- Threads of Fate -
- Chapter 5 -
Day 4: February 4th
- Iceberg -
Shirou walked with Saber along the sparsely populated streets of Shinto. Towering high above him stood the skyscrapers that cast shadows upon the landscape beneath them. As it was the weekend, barely anyone could be seen walking around city streets; only the odd truck or passerby showed up here and there. Besides that it had been mostly quiet for the last half hour. They continued walking past the glimmering structures of glass and steel.
Truth be told, Shirou had taken this walk around the city for his benefit as much as hers. The memories of that dream were still fresh in his mind as if they had happened only several hours ago. After the heat of the dream, the cool feeling of the night air helped to clear his mind. When he was younger he would sometimes leave the house and wander around the yard or the empty roads until the dream finally faded from his mind and he felt like he could breathe again. It helped clear the feeling of the choking smoke and scalding fire away. Taking a deep breath of fresh air he looked at Saber.
At the moment, Saber was looking away from him at one of the skyscrapers that had been constructed recently. The loose strands of hair above her head waved gently in the wind as she walked calmly beside him. Even though she tried to hide it, Shirou noticed the actions that belied the alert warrior underneath her calm facade; a subtle glance down the darkened alley, a quick shift as she moved herself between him and a stranger, or a fleeting pause as she scanned up and down an intersection for new threats. Even during the calm of the day she was vigilant.
He tried to imagine her wearing a black suit like the ones the media always showed bodyguards wearing; perhaps with midnight black gloves and her hair tied back in a ponytail. Utterly silly.
However, quite like a bodyguard, she didn’t talk. As they walked through the city he had tried to start a conversation with her several times but failed. Despite his attempts at light conversation, she had been quiet for most of the day. It wasn’t that he had been too shy to talk to her... well... actually, that was part of the issue. The main problem, however, was that she didn’t seem to want to talk about herself much.
Most of her responses had been simple curt yes and no answers or “whatever you choose should be sufficient for my needs.” His other attempts at striking up a conversation had been deflected just as deftly, and so they continued onward in silence.
Eventually they reached their last destination: the burnt park within Shinto. It was here that the giant conflagration had taken place 10 years ago. As he walked along the park’s cobbled path he thought about how little the area had changed. The city had tried to change the area into a park but somewhere the plans must have fallen through. A park was supposed to be vibrant and full of life. Children should have been having fun with other kids as their parents looked onward. Lovers should have lain on the open grassy plain; enjoying the limited sunshine.
There was none of that here. Grass the color of hay rustled with the wind as they walked into the park. The cold winter months had stripped most of the trees of their leaves, leaving only their seemingly lifeless figures standing. As he followed the cobble path he thought about how the area seemed more like a graveyard than a park: empty and desolate. When he visited here before work he felt as if he was the only soul that came to this place; as if this land was cursed and warded people away.
Stopping at a park bench Shirou put one foot on the bench and gazed off into the distance. He thought about all that had happened here, of the hundreds of lives that were lost that day. He often wondered why out of all the people there he had been the only one that was saved. Though the ash and fire were gone, the fire had permanently left its mark. He shivered; not all of it was from the cool air. There were too many memories here...
Turning towards Saber, Shirou saw her standing several steps back looking off into the distance, her arms hugging her sides and her hands clenched nervously into fists. In the distance Saber watched the sickly yellow grass wave in the gentle wind but it was clear to him she saw more than just the grass before her; her eyes distracted and looking far off. He called her name and she broke from the reverie she had been under.
He called out again, “Saber? Is everything alright?”
Saber’s eyes focused towards him. Placing her arms back down at her sides, her expression returned to that controlled neutral look she always had. “Everything’s fine Shirou. In any case, should we head back? It appears evening is approaching.” With a suspicious amount of haste she tried to hurry past him.
Shirou, however, wasn’t convinced and placed his hand upon her shoulder, stopping her from walking away. “Saber, I know I’m not the best Master to help you win this war, but you are still my Servant and, more importantly, my partner. That means being able to trust one another despite our differences. If it’s something personal, I’ll understand but if it’s something that I should know about the war...”
She sighed. As if her strength had been drained from her, she took a seat on the lonely bench and stared wordlessly at the fields of grass. He took the seat next to her and listened as she spoke. “I remember this place at the end of the last Holy Grail war. It was down to me and one last Servant: Archer. Even though I had a proper Master, I could not best him. In the end, even though I hadn’t defeated Archer, my Master used all his Command Spells to force me to destroy the Grail.” She paused but her eyes continued roaming the park, seeing images that he could not. “All I remember after that was the explosion... a wave of fire that destroyed brick and melted steel... and the remains of the town. With the Grail destroyed, I vanished soon after.”
She turned to face him now. Her eyes tinged with sadness, “Do you understand, Shirou? I’m responsible for the fire that occurred. I am responsible for all those people.” Even as she spoke, he could hear her voice weakening.
“I’m sorry. Everything that happened ten years ago was my fault,” she spoke, her voice now so quiet he could barely hear her. “H.. Had I been stronger, none of that would have happened.” She hung her head down in shame. She clasped her hands together in front of her and fidgeted nervously.
His mind stopped and his breath caught in his throat; unsure of what to do. He remembered vaguely after that fateful day, when his skin was still healing from the harsh burns from the Fuyuki Fire, that he imagined some horrible monster had brought such horrible destruction to his home and life. Only someone completely evil and devoid of emotions could have done such a thing. His time with Kiritsugu, however, had let all that fade away like wisps of smoke in the wind. Looking at Saber, however, he didn’t see a monster or any evil.
He remembered the beautiful knight silhouetted against the moonlight that had rescued him from Lancer. Her regal pose radiated an aura of strength that had given him pause simply from looking at her. Compared to the bowed figure before him... It was wrong... Someone as strong as her shouldn’t be stricken with remorse like this.
Silence permeated the air and each second seemed to make Saber even more nervous. Shirou’s mind contemplated what to say, stuck between the urge to see the knight smile once more and the urge to lash out at her for all that had been lost. Finally, he made up his mind.
“It’s okay,” he said softly.
His response caused Saber to look up in surprise, her eyes filled with uncertainty. Moving closer to her, Shirou gently cradled her petite hands with his own. The skin felt coarse, most likely from the years spent honing her skills with her sword to an art, yet they still retained a certain softness to them.
“You probably didn’t know, but I was in that fire. All those years ago... before Kiritsugu saved me. And although I can’t speak for the people now gone, I forgive you... because you’re not a heartless killer or a monster. Because you never wanted any of that to happen and were forced to do it.” Shirou said.
Her troubled eyes looked deep into his own and Shirou held his gaze firm; lest he show any weakness to her. “You blame yourself. That’s only natural. You were forced to watch as everyone died all around you. It took me years to stop asking ‘why was I saved while everyone perished around me.’ I can only guess it must be worse for you, since it seems like yesterday.”
“And you... got past all of it?” she asked,
“No,” he replied with the shake of his head. “But I learned to live. I learned to do my best to help everyone around me to make this life worth it. I learned to live with my past and move on so that I wouldn’t squander this second chance that was given to me. To prove the reason I was saved wasn’t a mistake.”
He shut his eyes as he fought back the memories of that night. He was aware of the hypocrisy within his words. On certain certain nights, he still saw the fire in his dreams... the smoke... the cries for help that would never come... dreams that still haunted him to this day. Yet none of that mattered. Right now, all he wanted to do was see her smile again.
He gave her a smile before holding her hand tight and saying, “But even beyond all that...In this war, it’s our responsibility to make sure another... Emiya Shirou doesn’t happen again. To make sure the power of the Grail doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.”
Finally, Shirou opened his eyes to see Saber returning a partial smile towards him. “I... yes... You’re right. We’ll make sure such an event doesn’t happen again in this war,” she said quietly. Closing her olive green eyes she exhaled a breath before hiding her emotions behind a mask of calm. She stood up and, although he could still see she was shaken, that natural aura of calm and regality he associated with her had returned.
“I feel... better. T...hank you for that, Shirou. Sh... Shall we continue on then?” she asked.
He could only smile at her response. He looked towards the sight of the sinking sun. “Let’s go home. I think we’ve walked enough for today and I’m sure you’re hungry by now. I’m not sure what you’re used to eating but I’ll make a wide variety of dishes today and see which one you like.” His smile broadened as he heard her emit a muffled sound of joy and her eyes looked at him with renewed vigor. With that, they headed back.
Trailing slightly behind Shirou, Saber looked back at the empty fields of grass. Quiet, almost to the point of silence, she muttered to herself,
“If you really knew, could you forgive me so easily?”
====
- Show no fear -
The sun had almost set by the time they reached the familiar road that led home. There had been a calm silence as they both walked back; different from the silence earlier in the afternoon. It seemed more natural, like taking a breath of air after a long dive. Looking back towards Saber, it seemed as if she had regained her stoic composure once more.
Stepping through the entryway into the Emiya residence, they took off their shoes before heading towards the main room. As they walked through the sparsely lit hall, Shirou felt as if he was forgetting something. Something very important. Something... dangerous.
“Shirou! It’s about time you got back. I’m huuuungry...” came the voice of Taiga as her soft footsteps headed towards them.
WARNING: A DIRE THREAT, TAIGA FUJIMURA, IS APPROACHING FAST. WARNING.
He felt the blood drain from his face at Taiga’s words. His breathe went shallow and he had to clutch the wall to keep from falling over. This was not good... If he didn’t handle this correctly then he would definitely die. Sweat dripped down his back as he tried to think of some way out of this dangerous situation.
“Shirou? Is everything alright? You seem pale...” said Saber.
“Eh? Shirouuu?? Who’s that?” called Taiga from the main room. He could hear her dainty footsteps moving closer, signaling his doom.
He thought he felt his stomach twist three times over and the world seemed to waver in his vision. This was definitely bad. Retreat was no longer an option now. That meant he’d have to confront his fears head on or face destruction. Forcing himself to walk forwards with confidence he didn’t feel, he went forth to meet this great foe. Gathering what strength he had remaining, he called out, “Hello, Taiga!”
“Shirou, you’re back late,” said Taiga as the upper part of her body leaned into the hallway. “Is that Sak...........”
“...”
“...”
The hallway lay silent as Taiga stared mutely at the both of them; A silence that echoed and ceased all other noises. For long moments, they stood there frozen and stared at one another.
“Shirou... Who’s that?” asked Taiga.
His heart raced as he tried to think of an answer that would please Fuji-nee. “Ah, Her name is Saber. She’s a foreigner and we’ll be taking care of her for a while.” Even as he spoke he knew those words sounded weak. Thoughts raced within his head. This explanation wouldn’t do for Fuji-nee; she’d need something more concrete to satisfy her.
Stuttering for several moments, he rapidly said, “She’s a distant acquaintance of Kiritsugu. She came here looking for Kiritsugu but only learned of his death when she arrived. I was talking with her and showing her around town today, that’s why I was late.” Finished talking and let go of the breath he realized he had been holding. “Saber, this is Fuji-nee. She’s been my guardian ever since Kiritsugu died.”
Taiga’s face was frozen in a suspicious stare as she walked towards them. Her gaze wavered between the two of them as if she was sizing up which one to attack first. “Is... that... right...” said Taiga, carefully punctuating each word. Her eyes focused on Saber.
“In that case... You there, Saber-san, explain to me why you came here,” said Taiga
“Fuji-nee, D...” Shirou began to say.
“Be quiet, Shirou. I asked Saber-san. Well?” said Taiga as she looked up and down at Saber.
Silence. Shirou could feel his heart-rate rise as Saber stood mutely. Finally, she gave a slight nod, “Shirou is correct. Kiritsugu made many enemies overseas before he retired. He said to me that if anything were to happen to him, I should look after Shirou and protect him from any possible enemies. My only regret is that the message about his passing did not reach me sooner. I am here to make sure there are no enemies that may threaten him. At home or from abroad.”
“Oh? really...” muttered Taiga. She placed both hands on her hips as an arrogant smile crossed her lips.”That’s a shame then. Shirou already has a protector. Besides, I don’t need anyone who’s weak protecting him so you can feel free to go back home.”
For a moment, he thought he saw Saber smile but then it was gone. In fact, it seemed her outward appearance had turned even colder. Adjusting her footwork, Saber switched her footwork into a balanced battle stance before speaking, “That’s good then. We are in agreement. The weaker one should leave.”
Saber looked Taiga directly in the eye and said, “Then... shouldn’t you be leaving?”
===
Shirou’s head still felt as if Berserker had played football with it. From the way the floor was oriented he thought he might have been lying down but he couldn’t be sure given how much his head throbbed in pain. Above him were Sakura and Saber, both trying to comfort and heal his shattered skull. He vaguely remembered Fuji-nee doing something ridiculous by challenging Saber to a duel of skills.
Saber, being the knight of honor, obviously accepted. Then things became weird. He wasn’t sure how, but Fuji-nee pulled a shinai seemingly from thin air. All he knew was that he took his eyes off Fuji-nee to glance at Saber and then Taiga was holding a shinai she’d procured as far as he was aware, from either her pants or some hidden compartment within the main room. The thought that Fuji-nee was hiding shinais in every corner of his house to protect him was both endearing yet unsettling at the same time.
The older school teacher swung down with the wooden sword and predictably missed, the blonde servant easily sidestepping what must have been to her trained reflexes an impossibly slow swing. With a loud scream, Fuji-nee swung her sword again and again; each attack being nimbly dodged by Saber.
If anything, it had seemed as if Saber was playing with her. With every swing, Saber always seemed to be able to dodge at the last second. If the rise in volume of the Archery Teacher’s shouting had been any indication, Fuji-nee’s frustration grew with every swing. Soon, Saber was dashing, leaping and dodging frantically around the living room table as the Fuji-nee followed her around.
It was after the crazed sword-wielding woman narrowly missed the TV and the cup on the table that he decided to intervene. Standing between Fuji-nee and Saber in front of the living room door, he shouted at both of them.
“Alright, that’s enough!” he’d said.
Several things happened in that time. Sakura had evidently arrived home several moments before. The sound of Sakura opening the door into the main room caused him to turn his head away from Fuji-nee; in retrospect a dangerous thing to do. That distraction was all Taiga needed. Seeing an opening, Taiga sidestepped his body and swung at Saber’s small form; a strike easily dodged by the Servant. Unfortunately, Sakura’s arrival and sudden proximity to him caused Shirou to take several steps back, leaving him right in the path of Taiga’s strike.
As such, the first thing Sakura saw when she came home was Taiga knocking Shirou right on the head. Coupled with Saber’s appearance, it probably would have been annoying for him to explain everything to Sakura. Luckily for him, someone else would have to do that as he saw the darkness of unconsciousness close around him.
===
“Waaaah! Saber took Shirou away from me!” cried Fuji-nee. The wailing woman handed her rice bowl towards Shirou.
Shirou sighed. As usual, his guardian was overreacting once again. Taking the bowl, he refilled it and returned it to the grieving Fuji-nee. It wasn’t as if he was leaving the house forever. They’d just be having another person living at the house till the end of the war. It wasn’t as if the house was lacking in space. There were enough spare rooms and space to accommodate almost a dozen people. He tried to explain this to the crying school teacher, but she only bawled further.
Really, Fuji-nee was probably more upset over her loss to Saber than losing “protector” status of him. After waking up, Sakura explained Saber had easily disarmed Fuji-nee of her shinai. In the time it took Fuji-nee to realise she’d hit Shirou by accident, Saber had moved in, disarmed her of the weapon and thrown Taiga over her shoulder and onto the floor. The fact that not only had she been defeated so quickly but by a woman both smaller and lighter than her may have also been a factor.
Because of his recent acquaintance with the end of Taiga’s shinai, Sakura had been adamant about letting Shirou rest while she dealt with the cooking.. “Besides, I wanted to try a new recipe I discovered,” she’d said.
While Sakura began to bring the steaming hot dishes to the table, Shirou passed out the bowls of rice to everyone at the table. A new tasty smell piqued Shirou’s curiosity, however, and he began to sniff the air. It was slightly spicy in smell yet he could detect a slight sweetness that tempered the sharpness that came from the spice.
“Sakura, is that... Curry?” asked Shirou. While curry wasn’t exactly unknown to their household, Sakura making a dish containing the ingredient was rare.
“Yes, you’re right,” said Sakura as she brought the final dish towards the table. She set the plate down and he could see the sweet yet spicy smell came from the okonomiyaki Sakura had made. Sakura took her place besides Fuji-nee and they finally began the meal.
Except for Fuji-nee’s loud and excessive consumption of Sakura’s cooking, the table stayed relatively silent as the rest at the table began to fill their bowls. Taking a piece of the okonomiyaki, he cut it and took a bite. The curry mixed well with the other spices in the dish and the egg’s texture was pleasantly soft yet being cooked enough to hold all the ingredients together.
“This is quite good, Sakura,” said Shirou, savoring the rest of the okonomiyaki.
“Yes, it is quite delicious,” said Saber as she finished her bowl of rice.
“Thank you, I wasn’t sure if I made it correctly,” Sakura replied with a nervous smile. Her cheeks turned red in a nervous gesture as she focused her eyes on a spot on the table to avoid eye contact with Shirou. Really, she had always been too shy and modest for her own good. Even if there was something that bothered her she would never mention it, and instead bare with the problem. Which reminded him...
“Sakura, what do you think about Saber staying here?” he asked.
“Eh? Saber?” she said in surprise. Her expression reminded him of Shinji’s expression when Taiga had caught him sleeping. “I’m not sure if I should say anything. After all, I myself don’t live here. I’m not sure my opinion should affect your choice regarding Saber.”
“Don’t be silly Sakura. You’re essentially family, just like Fuji-nee. Your opinion is important,” said Shirou.
She returned a pleasant smile to him. “Thank you, Senpai. Very well. If you think Saber staying here won’t be a problem then I don’t see what issue there could be. She seems quite nice and she’s really polite.”
She smiled at Saber before returning her attention to her bowl. A soft murmur was Fuji-nee’s only objection as she continued to pile more and more food onto her plate; drowning her sorrow with rice and Sakura’s cooking. Besides Fuji-nee’s constant sniffling, however, the rest of dinner went by mostly silent.
Afterwards, Shirou helped gather all the plates up so that Sakura could finish washing them. It was customary at his home for the cook to also finish washing the dishes, a ritual that developed from living with only Fuji-nee for so long. As usual, Fuji-nee went straight off to the TV, leaving Saber and himself alone enjoying the tea at the table.
“For everything that could have possibly gone wrong introducing Saber, today went exceptionally well,” Shirou thought to himself as he sipped his tea. Looking at his watch, he suddenly noticed the time. Due to Fuji-nee’s shenanigans and his walk around Fuyuki with Saber, his watch showed it was just past 930; definitely later than normal. While Fuji-nee might have been fine going home this late at night, Sakura was a different matter.
“Fuji-nee, could you get ready to walk Sakura back? It’s getting late and I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be walking home alone,” he said.
“Nope,” she said rather quickly. Her replied had a cheerful upbeat tone to it. That worried him.
“And... why is that?” he asked. There was a sinking feeling that was growing in the back of his mind. He didn't like where this was headed.
“Because I’ll be sleeping here starting tonight!” announced Fuji-nee. Shirou’s brain slowed to a halt as he tried to process what she’d just said.
“What...” he said dumbfounded.
“Yup!” she replied cheerfully. “Sakura-chan, why don’t you stay too? I can contact your place to check. It’ll be more fun with all of us here.”
Sakura looked behind her upon hearing her name called. “Uhhhmmm....” she said in thought. She pondered the decision for a moment, wet dish still in hand, before deciding. “That sounds like a good idea, Fujimura-sensei. We can get to know Saber better while we’re here.”
“Excellent! Then it’s decided!” replied Fuji-nee with a cheer. Shirou rolled his eyes in frustration. The fact that Fuji-nee hadn’t even bothered asking him his opinion on the matter hadn’t escaped his attention.
Shirou sighed. So this was her backup plan... she couldn’t simply allow a stranger like Saber to live with Shirou on his own, so she’d be staying here for all that time until Saber left. This was going to be a problem...
Fuji-nee turned her attention to the blonde foreigner sitting across from him. “Come on, Saber. There should be plenty of room in the back room at the west wing, and we should have plenty of futons. That sound fine to you, Saber?”
He looked back at Saber and saw her eyes opened wide in fear with limbs rigid; her mug frozen between the table and her lips. The look Saber gave towards him was quite easy to translate.
Oh shit
“Shirou,” said Saber moving closer towards him so she couldn't be overheard, “I won’t be able to protect you if I’m in the other room with them. Even though I may be close, it is still too dangerous when Servants are involved.”
“I’m not sure if I can do anything about that, Saber. Fuji-nee’s father is technically the owner of this property until I come of age. I’d rather not push my luck with her. Besides, it looks like Sakura and Fuji-nee might be staying here for a while so you might as well get to know them better.”
“I suppose... I would rather not be force out onto the streets. But Shirou, that still doesn't solve how I will protect you at night.”
“Hey! Stop whispering over there, you two,” said Fuji-nee. She grabbed Saber’s hand and began to pull her towards the door. “Come on, Saber-san. Let’s go to the west wing. You can choose which futon you’d like. Well, except mine of course; the one covered in tigers.”
With Sakura in tow, Fuji-nee dragged Saber along with her to the west wing. All the way to the door, Saber pleaded with her eyes for Shirou for help.
“Sorry, Saber. It looked like you’re on your own for this one,” replied Shirou with a sigh.
===
Shirou stared up at the ceiling of his room and lay patiently on his futon as the minutes passed by. With Saber under the watchful eye of not only Fuji-nee but Sakura as well, it looked like they’d be stuck at home tonight. As such, he’d be sleeping early instead of patrolling the streets of Fuyuki, which was just as well considering his body still felt tender from his recently healed wounds. If he had to fight or dodge like on that first night against Lancer, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to survive as long as he had on that first night in his current condition.
From the room over, he could hear Saber, Sakura and Fuji-nee’s muffled conversation. Idly, he wondered what the girls in their room were talking about. He’d instructed Saber to pretend she didn’t speak Japanese if they ever asked her a question related to the war or her supernatural origins, however given how much conversation he overheard in the room over it seemed Saber was doing just fine. Eventually the talk died down and his home was once more plunged into silence and darkness. He let several minutes pass just in case before slipping out of bed.
Opening the door into the yard, he breathed in the chilly winter air. Taking care to not make a sound, he tiptoed across the grass and opened the door into shed. The door still had the gash where Lancer had missed his attack and nearly cut the door in half. Perhaps once the war was done, he could focus on repairs. Sitting down on the soft towel in the center of the shed, he place the bottoms of both his feet together before shutting his eyes. Taking a breath of cool air, he focused on the task at hand.
Ever since Kiritsugu had taught him how to practice magecraft he had done this ritual almost every night. The fact was the tool shed was the only location he could have any privacy to practice in peace. Now, more than ever, he needed to make sure his reinforcement was working correctly. Although he might have been a failure of a magus, with Saber counting on him to win the war he had to have ‘something’ to support her with; even if it was something as small as reinforcement.
He thought about the other masters most likely looking for each other in Fuyuki. Were they like him and Saber? Or perhaps their relationships were different. Were they fighting one another like Saber and Berserker had last night? Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts away and emptied his mind before beginning tonight’s magecraft practice.
======
- White -
Blood was splattered against the pristine white apartment wall and oozed into a pool on the ceramic kitchen flooring. In the air was the smell of ozone and smoke. His breath was low and shallow as he desperately tried to contain the blood pouring from his wound.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to... “ she said.
“It’s okay...” he said, silencing her words. “We... all make... mistakes.”
“Too many...” she whispered in reply.
=====
Author's Notes: As this is a Nasuverse fic, it only makes sense that food porn would return. For those of you that are looking for more action, you'll be happy to hear it's coming next chapter.