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Thread: Fate/Alternate (based off Fate/Prototype, AU)

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    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Fate/Alternate (based off Fate/Prototype, AU)

    Fate/Alternate

    Prologue

    It was raining.

    The rain fell from the steel gray clouds overhead, mercilessly cold and so heavy that they drowned out sound. Whatever flames had lingered from the initial fire was quickly quenched in the downpour, completely smothering any attempt to light the darkened area. The only gleam came from the silver armor the blonde woman wore as she knelt on her knees, tenderly cradling the small girl to her chest.

    She was breathing.

    She was breathing, and yet…

    Too soft, the blonde realized, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. The child’s breathing was too soft, too weak, she was fading right in front of her…

    She was going to die.

    She was going to die, and it was all her fault.

    Her grip on the child tightened, hugging the tiny body closer to herself, as if her own body heat could somehow breathe life back into the girl. Her eyes narrowed against the rain, and she bowed her head, closing her eyes.

    “…. No.”

    No.

    The child wouldn’t die here.

    Yes, it was her fault. She had seen the darkness, the madness in her Master; she had had her doubts, right from the beginning, the moment Kiritsugu had handed her Seals over to that child, the oldest of the Sajyou family, yet another outsider attempting to aid the Einzberns in their quest for the Grail.

    But she hadn’t questioned it. She had accepted it, and hoped that winning the Grail would grant her wish.

    And instead…

    The memory made bile rise, and she swallowed, shaking her head.

    No. No, that wasn’t important now. The important thing was the tiny life in her arms, the small child dying in the rain.

    She only had several minutes left before her mana burned out and she disappeared. Even still, she felt the warmth within her; the soothing presence of her scabbard, returned to her during the last moments before the final battle.

    Saber smiled bitterly.

    I wish you were still here so I could thank you, Irisviel.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

    Warm. She felt so warm…

    Was she dying? Was this what death was like? Maybe it wouldn’t be so scary. If death was this warm, this sweet, this gentle, there couldn’t be anything bad about it.

    The warmth increased, almost to the point of burning, and she whimpered, squirming in protest. Okay, this didn’t feel so gentle anymore. This was starting to hurt, really hurt…

    A soft voice whispered to her, raggedly. “I know. I know, it hurts. Please, just bear it. I can’t think of any other way to save you.”

    … Is she crying?

    Dazed, dark eyes slowly forced open; the child blinked, trying to focus, and gazed up into the teary, pale face of her savior, blonde hair spilling all around them, green eyes filled with regret and relief.

    “Good,” she murmured, and pressed her forehead against the child’s. “Good, you aren’t rejecting it.” She exhaled shakily. “I’m glad. I could save you, at least.”

    She knew that face; she knew this voice. The mists cleared from her mind, her eyes sharpened, then widened as the woman’s form wavered and faded. Her lips moved, spoke the name, but she was too weak to make a sound.

    Gently, the woman set her down on the grass, brushing loose strands of hair out of her eyes. “You’ll be all right,” she said. “Just wait until you feel strong enough to move, then find help. I’m sure someone saw the fire, so they must be coming…”

    She opened her mouth again, tried to speak; the best she could manage was a soft, ragged sound of pleading, a tiny hand stretching out to the woman’s fading form.

    Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me, I don’t want to be alone, please…

    Briefly, an armored hand gently grasped at hers, cool against her fingers; but the touch was gone too soon, and the woman smiled sadly, getting to her feet. She was already beginning to disappear, from the bottom up, in a shower of golden sparks; a small beacon of light in the darkness of the rain.

    She could speak, finally; her vocal cords obeyed her will, as strength began to flood back through her limbs. “Sab—“

    “Goodbye, Ayaka.” The smile was still sad, so small, and oddly broken. “I’m sorry.”

    And with those words, the Servant Saber finally disappeared completely, leaving Sajyou Ayaka alone in the rainy ruins of Fuyuki City, the girl still reaching desperately after her even though she had already vanished.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

    … That was eight years ago.

    On that day, I became an orphan. My father… was already dead. The War claimed the life of my older sister, Manaka, though for some reason to this day, I can’t remember exactly how she died. I just remember waking up alone, in the middle of a field.

    I had no idea where I was, or how I got there. Even after all these years, I still can’t remember how I ended up in the remains of the burned city.

    Apparently, I was the only survivor.

    My name is Sajyou Ayaka. I am the last surviving member of my family, and like my sister before me, I will one day have to fight in the Grail War.

    The only problem is…

    I really, really don’t want to.

    At all.

    But somehow, I really don’t think I’m going to have a choice in the matter, if that damn twisted priest has his way with it.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Short prologue is short. Ah, well.

    Inspired by this image and I warn you now, the updates for this one will be incredibly slow. I only have a basic grasp at best of where I'm going with this, so it's not going to be updating especially fast unless I get through the pre-War stuff without much of a problem and get the plot a little more steady.
    Last edited by RadiantBeam; February 19th, 2012 at 01:32 AM.



  2. #2
    JESUS WANTS A HUG! The Sylentnight's Avatar
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    Wow. That was fast. But I am really curious to see this. I will subscribe to thread.

    And that moment with Saber saving Ayaka made me go DAWWWW!
    Quote Originally Posted by Riven View Post
    You can't see the future. You can just pray that the decisions you make are the right ones. That's what it means to be a commander.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodyle
    It's natural for Rin to surround herself with beautiful women, and natural for Shirou to be everyone's bitch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Neil Watts
    God, why is it so hard to be a smart ass these days?

  3. #3
    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Sylentnight View Post
    Wow. That was fast. But I am really curious to see this. I will subscribe to thread.

    And that moment with Saber saving Ayaka made me go DAWWWW!
    Mostly because the prologue was so short. And I have some ideas for the pre-War stuff, but really right now, that's about it.



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    Tobias came at me Nacho the Doritosedge's Avatar
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    I sure hope the priest she's talking about is Kotomine.

    That being said, i'll be monitoring this like... a person who monitors things
    Quote Originally Posted by Nacho the Doritosedge View Post
    I also actually like taiga too

  5. #5
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    Relevant to my tastes.

    Proceed, madam.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



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    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    More than likely I'll enjoy this, and with Rider or Proto-Rider *possibly* showing up, I have something to look forward to that you might not have written before...
    Unless I missed you writing with Rider involved, besides "Shinjirella". =P
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  7. #7
    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycodrake View Post
    More than likely I'll enjoy this, and with Rider or Proto-Rider *possibly* showing up, I have something to look forward to that you might not have written before...
    Unless I missed you writing with Rider involved, besides "Shinjirella". =P
    There probably won't be proto-Rider. I know I want to keep most of the FSN cast involved, I just want to see what happens if you throw in a different protagonist with a different backstory and different abilities.



  8. #8
    Arrrrrrrrrrrriba! Moczo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    *snip*.
    This is interesting... I don't think I've ever seen a fic starring... I know her name is Ayaka, but that's too much like Ayako, so let's call her Girl!Shirou. Shirette.

    Oh, whatever. XD

    In any event, it will be interesting to see where it goes. A good start.

    Poor Girl!Shirou is screwed. ^^

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    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    There probably won't be proto-Rider. I know I want to keep most of the FSN cast involved, I just want to see what happens if you throw in a different protagonist with a different backstory and different abilities.
    Ah...okay. Kind of wanted to see how you'd write him, since I find him more likeable than I thought I would, and think you might've enjoyed doing so. But I know what's said about assumptions. ;w;

    @Moczo: Please don't. Just...please. Ayaka and Shirou are only alike in that they are post protagonists. Please don't use that choice of wording. Pet peeve of mine. It degrades both of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  10. #10
    Tobias came at me Nacho the Doritosedge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    There probably won't be proto-Rider. I know I want to keep most of the FSN cast involved, I just want to see what happens if you throw in a different protagonist with a different backstory and different abilities.
    different abilities? by giving her avalon, aren't you making her shirou 2.0 in terms of magic? (Changes element and origin, herpaderpa)
    Quote Originally Posted by Nacho the Doritosedge View Post
    I also actually like taiga too

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    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NamesAreHardToComeUpWith View Post
    different abilities? by giving her avalon, aren't you making her shirou 2.0 in terms of magic? (Changes element and origin, herpaderpa)
    ...have you watched the CP episode that involved Fate/Prototype? What we see of her involves the use of more gandr-like black feathers than *anything* that Shirou uses. Please don't...
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  12. #12
    The only Saber Clone that matters Ace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NamesAreHardToComeUpWith View Post
    different abilities? by giving her avalon, aren't you making her shirou 2.0 in terms of magic? (Changes element and origin, herpaderpa)
    Ayaka uses formalcraft IIRC.

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    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
    Poor Girl!Shirou is screwed. ^^
    You're going to be like this the whole fic, huh. XD

    Quote Originally Posted by NamesAreHardToComeUpWith View Post
    different abilities? by giving her avalon, aren't you making her shirou 2.0 in terms of magic? (Changes element and origin, herpaderpa)
    According to the Wiki, Ayaka was also given Avalon for the proto-Saber and yet she can use a dark kind of magic that is apparently unusual to the magi. So I don't think carrying Avalon in this story will alter her abilities to any significant extent.



  14. #14
    Arrrrrrrrrrrriba! Moczo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    You're going to be like this the whole fic, huh. XD
    ... well, yeah. XD

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    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
    ... well, yeah. XD
    At least you're honest about it. XD



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    Arrrrrrrrrrrriba! Moczo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    At least you're honest about it. XD
    You know you love it. XD

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    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    I has a sad. Ayaka is getting called "Girl!Shirou", degrading both her and Shirou. Why can't they be seen as themselves? They're not the same, all they share is that theyr'e both protagonists, thick-headed, have a Loli Yandere sister, and summon Saber. Past that, they're vastly different... ;w;
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  18. #18
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six gwonbush's Avatar
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    If Ayaka is too similar to Ayako, call her Sajyou.

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    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
    You know you love it. XD
    Indeed I do. XD At least you seem to be having fun. XD



  20. #20
    Arrrrrrrrrrrriba! Moczo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiantbeam View Post
    Indeed I do. XD At least you seem to be having fun. XD
    I suspected you would have asked me to stop if you didn't enjoy it. XD
    And of course, everyone has fun with Girl!Shirou. She's an endless bundle of fun... and a girl. XD

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