Question 5: Finish the following idiom.
‘The grass is always greener _____________’
Archer: ‘The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.’
Teacher: Correct. It’s used when talking about how the situations of other’s may seem more desirable than your own regardless of what the truth of it is.
Lancer: There’s no way I’d no such a phrase!
Teacher: It was assigned in your reading. At least be slightly ashamed.
Saber: Meatbun?
Teacher: What is this, I don’t even. Honestly, you lost me.
“Gao Gao Gao”
The sound of my alarm clock wakes me from my wonderful dream. Ah, whatever, it’s the weekend so I’ll just ignore it. I was dreaming that I was in a room full of wonderful stuffed animals, and they were all so soft and fluffy and cute and…
“Yo, lazy king. You still asleep?”
Damn him! I can’t just laze around after such a sarcastic remark. Forcing my body to move, I sit up on my bed and glare at my roommate.
“Remind me again, but why the hell are you my roommate, Archer?”
Of course, I know the answer, and he knows that I know the answer. But the way he’s sitting so smugly at his desk in his little red pajamas, sipping a cup of tea without a care in the world while he reads some document on his computer is really getting on my nerves.
“To have forgotten so soon after I just explained it to you yesterday, I guess you really are Class F.” He shrugs in an exaggerated manner before continuing. “The rooming assignments were random, and I was the unlucky one to be paired with such an old-fashioned knight.”
“The unlucky one is me, Archer” I shoot back a lame comeback as I leave to go take my morning shower.
You see, students attending Type Moon Academy who live too far away to commute easily reside at the school’s famous dormitory, ‘the Throne of Heroes’. The living conditions aren’t so bad, but some of the other people living here are just…
I suddenly hear a loud noise coming from the room. Judging by the sound, it seems like somebody just kicked our door down. Ugh, this senseless destruction, it’s probably-
“ALEXANDER! What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” screams Archer.
“Me? I’m just here to set up the rules for this competition of kings with Saber. I have the other participant with me, so we can finish this council fairly quickly.”
Wait. Other participant? You mean the third of our three-way rivalry? If it’s that guy… I jump out of the shower, wrap a towel around myself, and grab my sword that I had placed in the corner of the room.
“Saber, the king of heroes has come to claim you! Hmm, from the sound of it, could she be in the shower right now? Nice, nice, I think I’ll give her the pleasure of my company.”
Gilgamesh… Despite my disagreements and differences with Alexander, we don’t really have any animosity towards one another. In other words, a friendly rivalry. Gilgamesh, on the hand, is someone I just can’t get along with no matter what. It really doesn’t help that he just doesn’t understand what “No means no, I’m just not interested in you” means. I was secretly hoping he would go to that other ‘school of steel’, but like a stalker he keeps following me.
After waiting a few seconds since his declaration, I kick open the bathroom door, smacking Gilgamesh in the process. Before he can react or protest I have my sword at his throat.
“Were you thinking of peeping at me? I think you were thinking about peeping at me. You see what’s at your throat? That’s right, it’s real. You try something like this again, and I’ll kill you.” I whisper in his ear. Next, I stand up and look at both intruders. “Now the both of you get out of my room!”
After we finish kicking the both of them out, Archer takes a step back, looks at me, and smiles.
“Sure are cranky in the morning, aren’t you? Is it because you haven’t had breakfast yet?” The smile becomes a smirk. “Regardless of the reason, don’t you think it’d be better to put on some clothes first?”
I look down. And then I look behind me into the bathroom. The towel must have fallen off when I kicked the door open to attack Gilgamesh. I look at Archer’s stupid grin and I knew there was only one thing to do.
“DIE!”
If I just kill him, then I can pretend this embarrassment never happened! After I finish him off, I’ll just go and take out Alexander and Gilgamesh as well. Archer avoids my first strike and quickly dives behind his bed. Just as quickly, he jumps back out holding two Chinese swords. Damn him, he must have been hiding them under his bed.
“Still, Archer, do you really think that will help? After all, you’re in Class A, which means that you’re probably some nerd who’s helpless at combat.”
“Appearances can be surprising, Saber. After all, who would have guessed that a girl who acts as boyishly as actually had a feminine body?”
Snap.
“I’ll KILL YOU!!!”
Needless to say, it was an epic battle. The two of us completely trashed our room before the fight spilled into the hallway. I would love to describe it, but since I wouldn’t be able to do it justice, let’s not ruin it with words. You’ll just have to use your imagination in that case~
He put up a much better fight than I expected him to, but in the end he was no match for me. I stand over his fallen body and hold my sword above his throat.
“You fought admirably, but this is the end. Any last words, Archer?”
He thinks for a bit, and sighs.
“Man, I’d thought I’d enjoy the view more, but it’s like looking at a cliff.”
Damn it, in the excitement of the battle I forgot that I was still naked. And all those people around the building saw me too… damndamndamndamn. And this guy, still making sarcastic comments to the very end? At the very least, I’ll be able to shut his mouth for good. That’s what I tell myself as I prepare to deliver the final blow.
“Oh, hello Caster-sensei. And Kuzuki-sensei as well.” says Archer looking over my shoulder.
I freeze for a single instant as fear fills my heart. Caster, one of the two teachers for Class B and the instructor for supplementary lessons. To put it simply, she has an obsession with cute things. Her ‘punishments’ often include being dressed in embarrassing homemade dresses while she takes pictures. And that’s just for the women in her class and supplementary lessons. The men in her class are lucky, as she normally doesn’t pay much attention to them, but the men forced to take her lessons? Not as lucky. Apparently, she does something to them in an attempt to make them ‘cuter’. I never found out exactly what happens, but all I know is that they would keep muttering about how they feel ‘violated’. Her actions have even alienated the teachers for Class D, who are less than pleased about the way she treats their daughter.
But just as quickly as the fear came, the logic from my brain instantly gets rid of it. This is the oldest trick in the book. I’d look behind me only to see nobody there, and Archer would then take the opportunity to escape.
“Nice try Archer, but I’m not falling for something like that.” I say as I lift my sword. Just as I begin my downward thrust, somebody from behind me yanks it right out of my hands and throws it away. Before I can react, the same hands grab me and put me in a submission hold.
“My, well if it isn’t Saber?” exclaimed Caster’s cheerful voice. “If you didn’t have any clothes, instead of running around, you should have just come to me. I have the perfect outfit for you that I’m sure you’re just dying to try on.”
“Actually, I-” I try to protest, but Caster cuts me off.
“And I won’t take no for an answer. Souichirou-sama, could you please bring Saber to my room? Oh, you’ll look just so cute in that wedding dress I just got. Exactly like a little bride.” Caster keeps talking as she walks away. Unfortunately for me, I’m also being carried away in the same direction, slung over Kuzuki’s shoulder. Just before we turn the corner, I look up and the last thing I see… is Archer’s smirk.
“AAAAAAARRRRRRCCCCCHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! !!!!”
Reply With Quote
