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Thread: So, I'm independently writing a screenplay for a live-action adaption of Tsukihime..

  1. #41
    屍食鬼 Ghoul PyrusofCinder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by terraablaze View Post
    Question: Arcueid is busty. I assume this is not strictly something you feel a need to represent, correct?
    More Serious Question: Arcueid fights in a long restraining skirt. How do you plan to deal with this? (No seriously, how does she move with that thing?)
    No, not really. I don't see where it would make a difference one way or the other.

    Well it's not like Arcueid uses her legs much. In Melty Blood she uses claw attacks primarily, and that's what I was thinking of doing in the screenplay. It's not as if I'm going to intentionally add in upskirts. After all, this is Tsukihime, not Witchblade. I suppose I could add in a scene during a fight where Arcueid gets frustrated with her skirt, then rips it up higher on the sides in order to add extra mobility.

  2. #42
    I was thinking more, how does she move fast. You have to close in before you can scratch someone.

    Edit: wait I mean, I don't know. Her moving fast seems a bit more important then a one time thing. I'm not sure where you got upskirts from that.
    Last edited by terraablaze; June 24th, 2012 at 04:40 PM.
    Araya, what do you seek?
    「アラヤ、何を求める」
    ------True wisdom.
    「――――真の叡智を」
    Araya, where do you seek it?
    「アラヤ、何処に求める」
    Only within myself.
    「――――ただ、己が内にのみ」
    Araya, what is your favorite color?
    「アラヤ、好きな色は?」
    Blue. No, ora-- Auuuuuuuugh!
    「青、いや、オレンジイイイイイアアアっ!」

  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by terraablaze View Post
    ^
    oh god please don't have her refer to him as "big brother". That's seriously the most awkward thing ever. No one talks like that.
    aaaaaaaa

    Hope Rides With His Godly Ronin/Cowboy Brother In Law

  4. #44
    Taiga's knight Tobias's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by terraablaze View Post
    oh god please don't have her refer to him as "big brother". That's seriously the most awkward thing ever. No one talks like that.
    so much this
    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    The moment the opportunity arises for a pun, the one known as 'Taiga's Knight' will be there to deliver whether you like it or not.

  5. #45
    @Type
    I don't see how some girl you knew drizzling sex every time she talked to her familial relations has to do with it still being out of place.
    Araya, what do you seek?
    「アラヤ、何を求める」
    ------True wisdom.
    「――――真の叡智を」
    Araya, where do you seek it?
    「アラヤ、何処に求める」
    Only within myself.
    「――――ただ、己が内にのみ」
    Araya, what is your favorite color?
    「アラヤ、好きな色は?」
    Blue. No, ora-- Auuuuuuuugh!
    「青、いや、オレンジイイイイイアアアっ!」

  6. #46
    nyanpasu☆liner bahamut zero's Avatar
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    Akiha "Hello Bro"
    Shiki "Wat."

  7. #47
    屍食鬼 Ghoul PyrusofCinder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    so much this
    Yeah, don't worry. I can't stand that either. I cringe every time a character says that in an English dub. In the script, as of right now, all she calls him is "brother". Not "big brother" or "Nii-chan"

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by bahamut zero View Post
    Akiha "Hello Bro"
    Shiki "Wat."
    ^ LOLOLOL

  8. #48
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Chaos Greyblood's Avatar
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    I wonder... will you find a woman worthy of being Aoko?
    It's easy to believe in ideals, but it's harder to keep them when things go bad.


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  9. #49
    屍食鬼 Ghoul PyrusofCinder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaos Greyblood View Post
    I wonder... will you find a woman worthy of being Aoko?
    You and I are wondering the same thing, dude. We can only hope.

  10. #50
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Chaos Greyblood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PyrusofCinder View Post
    You and I are wondering the same thing, dude. We can only hope.
    Do so and you'll be my hero. Hell, I'll pay to see the LA adaptation!
    It's easy to believe in ideals, but it's harder to keep them when things go bad.


    Hey, guys! Come visit Chaos Greyblood's Fanfiction Idea thread! Let us create stories and worlds together. :3
    Follow me on Twitter!
    DA FINGAAAALAAAAZAR!!!
    DAT SEXY VICTORY POSE!
    Fanfic project No. 1: The Hell Biker

  11. #51
    Quote Originally Posted by PyrusofCinder View Post
    Yeah, don't worry. I can't stand that either. I cringe every time a character says that in an English dub. In the script, as of right now, all she calls him is "brother". Not "big brother" or "Nii-chan"
    kk, I don't really have a voice then, carry on.

    Hope Rides With His Godly Ronin/Cowboy Brother In Law

  12. #52
    I told 'em, I told 'em. Bugrit! eddyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PyrusofCinder View Post
    In the script, as of right now, all she calls him is "brother". Not "big brother" or "Nii-chan"
    This. And I'd say only when she's angry, or suspicious.
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  13. #53
    屍食鬼 Ghoul PyrusofCinder's Avatar
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    On a separate note, I'm doing my own thing with the ending. Let's just say the chance you'll all see Satsujinki is a very high possibility. I was also considering having the ending open events for a sequel. Which, if I do a sequel, it'll probably be based off of the first Melty Blood's story instead of Kagetsu Tohya, and have Night of Wallachia as the main antagonist.

  14. #54
    This is a nice idea in so many different ways. I wish you the best, and intend to follow your progress closely.

  15. #55
    Shouldn't this be in Doujin Projects?

    On a side note, I'd love to help in any way shape or form that doesn't involve my spending any money

    in other words, nothing that would be of actual help

    also, if you're westernizing it, why would it matter that Shiki/Arihiko/Satsuki/Akiha etc are Asian?
    Code:
    [07:55:59] <Spinach> Take off your clothes Kirby
    [07:56:07] <Kirby> I'm in class
    
    [20:37:34] <Lian|phone> there is a such thing as lingerie for guys?
    [20:37:54] <Kyokushi> yea
    [20:37:57] <Kyokushi> they're called jockstraps
    [20:38:02] <Lian|phone> :o
    [20:38:07] * Lian|phone googles
    [20:38:10] <Kyokushi> NO
    [20:38:11] <Kyokushi> DON'T
    [20:40:07] <Lian|phone> okay
    [20:40:16] <Lian|phone> I don't think I should have googled that
    
    [12:59:30]  <Spinach> call me onii-chan, bitch
    [13:00:12]  <kroyo> imma fuck ur shit up onii-fam

  16. #56
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Yeah, I definitely support the idea of cutting Nrvnqsr's subplot out and stitching in some farside/original content to fulfill the same role in the overall plot, unless your CG budget is bigger than you're letting on. Besides, even if you could pull him off, there's a lot of ground to cover in Tsukihime. Trying to fit all of it might make things too cluttered for a movie. I think as long as you hit the important parts and do them well, it's okay to simplify.

    Crazy purists might get pissed off, but they were never going to be satisfied in the first place.

  17. #57
    HSTP 500 Internal S ervant  Error aldeayeah's Avatar
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    a) Some of the best material in Arc True happens as inner monologues:

    - Shiki's inner thoughts when killing Arc.
    - Shiki's reaction to Arc dying at Roa's hands.

    You can adapt that in a number of ways, like voiceover (laziest but most faithful), scene rewriting, some great acting (a scarce resource) or simply disregarding it.

    b) You are going to have to define the amount of exposition your story will need (the least the best). That is going to affect the dialogue as well.

    c) If you're sticking to Arc route, in the VN some core stuff is left intentionally vague because it's the subject of other routes. For example, what exactly happened eight years ago. You will probably want to backport some of that material into Arc route, but without going overboard (for example, giving an important role to the maids may be a bad idea).

    d) Even though we all love Arihiko, you'll probably want to cut most of the school life part.

    EDIT: How I'd do it
    -------------------------
    I'd start the script with a faithful reproduction of the [Aoko] prologue, then jump right straight to the day Shiki faints in class. A cliched (but elegant) way to do this would be to have the prologue as a dream scene while sick Shiki's snoozing in class. For maximum economy (and because she's an important character in the route, and the earlier you bring her out the better), you can introduce Ciel right after that, make them meet on Shiki's way to the nurse or something (maybe make her the one who takes Shiki to the infirmary?). Then comes the Arc killing scene, and only after that we meet Akiha and co. From there on it's a vanilla Arc route, starting with the meeting her on the way to school. Nero can be cut entirely, but then you'll have to rewrite stuff because the bit about Shiki being Arc's bodyguard doesn't make much sense if there isn't an immediate threat. Personally I'd leave Nero in, but tone down his abilities. The rest depends on what you want to go for, but you'll probably want to keep the iconic scenes: when Arc nearly eats Shiki, the final showdown in the school and the epilogue. You'll have to explain the whole Shiki/SHIKI situation somewhere along the way (that's Akiha's only important part in the story). I'd wrap the whole thing up with Eclipse but that's just me.

    EDIT 2:

    Another more radical and IMO better way to structure the beginning would be: start with sick Shiki in school, quickly introduce Ciel, then you can have the Arc killing as soon as minute 2-3! (giving the script a very strong start) Then when Arc's dead and Shiki's all "what?" you cut to title screen/main credits and only then you do the [Aoko] Prologue bit. Then at the end of the prologue we're back to the Arc murder scene, from which the story can proceed normally. The advantage of this is that the prologue is very good but very long, and by delaying it until the main plot is started (with Arc's murder) you can grab the attention of the viewer and never let it go.

    EDIT 3: Being a Nero fan, I still would prefer him to show up, even if in an extremely toned-down version, but not because I like him (which I do), but because it's hard for existing characters to take on his role, and his absence may cause cascading changes that end up affecting the story's core.

    I mean, with just a bit of sleight of hand you can substitute Soil of Genesis with Nero swallowing Arc into his longcoat. The part with the beasts is harder to do, but maybe you can get away with using just dogs? Or ditch the animals (they're hell to work with) and make him have humanoid minions?

    EDIT 4: Ciel's role may be expanded by explaining her role as the former incarnation of Roa, but I wouldn't grab anything else from Ciel's route, particularly not any romantic interest in Shiki. Harem plots are OK for romantic comedies or eroge, but IMO they have no business here.

    ----

    Of course these are all just ideas, grab what you like and throw away what you must. I ended up writing far more than I expected, maybe because I've toyed with this kind of idea in the past myself.
    Last edited by aldeayeah; June 25th, 2012 at 11:20 AM.

  18. #58
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Chaos Greyblood's Avatar
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    Just a question: How you will decide the arc to follow?
    It's easy to believe in ideals, but it's harder to keep them when things go bad.


    Hey, guys! Come visit Chaos Greyblood's Fanfiction Idea thread! Let us create stories and worlds together. :3
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  19. #59
    屍食鬼 Ghoul PyrusofCinder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aldeayeah View Post
    a) Some of the best material in Arc True happens as inner monologues:

    - Shiki's inner thoughts when killing Arc.
    - Shiki's reaction to Arc dying at Roa's hands.

    You can adapt that in a number of ways, like voiceover (laziest but most faithful), scene rewriting, some great acting (a scarce resource) or simply disregarding it.

    b) You are going to have to define the amount of exposition your story will need (the least the best). That is going to affect the dialogue as well.

    c) If you're sticking to Arc route, in the VN some core stuff is left intentionally vague because it's the subject of other routes. For example, what exactly happened eight years ago. You will probably want to backport some of that material into Arc route, but without going overboard (for example, giving an important role to the maids may be a bad idea).

    d) Even though we all love Arihiko, you'll probably want to cut most of the school life part.

    EDIT: How I'd do it
    -------------------------
    I'd start the script with a faithful reproduction of the [Aoko] prologue, then jump right straight to the day Shiki faints in class. A cliched (but elegant) way to do this would be to have the prologue as a dream scene while sick Shiki's snoozing in class. For maximum economy (and because she's an important character in the route, and the earlier you bring her out the better), you can introduce Ciel right after that, make them meet on Shiki's way to the nurse or something (maybe make her the one who takes Shiki to the infirmary?). Then comes the Arc killing scene, and only after that we meet Akiha and co. From there on it's a vanilla Arc route, starting with the meeting her on the way to school. Nero can be cut entirely, but then you'll have to rewrite stuff because the bit about Shiki being Arc's bodyguard doesn't make much sense if there isn't an immediate threat. Personally I'd leave Nero in, but tone down his abilities. The rest depends on what you want to go for, but you'll probably want to keep the iconic scenes: when Arc nearly eats Shiki, the final showdown in the school and the epilogue. You'll have to explain the whole Shiki/SHIKI situation somewhere along the way (that's Akiha's only important part in the story). I'd wrap the whole thing up with Eclipse but that's just me.

    EDIT 2:

    Another more radical and IMO better way to structure the beginning would be: start with sick Shiki in school, quickly introduce Ciel, then you can have the Arc killing as soon as minute 2-3! (giving the script a very strong start) Then when Arc's dead and Shiki's all "what?" you cut to title screen/main credits and only then you do the [Aoko] Prologue bit. Then at the end of the prologue we're back to the Arc murder scene, from which the story can proceed normally. The advantage of this is that the prologue is very good but very long, and by delaying it until the main plot is started (with Arc's murder) you can grab the attention of the viewer and never let it go.

    EDIT 3: Being a Nero fan, I still would prefer him to show up, even if in an extremely toned-down version, but not because I like him (which I do), but because it's hard for existing characters to take on his role, and his absence may cause cascading changes that end up affecting the story's core.

    I mean, with just a bit of sleight of hand you can substitute Soil of Genesis with Nero swallowing Arc into his longcoat. The part with the beasts is harder to do, but maybe you can get away with using just dogs? Or ditch the animals (they're hell to work with) and make him have humanoid minions?

    EDIT 4: Ciel's role may be expanded by explaining her role as the former incarnation of Roa, but I wouldn't grab anything else from Ciel's route, particularly not any romantic interest in Shiki. Harem plots are OK for romantic comedies or eroge, but IMO they have no business here.

    ----

    Of course these are all just ideas, grab what you like and throw away what you must. I ended up writing far more than I expected, maybe because I've toyed with this kind of idea in the past myself.
    a) For the scene where Shiki kills Arcueid, I was considering doing some Requiem For A Dream/Darren Aronofsky type of cinematography. Like how the noise of everything else will be drowned out, besides the cries of Shiki, and an extremely loud heartbeat or siren type wail. For the school part, where Roa kills Arcueid, good acting will suffice.

    b) Right. Since I'm working on the rough draft at the moment, I'm adding in a lot of excess dialogue, so I can determine what to keep, and what to cut.

    c) Exactly what I'm doing.

    d) I pretty much am. The only school parts are in the beginning, where Satsuki, Arihiko, and Ciel are introduced, as well as the following day. After that, essentially no other school scenes, besides maybe a part where it shows the teacher in class calls out names, and states that Satsuki is absent, to lead up to her and Shiki's encounter.

    As for Nero, I suppose I could just have it where he has human familiars, but then Roa would just feel the same as Nero. On the other hand, Nero is kind of necessary when it comes to developing Shiki and Arcueid.

    With Ciel, I'm doing exactly what you're saying. Arcueid is the only romantic interest, but Ciel's background is still expanded upon, without going completely overboard.

    On a side note, the scene where Aoko meets Shiki is expanded upon later on. He briefly mentions her upon killing Arcueid, but later on, once Arcueid asks about his glasses, a flashback scene plays, with Shiki's commentary on the events.

  20. #60
    dead Lianru's Avatar
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    About Akiha: Just use "brother".
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