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Thread: Black Knight in Halkeginia [One-shot]

  1. #1
    後継者 Successor zhead's Avatar
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    Black Knight in Halkeginia [One-shot]

    Well, Here's one of my ideas. I brought this over from FF.net
    Tell me what you guys think, I'll try to add more If I get the time and get some good ideas.

    BBBBBBB



    Louise Francoise la Blanc de la Valliere was worried. Why wouldn't she be? Today was the most important day of her academic; no, her entire life. Her last chance at proving that she is not a failure, not a 'Zero'. The young pinkette anxiously waited as her classmates summoned their familiars, each of them unique. There were the average ones, like dogs, cats and birds, then there the unique ones, like a bugbear, salamander, and even a dragon! Louise was beginning to regret making that wager with Kirche now.


    “Louise Valliere, it is your turn now.” Professor Colbert spoke up. The old mage was curious to see what would happen. Knowing Miss Valliere's reputation, he still wondered what she would summon; if she was succesful. It would help discern her element, at least.


    Walking forward, the young girl breathed deeply. “I beg of you...” Her classmates seemed intrigued. She was using a different chant than what was the norm. “My servant who lives somewhere in this universe!”


    BBBBBB


    In another world, still in the same universe per se, a being stirred. It heard the call, and was quite annoyed. It was the SAME girl again! That crazy tsundere who was always in need of some familiar or whatever. It sent a young boy as a joke, then decided to send that man who keeps cursing It as an experiment. After that, It sent practically every possible spirit or being in existence. Heck, on one occasion, It even sent the girl's future self as a familiar!


    Oh sacred, beautiful and strong familiar spirit!”


    It understood It had no choice, else It would have to listen to Alaya and Gaia's unending complaints. Especially after that fiasco when It sent nothing. Even It felt a little remorse. As such, It went and searched for yet another being to give another life to.


    I desire and plead from my heart!”


    It found him, and prepared him, giving him a few useful tips of the world he was to explore. As It had a reputation to keep, It let the familiar keep his memories of his previous summoning. Let the girl have a few more 'sweet' dreams. She might grow up a bit. Worked with that Emiya boy. The Root smiled.


    Answer to my guidance!”


    And the black knight was sent to protect a new Master.


    BBBBBBBB


    An explosion rocked the area. Louise was accustomed to her spells causing these, sad as that is. Of course, this one was much larger than her usual ones, and she could tell there was something in in the middle of the smoke. Although, for some reason, the smoke did not fade. The students were all watching, some had already begun to make disparaging comments. Louise did not pay attention to them, as she was watching the strange sight in front of her. The smoke was gone, but in its place was a dark fog, obscuring whatever was in the field. However, she caught a glimpse of red, and then the fog began to lift.


    Someone gasped, and Professor Colbert tried to understand what we was looking at. The fog had thinned enough to allow him to see the general shape of the being standing in front of them. Black armor, with spiky protrusions on its shoulders and elbows, and clawed gloves. It's feet were sharp, and it's knees were covered with a spiked guard similar to its elbows. It's helmet had a small line for a visor, and a red glow emitted from it. It's plume was a long wisp of purple fire. Moreover, it's presence was enormous. It was a warrior, one from old legends past. No, warrior was incorrect. This was a knight. A monstrously powerful one at that.


    Louise could only think of one thing as the being came into view. This being was powerful. It was stronger than everything in the field around them. And she summoned it. She was successful, she summoned a familiar! A powerful familiar!


    The knight looked around, as if studying the environment around him. He was confused; he was given information as a Servant would when summoned to a Holy Grail War, but this was no war. Instead, he was in some world that resembled the time of his own life, only slightly improved in some ways, and it was rife with magic. Not to mention the rather foolish belief that magic meant nobility in this particular country. Speaking of whom, he studied the children around him. They were, unsurprisingly, unnerved by his presence. The old man was an exception though, he could tell. He was a soldier, and was clearly prepared to protect these children. Though he ignored them all in favor of the one staring at him. His Master, clearly. He could sense it, this little girl had a great pool of prana, and had control, or rather potential control, over a powerful element. Merlin would probably have been ecstatic to teach this one.


    The knight walked to her, and kneeled, surprising everyone. Louise gaped at the knight, and then heard a voice echo in her mind. “Upon your summoning, I have come forth. I ask of you, are you my Master?”




    BBBBB




    He was annoyed. That was the best way to put it. He was told about how they thought magic meant nobility, but this was plain stupid. It seems everyone here is as foolish as his Master was till the previous evening. It was easy to convince her, she already had her doubts about how human he was, though the Servant-Master dynamic was completely unknown to her. As if anyone would listen to her like some mindless dog. He waited for the boy and girl in front of him to stop arguing. Well, technically, only the girl; the boy was trying to reason with her. At least he understood. The knight sighed; all this over a stupid perfume.


    This whole fiasco started earlier today, when he saw the blonde girl arguing with the boy and the maid he met the previous night while exploring. The maid, Siesta, seemed to be a rather kind girl, and he didn't like how she was being treated by the other girl, who was accusing her of theft, despite the boy's attempts at diffusing the situation. So, he went to help her. Needless to say, things didn't go as expected. The fact that for some reason he cannot speak out helped. Damn the Root, as he's heard from other spirits.


    “Are you ready, familiar?” He looked at the haughty girl, and then to the boy. The knight nodded. He remembered his Master asking him not to kill the fools. That, and it would hurt his honor to kill some upstart children. They pulled out their wands, or flower in the boy's case, and announced their titles. The knight couldn't care less, and just waited for an attack. The girl made a chant, and launched a spear of water at him. He calmly sidestepped it, then hopped to the side as it twisted back. Nonchalantly dodging the water spear, he thrust out his arm to smash the metal golem the boy made while the girl tried to keep him busy. The water dropped down, no longer trying to strike him. Clearly, no one has ever seen someone like him in a fight.


    The boy flicked his rose again, causing three petals to fall to the floor, creating three more golems, these ones with weapons. The knight smiled to himself, and then ran at the golems, ignoring the water trying to strike him again. Breaking one golem with a punch through the chest, he grabbed it's weapon, a simple sword, and proceeded to destroy the other two, grabbing another weapon for his free hand, this time a lance. Holding the lance behind himself, he pointed the sword at the two, as if daring them to continue.


    The boy flicked his rose again, and six more golems rose. The knight readied his lance, then jumped in the air. Aiming his lance, he threw it at one of the golems, the impact causing dust to rise up in the air. Landing near another, he slashed it down the middle, and grabbed the sword it was wielding. With both swords in hand, he rushed at the other golems, parrying their strikes and cutting them apart with his blades.


    The pair looked worried now, he mused to himself. He rushed at them, and had his swords at their throats before they could even react. Upon realizing their situation, the two quickly yelled, “Yield!” He paused, weapons still in place. They pleaded a few more times.


    “Servant, that is enough.” He heard his Master call. He turned to her, nodded, and then threw the weapons onto the ground, causing them to shatter. Louise motioned him to follow, leaving everyone in shock as to what they all just saw. A single knight easily defeated two mages, and with speed and strength that no commoner should have.“I trust that was a good enough demonstration, Master?”


    Louise smiled. Her famili- no, Servant, was truly what he said he was. And this was clearly just a small fraction of what he could really do. “You were right. Could you tell me more now? Like maybe your name?” The knight stopped, and raised his hand to his chin, thinking.


    I no longer carry my name; it no longer matters. However, you may call me Saber, if you wish.”




    BBBBBBB




    Saber kicked open the door of one Montmorency, eliciting a shock from the occupants, the girl herself and her boyfriend, Guiche Gramont. Normally, Saber would have knocked on the door, but right now, he briefly considered being Berserker instead. As is, he was currently unable to do much besides growl.
    “Ya know... Partner has never really been in a mood like this since that time with Wardes...” Derflinger spoke up for him. Saber was holding a rather happy looking Louise by her collar, practically pushing her into Montmorency's face. “He would really appreciate it if you kinda undoped the girl here. He's not exactly happy.” Saber growled again, his eyes glowing red. Montmorency wisely nodded.


    After a few hours, the four of them, five including sword, reached Ragdorian Lake. According to Montmorency, they had to obtain a 'Tear of the Water Spirit', or rather a small a portion of the spirits' body. As they approached the lake, a giant blob of water rose out of the lake, and the surrounding atmosphere became much more humid. Montmorency took a step forward. “I am Montmorency Margarita La Fere de Montmorency, a user of water, and a member of the lineage of the old oath. If you understand me, please answer us in a way that we understand.”


    The blob shifted, changing its shape, before resembling a giant naked version of Montmorency. It looked at the ones who had called it, briefly studying Saber himself, before replying to Montmorency's call. “I recognize you, insignificant one, by the water in your veins. In accordance with the pact, I have come. Speak.”


    “We seek a piece of your body, great spirit.”


    “Refused.” Saber put his palm on his face. He had too much dignity to groan.


    Montmorency shrugged, and turned around, only to see Saber walk right past her, and towards the spirit. He stopped at the base of the lake, and put a hand into the water. The spirit shook, and shifted briefly. It looked directly at Saber and approached him. “I recognize you, Child of the Lake. You grace me with your presence. Why have you come?” To say everyone was shocked would be an understatement.


    “What does it mean??? Child of the Lake??? What is he???” Saber ignored the girl's rambling, and communicated with the Lake Spirit the same as he did with Louise.


    I have arrived for the same reason as the foolish child there. I require a Tear, great spirit. I am prepared to do you a favor in return. T'is only fair.” The spirit shifted once more.


    “Very well. Some of their kind have been attacking me in the night. Stop these attacks and I will bequeath a piece of myself to you.” Saber nodded, and walked back to the others.


    After a few hours of waiting, and ignoring the complaints of a certain blonde, Saber spotted two cloaked figures approaching the lake. Unsheathing Derflinger, he approached them carefully, not wanting to alert them. Though the shorter one noticed him anyway, and began to launch ice spells at him, while their companion started launching fire spells. Guiche came out with his golems, and backed him up as he ran at the ice user. Before he could attack, however, a familiar voice spoke up. “Guiche?” He stopped, as the mages lowered their hoods, revealing themselves to be Kriche and Tabitha. At which point he stepped to the side as Kirche tried to jump him, as usual. Only this time, his Master tried to do the same thing, and he reluctantly let her grab onto him, if only to make sure she doesn't hurt herself.


    After explaining the situation, they returned to the spirit. “Lake Spirit, we have done as you had requested, but there is a problem. These people have been attacking you as you are raising the water level of your lake, and it is causing grief to them. If you stop, these attacks will end.” The water spirit shook again.


    “I understand Child; however, I do so as I am searching for a treasure that I had once granted on another. It has yet to be returned to me, and that will not stand. If you promise to find it for me, I will stop.” As it spoke, it released a piece of its body, allowing Montmorency to collect it. “It is called the Ring of Andvari.” A smaller sphere of water raised up, and changed its' shape. Saber nodded.


    Very well. I will return this ring to you. I thank you for the Tear.” Saber stood up, and began to walk back. But as he left, the spirit spoke once more.


    “I have one more favor to ask of you, Child.” Everyone froze. “I wish to see your blade, Child.” Saber sagged his shoulders. He turned back, keeping his head down, as if shamed.


    I... I'm afraid it is no longer what it was, great spirit. Circumstances in my life had caused it to be... corrupted. It is like me, a shadow of it's former self.”


    “Nevertheless, I wish to see my Her work, Child. Even a fallen creation retains some of its majesty.” Saber straightened up, and stood still. The fog enshrouding his body dissipated, his armor visible clearly for the first time. He held out his hand, and spoke in a low, yet commanding voice.


    Arondight. Come.”


    BBBBBB




    “Well partner, I suppose you have a plan?” Derflinger spoke solemnly. Saber nodded.


    Fifty thousand soldiers of Albion, twenty thousand traitors of our own combined army, along with at least a thousand or so orcs and dragons. Yes, I have a plan to deal with them. Just not how I originally thought I would.” He replied. Ever since he first released his blade, the knight began to speak out, instead of just in the minds of his Master and blade. “I suppose I should be glad that being Gandalfr lets me break a few conventions of how Servants are.” Saber chuckled, though it sounded more malicious than anything else.


    “Eh, what do you mean by that?” Saber formed Arondight once more, and set it into the ground.


    Normally, when I summon this blade, I am unable to use my other Noble Phantasms. Normally. These runes are similar to my own Noble Phantasm, Knight of Honor, allowing me to use any weapon expertly, though they do not function as Noble Phantasms. And, they boost my abilities as well. Arondight too boosts my abilities by a rank each, so essentially, I am receiving an immense increase in power with this blade and these runes. Plus, Louise's prana supply is large enough to sustain me in my current state, so...”


    “Well. Damn. This is gonna be fun!” The blade exclaimed jovially.


    There's more. When I said I break convention, I meant I am still able to use my other Noble Phantasms, and it seems I have access to an ability I had during my previous summoning... Though it was too risky to use for any other situation, this is the most perfect time for it. Remember what I told you about my previous title?” As Saber spoke, a dark fog began to rise around him.


    “So, you're gonna do that, eh? Though I don't really get why you want to. I mean, you could have done more damage with that spitfire here to help ya too. Why do you need to go mad?” Saber chuckled dryly.


    I don't want her to give her life for some spineless bastards interested in only themselves. She is still young, and I will not let her waste her future on a battlefield. And I swore my oath as a Servant to the duke and duchess, did I not?”


    “Heh, gotten soft, haven't ya?” Saber froze, then let out a hearty laugh.


    I suppose I have. Indeed... As for why I want to go with this plan, I need to do more than just defeat this army here. Henrietta will have other enemies, not just Albion. I plan to send a message, to make them very wary of plans to attack ever again. A single knight is not as intimidating as having control of a mad demon...”


    “So you're gonna scare 'em all in line eh? I like your plan, even if it's not very knightly.” Saber snorted. Something he didn't do much before, he noticed. His Master affected him too.


    Well, I'm a black knight now. We have less codes to follow. Now then... Grgh...” Saber bent over, bracing himself, while grunting and groaning in pain. The fog around him flared, red energy coursed through his armor, and six tail like protrusions burst from the back of his armor. Saber, or rather Berserker, rose up once more, completely enveloped by the dark fog, and he gripped both Derflinger and Arondight. Standing up straight, the black knight leaned his head back, and roared. “GRRRRUUAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!” Holding out both blades, he charged at the approaching army, prepared to cement his future reputation as the Black Knight of Tristain.

  2. #2
    Art imitates life Guy's Avatar
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    I said it on ff.net and I'll say it again, that's a really good fic

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    祖 Ancestor crystalwatcher's Avatar
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    12/10, epic. If you ever expand on it I wanna read.
    End of an Empire

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    "I think you just failed... quite spectacularly if I say so my self. Idiot." -I forget who said it originally.


    Badass Side-Step



  4. #4
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors fraggle's Avatar
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    Interesting. I do find the fact that the story is based more on the hill of swords then the original light novel quite amusing, but a good read non the less


    Illya is best servant

  5. #5
    ok I'm new here but I do think the fic is much based on Hill of Swords... Still it is very good though 8/10 is my rating...

  6. #6
    祖 Ancestor Flere821's Avatar
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    Again, I'll echo the opinion this is Interesting

    I'm not too surprised that HoS was the inspiration than the light novels, TBH. The LN canon doesn't get better until the end of Vol14, which sadly BakaTsuki doesn't have =/

  7. #7
    Your a god dammed tease man. Writing this awesome snippet but never going anywhere with it, its wasteful.

  8. #8
    Can't catch a break Zer0light's Avatar
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    lolz it's here! hi remember me? loved the oneshot

    In another world, still in the same universe per se, a being stirred. It heard the call, and was quite annoyed. It was the SAME girl again! That crazy tsundere who was always in need of some familiar or whatever. It sent a young boy as a joke, then decided to send that man who keeps cursing It as an experiment. After that, It sent practically every possible spirit or being in existence. Heck, on one occasion, It even sent the girl's future self as a familiar
    this line always made me laugh. and it gave me great ideas, especially the last part about Louise receiving her future HoS self as a servant

    im also surprised that i've never seen any saber/ZnT fics

    "Red like roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest."

  9. #9
    Attention Span Gone Aiden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zer0light View Post
    lolz it's here! hi remember me? loved the oneshot



    this line always made me laugh. and it gave me great ideas, especially the last part about Louise receiving her future HoS self as a servant

    im also surprised that i've never seen any saber/ZnT fics
    I've seen a oneshot for Saber/ZnT from the guy writing Alexandriad over on FF.net, but that was about it.
    Spoiler:
    Spoiler:


    Quote Originally Posted by Lycodrake View Post
    Aiden's mind is a scary place, but this part is nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    I dunno, I quite like Aiden's mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok
    .....Damn yo-

    NO. NO I WILL NOT SAY IT.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hmyn of Ragnarok
    Damn you


    My Work:
    Heroes of Justice

    Semi-Random Pieces and Drabbles

    Diaries of a Youthful Maiden

    ??? - new project, coming soon (by Valve time)

  10. #10
    Can't catch a break Zer0light's Avatar
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    oooohhh ORT familiar! lolz

    if this fic gets made, does berserker get his F 15?

    "Red like roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest."

  11. #11
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Delcer's Avatar
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    I'll withhold most of my judgement since this is the first chapter; I feel the need to say something because the prior comments seem to ridiculously overrate this. It looks like you were torn between making this a full-fledged fic or a series of snippets because of your tendency to skip from event to event without giving enough detail to each; your final result left you with the best of neither. The combat itself seems to be extremely generic and the characters aren't fleshed out at all.

    Someone earlier rated this 12/10. I'm sorry, I'd give you 3/10 for effort. Your idea going to be quite the challenge to write about, I don't think you can properly convey it in so little quantity.

    Edit: oh right, I didn't notice the oneshot tag on the title, sorry about that.

  12. #12
    The World Is My Stage dragon20990's Avatar
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    I like the concept, but it needs some originality from HoS. You need to simply work on your characterization of lancelot and not GB's characterization of Shirou.

  13. #13
    Ahahahahahahaha! Hymn of Ragnarok's Avatar
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    Eh. It's alright. Would be better posted on the Louise's familiar thread here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok
    I refuse to believe that any eroge scene with Taiga would not make allusions to her Christmas Cake status, and this being Nasu, include references to making a cake. Stirring the batter, whisking the eggs, swirl the mixture around....
    Quote Originally Posted by RadiantBeam
    ....

    IS THIS REVENGE, HYMN? REVENGE FOR ALL THE ABUSE I PUT YOU THROUGH?
    That's all, folks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Guy, Vlad_the_II (3 times), Radiantbeam (5 times), YeOfLittleFaith, Ars Poetica, The Curious Fan, Raven2785, zhead
    Damn you Hymn.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spinach, KAIZA (2 times), Old_Iron, YeOfLittleFaith (2 times), Trevelyan, ianmuff, ZidanReign, Sage of Eyes, legoguydude, KooriRenchuu, Break, Keyne
    Bless you Hymn.

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