Typing with TypeWannabe

[TypeWannabe]

I'mma gonna put all my crack snippets in this thread, because my head is busting with them, and because Blaz/stay night and INSURMOUNTABLE have both hit obstacles. See, for those two, I actually went ahead and did several chapters ahead in response to a few choices I'll have you guys vote on. But I've run into writer's block, so those can't go any further. Here's this.

~0~

Table of Contents

1. Kiritsugu Fun Times with Shirou
2. Heartless
3. Arching with Archer
4. Casting with Caster
5. Riding with Rider
6. Lancing with Lancer
7. Issei's Secret
8. Shinji Matou and the Chamber of Secrets.
9. Reforged (Archer x Saber centric)
10. This Is Our Land (Issei/Fuyuki centric)
11. For A Shining World (???)
12. Lean On Me (Sakura x Shirou centric)
13. For Someone Else's Glory (EMIYA centric)
14. Follow Our Brothers in Arms (Shirou/Archer/Lancer/Berserker/Saber centric)

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

Tale #1: Kiritsugu Fun Times With Shirou

One night, when Shirou was thiiiiiiiiis widdle, Kiritsugu came in to find he was having a bad dweam. So, Kiritsugu sat Shirou on his lap and read him a book.

"Once upon a time, there was a man. After some time passed, there wasn't anymore. The End."

"But dad, what happened to the man?" young Shirou questioned.

"He died," Kiritsugu said flatly, "like everybody eventually will. Now, go to bed."

Shirou never had a bad dream again. Because he didn't want to hear any more of Kiritsugu's bed time stories. But that book stayed on his mind. It was a big tome, far too big for Shirou to carry by his little self, and yet that was the only story in there? But Shirou was scared to open that book and look for himself. That book frightened him.

So one day, Shirou asked Kiritsugu a question.

"Dad, was that the only story in that book?"

"Yep."

"But that doesn't make sense! That book is huge, how could it only have one story?" Shirou was naive.

Kiritsugu sighed, and went and fetched the book. He stretched out his arm, offering it to Shirou.

Shirou hesitated, and eventually shook his head, "No, forget it dad. It doesn't matter."

Kiritsugu nodded, and put it back, and it was never mentioned again. In time, Shirou forgot all about the book, and what it might hold. In time, the world forgot about it too. The book holds his life's story. It holds all the stories that ever will be and ever were. Inside the book is the universe.

[HappyCube]

Damnit, can't stop laughing at that story! Poor man ;_;

[mist2123]

Shirougrimoirebane ? is that you?

[Alulim]

This interests me. That book is worth fearing.

[Sherrinford]

The fuck, Type?

That was a good snippet. I don't know what to say, really.

It holds all the stories that ever will be and ever were.

The same does this snippet. Fucking saved.

[TypeWannabe]

Tale #2: Heartless

~0~

In the night, I hear them talk.

Sakura’s head hurt. Her heart ached. Her body burned with shame and the anguish of any human who has realized that they’ve been played for a fool.

Coldest story ever told

“It’ll be alright Shirou, Sakura will never find out,” her sister’s voice came through the thin paper walls. All the lights were turned off; the moon was hidden by the clouds. It perfect night, a picturesque darkness.

“Tohsaka-“her senpai’s voice came through, as innocent and naïve as always.

“Shh,” Rin’s soft and seductive voice whispered through the air as though it came from wind carrying poison.

‘Don’t listen senpai, don’t!’ Sakura pleaded with him in her mind. She wanted to barge in, she wanted to yell and scream and accuse, but she still had faith. She still had a small amount of respect left for her upper-classmate. He had confessed to her, she had heard him say that he loved her. ‘Please don’t do it, please, please, please…’

Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul

Sakura heard then, in the silence, in the blackness of the night and the soul, the quiet sound of a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less. It was a kiss. She heard sheets rustle, she heard the creak of the floor boards (senpai always said he should get those replaced, she remembered). There came through the paper an appreciative moan, quite feminine. Sakura felt like screaming. Yet all she could do was stand there, hands clasped tightly (like a vice, she felt later the pain of asphyxiation) behind her. She had her eyes closed; she didn’t need to see ahead. There was nothing to see anyway, the darkness was everywhere.

Sakua realized she was praying, though not even she knew to whom. ‘Please, just let him throw her off, don’t let her take this too’, she pleaded. There was no answer, not a single word or sign or action in the night. Why had she come here, why did she have to hear this, she wondered. Oh yes, that’s right. Today, she had brought over a basket of kitchen ingredients because Shirou had said he was out of them. Her grandfather would be displeased, she vaguely noted in the back of her mind, he specifically said not to spend unnecessary cash this month. Something about the renters of certain property being late on their payment, Sakura never paid much attention to grandfather’s affairs.

For some reason she had let her hair down, she had tucked her ribbon (the ribbon her own sister had given her, before…everything) away into the basket. It was night before she realized that it was missing, which was absurd even to herself. How could she have forgotten something so important, was this entire thing destiny just deciding to mess with her?

To a woman so heartless

There came another moan through the paper (why was it so thin, why did every sound have to amplified in the stillness?), more charged with lust and passion than before. No mere kiss this time. The sound was still feminine, it was still that. Damn. Tohsaka. Sakura clenched her mouth, and ground her teeth together until she thought they would break through each other and go through the roof of her mouth and her jaw. She dared open her eyes, inadvertently letting out a few tears. Her eyes could see, at least a short ways, in the dark. There was a small sliver in the wall, where the door was normally closed. It was a crack, just wide enough to likely let one peering eye through. She needed to see, she needed to know.

Quietly (how could that word pertain to her in this state?), Sakura knelt and laid trembling fingers on the ground. Her heart beat so fast, and so painfully. Each beat felt like a hammer smashing her body to pieces. ‘Grandfather won’t like me being out so late,’ again Sakura’s thoughts turned towards that shriveled old monster. It was easy to see why. Tonight was another ‘special’ night, the night where he would force her to go down to the basement. She had never been late before, she had never dared to run away before. But for this man, for this (slimy, dirty, despicable, hateful, caring, nurturing, warm, loving, deceitful, cheating, honest) person, the only one she could force her isolated heart to love, she had dared to come back. No, it wasn’t even for that. It was for the ribbon. It was strange, Sakura would later reflect, that she would risk punishment for such a tiny piece of cloth. Truly, fate had it in for her.

But now was not the future, now it was just her, with the fear of what she would see through that crack in the door. There came a rush of inhaled air, a gasp of…pain? Of pleasure, more like, Sakura thought. No, no, I can’t think like that, she tried to quell the dark thoughts that rose without provocation. There must be some reason, there needed to be. Shirou wouldn’t do something like that, he couldn’t, he promised. She remembered with crystal clarity just two days ago, his arms encircling her body, his lips touching hers. That someone like him, someone so good could love a pitiful creature like her…

‘Ah, but he didn’t mean it, not now,’ a nasty voice piped up in her mind. She never knew where this thought came from; it would always enter into her head occasionally, spreading corruption and decay throughout her mind and soul. ‘Think on it, why would Tohsaka be here at this time of night? A girl and a guy alone, tee hee, what else do you think they could be doing?’

It had felt good, that declaration of love, that romantic kiss under the fading sunlight. No, it had felt incredible. Her heart had been bursting that day, full of joy and love, and not a single speck of darkness within it, not a single ounce of resentment. Because he, Emiya Shirou, had told her, Matou Sakura, that he loved her. Not any other girl, not some athletic pro like Ayako, not a perfect woman like Rin, not any of the other girls that he doubtless would have found more attractive. It had been her. That thought gave her enough courage to finally put her right eye to the crack in the door.

And Sakura’s heart broke, into a thousand white little butterflies that gently floated away in the abyss.

[Sherrinford]

...

... I think this has become one of my favorite threads.

Saved again.

[SeiKeo]

....whoa.

[Alulim]

...This...this is...wow.


I cannot find words to adequately describe how this makes me feel.

[Spinach]

Dude.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

Glad I finally found this.

[Altima of the Gates]

*stepples fingers* Interesting. It was an intense read, I must say.

[VelspertheCat]

So much for trying to make everyone happy, Shirou.

[Neir]

This works.

[lethum]

So much for trying to make everyone happy, Shirou.

Clearly, this Shirou has been contracted by New Hell to free the escaped spirits from the hearts of maidens, and Rin was his first Target.

New Hell vs AM...somehow, not very balanced.

[VelspertheCat]

This only works if Ilya gets a broom of mass destruction.

[daniel_gudman]

Clearly, this Shirou has been contracted by New Hell to free the escaped spirits from the hearts of maidens, and Rin was his first Target.

New Hell vs AM...somehow, not very balanced.

His buddy (Caren) appears before Shirou and explains that as long as he jumps the BAR, even if he's a moron, he can capture the girls and force out the evil spirits! Eventually, they'll find the one with the biggest, evilest spirit of all, and save the world. Ah, but don't forget which route you're working on, because you only have four days before the reset when everyone forgets.

But in the end, Shirou will discover that what he was looking for was inside himself all along!

[VelspertheCat]

Spoiler: It's a sword.

[Mike1984]

Damn you, Type....

[TypeWannabe]

Hey, what'd I do? It can hardly be said that it's my fault my tastes tend toward the tragic and sad.