Chapter 4: Warmth
"And the world has somehow shifted."
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The room was dark, and warm; it was still far too early in the morning for the sun to begin rising, to spill any light over the land, and the fact that the drapes of the windows were firmly drawn shut only added more absoluteness to the darkness, as if to deepen it, to ensure that it never went away even when the sun came up.
Things were easier in the darkness, sometimes.
A soft rustling came from the bed, a shifting, a sign of movement and life; deeply tangled between the twisted sheets and her sister's warm, surprisingly firm grasp, Rin did her best to try and crawl away, keeping as quiet as possible. She was nearly off the side of the bed when a hand reached out, gently catching her wrist.
"Sakura?" She didn't know why her voice was so soft, so breathless; it was if she feared that if she spoke too loudly, the moment would end. The thought bothered her for some reason, and she didn't know why.
"Mmmm, Nee-san…" Sakura shifted and curled tightly against her pillow, never opening her eyes. Rin wondered if she was even awake. Slowly, the older girl shifted again, pulling away from her sister's hand.
Only for the younger girl's arm to move again in a flash of movement, her fingers closing firmly and gently on her wrist.
…
Either Sakura was awake, or she was really good at sensing when someone was trying to get away from her, even in sleep. Rin licked her lips and tried again. "Sakura?" she asked softly.
The younger girl's grip on her tightened a little, and she gave her wrist a gentle tug. "Stay." Her voice was soft, and thick with sleep, but…. There was a pleading tone to it, a request, a whimper.
Please stay. Don't leave me here alone.
Rin hesitated. Staying wasn't smart. Staying meant getting attached, talking about it, lingering on how soft and warm and sweet her sister was. Staying meant making things much, much more complicated than they needed to be. Leaving now was best; leaving now would establish distance, establish that this had been for mana, and was a one time thing at best.
"Nee… san?"
Silently, Rin crawled back into her original spot, unable to resist the small, soft smile when Sakura immediately latched onto her and curled tightly around her, murmuring happily in her sleep.
"Don't worry," she whispered, lifting a hand to stroke her sister's hair. "I'll stay."
She didn't know who she was telling to not worry, Sakura or herself.
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At long last, it was time to move.
Saber Alter wasn't a being meant to feel more than dull rage; she felt no surge of excitement or anticipation, no sharp bite of concern or even the brief entertainment of strategy. No, when all was said and done, Alter was nothing more than a glorified hunting hound, meant only to obey orders as they were given.
And her Master had ordered her to take the small white princess of Einzbern.
"No strategy meeting?"
Saber sounded just a little concerned, a change that caught Alter's attention. "There is no need," she said calmly. "I know my orders."
"Well, it's all well and good to know your orders, but it's somewhat pointless if you have no strategy, yes? You have my memories, so you know that Berserker won't be easy to take down—"
Wordlessly, Alter shouldered the corrupt Excalibur, and was swallowed by the surge of black shadows.
"—Or you could just ignore me."
Alter didn't even bother to grace her comment with a response.
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Sakura wasn't used to waking up with a feeling of warmth and safety; her room in the Matou mansion wasn't a place where she was meant to feel safe or at home. It was something she had learned years ago, and over time it was something she had come to understand and accept. In the end, not even her own room could offer her a haven from the hell she experienced on a daily basis; her room was the place where it all began, really.
But something was wrong. She was waking up, she was beginning to stir and feeling the faded sunlight against her naked skin, and she felt… warm, safe, protected. Almost loved, somehow. This wasn't how she normally felt waking up in her room, and it was the first clue to her still groggy mind that something was different, this morning had changed from all the mornings of her past.
That wasn't the only difference, though. She didn't feel free, exactly, but her body felt infinitely lighter than it had last night, cooler, somehow more collected and solid, in a sense. It was a strange sensation, and she couldn't explain why she felt so good physically when her mind was still so cloudy. Maybe it was a new kind of cold?
Yawning and deciding not to worry about it until she had fully woken up, Sakura stretched and blinked groggily, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. Her vision blurred for a moment, then adjusted to the lighting of the room…
And the first thing she saw was long, silky strands of black hair spilling onto her pillow.
Well, now, that was odd. She made it a firm habit of sleeping alone, even when Shinji came in to have his way with her; last she had checked, her hair wasn't this long, and while it had certainly been black at one point in her life, it was now purple, stained by Matou magic that had been forced onto her unwilling body from childhood. So the hair certainly wasn't hers, that much she knew.
Which circled right back around to the biggest issue: someone was in bed with her. Someone warm, and soft; someone who definitely preferred cuddling as their method of slumber. But someone nonetheless.
Okay. I won't panic. I won't scream. I'll simply pull the sheets back and politely ask them to leave. If they refuse, I'll ask Rider to remove them as silently as possible so Nee-san doesn't hear.
With that in mind, Sakura nodded to herself and glanced down, enough to glimpse the face of the person sleeping beside her.
And, for a moment, could only stare blankly at the peaceful, sleeping face of one Tohsaka Rin, the older girl snuggled against her and, at some point during the night, having managed to bury her face in her sister's neck.
For a moment, Sakura's clouded brain sparked and went dead. Why was Rin in her bed? Why was Rin cuddling her? Why was Rin naked? Why was Rin—
Oh. OH.
At long last, the drunken high that had occupied the younger woman's brain cleared, leaving her with nothing but incredibly vivid memories of what had happened last night. Immediately, Sakura blushed so red that it seemed all of the blood rushed into her face. Right, that's… that's why she's here…
Tentatively, still red enough to make a tomato jealous, Sakura lifted a hand and gently ran it through Rin's hair. Now that her mind was clear and she could accurately assess how her body felt, she could only conclude that the… mana transfer… had been successful. The fever and sickness she had felt yesterday was gone, replaced with strong, clean energy surging through her blood and making her feel lighter and stronger than she really was.
That was good. Rin would be happy to hear that. She had wanted to help, after all; she would feel better knowing that her suggestion had succeeded. Sakura knew that now was probably the time to wake the older girl up, to let her know that she was okay…
…
…
…
She'd wake her up later. There was no rush. It had never hurt anyone to sleep in a little, right? Being an active Master in the War, Rin needed as much sleep as she could, after all. It was only fair to let her sleep in at least a few minutes.
"Ne, Rider." Her voice soft so as to not wake her sleeping sister, Sakura continued gently stroking Rin's hair. "Would you mind doing me a favor?"
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He'd made too much food.
Shirou stared blankly at the breakfast he had prepared, and in the back of his mind realized it was far too much for one person alone to eat. It wasn't as if he'd done it on purpose; he had simply worked out of habit, making a large breakfast to satisfy the cravings of Taiga, the bottomless pit of Saber, the shyness of Sakura. In a matter of days, he had become used to having many people in his home, many people who demanded food.
Now, he was the only one left in his home.
Taiga would probably be away until the War ended; for all of her playfulness and immaturity, she took her job as a teacher seriously, and did her best to look after her students. She wouldn't come back to his house until she was absolutely certain that the school was safe, even if his cooking was much better than hers had ever been. When push came to shove, the woman everyone affectionately called Tiger still put duty ahead of her own fun.
Sakura was at Rin's house now, and she would probably stay there until the War was over, if not long after. It only made sense; they were sisters, and they were working to rebuild the bond they had lost. Shirou hadn't wanted to interfere with that, and he doubted that Sakura would stay away from his house forever; no doubt when it was safe again, she would visit him as she always had. But she would probably never, ever live in his house again.
Saber was…
His chest clenched painfully before the thought could fully form; grimacing and biting down on his bottom lip, Shirou gripped the edge of the kitchen counter to steady himself, taking a deep breath.
Saber was gone; she was dead. She would never come back. She had only been in his home for a few days, only since the War had started, and her death had been an attempt to keep him from harm. It was the natural cycle of a Servant, one that he shouldn't have questioned or felt any pain from, but…
I miss her.
Taking another breath, Shirou shook his head and slapped his cheeks, trying to shake off the emotions he felt. Now wasn't the time to grieve. Perhaps when the War was over and the threat of Zouken was destroyed, he would take the time to honestly grieve for the partner he had lost. But right now, in her memory and to protect Sakura, he couldn't afford to be overwhelmed.
His mind cleared, the red-haired boy once again found himself gazing at far more food than he could ever possibly eat by himself.
"… I suppose I can wrap some of it and save it for later," he said at last. It would make just as much sense to throw some of it away, but he hated to waste so much good food. Besides, perhaps he could bring the rest over to Rin's house? She would probably appreciate it, and it would be a good chance for him to check on Sakura.
"Shirou."
His heart jumped into his throat. He knew that voice; he knew that tone. Cool, businesslike, almost emotionless to someone who didn't know her; but beneath it all, whenever she said his name, that small trace of amusement and affection, genuine caring for the boy she had formed a contract with. He turned. "Sab—"
She was taller than him. He had never noticed that before, but with her standing right in front of him, Shirou could now see that she stood a good few inches above him. Her pale purple hair swished silently at her hip, blindfolded eyes meeting his in a gaze he felt even though he couldn't see her face. And always present, always there, was the scent of blood.
"—Rider." Reality crashed into Shirou like a speeding train, and he could only hope the tall Servant hadn't noticed his brief lapse.
… Um, why is she in my house?
As if sensing the question that had crossed his mind, Rider spoke. "It was Sakura's request that I check on you. She was worried about your wellbeing."
Despite himself, Shirou smiled softly. Yes, that certainly sounded like Sakura; even when she was in danger, she would worry more about other people than she ever would about herself. And deep down, he was happy that even though she couldn't leave Rin's house on her own to visit him, she had thought to send Rider.
Even if, for a crazy moment, he had thought she was Saber.
"I see," he managed, noticing that she was expecting some kind of response from him. He rubbed the back of his neck, then managed a smile that she could see. "Thank you for coming Rider. I appreciate it." He hesitated. "But…"
Rider shifted from foot to foot. "Yes?"
"Um…" How exactly did he say this without sounding rude? "The accent you just used to say my name. I'd like it better if you pronounced my name the right way."
"Right way…?"
There was a moment of silence; Rider surprised Shirou by actually seeming to think it over, bringing a hand to her mouth in contemplation. The boy, meanwhile, stood there silently; he hadn't expected the black Servant to heed his request, much less think about how she should heed his request. He was further surprised when he heard her mumbling softly under her breath.
"Sh.. Shirou… no, um… Shirou… Shirou… Shirou… Shirou." She nodded to herself after a moment, then repeated his name one last time to herself, as if confirming it, before looking at him again. "Is that better?"
Shirou swallowed a little. What had just happened? For a moment there, Rider had been… well…. Cute. Who had ever thought that the tall, agile Servant dressed in black and smelling of blood would be so eager to appease his request?
I guess she's just really awkward around people…
"Yeah, that's much better. Thank you." He bowed his head in thanks.
"Please, don't thank me." Rider waved her hand, as if dismissing it. "You didn't like the way I said your name. It's only fair that you would ask me to correct it."
Lifting his head, Shirou chuckled and turned his back to the Servant, putting some of the food he had made on a plate. "It's not that I didn't like it," he murmured. "It's just that, I prefer you say my name correctly."
That's right. The only person I ever wanted to call me like that… she's the only one who had that right.
Rider might have nodded, or made some small sound of agreement or understanding; Shirou wasn't quite sure, with his back to her. All he was aware of was that several minutes passed as he finished setting the table, and the lilac-haired woman was still in his kitchen, watching him. He couldn't tell if she was still under orders at this point, or if she just was unsure about leaving him alone.
Finally, he untied his apron and hung it up in the kitchen, prepared to eat. He paused for a moment, then glanced at Rider. "Ne, Rider."
"Yes?"
"Would you like to stay for breakfast?"
There was a pause as Rider seemed to consider this; deep down, Shirou was prepared for her to say no. She was a Servant, with a fully formed contract with her Master; unlike Saber, she had no reason to eat food. It would make sense for her to turn down his offer.
So he was shocked when he noticed a small, barely noticeable smile curve her lips. "Since you asked so nicely."
Shirou blinked. "Rider…"
"Yes?"
"Did you just smile?"
And as quickly as it had appeared, her smile was gone. "I did no such thing."
Shirou decided to not push his luck.
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It wasn't unusual for Rin to be slow at waking up. Even when she had been under threat of school and maintaining her perfect school idol image, she had never been quick to roll out of bed and start the day. It had always escaped her mind as to why anyone would be so eager to jump out of a warm, soft bed into the cold air.
This morning in particular was especially good. Her bed felt incredibly warm and extremely soft and smooth, even if the sensation against her body didn't exactly match her bed. Ah, well. Maybe she had fallen asleep in one of the other empty rooms in the house; it wasn't unusual…
Something soft tickled her nose. She grunted softly and shifted, trying to get away from it, but she still felt the soft thing against her cheek. In and of itself not a bad sensation, but certainly very odd, and enough to stir her cloudy mind into waking. Grumbling, she opened her eyes, squinting against the faint sunlight.
"Good morning, Nee-san." Sakura's voice was warm, somewhere close to her ear. In her still waking state, Rin didn't find it odd.
She yawned and stretched, like a cat in a patch of sunlight. "Morning, Sakura." She rubbed her eyes sleepily with the back of her hand, then blinked.
Wait.
Was Sakura in her… no, this wasn't her bed, it felt different, so that meant… that she…
Why am I in Sakura's bed?
Her now fully awoken mind noticed something else odd. Namely, that she was completely naked—how had her skirt ended up on a lamp?—and her hair was free from the usual ribbons that tied it back. Very slowly, she shifted.
Sakura was pressed against her side, lightly hugging her pillow, gazing at her sister with purple eyes that were both loving and nervous.
She was also naked.
And at long last, her mind connected all of the dots.
Slowly, Rin opened her mouth; she intended to say something, she knew that, but the only sound that came out was a small squeak. The two sisters stared at each other for a good, long moment. The silence stretched on, and seemed to have no end. Finally, noticing something red dangling from the ceiling, she slowly lifted her eyes and blinked.
… I didn't know Sakura's room had a ceiling fan. At least now she knew where her sweater had gone off to.
Rin's eyes lowered; once again, they stared at each other. After a long moment, she coughed. "Um… your clothes are…"
Sakura gestured to her side of the bed, where her clothes were neatly folded.
"… Right." Trying her hardest to not blush at the implications, Rin took a deep breath. She would be calm and composed about this. Her voice came out as a breathless, high-pitched squeak. "So, um… breakfast?"
Sakura latched onto the suggestion like it was a lifeline, nodding frantically and murmuring a soft "That sounds good" as she shifted and pulled the sheets back, reaching for her clothes. Blushing and hastily ripping her eyes away from her sister's form, Rin grabbed her skirt from the lamp, then once again lifted her eyes to the ceiling.
… How do I get my shirt down?
Sighing and rubbing her eyes, she sat up and shifted, standing to her full height and reaching up to grasp the red material, hoping it wouldn't rip. In the meantime, still getting dressed herself, Sakura saw the blur of flesh out of the corner of her eye; unable to resist, she hesitantly peeked back over her shoulder, letting her eyes linger…
Then hastily snapped her gaze back around when Rin glanced at her, her cheeks burning hot enough to burst into flames. She heard a grunt and felt the bed squeaking under her, but she dared not look back, not for an instant; how would she explain if Rin caught her peeking?
…
Her eyes slowly crept back to her sister's naked figure before she caught herself again and jerked away, yanking on her shirt with unneeded savagery.
After a moment, Rin groaned. "Sakura?"
"Yes, Nee-san?"
"Where are my stockings?"
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"S-so, um, you… you have enough mana now, right?"
Rin was the one who broke the silence, her voice still far too strained and nervous to be considered her natural tone. She and Sakura sat back-to-back on the bed, the purple-haired girl staring resolutely at the wall as her sister finished dressing, having finally found all of her clothes after a brief hunt through the bedroom.
Very slowly, judging it was safe, Sakura glanced back at Rin; the older girl wasn't looking at her, but to her relief, she was fully dressed, simply tying her ribbons back into her hair. She cleared her throat. "I-I'm fine, Nee-san," she managed. "I… feel much better than I did before. So I… I think.. it w-worked."
At that, they both blushed. Saying it had 'worked' was hardly the right word to describe what had happened last night.
Rin finished tying her ribbons and tossed her hair back. "Well, I'm glad," she managed, running her hand through her black strands. "It would have been bad if we had failed."
Sakura's blush deepened, and she clasped her hands together. "I don't think we could have failed," she murmured. "You're… a very strong magus, Nee-san. You had plenty of mana."
It sounded calm, almost clinical in describing what had happened. It didn't make their blushes fade a bit.
Rin cleared her throat and hastily stood up, moving so fast that Sakura jumped and looked at her in surprise. "So! Breakfast! It's late, and you can't work on an empty stomach, right? We should get started now!"
Baffled, Sakura slowly nodded and stood up, smoothing out her skirt. Figuring the issue was resolved, at least for the time being, she headed for the door.
… Dammit. "Sakura."
She paused, glancing back. "Yes?"
"It was, um…" Rin hesitated, cursed herself, then sighed, running her hand through her hair again; a nervous habit she had never known she had. "I, uh… I hope last night was… good… for you." She practically spit the words out, relieved when her returning blush didn't get any deeper. "I'd never had sex before last night."
For a long moment, the two sisters stared at each other again. Finally, understanding what Rin was doing, Sakura giggled softly and smiled at the older girl; a true, honest, amused smile.
"Don't worry, Nee-san. Before last night, I'd never had sex with a girl."
With that, looking as if she glowed with the sun's radiance, Sakura headed out of the bedroom and downstairs. Dimly, in the back of her mind, Rin realized she had to move quickly if she wanted to claim breakfast making rights and make things fair, so the cooking was split between the two of them as she had intended.
But for a good minute or two she simply stood there, dumbstruck by the genuine warmth she had seen in Sakura's smile and, quite suddenly, feeling as if butterflies had come alive and were fluttering about in her chest and stomach.