I just realized something. Servants are usually summoned in their battle attire.
What're the chances that Saber will try to summon up her armor in the middle of battle, only to have the lingerie appear instead?
I just realized something. Servants are usually summoned in their battle attire.
What're the chances that Saber will try to summon up her armor in the middle of battle, only to have the lingerie appear instead?
... Are we going with rule of crack here? Then yes. It would probably happen. Then her armor appears after Gil's nose starts bleeding.Originally Posted by Mereo Flere
... Does anyone remember this thread: http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread...-input-welcome ?
So, according to D&D's alignment check, I'm a True Neutral. Huh.
This is crack at its best. OwO
Please continue!
Artist's block. Bigger bitch than karma, I swear.
<3 <3 <3
They are going to wreck this War so hard it's not even funny. And we are going to love it. And die of laughts.
Rin is going to have a field day with Kotomine and her daddy, though. Specially if they met with Kariya.
Spoiler:
*bows before Deviates*
I am here at your command my liege, ask of me anything and I shall do it, so long as the wonderful tale you have written continues.
Shame is of no concern, neither are ethics.
You are now my master.
Servant Profile: Idea Generator
Reality Marble: Countless Creations, Intense Inferno, Vast Vista
Score: 7 (Where's mah Grail!)
Random Servant Profile: Fraggle's Cult
(I knew I had this lying around somewhere!)
Truth
'Twas wonderful.
Please sir, may I have some more?
This has potential and is very amusing.
Oh dear. This thread contains so much crack and humour I'm considering bailing out just so I won't have a heart attack >.>
Proceed.
'Fae is Foul' - My SAO/ZnT Crossover fanfic (SB Thread) (FFN Link)
“Kiritsugu, Kiritsugu!” Little Ilyasviel bounded to him adorably, hopping from one foot to another. She called to him again, before jumping into his arms. Kiritsugu smiled softly down at his daughter and picked her up, spinning her around in the air as she giggled.
“What is it, Ilya?” He asked gently, his eyes full of love.
Ilyasviel pondered cutely, with a finger on her lower lips, saying, “Grandpa said you’re summoning something.”
“That’s right,” Kiritsugu replied. The corners of his eyes wrinkled ever so slightly, one of the very few signs of his age.
“Hey, hey, Kiritsugu,” Ilyasviel tugged on his sleeve excitedly before saying, “Can you summon me an ‘Onii-san’?”
“Well…”
And so, there they stood. Thankfully, the Einzbern had plenty of well-tailored clothing for the three… whatever they were to wear, though Kiritsugu was convinced by this point that the boy must be a young version of King Arthur, accompanied by his women. After all, the kings of ages past usually had a retinue of women, and King Arthur must have been no different. He could feel through his Command Seals that they were all bound to him, so they must all be important in Arthurian Legends. Kiritsugu resolved to figure out their identities when someone bounded into the room and interrupted his thoughts.
It was a good thing that they dressed so quickly, really. The moment Kiritsugu’s Servants finished dressing, his daughter Ilyasviel jumped into the room and into Kiritsugu’s arms like she has done countless times before. Kiritsugu felt that King Arthur and his small harem looked rather stylish in his suits.
“Kiritsugu!” Ilyasviel giggled happily into his chest as he spun her around. She peeked over his shoulder and saw his Servants then she spoke excitedly up at him, “Yay! You bought an ‘Oniisan’, Kiritsugu-Papa!”
Kiritsugu laughed slowly, “Yes, yes I did.” He was very thankful that Arthur and his two girls didn’t interrupt.
Ilyasviel suddenly stopped giggling and pouted up at him with large, watery eyes. Her lips trembled when she asked, “But where did my ‘Oniisan’ come from?”
“Uh, from…” Kiritsugu started to say before Irisviel interrupted him.
“Storks!” Irisviel smiled brightly.
“Well…” Kiritsugu paused and froze. He didn’t could look away from Ilyasviel’s eyes, but at the same time he felt a sense of dread as the conversation began moving towards a subject that he would not be ready to approach with Ilyasviel for decades to come.
“But…” Ilyasviel pouted cutely and asked, “When did the Storks bring him?”
“That is…” Kiritsugu tried to turn the conversation around while he still could, but he was unable to catch up to neither his wife’s nor his daughter’s enthusiasm.
Irisviel chimed in cheerfully, “Well, dear, while you weren’t paying attention, a huge,” at this point, Irisviel brought her hands as far apart as possible, to illustrate how large this ‘stork’ was, “stork came by and dropped your ‘Oniisan’ off.”
Ilyasviel nodded quickly, but slowed down right away. She frowned and looked down, asking, “But then… where did the stork come from?”
“Well…” Kiritsugu tried to talk again, but was again interrupted by Irisviel. Or rather, he couldn’t even give his input before Irisviel already said what she had to say.
“In the clouds,” Irisviel clapped her hands together, as if imagining the scene in her mind at the same time, “there’s a big castle where the storks live!”
Kiritsugu wanted to sigh. ‘Hold on Iri—there’s no way that Ilya would belie… oh, she believed it.’ Everyone else seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“Did ‘Oniisan’ also come from the Castle?” Ilyasviel asked curiously.
Kiritsugu opened his mouth, but before he even uttered a syllable, his wife had the answer already.
“In the Castle, there is a huge,” again, Irisviel spread her arms wide open to emphasize on the word huge, “Throne. That’s where ‘Oniisan’ came from.”
“Oh…” Ilyasviel nodded slowly. “Why doesn’t ‘Oniisan’ look like Mama and Papa?”
“That’s…”
Irisviel smiled gently down at her daughter and answered before her husband could, “Well, you know Grandpa Acht, right?”
“Yeah?” Ilyasviel asked slowly.
“Mama is related to him!” Irisviel puffed her chest proudly.
Ilyasviel frowned in confusion, almost as if a bunch of question marks had appeared beside her in the air, before asking carefully, “…But Mama isn’t old and wrinkly and ugly?”
“That’s right!” Irisviel nodded her head slowly.
Ilyasviel’s eyes seemed to sparkle, “Wow! And this ‘Oniisan’ is so big too!”
“And that’s why your ‘Oniisan’ doesn’t look like me or Papa!” Irisviel adopted a cute lecturing pose and instructed eagerly.
Kiritsugu almost sighed and planted his face into his palms, but he stopped short of there. Instead, he muttered so softly that no one could hear him, “Iri, I love you dearly, but please teach Ilya properly.” He also noted that, at when Ilyasviel talked about King Arthur, his shoulders raised a little and he seemed to stand a little straighter, even though Kiritsugu’s daughter wasn’t looking at him. Peculiar…
“And that’s not all,” Irisviel smirked proudly at her daughter, “this ‘Oniisan’ is the best ‘Oniisan’. He is also a king!”
Kiritsugu didn’t think his daughter would believe it, but just as he thought this, his daughter nodded, as if in understanding. Kiritsugu frowned internally, but thought perhaps this was for the best since his wife knew best anyway.
“Wow!” Ilyasviel’s eyes seemed to shine even brighter, “How did you do that, Mama?”
“Hey, w-wait just a minute,” The delusional blond girl interrupted Kiritsugu’s wife and said, “…I am King Arthur.”
Immediately, Ilyasviel swerved towards the blond girl and pointed at her in defiance, “No, you’re not!”
The blond girl frowned softly, almost regally, “Why do you say that, Ilyasviel von Einzbern?” Kiritsugu found this strange, because he had not yet introduced his daughter to them, but perhaps the Grail had provided this knowledge too? He needed to do more research!
“King Arthur is two meters tall!” Ilyasviel said confidently.
“…What,” the girl seemed to freeze.
“Plus,” Ilyasviel went on to say, with her forefinger pointed into the air as if she was lecturing an uneducated person, “In my story book, Gawain looks just like you!”
The girl’s expression turned to stone. She froze, but her lips parted ever so slowly, “And… what storybook is this?” She growled out through gritted teeth.
“This one!” Ilyasviel pulled out a familiar comic book that Kiritsugu had seen once or twice before…
“…That’s…!” He also froze, unsure of what to do.
Thankfully, his wife did know what to do. She leapt quickly and grabbed the thin book out of Ilyasviel’s hands. Irisviel scolded her daughter gently, “Bad Ilya! No going through Mama’s ‘doujinshi’ collection!”
“Aw, but Mama…!” Ilyasviel pouted.
“…” Kiritsugu thought that perhaps this was also another conversation he would do best to stay out of. Irisviel seemed to be taking care of it well enough without his input anyway.
The brunette girl from King Arthur’s retinue turned to the Servant Saber that Kiritsugu had summoned and said in a deadpanned tone, “So this is your family, huh?”
...
oh god
OH GOD-
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!
King Arthur is two meters tall, and gawain looks like Saber... My god, was that doujin some IskanderXSaber stuff, just with names switched around?
Also, as usual, Ilya=HHHHNNNNNNNNNGGG.
Good chapter, keep it going. or else i'll cry.
Look at how fast I updated, give me more comments, or else! >:3c
Oh gods, why can I taste and small fluff from this? WHY?
This is good. I think I might enjoy this... sensation.
More please Master Fish!
*gently strokes Fishie's ego*
Naisu?
A-ah... ah-ahh... *pant* *pant*...
...h-harder! Harder!
<.<;;;;
Neh, Iri? You're not hiding your collection very well...ask your husband for help please.
Edit:
<___________<;;;;;;;
Master? Are you alright?
Servant Profile: Idea Generator
Reality Marble: Countless Creations, Intense Inferno, Vast Vista
Score: 7 (Where's mah Grail!)
Random Servant Profile: Fraggle's Cult
(I knew I had this lying around somewhere!)
Truth
*Firmly strokes Fishie's engorged ego*
....
*grabs a seat with soda and a popcorn*
...Go on.
...Don't judge me your watching too.
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