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Thread: Wandering Hearts [Moemon Fanfic]

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    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    Wandering Hearts [Moemon Fanfic]

    A Moemon Fanfic, unrelated to the Pokegirl setting. As such, expect NSFW content. I have no idea how often this will update, since it's mostly just something I'm writing for fun. But since I wrote it, please enjoy~. There's actually quite a bit more content already written, so it'll probably get added sooner or later if you guys like what I've got so far. If you have questions and such, feel free to ask. I might not answer some of them, though, since they may come up in the plot later

    Needless to say, I don't own Pokemon or any of the related intellectual properties. Nor is this for profit.

    And now, let the story begin~

    Wandering Hearts


    A Tale of Tails andTravels

    [Rats in the Walls]

    It hurts.
    That’s the first thing that I know.
    It hurts.

    I can feel dark shapes moving over me, tearing at the flesh on my arms and legs, digging into my body. Sharp things are digging into me.
    It hurts.
    But I can’t move.
    My body won’t move and they keep tearing my flesh. I want to scream, but even that won’t come. I can feel hot tears running down my cheeks, washing furrows in the days of dirt caked on my face.
    I’m so tired. So weak I can’t even move.
    And it hurts.
    I can only look up at the moon with blurry eyes, half hidden behind a great veil of leaves.
    I don’t know how long I’ve been alone on this mountain. I don’t know how long. I can’t remember how long it’s been since my food ran out, since my water ran out. How long did I walk before I fell? How long before I fell again?
    How long before I fell and couldn’t stand up again?
    I rolled over to rest, thinking it would get better. I slept, thinking it would get better. But when I woke up, it was dark, and I couldn’t move, and these things were here.
    I groan, and they don’t care, they just look up at me with red eyes and red-stained teeth and go back to their meal. They’re people like rats, or rats like people. Monsters that lived on the mountain. Even a childlike me knows them. Ratatta. Small, harmless. Like children themselves.
    I want to scream, but my voice won’t come out. So I cry.

    Because I’m being eaten alive.

    I’m being eaten alive. I’m being eaten alive. I’m being eaten alive!
    Things that people keep as pets are eating me alive!
    I cry and scream and rage inside, but my body won’t move no matter what I do.
    So all I can do is stare up at the moon through tear-filled eyes as they tear through my skin with their sharp teeth.

    It’s so sudden I don’t realize it at first.
    Their movements stop. The creatures turn, dark shadows beneath the moon.
    There is a light. There are two moons in the heavens.
    No, a reflection of the moon in heaven is upon the earth.
    The gnawing children hiss and cower, their movements shifting my broken body.
    My crying eyes fall on it.

    A woman who is the moon. As if wrapped silver, as if clothed in water, she is there, a woman carved from the moon. Her eyes are as cold as a distant mountain peak. My breath mists in the air, shallow as it is.
    She says nothing. She does nothing. She merely stands.
    My eyes close to the distant sound of a man’s voice.
    And then, there is only darkness.
    I jolt awake with a start, gasping. I can still feel the pain of sharp teeth digging into me. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I press my right hand to my head.

    It’s been a long time since I had that dream. A long time.
    It’s something I don’t want to remember, something I can never forget. My body, marked by the scars, won’t allow it. My world, filled with monsters, won’t allow it.
    I throw back the sheets to a hot spring day. An unseasonably warm day, like that night so long ago. Though, then, that night had become as cold as ice, too.

    Shit. No wonder it’s hot. The AC’s out again. I sigh as I take in the situation. It’s another hot spring day and the AC’s out. And here I am roasting, with nothing to do about it but all the repairman again.
    It’s not like this is an unusual thing. There’ve been a lot of electrical problems in the neighborhood lately. Yew’s Market down the road had all of their refrigerators go out last week.
    Dad loved it, since they put all the beer on discount.

    A couple of days ago, Mrs. Marker next door had the power go out, too. When the repairman looked into it, he said it looked like the wires had been cut or gnawed on, and he asked if she’d seen anything strange in the neighborhood.

    But in my case, I’m betting on it just being this AC. It was a window mounted unit old enough that my dad had used it in college. It broke down.
    A lot.
    So I’d have to have someone fix it or I’ll melt.
    I pulled on the sweatpants I used as lounge wear, something Imust have pulled off in my sleep, and flipped the light switch.
    Nothing.
    No light.
    “Shit.” So whatever was wrong, it wasn’t the AC. Or at least not just the AC. Silently, I wished it was something I could hit with a baseball bat. Heat like this always makes me angry. I can already feel the sweat dripping.
    I sigh again.
    This was no way to be spending spring break. And besides that, I’m supposed to do something today. Today…

    Today I’m supposed to start my Quest.
    It was a big deal, really. A big coming of age ritual. Not that everyone did it, but since it let you skip a big section of your school career, well… Yeah, a whole lot of people did. It was your senior year, after all. If you had all of your credits, all you really had to worry about was your attendance, and the School Board excused absences like that for cultural or religious reasons.

    Basically, if you did everything right, you could completely skip the last few months of school entirely. But beyond that, it was kind of like social suicide not to do it. Everyone inevitably found out if you skipped it, and since it was the “rite of passage into adulthood,” you were labeled as a late-bloomer, childish, a kid, etc… In other words, it took a long-ass time to live it down.

    But beyond that, I have my own reasons.
    There’s something I have to overcome. A fear that’s had too much control of my life.
    And there’s something I promised myself I would find, something I have to see no matter what.

    “I should get going already.” It’s kind of sad, talking to myself so early in the morning.
    I dig out a pair of carpenter jeans, sturdy but worn in. Besides that is a simple t-shirt, an undershirt, a fresh pair of boxers, and some new boot socks. Laying all that out, I start to get ready.
    As I brush my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, I can still see the faint scars on my arms, stomach, chest. Bite marks that look almost human, the edges torn. It was a long time ago, when that happened. The soft body of a child has filled out into something that I think is probably a little above average. I’m pretty athletic. But even then, the scars are still visible.
    I spit the foam in my mouth out and rinse my toothbrush and gargle some mouthwash.
    And now for a shower.
    Stripped down, I climb in, turn on the water and…
    “HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!?!?” Almost fall out of the tub. Oh my god that’s cold!
    Shit, I forgot. The power’s out.

    Damn electric water heater.
    Short cold shower is short.
    I am officially awake now.

    It doesn’t take long to want to get back into clothes after that experience.
    Nor does it take long to do so.
    “Today is not my day.” I can feel bad luck brewing. If I could, I would skip this whole day and start my Quest tomorrow, but delaying too much can be bad. It’s sometimes hard to find enough “Starters,” these ridiculous things called “Moemon” that are supposed to be your companions and bodyguards as you complete the ritual pilgrimage. They say that if you take too long on the first day of Spring Break, you can miss out and end up delayed for weeks or even months just because they don’t have any Starters trained. The Starters are supposed to be ranch-raised or have a special provision, since they have to understand their “Trainer,” know how to act around people, and be trustworthy and reliable even in dangerous situations.

    I’m not exactly the only person to be attacked by these things in the wild, after all.
    Which is kind of why I need to go through this in the first place, but…
    Shit. I have panic attacks around the damn things. It’s not so bad with my friends’ pets, but when it comes down to it, it’s just really embarrassing. I just lock up when I see one I don’t know, and, well… Yeah.

    I wanted to go on this Quest, more than anything else, sot hat I can get used to seeing and dealing with these things. I’ve spent a lot of my life avoiding them, but that’s really hard to do. You’d be amazed at how often people will pick on you for something like that, even if there’s a good reason. Though I guess that’s why I learned how to beat the crap out of people?

    Fully clothed, I head downstairs to see if I can scrounge some food before everything in the fridge goes bad.
    “What was that sound just now?” My mom asks as I step intothe kitchen.
    “Ah, sorry. I forgot the water would be cold.”
    “No, not you screaming. Do you hear it? Sounds like scratching.” Eh? Hey, wait. I think I can hear it.
    “Sounds like it’s coming from under the house.”
    “Do we have mice? Or rats?” Ugh. That would be bad. Though maybe that’s why the power’s out.
    “Think maybe they chewed the wires or something?” It would explain the thing with Mrs. Marker. Mice and rats chew on things. Though we hadn’t seen any inside the house, so…
    “I’ll check it out. Ah, what are you doing, anyway?” She’s been working away at something the whole time we’ve been talking, but I can’t see just what from here.
    “Hmm? Your starting your Pilgrimage today~! It’s been such along time since I packed your lunch that I thought I could get away with it this time.” She says something embarrassing with a smile too bright to deny.
    “…” What am I supposed to say to this? “Thanks…” Somehow, I know this is going to look very cutesy. I’m slightly scared. Why? Why does my mother insist on making everything she does… cute. Is it because she’s from the illustrious Joy family, known for their widespread influence in the medical and veterinary fields? Almost everything that family does is in shades of pink.

    Including my lunch, I’m sure.

    Right, then. I guess I need to check out this mess with the wiring first. Otherwise I’ll forget it. I head back up to my room, grab thef lashlight from the travel gear I prepped over the past week, my pocketknife, wallet, phone, and keys. And on the way out, I grab one of my bats.

    Yes. I have multiple baseball bats. Aluminum, with nice rubber grips.
    Why?
    I’m a guy that got picked on a lot when I was younger because of a certain aforementioned problem. I did mention I learned how to beat the crap out of people, right? A baseball bat makes a nice club, and people generally don’t bother you too much if you carry one, so long as you also have a ball and a glove.

    It also makes a nice tool to prod critters that are in places they shouldn’t be.

    Thusly armed, I strap on the hiking boots I planned to start my journey in, and proceed to head around back to the maintenance entrance under the house. The sun’s already high in the sky, and I can see clouds looming in the distance over the woods.

    I wonder what time it is, exactly. Looks like around noon. If it is, I slept really late. That’s not such a good thing. Not a lot I can do, though. I’ll have to head out right after I finish this up.

    Huh? That…
    It’s open. The maintenance door is unlatched. Maybe it came open in the last storm? We did have a strong one not too long ago. Or some kids have been messing around in there. That must be how the mice got in. It wasn’t chewed at all, it was just left hanging open.


    Even so… Why do I have a bad premonition?
    Ah! There it is! I can hear scratching to my left as I duck through the low door and stand under the house.
    Hell, there’re spider webs everywhere down here. And it smells musty.
    I heft the flashlight, a heavy one sturdy enough to be used as a club in a pinch, and waterproofed, too.

    The lamp lights up the darkness with the flick of a switch, and I sweep it around the space. I can see bits of torn paper and cloth, like some kind of nest. Shit. There’s nothing I can see moving over there. But holy crap that’s a big nest! Then again, I’ve never really seen a rat’s nest or anything, so maybe this thing is normal sized? How many rats could fit in that?

    I almost don’t want to know, my imagination filling the almost bathtub sized pile of junk with an equal volume of rats.

    I shudder involuntarily. Rats… Yeah, I don’t like mice or rats so much. Not as bad as an actual Ratatta or Raticate, or Moemon, really, but yeah. Bad memories.

    I make my way over to the nest, sweeping the light to help look for anything out of place. I don’t see anything but more junk that looks like it was dragged here.

    No. Wait. Some of this stuff is pretty big. Can rats really move this much cloth? Now that I look at it, what seemed like cloth torn into little bits are actually blankets and sheets that have had holes torn in them. Is it possible for rats to drag an entire blanket down here?

    Am I going to find a homeless person living under my house? This could be really bad.
    This is seriously not my day.
    Something catches my eye. A spark of light that’s not my flashlight, near the back of the house and right under the floorboards.
    “What the hell…” I turn my flashlight upwards. There…There’s a cluster of what looks like thin black threads, wires pulled out from a metal cover. No, there are red ones, green ones, black ones, blue ones, and every so often I can see a little spark jump from one to another.

    “Damnit.” So something really was down here chewing on thewires. Though… With that blanket… Am I going to find some dead loon under my house?

    Wait! Something just moved! Oh shit!
    I swing the light trying to track it, but I lose sight ofit.
    Oh god. This is like a scene from a bad horror movie.There’s seriously going to be some crazy ax murderer down here or something.
    This is so fucking not my day.

    “Chu.” Eh? Behind!
    I swing around, the light sweeping over a shape. My bat’s already raised by the time I register unholy glowing eyes and dancing sparks.
    It’s fucking charging me!
    “CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    “Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! !!”The darkness turns into pure white in a blinding flash as a shape hurtles atme. I can’t tell what it is, but I can feel my hands go numb. My hair’s standing on end, but I grip the rubber wrapped handle of the bat and swing it on reflex.
    There’s a dull sound and my arm jolts, and then it’s on top of me. My mind’s blanked out as it just lays there.
    There is no way in hell this thing is a fucking rat. A heavy body like a person’s is laying on top of me, and even through my clothes I can tell it’s soft.
    “D-did I just kill someone?” Oh god.
    Oh shit.
    I fumble around for the flashlight I dropped in the confusion. My hand closes on the comfortable weight and I turn the beam on myself.

    Pale skin. Bare skin. Lots of it.
    The soft curves of a feminine body. There’s a naked girl ont op of me. A part of my mind thinks I just ascended to heaven, another that I’m already in hell. Then I see it, around the curve of slender hips, there is something that should not be there.

    A tail.

    The beam travels up the body of the thing that is definitely not a girl. Long ears, like a rabbit's, something that could have been confusedfor a hairstyle at first glance stick out of the top of her head. The skin on her forehead is cut from where I hit her, a big bruise already forming, blood trickling out. I can see her eyes twitch beneath her tightly closed lids. It seems like she’s breathing, but her body’s as limp as a sack of rice.
    “Shit.”
    It’s clearly not human. Yet it looks human. This is really awkward. It’s a Moemon.
    As I think that, I remember that night long ago. The things eating me. And yet… As I sit here with this girl sprawled on top of me, inspite of that memory, I can feel my body reacting to it. There’s a naked girl on top of me in a dark place. A girl that’s definitely not human. A girl that just attacked me.

    “Shit.” I say it again because I don’t know what to say. What to do. My mind is telling me I should kill it, or get it out of here and dump it somewhere, or take it to see the Professor. My mind is telling me I should have it checked to see if it’s alright, or if it’s safe to move it after hitting it in the head.
    My body’s telling me something different.
    It’s a damn monster, so why does it smell nice?
    Damnit, I don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing.

    Calm down. Calm down. Deep breaths. I haven’t locked up in fear this time, but that’s probably because I just knocked her senseless. And adrenaline. That too.
    The girl makes a soft noise as I move under her. Damnit, don’t make noises like that.
    I decide the first thing I need to do is get this girl off of me. If she wakes up, and I’m pinned like this… Yeah, bat does no good. Besides, I think she tried to hit me with electricity or something. I quietly give thanks that my bat has a rubber handle. Otherwise, I’d probably be dead.

    Getting her off of me is harder than I expected, but not impossible. She lays in the dirt, her eyes fluttering. Damnit, the only things I can do here are to just drag her out of here and leave her alone, or take her in the house.

    This is going to be trouble either way. If I leave her, she’s probably just going to come back in here. If I take her inside and she wakes up… Or no, even if I take her inside, how will mom react? Hi mom, I found this naked monster girl under the house. What do? Shit.
    Time to swallow awkwardness.

    “Damnit, where do I look?” This girl is completely naked. She’s small. Slender. Almost like a little kid, but definitely not completely.There are little hills, and a patch of hair, or, well, I guess it’s fur in this case. She looks like she might be fourteen at most. At least, if she were a human.
    I have no idea how these things age.
    I try to distract myself from looking at her by thinking about what I know about Moemon. Honestly, I don’t know a lot, so it’s not working too well. Most of the ones I’m used to seeing wear clothes, but in hindsight I realize that that’s probably a matter of human preference. The wild ones… They wouldn’t wear clothes, would they? Well, they might, I guess. Shit, I don’t know.

    “Damnit.” Nothing left to do. I pick the girl up, trying to support her head and her knees. I’m carrying her like a groom would his bride. Somehow, this fact disturbs me greatly. Why the hell should I be carrying a monster like this before I carry a woman? No, not even that, why should the first time I see a girl like this, naked and on top of me, be a monster and nota human?

    I make myself angry to help block out what I’m doing. I carry the girl, whose eyes are shifting under her lids still, out of the dark and into the slowly darkening sky. I don’t know how long I was down there. It seems like an eternity, but it might have been a half hour at most. At least, that’s what I think. Tension makes time seem to flow strangely.

    I hurry around to the back door and take her inside before the neighbors can see. The first words out of my mouth as that door opens are“Mom! Trouble!”
    She looks out of the kitchen with a dangerously pink thermos in hand. Why is she still in the kitchen? Shouldn’t she have finished making lunch a long time ago?
    “Oh no…” Her eyes widen as she sees what’s in my arms. “What happened!?”
    “She was under the house. She jumped at me and I just swung on reflex!” I feel guilty already. Looking at her in the light, it’s hard for me to dismiss the fact that I hit something that looks so much like a young girl in the head with a baseball bat. Even if it is a monster.
    To her credit, my mom knows her way around people and Moemon. As I said, she’s from the Joy family, one of the largest and most influential families in the medical world. She has me prop the girl up on the side of the bathtub and, using my flashlight, we check her eyes, prying them open. Pulse, breathing, pupil dilation, she seems to be fine.
    Except that her head is bleeding and she doesn’t seem to be either fully conscious or unconscious.
    “She might be mildly concussed. It’s hard to tell. Moemon weren’t my specialty in school… Haah… You should probably take her to see Professor Sequoia. He can probably treat her there, since the actual clinic is further away. Really Aurum, did you have to hit her that hard?”
    “She jumped me!” What’s with that withering look?
    “You should hurry up and take her to see the Professor. After all, you had to see him today anyway. We can put her in one of your sister’s old dresses, since she’s off at that camp… thing. Whatever it was.”I t’s not that my mother has a bad memory. It’s that she didn’t find out about it until after it had already been approved by my dad. She’s away on some week-long club thing from school. She doesn’t really talk about it much, but at least it keeps her out of trouble.
    She used to shoplift when she was bored, as embarrassing as that is.
    After we manage to get the little naked girl to stop being naked, I suddenly find myself in an unpleasant situation…
    She’s conscious.
    And not happy.
    We’d dug up an old leash that we used to use for our dog before he ran away, and put that on her to make sure she didn’t bolt, and mom found some old rubber gloves in the shed, but still. I have a small electric girl on a rope, basically.

    And I am now expected to walk this unhappy child to the Research Lab on the outskirts of town. Okay, sure, it’s only a few miles.

    But that’s a few miles attached to a living lightning bolt. At least if my heart stops, they won’t have to look for a defibrillator.

    So, armed with the bat that served me well in the last hour, I finally set out for what should have been the only thing I had to do today.
    And of course, it now looks like it will rain soon.

    I really don’t want to be attached to this girl if it starts to rain. I really might die.

    This… This just isn’t my day.
    Asha Records
    Fuyuki - Winter Cleaning
    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  2. #2
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    Not a bad start, really. This could be promising. Kinda digging this narration, too - not only is it accessible, it also toes the stream-of-consciousness line.

    Subscribing. Why not?
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  3. #3
    Reading the Post Above Laith's Avatar
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    Seems interesting so far. The narration is good.

    Also you do have a couple of typos here and there but nothing too distracting.

    Year 1

    Salt Corner

    Quote Originally Posted by hayate View Post
    He's the exception. We see him swimming in with the
    gold
    good
    waifus.

    He got his share of woes as with other players, but it has been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of different SSRs, both as F2P and P2P.

    I don't even wish to stand beside him as I got 2 consecutive IRs at my work the very same month after I got Jeanne.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gabriulio View Post
    Okay:

    First of all, a big FUCK YOU to everyone who got Holmes
    Second of all, a DOUBLE FUCK YOU at Laith because asahkwbebnfj,hhfshfls;
    Third of all, a TRIPLE FUCK YOU to people who quote Laith's gacha posts. THE WHOLE POINT OF HAVING HIM IN MY IGNORE LIST IS TO PREVENT THIS
    Quote Originally Posted by Aozaki-desu View Post
    fuck laith btw

  4. #4
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    I am bad for typos. Also, since I use Word 7, vBulletin butchers my formatting, so if you see any words missing spacing, it's due to that, and me missing it in editing. I'll probably post another chapter soon. Maybe later today.
    Asha Records
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    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  5. #5
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    [Doctor Freud]

    It’s surprisingly easy to keep the leash on this weird girl. We had the forethought to put a lock on it so that she couldn’t just take it off. From what I’ve seen, most Moemon aren’t that smart by human standards, though it varies a lot from breed to breed.

    For example, I’ve never seen an intelligent Psyduck or Slowpoke before. Despite the powers of the former. That’s actually one reason why people keep them as pets. They’re, well, agreeable.

    And they don’t taze you if you look at them the wrong way.

    Whatever. It doesn’t seem like she can get the leash’s collar off with a combination lock on there, and I so long as I keep the ba tbetween me and her, those nasty shocks she keeps firing go nowhere.

    This is awkward as hell.

    Still, I have to keep pushing her along. Mom said something to me as I was heading out the door about this girl maybe being responsible fo r he power outages in the area. She said it was a Pikachu, or something like that, and that the Moemon Research Facility could both take care of her injury, which now sported a large, x-shaped bandage, and possibly find a good place to release her, far from civilization.
    Apparently, these Pikachu things are attracted to electricity. So it goes in one end and comes out the other, then? Or something like that.

    Shit.

    Whatever, this thing may be cute, and I feel bad for clocking her, but this little troublemaker’s not going to be my problem anymore~.
    I don’t like rats, and according to mom, this thing is the“electric mouse Moemon.”
    This will be the ending of a short friendship.

    I can already see the facility coming into view as I round an old mountain road. I’m just glad they planned ahead and puts lots of space for walking beside these things.

    The building ahead of me is actually a pretty new-looking structure. Or maybe just ahead of its time? The whole thing looks like somebody pulled it from a sci-fi manga, all smooth white walls and huge blue glass windows. It looks so out of place beside the old cracked road. What makes it even more surreal is that it doesn’t even have a real parking lot. It’s just a dirt driveway up the hill from the road and a big stretch of flat, packed down earth.
    “Must be hell getting out of that when it rains.” I mutter it under my breath. The girl in front of me turns, her long ears twitching as she makes a curious noise. It’s probably because it’s the first thing I’ve really said to her in a while.
    Both my mother and I attempted talking to this girl, yet she never responded. It’s like she can’t speak at all. Though, if she’s wild, that might really be the case. She seems like she responds to intentions, or really tone, but that’s about it. And she hasn’t said a thing. The only sounds she makes are curious little noises and that ungodly “CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” noise right before she tries to cook me.

    Is it wrong of me to think of her as Chu, as if it were a name?

    Screw it.

    Like I need to give this girl a name. Our journey ends here, dear companion. From now on, we shall go our separate ways. You, to some forest far removed from a city or town, and me, to a great pilgrimage and a luxurious summer seeing the sites. To say nothing of other, more important, goals. Though…
    “You know, I guess I should thank you.” I say it as I stand at the foot of the drive. “You may not realize it, but I really can’t deal with Moemon. But, well, I did pretty good today because of you. Thanks.” She tilts her head at me with a questioning like, like she’s asking what I’m talking about.
    “Nevermind. It’s not like you can understand me even if I told you.” It was like talking to an animal. Normally, only the ones that were around people for a long time learned to understand speech. Even though Moemon were better at it, and could learn to talk pretty quickly, apparently they weren’t inclined to unless they were owned by somebody.
    It was strange. It was like they didn’t want to have anything to do with human society at all unless they belonged to someone.
    Or, well, maybe that wasn’t so weird.
    “I’ve got a bad feeling.” I said it even though I wasn’t expecting an answer. Up on that hill, I realized it.
    “It’s too empty.” There were only a handful of cars parked up here. There were even fewer bikes. “Shit.”
    I’m too late, aren’t I? There’s too few signs of people up here, which means that I missed the rush.
    “Did I miss it already?” It’s a hollow hope. I can feel the dread already. Starters… There are only ever a limited number of them. So people get there early. I’d set my clock this morning, but… Power outage. I sigh. And even after that, there was the rest of the mess this girl caused.
    Starters… Starters are always Stage Ones. They have two Evolutions, with the third stage being something considered to be almost legendary in power. You aren’t allowed to have a Moemon for a Starter unless it’s a Stage One. But tame Stage One’s are hard to come by. They have to be raised in captivity to accept humans. However, most Moemon don’t reproduce that quickly, and then there’s the initial training, learning speech and writing ,basic etiquette, all that. That means that they’re in high demand, but it takes a long time to prepare them for service. Really, it’s something that I don’t even want to think about, the amount of time and money that goes into a process like that… Especially since people literally give them away.

    Maybe there’s some kind of charity tax write off at work there, or something? Law and economics aren’t exactly my specialties.

    I’ve been steadily walking towards the building, my bat gently guiding the living battery, but now I step out beside her, and pray she doesn’t cook me. I hook my fingers around the handle and pull, noting the building's hours. Seven days a week, seven in the morning till six in the afternoon. Not bad hours, but the Professor isn’t here all that time, I’ll bet. At least, not unless he lives here, anyway.

    As I feared, the lobby’s deserted. Only a lone receptionist at the front desk, a tired-looking young woman with a cup of coffee sitting beside her computer.
    “Umm… Excuse me.”
    “Hmmm. Ah! Welcome. How may I help you?”
    “Well… Two things, I guess. I found this thing chewing on the wires under my house…”
    “Ah, an electric mouse-type. Was there something specific you had in mind?”
    “Ummm… Well, she kind of attacked me, and I hit her pretty hard, so I was wondering if someone might need to take a look at that. And after that, I need to know what to do with her. Return her to the wild, send her to a shelter, something like that.”
    “I see… Well, we can give her a basic check up, and we can return her to the wild if you’d like. Sending them to a shelter’s rarely a good idea though. Honestly, if you caught her under your house, you could probably just set her loose in a nearby field and she’d be fine. Normally, we charge a small fee for serious troublemakers that need to be taken further out from civilization.” Uhhh… Money’s not a good thing.
    “I’ll just let her go myself then.”
    “Was there anything else you needed?”
    “Besides the check up, I’m also here to start my Quest.”
    “Eh? You’re a bit late, you know.” Urgh.
    “How late?” Please not too late, please not too late, please not too late, please not too late.
    “We opened our doors at six this morning to help prevent the annual buildup. It usually takes about eight hours to run through all of the Starters and the paperwork involved, less for male applicants, since more boys take the Quest than girls.” Ah, urgh…
    “What time is it?”
    “About three in the afternoon.” Shit.
    “So you’re all out of Starters already?” Please say no. Please say you still have at least one.
    “Mmm. Not quite. But, well… I think in this case you should discuss it with the Professor directly.” Is this a shining ray of hope in the darkness?

    I follow the directions the receptionist jotted down for me and find myself standing outside a closed door. I can hear the sound of machinery on the other side, and what sounds like voices, but I can’t tell. I knock on the door, but there’s no answer.

    Deciding that time is of the essence, and dragging my surprisingly complacent Chu, I open the unlocked door and head inside. Banks of machines that look eerily futuristic create a corridor of blinking lights, glowing panels, and flickering displays. After a while, I come to another door. Opening that, too, I find myself in a wide open room.
    “Yes! Oh God, yes! There! There! Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhh!” What the hell did I just walk into? No, even the girl beside me has a dumbfounded look. If she responds to tone, then…
    I’m blushing. She’s blushing. And we’re both looking at a massive monitor at the lefthand side of the room, in which two creatures are happily screwing.
    I say creatures since they’re clearly not human, and yet I don’t recognize what type of Moemon they are. One is blue and very muscular looking and very male, the other pink and curvy in all the right places.
    “Excuse me.”
    “Yes! Harder… Fuck me harder!”
    “EXCUSE ME!”
    “Eh? Oh, sorry.” The man who’d been glued to the screen turns around, a remote in his hand lowering the volume.
    Not turning it off. Just lowering the volume.
    “Now this is a surprise. I don’t normally get visitors in here.” Obviously.
    He’s tall, even sitting down I can tell that. He has a brown complexion, speaking of warm lands in the south. His hair is a mass of thick curls, though tighter than my own, and his face shows a five o’clock shadow. I can tell he has good features, and he’s a lot younger than I expected. Definitely. He looks like he might only be in his late twenties. He’s the kind of person that would probably do really well as a host or something, just by his looks.
    “Welcome to my humble office. The name’s Professor Nico Sequoia. So, what can I do you for?” Please don’t say something like that while that kind of video is playing.
    “Umm… First, can you turn that off?”
    “Why? It’s just a nature documentary.” No, any way you look at it, that’s just porn.
    “’The Mating Habits of the Nido.’ Quite interesting, really.There aren’t many species of Moemon where there’s such a clear gender dimorphism. No, even the fact that they’re considered two different Breeds is…”
    “Wait, no. I really don’t want to get onto this kind of topic.”
    “Really? But it’s a really interesting topic! Ahhh, but I guess you probably had a reason for coming here. It’s not like anyone ever just comes to chat…” I see it, a look of despair and loneliness.
    “Erm, oh well. What was it you needed to see me about, Mr.…”
    “Birch. Aurum Birch. Actually, there were two things Ineeded to talk to you about. First of all, I wanted to ask you to give this Pikachu a check-up. She was chewing on the wires under my house, and, well, one thing led to another and I wound up knocking her out.”
    “Ah, well, if she’s up and moving, then there’s probably not any serious damage. The biggest worry would be if she’d stayed unconscious for an extended period of time. I can give her a basic once over, but Moemon are remarkably resilient. Odds are, if you had hit a human with the same force you did this girl, they’d be dead. Oh, and also, that’s not a Pikachu. That’s a Pichu.” Eh?
    “And the difference is?”
    “Hmm. A Pichu is a Stage One, a Pikachu is a Stage Two. Basically, a Pichu evolves into a Pikachu once it develops enough. Actually, I handed out a few Pichu’s today.”
    “Ah, that’s the other thing! I was going to start my quest today!”
    “Ha, erm… Hmmm… That could be a bit of a problem there. You see, I’m out of qualified Starters.”
    “But the receptionist said that you might still have some left.”
    “Well, technically I do, but… Well, they’re probably not suited for you.”
    “Why not?”
    “Well, they’re all male.”
    “Eh?”
    “Fewer young women choose to take the ritual of the Moemon Quest than do young men. So, each year, we end up with a few leftover male Starters, and a few boys who have to wait until more suitable partners.”
    “Why should that be a problem?”
    “Hm? So you’re like that?” He rummages through his files, looking for a folder. “I don’t see anything like that in here…” He flips through one in particular.
    “Hey, what is that? And what do you mean ‘like that’?”
    “Ah, this… This is your personal record. You probably filed some information with us beforehand, correct? In order to make sure we aren’t handing over a precious life to someone who won’t properly care for it, we check the backgrounds of Quest Applicants thoroughly. We look for any outstanding problems, such as acts of unprovoked violence or mental disorders, or for health conditions that could put either themselves or their partner at risk. It’s not like just anyone can go on a Quest anymore, you know.”
    “Huh. I guess that makes sense. So you have a lot of my personal information in there?” This was actually a little scary, to think that somebody I never met before has access to my private information without me even knowing it. “Ah, but what did you mean, saying I’m ‘like that?’”
    “Ah well… You do know what the Quest is, right?” Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling? Another premonition.
    “It’s an ancient coming of age ritual, right? You go on a pilgrimage to at least eight Gyms to prove that you’re an adult with a companion Moemon. You prove your worth to the Gym Leaders through fighting your Moemon, and any others you can catch or tame, against theirs, and if they consider you worthy, they give you a Badge that proves they acknowledged you as an adult.” I remember my friend Chris, who probably started his Quest that morning. That blue-haired idiot had said ‘Tomorrow, I’ll finally become a man!’with such an angelic smile on his face. It didn’t look right with his piercings.

    “Ah, well, I guess that’s technically true. But to a lot of people that’s really just a side thing.” Huh?
    “Basically, it’s all about sex.” He says this as the Moemon porn continues to play. Something tells me this man has a biased viewpoint.
    “Wut?” Even the mouse girl beside me is looking at him like he’s strange. That, and her ears keep twitching every time somebody moans in that damn video.
    God this is embarrassing.
    Her eyes look like they’re going to fall out of her head. I hope I don’t look like that.

    “Basically. Well, let me explain it like this. The modern Moemon Quest is mostly derived from a Rite of Passage ritual from the Kantoregion, though it includes elements from other cultures as well. Since time immemorial, mankind has lived alongside Moemon. Sometimes they’ve been seen as animals, other times they’re gods, demons, or spirits. Still other cultures believed they were just people who looked different, but since they disdain human culture and society, those were fairly rare. Regardless, people adapted to them, and they adapted to us. Many cultures developed Rites of Passage that involved Moemon. Common ones included taking long journeys with a single Moemon partner, fighting a Moemon directly, hunting and capturing a Moemon, or even making ritual offerings to a specific individual or type of Moemon. These rituals were normally performed by young boys and girls as they first entered puberty. Do you know why?”
    “I’m afraid to ask.”
    “Traditionally, these Rites required a Moemon of the opposite gender so that the youth could have intercourse with it.”
    “Uhhhhhhhh…” ‘Tomorrow, I will finally become a man.’
    “I… See…”
    “Are you sure you want a male Starter? We can do that, though it might be a little hard to find one that shares your interests.”
    “Ummm. No thanks. That’s fine.” No. Not only do I not want that, something like that will automatically become public knowledge. Everyonewill think the exact same thing the Professor did. It wouldn’t be a big deal if that was really the case, but I’m interested in girls.
    “Wait, was what you said about sex with the Starters… Was that common knowledge?”
    “Fairly. Modern society’s a bit prudish, so they tend to remove all of that from the history lessons. Really though, most of those traditions were meant to be Rites of Passage into adulthood through one’s first sexual act and by learning to live in harmony with someone different from yourself, not through being recognized as an adult by some official. Even the Gyms themselves were originally nothing more than rest areas built near sacred sites that people were expected to visit on their journeys. Somewhere along the way though, the focus shifted from ‘personal, spiritual, and sexual growth and discovery’ to ‘battling for prizes.’ It’s really kind of tragic.”
    “But… But why Moemon? Why not just do that with… with another human?”
    “Hmmm? I can’t fully explain the reasoning behind a tradition that dates back thousands of years, Mr. Birch. All I can say is that, if you consider it, Moemon are very powerful. It would be hard for a person to defend themselves if one attacked, and certainly not against more powerful Breeds. If one were going to go on a long journey, they’d need a trusted ally to protect them. Even better if that companion happens to be a lover, and even more so if one’s pairings have no risk of conception.”
    “So then… That’s why. That’s why it’s so popular among men, but not so much women.”
    “So it would seem.” This is fucked up.
    “So in other words, I was supposed to have my first time with a monster girl.”
    “Pretty much, though of course a lot of people are active long before that. Really, with the legal age getting pushed back, the Quest Rite itself has become almost totally distorted from its original purpose. Most cultures, the Quest would start at between ages ten and twelve, sometimes younger or older. It was usually around the time the child had their first period or ejaculation.”
    The Professor sighs.
    “Anyway, most youngsters today find out from their relatives or internet research that the Rite originally had strong sexual elements, so I usually don’t have to explain anything to them. Every so often I find one that doesn’t know yet, though, so I get to give them ‘the Talk.’”
    He looks me in the eyes as he speaks now.
    “So, what’ll it be? You sure you want to wait? I’ve got a pretty good selection of males left. I can check and see if any are interested. After all, it might be months before we have any more females in, and you’ll be competing with the other late comers for them. Heh, to be honest, if you trusted that little girl there, and she could speak, I could probably certify you now.”
    “Ah, no… She’s wild. Like I said, I caught her under my house. And she doesn’t seem to speak. Besides…” No, she’s definitely cute, but I really need to figure this out. Normally, just being around something like her freaks me out. The idea of doing that with her… I mean, even that weirdness aside, I can’t talk to this girl, and on our first meeting I hit her in the head with a baseball bat hard enough to knock her out. There’s no way she’d be willing to journey with me, let alone have sex. “I’m not really sure how I feel about this right now. I… I guess put me on the waiting list.” Shit.
    “Alright, but remember that’ it’s ‘first come, first serve.’ We’ll send you a message in advance when we have some new Starters confirmed for arrival.” I sigh. “Thanks.” It’s a hollow sounding thank you.
    “So then, you wanted me to take a look at this girl?
    I nod as Professor Sequoia finally stands up from his rolling chair. The mouse girl looks like she’s about to bolt, I’m just not sure what kind.
    “Alright then, let’s have a look at the little cuteyheeeyyyaaaaiaiaiaiaiaiaiahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH HH.” Ah, it seems she opted for the electrical kind. I could actually see the sparks jump from her face straight into his hand. The Professor flops around on the floor like a landed fish, limbs jerking, and I have no idea how to help, or even if it’s safe for me to let go of her leash.
    “Ummm… What should I do to help?”
    “N-n-n-not-hi-hingahaha. I-I-I’m us-s-s-sed to th-hi-hi-his. I-I-I-t’s j-j-j-j-just l-l-li-kuh s-st-n g-n.” Ummm…
    “It’s just like a stun gun? Wait, does that mean you’re usedto being hit with a stun gun!?!?”
    “Y-y-y-ye-eah.” Pervert. This man is definitely a pervert. I think you did the right thing, Chu. Is it even safe to let him look at her?
    “So… Maybe I should help, since I have rubber gloves?”
    “Th-th-that w-would be g-g-good.” Ah, he’s not twitching as much. His body finally relaxes, even though it still looks painful.
    “Ha-ah… B-basically I just need to look at her wound, check her pupils, pulse, and breathing. A-anything more than that is going to require taking her to the Clinic. I don’t keep vaccinations on hand. Normally, if you were just letting her go, I’d recommend that you have her vaccinated, but I can’t force you. It’ll be an out of pocket expense if you do, anyway.” Urg. Money again. I’d saved up quite a bit for my trip, but I have a feeling that kind of thing won’t be cheap.

    “Now then. Hmmm… We can’t get that dress off of her so long as she has that leash on. This… This could be a problem.”
    “I’m not letting this leash go. What are we going to do if she gets loose?”
    “Run. Run fast.” That’s not reassuring at all. “Well then, if you won’t take the leash off of her, we’re going to have to lift that thing high enough that I can get a stethoscope to her chest. Since you have the gloves, I’ll let you handle that, Mr. Birch.” I can feel my face heating up already. I’m going to be seeing this girl naked again? No, will I even survive that? We got this thing on her while she was punch-drunk. What happens when she’s aware we’re messing with her?
    No, actually, I’m pretty sure I just witnessed what happens.
    Oh god, I’m going to die. No amount of rubber gloves will save me from what’ll happen if I do this.
    “Hey, wait. Can’t you just listen over the fabric? That thing’s pretty thin.”
    “Ah, but where’s the fun in that?” Chu… You have my permission to shock him again.
    “Hey, is it even safe to touch her with that thing? Won’t it conduct electricity straight into your ears or something?”
    “Urk…”
    A moment of silence.

    “You owe me.” The Professor gives me a firm nod.
    “Hrm. Old habits. Not many people bring wild Pichu’s in here. Actually, I don’t see wild Moemon very often at all, except for the ones that wander around the grounds in the morning and evening. And they usually stay far from humans. To be honest, most of my work is academic anyway.” Oh boy.
    “Let me guess, Moemon mating practices?”
    “How’d you know?”
    “Just a lucky guess.” Damn pervert.
    “Haaah… This is troublesome. I don’t think I can do any of the normal procedures here. She’s just standing here, but… Hey, can you at least get that bandage off her, so I can look at the site?”
    “I can try.” Gloves, don’t fail me now.
    I reach out my fingers to her forehead slowly. Her eyes are following my hand as the distinctive purple glove touches the padded bandages.They’re supposed to have an ‘ouchless’ adhesive, something that comes off easily, but I’m really wishing I could just splash her with water first to loosen it. Then again, that would probably piss her off just as bad as yanking this off.

    I take a deep breath and start to gently tug on the first flap. She’s watching my hand as I peel it off of her, and she’s leaning back, but she’s not shocking me. Yet.
    Maybe realizing what I’m trying to do, she raises a hand. I can feel my heart stop. It only starts again as the mouse girl starts to pull on another strand.
    “Ah! That’s good! She’s helping you.” Or maybe she just wants to get this weird thing off her head and knows we won’t stop her now? The white bandage is off soon enough, revealing a big purple swelling.
    “Ouch.”
    “Boy, that’s quite a hit. You said a baseball bat did this?”
    “Ah, yeah. This one.” I point at the thing I’ve been carrying with me all day.
    “No kidding. You do realize that would have killed a human being, right? You’re really lucky you hit this girl and not some neighborhood kid.”
    “Urk!” I’d definitely be a murderer then. “But there was this bright flash and this red-eyed thing came rushing at me! What was I supposed to do?”
    “Run. Or, well, if that wasn’t possible, I guess you did the right thing. But still. I guess you’re really lucky, Mr. Birch. That flash was probably an electric shock. If that bat didn’t have an insulated grip…”
    “Yeah, I figured that much out afterwards.”
    “Hmmm. Well, just from here, it doesn’t look like there’s any skeletal damage, though I won’t be able to tell without an x-ray. Still, I wouldn’t trust a wild Moemon to that kind of procedure. It really just looks like bruising and swelling. I think I have some Potion Spray on hand, which should solve that problem.”
    “Eh? Potion Spray?”
    “Ah, you haven’t heard of it? It’s a pharmaceutical made specifically for Moemon. I’m not privy to the details, but it somehow stimulates their natural healing mechanisms. It can allow them to heal from minor injuries almost immediately, though if there’s bone damage, there’s the threat of a fracture healing badly. Since that doesn’t seem to be the case here, it should be fine. Oh, and you might want to get her something to eat afterwards. It seems like this stuff makes them hungry.” Such a ridiculously convenient thing actually exists? It’s like snake oil that actually works.
    “Ah, so, that doesn’t work on people, right?”
    “Nah. There’s a lot about Moemon physiology that we simply don’t know. For example, what we know about physics, aerodynamics, and flight mechanics tell us that most bird-type Moemon shouldn’t be able to fly. But they can. How? no one knows. It’s one reason why my profession even exists. We don’t know why or how they do what they do, or even how they exist in some cases. It’s no wonder the ancients ascribed so many myths and legends to them. To be honest, I’m a little surprised there aren’t more people that worship them in this day and age.” He says this with an odd smile.
    “Anyway, I’ll be right back. You keep an eye on her until then.”
    “Sure.” This shouldn’t be too hard. She’s been pretty well behaved so far. She even did her civic duty and discouraged a pervert. I think.

    I turn back around when I feel a strange tug on the leash.
    “Eh? She sat down?” The mouse girl plopped herself down in the Professor’s office chair. Actually, I might have done that. It looks comfy. And besides, there’s always that faint impulse to roll around in those things.S he slides down in the chair until her feet touch the cold tile floor. She looks almost like she’s about to fall asleep, or slide right out of the chair like that.
    Hey, wait…
    One slender hand creeps up to the band around her neck, her fingers sliding under it.
    “Hey, what are you…” Too late. She kicks off, her little feet pushing the chair around with me chained to it. In that lazy, relaxed position, she barely has to move to roll the chair around the room with ease, and with her hand under the band, it won’t choke her even if it’s at full extension.

    She’s smiling as she drags me around the room. I can’t let go or she’ll run away inside the building. So all I can do is keep up with an inhumanly fast and strong little monster on wheels.
    I hate you.

    She’s rolling in circles, jerking me around the room with that same wicked little smile on her face. The circles keep getting tighter and tighter.
    And then I feel it.
    Around my legs, tangling. The leash, she’s wrapping it around my legs!

    “Oh shit!” Vertical becomes horizontal as I trip over the leash, dragging the chair over. Needless to say, the girl comes with it.
    “Goufff!?!” Ahhh, shit! The little brat landed on me so hard she knocked the air out of me with a sound like a Mobile Suit. This… This is not a good position to be in. There is a living stun gun sitting on my chest, staring into my face not three inches away.
    Those eyes, green in this light. Those eyes like emeralds.Those eyes are telling me ‘my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, now prepare to die!’
    It’s such a quiet sound. Almost gentle.
    “Chu~”
    Something soft touches my forehead.
    OHMYGODITHURTSMAKEITSTOPMYBRAINISONFIREIFEELLIKEIJ USTSWALLOWEDALIVEWIREOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    End Transmission.
    Asha Records
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    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  6. #6
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    Well, that's to be expected. On all counts.

    Still liking Aurum's internalizations. The reveal about Sequoia was a fun, humorous touch. Should've seen that one coming too, come to think of it.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  7. #7
    Reading the Post Above Laith's Avatar
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    Man forgot that Pichu even existed (and he was my main in Melee, I feel shame.) Hilarious so far.

    Year 1

    Salt Corner

    Quote Originally Posted by hayate View Post
    He's the exception. We see him swimming in with the
    gold
    good
    waifus.

    He got his share of woes as with other players, but it has been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of different SSRs, both as F2P and P2P.

    I don't even wish to stand beside him as I got 2 consecutive IRs at my work the very same month after I got Jeanne.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gabriulio View Post
    Okay:

    First of all, a big FUCK YOU to everyone who got Holmes
    Second of all, a DOUBLE FUCK YOU at Laith because asahkwbebnfj,hhfshfls;
    Third of all, a TRIPLE FUCK YOU to people who quote Laith's gacha posts. THE WHOLE POINT OF HAVING HIM IN MY IGNORE LIST IS TO PREVENT THIS
    Quote Originally Posted by Aozaki-desu View Post
    fuck laith btw

  8. #8
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    This is hilarious and nice.
    Serious props, Twelveseal.

    Looking forward to the possible rival. X'D
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  9. #9
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    Ah, the rival is actually still in the works. And OP as hell, from my understanding of it. The setting doesn't use standard Starter rules in that anything with two Evolution stages can be one.

    Like Ghosts. And Dragons.
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    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  10. #10
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Welp, that sucks for the MC.
    Better hope he gets a Ghost, Dark, Dragon, or Ice at some point or another. XP
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  11. #11
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    We'll have to wait and see. The Rival and Maul are really powerful, but you never know what Aurum and the others might be able to pull~
    Asha Records
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    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  12. #12
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Maul? o.o
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  13. #13
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    I'll leave that as a mystery for now~
    Asha Records
    Fuyuki - Winter Cleaning
    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  14. #14
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twelveseal View Post
    I'll leave that as a mystery for now~
    I'm picturing a Pawniard->Bisharp. Because Darth Maul. XP
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  15. #15
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    [Use as Directed]
    “Looks like you two are having fun.”
    I feel a great weight upon my chest, as if the judgment of all my past sins has been laid upon me. As my mind slowly climbs back from the black abyss to the tune of a certain old Metallica song, I begin to realize that the mouse from hell is still sitting on my chest.
    “H-h-h-h-how l-l-l-lo-long w-was I o-o-out?” Oh god, I can’tmove. Everything hurts everywhere. I hurt in places that should never hurt. I hurt in places that I didn’t know could hurt. How the hell did you walk after this, you damn, perverted, bastard. How the hell do you get used to this?
    “I have no idea, Mr. Birch. But I was only gone for about ten minutes, so probably not very long at all.” Oh my god. I think I experienced the kiss of death.
    Wait… Kiss? That soft sensation that became hell… Did she seriously kiss me to do that? And her reactions so far… If my memory would stop sizzling, maybe I’d remember. It seemed like there was something… Some reaction she’d had….

    Did this girl actually understand what they were saying?

    Nah. No way. She wouldn’t have done this if she knew we were helping her, right? Right?

    “Really though, you shouldn’t go playing with my chair.” Sequoia says this as he rights the overturned chair. He doesn’t even try to get the girl off of me. In his hand is what looks, for all the world, like a can of some kind of antiseptic.
    “H-hey, a-a-aren’t you going t-to get her off of me?”
    “Nope.”
    “HEY!”
    “What do you expect me to do? Walk over there and end up getting shocked, too? You’ll get up when she decides you can. I’d try luring her with something to eat, but I don’t have anything on hand right now. At least, not unless I go steal one of my assistants’ lunches. Though maybe it should be an intern instead? Anyway, try not to move too much.”
    He says this as he shakes the small can as he walks over to us.
    “Now this may sting a bit.”
    “OH GOD NO WAIT!!” There’s a faint hiss as a thin, white, medicine-scented spray flies out of the nozzle and onto the big, tender-looking knot on this girl's head.
    “CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Floating.
    I feel like I’m floating. I’m in a dark place and there’s strange white text informing that this is a Bad End. There’s a curry-loving person dressed as a teacher and a strange cat-thing here. For some reason, this place scares me.
    I should leave this place now, and go back to where I was.
    I seem to be having trouble finding the correct key. Ah! Here it is! Load saved game. There we go! And…

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODTHIIIIIISSSSSSSHUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSWHYDOESSUCHAPAINEVENEXISTINTHISWORLDWHATPU RPOSEDOESITSERVEISTHEREANYREASONREALLYIMEANREALLYW HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYY

    I faintly recognize that I’m screaming. I also recognize that the Professor is screaming too. It seems he was too close.
    The fact that there is a part of my mind that is coherent enough to recognize this fact could either be proof that I am still alive, or that I am already dead. That could be my soul over there informing my body that I’m not actually dying alone. Somehow, I feel worse that the person dying beside me is a pervert. This may lessen the worth of my already senseless death somehow.
    I realize that the fact that I was killed by a monster girl with no panties sitting on top of me probably already does this, but still…
    Also, is it just me, or does it smell like bacon in here?
    Oh wait…

    “Ah, the Professor’s doing something perverted again!” A female voice. The voice of an angel. The voice of salvation.
    “H-H-H-HELP!!!”
    “Ah, it’s not just him this time?”
    I force my spasming muscles to obey me as much as I can.
    “WILD…PI…CHU…SHOCK…US!” Screw grammar, get this girl off me!
    “HELP!!!”
    “Ah, hold on then.” Oh god, please hurry.
    It seems like some of the interns heard the screams. At first they thought it was just more of the Professor watching his ‘research’ videos, but with it going on like that, they decided to send some poor unfortunate soul to check it out.
    Apparently, they decided with Rock, Paper, Scissors. Loser had to go check. Some emergency assistance from the interns, a sacrificed lunch, and some special equipment later, and both myself and the pervert are safely freed from the clutches of certain death.

    Apparently, that spray really does work, and it really does make Moemon hungry. Not only is that lump completely gone, she utterly destroyed a foot long sub sandwich. And is still acting hungry.

    Anyway. I am now happily leaving this place, for which I now have nothing but horrifying memories. As I’m leaving though a voice calls out to me.
    “I’m glad to see you’re improving. There’s hope yet.” The Professor says something strange.
    “What do you mean?”
    “Like I said, we check the personal information of the applicants. Ordinarily, there’s no way I’d let someone with moephobia start their Quest. There’s no way someone like that could properly care for their partner. But since you came here with that girl, I thought I’d give you a chance. You know, it didn’t really seem like you had a problem at all to me. No, even more than that, bringing a wild one like her here when you didn’t have to shows your concern. So I’ll be happy to put you on the waiting list.”

    “Ah.” I still don’t really know how I feel about that. Even more than before, I can recognize that human beings can’t deal with something like this alone. The idea of me traveling alone and running across something like this girl in the wild is horrifying.
    And beyond that, the knowledge that it all just started as away for people to get laid is kind of… Yeah. Well, no. I guess it wasn’t just that. But I think that’s what that Ero-Prof. meant. It was a lot more, but now it’s really just that and a bunch of pointless fighting.

    I sigh.

    I knew today wasn’t my day.

    “Thanks.” I say it and wave goodbye to the pervert.

    “C’mon you. I need to find somewhere good to let you loose before the rain hits.” I look up at the darkening sky. It’ll get dark soon with that cloud cover. I want to be back home by them. I don’t need to add getting soaked to the day’s list of misfortunes. I didn’t even bother to get my jacket when I left home. Shit.
    The mouse-girl seems to be a bit more compliant now, even though she still seems hungry. Maybe I should stop on the way and get her something to eat? It’s not like I have any place in mind to let her go at.
    I head back the way I came. I’m not even bothering to keep the bat between us anymore. If she’s going to shock me, she’s going to shock me. Right now, I just feel depressed and confused. Things weren’t the way I thought they were. Now that I know how they are, I need to decide if that’s what I really want.
    I mean, sure, I’m on the waiting list. And the Professor did state that the current nature of the Quest isn’t what it was really meant to be about. I guess there’s really nothing stopping me from doing that kind of thing the old fashioned way. I mean, what I’m looking for here is more the ‘personal and spiritual growth’ part. And then there’s that thing… I still want to see it, if I can. I want to know what that thing really was.

    “Haaaah… I guess I’m really not ready to give up just yet.” This was a blow, but not a fatal one. I’ll recover. I take a few deep breaths and try to get my spirit up. I slap my cheeks a couple times. Osu!
    “I’m definitely not ready to give up yet!” I yell it, making Chu jump on the roadside path. She looks at me with an annoyed expression.
    “Hah, you can look at me like that all you want! It won’tchange a thing!” That’s right! If I can stand up to one of these things, then I can do it with others! I won’t let today get me down!
    “Ahhh… But anyway, I guess I have to thank you again. If it hadn’t been for you, it looks like I would have been written off. So, in honor of your great contribution, and because you’re probably still hungry from that spray stuff, I’m going to buy you something to eat! I just don’t know what yet.” She’s a mouse right? Mice like cheese, right?

    It can’t be that easy.

    The look she gives me as I announce my intentions is a strange thing. I can’t make sense of it. It’s like it’s a conflicted or confused look, but it’s somehow complicated. It’s strange to see something that isn’t human making a face like that. Her eyes move back and forth strangely,almost like she’s thinking of something, but of course she doesn’t say anything.

    “Damn, this’d be a lot easier if I knew what you liked to eat.” That said, I decide to stop at a convenience store on the way back and pick up some snacks. I don’t know what she likes, but mice will eat almost anything. And seriously, she was chewing on my house's wiring. In hindsight, I probably should have asked what Pichus eat.
    Well… She ate a sandwich, so… I pick up a bunch of premade sandwiches at a convenience store on the way back into town, and also a pack of hardboiled eggs. The eggs are mine. They may be high in cholesterol, but I’m actually in pretty good health, so I can afford to eat these things. I take the food outside and sit down on an old wooden bench behind the building. It’s like a patio out here, but the bench is carved with all kinds of different things, marks left by travellers rather than art.
    The silent girl sits down across from me, reminding me of how human she seems. But she just stares at me, not saying anything. Those deep green eyes are kind of creepy. I wonder what goes on behind those eyes…

    To take my mind off those thoughts, I open a pack of sandwiches. Turkey and swiss on rye. The sandwiches are cut into triangular halves, so that there are two sandwiches in each pack. I take one out and take a bit out of it, and then push the container with the other three in it to her. I keep on eating the thing in my hand that pretends to be a good sandwich while she tentatively handles the other three. I can hear her stomach growling.
    It’s kind of surprising to think that she eats like a human. I don’t know why that is, but it feels that way. Even if she’s built like a human, I somehow imagined her just shoving her face into the food.
    Ah. She took a bite and made a face that describes the taste failure of the sandwich perfectly.
    “I know it’s not very good. But at least you’re not the only one eating it.” I take another bite of food fail.
    “You know, in hindsight, this day has probably been as bad for you as it has been for me. You had some crazy guy with a bat barge into your house and knock you out, kidnap and drag you around in front of a pervert on a leash, spray some weird chemical thing on you, and now he’s feeding you shit that pretends to be food.” She looks at me with her head tilted sideways, the sandwich still in her mouth. They may be nasty, but she’s eating them pretty fast. I’d better open another pack soon.
    Next up is ham and cheddar on white. As I finish the first round of torture, I take my piece of the second. Down the hatch you unholy thing.

    I pull a couple bottles of water out of the bag and set themon the table. I crack open one for me and one for her, and drink from it to show her how. I have no idea if this girl knows how to drink from a bottle or not.
    If she didn’t know how, she learns fast, at least, as soon half the bottle’s empty. I vaguely realize that neither of us has actually eaten or had anything to drink yet today. Or used the bathroom. That… that could be trouble. I can’t send this girl into the ladies room. And if I try to take her into the bushes, I’ll be cooked for sure. No, how will I even know she needs to go? Will she just go, or what?

    I’m in for trouble soon, aren’t I? This day isn’t over yet.

    Ah, she’s already through with the ham sandwiches. Beef’s next. I don’t even know what cheese is on the damn thing, I just open it and let her at it. I don’t even bother to grab one, since by this point it seems like she’s trusting the food I give her.
    All that’s left for me to eat are my glorious eggs. Delicious chicken eggs.

    Reaching back into the bag, I pull out the last item while she’s demolishing the roast beef sandwiches. Tearing the pack open I grab an egg and take a bite. The smooth texture of the white, the crumbling texture of the yolk.
    Why is she staring at me like that?
    I take another bite, watching her.

    A strange thing. I see a strange thing.

    As I open my mouth, so does she. As if she were eating the egg. This is strangely cute. And yet… They’re my eggs, damnit. I finish my egg while being assaulted by sad eyes.

    Ah yes. That technique is powerful. A universal attack possessed by all females and cute things. It’s somehow related to Ghost Rider’s Penance Stare, but infinitely more powerful. It can make you suffer even for sins you didn’t commit, after all.

    Damnit, I’m going to end up giving you my eggs, aren’t I?
    You’re evil incarnate. EVIL!
    I pull another egg out of the pack.
    She repeats that same gesture, of miming eating my egg.
    “Are you sure you’re not just a girl in a costume? Are you sure you can’t understand me?” She tilts her head and looks at me funny.
    “Hah… Nevermind. You can have some.” I give up. I reach over the table with the egg, offering my sacrifice to the ‘thunder goddess’ like what that pervert was talking about. “Eh?”
    Something soft brushes my fingers. Her small mouth opened wide and took a bite without even bothering to take it out of my hand. Her lips brush against my fingers as the girl literally eats out of the palm of my hand.
    There’s little crumbs of yolk around her mouth, but she looks happy. That… I wonder if she’d do that again?
    I take another one. There are four left, including this one. Hmmm. Wait… Heh. I’m hungry, so this one’s mine. I pop it into my mouth whole before her eyes can attack me. As she starts to glare at me though, I present her with the next one.
    She graciously accepts this offering just like the first. Damn… This is kind of…
    I’m giving her the next one too. It’s kind of sad, but this is nice to watch. I can eat again later. She eats the last eggs in the same way and finishes her water. Before long, I find myself with a bag of trash.
    “Let’s see. Plastics go over here. Paper over here…” I sort everything out according to the bins.
    She still looks kind of annoyed at me, but at least it’s not like it was. I can live with that mildly annoyed stare. It’s almost a resigned look.
    “Anyway, since that’s done, I guess I just need to find somewhere to let you go, huh? Any preferences?” Again, no answer coming. Why do I keep talking to her? Am I really so hard up for company that I’ll talk to a girl that can’t understand me? If I am, isn’t that even more depressing? Ah hell, where’s that spirit I had before?
    Anyway, I decided I’d let her loose in a field not too far from where I found her. That is to say, not too far from my house. We lived on the outskirts of a suburb with the woods not far behind our yard. She should befine in that area. Right?
    I just hope she doesn’t decide to come back and gnaw on the wiring again.

    Though… You know… I guess I could deal with that.

    It takes about an hour to get there. It shouldn’t take that long, but it feels like my feet are dragging. By the time we arrive, it’s about six. I should probably check my phone, but I’m afraid to look at it after getting shocked twice like that. I may need a new one.
    The wind’s picking up, stirring the swift growing grass in waves that remind me of the sea. Watching it, it’s a peaceful feeling that fills me, even though the sky is growing dark. Angry clouds and the smell of rain. It’s not too far to the woods from here. I can hear the rumble of distant thunder.
    I wonder if she likes the rain.
    Huh. What a thing to think of now.
    I coil the leash around my hand and reach up to the lock. Surprisingly, she doesn’t back away. Instead, she just looks at me with a curious face. It seems like it asks ‘why are you doing that.’ It comes away easily in my hands, the old combination easy to remember, and the collar on thel eash follows.
    A slender hand rubs at her neck as she looks at me curiously. Her head tilts, and those big ears of hers lift for the first time since this morning. It’s kind of startling to see them stand up like that, turning and twitching. It makes me think she’s more like a rabbit than a mouse.

    “Haaah… Well, I guess… You’re free to go. They told me I could let you go in the area, so this should be fine, right? Huh. I guess… It was kind of fun. There were a lot of sucky things today, but at least it was something different. And I have you to thank for that… So… Thanks again, you. Or maybe… Thanks, Chu.” Why did I call her that? It’s like acknowledging her, it’s just another attachment. Why did I bother to say these things to this girl that doesn’t understand?

    I guess I really am hard up.

    Shit.
    Thunder rumbles in the distance, and I look up at the sky. It looks like I’ll be walking home in the rain after all. The sound of shifting cloth catches my attention, and my sister’s dress is suddenly sitting empty int he tall grass.
    For the second time today, this girl is naked in front of me. Pale skin, a slender body almost like a child’s. Black and gold hair, a strange tail, and those ears that aren’t like a mouse’s at all.

    It’s only a moment, and then she’s gone in the tall grass. It’s a strange thing, knowing that somehow she can run on all fours like that. But I can see the grass weaving as she moves through it.

    I pick up the dress to the sound of thunder. I feel the first drops of rain on my hand, on my head. I look up at the dark sky, though there’s nothing there. I feel like I lost something. Was it because I forced that girl to be by my side? Is it possible to become attached to someone that quickly?

    If so, then I’m scared. What will my Quest be like? Will it feel like this?
    Is it something to look forward to?

    Or is it something to be afraid of?

    No. I think… Maybe… It’s both.

    I look out across the field towards the woods. The sea of grass swells and sways like a tide in the flowing wind. I can see a lonely tree standing in that field, and in the distance the dark forest. But I can no longer see her.

    That’s the way it should be. That’s fine.

    I just wish I could thank you for this lesson, too. Today, I gained the strength for tomorrow.
    With these thoughts, I turn my back to the verdant sea.

    Ah, wait, there’s something I forgot to say. Damn.
    I turn back, and yell it.

    “GOOD BY-“
    “CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” What thehell!?!?
    Asha Records
    Fuyuki - Winter Cleaning
    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  16. #16
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    "May your life continue to be interesting" is most definitely a curse.

    Ending totally killed the mood in a good way. That was fun. Well, the whole update, too.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  17. #17
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    What IRUn said, basically.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  18. #18
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    Lol. Next chapter involves Aurum being stupid. Can't remember if it introduces Leon and mentions Fargo, or if that's the chapter after that.
    Asha Records
    Fuyuki - Winter Cleaning
    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




  19. #19
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twelveseal View Post
    Lol. Next chapter involves Aurum being stupid. Can't remember if it introduces Leon and mentions Fargo, or if that's the chapter after that.
    Dropping so many names. ;~;
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  20. #20
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Twelveseal's Avatar
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    Lol. Actually, I had namedrop fail. Leon is Fargo. I still sleepy this early in the morning. The guy showing up soon would be Chris. Who's been mentioned already, actually. Dude with a lot of facial piercings and spiked blue hair.
    Asha Records
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    My Shameful Fics and the Wiki to go with them. Oh, and some fossil I found.
    [16:43] <Twelveseal> Phallus in wonderland sounds like some bad loli-rape KC fanfic
    [16:43] <@Sei> THAT'S what i wanna see




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