Elf Musings of a Drabblish Type

[Elf]

Kotomine/Archer works far better than one would initially think.

Archer is like, a delicious font of suffering for Kirei.

I know! But no one else has thought of it. *Wipes teary eyes*

It's like Archer could be the foil for Kotomine that Kiritsugu didn't get to be, not to mention all that delicious suffering.

"Archer, your tears are delicious."

". . . Quit licking my face, Kirei."

[Aiden]

...

hnnnnngh

[Elf]

Okay, this is like post "Utopia" and isn't set in stone yet, but the idea had been nagging at me for a while.


Saber was not surprised to see Rider and Rin in the Living Room, after all both Archer and herself were close friends with the striking couple, however there was an aura in the room she couldn’t put to words. It was stifling, making her a tad uneasy despite the slight smile on Rider’s face, but closer look at Rin had her toying with a lock of her hair and shifting every so often on her chair. Saber couldn’t read the young woman as well as her lover could, but she knew enough when Rin was nervous.

So the petite blond headed to the kitchen to see her lover making tea in his usual meticulous method. Grey eyes locked onto hers as Archer smiled and Saber felt her heart flutter just the slightest even now. She returned his smile as she walked over to him while he was carefully putting tea leaves into the pot. Her arms found their way around his waist as she rested her head in the hollow between his shoulders, savoring his warmth.

“You okay?” Archer asked as he rested his hands on top of hers.

Saber nodded and said, “But Rin looks amiss.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too. Something’s up,” he replied with a nod.

She tilted her head back to look up at him while letting him go. “I hope nothing happened at the Association.”

“Rider would be showing agitation too if that was the case, so let’s just see what’s going on with them,” Archer said with a smile as the tea kettle started to whistle.

Saber moved to grab the tea tray, doing a quick count of the cups and saucers resting on it. Then the sugar and cream containers were deftly check to make sure they were sufficiently stocked for their guests. Fragrant steam began to fill the room and Saber inhaled the all too familiar scent with a smile. “I don’t have any snacks to serve with it,” Archer’s voice grumbled and Saber turned to see him scowling.

She chuckled and said, “If we would have had more warning we could have made some pastries. I can run to the store and get some.”

“I’m not serving Rin anything store bought. I’d never hear the end of it,” Archer said with a sigh and a shake of his head. His broad shoulders slumped as he rested the tea pot on the tray. Saber smiled as she took it in her hands and lifted it from the table.

She replied, “Even though she has grown lax in her own cooking skills.”

“Well, Rider doesn’t need to eat food. She’s on more of a liquid diet,” Archer said with a crooked grin.

Saber scowled at that and said, “Yes, you need not remind me.”

“You were willing,” Archer said as that lopsided smile grew wider.

Heat filled her cheeks and she replied, “I had no choice! Besides, Rider was desperately low on prana and even Sakura was having trouble keeping her stabilized. It was the right thing to do, even though it was unpleasant.”

“I seem to remember that you weren’t acting like it was unpleasant,” Archer said as he followed her out of the kitchen.

Saber narrowed her eyes at him and said, “I would have expected you to be angry at what had perspired.”

“I was a little bit, but I’m a guy after all too,” Archer said with a chuckle.

More heat filled her cheeks, but she was still able to grin back at him and said, “I do not need reminders of that, you more than prove yourself on a nightly basis.”

Pink flooded his cheeks as he looked down and said, “Well . . . I . . . Let’s go talk to Rider and Rin.”

Saber chuckled to herself as they entered the living room. Soon tea was passed around and the usual niceties were observed. Archer asked Rin about Luvia and London, and he answered questions about Fuyuki. Some small talk was passed before Rin took a deep breath, set down her tea cup and looked Saber’s lover straight in the eye.

“So, you’re going to get to the real reason you’re here then?” Archer said with a tiny grin.

At one point the former Master and Servant’s playful banter had made Saber jealous. She knew that teasing was Archer’s easiest way to show affection and knew that Sakura had wanted the two to pair up. However the former King quickly grew to realize that their teasing and affectionate displays were not ones of lovers, but more like how Kay use to tease her as a child. Not to mention, Rin had a very keen understanding of her former Servant that had proven useful to Saber many times in the past.

Rin nodded and said, “Yes actually.”

“Is something wrong?” Saber asked as she noted the tension in Rin’s shoulders. She watched as Rider began stroking the young magus’ long, raven hair.

Rider answered, “Nothing is wrong, we just need your assistance with something.”

“Or more like we need you to give us something,” Rin asked as she blushed slightly.

Saber looked at Archer and he shrugged, a puzzled look written all over his face. Saber looked back at them and said, “Of course. You know if it is in our power all you need to do is ask.”

Rin took a deep breath as Archer was taking a long draw of tea. Then she let it out and said, “Archer, I need your semen.”

The tea that Archer had just drank went spraying from his mouth across the room. Saber jumped as he began to choke, the request not quite sinking in as she stroked her lover’s back as he coughed. Soon his coughing was quieted as he stared at Rin. He asked, “You need what?”

“Your sperm. Seed. Semen. Spunk. Jism,” Rin said as she counted off the terminology on her slim fingers.

Saber stared at her and asked, “How dare you make such a request.” Had Excalibur been handy, Saber would have found herself pointing it at the other girl. As it was, she found herself holding a teaspoon in a very threatening manner.

Rider chuckled and said, “Well, you can help extract it Saber.”

“Just make sure it’s not contaminated,” Rin said with a tiny nod, “No lotions, saliva, or love juices, okay. It needs to be as clean as possible.”

Archer wiped watering eyes and asked, “Why though?”

Rider lifted her eyebrows and said, “Because I can’t get Rin pregnant, and there is not a current living magus that has the ability to give me the equipment to do so.”

I doubt Merlin is dead, but he is impossible to find, Saber thought wirily as she watched Archer blink and stare at Rin.

Rin fidgeted with a lock of her hair and Archer asked, “Are you sure?”

“I . . . need an heir, and unlike you and Saber I don’t have Avalon halting my aging and I’m not getting any younger,” Rin said in an oddly quiet voice as Rider took her hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

Saber blinked and said, “Surely Shirou and Sakura would not mind you passing the Crest to one of their children.” It was true, the Emiya family was still growing and Sakura was pregnant with their third child.

“They would mind, but they would do it for Rin,” Archer said in a soft voice.

Rin nodded and said, “And with all that Sakura went through . . . I don’t want her kids to go through that. The Crest is painful, probably less so because I’ll be alive when I give it to my offspring, but still.”

Saber bit her lip and asked, “Why Archer though? I am sure at the Association that there are other magi who would donate.”

“Because I want Archer to be there for the kid, and I know he will, and the other magi at the Association don’t have Reality Marbles and were Heroic Spirits last time I checked,” Rin said with a tiny smile.

Saber frowned and shifted in her seat. Knots formed themselves in Saber’s stomach at Rin’s proposal. Children had never been a thought for Saber, especially after the nightmare that was Mordred, and Archer never talked about the issue due to his feelings surrounding Ilya. However the idea of another woman carrying and bearing Archer’s child was unsettling and was starting to put prickling feelings of another sort within the former King.

Archer looked at Saber and stroked her hair. She leaned into the touch as he met Rin’s eyes and said, “We’re going to need some time to think about this.”

“Of course,” Rin said with a nod, “But I do want you to be a part of the kid’s life. You’re better at taking care of people than Rider or I am, and I want the kid to have an influence. Plus, they will be yours too.”

Archer nodded as his eyes met Saber’s. She said, “We will think heavily on this Rin.”

“Thank you, for not refusing me outright, even though you did sort of threaten me with a spoon,” Rin said with a raised eyebrow as she nodded to the spoon still clutched in Saber’s hand.

[Lycodrake]

I must have missed the Rin x Rider part of Utopia...

[Elf]

I must have missed the Rin x Rider part of Utopia...

Hasn't happened yet.

[Lycodrake]

Hasn't happened yet.

Ah, alright then...not all that sure if I find the pairing believable, though...

[Five_X]

That was pretty good. A fun look into their everyday lives with a touch of seriousness mixed in.

HOWEVER!

You're a fantastic author, and I love your writing, but you are a genuine Ms. Malaproper. Example:

“I would have expected you to be angry at what had perspired.”

You mean transpired there. Perspired means Rider and Saber were... sweating? Perhaps a little too punny for Saber if it was intentional. :P

And another I noticed at a glance:

I doubt Merlin is dead, but he is impossible to find, Saber thought wirily as she watched Archer blink and stare at Rin.

You probably meant to type "wryly." "Wirily" implies that her thoughts... sound like a buzzing old radio? Are tangled? Not sure, but again, it's a silly malapropism.

Now, don't get me wrong: they're well and truly hilarious, and you could become a goldmine of comedy if you used them intentionally. But as it stands, you make quite a few malapropisms like the two above and it tends to detract from the scene itself as I laugh at the silliness of what the substitute word would imply. :P

[RadiantBeam]

Elf, I love you forever and a day, I swear. Rin/Rider is YES.

[Elf]

You're a fantastic author, and I love your writing, but you are a genuine Ms. Malaproper.

Oh no, you're right and I am. Part of it's the spell checker's problem. It gives me words that I think are right and in hind sight it's like, "Aww fuck, not again."

Like I'm self beta-ed. This is a hobby for me that blows off steam. In my stuff that goes to the publisher it's . . . well better edited obviously.

Elf, I love you forever and a day, I swear. Rin/Rider is YES.

Plus I like the idea of Rin asking Archer to be her Baby's Daddy in the Utopia-verse and what that would do to Saber. More like make her think that maybe the two of them starting a family would be a good thing.

[Keyne]

I kind of expected Saber to be a little more outraged by the proposition. In a way, Rin was asking Archer to commit adultery right in Saber's face.

[Elf]

I kind of expected Saber to be a little more outraged by the proposition. In a way, Rin was asking Archer to commit adultery right in Saber's face.

Not really. It's not like Rin asked Archer to have sex with her (even though Rider and Rin would be more than okay with a foursome). She just wants him to be a sperm donor and an important part in the kid's life. The thing of it is even if Rin had gotten someone else to donate the sperm Archer would still be a surrogate father/uncle to the kid.

Rin just wants the best possible kid as a magus and she knows that Archer/Shirou's qualities would balance out some of her tenancies and vice versa.

[Keyne]

I took it from Saber's perspective.

[Kieran]

Ah, finally found the time to get caught up.

The first one was funny - I have to wonder which Batman movie Lancer saw. Given the era of the others, I'd suspect Keaton's, which makes me curious as to what he'd think of Bale's version (it'd be only a year or so away, tops, right?).

And the third one was interesting, but now I really want more "Utopia" . . .

[Elf]

Okay, this I blame on Beam and Mozco.

It's an AU of The Hound and The Blacksmith that crosses over with my novel. Link is kindly provided in my sig.

I wrote this at work. It kinda sucks.



She was cold.

Archer had discovered this on accident earlier this afternoon when his hand had brushed against hers while she had been conducting a Web Search for them. He had pointed to something she had found on the screen, while wondering all the while if magi knew how much was actually on the Internet, and his other hand brushed against hers that was using the mouse. It was an innocent gesture and completely accidental, but he'd lingered for the briefest of moments.

Their vampiric guest from another dimension had cool hands that felt wonderful on his overheated skin.

Archer knew all too well that the "Steel is my body and fire is my blood" was more than metaphorical in his mantra. He was a living forge due to his Reality Marble and was always hot. Physical discomfort was a trifling matter to him, but it was still something he was aware of. It was part of the reason he generally needed a light jacket at most during a snow storm or
how summers made him absolutely miserable since he'd gained his Reality Marble. It was a fact he had been keenly reminded of since his impromptu resurrection.

He'd been lucky, for once, that Lancer was also exceptionally warm natured and Ayako preferred cold over heat for the most part as well. So the office of the Hound and the Blacksmith was colder than the average. However no one knew exactly what made Forest comfortable, and the blond vampire wasn't exactly forthcoming with information.

But Archer touched her hand today and it was cold. She generally preferred wearing sweaters borrowed from Rider, who was also cold natured, over anything else they had for her despite being several sizes too big. He'd also noticed that she was the first one to take tea when it was offered and held the cup between her small hands when it was too hot for most people to
comfortably do so.

"It's because, if I haven't fed, I don't have any body heat," that low, husky feminine voice with it's accent that hadn't been heard by any ear for over a millennia said from behind him.

Archer turned to face the young looking woman as she offered him a smile and tucked a lock of long hair behind her ear. He raised his eyebrows at her and asked, "Listening to my thoughts again?"

"No, all I see in your head is swords, gears, and smoke unless I really start poking around, then it's mostly information with no true order," Forest said with a dismissive wave of her hand and a shake of her head.

He studied her and asked, "But you've tried?"

"It's more like something I really can't turn off. I can ignore it until it becomes white noise and some people can shut me out, but I'm always picking up the signals," Forest said before rolling her eyes with a grimace.

"So, are all the vampires from your world telepathic?" he asked as he studied her.

Indigo eyes met his and she nodded. "Yes, of course it's different degrees of power behind each one, but on the up and up we're telepathic. Some have more talent than others obviously."

"And you can't turn yours off," Archer said, "Is that a normal thing or what?"

Forest sighed and answered, ". . . It's complicated."

"That seems to be your default to answer," Archer said, "However I don't need to read your mind to know you're cold all the time. We can turn up heat or get out the koatsu or something."

She blinked and folded her arms around herself. Despite her height, she was taller than Gilgamesh, her frame was slim, giving her the illusion of petiteness. She also looked to be Ayako's age, which was also disconcerting especially when there was a fight. It was like Saber, a fragile appearance hiding a fierce warrior underneath. Also like Saber, Forest didn't let her needs or wants known.

Or maybe like me, Archer thought dryly. She does have the whole needing to save people complex. Then he smirked at her and she frowned, her eyes narrowing.

"I mean, you can't cuddle next to Lancer for warmth. He's taken after all, and this is the 21st century so you don't have to worry about rubbing some twigs together in the hopes to make a fire," Archer said.

She glared and replied, "Ass."

[Aiden]

Hah.

Okay, I admit, that was fun, if only because I'm familiar with Forest by now.

And her thing for Cu Chulainn.

[RadiantBeam]

Forest/Archer snark was funny as all hell. They bounce off each other far too well.

[LunarLegend]

See, the thing I love about this is not only is Kotomine trolling Archer, he's also trolling Gil, which just makes it even better.

Mother of God. It's beautiful in its elegance.

Also, kudos for Archer bro-ing it up with Lancer. Ah, Lancer. So rugged and untamable. I think Ayako will love to see your place, despite what that naysaying superhero thinks!

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

As stated above, Forest and Archer definitely have some chemistry going. And the idea of EMIYA always being hot is rather interest. EMIYA also being fire/heat proof could also be handy. He can handle hot pots and pans without mitts with that body made of steel! Sure, it doesn't compare to Supes, the Man of Steel, but it's something!

Also, taller than Gilgamesh? And people were considerably shorter in the past. Forest must be up there with Rider for being a freak of nature at her time. I wonder how whatever vampire turned her actually got at her neck.

[Moczo]

... I'm an inspiration! And yes, Forest and Archer do work well together, and have an odd chemistry going. I cannot help but approve (Even as I feel sad for Forest that Cu Chulainn is totally taken in this reality. If only she'd jumped universes a year earlier, she could have had her shot!).

Are you going to write more in this funny shared-verse? Because I would be all over that, you have no idea. The idea makes me happy and joyed.

[Five_X]

Also, taller than Gilgamesh? And people were considerably shorter in the past. Forest must be up there with Rider for being a freak of nature at her time. I wonder how whatever vampire turned her actually got at her neck.

Eh, so long as you got good nutrition, you could be 6+ feet in the Bronze Age. Caesar, for example, is believed to have been around 6 feet tall, and records indicate that ancient Greeks and Romans were not much smaller than we are now. Of course, that changed with the Middle Ages and the shift to cramped cities.