Create-A-Servant 2

[Kabalisto Koga]

Okay i see my second was also not very good,but have i improved my Layout actually?
and sorry if i have unintentionaly remindet someone here on something unpleasant!

[King of Padoru]

As a matter of fact, I was considering giving him a chariot from Kaguya-hime and a pestle from the moon rabbits, but I wanted to give him something original. I guess I'll go with that.

Update: Never mind, I just found a version of his legend where he has a sword.

[Hakuro]

Well this was my take on Tsukiyomi... and it was Kaguya, but I am not sure if it really works.

[King of Padoru]

Oh, that's an interesting things of viewing things. If I had to do a version of Kaguya, I wouldn't have considered making her be Tsukuyomi, but something more a la Arcueid. I may consider doing something similar.

[RoydGolden]

Gentle King: Wow, his NP and backstory really remind me of Shu from Guilty Crown (complete with a name-dropping of the Void Genome from that show). Other then that though, this is a quite good sheet. You clearly put a thought into what his various Skills and abilities mean thematically, which helps the sheet feel like a coherent whole rather then a bunch of vaguely related elements. His personality is simple, but well fleshed out.

...I can't help but wonder what would happen if Shirou summoned this guy. That is, if the universe doesn't explode from sheer concentration of quasi-suicidal altruism...

[King of Padoru]

Thanks to everyone who has helped me with this profile, although in the end I've taken a different path. This is my Tsukuyomi:

"Excuse me. Could you stop munching whatever that thing is in front of me? It makes me remember something gross, thank you... Oh dear, I have insulted her again..."

Rider
Identity: Tsukuyomi no Mikoto
Gender: Male
Height: 170 cm
Weight: 58 kg
Alignment: True Neutral
Origin: Japan
Weapon: Sword

Parameters

Strength: C+
Endurance: B++
Agility: B+
Luck: A
Mana: B++
NP: A+

Background

One of the three Shintoist deities known as the three noble children, born from the god Izanagi no Mikoto. Besides Tsukuyomi, the other deities are Amaterasu Ōmikami and Susanoo no Mikoto. These three gods were created when Izanagi was purifying himself upon entering Yomi, the world of the dead, where his wife Izanami resides. Tsukuyomi was born from the washing of the right eye. Both Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi rose to the heavens, becoming the rulers of the sun/day and moon/night respectively, and eventually marrying each other.
This marriage between siblings ended with the killing of Uke Mochi, goddess of food. Tsukuyomi went to a feast on Earth presented by Uke Mochi, representing his wife. The goddess started pulling out food from her cavities, and although everything looked delicious, the scene was infuriatingly disgusting for Tsukuyomi, who killed her with his sword. Amaterasu got mad at her brother-husband for this and moved to a different part of heaven, causing the separation between day and night.

Personality

From among the three siblings, Tsukuyomi is the most serene and composed. He usually shows a behavior characteristic of a condescendient nobleman (just look at his face), and doesn't like unserious people.
He regrets having angered Amaterasu and feels he shouldn't be active during daytime, for that's her domain. "The day is for the sun. I'm the moon. If I show myself during the day, she will be angry again".
He also seeks forgiveness from Uke Mochi, but although he tries hard, he can't help but feel disgusted when he sees food. "I want her to forgive me from Yomi, but when I remember how she pulled food from that place and that other place I can't help but want to vomit".

Skills

Class skills:
Riding A+: The ability to ride any kind of mount even if it didn't exist during one's epoch. Allows to ride any kind of vehicle and creature that isn't from the Dragon Kind.
Magic Resistance A: Grants protection from spells below A rank. Practically untouchable to modern magi.

Personal skills:
Core of the God EX: A set of skills representing one's status as a god. Besides granting Divinity, it avoids mental interference and bodily changes due to growth or eating. Since Tsukuyomi is a bunrei and the summoning doesn't require a possession, it shows EX rank.
Lunar Phasing EX: Since Tsukuyomi is a lunar deity, his powers are influenced by the lunar phases, receiving different multipliers according to the shape of the moon. During the full moon, his power can increase up to 5 times.
Familiar (Rabbits) B: An ability that allows the use of rabbits as familiars. Although this kind of ability is usually reserved to members of the Caster class, since the rabbit is an animal associated with the moon in Japan, Tsukuyomi can use it. It allows the direction of rabbits by thought, without needing a contract.

Noble Phantasm

Chariot of the lunar king
Tsukiō no Sensha

Type: Anti-Army
Rank: A+ (originally EX)
Description:
A chariot that doesn't really belong to Tsukuyomi, but to the royal court of the Moon present in the tale of Kaguya-hime. A flying vehicle that emits a blinding light when summoned. Depending on the NP parameter of Tsukuyomi, its flight capability can surpass that of a spaceship and reach the Moon in a few hours. It has the disadvantage of only be usable at night.

Tainted sword of starvation
Gashi no Osenken

Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Divine
Rank: C+
Description:
The sword used by Tsukuyomi to kill Uke Mochi. Originally a regular sword, it has been tainted by Tsukuyomi's feelings. A cut from this sword will drain nutrients (mana in the case of Servants) in a certain degree depending on the importance of the wound. Since Tsukuyomi doesn't like this effect, he usually fights without unsheathing the sword.

As you can see, he's a situational Servant that will become stronger or weaker depending on the date. I thought it'd be a good idea to make him like this to nerf him while not making him lose his identity. His second NP is meh, but I wanted to give him something to use without having to look at the calendar.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Here is my third Profile and moshi gozaimazen for my two last failures after i heard your oppinions !
But i dont give up!

Grendel
(Berserker)

Background

Grendel was a Hybrided Giant and the Enemy who fought against Beowulf.His Mother was a Meerweib whoose true origin a kelpie was and a Giant.He was known as terrifying threat for Humans but unknown for them ,he protected his Homeland out of duty as one if not the Last of his Kin,and this Although he was only at half one of them,in his childhood he saw the slaughter of his kn by the Humans,and out of this Trauma he hated the Festivals and laughing of the human because he feeled that her happynes was at his kins cost...

Appearances:He is as Giant a Man of collosal Build and surmounted even Herakless and DariusIII with his 3.45 meters,his rust colored Skin is more scale as human-Skin ,he has slit-like amber eyes ,he wears atleast as Berserker only (similar like Herakless) a loincloth.He carries a sickleclaw-shaped mace as Weapon.


Personality:He has a latent hatred on the Humanity for destroying his Homeland and slaughter his friends and Clan,although he isnt as blind in his Raging Hatred to not differ under the People to not recognice good hearted Humans as he had as child friends under them.Despite his highranked Mad Enhancement is his Mind only dazed and dulled but a conversation is fundamentaly possible and he is able to act reasonable.

Abbilities:
He has thanks to his Born Demon,Monstrous Strenght and Mad Enhancement Strenght A++,Endurance A++,Agility B.Mana:A,Luck:C
He has due to his size a almost terrifying amount physical power.despite his size he is quite nimble .His personall skill is Born Demon RankA ist provide a Parameter bust,magic resistence at Rank C with a A+ Rank curse immunity,batle continuation rank B,and D Rank presence concealment as Berserker.
He has as Berserker only one reall useable Hougu :

Cruth-atharrachadh dhiadhaidh dorcha(Dark Ancestral Transformation)

It is the sublimated maternal origin and with it he transform into a Aquatic/amphibic Dragon of the phantasmal rank, he becomes 17 Long,5 meter tall ,get the abbility to Control water like would it be Volumen Hydrygyrum (but in greater dimensions),spit Water Balls with the effect of a Cannonball,Produce a Darkness Dragon-Breath attack(and clad is Body in a Reinforcement like fashion ,be enables to fly for a limited amount,dive unlimited and be able to absorb Mana from the Environment.

He has also Qualifications as Saber and Assasin

[Bird of Hermes]

Looks like tonight is the night for making future heroes and OC’s into Servants. Not my cup of tea in the slightest but hey, you do you.

As for Tsukuyomi, I think the parameter choices are a bit odd. Either have them set and multiply like Gawain’s or go fully into to E~A fluctuation like Hideyoshi. Also as a full blown god, a skill like Godly Divine Core would be more appropriate than regular ol’ Divinity.

- - - Updated - - -

With Grendel, I get that English isn’t your native language but the formatting is a bit all over the place which makes it even harder to read.

[Criarino]

Gentle King: Wow, his NP and backstory really remind me of Shu from Guilty Crown (complete with a name-dropping of the Void Genome from that show). Other then that though, this is a quite good sheet. You clearly put a thought into what his various Skills and abilities mean thematically, which helps the sheet feel like a coherent whole rather then a bunch of vaguely related elements. His personality is simple, but well fleshed out.

...I can't help but wonder what would happen if Shirou summoned this guy. That is, if the universe doesn't explode from sheer concentration of quasi-suicidal altruism...

Today in the morning the first though that crossed my mind was "how would be if Shu Ouma was a servant?" First I tried to create a "normal" servant, but didn't had any idea good enough... So thought about a pseudo-servant. I made several modifications to be more "nasu inserted", but anyone who watched the anime would recognize( with the soundtrack, FC and such)
So... He IS Shu Ouma
And if he was summoned by shirou... The universe certainly would explode.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Sorry Bird of Hermes would you have some suggestions and advises to make it better for me?(litle additionally Question what is a OC again?)

[Bird of Hermes]

Sorry Bird of Hermes would you have some suggestions and advises to make it better for me?(litle additionally Question what is a OC again?)

OC, Original Character.

I’ll keep it short. My advice first and foremost is slow down. This is the third sheet you’ve in 2 days that I can recall. Take your time and make sure the basics are done (grammar and a neat structure) then that way when you focus on making a singular quality sheet you can put your best ideas into it.

- - - Updated - - -

Today in the morning the first though that crossed my mind was "how would be if Shu Ouma was a servant?" First I tried to create a "normal" servant, but didn't had any idea good enough... So thought about a pseudo-servant. I made several modifications to be more "nasu inserted", but anyone who watched the anime would recognize(even with the soundtrack, DC and such)
So... He IS Shu Ouma
And if he was summoned by shirou... The universe certainly would explode.

Seems like it would have been easier to go to the modern fiction thread and just make Shu a servant outright.

[Criarino]

Sorry Bird of Hermes would you have some suggestions and advises to make it better for me?(litle additionally Question what is a OC again?)

One good advice is to read the other sheets here too, so to have a better idea about a sheet's organization.
And don't worry, I'm not a native English speaker too (in truth I'm Brazilian). With time you will adapt and learn many things.

Seems like it would have been easier to go to the modern fiction thread and just make Shu a servant outright.

"Simply make it a servant" and where would be the fun?
And, I was thinking... We really need a different thread only for modern fiction servants? Wouldn't be better just add this category to the index? This servant I did wasn't TOTALLY a Shu, so I didn't know if I posted him here or there, that thread already confused me like this before too. In this thread we have a better feedback, too.

[Express]

And, I was thinking... We really need a different thread only for modern fiction servants?

Yes. Yes we do.

[Dragolord09]

We already have one on this board.

[Bylackbre]

I have a bit of a question and challenge for anyone who is curious. A friend gifted me his copy of For Honor a few months back and there was a character within it that recently made me curious about something. The question/challenge is at the end of this post.

For those that haven't played For Honor, here is a trailer that was officially made introducing Apollyon and giving slight insight into what she seeks out as an "Age of Wolves:"


For those unaware here is a bit more about what exactly it is that Apollyon strives for as well as why she fights for it. Apollyon is the warlord of the Blackstone Legion which is one of the two dominant subfactions among the knights with the other subfaction being the Iron Legion though the latter was temporarily absorbed into the Blackstone Legion as part of the campaign. Apollyon seeks to use her forces as well as the two other major armies of the setting to restart a war that had lasted for centuries and hopefully spark an eternal war without peace.

Before she was a warlord bent on restarting a world war, Apollyon was once a young girl whose village was raided by vikings after the man who supposedly had the strength and responsibility to defend the village abandoned his post as he deemed the village unworthy of protection. This young girl swore vengeance on this traitor and when she was sixteen she got her chance when she ambushed and then brutally executed the traitor as well as having his armor reforged for her own use. At some point Apollyon was part of the Iron Legion but she was part of a group that decided to form their own legion with Apollyon killing eight of her comrades for the title of warlord of this newly formed Blackstone Legion.

Apollyon views the state of the world as one in which the weak rule over the strong when it should be the other way around and that peace only breeds weakness with war being the only time in which the strong can thrive and people can be as bloodthirsty and warlike as they actually without having to hide it. This "Age of Wolves" is an age in which the weak are rooted out and either die or become wolves like everyone else which translate into social darwinism and an attempt to create a world where everyone is fit to survive unlike the people of her village.

Apollyon seeks out to create a state of constant warfare to remove the power the weak have over the strong, let humanity reveal its true face in her eyes, and to ensure everyone is fit to survive by creating a world in which the weak/sheep are unable to survive against the strong/wolves. "War, I am War."

What servants or historical figures do you think would agree with Apollyon's philosophy and would also strive for an "Age of Wolves" if given a chance. I am curious as to if anyone has any ideas for someone who would also seek out an "Age of Wolves" as a wish from the holy grail or even attempt to start one before whatever holy grail war they are part of comes to an end. If you were to make a servant sheet based off the concept of a servant striving for this idea, who from history or mythology would you do? Could you think up and make a sheet based off of a seeker of such a dangerous idea?

I know this would probably be better as a prompt for the Monthly-Make-A-Servant thread but I don't see myself winning that contest anytime soon so I figured I would just share this here and see if anyone is up to taking on a little friendly challenge. I won't feel bad if nobody gives this post a second thought but I am curious as to if someone could think up of someone that would pursue this goal (besides maybe the horseman of the apocalypse associated with war.) All in all I hope you guys have a good rest of your day.

[RoydGolden]

Can't think of any Servants who fit it off the top of my head, but that philosophy strikes me as pretty similar to Twice's goals from Fate/Extra. (Or, for a non-Fate example, Big Boss's Outer Heaven from MSG)

[Historia]

Someone from the Volsung Saga.

I nominate Signý or Gudrún.

[Express]

Augustus

[Bird of Hermes]

Signý does sound pretty ideal for that actually.

[the god of world-0]

This reminds me of the time when i got confused over if i could post my willy wonka sheet here. Like, the sheet had so many original ideas that it was certanly not just a formating of character onto a certain container, it was really more like the sheets on this threed then the sheets on that one.
I get why people dont want to see a "goku" that tries to be as OP as possible to win against gil. But maybe the rules can be a little more malleable