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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #4061
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vagrant View Post
    True Neutral doesn't sound as lovely and poetic and descriptive as Chaotic Lawful. I like that designation much more, honestly, and for Nasuverse it works fine in my opinion.
    Chaotic Lawful doesn't mean the same thing as True Neutral. It's just nonsense. It doesn't work fine for the Nasuverse, because it doesn't work anywhere. You can't just put two things that are opposite next to each other and assume that they somehow cancel out in the middle.

  2. #4062
    I was unsure what alignment he'd be, so I put Lawful down and left. Eventually, I put Chaotic down, thinking that he fit that descriptor better, but then changed my mind and did something else and then eventually put him down as Lawful Neutral. It looks like that draft wasn't saved.

    Lawful Neutral is the intended alignment.

  3. #4063
    Mate, that's noice as fuck! Vagrant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Chaotic Lawful doesn't mean the same thing as True Neutral. It's just nonsense. It doesn't work fine for the Nasuverse, because it doesn't work anywhere. You can't just put two things that are opposite next to each other and assume that they somehow cancel out in the middle.
    Only if you assume Lawful = Ordered, rather than just "follows laws". Yes, in a DnD sense it doesn't work at all, but in a more open and general way you can be chaotic whilst following plenty of laws and orders and the like, especially in real life. It's easy to cause confusion and disorder whilst still obeying laws.

  4. #4064
    Κυρία Ἐλέησον Seika's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petrikow View Post
    I wasn't aware I had a schedule.

    But yeah I'll do it soon, probably tomorrow.
    *cough*

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  5. #4065
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    I come up with the silliest things when I plan Mesopotamian Servants.

    *********

    Introduction

    “You are too kind,” Caster said graciously as she received the rustic and plain cup of tea from her Master. Ayaka joined her right afterwards, the two of them placidly seated in the middle of the plain and poorly lit bedroom. The light of the stars entered shyly and sparingly from the glass door leading to the tiny balcony, filtered only by unwashed curtains. It was a rather gloomy scenery as usual, but the ancient spellweaver never lost her simple smile.

    “Is this really alright…?” The spectacled girl muttered, not to her Servant but to the cup in her hands. It was not the first time she said those words since the evening she summoned Caster.

    “Hmm?” A long lock of white hair slid behind Caster’s left shoulder after she vaguely tilted her head. In spite of her gesture, she did not look much interested in her Master’s vagary, rather involving herself in the enjoyment of what by all means was a cup of cheap and ordinary green tea. “Hmm, truly, a flavor I cannot get tired of. We did not have tea in my time; did I mention this before?”

    “Yes, yes…” Ayaka uttered tiredly. Caster was a difficult person for her to deal with. It was the dilemma of every Master in the Holy Grail War: the weight of summoning a legendary wielder of Magecraft with skills immensely superior to anything modern mages could possibly hope to muster. Her Servant was no exception—they had yet to participate in battles, but Caster had already shown her unbelievable magical skills. But taking that aside…

    Ayaka’s eyes drifted uneasily, to glance at bare white thighs, fair and lustrous hair, and a most plentiful cleavage.

    While the Master pondered about the unfairness of the world, the Servant drank green tea. Even if the actors were anything but ordinary, the scene was something almost disappointingly mundane.

    “Shouldn’t we…go out or…?”

    Caster’s eyes looked a bit bored (disappointed?) as they glanced at Ayaka’s.

    “You have summoned me to a War between legendary figures, in which at least three of them have measures of resistance to magic…no, that is not correct.” Caster was quick to correct herself. “Now that it is clear that more than one of every Servant class has been summoned, I must take into account at least six opponents resistant to my spells. Furthermore, the other Caster summoned a Servant of her own.”

    Placing the empty cup on the kotatsu, Caster reached for the dagger tied to her waist, the very same Ayaka had use as catalyst in her Servant summoning ceremony. Presenting it to her Master, Caster allowed the ancient weapon to float and spin in the air over her outstretched hand like a compass out of control.

    “I am not a fighter, nor do I possess knowledge on the skillful use of weapons. I carry only the teachings and blessings of my most divine mother and the infinite ruler of heaven whom I serve. A direct confrontation would be an unnecessary risk, but within the safety of my Temple, I fear no mortal. And while I do have ways to counter the magic resistance of Servants, they require preparations I have yet to conclude.”

    “Temple, you say…” Ayaka glanced at the four walls around them. “I saw you using your Noble Phantasm, but it’s still hard to believe you turned by house into a…”

    Rolling back all but one finger, Caster allowed the tip to rest on the extended index. It stayed unmoving and never tilting, resting unnaturally.

    “Let us allow our opponents to cull their numbers for now.” Her free hand poked the empty cup. “I would like a refill.”

    Ayaka almost snorted. Her Servant was always like that—never demanding anything, but never asking for anything either. However, the things she wanted were the things that must be done. It could be seen in the fluctuations in her tone and in the luster in her eyes. This was a person who was used to having things her way. And thus, Ayaka always found herself doing as “suggested”. A part of her wondered if she was being controlled, but it was not like she could ask such a thing.

    While Ayaka reached for the teapot, Caster provided more information.

    “Berserker’s still at your sister’s house. The amount of prana she received from her Master before she died was astounding, so I guess she will last at least one more day if she does not push herself. The chain-user Rider is also there. Your sister and her Saber are approaching Caster’s Temple. It is a matter of time before they meet her Assassin. The red Archer…is near the bridge. I do not think he has yet noticed, but the other Rider is stalking him from the sky. The two Lancers are fighting each other again tonight, and the black Archer has taken a sniping position a distance away from them. The other Berserker is outside my detection range right now.”

    As for ‘onii-sama’…Ayaka did not need to know about that.

    Ayaka nodded before presenting her Servant with a refilled cup, which Caster accepted graciously and gratefully. She doubted even the other Caster-class Servant had such an acute and expansive awareness of the position of every other Servant. The fact her own Servant could keep track of the entire Grail War from the safety of their house was definitely a precious asset.

    “Wait, what about the other Assassin?” Ayaka pointed out before sinking her legs in the kotatsu once more.

    “Ah, that one’s been watching us from that corner for a while now.”

    Ayaka was not allowed the chance to utter the slightest complaint. Before a single sound could escape her lips, something pointy and metallic bounced off an invisible wall before it could pierce her jugular. A dark, slim figure leapt over her seated form, which she only recognized as a masked woman in a form-fitting suit when the room was suddenly lit by cuneiform sigils of power filling the walls, ceiling and even the empty space between Master and Servant. The black figure darted over both Ayaka and Caster, her body gracefully weaving out of the way of stakes of light shot from at least eight different directions, and finally broke through the sliding glass door to disappear over the balcony’s railing. A lone piece of shattered glass bounced off Ayaka’s glasses; all other which might have harmed her skin were repelled by a wall of sorcery effortlessly conjured by Caster. And thus, while the Master shivered as her upper body was showered with chilling wind leaking from outside through the ruined glass door, the Servant calmly returned to her enjoyment of cheap green tea.

    “Ara, she got away,” Caster finally commented fifteen or so seconds later when Assassin made it through the outer perimeter of her Temple. “How impressive.”

    “Wha…wha…”

    “Master, you are embarrassing yourself.”

    “Wha..why, why did you just let her get away!? We have to go after her!” Ayaka finally exploded, jumping to her feet and reaching for the jacket still lying on the bed.

    “Now that, Master, would be a terrible idea,” Caster declared, although she too rose to her feet. “Assassin is nothing but a lure for the greater threat standing outside.”

    “Wha—you mean…” Ayaka’s hand froze before it could reach for the jacket. “But you said…the Servants…”

    “It is not a Servant,” Caster muttered ominously before directing her gaze at the world outside the broken glass door. How could she explain that thing? The abomination that consumed Servant Saber. She could already feel it: gnawing, leeching at the magical foundation of her Temple, and tearing it apart like a surgeon disassembling a spider’s web thread by thread. It was not simply forcing its way through; it was digging through it, peeling it like layers of an onion. Her pride, a wonder of magical engineering incomparable in this world, was being extinguished so effortlessly…!

    This…this thing, was a threat. Not just an immediate threat to her and her Master. It was something that could not be allowed to exist in this world any longer. It was the only reason she did not just take Ayaka with her and escape. Caster’s morals, the ideals engraved upon her by her faith and the goddess she called mother, told her she had to rid the world of this monstrosity.

    “No…” She whispered, almost pleadingly. She did not want to fight this thing. She did not want to fight a thing she still could not understand.

    Ayaka…if she asked for her Master’s input, she would be told to fight. Ayaka was seized by an unhealthy need to prove something to herself. She wanted more than the Holy Grail; she wanted greatness, a victory that would allow her to look down on the losers—on her sister, and on that hated person she called Tohsaka.

    Caster closed her eyes tight shut, gripping her trusty dagger a little too fiercely. It was her duty to fight, even if she did not want to. Furthermore, fighting would be her Master’s desire.

    The decision was made not by either of Master or Servant, but by the thunderous sounds of multiple violent impacts that resounded throughout the neighborhood. While Ayaka, poor and innocent Ayaka, shrieked and fell on her knees while covering her ears, Caster did catch a glimpse of them.

    Noble Phantasms, all of them, falling most likely upon the ‘shadow’ like fangs of a divine predator.

    “Onii-sama…”

    She was not so deluded as to think he had come to help her. No, he obviously saw the ‘shadow’ as an abomination, just like she did. It was an ugly stain in this world that is his garden. However, not even her invincible brother would be safe against that thing.

    “Master, please stay close to me,” she warned. “I cannot guarantee your safety otherwise.”

    Caster did not reach the Throne of Heroes by running away, after all.


    Class: Caster
    Master: Sajyou Ayaka
    True Name: PESHTUR

    Gender: Female
    Height: 154 cm
    Weight: 46 kg
    Three Sizes: 86/56/81

    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Appearance: The most powerful of An’s followers certainly does not look the role. The Sumerian priestess carries the appearance of a small and shapely young girl. Her white hair, long enough to reach past her buttocks, carries a subtle pinkish hue. Her right eye is a vibrant blue like the sky in spring, while her left eye is inhumanly red—the mark of her powerful magical talent and the touch of the gods’ blessing. She normally wears a plain linen one piece that was probably white at some point but took a yellowish tint with the passage of time. The plain garment covers only halfway down her thighs, and it has a wide neck opening that inevitably draws attention to her plentiful bust. The gold and lapis lazuli sheath of her ceremonial knife is strapped to her right side, and she wears the gold tiara of An, characterized by its double pair of bull horns.

    Strength E
    Endurance D
    Agility B
    Magic A++
    Luck D
    Noble Phantasm A+

    Class Skills:
    * Item Construction: The skill to manufacture magical items.
    B – Capable of creating ritualistic weapons that inflict critical damage even to spirits on the level of Servants.
    * Territory Creation: The skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus.
    A++ – Thanks to her Noble Phantasm, Peshtur can raise a Temple of incomparable power; a veritable magical fortress the likes of which has not been seen in over four thousand years.

    Personal Skills:
    * High-Speed Divine Words: The power to activate Thaumaturgy without the use of Magic Circuits. The language of the Age of Gods, back when words played a heavy role in spellcasting. As such, it is power long lost by modern magi.
    A- – High-Thaumaturgy-level Magecraft can be cast at the speed of Single-Action spells. Greater Rituals still demand their original number of lines, but casting time is halved (High-Speed Aria).
    * Presence Detection: The ability to detect other Servants and local mana sources.
    C- – Can detect all sources and flows of mana as far as 4 km.
    * Unrewarded Legend: Heroic competence that has been forgotten by history or unrecognized for whatever reason.
    A+ – All parameters and skills appear to be two ranks lower than they truly are, to a minimum rank of E. Pluses and minuses are unaffected. If her true name is revealed, this effect will be terminated and the skill, Unrewarded Legend, becomes detectable by enemy Masters.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Spoiler:

    Ebabbar
    The Pristine White Temple, Equal to Heaven

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: A+
    Range: 5-50
    Maximum number of targets: --

    The grandeur of Sumer’s ancient ziggurats obeyed mostly aesthetic reasons. They were meant to impress the populace as much as they were meant to praise the gods by reaching for the sky. However, the true worth of a temple was not in its physical appearance, but in its magical richness. The choice of an favorable location rich in ambient mana, the orientation of its structure according to auspicious divinations and the ritual spells embedded on its walls gave every temple its own unique worth and identity.

    The An temple district in Uruk was the most ancient part of the city. While the original ziggurat of An was built long before Peshtur’s time, it was at her behest that a second temple was built on top of the ziggurat. Peshtur directed the construction of the White Temple of An and personally handled the magical preparations. Every single permanent and contingent enchantment invested upon the walls and rooms of the White Temple was born from Peshtur’s designs and executed by her own hand. The result was an astoundingly complex bounded field overlaid with a mind-boggling amount of magical effects, all of them laid out together harmoniously and elegantly, like a beautiful tapestry of magic woven over the temple’s walls and surrounding areas. Despite being the most complex ritual Peshtur ever executed, she is so intimate with the intricacies of its workings that it has become the one ritual magic she can perform with but a gesture, as her Noble Phantasm. Basically, the ability to convert any territory with a modicum of suitability into a marvelous magical fortress from the Age of Gods.

    The requisites are surprisingly minimalistic: it has to be a location exposed to the great outdoors—as in, not inside a cave, a windowless building or deep underground. Also, it must be a place where the stars are still visible at night—in this regard, Peshtur was fortunate Fuyuki is still not that large a city. While connection to a leyline would be optimal, it is not necessary. As she invokes the ritual, countless magical words in cuneiform expand throughout the extent of the chosen territory, all of them written in a blue haze of swirling prana. They rise in the air, enveloping the perimeter of the temple and creating a radiant sight the likes of which has not been seen in over four millennia. It is a beautiful, ephemeral scene, for the sigils fade as soon as the territory is properly set up.

    At first glance, the location does not seem any different, but any person acquainted with Magecraft can detect the ridiculously potent protections guarding Peshtur’s temple. The White Temple is a territory where the normal assumptions and rules concerning magic no longer apply, as it is ruled not by human Thaumaturgical systems but by the ways of the ancient gods. Anything and everything within the temple is within Peshtur’s expanded awareness—Presence Concealment and any other form of stealth fail within her territory. Non-divine spirits other than Peshtur that step within the temple suffer rank-down to all their parameters, and the Sixth Imaginary Element is absolutely forbidden within the temple grounds. Peshtur’s rank in High-Speed Divine Words improves to A-rank, ensuring that all her spells, no matter how complex, can be cast as Single-Action. Furthermore, she can at will deny an entire Thaumaturgical System from functioning within her temple, albeit only one at any given time. The magical structure that defies current human understanding of magic allows for the harmonization of the Fifth Imaginary Element and the Fifth True Theoretical Element—within the temple, creation-type magic such as Gradation Air is enhanced. If the temple has gathered enough mana, Peshtur can go as far as to forbid non-divine creatures or mysteries from invading the temple, making the primordial magical array flash back to life as a wondrous barrier of prana in the form of myriad cuneiform sigils. The barrier can also flare into life in response to an external attack, and it is capable of nullifying almost any spell or Noble Phantasm due to its potency and the fact it was conjured by a most ancient of mysteries.

    That is not to say the temple’s defenses are invincible. A sufficiently powerful anti-fortress Noble Phantasm can penetrate it. Furthermore the anti-spirit divine component of Peshtur’s magic system is susceptible to magic of the Imaginary Numbers. The temple collects not only ambient magical energy from the land, but also the light from the stars which is converted into prana. Limiting the amount of energy the temple can collect will naturally diminish its protective capabilities.

    Spoiler:

    Ĝiri Mulan
    Falling Star of Exorcism

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: A+
    Range: 2-80
    Maximum number of targets: 50 people

    In ancient Sumer, not unlike the Holy Church of modern times, the priesthood was organized in multiple divisions according to their specific, separate roles. It was the duty of the išib-priests to protect the lands from the misdeeds of foul demons and wicked spirits. They were the Executors of ancient times; trained in both exorcism and anti-spirit, anti-demon and anti-magus combat. But that is really the end of any possible comparison: neither the demons nor the demon-hunters of the current era can possibly compare to their equivalents from the Age of Gods. In that ancient world where magic was common and spirits roamed the lands and mingled with humans, any single threat could easily bloat into a major calamity. With so many dangerous, powerful creatures looming at the edges of the nascent civilization, just how many disasters would an išib-priest defuse in his career? Empowered with ancient magic and wielding the divine instruments that would eventually spread throughout the world and become the symbols of countless legends, these nameless heroes acted as the stalwart guardians of that long-lost wondrous civilization of magic.

    Ĝiri Mulan is one of the weapons wielded by the exorcist priests over 4500 years ago. More specifically, an ancient ritualistic dagger of the išib-priests and priestesses of An. It is made of pure gold, with a shaft of glowing blue lapis lazuli decorated with even more gold. Its elegant sheath, arrayed with geometric patterns, is made of the same material. It is a crystallized blessing, the favor of the king of gods upon his beloved servant. The wielder of the blade becomes the agent of An’s will upon the lands: if An is the first and foremost judge, then his priest is the original executioner. It is the materialization of An’s power as Lord of Constellations: the small blade which contains the power of a star, for even celestial bodies are merely An’s instruments to punish the wicked.

    The dagger faithfully obeys its owner, the exorcist of An—Peshtur does not need to throw it or wield it; merely pointing it in the direction of its intended target and calling the weapon’s name is enough to set the dagger loose. Ĝiri Mulan has no obscure, esoteric effect; it is merely an instrument of extermination. It needs no expanse of time to obliterate—there is no flashy explosion; no lingering surge of destructive enemy. The instant it reaches its target, the dagger flashes with the intensely bright light of a white star for a split instant—exactly what it takes it to annihilate everything in a ten-meter radius. Furthermore, by using the “Offering Words of the Sword of Rupture” (see the Background section below) she can double the Noble Phantasm’s power output and area of effect by borrowing a fraction of the power of the Star of Creation.

    Its immense, instantaneous destructive power is dangerous for anything and everything. Regardless, Ĝiri Mulan is a transcendent weapon and thus especially dangerous against those of the Transcendent Kind, with the exception of Divine Spirits, who cannot be harmed at all by the dagger’s terrible effect. Ĝiri Mulan was one of the Noble Phantasms Gilgamesh used against Gilles de Rais’ extradimensional god beast and never recovered afterwards. It was recovered by Sajyou Ayaka’s father, and ten years later the young magus girl used it as her catalyst in the hopes of invoking a powerful Mesopotamian Servant.


    Setting Notes
    Spoiler:
    The original ‘little sister not related by blood’.

    Her name is mentioned only twice in that ever popular Golden King’s tale, and her existence as a Heroic Spirit is closer to that of a certain bird-slashing swordsman. Regardless, the fact remains that she is recorded in the Throne of Heroes, even if her name has been dismissed by humanity, forever occluded in the shadow of far greater heroes from ancient Mesopotamia.

    From the very beginning, the girl Peshtur was blessed with good fortune. She was born a commoner, but she carried an immense potential for magic. So much so, in fact, that her normal speech already so carried so much latent power that it affected the world around her outside of her will. What should have been ordinary words already carried the weight of the divine, for she was loved by the gods and blessed by them since the very moment she came to exist. She was blessed with power, wit and unparalleled beauty. In return, her life would belong to the same gods who blessed her existence. She was separated from her birth parents at the tender age of six. It was the Holy Cow, goddess Ninsun herself, who took the young girl and raised her as a daughter of her own, educating her in the words of the gods and the priestly ways. Allowed to reside in the King’s palace until her adoptive mother deemed her ready to assume the role of priestess, Peshtur’s childhood would be filled with sights of wondrous treasures, countless faces and ceaseless revelry. Some of her fondest memories are of playing commoners’ games with the King’s concubines and that most mysterious, delightful and amazing man—the only one the King acknowledged as his friend.

    The beautiful girl became a beautiful woman. Ninsun taught her how to temper her power and how to open her mouth without transmuting the world around her. She was a grateful young woman, aware of her blessings and of whom she had to thank for them. She was a devout servant of the deities, most unlike her brother by adoption, who turned his back to them.

    It would be a lie to say they were close, Peshtur and Gilgamesh. The Golden King was blind to anything but his own greatness. Deep in her heart, she believed Gilgamesh did not even remember the faces of those he interacted with, except for Enkidu. While she strived to be somebody who could proudly announce herself as the great Gilgamesh’s little sister, the King himself never really recognized her as such or treated her as family. But Peshtur, like everybody in his kingdom, never questioned the King. If he would not acknowledge her, it only meant she was not worth his attention. But unlike the common citizen who simply accepted his due place in the grand scheme of things, the little priestess ached for recognition. Despite all her talent and power, her ‘brother’s’ dismissal was enough to erode her confidence all the way to the bottom, but she made up for it with boundless dedication.

    It was surprising when Ninsun, instead of sending her to the larger, more important Temple of Inanna in Uruk, appointed her to the smaller Temple of An. Regardless, young Peshtur, after offering her maidenhood to the gods in the holiest ritual of sacred intercourse, ensured that her Temple of An would never be found lacking. That would have been the end of her tale; one of a certainly talented young priestess who dedicated her life to the gods, but of little importance in the grand scheme of things nonetheless.

    But then the Bull of Heaven fell upon the lands with righteous fury.

    Its power was immeasurable. Every single of its steps unleashed tremendous earthquakes, and its roar turned forests into desert. The Walls of Uruk were like sand before his wrath. Only the great temples, under the aegis of the priests favored by the gods, did not crumble and collapse under his might. Gilgamesh and Enkidu fought and proved themselves even mightier. However, Gugalanna was not a spirit that could simply be killed. Protected by the blessing of his bride, mighty and most arcane Ereshkigal, Gugalanna would rise unblemished no matter how many times Gilgamesh’s weapons struck him down. It seemed a hopeless battle, for it appeared no worldly power could destroy the Bull of Heaven for good.

    Peshtur, meanwhile, prayed alone in her temple. She had been told to do almost mockingly by her brother, who thought her not worthy of standing in battle by his side. But she still wished for his safety, and Enkidu’s, and that of the realm they called home. So she prayed, hoping for an answer from the very same gods who had sent that calamity to their lands. And an answer came indeed, from the God of Heaven and Consort of Spirits. Not waiting for permission or even bothering to announce her intent, Peshtur departed from the city with utmost haste, as fast as her spells allowed. It was a short trip, but nonetheless dangerous—Gugalanna’s descent had weakened the barrier separating the material realm from Ereshkigal’s underworld, and all sorts of foul spirits had been roused by the disturbance.

    No tablet depicts the battles Peshtur fought. No epic narrates the scope of her efforts: of the trials set upon her by An and Erehskigal; of the temptation of the dark, yet beautiful maid, Ki-sikil-lil-la-ke; of her successfully fending off Namtar, who struck her with insults and five dozen poxes; of the terrible, hellish subterranean realm where the supreme tool forged at the eve of Creation resided, and the Beast of Gaia which rested by its side. But the gods watched and remembered, and through them, the universe itself.

    When she returned, she presented her King with a weapon like no other; a weapon only the greatest among the great could wield. It looked like a sword, but it could not be one, for it was an object from a time before time; before even the very concept of ‘sword’ was conceived. If a power from this world could not destroy Gugalanna, perhaps an otherworldly weapon could do what the King’s countless treasures could not.

    peshtur.jpg

    That was the tale of Peshtur, išib-Priestess of An, and the Sword of Rupture which eventually carried the name of An’s son.


    Keywords
    Spoiler:

    Presence Detection: A skill Peshtur developed with forgotten Age of Gods magic after watching Enkidu’s natural ability to expand his supernatural senses over vast expanses of land. Peshtur’s version is vastly inferior, as it does not allow her to detect spirits per se—she makes logical guesses about the nature of the ‘prana sinks’ she detects—and its range is a fraction of Enkidu’s. However, for a magus like her it is still a useful tool to gain an awareness of the local geomancy in a mere instant.

  6. #4066
    Wha- Eva's Avatar
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    Gee, I'm really bad at making these. Oh well.

    These are for two versions of Asada Shino, IGN "Sinon", introduced in volume 5 of the Sword Art Online LNs.

    GGO Version
    Class: Archer (Also qualifies for Assassin)

    True Name: Sinon (AKA Asada Shino)
    Sex: Female
    Height/Weight: 154cm/44kg
    Alignment: Neutral

    Strength: ​C
    Endurance: E
    Agility: D+
    Mana: E
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: C+

    Class Abilities:

    Independent Action: C
    Magic Resistance: E
    Sinon’s world didn’t have magic, but she gained a slight resistance to it due to being summoned into the Archer class.

    Personal Skills:

    Machine of Ice: A
    A skill that helped Sinon become an effective sniper. She slows her heartbeat to steady her aim and increase the chance of hitting her target, clears her mind of distractions, and sees the best instant to pull the trigger, aided by a distorted and slowed perception of time.
    Projectile Prediction: C
    Projectiles will have their paths shown to Sinon, raising her chances of dodging them. Only applies to projectiles that obey the laws of physics.
    Presence Concealment: D
    Allows Sinon to snipe her targets more effectively by reducing her presence, though, given the distances she normally works with, the usefulness of this skill varies.

    Noble Phantasm:

    PGM Hecate II
    Monster in the Hands of a Doll

    Rank: C+
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 2000m
    A powerful anti-materiel sniper rifle. Use against a human can be considered excessive force and bullets from Sinon’s version of the rifle can cause instant death just from hitting a person in the foot at close ranges. A hit to the chest of a human, even from afar, can blow away the chest, shoulders, and head. Against Servants, this wouldn’t happen, but the damage is still considerable higher than one might expect. In her world, her proficiency with this rifle gave her the nickname of Hecate.

    Other:

    H&K MP7A1
    Rank: E
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 200m
    A submachine gun that uses (body) armor-piercing rounds.

    Notes
    If summoned as Assassin, her Presence Concealment skill becomes a class skill and ranks up to C.

    I’m not good with alignments, but Neutral seemed to fit.

    I spent some time wondering how her strength and agility would work out, since it’s noted that her STR stat is higher than her AGI so she can use her heavy rifle. She seems to be able to move fairly well (Snipers in GGO increase STR, DEX, and AGI, in that order.), though definitely not on Kirito’s level. In the end, I added a + modifier for agility to denote her agility when using a lighter weapon. She never really goes for hand-to-hand combat, so strength here is iffy.

    I have no idea how the range thing works for NPs, seeing how Excalibur has a range of 1-99, but goes really damn far, so I just used meters. Seems like 99 is the maximum range under Fate’s system though.


    ALO Version
    Class: Archer

    True Name: Sinon (AKA Asada Shino)
    Sex: Female
    Height/Weight: 161cm/49kg
    Alignment: Neutral

    Strength: E
    Endurance: E
    Agility: E+
    Mana: D
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: --

    Class Abilities:

    Independent Action: C
    Magic Resistance: D

    Personal Skills:

    Clairvoyance: D
    Enhanced vision common in her Cait Sith race complements Sinon’s already great eyesight.
    Flight: C
    As a fairy, Sinon possesses the ability to fly. This ability is useless in caves and similar areas though.
    Magecraft: C
    Sinon can enchant her arrows with various attributes, such as an arrow that deals 10% physical damage and 90% fire damage.

    Noble Phantasm:

    Sinon technically does not have a Noble Phantasm to put here, but I’ve heard she’s got her eye on the legendary Light Bow Shekhinah...

    Other:

    Lisbeth’s Bow
    Rank: D
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 200m
    A well-made bow with a range that Sinon somehow managed to double, accurately hitting targets at the unheard of 200m range. She also somehow managed to make it able to rapid-fire arrows.

    Notes
    Between GGO Sinon and ALO Sinon, I’d say that her appearances in ALO don’t have enough to be a Servant, seeing as she doesn’t have a signature weapon/skill (other than her skill with a bow/ranged weapon, which is kinda necessary for the class) there, but I made this anyway.

    Her height and weight could well be different in ALO than in GGO, so I used her RL height and estimated a weight. Even then, her height and weight are estimated for the GGO profile, though she’s stated to be under 155cm, so I went with 154cm for that.

    Sinon’s ALO character is all of two weeks old in her only combat appearance there. Thus, her stats for this sheet are low, though her skill and body control is high. Underestimating her because her stats are remarkably unimpressive could easily prove fatal.

    Incidentally, Asada Shino’s eyesight is 2.0 (AKA 20/10 and/or 6/3).
    Last edited by Eva; January 5th, 2013 at 04:10 PM. Reason: F*cking formatting.


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  7. #4067
    HSTP 500 Internal S ervant  Error aldeayeah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    you can't just put two things that are opposite next to each other and assume that they somehow cancel out in the middle.
    Yes you can, it's called oxymoron, it's awesome and poetic and deep and stuff

    brb goin wrist slittin

  8. #4068
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    @ Verg - Love her. She makes for an excellent enchantress-style Caster, her personality is amusing to say the least (an ojou-sama who came from poverty, who turns into a tsundere if a woman flashier than her shows up and catches the eye of her Master), and I like how her most broken Noble Phantasm is also the most impractical and unlikely to be applied (most Berserkers can't fall in love with her, most Knight-Class Servants wouldn't or would put duty before feelings, and for the few that are charmed by her there is always a Command Spell from the Masters). The picture was also gorgeous.

    @ Mellon - Kalevipoeg is hilarious. I can just picture most modern-day Magi pulling their hair out at having to deal with his whimsical nature. He seems like he'd be a better fit for Berserker than Rider. One question though: What exactly is the curse placed upon his sword and is it a factor when he's summoned as a Servant?

    @ Asdfghl - A perfect example of a Ruler Class Servant. His NP allowing him to be where the action is as a background character actually makes perfect sense when you consider his role as a referee for the Grail War, and the fat that his NP actually helps innocent bystanders and the city itself prosper is just icing on the cake!

    @ Daneel - Is it just me or are all of your Mesopatamian Servants way more sympathetic than Gilgamesh? Its almost like you portray ancient Uruk as this wonderous paradise filled with awesome bros, cool big sisters, adorable (and useful) imoutous... and then there is Gilgamesh! Makes me wonder how Ko-Gil would react to her. I like how you brought Ayaka into this in the description. Makes me wish you would actually write this fanfic.

  9. #4069
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    I consciously avoid writing about the assholes of ancient Mesopotamia. Although I did make a note to make a write-up for Sennacherib one day.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I consciously avoid writing about the assholes of ancient Mesopotamia. Although I did make a note to make a write-up for Sennacherib one day.

  10. #4070
    Beware the Finnish Ringlets Verg Avesta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Man View Post
    @ Verg - Love her. She makes for an excellent enchantress-style Caster, her personality is amusing to say the least (an ojou-sama who came from poverty, who turns into a tsundere if a woman flashier than her shows up and catches the eye of her Master), and I like how her most broken Noble Phantasm is also the most impractical and unlikely to be applied (most Berserkers can't fall in love with her, most Knight-Class Servants wouldn't or would put duty before feelings, and for the few that are charmed by her there is always a Command Spell from the Masters). The picture was also gorgeous.
    Yeah, I wanted a Servant that actually requires strategy to win. She can't really overpower anymore, and her Trap-NP is basically just something meant to slow an enemy Servant down. However, if she manages to get in good graces of right Servants, and make them fall for her... well, then she suddenly stands a chance.

  11. #4071
    Greatness, at any cost mAc Chaos's Avatar
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    She could always make the Master of the Servants fall in love with her.

    Ally with a strong Servant, seduce their Master while you fight together, then hide behind that Servant until the end of the War. When you're the only two Servants left, you have the Master do the dirty work for you.
    He never sleeps. He never dies.

    Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.

  12. #4072
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    Fan-service Servant.

    1/10

  13. #4073
    Greatness, at any cost mAc Chaos's Avatar
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    Which one.
    He never sleeps. He never dies.

    Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.

  14. #4074
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    @eva, the profile isn't bad actually. The biggest problem is that Sinon really just isn't interesting as a servant without some wankage (the coolest parts of her 'legend' just don't make for an interesting servant, an leave her super generic for the rest of it), plus there is the fact that she really is just a normal human with nothing particularly notable about her in a mythological sense. Even in-game she is far from exciting in comparison to the other players other than being a cut above most, unlike Eugene, or even Sakuya, she doesn't have a prominent role in-game for ALO, and in GGO she is mostly "just another sniper, who happens to have a nice gun". Unlike Kirito who does the impossible in fighting with the light-saber, or even Johnny Black who has an ACTUAL 'legend' to him with the Death Gun.

    For that series the characters who lend to being interesting as servants are really only Kirito, and Kayaba, though Asuna, Yuuki, Sugou, and Johnny Black 'might' be able to be interesting, though it is somewhat doubtful. Once we finish Alicization then things might change (I suspect that Eugeo will be viable if he doesn't get killed off), but as a whole all of the heroines are kinda lame for servants (there just isn't really enough THERE to work with, and honestly while I think Asuna is 'able' to be a servant even she would be on the lame side compared to most... which is a shame because I LOVE the series), and the only guys who stand out have at least an in game 'mythos' to draw on for their abilities (sugou as oberon, and Johnny Black as the Death Gun).

    Sinon is kinda like 8th or 9th on the list for viable servant characters, and honestly the gap between 3rd (asuna, or maybe eugene as he DOES have a NP level weapon and a fairly interesting 'legend' as the "strongest player" and general of an army?) and 2nd (kayaba) is huge.

    Try doing one for one of the more notable characters, I think you did a fine job but picked from a tough source.

  15. #4075
    Madame de Pompadour actually looks pretty interesting as a Servant. I could see her filling the same role as Shakespeare or Dumas, as a support Servant rather than a direct-combat one. Would she be able to seduce a Church supervisor, or a male Servant Ruler?

    Broken-as-fuck Servant just below.


    -0-0-

    —Servant Lancer—

    True Name: Enkidu
    Master: HYPNOS
    Alternate Classes: Striker, Savior (False)
    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Lancer is an androgynous being clad in a loose tunic that further obscures his ambiguous appearance. His voice is also neutral in pitch, making the identification of his true gender even more difficult. He has long, silky green hair that never seems to tangle, and while his face possesses an elegant beauty regardless of his gender, its inhuman perfection puts off observers like a mannequin or a puppet would.

    Oddly enough, Lancer is summoned with no possessions, and his tunic is woven of simple, inexpensive cloth. While wealth does not determine a hero, one would expect a Servant to materialize wearing at least some sort of armor or carrying some sort of weapon.

    —Physical Parameters—

    STR: A+
    AGI: A
    END: A+
    MGC: B
    LCK: D
    NP: A++

    —Class Skills—

    Magic Resistance, Rank D+
    This skill can neutralize single-action spells and has moderately greater effect than an anti-magic amulet. Lancer never displayed any notable resistance to magic spells in life and thus only possesses this skill because of his Servant class. However, his Natural Body skill grants him a boost to this otherwise token skill.

    —Personal Skills—

    Natural Body, Rank B
    Lancer’s original form was that of a mud puppet sculpted by the gods themselves. It did not resemble a human at all, with no gender and no intelligence, but its might was rumored to match even that of even Gilgamesh, the Golden King, himself. When the puppet encountered the divine harlot Shamhat, it fell for the goddess’s transcendent beauty and spent six days and seven nights with her. By the end of their affair, the mud puppet had shifted its appearance to the goddess’s inhuman beauty and gained the wisdom of a human.

    As a divine creation, Lancer has had a perfect body since birth that can never be altered. The skill grants a permanent rank-up to his Strength and Endurance parameters. The mud puppet’s intrinsic connection to both Gaia and Alaya also grants him boosted Magic Resistance beyond his normal level, as Lancer’s constitution can be called the equal of the Earth’s, from a certain point of view.

    Presence Detection, Rank A+
    Lancer was famous in life for his ability to be able to seemingly know everything about a land upon entering it. This ability actually stems from his connection to Gaia—as a part of the Earth itself made animate, Lancer will immediately know about the natural features and landmarks of any area he sets foot in. He has an especial affinity for locating water sources, because water was one of the primary resources that sustained his old animal friends and he frequently assisted them with the task of locating streams and ponds to drink from. Lancer can also detect unnatural features like towns and cities by the general lack of any natural growth where human settlements occur. This skill also allows Lancer to detect other Servants and mana sources within a twelve-kilometer radius.

    Animal Dialogue, Rank B
    Before he was civilized by the divine harlot, Lancer spent his days as a mud puppet that played with the ancient animals and lesser Phantasmal Beasts of the land. During this time he learned their language, a form of communication that relied more upon intents, which are universal, rather than words, which are not. Because of this, Lancer can communicate perfectly well to modern animals, but they treat him like a creepy uncle because of his seeming transformation into a human through contact with Shamhat. He can speak to animals, but they will try to escape his presence before he can.

    Divinity, Rank (A) B
    As a being literally molded out of nature by divine hands, Lancer technically possesses the divinity of at least a minor nature spirit. This connection is further enhanced by his taking on the physical appearance of the divine harlot. Despite his origins, however, his association with the god-hating demigod Gilgamesh and his desertion of his natural birthplace for life in the human city of Uruk resulted in Lancer effectively abandoning his own divine status. As a result, Lancer’s rank in this skill is lowered by one rank, although he can still negate skills that rely on divine favor, such as Protection of the Faith.

    —Noble Phantasms—

    Enki
    Rank A++ Anti-Army
    Range: 1-99
    Maximum Targets: 1-1000
    In keeping with his simple garments, Lancer’s primary Noble Phantasm appears to be nothing more than an undecorated bronze rod approximately one and a half meters in length. One end is sharpened to a fine point. The bronze rod is almost unbreakable, a necessary quality to withstand the physical stresses caused by Lancer’s enormous strength, and serves as an adequate weapon in general melee.

    The rod’s true power is unleashed when Lancer plants the sharpened end into the ground and calls out the Noble Phantasm’s true name. A massive flood of blood-red, boiling hot water instantly erupts from the rod with enough force to rip entire buildings off their foundations and carve out a massive crater around its epicenter. The flood will negate any attempts to magically traverse it except physical levitation above the surface, and even then the water rises quickly enough that that may not be a viable avenue of escape.

    Any person caught in the flood must contend with both the immense water pressure and temperatures comparable to that of molten lava. Caught Servants suffer an immediate decrease in their Agility parameters dependent on their physical weight; a Servant with lower than Rank C Endurance will be crushed outright by the flood. Even Lancer himself will be affected by the release, although he can simply throw the rod from higher ground to avoid the water.

    The rod merely recreates the image of the primordial sea, which lowers its potential power. Lancer refuses to bring forth the true one, as to do so would breach Gaia’s Greater Reality Marble. He considers the embarrassment of using a weapon based on fakery and illusion far preferable to the indiscriminate destruction of nature that summoning the true primordial sea would result in.

    Gilgamesh
    Rank A Anti-Unit
    Range: N/A
    Maximum Targets: 1
    When Gilgamesh and Enkidu defeated the Bull of Heaven, a livid Ishtar demanded that the two friends pay for the crime. The gods ultimately decided to spare Gilgamesh but passed the judgment of death on Enkidu, who had been deemed an interloper against divine will. The grief-stricken Gilgamesh refused to allow Enkidu to be buried and watched over his body for several days, but finally acquiesced after seeing a maggot fall out of the corpse’s nose. Enkidu’s death made even the mighty Golden King of Uruk, slayer of gods and divine beasts, the greatest ruler the world ever saw, fear his own mortality and desperately search for the secret of immortality.

    This event passed on into legend after Lancer’s demise and as such he cannot control its activation. If an enemy should learn of Lancer’s true identity, then he or she will immediately gain an irrational fear of death that lowers Strength, Agility, and Endurance parameters by one rank. This effect can only be overcome by possessing the highest ranks in skills that negate mental interference such as Bravery or Mental Pollution, and even then it will cause a rank down in the relevant skill or skills. If an enemy should manage to kill Lancer, then events will align to cause the death of the killer, whether at the hands of enemies or themselves in a fit of insanity.
    Last edited by SVNB Backup; January 7th, 2013 at 12:30 AM.

  16. #4076
    Wha- Eva's Avatar
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    @firloz I honestly didn't care about viability because my thought process was more like "I'm bored and I like Sinon. I wonder what I can make up?" You do make a good point though, something that I noticed part of the way through. By then, I just felt like finishing. There's also the problem that [Sinon]>[Everyone else in SAO] for me.

    Speaking of Johnny Black (I think Death Gun was XaXa though), I saw a Kirito (SAO) profile where he was Assassin and I just stopped and stared. There are many better options from SAO for the Assassin class, ignoring the part of Kirito that screams "SABER" (every part).

    On a separate note, just glancing through this thread makes me realize how much history and mythology I don't know.


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  17. #4077
    のワの Nonowa~ Gunbazca's Avatar
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    I amended my Srikandi sheet to give her a better fighting chance; I added Clairvoyance D to her skills and tweaked her Hrusangkali. Still not a toe-to-toe fighter, but now at least she have more options of dealing with opposition. Here's the new Hrusangkali, if you'd rather not backtrack to the actual profile.

    * Hrusangkali [The End of Oath]
    Anti-Personnel
    Target: 1
    Rank: B
    The arrow that slayed Bhisma. Under normal circumstances, this arrow has the power output of a C-ranked NP, but upon fulfillment of the conditions it grows in power until it can overpower many of the strongest Servants. The conditions are:
    1. Whether the target has Divinity of the rank B or higher
    2. Whether the target has fought another Servant, and both survived
    3. Whether the target has an ability that enables him/her to escape or delay death by battle, and/or fight where others would fail due to exhaustion (this can be the skill Battle Continuation (any rank), Independent Action (above B), or specific NPs)
    4. Whether Srikandi have studied the Servant or not, for at least three hours (this duration need not be consecutive)
    Upon the completion of those conditions, Hrusangkali gains a property of striking right into the spiritual core of the Servant fulfilling the criteria listed, bypassing any and all protection upon the Servant however mighty. When such a strike connects, the target must make an Endurance check; failure means that the Servant is slain instantly, while success merely deals a critical damage.

    "MONGLERS!" - Gilgamesh, last words


  18. #4078
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    it was xaxa, I has the dumb.

    I actually REALLY like the idea of Kirito as a rider (with Tonkii as the mount), but yeah he is pretty much a saber through and through. One of these days I'll get around to actually making a sheet for him (though i think there are a couple in this thread already), the main thing that interests me for him is that he should totes have something like Ex rank magic resistance, he can negate 'ANY' spell... but he has to slash it with his sword to do so.

    as for mythology.... Yeah, I know that feel bro. Though if you stay around long enough you will learn enough to get by, probably. For me the trick is to find a myth/legend/tale that you like and then research the heck out of it (usually starting with wikipedia, and if you can find it and have time moving on to the actual source material ie the story they come from). It is a lot of work in many cases though.

    If you are looking for a place to start I would go with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of..._objects#Other I am making it a personal goal to try and eventually have every item on this list as a NP on at least one servant on this site eventually (it will probably be YEARS)
    Last edited by firloz; January 6th, 2013 at 06:23 AM.

  19. #4079
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Mellon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Man View Post
    @ Mellon - Kalevipoeg is hilarious. I can just picture most modern-day Magi pulling their hair out at having to deal with his whimsical nature. He seems like he'd be a better fit for Berserker than Rider. One question though: What exactly is the curse placed upon his sword and is it a factor when he's summoned as a Servant?
    The curse on the blade is basically that it does not discern between friend or foe (which it originally did).

    Now this is normally not an issue when he is wielding it in battle, but when he uses the "boundary version" it becomes a problem. Basically, if you had knowledge of his legend, you could lure him out of the field (by most likely trying to trigger one of his mood swings), after which he would either be deprived of an NP for a significant period (because he cannot actually cancel or recall the NP before it runs out of Prana, since that requires pulling out the sword again) or be seriously wounded by his own NP or possibly even killed if he happens to return into the boundary (since he lacks the AGI to actually dodge the attacks made by his own sword).

    Also, any allies that are outside will activate the NP when they attempt to enter (whereas using the "non-cursed" blade, the blade could differentiate between allies and enemies).

    He seems like he'd be a better fit for Berserker than Rider.
    I wanted to make him a Rider, since he would seem to be a rather.... traditional Berserker. Which is honestly not that interesting. I think he could actually fit into Saber as well.
    Last edited by Mellon; January 6th, 2013 at 09:36 AM.

  20. #4080
    Quote Originally Posted by Gunbazca View Post
    I amended my Srikandi sheet to give her a better fighting chance; I added Clairvoyance D to her skills and tweaked her Hrusangkali. Still not a toe-to-toe fighter, but now at least she have more options of dealing with opposition. Here's the new Hrusangkali, if you'd rather not backtrack to the actual profile.

    * Hrusangkali [The End of Oath]
    Anti-Personnel
    Target: 1
    Rank: B
    The arrow that slayed Bhisma. Under normal circumstances, this arrow has the power output of a C-ranked NP, but upon fulfillment of the conditions it grows in power until it can overpower many of the strongest Servants. The conditions are:
    1. Whether the target has Divinity of the rank B or higher
    2. Whether the target has fought another Servant, and both survived
    3. Whether the target has an ability that enables him/her to escape or delay death by battle, and/or fight where others would fail due to exhaustion (this can be the skill Battle Continuation (any rank), Independent Action (above B), or specific NPs)
    4. Whether Srikandi have studied the Servant or not, for at least three hours (this duration need not be consecutive)
    Upon the completion of those conditions, Hrusangkali gains a property of striking right into the spiritual core of the Servant fulfilling the criteria listed, bypassing any and all protection upon the Servant however mighty. When such a strike connects, the target must make an Endurance check; failure means that the Servant is slain instantly, while success merely deals a critical damage.
    She would have been Cu Chulainn's worst nightmare during the Fifth War, then. He wanders around looking for a fight and then POW, he's dead out of nowhere.

    Could Protection from Arrows deflect Hrusangkali?

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