Ah, yeah, sorry, I guess I missed that bit.Originally Posted by RanmaBushiko
So, from what I can tell, Zouken is treating Sakura as his "heir", but still tortures her with the worms as "punishment" if she disobeys him etc. Is that right? If so, he's still being pretty nasty to her, albeit nothing like as nasty as in canon.
Exactly. He's nasty, but sane enough to realize what's right and wrong, still... albit barely. And he sees her as the person to fulfill his dream of seeing the completed holy grail if he himself cannot. Right now, he thinks he's won. The war is his and his Grand daughter's.
However, I'm still trying to decide what to do for Ghaleon. So I'm gonna ask all my readers. Would you all rather see an Arturia, Gilgamesh, Lancer, and Assassin vs Ghaleon fight? Or an epic beatdown of Lancer and Assassin going against Ghaleon and Shiki, only to get beaten down hard?
As it is, in the Lunar games, Ghaleon's almost as nasty a gamebreaker Servant as Arcueid is herself. He's already ancient beyond belief in the first game, not to mention the final goddamned boss, and *spoilers* he gets ressurected in the second game, and is even more powerful then in the first... though a lot stupider to use sword fighting rather than using all the damned overpowered magic he has like in the first one. That's why Shiki's pointing out every single weakpoint he has in Interlude C, aka Interlude Caster. Even if he's slightly weakened as being a fictional hero, he's still strong enough to possibly match Arcueid.
Let me clarify my earlier post. Right now, there's three real ways that the story can end, for the final battle. But to decide on one of the three endings, I have to have an idea of what the readers want for the first real fight? Thus, do you all want to see a 4 on 1 fight, with Lancer, Assassin, Gilgamesh and Arturia going against Ghaleon? Or would you rather see just Lancer and Assassin going in, misjudging everything, and getting beaten down hard?
Ghaleon, Arcueid, Arturia, and Gilgamesh, right now, are about all the same level as game-breakers. Any one of them could most likely win this fight. Gilgamesh could flatten the city with an overpowered Enuma Elish, Arcueid could probably use her Reality Marble to drop the moon on everyone, ala Crimson Moon Brunestud... and Ghaleon's got his own tricks. But to decide on the final showdown at the end, I still need to figure out who's going to get offed first, thus me asking this.
Last edited by RanmaBushiko; March 20th, 2011 at 07:52 PM. Reason: Explained my question better.
Does he still use the worms to control her (the ones implanted in her, I mean)? After all, they act to weaken her considerably as a magus (since they drain her of prana), but on the other hand with them there she simply can't betray him.
He has the worms in her, but so far, he hasn't needed to use them YET. They're THERE, but dormant, and he hasn't ever had to wake up anything but the Crest Worm so far. Instead, he modified these for a new purpose. Instead of making her needing sex, they've been acting like a weak mana channel to Arturia, so she stays topped up on Mana. You have to remember, according to Heaven's Feel, the worms originally were a type of familiar that ONLY sent to the master the status of the worm's host. But, because of this, Sakura's his second guarantee that Gilgamesh won't do anything rash. If he's not nice, and acts like a father figure... as well as Arturia acting like a mother figure, to her and Shinji... and instead tries to kill the three of them. She'll lose more of the ability to fight.
Secondly, Zouken's planning as if the War's already won in his favor. He's got the big known trump card, and due to what Sakura learned, he KNOWS that Arcueid's at 100% power. That's why he's gone from being a true bastard, to supporting his grand daughter. His granddaughter's all but won the grail war, and so he can see it completed, like he wants.
Originally, Zouken planned on having True Assassin help out Sakura, but then Arcueid Brunestud's all but fallen into his lap as an ally. Do you really think he WOULDN'T take advantage of the situation to have Shirou, and thus, Arcueid, see the Matou family in the kindest light possible? He may be losing his sanity from rotting away, but Gilgamesh's medicine is keeping the rotting at bay. So, this is a Zouken with most of his mind at least half sane again. Why would he torture the person that's won the war for him? No, he's going to reward her for doing this by letting her be with the man she's loved in the first place. He's going to absolutely fucking ensure that Shirou Emiya is allied to his grand daughter, and thus, to him.
Yes, Sakura's been hurt by the worms going into her. Yes, she's weaker. But this isn't Zouken suffering unbearable agony every moment. This is Zouken with at least some of the keenness that made him help make the Holy Grail with Zelretch and the Einzberns in the first place. And that's what I'm trying to show him as. He's cunning, and still cunning enough to ensure that instead of being broken, Sakura's become a perfect weapon for him... and eventually a weapon for a man he chooses for her... not that she knows it. And right now, he's looking at Emiya Shirou to have his granddaughter as a reward for the grail. This isn't Matou Zouken who's summoned Assassin on a whim. This is a Matou Zouken who's been planning for the Holy Grail war since the last one ended, to have Sakura as the next Matou to take the entire war by force. And even if it's come early, he's still going to milk it for all the advantages he can.
Yeah, that does make sense.
So, basically, he's still a selfish, amoral bastard, but he at least thinks of Sakura as his heir (rather than just as a "tool") and has some level of affection for her, and thus is nice to her unless he has reason not to be?
Indeed. He's still that way, but he's considering himself to have won here. And, honestly, there's really only two possible endings to the story from here on out, though there's three ways it could happen. But Zouken's already thinking he has this in the bag. And can you blame him? He's going to treat the granddaughter who's brought him victory damned well, and he's going to ensure damned well that even though he's not allied to her to her KNOWLEDGE, that he can't help in the shadows. Of course, Ghaleon's a whole different story. Once he goes through those games, or finds someone that HAS, and realizes exactly what sort of a power house Shiki's summoned, and exactly WHY Shiki went through all that to ensure Ghaleon's understanding of the screwups he pulled, he's going to do his best to annihilate Shiki. Still, he has the option of convincing Kirei, right now, to do a sneak attack, or to strike with all their power NOW, and try to ensure Ghaleon's fucked over. Zouken knows that it'll take 2 days for Ghaleon to summon his Noble Phantasm. He's got a good 2 days to decide on what to do, and if they want to annihilate him, via every servant they've got, Alter, Gilgamesh, Lancer, and Assassin..., or just figure out if Ghaleon's a decent threat, by using Assassin and Lancer only.
Plus, you can't forget Shiki Tohno. He's capable of killing Arcueid all on his own, with surprise on his side. Or did you think I only tossed in Shiki as a tribute to Tsukihime? Who knows what he'll do if he loses his servant that may well save his sister... Shiki's only here because he's goddamned desperate to help his sister, who's currently from the Good ending of her route. And he'll do anything and everything in his power to help his sister.
Yeah, of course. But, when Shirou finds out about the Grail corruption....
[nitpick]It's Normal Ending, not Good Ending. Akiha has no Good Ending.[/nitpick]
Thanks for pointing that out about the Normal Ending. And yes, Shirou WILL find out about the grail corruption. Zouken knows of the grail corruption too. It's just that the destruction as a side effect doesn't matter to him at all... On a different note, I've got both possible endings all planned out already. It's just the midway point for the first and then epic last battle that I'm unsure of. So currently, I'm trying to decide on whether Ghaleon'll get beaten down, but survive, in a 4 on 1 match, or if he'll beat down Lancer and Assassin with ease. Still wondering if any readers have an idea on this.
And now, for a surprise... Chapter 6! More characterization... and exactly what Shiki's doing for this. Also, if characterizations are wrong, please tell me. I'm trying to get a fix on Rider's true character, but as it is, I have her acting like she does while talking with Shirou towards the middle of Heaven's Feel, where I'm at right now. When I'm done, I'll be able to get a better idea of how to write her, but as it is...
Second off, still trying to decide on Ghaleon, since I've got noone reviewing on what I should have for the fight against him.
Also, please read and review.
Chapter 6.
-Shirou's Perspective-
I'm dreaming. But... I'm not. Is this my mind? I can see swords as far as the eye can see... it's desolate, but beautiful, with a sky showing that looks like the very beginnings of Sunrise. It feels... like home to me. Is this...what Arcueid was talking about? And as I think of her... my dream shifts. I see a young girl... Arcueid? With long hair, talking with people, though I can't hear what they're saying. And they're showing her how to fight. With her claws, with swords, and weapons of all kinds. Even a bow. Her skill is impressive with all of them... but she seems to be best with... chains that she can summon. Huh. Is that her weapon of choice...? And as I try to study her style further... I hear her calling to me.
She's pretty loud too. And it's getting louder... wait, what was that about water?!
And I'm awake. She dumped water on...me... Hell. I was hugging her when I was asleep. And she's pissed.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me, I didn't know I was hugging you...!"
"Is that what you were doing? You looked like you were having a dream, or something..."
"...Yeah. I was still asleep. I didn't know I was hugging you at all. Sorry... please don't kill me for doing that?"
She's... blushing?
"Actually... it was kind of nice. But you started squeezing hard, so I woke you up to make sure you're ok."
I'm blushing too now. It's kind of hard not to blush after hearing that. She liked my hug.
"Really? You thought it was nice...?"
She's blushing harder. And carrying me off to breakfast... I can't even move out of her grip, but this is kind of nice.
I don't have school because of these injuries. So as long as I look injured, I'll be able to stay home... and Sakura can take care of me. And... I wonder if I'll be allowed to read these books? Oh, there's Sakura in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. Wonder what it is today...
"Senpai... Grandfather said that I should teach you the family magics in the books here, since you're giving me your wish."
... I can't say a thing. Did I hear that right?
"And... Grandfather thinks we're a good couple, too..."
What?! WHAT?!
"Ah... and... he thought I'd make a good matchup for you, since we're both Mages... so, Um... He's decided that I make a perfect match for you since you're... ah... helping us so much. And pretty much gave his blessing that I could marry you if we wanted..."
I can't take this anymore, and faint again.
*Thump*
"Senpai!"
-Arcueid's Perspective-
That, was hilarious. I've never seen a guy go so red before. And then he fainted?! I'll remember this for a long time to come. Still, he was so comfortable earlier... it was fun.
Plus, it makes me blush to be around him. I'll remember that. Now... I'd better put Shirou down, and hunt down Rider while Sakura cooks.
Now, to find Rider. I want to talk to her about her Mystic Eyes, after all.
"Ah, Sakura? Where's Rider? I need to talk to her..."
"Oh, she's by Senpai's shed. She's been reading a book on the roof there... and enjoying the peace and quiet... speaking of which, you may wish to see if she wants food, too..."
Hm. Well, if she skips the food, she might not need it, Still, though...
"Ah... Sakura? Does she know how to use chopsticks? If not, you may want to make something she can eat without them. I know it took me a while to study how they worked."
She's surprised, and embarassed. I don't think she's asked at all. But I'd better leave and talk to Rider. Better now than never, after all... And there she is. Just like Sakura said.
"Rider?"
"Do you have business with me, Saber?"
"Sakura's wanting to know if you know how to use chopsticks, for breakfast... and... I was wondering if you know how to turn your eyes off, or not."
"I do not know how to use chopsticks. And... I've never been able to deactivate my Mystic Eyes."
"Never, huh? Well, after breakfast, I can teach you, since we're allies. Or would you rather learn how to do it now?"
I sit and watch her carefully. She's contemplating her actions from here on out, before nodding.
"...I would appreciate that, Saber."
"Please, call me Arcueid."
"You don't mind that I know your name?"
"Considering there should be enough power in the grail, to grant our wishes with ease, if what I remember of Grandpa Zel saying about it... we don't need to eventually fight in the end. So no, I don't. mind at all."
She's surprised. It's hard to see her emotions, but I can tell there's definite surprise on her face.
"And so that's why you're so calm. I see now. We don't have to worry as long as we can pull this off, hm?"
"Exactly. So let's go eat and then train, hm? And our Masters can train at the same time. I don't think Shirou's Magic Circuits will open up without her help, after all..."
We're approaching the house again. It seems like Rider has been lonely for a long time, if she's so uncomfortable talking. Still, she seems curious about something. And as we go into the dining room together, she finally asks it.
"So how many Magic Circuits does your master have, then, Arcueid?"
"Oh, that? 27. It seems like he's only used to using one, though. If I wasn't good enough at getting power from his circuits, they'd be shut still."
"Senpai has... 27? And he's been only using 1?!"
Oh my, Sakura just fainted from shock. Hm... cold water, or having Rider wake her up. The possibilities. Or... hm... I know! I'll put her into his arms, so they're close, and leave a blanket on them while I teach Rider!
"Let's go while they're like this, ok Rider? We can more than easily get back if something ever happens."
She's amused, as well.
-Fade Out-
-Shiki Tohno's Perspective-
"Is that Servant gone, Ghaleon?"
He only nods. Now that that Servant has left, we can continue working on Akiha with his spells. He may not be much of a healer, but powered by a ley line, he can do damned near anything. All we need is enough time, to heal her... and if a Servant, or more than one comes, we can summon Ghaleon's Noble Phantasm early. The Grindery... a moble fortress capable of destroying the bulk of the city nearby. Still, better to concentrate on Akiha than to summon it, since we have the time. And Akiha's hair has been fading to her old black again... I'm glad of that. I love her, and I want to be happy with her.
And so I killed those monks. To help Ghaleon. To help my sister. She matters to me more than I matter to myself... but maybe after this is over, he can help me as well. Maybe he can give me a new life... I know I've damned the world by summoning him. He's an anti-hero. Even if he helps people, it's for his own purposes... even if he opposes people, it's for his own purposes, too. But...
I can't help but trust him. He's enough like me that I can understand him. He fought for his ideals to the bitter end, in both of those games... just like I am right now.
"How long until she's cured, Ghaleon...?"
"It will only take 5 more days, if we're uninterrupted, Shiki. 7 if we need the Grindery. I have to channel the entire ley line to do this, after all. Same with the Grindery... unless you want to ruin all the work I've done to save her by summoning it early.
I must say, though. I'm impressed with his work. He's the most masterful mage I've ever heard of. And Akiha's starting to act like her normal self. So... hopefully... I'll win. No, I can't have any other choice BUT to win.
No other choice at all.
Of course it doesn't. But it does matter to Shirou and it will matter to Sakura, especially since Shirou won't be able to give her her "wish" after all....
Anyway, nice chapter, and I like Shirou's reaction to Sakura's proposal.
Hey, Ranma. This is a great story, but if your ending ends up without a happy ending for Shiki and Akiha I'lltear your balls offget very angry at you.
Well, Shiki seems like the villain here, so....
I wouldn't be suprised to see it go about as well as Kieran's Legacies of Fate story went for Sakura (who was, somehow, turned into a villain there too).
I'll remember that about Shiki. Currently, I'm still trying to decide on how it'll end... but I'm guessing you're going for the 2 on 1 beatdown from Ghaleon then, so Shiki's got a better chance for a happy ending?
And yes, I thought it was perfect for Shirou's reaction to Sakura just "happening" to mention that her Grandfather thinks she'd be a good wife for him, since he's giving them a wish off the grail, and all. It's not every day that the girl you've been having over for over a year, and you've started to think as being sexy, happens to mention that her grandfather thinks you're the perfect match for her. So his reaction, went perfect. I also hope I'm not pushing Arcueid at Shirou too early, either...
No, Shiki's not a villain, YET. But he's allied himself to a villain that used to be a Hero, due to desperation. If he thinks things are hopeless, he'll do whatever it takes to try and win, even trying to take on Arcueid on by himself. And everyone knows what happened to Arcueid in the Visual Novel, ect. when he got to her by surprise...
What.
Anyway, yeah, I'm voting for the 2 on 1 if it gives Shiki the chance for a happy ending. Akiha NormalEnd broke my heart. AkihaTrue did that as well.
Thanks. Gonna write it up as soon as my muse is helpful again.
I'll point out that the power of the video game character does not necessarily correlate to his power in-game; it'd be determined by the Wraith summoned in his place, combined with whatever boosts from fame and age he might get.
Shiki would have probably been better off trying to summon a pop culture icon like Darth Vader or Char Aznable instead.
*shamelessly plugging his own fic because of above statement*
Look, gaze into my signature, click on the linnnnkkkk~~~~
And I'm still liking this story.
My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
I actually like Fate/Inertia dawn, too. *chuckles softly* It's rather well written, though I think Unit 01 might be a bit similar in scale for overkill. Bit like the Grindery, or Enuma Elish would be, honestly. Still, you like my story, and aren't just saying that?
Thank god. My first time writing a story like this isn't so bad after all...
And yeah, Nick. He's not getting quite so much FAME, HOWEVER, he's so new, people are more thinking about him than in older history. Darth Vader would've been BETTER if Shiki didn't have someone he needs to heal. However, a Legendary Hero, of his own Right, from a video game, that turned into the big badass villain and nearly became a God? Even if he's not getting quite so much power, he still nearly became Divinity of his own rights, and that's still going to affect him, buffering him in it's own way.
Also, the Grindery runs off pure Magic. Ley Line + Grindery = Big Booms out of the cannons no matter how weaker Ghaleon's fame is. Ghaleon's sitting on one of the biggest damned Ley Lines of the City, remember? Hm... though... that makes for an interesting plot twist... huh. Just thought of something now, while thinking that over. Could affect the story as a whole.
Also, Just finished Heaven's Feel True Ending. Gonna use a ton of extra thoughts and ideas when I wake in the morning. It's given me a lot more ideas for where to go with Zouken and Sakura.
Still, I've hit damned close to the mark so far for what I'm aiming for.
Hopefully I can get this finished before April. Gonna aim for that, I hope. Then again, with how slow chapters are progressing... meh... it'll be done when it's done, I guess. Now, off to read Tsukihime's manga again to ensure I've got Arcueid in character still.
On a different note, I've finally got my grand finale ironed out completely. So even if you hate me for the final chapter, wait for the epilogue, when I write it, ok? It'll be a damned good one! Of course, if you've missed the little stuff I added here and there, you won't realize what the ending plot twist will be in the epilogue, though. Mwahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* HAHAHA *Cough, cough* HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA*wheeze, pant, cough cough wheeze* Stupid megalomania laughter...
Now just to figure out what the hell's going to happen between Day 2 and whatever day in the series I end it on... Crap. Forgot about that little detail. Ah, well! More writing for me!
Last edited by RanmaBushiko; March 21st, 2011 at 04:37 AM. Reason: Grand Finale's ironed out, may as well post about it, right?
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