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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #9441
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Yeah, I knew that, I just like Support because it conveys the meaning better.

    Also, so the increase for her bow and arrow is not damage related, but output related right?
    Correct. It becomes "+" against an opponent more technologically advanced than she is pumping energy into the shot. But that doesn't mean that it automatically becomes Anti-Army.
    If someone shoots a bullet at her, the added energy will only be enough to cancel out the force of the bullet. However, if someone launched a nuke or one of those WMDs that a lot of Indian Servants seem to have, it'll use a lot more.
    Last edited by Funderfullness; October 21st, 2014 at 11:03 PM.
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

    List of Servants I've made

  2. #9442
    Hello! I've registered just so that I can post in this one topic. I only recently became a fan of the Fate series, but have become a teensy bit obsessed, as I often do with new series I get into. Last year, I talked my friends (many of whom also like Fate, to a more reasonable extent) into trying out a Holy Grail War, with each of us summoning different Servants, me assigning stats, and then us sitting down to discuss who would win. It sucked, badly, and will probably remain unfinished. However, we tried again, this time with a 2-faction War like in /Apocrypha, and with a far greater understanding of the universe. This is the one we're still working on, and though I am much more confident in my abilities to make them into reasonable Servants instead of repeating the mistakes of having two Army-summoning NPs, a low tier copy of GoB filled with nothing but swords made by Masamune, and a Berserker who in hindsight probably had no business in that class, I would still like to see what you all have to say about them. Despite a lot of reading this very thread and the wiki, I've only actually watched /Zero and read the Fate route of /stay night, so better safe then sorry.

    Given the large amount of Servants (totaling at 17 with our Ruler and two extra Lancers for reasons that should probably be clear by the end of this post), I'll be posting them two-by-two as the rough drafts are finished, in equivalent pairs beginning with the Lancers, the Servant class of both my own Servant, and that of the other faction's leader.



    Lancer of Gold

    Class: Lancer
    True Name: Mitochondrial Eve
    Master: “Gage”
    Sex: Female
    Height: 167 cm
    Weight: 59 kg
    Alignment: True Neutral


    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: EX
    AGI: B
    MGI: D
    LUC: B
    NP: C+

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance E: Grants protection against magical effects. At E rank, it cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.

    Personal Skills:
    Battle Continuation EX: The strength of vitality for predicaments. Also, the ability to withdraw from combat and reach allied territory alive after being defeated. At this level it is possible to survive even wounds that would be clearly fatal, as long as the Servant is not killed outright.

    Eye of the Mind (False) C: A natural talent to avoid danger on the basis of an innate 6th sense, intuition, or prescience, where accuracy of instinct has been augmented by experience -- somewhat overcoming the problem of visual obstructions that appear in the course of combat. (False) designates that it is an inborn talent rather than a learned skill like Eye of the Mind (True). Living in a harsh environment with no real society and a menagerie of predators, only those able to detect danger like her survived.

    Innocent Monster A: An attribute possessed by Servants whose history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this personal skill cannot be removed. Thought of as a primitive ape more like a beast than a person, Mitochondrial Eve's feet are functionally a second pair of hands, and instead of wearing clothes, she has patches of fur.

    Projectiles (Spears) C: The expertise for throwing projectile weapons; in this case, spears. Her spears are able to match the force behind a recurve bow.

    Potnia Theron E-: The authority of the Earth Mother, which originated 8000 years ago with the goddess of Çatalhöyük. Those born on this earth cannot defy the authority of the Earth Mother. However, Mitochondrial Eve's low ranking, as she is not an actual representation of the Earth Mother, only effects humanity, and her authority is closer to a polite suggestion. Even though she is much older then the goddess of Çatalhöyük, she only recently became a Heroic Spirit, and gained this skill as a result of her position as the root of all humanity.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Mitochondrial Eve: Lucky Mother
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: EX
    Range: -
    Maximum Targets: 1 person
    A Noble Phantasm present in the blood of every human on Earth. The mitochondrial DNA passed from mother to child for the last 125,000 years since Mitochondrial Eve herself, carrying her legend quietly down through the generations. When enough of the population is killed, the lineage thins, and one of her daughters takes her place as Mitochondrial Eve. Upon being killed, Mitochondrial Eve enters the Lesser Grail as usual; however, her Master may use the mitochondrial DNA within their own blood as a catalyst in order to summon another female Heroic Spirit. This Noble Phantasm is bound by the contract she has with them, and another Master can not summon the new Heroic Spirit even with her Master’s Command Spells. This Heroic Spirit will be functionally summoned as a fitting class, but will be labeled as False Lancer.

    Clovis Point: Stone of Promised Victory
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self), Anti-Unit
    Rank: D
    Range: 1, 1-100
    Maximum Targets: 1 person
    A boulder of obsidian which can only appear once and thereafter can only be moved by physically lifting or pushing it. Tools and weapons made from its chips are themselves considered E rank Noble Phantasms.

    Bio
    Background: 125,000 years ago, humankind was still confined to Africa, and Alaya had not yet broken off from Gaia. Little is known of how people lived so far back into the abyss of time, but exist they did. One woman’s unremarkable life was forgotten; she bore a number of children, but all of their names are lost to prehistory. After her death, her soul decayed away, until the advent of genetic research retraced the human family tree back to a single root, her. Recognized finally as the mother of all humanity with an essence like that of Alaya, she ascended to the Throne of Heroes as a paradox, taking on bestial features as an “uncivilized cavewoman” and more advanced features as “the first woman Eve” alike.

    Keywords:

    Mitochondrial Eve: Lucky Mother
    One of the few Noble Phantasms that exists to this day. The literal lifeblood of humanity. The mitochondrial DNA passed from every mother to her children down the entire human family tree. The point where every trail converges is a woman whose name and identity were long ago forgotten, a naked tribeswoman living somewhere in Africa around 125,000 years ago. If Mitochondrial Eve is killed, the Master with whom she has a contract can use the Noble Phantasm within their blood to draw a magic circle capable of summoning a new Servant to replace her. Mitochondrial Eve as a concept cannot be destroyed without the eradication of all people on Earth. Even if a large enough amount of people were killed to reduce Mitochondrial Eve’s surviving lineage to a single branch off of her, she would only cease to be Mitochondrial Eve, and her daughter would become Mitochondrial Eve instead. Her Endurance, which would otherwise be lackluster at best, is immeasurable due to the definition of her existence being tied to Alaya. Though most likely anatomically modern, her appearance has been corrupted by both creationist views of her as the biblical Eve, and uneducated views of her as a beast halfway between human and chimpanzee. These competing images have left her as a stitched-together hybrid of “beautiful woman” and “subhuman ape”.

    Clothing
    Africa was usually hot, so there was no need to start wearing clothes yet. She doesn’t like to do so, as it feels uncomfortable.

    Sangoan
    A culture prominent in Africa between 130,000 and 10,000 years ago, characterized by both light stone spearheads and heavy duty picks.





    Lancer of Blue

    Class: Lancer
    True Name: Chromosomal Adam
    Master: “Guy”
    Sex: Male
    Height: 187 cm
    Weight: 80 kg
    Alignment: True Neutral

    Parameters:
    STR: B
    END: EX
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LUC: C
    NP: D++

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance E: Grants protection against magical effects. At E rank, it cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.

    Personal Skills:
    Battle Continuation EX: The strength of vitality for predicaments. Also, the ability to withdraw from combat and reach allied territory alive after being defeated. At this level it is possible to survive even wounds that would be clearly fatal, as long as the Servant is not killed outright.

    Monstrous Strength D: An ability possessed by monsters and beasts, temporary boost of the Strength parameter by one rank for a time limit determined by the ranking of this skill.

    Innocent Monster A: An attribute possessed by Servants whose history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this personal skill cannot be removed. Thought of as a primitive ape more like a beast than a person, Chromosomal Adam's feet are functionally a second pair of hands, and instead of wearing clothes, he has patches of fur.

    Projectiles (Spears) B: The expertise for throwing projectile weapons; in this case, spears. His spears are able to match the force behind a bullet.

    Potnia Theron -: The authority of the Earth Mother, which originated 8000 years ago with the goddess of Çatalhöyük. Those born on this earth cannot defy the authority of the Earth Mother. Though he gained this skill as recognition for his status as one of the two roots of all humanity, he is unable to use it even in its weakest form.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Chromosomal Adam: Lucky Father
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: EX
    Range: -
    Maximum Targets: 1 person
    A Noble Phantasm present in the blood of every man on Earth. The Y-chromosome passed from father to son for the last 338,000 years since Chromosomal Adam himself, carrying his legend quietly down through the generations. When enough of the population is killed, the lineage thins, and one of his sons takes his place as Chromosomal Adam. Upon being killed, Chromosomal Adam enters the Lesser Grail as usual, however, his Master, if male, may use the Y-chromosome within their own blood as a catalyst in order to summon another male Heroic Spirit. This Noble Phantasm is bound by the contract he has with them, and another Master can not summon the new Heroic Spirit even with his Master’s Command Spells. This Heroic Spirit will be functionally summoned as a fitting class, but will be labeled as False Lancer. If Chromosomal Adam’s Master is female, she is unable to use this Noble Phantasm.

    Clovis Point: Stone of Promised Victory
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self), Anti-Unit
    Rank: D
    Range: 1, 1-100
    Maximum Targets: 1 person
    A boulder of obsidian which can only appear once and thereafter can only be moved by physically lifting or pushing it. Tools and weapons made from its chips are themselves considered E rank Noble Phantasms.

    Bio
    Background: A man lived in Africa, some 338,000 years ago. He was not a modern human, but a member of the ancestral species Homo heidelbergensis, and over one hundred thousand years would pass before H. sapiens came into existence. He had multiple sons, and then died, his soul decaying. It was not until much more recent times that genetic sciences allowed humankind to trace their ancestry; and the Y-chromosomes of every man alive was traced back to that single man in the distant past. Having become a being tied to the very existence of humanity, he ascended to the Throne of Heroes as a paradox, taking on bestial features as an “uncivilized caveman” and more advanced features as “the first man Adam” alike.

    Keywords:
    Chromosomal Adam: Lucky Father
    One of the few Noble Phantasms that exists to this day. Half of the literal lifeblood of humanity. The Y-chromosome passed from every father to his sons down the entire human family tree. The point where every trail converges is a man whose name and identity were long ago forgotten, a naked tribesman living somewhere in Africa around 338,000 years ago. If Chromosomal Adam is killed, the Master with whom he has a contract can use the Noble Phantasm within their blood to draw a magic circle capable of summoning a new Servant to replace him. Chromosomal Adam as a concept cannot be destroyed without the eradication of all men on Earth. Even if a large enough amount of males were killed to reduce Chromosomal Adam’s surviving lineage to a single branch off of him, he would only cease to be Chromosomal Adam, and his son would become Chromosomal Adam instead. His Endurance, which would otherwise be lackluster at best, is immeasurable due to the definition of his existence being tied to Alaya. Though an archaic human species called Homo heidelbergensis, his appearance has been corrupted by both creationist views of him as the biblical Adam, and uneducated views of him as a beast halfway between human and gorilla. These competing images have left him as a stitched-together hybrid of “handsome man” and “subhuman ape”.

    Modesty
    Africa was usually hot, so there was no need to start wearing clothes yet. He refuses to do so, as he finds them uncomfortable. Even if he didn’t, he still doesn’t understand why people would want him to.

    Acheulean
    A culture prominent in Africa between 1,760,000 and 100,000 years ago, characterized by rather clunky stone tools. In particular, it is known for its sharpened hand-axes, which often show signs of no use. They may have been used not as functional tools, but as symbols of the maker’s skill and subsequent genetic value. Notably, the Acheulean industry was not made by modern humans, but ancestral species like Homo ergaster and Homo heidelbergensis.



    Design Notes
    Obviously the two are meant to mirror each other. Before Chromosomal Adam was chosen, I had already started designing stats for him to mirror Mitochondrial Eve's. Though both are hard to kill, she is slightly harder to kill than he is; on the other hand, he is a bit better at killing others. Neither are particularly offensive, though, with only E rank stone spears and hand-axes to use as weapons.

    I realize that having two Servants with three EX ranks each is hardly a good first impression, but I hope that the reasoning behind them makes sense. Battle Continuation, like the Endurance stat, is tied into their being more or less the origin of Alaya. If they were somehow summoned without that trait, their Endurance would probably be around D-C, and they'd have no Battle Continuation at all; nor would they have Potnia Theron, obviously, though it's not like it does much for them anyway.

    Their Noble Phantasm stat, I realize, is... weird. By all rights someone with an EX rank NP should have a higher parameter there, even if their other one is only D rank. I made them so low because Mitochondrial Eve and Chromosomal Adam don't actually affect their namesakes, and are just second attempts for their Masters, therefore not really influencing their NP parameter as much (in theory). Those ranks specifically were chosen because they equaled the same value, 60, but I gave MEve the higher rank because anyone can use it while CAdam is male exclusive. The pluses basically represent the value of the False Lancer summoned; summoning Shakespeare would leave it firmly at D, while Herc would make it D++.

    As for Clovis Point's title, I originally put it in as a joke placeholder and it just kinda stuck. Still haven't had any better ideas, though so I guess that's not the end of the world.

  3. #9443
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    You know the chromosome thing is pretty off considering Nasu earth is only like 10000 years old.

  4. #9444
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    You know the chromosome thing is pretty off considering Nasu earth is only like 10000 years old.
    Yeeeeeeah no.

  5. #9445
    Is it? Again, I haven't read a lot of stuff yet. Basically all I know about the World's history is that Ea destroys by revealing the creation of Earth, or something to that effect, and that Ea (the god) is who shaped it into the planet as we would know it instead of hell.

  6. #9446
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Gilgamesh was the first hero. So yeah, that puts a bit of a wrench in the works.

  7. #9447
    True, he is the oldest Heroic Spirit. I thought that it could be something of a loop-hole/oversight/special condition/what have you where Gilgamesh is the first Heroic Spirit but these two became Heroic Spirits much later, making them younger despite their having been chronologically older.

  8. #9448
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    But you see Gilgamesh is the prototype for every hero's legend as well because he is the eldest. So then how can these two be based on Gilgamesh if Gilgamesh is younger than they are.

  9. #9449
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Humans are weird.

  10. #9450
    "Humans are weird" is an apt description.

    They are not themselves based on Gilgamesh, but their existence as "heroes" who changed mankind, however mundanely they may have done so, was retroactively based upon Gilgamesh after they were discovered to have existed at all. It's not like they're epic heroes, but their legacy is that of the entire human race, making them another sort of hero.

    At least, that's how I see it.

  11. #9451
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    But could you say the same for the Noble Phantasms?

  12. #9452
    僕はね、ヒマワリになりたかったんだ mewarmo990's Avatar
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    The problem is that the definition of "heroes" as far as Thrones of Heroes goes is that they get recognized and recorded in history (and collective human consciousness something something their souls to the Throne). Gilgamesh is the oldest Hero because he's a legend from the oldest human civilizations. Mitochondrial Eve and Chromosomal Adam are hypothetical individuals (and probably not even single fixed organisms at that) that have only been theorized recently based on our current understanding of genetics.

    They're simply genetic ancestors, possibly not even Homo sapiens, just some dumber version of us. If you want to give them personality and character, at best it makes them some other sort of spirit non-human in origin.

    Then again it's not productive to take this too seriously, Nasuverse history being what it is.
    Last edited by mewarmo990; October 22nd, 2014 at 02:00 AM.

  13. #9453
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Just make them 50 foot invincible monster death golems.

  14. #9454
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Imperial's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Just make them 50 foot invincible monster death golems.
    We can watch them duke it out with Avicebron's Adam and Kingprotea.

  15. #9455
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clockehwork View Post
    "Humans are weird" is an apt description.

    They are not themselves based on Gilgamesh, but their existence as "heroes" who changed mankind, however mundanely they may have done so, was retroactively based upon Gilgamesh after they were discovered to have existed at all. It's not like they're epic heroes, but their legacy is that of the entire human race, making them another sort of hero.
    At least, that's how I see it.
    But that's not how it works. Gil has every single Noble Phantasm. Noble Phantasms do, without fault, track back to his treasury. Therefor there can't be hundreds of thousands of years old Noble Phantasms, then, now can there?

  16. #9456
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    But that's not how it works. Gil has every single Noble Phantasm. Noble Phantasms do, without fault, track back to his treasury. Therefor there can't be hundreds of thousands of years old Noble Phantasms, then, now can there?
    If you don't think that Gil can be the source of NPs that predate him chronologically then you aren't wanking Gil hard enough.

  17. #9457
    僕はね、ヒマワリになりたかったんだ mewarmo990's Avatar
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    Well, the simple explanation would be that the old things were among the many "treasures of the earth" that were found and put in his vault.

    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    Gil has every single Noble Phantasm. Noble Phantasms do, without fault, track back to his treasury. Therefor there can't be hundreds of thousands of years old Noble Phantasms, then, now can there?
    Gil does not have every NP ever to exist, that's been known since the original game.

  18. #9458
    Gil doesn't even need his treasury for two of their three NPs, since they're in his veins and all, and he is still the "source" of them because he is the oldest Heroic Spirit who has them. As for the other one, he does have everything which could be thought up by humanity if I remember right, so it's not like him having a prototype Clovis Point is anywhere near out of the question. CAdam and MEve's being heroes retroactively just means they get it retroactively as well.

  19. #9459
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    Quote Originally Posted by mewarmo990 View Post
    Gil does not have every NP ever to exist, that's been known since the original game.
    Except he does. He has every NP, or the basis of that NP. Avalon, Excalibur, Vasavi Shakti etc are not excluded.

  20. #9460
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six
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    If this was Nasu, I think it's more likely he'd treat these two as being divine spirits.

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