The Grail Works Mission Dossier (Discussion & Ideas)

[Kieran]

The lack of matches DID make me consider that, especially with the "passing through doors" part, but I wasn't sure enough. You fiend.

That's why the title was specifically "Epilogue."

Oooh, that's specifically Grail Works Shirou, of course. Now it all ties together.

Yup - "Way for Fujino to Join the Works, Step 2," complete.

I feel like that might be fanon, but I have heard that before as well. Having trouble citing it.

Likewise, but if it is, it's fanon that makes sense - if we could get Ryogi, why would we need Nanaya? So I'll let it stand for now.

[Kieran]

So, I'm sort of mentally compiling a list of who might be addable to the Works without a ridiculous amount of mental or narrative gymnastics - here's who I have so far . . .


Ayaka Sajou (Fate/Prototype) - Wants to avoid the Holy Grail War, stumbles through a Door. Potential Master, non-Clock Tower magus with specialties in witchcraft/"black magic," chloromancy (plants), otherwise average.

Manaka Sajou (Fate/Prototype; and a terrifying concept, I know) - Part of the Holy Grail, born connected to the Root, and already able to at least partially access parallel worlds, according to Fate/labyrinth.

Fujino Asagami (Kara no Kyokai) - Laid this out in "Dead by Moonlight," so no further details beyond the fact that she'd be 22; and because odds are that without Ryogi Shiki's presence (and Mystic Eyes), she's dead, otherwise (appendicitis) - assuming we use the canon version of her history, at least.

Azaka Kokuto (Kara no Kyokai) - Like Fujino, age 22; an Azaka followed her Master's path a little longer than canon implies. . . Has no interest in or patience for Clock Tower politics, and no talent beyond fire magecraft.


*NOTE:* Though what the Garden of Sinners looks like without a Shiki with Mystic Eyes, I can't imagine; I only know it does exist because Ayako supposedly hits on (and gets rejected by) Mikiya in college . . . Shiki might actually be normal(-ish) because of lack of suicide attempt; and admittedly, most of the crap from the series, so far as I've learned, is the result of the one magus trying to get at her Origin, but . . .

If Shiki is around, and canon followed something like its usual path, Mana is probably about five, tops?



Miyu Sakatsuki/Emiya (Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya) - Shirou's wish was "Send her somewhere she can be happy . . ." Of course, that means dealing with the Ainsworths, but that's sort of what the Works was formed to do, so . . .

The real question will be how Miyu interacts with Ilya - both as a "rival" little sister, and as a "complete" Grail in her own right.


Olga Marie Animusphere (F/GO) - Brought this up in-thread, so no further elaboration needed, right?

Ritsuka Fujimura (female) - She is in Chaldea, according to the cameo in First Order, and vanishes with all the rest; maybe she finds a Door . . .? She'd be an interesting bundle of contradictions - a "first-generation" magus who looks like Shirou and Rin's daughter (which fics and fan art have played with before, obviously), but has a variation on Taiga's family name? She's a Master in her own right (potentially), and has potential Harem Protagonist powers.


Ayako Mitsuzuri (Fate/stay night) - She's already been on at least one Works mission, even if she doesn't remember it - and a "token normal" is not a bad thing to have.

Arihiko Inui (Tsukihime) - Same reasoning; and if Nanako's hiding in his closet, there's potentially more reason . . .

Ciel (Tsukihime) - This would need explaining, but she is the only main heroine not present.

Satsuki Yumizuka - Again, it would need explaining (especially since she'd mesh better as a human); but doesn't require as much as some characters would. And her being the "token normal" might actually make sense, considering.


Hakuno Kishinami (real, either gender) - We don't know when they died, exactly, but the cause was genetic, so the lack of Fate/EXTRA's setup wouldn't change that. As with Ritsuka, a potential Master (maybe?), though the different system may cause issues - but definitely another potential harem protagonist.


Miyamoto Musashi (Fate/Grand Order) - Our world-wandering genderbent Saber is moving naturally through parallel worlds; it'd just be a matter of leashing her to the Works.

Servant Universe Servants? (Fate/Grand Order) - Pros: Living Servants from an entirely different universe where everyone is one; also bent towards a sci-fi/tokusatsu genre, so it adds a diversity of skills the Works doesn't have - and certain characters are considered dead there . . . Cons: Most characters revealed so far are dopplegangers of existing ones - which, while potentially funny, will no doubt raise eyebrows in Fuyuki itself. Plus, they're largely ludicrously overpowered (I'm looking at you, Space Ishtar) . . .






. . . Can anyone think of anyone I missed?

[Vigilantia]

I think it'd be better to calculate the scenario/universe first (and subsequently the powerlevel you're working with) before choosing a character. Afterall, it'd be harder to add Ayako to anything with an uber-high fantasy level.

[Kieran]

I think it'd be better to calculate the scenario/universe first (and subsequently the powerlevel you're working with) before choosing a character. Afterall, it'd be harder to add Ayako to anything with an uber-high fantasy level.

You are, of course, quite correct; but this is just in general - an idea of who we could add to the pool of overall available characters without necessarily needing to go through a ridiculous amount of justification in the process.

That's not true for all of them, obviously; and Servants can be added on a mission-by-mission basis, so long as the appropriate catalysts (or compatibility, or other reasons) are at hand, which is why they're not on the list, bar the one exception. Adding them permanently is an entirely different issue, of course . . .

. . . Anyways, it just came up because I keep musing over who to pair with my character; so I figured I'd make a list, and see who actually could reasonably be expected that wasn't already there. It's actually a fair bit longer than I thought, even if nowhere near the level of, say Fate/Grand Order's roster.

Anyways, as I said, suggestions welcome.

[Arbitrarity]

You had also previously mentioned Caren as a possibility, based on her access to the Emiya household, though it's a bit stranger, so the narrative or mental gymnastics might clear the bar.

You have the two obvious applicants from Anarchy, Laeticia and Fiore, neither of who require too much narrative wrangling (though they do require a bit).

Your recent omake also made me wonder if BB would make sense, since the Moon Cell is presumably somewhat aware after Melancholy of One, and if anyone was going to do it, it would be her.

[Kieran]

You had also previously mentioned Caren as a possibility, based on her access to the Emiya household, though it's a bit stranger, so the narrative or mental gymnastics might clear the bar.

She's one of the ones who requires the least narrative effort in regards to actually showing up, yes - it's getting around her connections to the Church that's the tricky part.

You have the two obvious applicants from Anarchy, Laeticia and Fiore, neither of who require too much narrative wrangling (though they do require a bit).

Yes - Laeticia because, aside from being a perfect host for Jeanne, I'm not entirely sure what she'd do (which does, of course, offer that "blank slate" appeal . . .). Another token normal?

And I've waxed long and often on the issues with Fiore . . . Honestly, I'm half-tempted to turn her into the Pseudo-Servant Mysterious Alter Ego Lambda, just to spite those issues.

Your recent omake also made me wonder if BB would make sense, since the Moon Cell is presumably somewhat aware after Melancholy of One, and if anyone was going to do it, it would be her.

*Chuckles* You're undoubtedly right, though her abilities wouldn't be near as overarching in the real world (by narrative necessity, if nothing else). I could see the Moon Cell doing it to get rid of her, though - or Altera, whom I've seriously considered . . . Except that she really doesn't want to fight, and there's little else the Works could offer her, in terms of opportunity; what else would you use her for, if not her combat strength?

[Kieran]

Unknown place
Unknown time








In the world of Exalted, the culture and nature of Lunar Exalts was focussed around a single concept: survival.

In the setting of the game’s “present” age, that cast them as nomadic barbarians on the absolute edges of Creation, where the primordial and alien Wyld—the literal chaos from which the world had been brought forth—forever prowled, seeking a way in. In the setting’s past, it cast them in the role of guardian and helpmeet of the Solar Exalted. Whether as muscle for the less combat-inclined Twilight and Eclipse Caste, courtiers and spies smoothing the path of the martially-adept Dawns and Dusks, or sages to temper the zeal of the priestly Zenith Caste, and similarly zealous personalities, with wisdom and knowledge; they adapted as necessary, to endure whatever was thrown their way.

The Lunars were the Stewards of Creation; administrators and protectors of the frontiers the Solars conquered, implementers of the policies the chosen god-kings of Creation devised—but above all else, they were survivors. And more than that, the Exaltations themselves were designed to move from host to host, seeking those empower those worthy, who reflected their natures . . .

As such, the man most recently known as ““Godafrid Úa Súilleabháin” really shouldn’t have been surprised at waking up—though he might be forgiven for his reaction to who he woke up as.

“—rina—dy—rina . . . LADY KATARINA! Are you ALL RIGHT?!”

Crystal-blue eyes blinked fuzzily in confusion for a moment—and then the eight-year-old girl looked down at herself and screamed.








So, “I’ve Reincarnated into An Otome Game with Nothing But Destruction Flags,” he thought ironically, as the series’ title and his situation were identical, even if the circumstances were almost entirely different. In hindsight, I suppose I really should’ve seen something like this coming . . .

After all, his “Exaltation” was a recreation of the concept by an entirely different pantheon, who operated under a totally different metaphysical paradigm and history—why would he expect it to conform completely to Exalted’s rules and design?

That he was the core “past life” of the Lunar Exaltation made a certain kind of sense; it had been created ex nihilo, so whom else’s memories and skills would it pass along? That he was the personality in charge was a bit more surprising. While Exaltation usually occurred in near-death situations—hence its being termed “the Second Breath” (as in “breath of life”)—it typically worked as reincarnation was said to (outside of manga storylines, anyway), with the new host acquiring fragments of previous hosts’ lives and memories along with their powers; but they were still unequivocally themselves. And yet, he didn’t feel the presence of any other personality, or memories, much less the ones he might’ve expected from Katarina Claes—perhaps hitting her head on that rock was meant to kill her?

It would, he supposed, fit more in line with Sehanine Moonbow’s stance on death being meant to be final . . . But that still didn’t quite line up.

Whatever the reason for it, however, he was presently trapped in the body of a little girl. Specifically, she was a noblewoman in a fantasy world who would, under ordinary circumstances, either grow up to be the villainess in a girl-oriented dating-sim game, or abruptly remember being a player of that game prior to her death, and spend the rest of her time trying to avoid the death or exile the game’s storyline mandated for the villainess at its end, regardless of the route chosen to get there. He was neither of those—but fortunately, he was also, unlike the latter, not airheaded enough to fail to realise that she’d avoided all the “destruction flags” years ago simply by being a nicer person than the spoiled-brat-turned-villainess, and persist in unnecessary (albeit hilarious) efforts.

Granted, he’d only read the first two manga volumes of the series—which were an adaptation of the light novels, in addition to being an incomplete recounting of the story—but avoiding all the “destruction flags” should be simple enough, regardless. As to being a girl . . . Well, Lunars did have gender-switching Charms, and he had at least two to four years before puberty hit; figuring out how they worked should be possible. And he knew his Charms were still working; he could feel the Essence expenditure concealing his tattoos—which, by nature, were meant to contain and protect his nature as an Exalt—so accomplishing it wouldn’t be a problem so long as he could figure out how to . . .

Really, the biggest problem he was liable to have was contacting the Works; magic existed in this world, but its operating system was very poorly detailed, beyond being elemental in nature (“Katarina Claes,” his present identity, was a minimal-talent earth mage). He wasn’t at all sure it was capable of supporting summoning, much less something like summoning Servants—which meant the easiest method of catching Ilya’s attention was out.

Still, like the gender issue and the “destruction flags,” there was no real reason he couldn’t work the problem out given time. He might need to keep an eye on things when “Katarina” was supposed to go to “magic academy”—AKA, the plot of the game this world was based around—as there was something about a “Destruction Arc” hinted at in the forthcoming third volume of the manga that he’d never gotten to read . . . Still, by then he could do that as “Katarina,” or (hopefully) a male identity. Or, if worse came to worst, as a “wild” animal; magical mascots were a thing in most girl-oriented series, especially when the heroine had “light” magic, after all—extremely rare and special, apparently, but also ill-defined in nature.

We’ll call that “Plan B,” he decided.

The real frustration in all of this, he thought, was being reduced to childhood again; that and his new body’s more-than-passing (and coincidental?) resemblance to Fiore . . .

He looked at the mirror, frowning. The features were rounder—unsurprising, as he was less than half her age, and therefore nowhere near grown out of the “baby fat” stage—the hair and eyes were darker (and the former straighter, the latter larger)—but there was definitely a similarity. It wasn’t exactly pleasant to look at; like the universe was deliberately mocking him . . . But he’d deal with it, for now. Like gender, for a Lunar, overall appearance could be fluid, and it just gave him more reason to learn how—

“—rina! Katarina, are you listening to me?!”

He jumped, startled, abruptly becoming aware of and turning to the speaker. Widening his eyes a touch, he said as earnestly as possible, “I’m sorry, Mother—my headache was distracting me. What were you saying?”

The stern-faced woman scowled. “Apparently, my excuse to the prince was more valid than I realised: you really would have difficulty following a conversation—though I’m pleased to see you retained your manners, at least,” she added grudgingly.

“Now, attend me this time, Katarina,” she ordered sharply, “this is important.

“Prince Gerald was so distraught over having injured you, he went so far as to offer marriage as a compensation”—the matron smirked—“so as of today, you are officially betrothed!”

What?!

“WHAT?!”

“Plan B” was suddenly looking much more viable than it had ten seconds ago.

“All Routes Lead to DOOM,” indeed . . .

[RanmaBushiko]

You've been referencing this so much, I had to wonder if you'd make an omake eventually... still quite hilarious, though. Poor Godafrid.

[Kieran]

You've been referencing this so much, I had to wonder if you'd make an omake eventually...

I was thinking about it, but largely waiting on either the third manga volume or the first light novel before seriously looking into it . . . However, I got bored, so . . .

still quite hilarious, though. Poor Godafrid.

Yeah - theoretically, the ability to avoid all the series' problems; in application, however . . .

[Kieran]

Ryudo Temple
Three weeks after the Holy Grail War








She could have complained.

Certainly, the assignment was prestigious; she’d been handpicked by the professor as his replacement, after all. And it would do wonders for both her academic scores and her resume—that could possibly be parlayed into enabling her to get her degree that much sooner (and through less expensive means), or simply look good to a potential employer. In the modern world, either was a good thing, and if she managed both, it would mean substantial gains for her.

It was, also, technically her job. She might still be a student working on her bachelor’s degree—not even a mastery of any kind—but this kind of thing was what the Research Centre for Buried Cultural Properties did. And she could hardly go against her superior; much less her professor . . .

Still, she could have complained. She could’ve pointed out that there were any number of students that were just as qualified as she was (there were), in equal or greater need of the practical experience (again, there were). Not to mention, less potentially damaging to the institution’s reputation; but that would’ve required them to know about some of her out-of-school activities, and she’d never mentioned them before to anyone, much less the faculty. Yet, as she ascended the mountain stairs (why were there so many stairs . . .?), she kind of wished that she had.

She always had been a coward . . .

Despite the effort necessitated by the climb, and the hesitations caused by her self-recriminations, eventually, she reached the top. Once there, she took a deep breath (resisting the urge collapse in exhaustion, as there was a young man waiting for her there) and forced herself to stand straight—as of now, she was representing the Centre, after all.

“Good morning,” the boy said politely, if a bit diffidently, as he subtly looked her over (she mentally labelled him the “student standards enforcement” type, judging by his reaction to her blonde hair). “Would you happen to be . . .?”

“I am with Kumamoto University’s Research Centre for Buried Cultural Properties, yes,” she answered firmly, bowing and drawing a business card in a practised motion.

(Yes! She’d managed to not to drop it this time—practising in front of the mirror did pay off!)

“Professor Yamaguchi sends his apologies, but found he was unable to attend to matters himself,” she continued. “However, he did not feel right, given the importance of the temple, to ignore your needs simply because of his own selfishness.”

Bowing, she concluded, “I am inexperienced, admittedly, but I will do my best to assess the conditions here, nonetheless.” Rising to look the boy in the eye, she added, “I will be overly cautious in my diligence; if I suspect any threat to the works here, however unlikely, you will know about it.”

“. . . I find myself believing in your sincerity,” the youth admitted. “To that end, allow me to tender my apologies; both for my doubts, and for my lack of manners.” He bowed. “I am Ryudo Issei—welcome to our temple, Sajou-san.”








After a week of study and exploration of the grounds, she was reasonably certain of several things.

First, none of the visible cultural artefacts had been damaged in the earthquake; any as-yet undiscovered ones in the caves beneath the temple were a more open question, of course. Still, she hadn’t found any yet, though she was reasonably sure that the cave system’s structural integrity was also good, which boded well.

Second, she really wished she’d known about this place the last time she’d stayed in Fuyuki; if she could have been here rather than that apartment, then . . .

(She shut that line of thought down, hard; past experience had taught her that dwelling on said experiences was a very bad idea.)

. . . Regardless of events, this would have been a much nicer spot; it had prettier scenery and much more pleasant company—which, considering they were largely Buddhist monks, said a lot about her prior accommodations. The fact that the temple was protected, and by an anti-spirit barrier, at that (which could’ve dealt with her specific problem), possibly meant that she could have stayed long enough to—

(No, she was not going there. There was no point; it wouldn’t accomplish anything, now.)

In any case, that brought her to her third major observation: on a magical level, this place was crazy. How on earth had the Owners not set up a workshop here, assuming they were serious practitioners?

. . . It wasn’t her problem, really—she’d more-or-less stepped out of that world years ago, and it had been indifferent enough to let her—but the sheer incongruity of it was baffling.

Nevertheless, it meant that she explored the caverns with a raised guard, so to speak; what she knew of magi meant that they would’ve had to be forced not to use this place, and very few things she could think of would actually be able to accomplish such a thing. After all, she’d met the priest—the Tohsaka disciple—when she was here last. Given what she’d seen of him, and learned of his master’s history, it was a pretty safe bet, in her mind, that “religious reverence” was not the reason in question . . .

As such, she was very careful—and thus, almost immediately noticed the stain.

What little witchcraft she had wasn’t good for much; Father had taken the Crest with him when he died, and there was only so much an eleven-year-old could learn of magic (who wasn’t Harry Potter, anyway). But she knew enough to know black magic when she encountered it; even faded and scrubbed away like this seemed to be.

It was clean, as far as the taint of grudges went (insofar as she could tell, at least). It was mostly the spiritual equivalent of scar tissue; the mark of something that had been, and had a profound effect on the land around it. She’d seen a few of those spots on her last trip here . . .

But the fact that this one seemed to emanate from the convergence point of the ley lines was worrisome.

A closer investigation revealed that there had been something else here, as well—the core piece of some truly massive and complex metaphysical mechanism (the Holy Grail, maybe?), whose presence was now absent.

She frowned. If someone had actually stolen the Holy Grail, she should have gotten nowhere near this place; the Clock Tower and the Church would’ve sent enough people to bury the temple—possibly literally. But if someone had actually managed to win the Holy Grail War Ritual, then . . .

. . . No, there still should been enough magi and priests to bury the temple; either to steal it from the victor, eliminate the victor before they made a wish someone didn’t agree with (or was outright dangerous), or just flat-out ingratiate themselves with the victor. It shouldn’t have just outright up and vanished—

If she hadn’t been operating on a hair-trigger, the attack would have taken her head; as it was her barrier of feathers and sudden jump backwards still weren’t enough to keep her left arm from getting cut up, and she let out a cry that was as much pain as it was horror.

Because gathering itself out of that taint, coalescing into a solid (-ish) form even as it drew the stain out of the air and into its substance, was literally her worst nightmare: a static-riddled form of red and black, gazing at her hatefully despite the depths of the hood that concealed its face, its long cloak drifting in a non-existent breeze—or perhaps, its own animalistic snarls, as it rasped furiously.

“SISTER . . .”

[Xamusel]

...let me guess. Fate/Prototype?

[Kieran]

...let me guess. Fate/Prototype?

Yup - Ayaka to be specific, but it probably wouldn't take much adjusting to use her sister, instead, if someone wanted to.

Mostly, I wanted to see if it could be done, and done without resorting to Kaleidoscope shenanigans; after all, Ayaka's been skirting around the edges of the canon Fate universe for years. And between the ghost story in Hollow Ataraxia and the two apparent Ayakas in Fate/strange fake, I think there's enough here to cobble together something that stands up . . .

Obviously, the Sajous were not (officially) involved in the Holy Grail War. However, as with all alternate-timeline War participants (specific example, Marisbury Animusphere), they were interested in it. Manaka and her father disappeared in 1994, and it's presumed that she was the victim of the Fuyuki child killer. Granted, at that point she was 17, and possibly out of Uryu's age range, but based on everything else, it's the official assumption.

In actuality, either Manaka wasn't as good at hiding her connection to the Root as she thought, or without the distraction of participating in the Grail War, Hiroki actually grew a set of eyes and/or a functioning brain. And in the grand tradition of all magi (especially ones with an heir they could safely hide away), he decided to take a thorough look at how he might exploit that . . . And Fuyuki's local serial killer provided excellent cover.

Manaka might have near-omnipotent, but omniscient, she was not - her death was neither quick nor easy. And whatever Hiroki got out of it, if anything, is impossible to say. He was staying at the Hyatt Hotel, you see, and . . .

Five years later, at sixteen, Ayaka took it upon herself to try and find out what happened to her family, and took a room in the Semina Apartments. However, I'm of the opinion that whatever happened there, if "everybody" knows about "Mr. A" and "Little Red Riding Hood," then it's because it was the cover story put in place by Kirei and/or the Association. My personal thought is that Manaka was near-omnipotent, the Grail system is/was semi-active at the time, and she's too stubborn to die easily. Draw your own conclusions from there.

In any case, all I have for certain on this version of Ayaka is that she's 21, a semi-retired magus, and dyes her hair blonde outside of school in memory of her sister - and, obviously, an unwitting harem protagonist on Shirou's level. What do you think?

[Kieran]

(Or, Why Frid Should Not Be Sent to Rom-Com Anime)







Grail Works, Ltd. Headquarters
Avalon Castle, Phantasmagoria Isle








Ilya contemplated the girl in front of her. Her blonde hair and blue eyes seemed distinctly un-Japanese, but you’d never know she wasn’t, based on her behaviour; or at least, based on Rin and Akiha-san’s reactions to it, anyway.

For all that she’d presented herself as a servant to a greater lady, her mannerisms and speech screamed “high-class noble,” herself—Ilya could recognise the type.

“I foresee no actual difficulties in fulfilling your request, Hayasaka-san,” Akiha said crisply, after lowering her teacup from her mouth. “Indeed, barring a day or two to research matters, I am confident that the issue can be resolved within hours at most.” She paused before adding delicately, “I am, however, rather puzzled that you came to us—surely, your employer has better resources to hand . . .?”

Now that name, Ilya had recognised. Foreign she might be, and isolated from the modern world the Einzberns definitely were, but conglomerates whose financial status were publicly known to be in the trillions of U.S. dollars were virtually inescapable, nonetheless. Even old money paid attention when the (comparative) nouveau riche had more assets than a lot of countries.

“Deniability is a priority requirement of this request,” the blonde countered. “My mistress does not wish her hand in this to be known.”

“You may count on our discretion,” Akiha assured her firmly. “I was simply unsure of how and why you found your way here—aspects of that same discretion do not make us easy to locate, largely by design.”

By now, even without her senses as a conceptually higher being, Ilya thought she had a pretty good handle on reading body language when it came to the Japanese; if so, then their new client read as “guilty at being caught, and mortified over the reasons for it”—but you’d never realise it from her expression . . .

After a moment, in which she’d apparently concluded that some form of answer was required, the blonde girl answered, “It is an unfortunate but inescapable fact of life that teenage girls are prone to gossiping and rumour-mongering. As such, one hears many unlikely, even unbelievable things as a matter of course . . .” After a moment of silence, she added in a near-whisper, “And when one is desperate enough, one will attempt even that.”

Akiha merely nodded, taking her cup up once more. After a sip, she commented casually, “That explains things quite neatly. It might come as no surprise to you, Hayasaka-san, to learn that such feelings are also part of that design; only through them could you have come here.”

“I see,” was the only response, followed by a matching sip of tea. After a moment, the cup was set down. “ . . . You truly believe that you can solve the problem within days?”

“Depending on the amount of research actually required, yes,” Akiha said confidently. “It’s quite possible that my statement of ‘hours’ is more accurate, in fact—but regardless of the amount of time spent, I assure you that it is well within our abilities to accomplish.”

Hayasaka nodded. “I will forward you all information at my disposal, in hopes of a swifter conclusion.”

“That would be appreciated,” Akiha said politely. “In the meantime, we shall work to be worthy of our price.”

For the first time, the blonde’s mask cracked, and Ilya could see the aforementioned desperation. “If it brings the desired result, ten times as much would be a pittance, measured against the value of what it purchased.”

Ilya resisted the urge to smirk as she felt Rin tense beside her. They were attempting to be professional, after all; and the Grail spirit reminded herself that being anything less would reflect poorly on Onii-chan. The amusement gleaned by watching the Tohsaka magus squirm, much less the outburst Ilya could likely provoke by being openly amused at it, wasn’t really worth muddying his reputation.

Though it was awfully tempting . . .

“That would be unnecessarily exorbitant against such minor efforts,” Akiha demurred. “We are neither so devoid of funds nor spirit, to prey upon those in need of our services to that degree—to do so would go against the very purpose for which this organisation was founded.” She shook her head. “No, the offered amount is more than enough, I quite assure you. We will endeavour to match your generosity with results to your satisfaction—and that of your employer, of course.”

With that, business was largely concluded, barring some “electronic transfers” that others were more experienced with than Ilya was. And with that done, it left getting down to the actual work. That, of course, meant research—and where that was concerned, the files the girl had left them were, to Ilya’s mind, only a secondary source of information . . .








Somewhere far away from the Grail Works headquarters
Fifteen minutes later








“And why have we gone from world-saving to matchmaking, exactly?”

“She made it through the Door,” Ilya said with a shrug. “That means we’re her last hope—you know that.”

“I think you need to tweak the filters, if it’s possible to get through for that,” he said with a sigh.

“The cheque for five million yen doesn’t hurt, either,” she added.

He grinned. “Rin caved immediately, didn’t she?”

Ignoring the muffled “HEY!” from somewhere far out of sight, Ilya nodded, giggling.

He closed his eyes, thinking. “All right—keeping in mind that I never actually looked at the series, and only know it through fan fiction . . . Basically, a boy with Issei’s overall demeanour, Shirou’s work ethic, and Shinji’s ego, then add a girl with Rin’s ‘school idol’ persona, give her Luvia Edelfelt’s money and social position, as well as the actual Rin’s tsundere tendencies—”

“I will get dogs for the SOLE purpose of FEEDING YOU TO THEM—!”

Ignoring the threat, even as he didn’t quite suppress a chuckle, he elaborated.

“OK, look—as I understand it, it’s a romantic comedy based on a series of mind games between a sheltered heiress who’s stupidly rich, and an impoverished genius student who earned his place at their elite academy through hard work. Both are admired as perfect, even among those elite, both are interested in the other—and both of them are too proud to make the first move, so they try and manipulate the other into doing so. She’s a master of intricate plans with access to a ridiculous amount of resources, but flounders in the face of the unexpected; which is usually most of their peers. On the other hand, he’s a master of improvisation and rolling with the punches, up against someone he knows he can’t take head-on—and works accordingly.

“From all I know,” he concluded, “it’s funny as hell to watch, and if you want to do this, I suppose I can’t object, as long as I am nowhere near it.”

“. . .”

At the lack of even an insincere immediate denial, he repeated more loudly, “I SAID—”

“You are the one who can accomplish it the fastest and easiest,” Ilya offered.

“You literally can’t pay me enough to have anything to do with it,” he fired back. “You want me to deal with high school, teenage drama, and classism—and in a foreign language and social structure, no less? No way in hell, Ilya; I swore that I’d sooner blow up a school than go back to it.”

“You won’t have to actually go to school,” she said reassuringly. “Just impersonate the boy well enough to get a credible love confession witnessed and recorded; it’s ten minutes’ work, if you do it right. Then it’s done, and the repercussions are his to deal with.”

“Arcueid or Rin could hypnotise the kid into doing it, too, which is a whole thirty seconds of work,” he countered.

“Well, leaving aside the fact that I’m not sure how good Rin actually is at that sort of thing—”

“I HATE YOU BOTH!”

“—I’m almost positive they’ll run him, and any evidence, through every possible test once he finds out about ‘his’ confession. It’s possible that mind control might leave tangible marks—glassy eyes on the video footage, for example—and we don’t want to leave any chance of his claiming duress . . .”

“No, you want to send a middle-aged white guy into an elitist school full of Japanese teenagers—this is not a recipe for success, Ilya . . . !”

“Says the middle-aged white guy who hangs around with Japanese teenagers at work, instead,” she countered. “Look, you’ve been complaining about the high stress of the last few missions—this is a lot more low-stakes, and not nearly as complicated. You can be done in less than an hour, if you do it right. And you’ll still be helping people.

“Plus, it is for a lot of money,” she added, “Which we could really use . . . And it might keep Rin from murdering you, after your last couple of jokes at her expense just now.”

“. . . You make decent points, but I’d still rather go through another goddamned Grail War.”

“What if we gave you half the fee?” the albino offered. “It’d pay for a pretty good actual vacation . . .”

“Tempting,” he admitted, “but—”

Ilya’s image changed abruptly, displaying a photograph of a Japanese girl. She looked like the living image of the classical beauty, hesitant and delicate (even though he knew very well that the girl in question was no such thing).

“She’s dealing with enough heartache that someone who cares about her got through to us,” Ilya’s voice came through in an oddly gentle tone that was reminiscent of her mother.

“Can you really just let her suffer . . .?”








Shuchi’in Academy
Twenty-four hours later








“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘I CAN’T LEAVE . . .?!’”




Today's Battle Result: (Technically) Kaguya’s Frid's total victory (of sanity)

[Xamusel]

...what happened this time?

[Kieran]

...what happened this time?

Well, if I really intended to do this - probably that someone was careless with stashing the real Shirogane somewhere safe, and in the grand tradition of Japanese protagonists with no particular backstory (since Frid is "borrowing" his at the moment), he wound up isekai'ed somewhere - which would then require the Works to find and return him.

Meanwhile, of course, Frid is stuck acting like a top-scoring elite student and general idol - and the now-probable boyfriend of Shinomiya Kaguya, with all that that entails . . .

Yeah, this one would probably fall apart fast - and hard - but it might be funny . . .? I mean, he actually can't leave, because the guy's little sister depends on him for household income, groceries, and all that sort of thing; at the same time, he also can't (probably) pull off a convincing enough imitation for this to actually hold up for any length of time. But maybe it'd be amusing to watch him try . . .?

[Xamusel]

Okay... what's the crossover?

[Kieran]

Okay... what's the crossover?

This.





With one of the more amusing openings I've seen of late:

[Vigilantia]

"The mission requirements are dumb and a waste of any half decent agent. I say we send Kurai" - Nate

"Hey!" - Kurai

[Kieran]

To some extent, exactly - this is not a literal (or even figurative) earth-shattering problem, except to the teenagers involved. It's something that several of the Works could solve easily, with methods ranging from magical mind-control, Shirou giving the right shonen protagonist speech, or even the maids resorting to their specialties (drugs and brainwashing), if you wanted to be completely ridiculous. It's not even in another dimension, for a change . . .!

From a narrative perspective, however, there are a few things I think might be worth playing around with. First, this is a "scut work" job, which is a first for my character in working for what's essentially a wish fulfillment agency. No grand adventures, reasons to show off with mighty powers and abilities - just dry, boring work. How does he motivate himself to do something he really doesn't want to . . .? (A question I often struggle with, really.)

Second, keeping up the masquerade itself: if there's an actual polar opposite to someone like him, Miyuki Shirogane is almost certainly it. And he regularly deals with a number of highly-intelligent and/or perceptive people (teenagers, it's true, but nonetheless); few of them have managed to stay in the positions they are by being complete idiots - the airheaded one speaks five languages, for example. And arguably the most intelligent of them (and definitely the most dangerous) will be paying him very close attention . . .

Third, once begun, he can't just walk away from the role - even if you just ignore the fact that suddenly disappearing will throw the kid's life into shambles, he has a dependent. His little sister needs the guy to be working and paying the bills, or she's out on the streets. So he's literally stuck until they actually manage to get the guy back, unless he's a complete jackass - in which case, he's going to be getting the mind control treatment, for memory erasure regarding the Works, and booted through a Door to somewhere suitable.

On the Works' side of things, specifically, this might drive home to Shirou the lunacy of "saving everyone"; it's one thing to be intellectually aware of its impossibility, but when confronted with a real example of how inanely such a broadly-worded statement can be interpreted . . .? And, of course, there's the actual tracking down of Miyuki Shirogane in whatever isekai world he managed to get sucked into, and getting him out - and likely needing to solve that world's issues in the process . . .

. . . Plus, of course, the fact that I think this actually could be really funny. And it doesn't need to be Kaguya-sama, specifically - this general setup can easily apply to any rom-com anime, as the subtitle suggests - this was just the one that came immediately to mind, because it's a complete out-of-context problem for the Works.

(It might even be funnier if it was a harem anime, really - because do you choose the "main girl" that the narrative keeps pushing, or your own preference . . .?)

[Kieran]

So, as we (presumably) move into the endgame for Fate/Anarchy, a question has occurred to me that (probably) relies on more knowledge of the Grail System's mechanics and metaphysics than I have - though the case can always be made for finding a workaround, if it appeals enough . . .

*Shakes head* Sorry, I'm getting off-topic. In any case, the question is this: with the (presumed) acquisition of the Apocrypha universe's Greater Grail, is it possible that Justease (or Justitia, or however you want to refer to her) von Einzbern can or will take Ilya's place as the Grail spirit - and possibly leave our favourite albino imouto free to be restored to life?

. . . It would allow her more agency within the setting - and let her fans use her without needing to bring in the Prisma Illya version, or somesuch workaround - but I'm unsure if it's actually feasible, or something that anyone else would want. After all, it isn't like Justease is all that much of a character, in comparison to Ilya; aside from being (potentially) able to allow Ilya to live again, I'm not sure she's necessarily an improvement . . .