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Type: Posts; User: Pastykake

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    I miss reading contest entries. Also, I finally...

    I miss reading contest entries. Also, I finally bothered to put the title in Google Translate, and I like the extra touch.
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    "Pompous beacon" amused me. "I don't have...

    "Pompous beacon" amused me.

    "I don't have time to watch her win."
    "Why would I consider an impossibility?"
    Damn, this Shirou is quick.

    I like the vs. Kirei fight. It's choreographed without...
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    This is glorious and LOL-tastic.

    This is glorious and LOL-tastic.
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    Haha, I like that juke. I can appreciate "Will...

    Haha, I like that juke. I can appreciate "Will they/won't they" tension as long as, in this case, in the end they don't.
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    I see. That helps. Thank you for the insight.

    I see. That helps. Thank you for the insight.
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    I think the setting descriptions are pretty...

    I think the setting descriptions are pretty hammy. The dramatic language could stand to be toned down.

    I like the catalyst for potential character development in Saber when Shirou says his line...
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    I briefly had the thought I had just because, at...

    I briefly had the thought I had just because, at least in the U.S. where I am, we're primed by oversaturation of the plot development market, if you will, to see romantic tones in anything intimate,...
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    Does Sakura ever call Shirou by his name? I guess...

    Does Sakura ever call Shirou by his name? I guess we wouldn't know what she calls him in her mind given all the media we have are from Shirou's perspective, but it seems odd to me.

    The fight is...
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    * I don't get why Shirou would have that dream...

    * I don't get why Shirou would have that dream when Archer’s not his servant. I don't think resonance covers it. I've only seen the anime adaptations, but surely Shirou canonically sleeps at Rin's...
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    I appreciate your skill in orchestrating the plot...

    I appreciate your skill in orchestrating the plot such that some canonical events still happen despite the AU, but for new reasons that are plausible and don't feel contrived; namely, Caster pulling...
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    I didn't think about it too hard. If I had to...

    I didn't think about it too hard. If I had to conjecture, I would assume Shinji had Rider attack Shirou because he's jealous of Shirou's close relationship with Rin, and maybe because this Shirou...
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    My thoughts: * I don't think Shirou would be...

    My thoughts:
    * I don't think Shirou would be able to so deeply and eloquently read into the look on Kirei's face when he's a little kid who's barely conscious.
    * I'm entertained by this more...
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    I was surprised, then quickly assumed it was a...

    I was surprised, then quickly assumed it was a necro-post because the story is a completed one-shot.
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    ....^

    ....^
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    The grammar needs a lot of work, and some...

    The grammar needs a lot of work, and some sentences don't even make sense. There are also long passages that were pasted in twice. As for the story, I'm not against the self-insert isekai trope, but...
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    Liiiiit.

    Liiiiit.
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    I'm too lazy to do proper research. What's this...

    I'm too lazy to do proper research. What's this about Takeru being Amaterasu's master?
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    Yeah, Sigmund.

    Yeah, Sigmund.
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    The first drabble is funny but ends on a serious,...

    The first drabble is funny but ends on a serious, philosophical note. I like both sides of that. The second is fucking incredible. (I like the hints that Zouken manipulated Sakura into catching them,...
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    If the climactic fight with Saber is next update,...

    If the climactic fight with Saber is next update, is there any benefit to guessing Saber's identity at this point? The clues I remember, in case compiling them helps anyone see it, are:
    – Wields...
  21. Thread: Empty Gold

    by Pastykake
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    I can tell the difference in their "voices", so...

    I can tell the difference in their "voices", so you've navigated that successfully thus far. Also, I much enjoy the diction of your prose, if I didn't make that clear before.

    "He was walking" vs....
  22. Thread: Empty Gold

    by Pastykake
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    I first read this when there were two chapters...

    I first read this when there were two chapters out, and I'm extremely glad to see it updated, with chapters I missed in the meantime besides.

    I can't offer deep critical analysis of literary...
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