Aiden's Random Drabble Thread

[Aiden]

You read proof that Irisviel is the best mother.

[Aiden]

New Toy

=========================

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!"

She loved this woman. She really did.

But Irisviel von Einzbern could be so very... very...

Gah, what was the word?

Stubborn. That was probably the best way to put it.

It all started when little Shirou came back from his friend's house, and saw the source of her current trial:

Photographs.

So many photographs of people doing everyday things, or the one time he'd puppy eyed Maiya into entering one of those little booths with him.

Sure, she'd smiled at the time to think of the mercenary woman's inevitable slip in composure at such a cute event, but now she was regretting it.

Just a little.

Because Irisviel had taken it a step further.

"Oh, I should get a camera! We can do all sorts of fun stuff with that, right?"

It seemed like a good idea at the time; it would be nice to have a few of the two of them together around the house.

...

If only it were that simple.

They had quite a bit of money, by most standards. Thus, Iri could afford to throw some at the most expensive camera she could think of, one of those new little things with the view screen.

It was...

Well, it was an interesting experience.

----------------------------------------

This was perfect.

"There, stop!"

Saber, in that tuxedo. Mmm.

And at noon with the river behind her, near the center of the bridge?

Extra perfect!

This would be the first of her many, many test photos.

Truly, she would be a master photographer of their time-

"Smile!"

Oops.

Too early.

-------------------------

Guh.

Flash in eyes!

Ow, ow.

"I-Irisviel, I wasn't ready! At all!"

She was still seeing spots from that ...

--------------------------

"Um, hm. Let's try again, shall we?"

Lean forward, aaaaand there!

Wait.

Frown.

"Aww. Saber, you closed your eyes! Now I have to do it again."

Press the buttons like the salesman showed her, press the little trash bin.

One more time!

Flash.

...

What was she doing wrong?

---------------------------------

Okay, enough of this.

"Irisviel, if you'd just wait for me to say when I'm ready, please?"

She was still dignified after all this, though.

She was not pleading, or holding her hands together in front of her and gah stop-

---------------------------------

Oh God, yes.

Flash turned off, absolutely adorable Saber pic get!

"Finally! My masterpiece!"

She couldn't help but giggle and twirl. "Come on, take a look!"

---------------------------------

...

Irisviel, you...

Guh.

She took a picture of that?

Why?!

"I-I must object! Please, delete this one at once!"

She attempted to reach out to the camera, and-

Her lady turned, her smile turning mischievous, and hid it close to her chest.

------------------------------

Oh, Saber...

"You'll have to take it from me, oh noble knight~."

------------------------------

She never did get that camera away from the woman.

And Irisviel took so many more photos. One of her running to catch her, admittedly not near her greatest pace.

Another, in the convertible car, her lady playing keep away and leaning back against the front seats, and herself climbing on top of her to get it.

Eventually she gave up, and then there was yet another picture taken of her exasperation when she admitted this.

Iris had such a cheeky grin on her face there.

That wicked, wicked sorceress!

...

No, bad Saber, they were in public!

"Oh? Ah, if I'm being bad, are you going to have to punish me, good sir knight~?"

You aren't helping!

Those giggles weren't helping either.

In fact, just being around her at all wasn't helping that and okay they needed to go home now.

------------------------------------------

Oh, Saber.

That was so much fun. So was the drive home, the way she kept looking over to the side and fidgeting in the passenger's seat.

But now they were back at the Emiya estate, so everything would come to a head soon enough.

Oh, Maiya was home? She knew those shoes well enough ...

"Onii-chan~!"

Ilya too, and probably Shirou from the sound of things.

And she definitely knew her husband was home, so...

Hm.

Hmmm.

A stroke of genius!"

"Saber, I have just one more picture to take!"

----------------------------------------

Oh God.

Mercy, woman!

What diabolical ploy did she have to handle now, if she was being made to gather up everyone else while Iri put the camera up on the mantle and did... something, to it?

"No, no, Ilyasviel, just- stay still for a moment, please."

Shirou wasn't giving them any trouble, at least, though he absolutely insisted on standing right in front of Maiya for this one.

And then Ilya insisted on being next to her 'onii-chan' and uugh the mess.

Why was she going along with it?

She was to the left of Maiya, behind Ilyasviel, and there was a space between her and her former summoner- she could never really think of him as her Master- to leave room for-

----------------------------

There, timer set!

"Ready!"

She had to hurry, squeeze in there between her husband, get her arm around his neck properly, grab onto Saber's side and-!

Oh. Her eyes were closed.

But hey, at least she was smiling!

-----------------------------

.... oh.

When she got to look at the picture afterwards, it...

It really was lovely.

Everyone was smiling.

Even Kiritsugu and Maiya.

So it couldn't be wrong.

===========================================

For the 'Happy Iri Harem' continuity, permission granted by Radiantbeam.

[Lycodrake]

Nice. Poor Saber, though. XDDD

[RadiantBeam]

Saber suffering is delicious. Especially when she's suffering for fun for Iri's sake.

And that photograph is d'aaw. You just know Maiya, Kiritsugu, and Saber would have it on them at all times.

[Aiden]

^_^

[Lycodrake]

^_^

Now just wait if/when Illya picks up the same...hobby. XD

[Aiden]

The Beast

============================

He fed.

It was a simple matter, and one that was, besides, not actually necessary.

But he enjoyed it all the same, the scent of his natural prey after he tore it open. The taste of the meat as he bit right in.

Blood on his tongue, covering his nose, sticking to his paws.

"O-Oh God... please, please..."

The prey's companion made noise again.

How irritating.

He deliberately silenced it, a mere exertion of will all it took to snuff out that existence.

Gaia rejected it, and so it died.

There used to be a den, here, where the prey spawned and raised its young, collected its food.

Kind of it, to bring itself all into one location.

He particularly enjoyed the lungs, if it was still breathing when he started eating; it made the prey be quiet. Forever.

That was almost as nice as the taste of the blood.

"Ah, what's this? You've made quite the mess, mister!"

Oh.

How did he not hear her coming?

Ears back, sitting back to look down at her...

*whine*

"Don't give me that look! You know what happens when you follow the stragglers home and eat them, too."

Mistress was so very, very scary sometimes.

No matter how much smaller she was, in comparison to him.

"And you didn't even leave anything for me! Ugh. What a disgrace."

...

*bark!*

"... oh? Where?"

He began the lead the way for his small mistress, who took a moment to hop up onto his back and fold her little legs.

Back into the ruined den, and...

"Oh, you left me the old cripple? ... well, okay, I guess that makes up for it. A little."

Oh. Oh yes.

This was the good part.

Little hands, rubbing behind his ears.

Ahh...

"Yes, yes, you're a good puppy. But don't do this again, you hear?"

*bark bark!*

====================================

(shrugs)

[Lycodrake]

Altrouge and Primate Murder, I'm guessing?

[Santo]

I know I should be at least a little repelled, but this is so godsdamned awesome xD

Nice doggy got a treat and a rub behind the ears (^-^)

[Nacho the Doritosedge]

Doggy!

I loved this. This was fun and normal and A-OK behavior for both doggy and Vampire master.

[Aiden]

Primate Murder is the most adorable engine of planetary genocidal impulse ever.

[Lycodrake]

Primate Murder is the most adorable engine of planetary genocidal impulse ever.

And Altrouge makes sure to let everyone know that.

...now I want more and more of lethum's continuity from his latest snippet... ;~;

[Temeraire]

I should be at least a little disturbed...but the fact that the very rarely heard of Altrouge was involved means I automatically loved it. Primate Murder is win too, I think I'll name any future pet dog of mine that if I get one in the future. Extra points if it's a beagle.Or labradoodle!

[Nacho the Doritosedge]

I should be at least a little disturbed...but the fact that the very rarely heard of Altrouge was involved means I automatically loved it. Primate Murder is win too, I think I'll name any future pet dog of mine that if I get one in the future. Extra points if it's a beagle.Or labradoodle!

You'll call your dog primate murder?

...

That actually sounds like an awesome idea.

[Temeraire]

*Is at the park*
"HERE PRIMATE MURDER, HERE BOY!" *whistles* "PRIMATE MURDER! PRIMATE MURDER!" *sees a mother pushing her baby in a stroller* "Oh, what an ado-" *she runs away*

[lethum]

*Is at the park*
"HERE PRIMATE MURDER, HERE BOY!" *whistles* "PRIMATE MURDER! PRIMATE MURDER!" *sees a mother pushing her baby in a stroller* "Oh, what an ado-" *she runs away*

You must meet a lot of Type-Lunatic moms.

[Aiden]

I should be at least a little disturbed...but the fact that the very rarely heard of Altrouge was involved means I automatically loved it. Primate Murder is win too, I think I'll name any future pet dog of mine that if I get one in the future. Extra points if it's a beagle.Or labradoodle!

Genocide doggy is best doggy.

[Lycodrake]

Genocide doggy is best doggy.

Misaya and Altrouge would get along. I think I've stated that before. XP

[Aiden]

New Games

---------------------------

It was boring.

So very, very boring.

And lonely.

No, the maids didn't count. Not really.

Besides those, and they weren't very creative at all, she hadn't really seen anyone for a while now. She'd lost track of the time, so she couldn't really give 'number of days' as a measure.

So she practiced her magic ... which was boring, because she already had most of the knowledge her predecessors did. At least, all the fun bits. Which weren't so fun when she was alone.

It wasn't even fun to show off with, because it was, once again, just the maids.

Stupid maids...

At least she could still feel mama, though a bit more strongly than normal. Hm.

That meant things were still okay!

She just had to wait, because her father told her he'd be back! He loved her, so he had no reason to lie to her about these things. Then they could go out in the snow and play again.

Maybe father would be home if she took a nap? He always seemed to like it when she took naps at the right time.

If he got home faster, that'd make her day fun.

It'd be great ...

*yawn*

... having someone to play with.

------------------------------------------

Its existence was not, truly, with its momma physically right now.

That was just a projection to feed with, and protect momma with.

Really, it was still in the womb.

That pulsing, cavernous womb, hidden deep from those hated and hating eyes-

bodies disposed in dark places deep places forgotten alone alone

Except its new family.

They would-

incest child abuse rape beating rage rage rage

- not treat it the way humans would.

Did?

...

It could not remember clearly.

It had some other form, once.

Almost like the things it had consumed.

blood scarring markings markings castration imprisonment lies lies lies lies lies

No, it could not remember.

*Die*

It was not human, and its only family had never been.

And that was fine.

As long as it got to feed-

Huh? That's new.

...

There was something else in here.

-------------------------------------

Wow.

It was so big!

And a little bright.

Bright enough to go all the way to black again.

Okay, that kinda hurt her eyes a little.

"Ahh, not so bright, stupid!"

She had to blink a couple times.

Was this like what mama said? Remembering stuff from the others?

There was... huh.

There wasn't anything here.

Or, no, there was, and she was swimming in it.

It was really warm.

But, why was the sun down, instead of up?

... and she'd never been taught to swim.

-----------------------------------------------------

The inverse sun burning with a corona of blood, with a darkness that possessed substance instead of absence, hues instead of uniformity. Was its own light.

Unborn.

unwanted unneeded

A blackenned, blasted landscape, where the sky was fluid and the ground above devoured heat.

Swim further, further down into the sky where the sun was.

Warmer, warmer.

----------------------------------------------

Okay, she was growing bored again.

There were faces and hands and stuff in here.

Words.

Words and such she didn't really understand.

Probably bad words, but she didn't really see why.

It was just stuff, right?

Stuff was stuff, so it wasn't bad stuff.

Except being bored.

And alone.

...

Then she realized, she was both.

tastes like mother why is it here how does it hurt taste feel

Huh?

It was... from below.

From the sun.

tastes like heaven's feel

Huh? How did it know what she was?

She'd never spoken to it before.

Father told her not to talk to strangers.

kidnapping trafficking soldier labor slavery

A-Ah... that... those weren't good games, were they?

Huh.

But they were something new!

And she was bored.

Besides, she was home right now, so nobody would try to hurt her anyway.

"Huh. My name is Ilyasviel von Einzbern! Did you want to play?"

She gave a little curtsey, even though she was swimming in mud.

Good girls were polite, after all!

name name name name name what's its name name...

Huh. Maybe he didn't know how to talk right yet?

But he was so big down there! He should really know that stuff.

How did she know it was a he?

...

"No, silly, tell me your name now!"

abas-ana-fa-gaaaaaaaaaa!

There was a scream, and she had to cover her ears, for a moment. Not that it helped.

The mud was in her ears.

"Ow! Stop that..."

Oh. So it just didn't know how to use an inside voice!

Okay, it stopped now.

Avenger

That was a funny name.

"Well, okay then, nii-chan! Show me how to play some of these games."

--------------------------------------------------------

This one was like momma.

So she didn't cause it pain.

It would teach her to play sea monster, while momma fed it.

They shared names, so they weren't strangers, right?

======================================

You know, you'd think being connected to the Grail like that would be kinda weird for a little girl.

[Lycodrake]

Oh dear...Illya with Avenger as her Onii-chan...it's nearly worse as her having Herk around.