chaldeans. Sword and board were ready.

    “What she said,” added Assassin, once more pointedly ignoring the looks she was getting. The unvoiced question was obvious, but it was not time to give answers. Saber was ready, and she had the decency to wait for her. “One way or another, this won’t take a minute.”

    “Damn right you are, little girl. Let’s have a good fight,” said the enthusiastic shield-maiden. Assassin could not tell whether the gleam in her eyes was gratitude or simply the eagerness to shed blood. At this point, it was not really important.

    “I cannot promise anything, but I will endeavor to live up to your expectations.”

    “What am I doing?”, she thought. She had just willingly stepped into a deathmatch against a vastly superior enemy. It was illogical, but it was the choice she had made by being true to herself, whoever herself was.

    “One thing, Saber, if I may ask. Do you know who I am?” That the words concealed her growing trepidation was an added bonus.

    “Eeh, you mean your true identity? No clue,” answered the big woman before pausing as a new thought struck her mind. “Ah, yes, Rider sounded like she knew, that cocky bitch.”

    Assassin nodded.

    “One more thing. That…woman, the one who sent you after me. Did she tell you where I was? Where to find me?”

    “Yes. Don’t ask me how she knew; no idea.”

    “I see. Thank you, Saber.”

    A vivid smile from the beautiful Norse.

    “Don’t mention it. You’re pretty great.” Assassin felt herself evaluated like a piece of meat by Saber’s clear eyes. “Not quite wife material, but I’d gladly take you as a concubine.”

    Assassin rolled her eyes, but there was an awkward smile on her face.

    “I’ll take that as a compliment, your Highness, King Thórberg.”

    “Eh? How did you—?”

    Saber sidestepped in an instant before a lead ball broke his face. It was the instant Assassin needed to reach her favored treetops and unleash gunfire from above.

    The dance began anew, with Saber on the ground chasing Assassin as she jumped from tree to tree, mowing down trees to limit the possible paths of escape and eventually force the stealthy Servant to return to ground level. Yet impatience was superior, and Saber launched himself as if rocket-propelled, making the air explode as it was cut. The squeaking Assassin had all but scampered out of the way, but Saber was now airborne and above her, ready to fall like a bird of prey with a longsword instead of talons.

    “Was that Mana Burst!?”

    “Nope!”

    “Then you’re just that insane!?”

    The diving slash cleaved through the canopy as if delivered by a blade thrice as large. Assassin gasped as she jumped out of the way, never having ceased her gunfire for even a second. She gasped again at the sight of the devastation unleashed. The trees that were not crushed or uproot were coated in a layer of frost.

    “God in Heaven!”

    “Ahahaha, you’re cute, little girl!”

    It was an incessant and lethal game of tag, in which Assassin desperately struggled to stay out of the reach of Saber’s sword of frost. The trees made for poor cover, but she used them nonetheless, sometimes twirling around them like a snake to seek Saber’s backside. Assassin constantly aimed for a higher position, her countless missing shots scattering grass, leaves and wet ground to the point that tree roots were uncovered.

    “You little wench…” Saber’s words were not nearly as threatening when delivered with a full-teethed grin. “You have some sort of prediction Skill, don’t you?”

    Of course, it was not like they stopped to talk, and Assassin’s response was almost drowned by the incessant firing of musket after musket.

    “I didn’t intend to keep it a secret for long. I am fighting a strong Servant, after all.”

    Saber licked his lips in response to Assassin’s catty wink.

    “Well thank you. Now, my dear little girl, if you really want to beat me, you better do it fast!”

    Saber kicked it up another gear, closing into Assassin’s personal space with barely an instant to react. The lightning succession of three strikes drew a triangle in the space in front of Saber; Assassin dodged them with the elastic movements of a contortionist, not a warrior. Rolling out of the way was interrupted into a mule kick to Saber’s wrist, to once again stop a cleaving strike. A musket slid past Assassin’s side, but Saber’s shield easily protected his face. The second attack on the upside-down Assassin was parried with that same musket, which shattered on impact. But Assassin planted both feet on the ground and for once was the faster attacker. Her shot bounced off Saber’s heavy armor, making him stumble a single step backwards. Assassin used the chance to put some distance again.

    “That was your opening, little girl. You lost your one chance.”

    “I’m not so great a warrior to be able to exploit such a tiny gap.”

    “Huh. Makes sense, I mean, with that frilly dress and those horns. What kind of Heroic Spirit are you supposed to be?”

    Assassin could only shrug at that.

    “Wish I had an answer to that.”

    Assassin could tell Saber was confused, but she said no more. Rather, she truly had no more to say.

    The three from Chaldea had watched quietly and attentively, of course. Assassin guessed they considered the possibility of the victor effectively turning into their next enemy.

    “Yeah, that little one’s peashooter’s only doing scratch damage,” Drake commented. “She can’t win like that.”

    “No,” firmly refuted the Lancer Artoria. “From the first second, Assassin has been in control of the engagement.”

    “Oh, you noticed, Alter?”

    Lancer Alter froze her Master with a blatant “who do you think you’re talking to?” look.

    “…I fight on horseback.”

    “Ah.”

    Assassin nodded her agreement, secretly glad she had set up things so that the distance prevented Saber from listening to the peanut gallery.

    Indeed, for a mounted warrior, her mount’s footing was of critical importance. And Saber insisted on the same mistake he had been making even before those Chaldeans showed up.

    He did not pay enough attention to the effects their combat had on their surroundings.

    The musket was already prepared for the critical shot, and the bumps and holes on the ground made by Assassin’s failed shots made the ground uneven enough to have an infimal effect on Saber’s dizzying speed. It was infimal, indeed, but in a fight between legendary warriors, it was significant enough to ensure Assassin’s survival for long enough.

    Furthermore, when Saber’s charge was abruptly interrupted by her stumbling on the root Assassin had unearthed moments earlier, their sheer difference in specs became irrelevant. She, who had set everything up for this very moment, was ready to push her musket on Saber’s unprotected neck.

    “Ah.”

    “Yup.”

    Eloquence had no place in a battle with your life at stake.

    The back of Saber’s head literally exploded as the critical strike forced its way through, and the bigger and mightier Servant stumbled haplessly into Assassin’s arms.

    “I’m sorry,” Assassin confessed, hoping her voice properly projected her sincerity. “I cannot be the mighty warrior you hoped for.”

    “No, no,” Saber’s hoarse voice came out of a destroyed throat. “’tis the way the weak must fight. Do not dishonor…the name of King Thórberg. Be proud of this, your victory.”

    The two feel on their knees, one no longer unable to use his legs, the other struggling to bear with the former’s weight. Saber chuckled, staining Assassin’s dress with the blood spilled from his mouth.

    “It was…a magnificent battle.”

    And with that, the princess-turned-king-turned-queen was no more. Assassin closed her eyes, taking the burden of that life claimed unto herself.

    “It was…a good hunt,” she concluded before getting back on her feet. With a deep sigh, she turned her attention to the Master of Chaldea.

    “Uwah, I’m looked at with disgust straight away!”

    “Ahaha, you cannot be loved by everyone, my gigolo Master!”

    Lancer Alter harrumphed at Drake’s mirthful comment.

    “So, you people coming?” Assassin said as she began her march out of the devastated forest.

    “Huh? Where to?”

    “Rome, it seems. If this woman Saber mentioned has some way to know where I am, then there’s no point in running away or trying to hide. Might as well see what her deal is. And I take you are coming because that is kind of your job.”

    “She got us there, Cap’n,” Drake jokingly admitted.

    “I don’t like your guts, but I am not stupid enough to reject the advantage of numbers, and trust your goody-goodness enough to not fear a stab in the back, at least for now.”

    “I’m a corsair and Lancer here’s an Alter, yet she calls us ‘goody two-shoes’. I blame you for that, Master.”

    “That’s not what she called us.”

    “Name’s Assassin!” The yell already came from quite some distance away. “Don’t ask for my true name; can’t give you what I don’t have.”

    Base Stats & Skills
    Thornbjörg Eireksdóttir

    Faceclaim

    Source: Artwork by Mario Teodosio

    Class: Saber
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Gender: Male
    Source: Icelandic literature (Hrólfs saga Gautrekssonar)
    Region: Northern Europe

    Height & Weight: 178 cm, 66 kg
    Likes: Combat, Booze
    Dislikes: Sheep herding, embroidery
    Talents: Embroidery
    Natural Enemy: Tamamo no Mae
    Attribute: Man

    STR B
    END B
    AGI B
    MGI D
    LUK B
    Noble Phantasm A+

    • She fights with sword and shield, like a traditional shield-maiden. However, her combat style more closely resembles that of a berserker.


    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance – B
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the developed Resistance that merely rejects magical energy, this Skill cancels the spells altogether. At this rank, spells with a chant below three verses are canceled. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected.

    Riding – B
    The ability to ride mounts and vehicles. At this rank, most vehicles and animals can be used with above average skill, even vehicles that did not exist in the time one was alive in are no exception. However, he cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species and Divine Beasts.


    Personal Skills
    Bravery – C+
    The ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. It also has the bonus of increasing melee damage. Saber is very unlikely to succumb to any forms of mental interference based on speech.

    Thornbjörg is a figure that exemplifies resistance to traditional gender roles and values. Even if he eventually changed his garments to those of a fine lady, got married and took the duties of a proper wifehusband, he still possessed the fiery soul of a warrior, as he would later proudly display.

    Charisma – B
    A composite Skill consisting of a person’s charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. At this rank, it is sufficient to lead a nation as its King or Queen. In the case of Thornbjörg, he was both: a respected and fearsome king first, and later a wise and even more successful queen. Armies followed him proudly to battle, regardless of the shape of his body or the gender he ascribed himself to.

    Moderation of the Wise Queen – B
    The wisdom of a great female ruler, capable of providing valuable advice and simmer down the sanguine temper of a warrior king. Being an experienced Nordic warrior first and a caring wifehusband second, he knows best how to smother the bloodthirst of a mad berserker. This Skill counters mental interference meant to dilute the conscious thoughts of her allies, and it negates the maddening effect of her allies’ Mad Enhancement up to rank B.

    Lore & Character
    Lore
    Thornbjörg is one of the protagonists of Hrólfs saga Gautrekssonar, a late fornaldarsaga first put to text in 13th-century Iceland. He was born the child of Erik, king of Sweden, and he favored the clash of blades, the taste of ale and the weight of armor to the traditional activities of the gender he was assigned at birth. He referred to himself in the masculine and insisted on being called Thórberg. Upon receiving the estate of Ullarakr, he was called “King Thórberg”, and effectively ruled over one-third of the kingdom of Sweden as a mighty warrior.

    One Hrólfr, son of Gautrekr, and brother to Ketill, the King of the Geats, traveled to Ullarakr to woo Thórberg. In the words of Ketill: “it would be the most noble marriage in the Northlands to have the son of the king at Uppsala for husband.” When Hrólfr proposed, Thórberg grabbed his weapon and attacked at once. Hrólfr fought valiantly, carving a bloody path through Thórberg’s housecarls until he had no choice but to escape from Thórberg’s sword. Hrólfr would eventually return, after a successful raiding campaign, as a stronger man, leading finer soldiers. There was a second battle, and this time Hrólfr came out victorious. The humiliated king gave his sword to his father Erik, changed the armor for a dress, and married Hrólfr. When Hrólfr succeeded his brother as king, Thornbjörg became queen, and he was praised as “wise and beloved by many, eloquent and wise of counsel.” He proved as talented in the traditional feminine pursuits as he was with mount and blade. He was the king’s foremost and most respected advisor; the stern hand of moderation that supported a powerful-but-occasionally-unwise king. He was there to remind him of the feature of a good king, of the importance of keeping his oaths and rewarding the loyalty of his followers with his own.

    At the end of the saga, Hrólfr finds himself in trouble, this time in Ireland; the search for a bride for his blood brother Ásmundr resulted in open warfare against the troops of the bride’s powerful father. With his king on the ropes, Thornbjörg once again takes sword and armor, summons an army, travels to Ireland, meets with his partner’s companions, takes command of the combined forces and lead them to victory over the Irish king.

    Thornbjörg is the first of the meykongr, the maiden-king that would develop into its own subgenre of late medieval Icelandic romances. He is a transitional figure between the legendary shield-maidens of the fornaldarsögur (Brynhildr, Hervor) and the haughty-woman-turned-humiliated-bride of the later riddarasögur (Séréna). Thornbjörg still retains warlike qualities, but also wisely rules his kingdom. He is therefore a reflection of Iceland’s changing social structure in the late middle ages—the end of the Commonwealth and transition into a vassal state of the Norwegian crown. He is a native Icelandic response to the cultural debate developing in the island as it became more exposed to ideas from the continent, such as chivalric romances and traditional monarchies. His transmasculinity is, perhaps, an expression of anxieties about the erosion of traditional and stable gender roles, based on female submission.


    Character
    Thornbjörg has arrived in full armor and carrying his precious sword. This is the warrior-king, not the lawful bride. Truly, there is no real difference between them, but the Servant Thornbjörg is not in the mood to give advice and stay behind. He wants to fight the good fight, drink himself into a stupor, and wake up on a bed not his own, surrounded by handsome men and beautiful women, and bathed in the blood of his enemies. His Servant contract is not one of subservience; he will escort a Master because he expects to get involved in intense, enjoyable combat. He aims for a tale like one of the mighty heroes of the legendary sagas, raiding and fighting and fucking.

    That is the kind of life he wishes for, this time. He has no particular regrets concerning his life—he only lost one battle, and the one who defeated him willingly wrapped himself around his finger by becoming his bride (because of course Hrólfr was the bride). Thornbjörg just believes he can do better. He aims to become the protagonist of the story of his own life: to choose his own battles, to slay his own dragons, to ride and sail wherever he wants whenever he wants and, if it ever strikes his fancy, to choose his own partner for life. He will not make that wish to a Holy Grail, though. He knows his fornaldarsögur enough not to trust things like that.

    On a side note, while the Servant Thornbjörg presents him at his best—comprising the virtues of both warrior-king and advisor-queen—, he expects to be addressed in the masculine. On the other hand, his sexual orientation is not clearly defined; or rather, he seems to be open for anything. He is not looking for love, and he is in fact rather mistrustful of any and all attempts at courtship. He believes in an organic romance, one that is not actively sought, but naturally nurtured. Indeed, he is not looking for love, but he will not reject it if the tender, genuine thing comes.

    Noble Phantasm
    Ullarvetr
    Boreal Sword of Rejection

    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 1-2
    Maximum Targets: 1 target

    A mighty longsword surrounded by the eerie radiance of the northern aurora. In Thornbjörg’s hand it glows a hyperborean blue, and it emits the frigid cold of the harsh winters north of Uppsala. Those who watch the blade in action catch faint mirages of Ullarakr: a boreal forest, clad in snow.

    Upon calling its true power, Thornbjörg invokes the full might of Ullarakr’s winter, and the visage of his kingdom becomes vivid beyond mere illusion, if only for an instant. His target feels the biting chill of Ullr’s winter for a second, before it is drawn into the glowing blade for a single mighty slash of concentrated power.

    The kingdom’s winter chill is a tangible metaphor for his misogamy: this Noble Phantasm deals extra damage to males and to all targets with Charm-based effects among their Skills and/or Noble Phantasms. Thornbjörg’s rejection is also a declaration of his sovereignty as the strongest warrior in his land, and therefore the monopoly on all boons is his—the target loses the benefit of all effects that would boost its offensive power.

  10. #6170
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Thornbjorg: Another top-quality sheet from you. At first I was really confused as to his gender continuously changing throughout, but then it all made sense when I got to the profile itself. It feels like he maybe could've had some kind of "gender-bending" Skill a la D'eon's Looks Of Loveliness but it's not really necessary, and I suppose you already accounted for the duality of his male and female aspects with his second and third Skills.

  11. #6171
    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    Houyi: your idea is so cool, i realy like when a servant myth is rewrite to have nasuverse own versions of things, as i did it with my little red ridding hood sheet.
    I prefer to give a unique twist to servant designs when I can, and a lot of times that means Nasufication. I've done it a decent amount of times myself. Like the Feng Meng thing, or Thor having a more advanced version of SHIKI's life perception eyes, Gerđr being a True Ancestor, Percival having Nanaya-style genetic memory fighting skills, Rostam having the spiritual predecessor of God Hand, etc.

    People still seem to find them uninteresting though, so I suppose I don't do a very good job of it.
    Last edited by Arkanian; June 3rd, 2017 at 06:51 PM.
    We knew the forum would not be the same. A few people , a few people , most people were . I remembered the line from the Nasu scripture, the Fate/Complete Material... "Now, I am become Death, the derailer of threads."

  12. #6172
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arkanian View Post
    I prefer to give a unique twist to servant designs when I can, and a lot of times that means Nasufication. I've done it a decent amount of times myself. Like the Feng Meng thing, or Thor having a more advanced version of SHIKI's life perception eyes, Gerđr being a True Ancestor, Percival having Nanaya-style genetic memory fighting skills, Rostam having the spiritual predecessor of God Hand, etc.

    People still seem to find them uninteresting though, so I suppose I don't do a very good job of it.
    I don't think I've seen any of those sheets. Have any links, pray tell? Some of those ideas sound pretty interesting... (If only because I'm curious as to how you'd justify them)

    And I thought the Hou Yi sheet was quite good, and probably the best take on that guy I've seen around here. The Nasu-ification was well fleshed-out, though I was a little confused seeing two different sheets for the same guy at first. (I take it the first one is the figure he was remembered as in legend, whereas the second is the Dead Apostle he really was in life)

    The only critique I can make is that the Shared Soul Skill seems a little unnecessary, given I think that'd fall more under Summoning Catalysts then anything. But if it's for an RP idea I can't really comment...

  13. #6173
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I don't think I've seen any of those sheets. Have any links, pray tell? Some of those ideas sound pretty interesting... (If only because I'm curious as to how you'd justify them)
    It's been a while since I've even logged in to Beast's Lair. I don't think I ever posted any of those ones over here. I'll see if I can dig them up.

    And I thought the Hou Yi sheet was quite good, and probably the best take on that guy I've seen around here. The Nasu-ification was well fleshed-out, though I was a little confused seeing two different sheets for the same guy at first. (I take it the first one is the figure he was remembered as in legend, whereas the second is the Dead Apostle he really was in life)
    Yep. It's referenced in the description for golden ramparts, where it states Archer will start reverting to their unwarped self within its confines.

    The only critique I can make is that the Shared Soul Skill seems a little unnecessary, given I think that'd fall more under Summoning Catalysts then anything. But if it's for an RP idea I can't really comment...
    Yeah, you're probably right. The skill actually did something in the original RP, but I ended up cutting that part to make it stand by itself but still left it in for some reason.
    We knew the forum would not be the same. A few people , a few people , most people were . I remembered the line from the Nasu scripture, the Fate/Complete Material... "Now, I am become Death, the derailer of threads."

  14. #6174
    Caster

    Class: Caster
    Name: Skirnir


    Strength: E
    Agility: C
    Endurance: E
    Mana: B
    Luck: A
    NP: C


    Class Skills:

    Item Creation: B

    Territory Creation: B

    Riding: C


    Personal Skills:

    Rune Magic: B++
    Knowledge of magecraft that utilizes the northern european system of runic writing. Due to the empowered runes engraved upon his noble phantasm that read “(of the)giant,” “depravity,” “frenzy,” and “unbearable desire,” Lancer’s magecraft is much more powerful when utilizing those runes. Caster's ability to make high complexity runic arrays via the high-speed engraving skill increases this skill's effective rank even further.

    Collector: C
    The talent to collect high quality goods -- a luck that draws rare items into the possession of the Servant. Lancer has a talent for finding magical items of appreciable potency, and a knack for convincing others to pass them into his possession, though his method of doing so cannot be called “Charisma.” However, he is unable to use this skill to locate objects that are not already in the possession of a sapient being.

    Lunacy: C
    The skill of those who induce insanity through visual vectors. While the most common variation of this skill incites madness upon eye contact, in this Servant's case, visual contact with the Runes created by his magic will induce vertigo, nausea, double vision, and even hallucinations in the viewer, an effect that is enhanced if the target qualifies for the Berserker class or possess Mental Pollution or a similar skill. The amount of time these effects last, the amount of time it takes before the viewer is effected, and the severity of the effects are all determined by the length of time the viewer looked at the runes, and how clearly they were seen.

    High-Speed Engraving: C+
    The ability to create runes at high speeds. By using his noble phantasm as a "pointer," Caster may engrave complex runic arrays by picturing them in his mind rather than making the specific movements necessary. Caster may still utilize this skill with other staves and wands, but his need to trace the actual runes with such gives the skill a lower effective rank while doing so.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Gambanteinn -- Befoulment of Creation: C+, Anti-Unit

    While Laevateinn was the true name of Skirnir’s weapon, it was during his most infamous use of it that he granted it a new kenning -- Gambanteinn rather than Laevateinn. It is due to this infamous use of it that its more powerful form uses it as a wand rather than a staff. In that myth, Skirnir threatens someone whom the myth refers to as Geror with a descent into maddened depravity, inflicted by the runes he then inscribes upon her body with his weapon.

    And so it was that Viovnia, one of the few remaining True Ancestors, descended into the bloodlusting madness of a demon lord.

    This act represents a great curse of befoulment, the madness inflicted by the Crimson Moon’s taint upon Gaia’s creation. When this phantasm’s name is invoked, the one at whom the wand is pointed has the four runes of Skirnir burned into their flesh. That target is immediately inflicted with a madness equivalent to E-Rank Mad Enhancement, though stats are not increased. This rank will increase as time passes, until the target becomes an irrecoverable monster; the demonic attribute is inflicted upon the target as well. Force of will may negate the effects, but it cannot prevent the curse from being imposed -- only magic resistance or bearing an unstainable nature can prevent its infliction. The curse may only be removed if Skirnir erases it himself, or if it is purged by a powerful sacrament.

    Gambanteinn being another name for Laevateinn comes from the latter's name literally translating to "damage twig." I actually first drew up Skirnir as a Lancer with laevateinn as his NP, but I ended up removing that and switching it to Caster. The Laevateinn mention is an artifact of that, which I only haven't removed due to being too lazy to rewrite that part.

    Rider

    Class: Rider
    Name: Rostam

    Strength: A+
    Agility: C
    Endurance: B
    Mana: B
    Luck: C
    NP: A+++


    Class Skills:

    Riding: A++
    Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beasts may be ridden, including members of Dragon Kind. Due to Rider's sheer size however, lesser mounts cannot be ridden


    Personal Skills:

    Disengage: A
    The ability to break away from combat. At this rank, grants the bonus conditions of repairing injuries, restoring mana, and replenishing lost supplies, as well as granting a parameter bonus upon a rematch.

    Kamae-Itachi: D-
    A combat method that uses the pressure from one’s strikes to create blades of air and strike from a distance. Attacks that Rider makes this way have a force only two ranks lower than an actual physical blow made with the weapon itself, but cohesion is lost; attacks made this way are waves of crushing force rather than blades.


    Natural Body: A
    A skill indicating one who possesses a perfect body from birth. In addition to providing a rank-up to strength, this rank prevents Rider’s strength from being below A-Rank regardless of class or outside factors.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Div-e-Sepid -- One’s Champion is One’s Army: C, Anti-Army

    The head of the demon that Rostam slew as the final of his seven labors; as proof of his great feat, he wore its severed head as a helm from that day onward. As the still-living head of a demon, its veins grow into Rostam’s flesh and it almost seems to be his actual head.

    The demon itself was brought forth from the wish of the Caspian peoples to conquer their neighbors, Persia. Normally their wish might not have been sufficient, but their leader, Mazandaran, was a sorcerer of great renown. He managed to materialize and empower this demon, turning it into a living avatar of the combined might of his armies.

    While wearing this phantasm, Rostam embodies this concept of “one who defeated a conquering army in the form of a single man.” When Rostam injures someone who is “fighting as a champion or representative,” the ones who they are championing or representing are also injured. In addition to the obvious, this also means that any injury he inflicts on a Servant will usually be inflicted on the master of said servant. In a similar manner, a Ruler class Servant counts as the representative of their entire team; in the case of Servants, Luck may lessen these injuries. If one who might be targeted by this Phantasm is fighting alongside the injured individual however, they no longer count as “being represented” and thus are exempt.

    The primary downside of this phantasm is that its use causes Rostam to count as an “army” himself; as such, Anti-Army phantasms are ranked up when used against him, and strategic use of a sufficiently powerful Anti-Army Phantasm may destroy the helm entirely.



    Haft Khan -- Victor of the Second Bout: A, Support

    As the originator of the myth that inspired the twelve labors of Heracles, it should come as no surprise that Rostam bears a Noble Phantasm similar in nature to the one Heracles granted from these feats. However, while God Hand focuses on attacks, this Phantasm focuses on opponents.

    When Rostam uses all of his weapons against a single opponent -- those weapons being his Glaive, Scimitar, Shield, Bow, Hand, and Rope -- but still loses the confrontation, he may activeate this Phantasm during the rematch, using his mace as a focus. Upon doing so, any of his parameters that are lower than those of his chosen opponent are raised to one rank higher than said opponent's, and he cannot be harmed by any attacks they make that are A-Rank or less. Attacks above A-Rank may still harm him, but the damage dealt is greatly decreased.

    This Phantasm may only be activated seven times, and each time only against an opponent who defeated Rostam in a prior encounter.




    Rakush -- Defender of Reclamation: EX, Support/Anti-Fortress

    The Phantasmal “horse” that Rostam rode in myth. Its immense size made it the only mount that could bear him, and it has the strength that that implies. However, its main strength as a Noble Phantasm is the autonomy it takes in the defense of its master: If Rostem is the target of an attack that he does not himself perceive coming, Rakush will materialize to defend him. Rakush bears the following parameters:

    Strength: A
    Agility: C
    Endurance: B
    Mana: B
    Luck: X

    Draconic Aspect: B
    A skill representing the nature of a dragon's soul. Provides a rank-up in mana, and an equivalent rank in magic resistance.

    Instinct: B
    Prana Burst (Sonic): B+

    However, Rakush’s nature as a horse is a falsity. In actuality, Rakush was a dragon that Rostem reached an accord with thanks to his tutelage under the Simorgh. However, a recreation of such is beyond the grail’s capacities, and thus Rakush is materialized as mere horse, albeit one on the level of a Phantasmal being. However, when Rakush’s name is properly declared as the invocation of a Noble Phantasm, some measure of its former glory is reclaimed. Rakush’s size increases to that of a dragon, and his form is more akin to that of a dragon with two heads -- though he still has hooves, and a vaguely draconic shape. Additionally, his parameters become thus:

    Strength: A++
    Agility: A
    Endurance: A++
    Mana: EX
    Luck: X

    Draconic Aspect: EX
    Instinct: A+
    Prana Burst (Sonic): A+++

    Naturally, the mana necessary for Rakush's upkeep in this form is ludicrous, and only grows the longer it remains active.

    In Rostam's myth, his horse tears a dragon limb from limb with its teeth, and "neighs" loudly enough to knock down fortress walls. Always struck me as a bit odd.

    I'll note that this version of Rostam was designed to be an enemy NPC in a great grail war RP, and thus was made a good bit stronger than I'd normally be comfortable with.

    Saber

    Name: Percivale
    Class: Saber


    Strength: C
    Agility: B
    Endurance: C
    Mana: D
    Luck: B
    NP: B+

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance:
    C


    Riding: B

    Personal Skills:


    Instinctive Hunter: A
    The inherited instincts possessed by great Hunter clans, eugenically enhanced to create the perfect slayers of demon hybrids and similar monsters. At this Rank, Saber possesses a version of Instinct at A-Rank that is only useful for combat purposes, and strength and agility increase by two ranks each when fighting those of monstrous or demonic nature, and potentially increase by a lesser amount against those tainted by demonic or monstrous influence. Additionally, all attacks possess the “Demonslayer” attribute regardless of the weapon used.


    Seeker of the Grail: D/A++
    A skill that represents one's aptitude for completing great quests. As one who originally failed as greatly as would be possible in his quests, Saber's initial rank in this skill is D. However, he eventually did succeed in the divine quest said to be impossible, once he had grown as a knight; as such, once he has activated his sword's ability, this skill's rank is increased to A++.


    Whenever Saber sets out with a specific objective in mind, he gains access to one of the following skills at D-Rank so long as he pursues that objective and nothing else:
    Guardian Knight
    Protection of the Faith
    Eternal Arms Mastership
    Charisma
    Battle Continuation
    Protection of the Fairies
    Bravery
    Clairvoyance
    Instinct
    Protection from Arrows
    Magic Resistance


    At A++ Rank however, three skills may be selected at A-Rank. Additionally, the following skills are added to the list:
    Discernment of the Poor
    Military Tactics
    Uncrowned Arms Mastery


    Uncrowned Arms Mastery: C+
    Arms competency that was not recognized by others due various reasons. Due to Saber's small stature and unimposing manner and bearing, he is likely to be dismissed as a non-threat while not in combat. His parameters may be perceived as up to one rank lower than they actually are, and his combat skill is perceived as being that of a novice. Those who have seen him in combat will not be fooled, however, and this skill will subsequently lose effectiveness.


    Once Saber's Noble Phantasm "Trebuchet" has been used, this skill is sealed unless a Command Seal is used to revert said Phantasm to its original state. The version of this skill obtained from Seeker of the grail is the standard one, rather than the modified version that Percivale normally possesses.



    Noble Phantasm:



    Trebuchet -- The Sword of Strength Reforged
    Rank: B+
    Support-Type Noble Phantasm
    Percivale's beautiful sword, one of the only ones made by the swordmaker Trebuchet. While it is a true work of art, it does not seem suitable for use as a knight's weapon. It was said the sword would shatter once, and only once, when the user’s life was in stake in order to test the user’s survival skills... And indeed it did. But Percivale passed this test, and had the sword forged anew, gaining only strength form the ordeal.


    When summoned, however, the sword is in its original state: Bearing a critical weakness in the blade that lies hidden until a suitable moment. When Percivale is well and truly outmatched by an opponent, this sword will shatter at the moment of Percivale's defeat. Should Percivale survive the encounter even without his sword, he may reforge it once the encounter is well and truly over and he is in a safe sanctuary. Upon doing so by declaring its name, Percivale will gain the power necessary to defeat the opponent who defeated him. Usually this takes the form of a permanent boost to one of his Parameters, but skills or other things may be obtained instead; it depends on the nature of his defeat. Additionally, Percivale's Seeker of the Grail skill has its rank tremendously increased once the sword has been reforged, regardless of other factors.


    Due to the sword being reforged without weakness, this Phantasm may only be used once during the course of the war. A Command Seal may be used to revert the Phantasm to its state initial state, but in such a case Percivale will lose all benefits gained from the initial activation, including Seeker of the
    Grail's increased rank.


    Arimathea -- Shield of Deferred Mystery:
    Rank: C
    Barrier-Type Noble Phantasm


    Percivale’s trusted red-and-white shield, a white shield with a red cross upon it, painted over it using the blood of the dying Joseph of Arimathea so as to conceal the stain of Jesus' own blood that was spattered upon it during the crucifixion. In large part due to this blood, the shield's capacity to protect from magic is superb. When not activated as a Noble Phantasm, the shield is unaffected by any spell that takes three verses or less to cast (Though the spell is not cancelled); Spells above that rank are of reduced effect against the shield.


    When the shield's name is invoked however, the effect changes. Rather than being unaffected by spells, the shield will reflect the entirety of the spell back at its caster. If the spell's power is above that which would be blocked by B-Rank Magic Resistance, an amount of its power equal to the maximum amount that the shield may block is reflected, while the shield itself is unaffected by the remainder, save for if the remainder is powerful enough that B-Rank magic resistance is insufficient to block it.

    In percival's myth, he lived in a forest separated from all society, and when he came out he confronted the Vermillion knight, whereupon he instinctively kicked its ass (whereas previously, said knight had been laying the beatdown on the entire round-table). Given the color vermillion's association with demons in Nasu, plus the one other character we know of who instinctively reacts to their presence by abruptly developing combat skills and wiping the floor with them, the conclusion was obvious.

    I'll note that this sheet was a collaboration with someone else, hence the different formatting. The demon hunter bit was entirely my creation though (And in fact the person I was working with opted to leave it out entirely).

    Anyway, I'll try to dig up my Thor as Saver sheet later.
    We knew the forum would not be the same. A few people , a few people , most people were . I remembered the line from the Nasu scripture, the Fate/Complete Material... "Now, I am become Death, the derailer of threads."

  15. #6175
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Caster:

    Appearance (Tagged for sheer size)

    True Name: Cain "Overlord Of The Demonic City"

    Alignment: Chaotic Evil

    Alternate Classes
    : Lancer, Berserker, Assassin

    Strength- D
    Agility- E
    Endurance- D+
    Mana- A
    Luck- E-
    NP- A

    Personality: Cruel, cunning and incredibly arrogant; Caster's outward persona is exactly that of a stereotypical "evil overlord". This is not something he denies. Indeed Caster seems to positively rejoice in his impression of a villain, perpetrating acts of cruelty solely to further his sinister reputation. An extremely dramatic man who articulates his speeches with grand sweeping gestures and maniacal laughter, believing that to be simply "how villains should be."

    In truth his role as a villain is not one that gives Caster any joy, contrary to what his flamboyant demeanour would suggest. Those to discern his features more closely would find Caster's expression perpetually cold and uncaring. When he laughs his voice is empty- as if he is merely acting out a role. At heart, Caster hates himself for his killing of Abel. His embracing the role of a villain is in fact a form of self-flagellation- a twisted attempt to punish himself for his sins. Caster rejects redemption because he doesn't believe himself worthy of it, and continues to sink into depravity while scornfully cursing his own heart.

    Caster questions whether a supposedly holy artifact such as the Grail would even grant the wish of one as wicked as he. Nonetheless he claims his wish would be to expand his demonic city of Enoch across the entire world, plunging all of humanity into an eternal orgy of bloodshed and killing. While a hell for ordinary humans, for a bloodthirsty killer such as himself a world like that would be nothing short of true paradise, or at least so the self-styled villain claims.

    Of course, that wish is just as much of a lie as most of Caster's villainous persona. His deepest desire is one even he himself is not truly aware of- absolution, even if in a twisted form. To atone for his sins by dying at the hands of a hero of justice, ending his bloodstained legacy once and for all. And finally freeing himself of the unspeakable guilt that haunted his every waking moment since Abel's murder.

    Likes: performing acts of evil, ...Abel?
    Dislikes: heroes of justice, himself
    Talent: everything expected of a villain
    Natural Enemy: God, Abel


    Class Skills:

    Territory Creation- EX
    The ability to formulate a territory advantageous to oneself as a Magus. Caster's second Noble Phantasm facilitates creation of a "
    Enoch
    Demonic City
    " that exists as the antithesis of a holy temple.

    Item Construction- C++
    A talent to craft magical items. While not a traditional Magus, through his authority as the First Murderer Caster can forge all manner of weapons intended to claim the lives of men. Weapons created through this Skill have a bloodied appearance even before being used in combat and pulse with dreadful magical power.


    Personal Skills:

    Overlord's Domination- A
    A twisted form of Charisma born out of one's reputation as an "evil overlord". While Charisma is typically a Skill that measures one's popularity, in Caster's case it represents the degree to which he can force his own will upon the masses while being despised by them.

    The essence of Caster's rulership is not inspiration but simply "domination", subjugating by becoming a figure that embodies absolute power and fear in the minds of his followers. The higher the rank of this Skill, the more Caster's popularity plummets even as his followers are too terrified to question his authority.

    As this form of Charisma is ultimately no different then a mental attack, it can be resisted by Skills that specialize in blocking mental interference such as Bravery and Soul Of A Martyr.

    Founder Of Civilizations- B
    A Skill for those who came to found an entire civilization. After many years of wandering the earth in penance for his sin, Caster eventually settled down to found a great and mighty city- the very first to ever exist in the ancient world.

    All Skills expressing "the fruits of civilization" can be practiced at C~B rank as well as taught to others who submit to Caster's will. As Caster's "civilization" was one that thrived in warfare and bloodshed, Skills granted tend to have a violent or militaristic bent- such as Military Tactics and Torture Techniques. Other Skills that can be shown include hunting, agriculture, construction and basic ritual magic- those essential to the founding of civilization in Caster's time.

    However, the one Caster most favors granting to his followers is Aptitude For Slaughter (Tools) at rank C, a diluted form of his authority as the First Murderer.

    Aptitude For Slaughter (Tools)- A+++
    A Skill qualifying one's aptitude for killing, expressed through various means. As mankind's first murderer he boasts uncontested mastery over all myriad forms of the bloodstained art. Since Cain in this Class embodies the more "civilized" aspects of murder rather then the impulsive act of brutality that defined his original self, he has lost the ability to use even his bare hands as a deadly weapon (for such is a terribly inelegant means of killing) in exchange for raising the efficacy of tools.

    Any tool Caster wields in combat becomes a weapon of death, rising in efficiency massively when used against human opponents or those that possess the "Man" attribute. Even mundane tools such as butter knives and umbrellas can be utilized to lethal effect. Though the Caster Class is normally unsuited to martial combat, this Skill allows Caster to hold his own even against more physically powerful Heroic Spirits.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Cainites- Children Of Murder, Arise And Paint This World In Blood (D+, Anti-Team): The bloodthirsty tribe Caster spawned, refining and bringing his art of murder to ever greater and more gruesome heights. Under Caster's dominion his children spread insatiably across the earth, conquering and ravaging all in their path. Ultimately God was forced to resort to cleansing the entire earth with a global flood in order to stem the Cainites' rapacious advance.

    Invoking this Noble Phantasm, shadowy wraiths begin budding off from Caster in the style of Duchamps' "Nude Descending The Staircase". The shades materialize closely behind Caster in the wake of his movements, resembling distorted after-images come to life. While roughly humanoid in form, these apparitions are unmistakably monstrous creatures with bodies of churning dark miasma, gaping fanged maws and glowing blood-red eyes.

    These ghouls are animated solely by bloodlust and upon forming will attack everything in the vicinity save Caster himself- who they perceive as their "father". While spawning from Caster at a great speed (roughly one every ten steps) they possess pitiful parameters- with individual shades only barely stronger then a mundane human. It goes without saying that dispatching even vast numbers of these apparitions should be a trivial task for any Heroic Spirit worth their salt.

    Due to their weak specs this Noble Phantasm is of little worth in open combat, but the great quantity of ghouls it births is at least useful as a distraction. Since the wraiths form in the wake of Caster's movements (in other words, behind him), they can be used effectively as a rearguard force while he escapes.

    When at least a hundred Cainites are formed, they may merge into one- sacrificing their individual essences to birth a far more powerful monstrosity. Their bodies literally agglomerate together, dissolving into shapeless dark mist before condensing into the form of a grotesque black giant. These giants, called "Nephilim", are vastly larger and more formidable then Caster's regular ghouls, easily at the level of a high-tier Phantasmal Beast. Being born from mist, the bodies of "Nephilim" reform continuously when attacked. Killing them requires either dealing out strikes faster then their regeneration permits, or else to annihilate their entire body at once with a powerful burst attack.

    Fitting the title of fallen angels, each Nephilim has a massive pair of dessicated black feathery wings protruding out from somewhere on its body. The exact number of wings varies depending on how many Cainites were expended to "birth" the Nephilim, but more powerful amalgamations may be seen sporting up to seven at a time- evoking a twisted version of the angelic hierarchy.


    Enoch- Capital Of The Demonic City (A, Anti-Team): The first city in all creation, built by the hand of Caster himself and named in honor of his only son. Even though this city was great, it was also a monument to mankind's decadence. A city of sin viewed in the same light as the Babylon described in the Book Of Revelation, embodying humanity's hubristic rejection of the divine.

    To invoke this Noble Phantasm, Caster must first kill a human (or Heroic Spirit) and let their blood soak into the earth. Only upon the completion of this dark ritual may Caster manifest his fabled city into horrid reality. Upon summoning, it overlays atop the current environment much like the golden theatre of a certain Roman tyrant. The surrounding terrain is replaced by an infernal cityscape- vast monoliths of gilded marble and twisted ebony towers jutting hundreds of feet into the sky. Even the air within the city is affected, stained the sickly tint of blood as an otherworldly mist descends upon the scenery to nearly blot out the sun.

    As Caster's city symbolizes "rejection of the divine", all Skills (such as Revelation, Divinity, etc) and Noble Phantasms of godly origin are sealed within its reaches if below B-rank, and ranked down otherwise. Similarly, Heroic Spirits who were themselves of divine nature (Divinity of rank C or higher) will be oppressed with a rank down to all parameters.

    Since the city was built as a shrine to sin, it also amplifies the dark and violent intentions of those inside. The longer one remains in Caster's accursed city, the more one's buried sinful desires and intentions are drawn to the surface. Even the slightest jealousy or grudge slowly ferments into a full-blown murderous rage. A simple platonic crush will be twisted into an obsessive rapacious infatuation. This may be viewed along the principle that even the smallest amount of poison in one's body can become deadly if sufficiently amplified, only with "sin" rather then physical toxin.

    Ordinary humans without an extraordinary mental discipline will likely abandon their morals and fall to barbarity within minutes after being exposed to the city's malignant aura. On the other hand, Heroic Spirits and those with magical protection can stave off its effects for far longer periods of time. As this Noble Phantasm can only draw forth and strengthen preexisting grudges rather then creating them outright, those who lack any buried evil intentions at all will be exempt. However as even the greatest human surely possesses some sinful desires, only a natural-born saint or messiah could ignore its effects entirely.

    Additionally, Caster's horrid children the Cainites are a constant presence within the city walls. The vile wraiths form constantly from the mist and continue to birth inexhaustibly no matter how many are cut down, proving a terrifying threat even despite their individual weakness. Most opponents will find themselves gradually overwhelmed, worn down by ceaseless waves of ghouls while Caster is free to pick them off from afar with his dark magic.

    Once activated, the only way to destroy this city entirely is either with a Noble Phantasm classified Anti-City or higher or by killing Caster- upon which the entire stronghold will dissolve from existence. Given the rarity of weapons powerful enough to smite an entire city, the latter is likely the more feasible option.

    As powerful as the city is on its own, there is one last secret trump card it possesses which Caster may call upon. By incanting the mantra "Oh ruler, garb thyself in the vestments of sin", all the thousands upon thousands of Cainites scattered around the unholy city dissolve into black mist that slowly flows towards Caster. Upon reaching him, the mist accrues into a choking miasma that engulfs Caster along with an entire city block's worth of territory, creating an incredibly toxic zone that will poison and suffocate ordinary humans unlucky enough to be caught within range.

    The miasma then condenses, forming an utterly massive Nephilim figure of which Caster occupies the very center. Its body is a twisted amalgamation of every single wraith within Caster's city. Crowning its perverse angelic authority are seventeen enormous feathery wings protruding out at obscene angles, each of which is easily big enough to blanket an entire street in shadow.

    This unholy creature, referred to as a "
    Dark Angel Overlord
    Nephilim Tyrant
    " by Caster, is incredibly powerful. Its footfalls create miniature earthquakes and every flap of its misshapen wings ushers forth savage tornado-force gales. A single sweep of its twisted claws can shred through several buildings in one go, while the shockwave of pressurized air lays waste to dozens more.

    From within its core, Caster can guide the beast's motions but even he has only limited control over it. The Nephilim Tyrant's mind is a swirling sea of pure bloodlust and primal rage, a relentless urge to consume and devour that overwhelms all rational thought, that is if the monster ever possessed such a thing to begin with. Destroy, kill, ravage, all until there's nothing left but ruins and death. Such is the tyrant's nature.

    Because of the Nephilim Tyrant's sheer size and power, all surviving Heroic Spirits other then Caster are all but sure to need to unite their efforts to have even a hope of destroying it. The Tyrant possesses the same regeneration as its inferior brethren, but in addition will also bleed and spawn off countless lesser Cainites each time it's damaged. Therefore it's likely that one group of Heroic Spirits will need to concentrate on keeping back the lesser horde, while another focuses their efforts on bringing down the black behemoth itself.

    Despite how powerful it is, due to the unbelievable collateral damage the Nephilim Tyrant evokes (likely to leave Caster's city a smoldering ruin in the aftermath) as well as his own lack of control over it, Caster considers it a last resort and will refuse to call upon the beast unless pushed into a corner where he has no other way of winning.

    There is also another restriction in that the ghouls within the city must have reached a certain population before Caster can summon the Tyrant. Given the rate at which they spawn from the mist, it will likely take around three to four days before Caster has sufficient wraiths to manifest his ultimate trump card, presenting a "time-limit" to his foes who will wish to defeat him before that point.


    Key Words/Craft Essence


    Birth Of The Demon King
    "Let me tell you a story, Master.

    Once upon a time, there was a boy.
    That boy lived happily alongside his sister, in a world of boundless green fields under a pure blue sky.
    The boy and his sister loved each other very much. He swore to protect her, and she swore to stand by his side no matter what.
    A simple, childish oath, but yet one both vowed to keep until their last breaths.

    One day, the boy killed his sister.
    He brutally stabbed her with her own ritual dagger and let the blood flow out of her body, watering the earth much as he had in his days as a farmer.
    ...Why, you ask?
    Ah, I'm sorry to say that I forgot the answer to that question a very long time ago.

    With that act, the paradisiacal world they'd dwelt in had shattered instantly, or perhaps it had been revealed as a mere illusion all along.
    Tormented by grief, the boy wandered the earth for countless years, cursing both himself and his fate.
    He begged God to punish him for his sin, but the Lord in his unfathomable ways merely placed a single Mark upon him, insuring protection in his travels.

    The boy could not be forgiven. Evil
    He could not atone. Fiend
    He could not find peace after what he'd done. Murderer
    Because of the awful Mark etched into his flesh, even the blissful numbness of death was denied to him. No Escape
    Therefore... there was only one remaining path to march upon.

    'A murderer, a killer, a scoundrel and demon... those are the only paths open to one of my nature.'
    The boy uttered those words while finally accepting his own fate.

    Instead of revolting against his ordained role, the boy resolved to embrace it all with his heart.

    He at last ceased his endless wanderings, and founded a great city.
    A monument of all of mankind's sins and depravity, worthy of a burgeoning demon king such as himself.

    Amassing armies of his foul progeny, the boy lead wars of conquest, orchestrating destruction and massacre on an unprecedented scale.

    He ravaged, slew, begat, consumed, all to wage war on the God that refused to punish him for his sin so long ago.

    Finally the weight of his evil actions grew too great, and some cosmic force- perhaps God, or something altogether impersonal- deigned to strike down the overlord.
    The castle he dwelt in collapsed upon him, crushing the boy just as he'd crushed so many other lives.

    Thus ends the beautiful, bloodstained tale of the demon king.
    Or so it goes. But some say the boy who was once a demon king lingers to this day, still seeking out judgement for his sin.

    ...Which version is the truth, Master? Such a thing hardly matters.
    After all, this is nothing more then an amusing and meaningless story."


    Mark Of Cain
    The blessed (cursed) mark imparted to Cain by God, promising sevenfold retribution upon any who slew him. While in most other Classes he would possess this Mark as a powerful Noble Phantasm, as Caster it has been sealed. As he abandoned the life of a wanderer, the Mark which once protected him on his travels has faded from sight.

    This is a digression but, in some variations of the legend the 'Mark' Cain received in fact took the form of an animalistic horn. While most likely intended simply to further his impression as a diabolical tyrant, the horns adorning his head in this form can be seen as alluding to that aspect of his myth.

    Nephilim
    A race of enigmatic beings described in the apocryphal Book Of Watchers, said to have procreated with humankind to produce twisted and gigantic offspring. While most commonly believed to be fallen angels, some accounts instead identify them with the lineage of Cain, who tried to seduce and corrupt the righteous offspring of Seth.

    Demon King
    Evil Overlord

    A term connoting the ultimate villain (final boss) found in many a heroic narrative. Due to his strong self-hatred, it seems Caster has chosen to fully embrace this archetype and everything it entails. Perhaps this even extends to wishing for his own death at the hands of a promised hero...



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    So, here's that evil overlord! Cain I'd brought up a while ago. This is definitely the last version of Cain I'll ever be doing, and probably the edgiest of them all. Even I wondered if I'd gone overboard on the edge near the end, but that's really the only way I could do justice to the sort of character I had in mind. After this, expect the next Servant I write to be super light and fluffy to make up for this unbridled edgefest...

    I'm aware the idea of this sheet is a bit of a stretch mythically, but I hope it at least manages to be interesting. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! Thanks.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; June 5th, 2017 at 12:06 AM. Reason: Added to second NP

  16. #6176
    夜属 Nightkin Hakuro's Avatar
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    I came here to say that the Death sheet was pretty neat but then in a few time there was many new sheets to read. Nice to see that there is new people here too.

  17. #6177
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakuro View Post
    I came here to say that the Death sheet was pretty neat but then in a few time there was many new sheets to read. Nice to see that there is new people here too.
    Yeah, it's nice to see the thread having a boost from new users.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  18. #6178
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Arkanian: Just so you know, those sheets you posted up were all really good. Especially the Skirnir one. The whole 'rune-engraving' idea is really creative and I love how all his Skills and NP synergize together.

    My only real critique is that Rostam's Kamae-Itachi Skill doesn't really seem necessary. Not only does the Skill not (as far as I know) really fit his legend, but wrecking scenery and creating wind-blades by swinging their weapons around is something just about every Heroic Spirit can pull off just by virtue of being stupendously strong. Rostam neither needs nor merits a designated Skill for it IMO.

    - - - Updated - - -

    By the way, I'd appreciate some feedback on my Caster Cain Servant. Really not sure what to think of this one...

  19. #6179
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Arkanian: Just so you know, those sheets you posted up were all really good. Especially the Skirnir one. The whole 'rune-engraving' idea is really creative and I love how all his Skills and NPs synergize together.

    My only real critique is that Rostam's Kamae-Itachi Skill doesn't really seem necessary. Not only does the Skill not (as far as I know) really fit his legend, but wrecking scenery and creating wind-blades by swinging their weapons around is something just about every Heroic Spirit can pull off just by virtue of being stupendously strong. Rostam neither needs nor merits a designated Skill for it IMO.

    - - - Updated - - -

    By the way, I'd appreciate some feedback on my Caster Cain Servant. Really not sure what to think of this one...
    Yeah, that's another holdover from the RP... Though there is one major difference between having the skill and not, though -- the skill's rank determines how much damage the pressure waves do compared to the normal attacks. In Rostam's case, it means that being hit by the wave-front is equivalent to being smacked in the face by someone with B-Rank strength, and also means that Rostam can direct it as an attack (Something he did take advantage of in order to make his individual attacks one-two comboes). That and while it doesn't have much basis in his myth (beyond "he was really freaking strong"), it did pad out his sheet so that he wouldn't have half the number of skills as the other Servants.


    As for Cain... Well first thing I noticed going down the sheet is that "founder of civilizations" could probably be the innovation skill instead. Aptitude for Slaughter could stand to be a bit more definitively worded -- it seems like it just increases the damage done by weapons and nothing else, but it's a bit ambiguous whether that's the only thing, and it's rather vague about how much it does so or even how the A+++ version differs in effect from the C-Rank version.

    On the less nit-picky side, the NPs seem a bit... generic? it feels like you could make the Cainites a bit more interesting, maybe giving them some sort of special ability inside Enoch or something. Don't get me wrong, the Cainites and the city present a cool image, but the underlying mechanics don't really live up to it. Enoch itself should probably be a lower rank considering what it does.

    Lastly, considering how the Mark of Cain is one of Cain's best known features it should probably be on the sheet proper, to note the reason for its absence if nothing else.
    We knew the forum would not be the same. A few people , a few people , most people were . I remembered the line from the Nasu scripture, the Fate/Complete Material... "Now, I am become Death, the derailer of threads."

  20. #6180
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arkanian View Post
    As for Cain... Well first thing I noticed going down the sheet is that "founder of civilizations" could probably be the innovation skill instead. Aptitude for Slaughter could stand to be a bit more definitively worded -- it seems like it just increases the damage done by weapons and nothing else, but it's a bit ambiguous whether that's the only thing, and it's rather vague about how much it does so or even how the A+++ version differs in effect from the C-Rank version.

    On the less nit-picky side, the NPs seem a bit... generic? it feels like you could make the Cainites a bit more interesting, maybe giving them some sort of special ability inside Enoch or something. Don't get me wrong, the Cainites and the city present a cool image, but the underlying mechanics don't really live up to it. Enoch itself should probably be a lower rank considering what it does.

    Lastly, considering how the Mark of Cain is one of Cain's best known features it should probably be on the sheet proper, to note the reason for its absence if nothing else.
    First of all, much thanks for the feedback. I never thought of what you said regarding Innovation, but IMO that Skill mainly emphasizes the act of overturning an existing order rather then simply founding a new one from scratch. Fair point about Aptitude For Slaughter; I included a much more fleshed out version of it under my Assassin Cain sheet and I was too lazy to come up with another version this time around.

    I kinda' see what you mean on the NPs, especially the first one. Wasn't really sure how to pull off the Cainites, so it's mainly the imagery of them "budding off" from his body that sets it apart from similar "minion summoning" abilities. I disagree with you about the city though. It seems pretty stuffed to the gills already, so I'm not honestly sure what else to add. It already has Anti-Divinity stuff, sin amplification and crazy-huge hordes of mooks to do Caster's bidding.

    I didn't want to include the Mark amongst his NPs because it wouldn't fit the theme I had going with the rest of his sheet and I felt he was already powerful enough as is.

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