Create-a-Servant

[ZSB1999]

Love the servant sheet, Great Job! I didn't expect you to finish so soon.
I can only imagine the epic showdown between Faber and this Rider

[Bird of Hermes]

asterism42 - Nice job with Agatha! I admit to having a (major) slight preference and bias toward British servants so she may not seem that overwanked to me. The double summon works splendidly with her as frankly she needs it to be relevant and it doesn't make her OP at all.

Vercingetorix, another classic RoydGolden genderbend. I like the skills put out and the NP's, especially the first. You got it out rather quickly as well and it doesn't seem rushed in the slightest. You fleshed out her personality rather well I must say and she seems very protagonist-y, or at least cool-and-likable-antagonist-turned-ally-before-death like with Cu Chulainn and Medusa.

Speaking of our favourite blue lancer, I have 3 servants I'm working on...

[RoydGolden]

Hermes: I LOLed at you describing Verci as "another RoydGolden genderbend". I do have a habit towards genderbending my Servants, don't I?

I wouldn't say I really do that many, all things considered. But more then others here, I admit.

Glad you like it. Major credit goes to ZSB for the NP ideas, all of which I used in some form or another. Couldn't find a way to work in the "Gaul united can oppose even the Universe" quote, alas. I was worried she might be a little wanked honestly (at least as powerful as Iskandar, I'd say) but she is pretty much the national hero of France so I'd say its fairly justified. Besides I wanted to go all-out and do a strong Heroic Spirit after a few mid-to-low tier ones (Achelous, Escher).

I usually take around the same amount of time to churn out these sheets. Generally I come up with a basic concept, keep it at the back of a mind for a while, and then when I actually get to work I write out the whole sheet in the span of a few hours or so.

'Protagonist' or 'antagonist turned ally' is exactly how I envisioned her, she'd be the Arturia or Iskandar equivalent character in a hypothetical Fate fanfic.

Finally, who is 'Faber'?

[ZSB1999]

Berserker

Theme

True Name- Dietrich von Bern
Alignment- Lawful Neutral
Place of Origin- Germany
Likes- Hildebrand, Taking People's Swords, Diether, Attila
Dislikes- Breaking his Swords, WITIGE, WITIGE, WITIGE, WITIGE, _WITIGE
Alternate Classes- Saber, Rider, Avenger

Faceclaim (with armour)

Faceclaim (without armour, face effected by mad enhancement)

Stats- (Regular ~ Mad Enhancement Boost ~ Noble Phantasm/Skill Boost)

Strength- B ~ A ~ A++
Endurance- A ~ A ~ A++
Agility- B ~ B ~ A+
Mana- B ~ B ~ B
Luck- C ~ C ~ B/A++
Noble Phantasm- B++

Skills-

Mad Enhancement- E (EX)

Rank up for STR, Servant retains ability to speak but has difficulty grasping complicated concepts.
At EX there are no difference to stat bonus's but Berserker's vision is distorted so that his current opponent appears as Witige, the man Berserker wants to kill most, and nothing will stop him from destroying that man/woman, nothing can calm him down in this state (except a command seal)

Berserker never truly went insane during the course of his legend. However he is prone to fits of rage where it takes Hildebrand, his best friend, stepping in to calm him down and prevent him from killing his opponent.

Magic Resistance- N/A

This skill is lost due to Berserker's multiple defensive Noble Phantasms

Demi-Human Killer- B

Berserker's attacks deal more damage against those who are not completely human, such as demi-gods and those who are part animal. However due to this skill affecting multiple groups, the bonus damage against these enemies is less than what one would expect of God Slayer- B when attacking the corresponding enemy. Ex. If God Slayer deals a bonus 50% damage Demi-Human Killer would deal 15% bonus damage.

Berserker was known for killing many Partial or Sub-Human enemies over the course of his legends, ranging from Beast-Men and Giants to Dwarves.
AN: I didn't want to put Beast Killer, Dragon Slayer and all of those skills on this sheet so I decided to mix them into one skill. Thanks to I3uster for the idea even though I think it was meant as a joke.

Breath of the Dragon- A

Restricted to the Berserker Class
The ability to release a torrent of mana like the breath of Dragons. At this rank this is considered an A rank attack. Flames are powerful enough to force even skilled dragon slayers into submission.

Berserker was known to breathe fire when he was in a rage, and won many fights this way. Most notably in his fight against Siegfried, when Berserker was at a disadvantage and starting to lose his allies told him that his best friend Hildebrand had died. This caused Berserker to go into a rage and start to breathe fire turning the tide and nearly killing Siegfried. Berserker would have ended Siegfried's life had it not been for Hildebrand appearing and stopping the fight.

Protection of the Fairies- A++

The capacity to increase one's Luck in dangerous situations. Activation is limited to battlefields, where it is possible to perform feats of arms.
Luck is Increased to A++ when in a dangerous situation(Gae Bolg). This skill is sealed upon activation of Frau Saelde's Blessing

Berserker received the blessing of Frau Saelde, who is also known as Lady Luck.


Noble Phantasms-

^{Armour of Ecke}
Rüstung des Drachen - B++ Anti-Unit Passive

Berserker wears a set of dragon-blood soaked, impenetrable armour that minus a C rank of strength from opponent's attacks. This defense can be bypassed entirely by those with A rank luck, B or higher Instinct, or B or higher Eye of Mind (False). These will allow the attacker to be able to find or notice tiny gaps in the armour. Those who don't have any of the before mentioned requirements can still find these gaps but it will take time. Dietrich himself wasn't able to find the gaps until after hours of fighting the original owner of the armour, Ecke. In addition to defense an added effect of wearing the armour is that as long as Berserker is wearing this armour, unless the opponent strikes through a gap in the armour Berserker won't drop below 1 HP. This armour can be shattered and destroyed completely by those with A+ Strength or higher if it takes enough hits.

^{Chosen Defender’s Invulnerability}
Frau Saelde’s Blessing - B+ Anti-Unit Passive

Only activated once Berserker removes his armour. Like Armour of Fafnir and God Hand this affects Berserker's skin and not armour. This Noble Phantasm is usable only once per Enemy. After it is used once it cannot be used again against that same opponent, because of this it is important to secure the kill during that encounter. Berserker will only remove his armour once his enemy has either discovered its weakness or can bypass it. This Noble Phantasm negates all attacks below B+, this Noble Phantasm also gives Berserker a rank up to Luck.

This Noble Phantasm is based on the blessing of invulnerability Berserker received during Der Wunderer from the maiden who turned out to be Frau Saelde, Lady Luck. Berserker received this blessing when he agreed to fight the Wunderer to defend the maiden when no one else would, even defying the will of Attila, who was afraid Berserker's family and allies would seek vengeance should something happen to him.

^{Sword with the Sharpest Edge}
Eckesachs - B++ Anti-Army

Berserker cuts the air with his sword and sends out a sharp blast of wind that deals massive damage to all those in a 120 degree angle that reaches 75m. The wind will cut through any defense that isn't a Noble Phantasm and has enough power to topple a skyscraper. This blast makes King Arthur's Strike Air look like child's play.

Eckesachs is the second item Berserker took from Ecke upon killing him. Forged with dragon blood by Alberich, the same dwarf that forged Berserker's sword the Naglhring. Berserker decided to take the Eckesachs as his own, and gave the Naglhring to his friend Heime.

^{Fallen Brother's Aid}
Soul of a Brash, Young Knight - B+

Anti-Unit

Berserker Gains two rank ups to Agility, Endurance, and Strength. If the stat is already or reaches A then the rest of the rank ups become pluses. Berserker's Skill Mad Enhancement is elevated to EX. Berserker cannot stop fighting until his opponent is dead unless he is stopped by a command seal. This Noble Phantasm is only able to be activated by permenantly sealing both of his Defensive Noble Phantasms, and can only be used once. The rank ups will disappear, but all Noble Phantasms, except Eckesachs, will remain sealed, after this Noble Phantasm is used.

This Noble Phantasm is a crystallization of when Berserker's brother's soul joined with his own to give him even greater strength. However being in contact with his brother's soul sent him into an even greater rage than before due to the fact that his brother Diether was killed by Witige, son of Wayland the Smith. Witige used to be one of Berserker's closest allies, and the reminder of this treachery will cause him to go into an unstoppable frenzy that no one, not even Hildebrand could hope to stop.

Personality

Extremely honorable (for a berserker) and actually isn't always looking for a fight as one might expect. In fact he really doesn't want to fight anyone that hasn't done anything to deserve his wrath, and just like in his legend he usually will need to be provoked in some way before he fights another person. He is incredibly loyal to his allies and friends and hates betrayal more than anything else (Except Witige). If he finds out that a servant has betrayed either an ally or even their own master, he will go out of his way to hunt them down and kill them. He also has an unusual fascination with collecting weapons and was very disappointed when the Noble Phantasms of fallen servants tended to fade away after they were killed, leaving him with no spoils of war.

Hope I did ok, to all of you Dietrich experts out there, did I miss anything? Also I don't mean to be pleading for responses (but I kinda am) could you tell me if I'm actually improving at all? My first servant sheet is here
- - - Updated - - -

Finally, who is 'Faber'?

Stands for Fat Saber, AKA Caeser

[RoydGolden]

Well, the NPs aren't as OP as they were originally, which is good. Still very powerful, but around the level of high-tier Servants like Karna or Iskandar rather then totally game-breaking.

I like the imagery of his Eckesachs blast being able to lop off the tops of buildings. Very cool. Reminds me a bit of the Ryuko building slice scene from near the end of Kill La Kill (damn, that was a great show).

If Dietrich's known for collecting swords you could've even given the Collector Personal Skill for some extra flavor, though I understand not doing so since he has quite a few already.

- - - Updated - - -

Stands for Fat Saber, AKA Caeser

Oh. I should've guessed.

Makes me wonder how those two would do in a fight. In a contest of pure destructive power Verci would probably take it, but Caesar's "Crocea Mors" has some very vaguely defined abilities ("seizing victory from the moment he draws the blade") that might put the battle in his favor, depending on what it amounts to in practical terms.

And of course, in a battle of armies we know who would win. (Unless Verci learned a lesson from last time...)

[ZSB1999]

Well, the NPs aren't as OP as they were originally, which is good. Still very powerful, but around the level of high-tier Servants like Karna or Iskandar rather then totally game-breaking.

I like the imagery of his Eckesachs blast being able to lop off the tops of buildings. Very cool. Reminds me a bit of the Ryuko building slice scene from near the end of Kill La Kill (damn, that was a great show).

If Dietrich's known for collecting swords you could've even given the Collector Personal Skill for some extra flavor, though I understand not doing so since he has quite a few already.

The reason I didn't give him collector was because I didn't think of it I mean because he tended to never hold on to any of his swords except Eckesachs for very long as most tended to break or he would end up giving them away after he got a better sword from a fallen enemy.

- - - Updated - - -

And now after finishing Dietrich who is easily a top tier servant, time to move on to some mid-tier servants like Sir Balin the Knight of Two Swords
(I bet you can't guess what class he's gonna be)

[RoydGolden]

And now after finishing Dietrich who is easily a top tier servant, time to move on to some mid-tier servants like Sir Balin the Knight of Two Swords
(I bet you can't guess what class he's gonna be)

Lancer? (He actually could be, since he used the Lance of Longinus at one point...)

[Arha]

She can't force people to kill, she needs their permission to make them the murderer. Otherwise she just does it herself, since Detective's Prerogative allows her to.

And she's an Assassin. The class designed to gank Masters and avoid fights with other Servants.

So, what, does her NP control enemies into acting according to her script? Because otherwise it sounds like it doesn't actually do anything.

[Bird of Hermes]

The Noble Phantasm's are still highly powered despite you clearly nerfing them, he's distinctly on the same tier of Heracles, Siegfried and Lancelot. Good call on not giving him the ability to hold onto swords as that would put him on game-breaking level.

Balin wielded the Lance of Loginus where he defeated an entire kingdom and he wielded Arondight before lancelot did so he's kind of the Arthurian version of Diarmiud. But you know, angrier and "edgier"

[asterism42]

So, what, does her NP control enemies into acting according to her script? Because otherwise it sounds like it doesn't actually do anything.

Sort of?

What it does is more like manipulating circumstances and probability so that everyone is in the right place at the right time. Creating the perfect situation for a murder to occur. But she can't force people to think or do things with it. It's more like setting a stage than writing a script.

[ZSB1999]

The Noble Phantasm's are still highly powered despite you clearly nerfing them, he's distinctly on the same tier of Heracles, Siegfried and Lancelot. Good call on not giving him the ability to hold onto swords as that would put him on game-breaking level.

Balin wielded the Lance of Loginus where he defeated an entire kingdom and he wielded Arondight before lancelot did so he's kind of the Arthurian version of Diarmiud. But you know, angrier and "edgier"

Did he use Arondight? I thought he had the whole sword of virtue thing, I know it was Galahad's sword later and that lancelot used it at one point but I didn't think it was Arondight. Also ya Balin would definitely have E rank luck because almost everything that he did that could be seen as "good" came back to bite him

[Arha]

So you were joking when you called her overwanked then? Because she's pretty terrible.

[asterism42]

I mainly called her overwanked because of Double Summon.

[Arashi_Leonhart]

Did he use Arondight? I thought he had the whole sword of virtue thing, I know it was Galahad's sword later and that lancelot used it at one point but I didn't think it was Arondight. Also ya Balin would definitely have E rank luck because almost everything that he did that could be seen as "good" came back to bite him

Arondight is the sword that was given to Lancelot by the Lady of the Lake in the Prose Lancelot cycle stuff, although it isn't given a name in those sources. Balin/Galahad's sword is implied to have Avalon origins but is never outright stated such and yes, is a separate weapon.

[Bird of Hermes]

Anyways, here's one of the three servants I was working on.


Class: Lancer (Can also be summoned as Caster)
True Name: Connla 'Child of the Hound' Not like he'll tell you though...
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Place of Origin: Ireland

Strength- B
Endurance- C
Agility- B
Mana- C
Luck- E
NP- B

Height/Weight: 150cm/42kg
Likes: Family, The power of friendship
Dislikes: Communication Failure
Talent: Everything to do with magic and combat
Natural Enemy: Fate

Class Skills:

• Magic Resistance (C) - Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

Personal Skills:

• Eye of the Mind (False) (A) - A natural talent to avoid danger on the basis of an innate 6th sense, intuition, or prescience, where accuracy of instinct has been augmented by experience - somewhat overcoming the problem of visual obstructions that appear in the course of combat. The ability grants an effect of offering resistance against penalties caused by visual obstructions. Despite his incomplete training and being a child still, Connla was able to fight Cu Chulainn on equal terms.
• Prodigal Son (B) - Connla is the child of two of the greatest warriors of his time. Trained by his mother, Aífe for his whole and tragically short life. Not only does Connla have mastery in any weapon, he can temporarily display nearly any appropriate skill used by an Irish hero at proficiency of C~B rank.
• Protection from Sleep (B) - An increased defence drowsiness and wear. At this rank, excess duress is required to make one tired. Powerful sleeping potions that would make a normal man fall into a near catatonic slumber for twenty four hours gives this servant only light sleep for one hour. Originally an inborn ability of Cu Chulainn that would be available to him if summoned in Ireland, Connla inherited this trait where it manifested actively.
• Rune Magic (A) - Knowledge about this type of Magecraft that originated in northern Europe. At this rank, one can use the original 18 runes to high proficiency. He was taught this art since birth from his mother.

Noble Phantasm

• Saoil s Turas Journey of a Lifetime (Anti-Unit)(Self) (B) - A powerful Geis, represented by Connla's gold ring on his thumb, the ring that symbolises the start of his journey. These Noble Phantasm Geis' binds his soul, even after death and they are: “Do not answer your name when asked” Lancer cannot speak his true name or the names of heroes he is associated with, “Do not turn back once you start your journey” Until he has completed his 'given goal or target' Lancer cannot abandon it, whatever it may be. and “Do not refuse a challenge” This however has to be a challenge between two or more people, not someone challenging him to do something. These were the rules set out to him by his father on his adventure to come find him and enforced by his mother to ease his burden. Alas, these restrictions were the worst imaginable in Connla's circumstances.
  Connla's Geis act as both a blessing and a curse. The blessing empowers Connla to give him a continuous boost to his Mana reserves while allowing him to divine is 'Goal', whether it be the literal or metaphorical end of his journey, essentially giving him the 'Revelation' skill ranked at 'A+'.
  He is incapable of breaking this Geis, due to his high willpower so that only Command Spells will affect him. In the event that he does, all his skills will be sealed and he the positive effects of the Geis will be lost to him forever.

Lore

"It has truly been a privilege to have known you. And fought you. My name is… Connla."
Connla is the son of the Ulster champion Cú Chulainn and the warrior woman Aífe. He was raised alone by his mother.
While they were hated enemies, Cú Chulainn realised that he found Aífe appealing, so he pursued her and was beaten by Scáthach for it. They eventually parted ways, and he asked that if she bore his child to name him Connla and send him to Ulster. He was to be given three vows to follow: "To not answer his name when asked", "To not change course", and "To not back down from a fight", the worst possible rules that could be given to his son. When Cú Chulainn returned to Ireland he left Aífe pregnant. She gave birth to a son she named Connla and trained him herself.
During his journey, Connla cames upon the warrior Conall Cernach. When asked his name and lineage, he refuses to answer and is challenged to a duel where he quickly disarmed the older man. Cú Chulainn then approached Connla, asking the same question.
As he could not answer, the two fought. After duelling for an entire day, Cú Chulainn was pressed back and forced to resort to using the Gae Bolg, instantly piercing Connla's heart. Upon reaching his final breath, Connla told his father his name before passing away. Cú Chulainn then recognised the ring given to Aífe by him and that it was on Connla's hand.
Despite only being a child, he was an equal to Cú Chulainn in every way but he’s still under that Geis that makes it so he can’t tell anyone his name which means he has to aggressively imply who he is, even to his own master. Connla has a bit of an inferiority complex as he seems himself as "not his father", calling himself a "Bargin-discount Cú Chulainn" and would ask his master why he was summoned instead. He would actually get along very well with Mordred due to bonding over their "daddy issues."
He just wishes for a chance to reunite with his father and have a chance for a proper reunion.

A mid tier servant with a lot of potential, just like in real life. He'd be most apropriate in Fate/Zero where he'd likely end up deconstructing shounen anime protagonists everywhere.

[ZSB1999]

Love the Connla sheet my only gripe is that Eye of Mind True should probably be False instead due to Connla not being very experienced but still being to hold his own. False would better show that he was naturally gifted at combat

[Bird of Hermes]

Love the Connla sheet my only gripe is that Eye of Mind True should probably be False instead due to Connla not being very experienced but still being to hold his own. False would better show that he was naturally gifted at combat

Thanks! Fixed it.

[Crying]

No, as in, "Delusional Illusion" is the title of Hundred-faced's Zabaniya.

Shit, really? Can't believe I forgot that.

Good thing I changed it, huh?

The image link seems broken.
I liked Delusional World a lot, but I think it would be good to describe Hassan's inner world (for instance, what does it look like? The fortress of Alamut, perhaps? Or maybe only the gardens of paradise inside it?), especially if it has any "mechanical effects" to represent the "smiting of infidels".
As for Fedayin... Eh, to be honest, I didn't really like it. I mean, I understand and accept the reasoning, I just think it's not something very Assassin-like. That said, maybe you could classify it as Anti-Unit (Self)? A+++ seems like a fair Rank, considering it summons 17 other Servants.
Oh, and I just realised: how does he fight, usually? For instance, True Assassin had his dirks (and a corresponding Skill). What about this one?

Damn, I'll see what I can do about the image link.

Eh, I'll try to add some descriptions and stuff for Delusional World.

Fedayin is... well, I doubt there's anything I could do to change your mind.

Well, that Assassin was based off of the IRL Hassan-i-Sabbah, who didn't do any assassinating, let alone fighting. I honestly think I made his Presence Concealment too high, but it seemed wrong to give any of the Hassan-i-Sabbah a low rank in that skill.
He mostly just converted and debated and stuff, he didn't even take Alamut by force.

I guess I could include something about weapons/fighting in there, though...

--EDIT--

Mmkay.

The faceclaim should work now.

I've also added a small category for weapons to his sheet and touched up on his Zabaniya a bit.

[Bird of Hermes]

Delusional World reads a lot better and fits the first Hassan quite well. Nice job.

--Edit--
Also, if anyone has anything else to add on Connla, it would be well appreciated.

[Crying]

Sure I'll give you some feedback.

He's... honestly rather boring.

He doesn't really have any skills with unique or interesting effects. I mean, Prodigal Son is technically unique, but it's pretty much just a reflavoured Imperial Privilage, except more limited.

On top of that his NP has some potential to be interesting due to the variability it has, but is held back by the fact that it isn't interesting to read about or fun to imagine the applications of. That might just be due to the lack of text, though.