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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #11521
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    it's official enough to be in the game files?
    So if it's fake, it's "officially fake."
    I am quite curious. Cause I wonder if TM were savvy enough to predict this and just throw in a bunch of BS names. Though given the abysmal performance of the game, the idea they anticipated somebody digging through the game files seems unlikely.
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  2. #11522
    Er, hello! Lovely to meet you all. I was directed here because I'm fairly new to the whole Nasuverse thing and, well, I wanted to cobble together something. Two somethings, in point of fact. I've done one (this one) and posted it elsewhere, but I wanted some expert opinion on the ideas presented and I was informed that this was the place to go. I hope this is up to a reasonable standard; again, not suuuuuper up on stuff that isn't easily accessible via fan wiki, and while I don't think anything's OP, I could quite easily be wrong. Anyway, here they are!

    Oh, and I'm using the format from the previous forum for this; I just prefer it, and there wasn't (to my knowledge, could be wrong)

    Winifred Owen
    Status:-
    Primary Class: Archer
    Potential Classes: Caster
    True Name: Winifred Owen
    Gender: Female
    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Parameters:-
    Strength: D
    Endurance: A+
    Agility: D
    Prana: B+
    Luck: D+
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Class Skills:-
    Independent Action - B+
    "There is no spirit that remains unbroken by war. Instead, they wander, as Owen now wanders. Alone, with only a pistol in her hand, she walks and walks, seeking the other side of a bridge in France, and finding none."

    History:-
    Move her into the sun—
    Gently its touch awoke her once,
    At home, whispering of fields unsown.
    Always it woke her, even in France,
    Until this morning and this snow.
    If anything might rouse her now
    The kind old sun will know.

    Think how it wakes the seeds—
    Woke, once, the clays of a cold star.
    Are limbs so dear-achieved, are sides
    Full-nerved,—still warm,—too hard to stir?
    Was it for this the clay grew tall?
    —O what made fatuous sunbeams toil
    To break earth's sleep at all?

    -- "Futility", Wilfred Owen (adapted for genderbend)

    Description:-
    Winifred Owen is an almost archetypal Shropshire lass, tall and hearty, but of a more bookish bent than her rural upbringing might imply - though her education never progressed to university level, due to the limits of her family's ability to stump up the cash sans first-class scholarship. Her dark hair is worn short and close, militarily so, and she tries to hold herself with the commanding mien that befits an officer of the British Army, whose khaki field uniform she wears and whose service revolver she forces herself not to clutch until her knuckles turn white. This works up until you look into those deep, dark, haunted eyes of hers; she has a true thousand-yard stare, along with barely-treated neurasthenia and a battered Military Cross pinned to her chest; the one she never earned in her male life. Her Phantasms are everything cruel and merciless about the First World War, and she would not have it any other way. The men must have a voice. The men must be remembered. It's up to her.

    Alone.

    Personal Skills:-
    Battle Continuation: A
    "What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
    Only the monstrous anger of the guns."

    -- "Anthem for Doomed Youth", Wilfred Owen

    This is Winifred's key skill, allowing her to not so much push through the pain barrier as bludgeon it with the butt of her revolver until the splinters are cowering in the far corner of the room. She will walk, and continue to walk, a whistle sounding in her ears despite what the enemy may do.

    Eye For Art: B
    "To a Certain Poetess."
    -- Dedication of "Dulce et Decorum est" referring to Jessie Pope, Wilfred Owen

    This is more specific than the standard Eye For Art skill, in that it only really applies to poetry. However, she has Grand Admiral Thrawn levels of ability to analyse that particular form, and can divine the author's motives with no small amount of finesse. The other stuff? Well, different officers in the Artists' Rifles were more suited to it.

    Protection From Arrows: B+
    "But poor old Jim, 'e's livin' an' 'e's not;
    'E reckoned 'e'd five chances, an' 'e's 'ad;
    'E's wounded, killed, and pris'ner, all the lot—
    The ruddy lot all rolled in one. Jim's mad."

    -- "The Chances", Wilfred Owen

    Winifred's well-suited to area of effect attacks - the heavier the fire coming her way, the less damage she takes from hits and the more likely she is to evade them. Additionally, Luck checks made to dodge projectile attacks of any kind gain an additional boost from her Prana stat. She has to live, you see. She has to, if she's ever to go home and never live to see another war.

    Protection From Wind: A+
    "Gas! Gas! Quick, boys!–An ecstasy of fumbling,
    Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;"

    -- "Dulce et Decorum est", Wilfred Owen

    How could she pass up protection from the vilest death imaginable? Gas attacks do not affect her; wind may cut and sandstorms may hurt, but the effects are deadened and barely impede her. However, those nearby must take a Luck check to avoid the effects of the gas, sandstorm, hurricane or whatever being increased for them.

    Territory Creation: C
    "Then Abram bound the youth with belts and straps,
    And builded parapets and trenches there,
    And stretchèd forth the knife to slay his son.
    When lo! an Angel called him out of heaven,
    Saying, Lay not thy hand upon the lad,
    Neither do anything to him. Behold,
    A ram caught in a thicket by its horns;
    Offer the Ram of Pride instead of him.
    But the old man would not so, but slew his son. . . ."

    -- "Parable of the Old Men and the Young", Wilfred Owen

    Winifred can potentially access this skill. Since it turns her surroundings into the French village of Joncourt, around the time of her death... she doesn't tend to try too hard.

    Weapon:-
    The Mark VI .455 Webley Self-Extracting revolver is a great club of a gun, firing a potent cartridge accurately and without the wrist-shattering recoil of most heavy pistols. Unlike most, however, hers comes with a few accessories. She has a dedicated speedloader of the Watson design, a detachable stock allowing it to be used as a carbine, and even a fold-out bayonet attachment. More than that, it is her revolver. She will load and fire, in the face of whatever may be thrown at her, and she will do her duty as she did before. It is a memory of those who died before her, and all who died after in the horror of the mud and wire.

    Noble Phantasms:-

    Strange Meeting
    Song of the Undone Years
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit... sort of
    Range: 1-10
    Targets: 1
    Description:-
    The target gains an exact copy of themselves that proceeds to attack them, focusing on them above all else. The clone's stats are one rank lower than the originals, but any and all buffs the original was under the effects of are copied to the clone - and the buffs will not fade over time. Additionally, the clone does bonus damage for each unit the target has killed during the battle. It is extremely mana-intensive and Winifred can only keep one clone up at a time; in addition, the clone will laser-focus on killing the original with whatever means it has at its disposal. The clone will be dispelled upon the death or serious incapacitation of the original, but can also be killed.
    --
    I am the enemy you killed, my friend.
    I knew you in this dark; for so you frowned
    Yesterday through me as you jabbed and killed.
    I parried; but my hands were loath and cold.
    Let us sleep now...

    -- "Strange Meeting", Wilfred Owen

    Dulce Et Decorum Est
    Bitter as the Cud of Vile, Incurable Sores
    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-Army
    Range: 1-500
    Targets: Infinite
    Description:-
    Gas. Every gas. Chlorine, phosgene, mustard gas, sarin, and all the foul things that stain the air, all boil from the walking, waking terror of a wounded mind, burning through the lungs and hearts and weakened bodies. Protection from Wind offers some defence, but it almost certainly will not be enough. The gases take whom they may, and care not for whose side Owen is on. Does no direct damage, but applies a tiny DoT effect that stacks with every breath, that deals additional damage to people already wounded.
    --
    But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
    And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime...
    Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
    As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

    In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
    He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
    -- "Dulce Et Decorum Est", Wilfred Owen


    ---

    Okay then. I'll put Jessie Pope (the non-genderbend of the two) in another post shortly after this one, but any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for your help, and I hope I haven't wasted your time.

    If nothing else, the War Poets are always a good read. =]
    Last edited by Gentlewoman With Thistledown Hair; August 7th, 2015 at 06:55 PM.

  3. #11523
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Wiseman's Avatar
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    This Rider/Caster is my pride. I really made her with love and did a lot of research with her history as well as creating my own story out of her background. She is my masterpiece although a lot said she is quite OP. I'd say, she's quite fine as she is.

    Rider
    Name: Pharaoh Hatshepsut
    Aliases: Foremost among Noble Ladies, Maatkare
    Age: 20s
    Gender: Female
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Servant Class: Rider/Caster
    Attribute: Sun

    APPEARANCE

    Appearance:

    Rider is 156 centimeters tall and weighs 46 kg. She has a slender physique, brown skin and charcoal and gold colored hair. Her hair’s edges near the bangs were tied by golden strings and iron clips.She has a pair of chestnut grey eyes. She wears a traditional Egyptian makeup composing of long thinned eyelashes, blue colored around her eyes are blue paint and glitters, and below the eyelids are instead colored by red with a sharp tattoo from the chink of the eye until under it. She also pinned on her ears a pair of golden cylindrical earrings.

    Rider wraps her body with a transparent linen gown. She covers her breasts with a pair of silver and bronze bras and her reproductive area with a golden thong. She covers her neck with golden neck collars, her wrists with several golden, jade and ruby bracelets, and numerous rings made from a variety of gems. She wears a pair of brown sandals with embedded gems as footwear. She also carries around a Pharaoh Scepter.

    When in combat, she covers her head with a nemes crown and an Egyptian Cobra Goddess Wadjet, hides her face behind the mask of Amun, and wraps her shoulders with crimson shoulder straps. She covers her arms and legs with golden and red colored greaves and leggings and her hands with white linen gloves. She then daunts a bronze armor on her chest to cover her breasts’ shape in order to appear as a man. She wears a cape on her back that is colored gold on the outside and white in the inside with the image of “Amun” as engraved on the clothing.

    IMAGE CREDITS TO ICE BANSHEE

    eRSle29.jpg

    PERSONALITY

    Personality:

    Benevolent, courageous, peace-loving, warm-hearted, confident, magnanimous and artistic are simply some of the great personalities of the first female Pharaoh and ruler in the history of mankind. She is a lover of beautiful things of the world, whether they are perfections or imperfections, and will have the optimistic view that everything will and is meant to become a beauty that men and gods will observe. She has an “aesthetical” view on the world around her, but, at the same time, can see through the shell and within, to appreciate and to uphold the meaning behind everything. She adores the godsthat are relevant to the life of the land under her horizon, and loves them due to gratitude of giving her a divine blood, while also holds respect in other gods of different places, erecting temples for them. This is an example of her broad-minded yet audacious attitude, having had the courage to usurp the throne as a female heir in spite of a tradition and a nation that had male pharaohs ruled them since the beginning of time.

    However, Rider was not a pure-hearted woman as she seemed to be. She is a cunning woman that will do anything to accomplish her “ideal vision”. A great example was her vision of a “great Egypt”, that due to her not being a Pharaoh, was near impossible to achieve, so, she did all she could muster, power, deceit and propaganda in order to usurp the throne over her nephew and step son, Thutmose III. She has extreme vanity in her beauty, though has the will to strongly abandon the appearance of a woman to portray the act of a man as a pharaoh. She has extreme pride, not in herself, but to her creations, her temples and the horizon that is Egypt. She believes that they were her artistic impressions of true beauty, both aesthetically and philosophically and that they represent her feelings for everything around her, to the point that she may in her utmost ability, describe them filled with pride. She also despises and forsakes people that resents the gods of Egypt, though may be a bit understanding to other followers of other gods.She, when in feeling of ecstasy due to beauty, has the tendency to ignore those that she is unable to see in her horizon, however, this is subconsciously done by her. This is one of her regrets that she keeps on lamenting on every time she reminisces her past.

    As a Heroic Spirit, Rider is extremely protective of herself, especially her status as both a Pharaoh and a divine person. She will not let anyone insult or ridicule her appearance, and kingship. She has respect for people, even that that may have been evil incarnates, but those that tarnish her glory will definitely feel the scorch of the Sun’s heat. When her Master will question her strength or identity, she’ll simply smile and murmur that her life has always been filled with criticism and doubts and she is used to such interrogation. Thus, she will simply display ‘beauty beyond human comprehension’ to deliver a power beyond her even when she was a live. She has the mother-caring attitude in her, when not dressed in her battle clad armor and nemes crown while wielding her very majestic Pharaoh scepter. She, however, tries hard to become a successful ‘mother’ figure to her Master, in a certain sense, as such a way to atone to the mistake she made in handling her step son and nephew, Thutmose III. That is part of her wish for the grail, to be able to reconcile the misunderstanding with her step son. Even as a heroic spirit, she still seeks beauty and will continue on to turn the beauty that she sees and feels even more beautiful.



    HISTORY

    History:


    Although most civilizations see women as lower class relative to men, in Egypt it wasn’t as bad as it was, however, it was still abhorrent for a woman to be a king, let alone be a leader. Yet, a woman did become a king and a leader, and was able to transform a kingdom to one of the great dynasties ever created in the history of mankind. She was the daughter of a pharaoh, a sister of a pharaoh, and the eventual step mother of her successor. She is the first Pharaoh in history, Hatshepsut, called the “Foremost of the Noble Ladies.” She was born on 1508 BC and lived for 5 decades before her life ceased. After her death, her retainers were nowhere to be found, the Egyptians, who were conservative people, destroyed her monuments, statues and temples, to erase a trace of women kingship and to reuse the stone to recreate temples, however a lot still survived and is famous today.

    Hatshepsut was born as the daughter of Pharaoh Thutmose I and was sister to the later Thutmose II, Pharaohs of the 18th Dynasty. She was a girl, even in her young age, was already beautiful and significant, and was if not compared to her Nefertiri, was truly the charm of Egypt. But, her beauty that she adored upon looking at a pool of water, was not beauty that she seeks. That was when the young girl dream of the ideal aesthetic. At her father’s decree to the people of Egypt, the fifth year of his reign, the young Hatshepsut looked at his father, with eyes of admiration due to being the king of this land, and then glanced to the people, with joys of praised, but, what caught her eyes the most was the horizon. As the Sun sets, the skies turned red like the Nile River, she realized the gods were always watching them, and if the gods would always see this scenery then, she thought, “The Horizon of Egypt is beautiful and everything within it. But, it's not enough. There's no way that this beauty is as it is. It should be greater as it is the land my father rules. Then, maybe I can make this place beautiful. Indeed, like me who likes to wear colorful jewelries and crests, I'll make this land radiant in magnificent luxury.”

    After the death of her brother, Thutmose II, Thutmose III, the heir to the throne, was still a little child. Hatshepsut thought of this as a sign and blessing from Amun for her to take the throne of Egypt. She was not content with being a regent behind Thutmose III, so, she devised a claim, which she had prayed for Amun, the god of gods, to grant her and to bless her dearest wish and vision for Egypt. She claimed to her people that the god Amun took the form of her father and bedded her mother, which led to her being a daughter of a god and the god Amun-Ra spoke to her saying, “Welcome my sweet daughter, my favorite, the king of Upper and Lower Egypt, Maatkare, Hatshepsut. Thou art the king, taking possession of the Two Lands.” She then dressed as a king, wore a false beard, but she never intended to appear as a man, instead, she claimed herself to be the “female falcon”. Her success in usurpingwas largely to this claim, in honor of her father’s memory, and the loyal support of officials that hold key elements in the government.

    During her reign, the economy and military prowess of Egypt prospered. By creating trade route to foreign lands and a diplomatic policy while strengthening the army and making campaigns against old foes like the Canaans. While she was politically versatile, she was also militarily wise and skilled, even comparing her skill in the arms with the goddess of War, Sekmeth. She later created and renovated numerous temples.

    She established Obelisks and temples in the Temple of Complex of Karnak, renovated Thutmose I’s temple, created numerous temples in the honor of Amun-Ra, Sekmeth and Mut (the latter two being the goddesses associated with her) and also created the Spedos Artemidos and Chapelle Rouge. Out of all the temples, monuments and palaces she had erected, the most notable and most historically significant among everything was the Mortuary Temple named after her and was dedicated to her divine father, the god Amun-Ra.

    The Djeser Djeseru: “Great Temple of Million Years” is the greatest single achievement Hatshepsut has ever accomplished, aside from her multi-construction and reconstruction of various temples. It was a large temple that later became a temple complex for other pharaohs. It was created through an unusual architectural design in her time. It was made so that it was aligned with the Sun, that at a certain axis, the Sun will shine into Amun-Ra’s statue inside the temple . However, that was not the only reason why it was her greatest asset. What made it one of the greatest architectural existences in history, was that it is a colonnaded structure of perfect harmony, a thousand years before the Parthenon, the Djeser Djeseru was the closest to Classical Architecture a civilization has.Djeser-Djeseru sits atop a series of terraces that once were graced with gardens. It is built into a cliff face that rises sharply above it.

    Djeser-Djeseru and the other buildings of the Deir el-Bahri complex are considered to be among the great buildings of the ancient world. It was as structure that forsook the megalithic method of old temples and used the new design to create a temple which allowed active worship to the gods, requiring the presence of participants to create its majesty. It was a creation of an architecture that Hatshepsut had envisioned for Egypt: a palace with Amun’s light blessing the righteous people of Egypt, and through the light, under the brazen Horizon, true aesthetics of religious commitment was seen. This was a turning point in Egyptian history. Although Hatshepsut was not the one who supervised the building project, she was the one who provided and paved the way for its creation, and its existence was attributed to her and all its glory.

    Towards the end of her reign, Egypt had become a powerful nation which would later on be inherited by Thutmose III who had become a general. He will then lead the 18th Dynasty of Egypt to prominence. Hatshepsut would later die due to a skin disease that would cause her bones to deteriorate. She died when she reached her 5th decade of age.

    Sometime after Hatshepsut’s death, Thutmose III released all of his resentment against his step mother, and will try his best to erase any evidence of her kingship of Egypt. She, however, would escape this fate, and most of her temples will still stand and exist until the present era. She died becoming one of the most successful Egyptian Pharaohs.

    However, her desire and drive, the vision of a beautiful Egypt under the Sun, was never completed in her perspective. She was never contented with what she had accomplished but did not regret on how her reign ended. . .except for one which involved her step son, Thutmose III. She still harbors deep desire to continue what she started, “To create the most beautiful personification of aesthetic and the heart filled with meaning, under the horizon of Ra as a deliverer of Hathor, and the identity of Sekmeth.”


    Homeground Boost: Egypt

    Catalyst For Summoning: A slab from the Unfinished Obelisk


    PARAMETERS

    Strength~
    D
    Endurance~ D
    Agility~ C
    Mana~ A
    Luck~ A+
    NOBLE PHANTASM~ A

    CLASS SKILLS

    Name: Magic Resistance
    Description: The resistance against magecraft.
    Rank: C

    Name: Riding
    Description: The ability to maneuver most vehicles excluding those of the Phantasmal Beasts kind.
    Rank: A

    PERSONAL SKILLS

    Name: Imperial Privilege
    Description: The skill that gives abilities that are essentially impossible or implausible to obtain for the owner yet gives an availabilty due to the insistence and personality of the owner. In Rider's case, skills such as Territorial Creation, Military Tactics, A form of Egyptian Magecraft, Mystic Eyes, swordsmanship and other lesser abilities are available.
    Rank: A+


    Name: Divinity
    Description: The offspring of god of the gods, Amun-Ra and associating herself to the goddesses Mut and Sekmeth. Although it was a claim, it was accepted the Egyptians and the various inscriptions on ruins and hieroglyphs strengthened its case, making her divine in blood.
    Rank: C

    Name: Charisma
    Description: The ability to lead a country.
    Rank: B

    Name: Erosion of Flesh
    Description: Her skin illness that plagued and eventually kill her during her lifetime. As long as she stays long under the Sun, this skill takes toll to her body, reducing her stats slowly. As such, she requires to stay out of the Sun for at least 12 hours, reducing the cycle of her Tekhenu Amun-Ra with a half for every after a cycle. While her greatest strength was the Sun, it was her greatest weakness as well.
    Rank: C

    NOBLE PHANTASMS

    NOBLE PHANTASMS
    Userhat-Amun

    Name:
    Userhat-Amun: “Sanctuary of the Sun God”
    Rank: A
    Description:


    Almost all Pharaohs in the New Kingdom had built in the Temple Complexes of Karnak. Amongst all of the Pharaohs, Rider made the most contribution, and among her many erections of temples, the Red Chapel or Chappelle Rouge was one of her largest constructions in the complex.The chapel was placed within the Palace of Ma’at, the sanctuary constructed for Karnak by Rider honoring one of the oldest of deties. The chapel was famous in processions and holidays, where it would be placed on a solar barque along with the statue of Amun, two Osiris monuments with the image of Rider, two tall obelisks which guards either side of the chapel, and a throne just before the entrance to the sanctuary.

    The inscriptions on the chapel and procession had many interpretations such as Rider’s becoming of a deity and Rider offering to the god Amun as, “The Good God, Lady of the Two Lands, Daughter of Re, Hatshepsut.” It was known that the monuments built in Karnak were that of Riders and would later be the reason why it was said that the inscriptions possess the creation of these monuments as well as the text that asserts Amun-Ra, Rider’s divine father, came to her and told her to build a tall and magnanimous obelisk just for him. This message would turn into the two tallest obelisks (in her time) which along with the Osiris statues, guards the crimson shrine.

    As a Noble Phantasm, the Chappelle Rouge manifests as, “Userhat-Amun: Sanctuary of the Sun God”, the personal sacred Solar Barque of Rider blessed by the god of gods, Sun and Wind, Amun-Ra. Userhat-Amun was blessed by Amun-Ra because not only was it was created in his honor and dedication which he had requested from his daughter, Rider, it was an important aspect of Egyptian theology and barque shrines during the 18th Dynasty of the New Kingdom, and was a prominent shrine for Amun-Ra in Karnak. It also contains,from the structure, decoration and complex history of the Red chapel, divulge secrets about the reign of Rider and the 18th Dynasty of Egypt.

    The ship possessed the “sun of Ra” ( due to Amun Ra’s divine blessing), materializing as a hot blazing star that shines on the night sky. The twin obelisks which points to the sky, acts as both the defensive and the offensive system of the Solar Barque while the chapel itself, where the throne of Rider resides, is the power source of the Noble Phantasm, where a bulb of Dendera appears.

    The ship continuously emits a blazing light, like the Sun, which if Rider decrees, can burn select or everything which the Sun rays can reach. The Sun rays can burn an entire tree for just a matter of seconds and an entire forest for a couple of minutes. The obelisks acts as a security system, that creates a veil of ‘Sun Barrier’

    (transparent shield made of divine flames of the Sun which reduces projectile attacks by half, 75% [noon to 3pm] and 25% [midnight to 3am] and disables close-range intrusion [due to the sweltering heat] to Servants with Endurance lower than the rank of this Noble Phantasm)
    around the Solar Barque, that both causes the Sun rays and the defensive shield around it.

    During the peak of day (noon to 3 o’clock) this Noble Phantasm is 1.5 of its strength, while during midnight (12 mn to 3 am) is .5 weaker, and during the course of regular hours, the strength is in normal output. This ups and downs of power resembles a sine curve.
    Being also blessed by the same god possessing the nature of the Wind, the ship can create whirlwinds and twisters, through the use of the Obelisks and it is possible to combine the two elements to form a massive firestorm. This, however, will drain large amounts of prana.

    The ship is activated by praying to the god, Amun-Ra, and from the sky, a floating crimson gold barge, which is the ship, will arrive (like how space battleships descend from the sky). Rider is then teleported (like how UFOs warp people from below) to the throne room of the chapel. She then stabs her Pharaoh scepter to a some sort of ‘key hole’ in front of her. After that, the entire ship will release an array of luminous radiance and the Dendera bulb on the room will glow after tracing numerous Egyptian linings (akin to wires) and hieroglyphs, brightening them, and illuminating the entire sanctuary. The Obelisks, in sync with the light of Dendera, glows as well, with the inscriptions carved on it glowing in tandem with the ship’s fluorescent.

    Rider describes the Noble Phantasm as, “the majesty of the majesties, true beauty that only gods can fathom.” She implies that the ship was her trusted treasure and that it carved the history of her reign in its entirety.


    Type: Anti-Army


    Tekhenu Amun-Ra

    Name: Tekhenu Amun-Ra: “Skylight Pillar, Illuminating the Horizon”
    Rank: B
    Description:

    Rider was known in history as a builder of temples and monuments. One of her famous creations was Obelisks which safeguards important temples and temple complexes that she had erected and renovated. She had once created twin obelisks that were the tallest in its time and one of her obelisks still stand today. There was, however, a single-obelisk that was unfinished in its construction. It was the largest existing obelisk, one third larger than the Lateran Obelisk if finished in its construction. It was a magnificent “Pillar of Skylight” that Rider had envisioned in her life in order to compliment the high and mighty Lateran Obelisk.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it manifests itself as a complete manifestation of the skylight that symbolizes Rider’s Horizon. It’s a bronze and gold Obelisk, with numerous inscriptions about the light of the aspects of the Sun Gods in Egypt. As it was the petrified remains of the sun disc of Atem, it’s a Noble Phantasm that acts as a “Pillar of the Sun”. Like the obelisks of the Userhat-Amun, it’s a powerful defensive barrier but acts as the “source of all Obelisks” that Rider creates. With the creation of the pillar, many Obelisks can be erected in areas where Rider’s territory stretches, or her temples are present. The Obelisks that were built through magecraft will then glow upon reaching its peak, and will trace a ‘sunlight ray’ to the core, the “Tekhenu Amun-Ra”.

    The obelisks then trace each other’s presence and create a unified system of offense and defense. The obelisks were after all created to defend against invaders of temples. Reversing the concept, it’s a powerful offensive barrier to those that desires to infiltrate Rider’s territory. Unlike the obelisks of the Userhat-Amun, the obelisks unified by the Noble Phantasm instead releases ‘fire beams’ from the light of the Sun. The more Obelisks erected and nearer they are to the core, the stronger the fire beams are when discharged. (for reference, check Prism Tower of Red Alert 2)

    What makes it different from the other Obelisks is that, it acts as an ‘artificial Sun’ (due to all obelisks being considered petrified remains of Atem) and through the blessing of Amun-Ra, the god of the Sun. When it stands, the entire territory of Rider is considered blessed by the Sun, thus, the time of day will always spring around from Sunrise to Sunset, after Sunset, the Sun rises again, without the moon ever appearing or darkness ever shrouding. Under this phenomenon, the “zodiacal light” shines in the twilight sky and the “solar pillar” gleams during the dusk of the day, each becoming the color of the Horizon, with the stars, though should not be present, twinkles overhead.

    When this structure perishes, all Obelisks manifested through its power collapses.


    Type: Bounded-field, Barrier


    Djeser-Djeseru

    Name: Djeser-Djeseru: “Great Temple of a Million of Years”
    Rank: E~A++
    Description:

    The ultimate Noble Phantasm of Rider which came from her identity as the most successful Pharaoh in constructing and reconstructing numerous temples and the materialization of her ideal of the “true beauty under the Horizon”.Rider once envisioned an Egypt filled with beauty and splendor under the Horizon which the gods oversees. Of her greatest achievements, the creation temple complexes were her mightiest assets, and one of them, a single-temple stood amongst others.

    The Mortuary Temple of Queen Hatshepsut, also known as the “Holy of the Holiest,” the greatest temple that was 1000 years before the erection of the Parthenon while innovating and turning the history of Egypt’s temple and palace making. It was a temple built to the honor of her divine father, Amun-Ra, and herself, and majestically, sunlight pierces through the walls of the Temple, illuminating it with divine radiance.

    However, this Noble Phantasm is not the temple alone, rather it’s the main temple of temple complexes created around the main temple, and the temple complexes in Karnak that Rider had created and renovated, the monuments and sanctuaries she erected far and wide in Egypt and the limitless structures that would recreate “the horizon of Light” which was the splendor of “utmost beauty” that Rider dreams of. It’s a noble phantasm filled with the constructed, unconstructed, and ideal temples, palaces and chapels that Rider had envisioned in her life.

    But, the source of this ideal was not the material structure itself, but what was inside it and what it pertains to, “the most beautiful personification of aesthetic and the heart filled with meaning”. It resembles and personifies the “inner beauty” ofEgypt that she nurtured, the people that worshipped the gods, and the temples she erected, as well as those who had given their lives in order to accomplish the offerings to the heavens. It stretches from the past, present and to the future, as she decrees and believes, that the beauty she sees on the Horizon is in axis from all eras. Thus, the creation and recreation of temples during her time, the present era and those that she would have had made if she lives today.

    The main temple’s true size is already big enough to swallow the entire Ryuudoji (not just the temple) but Rider can decrease its size, conserving prana in the process. It’s a High-Thaumaturgy, a subspecies of a reality marble, that creates numerous Magic Circles in her territory, with varying sizes. The magic circle acts as the “birth place” of the temples that she will build. This creation takes time and will need to be blessed by the Sun’s presence for 3 days. After 3 days, numerous temples are simultaneously created and erected around and outside the main temple, Djeser-Djeseru. Rider can create more temples, and will take 3 days, or less, depending on the size and prana supply. While more temples are created, her territory grows bigger but as this goes on, the duration of creation of temples increases.

    The temples acts as gateways to other temples, and forms a labyrinth and pillars, and palaces of temple defense that safeguards the main temple where Rider resides. She activates the entirety of the Noble Phantasm by stabbing her Pharaoh scepter to a key hole in front of her throne. Numerous Dendera bulbs hanging around the ceiling are turned on, Egyptian hieroglyphs, linings and carvings brightens, and the whole temple “sings” in its activation. The light across the hall radiates like the Sun, and as if a giant bulb, the temple’s light penetrates the sky. It’s a massive activation that all Servants of the Holy Grail War will sense.

    Each temple has their own rank as Noble Phantasms, own properties, and own capabilities and structures, and are all, individually, considered Bounded-fields. However, the control structure, and the encryptions of their creation can only be found in the main temple’s throne room. A high level Caster servant can use her proficiency in magecraft to determine the bounded-field’s nature and abilities while a Servant with a high sixth sense can figure out when and where are the traps are, depending on the proficiency of the skill, it may or may not happen all the time.
    Each defenses of the temples vary as they themselves vary with each other:

    · E rank Temples have weak defenses like firing poisoned arrows (from the poison of a cobra) from its walls, or revolving trap doors and trap hole filled with spikes and a ‘sea’ of snakes swimming through the corridor.

    · D rank Temples have slightly better defenses with a quick sand that drains the enemies’ life force and/or prana, and leads them to a void of nothingness, Egpytian spirits roaming around to possess and hindrance the mind, giant whirling blades slicing through the wall, and a switch that when stepped on, the entire temple’s ceiling presses onto the floor.

    · C rank Temples defenses have similar mechanism as D rank Temples with slightly wider, stronger and unpredictable traps.

    · B rank Temples are beyond C rank Temples, which have a room filled with a swarm of scarabs, Magical Beasts that are insanely fast and can penetrate the skin and drain anyone of prana and life force. They appear as petrified antiques across the floors and walls, but when detecting life, these will awaken. There are also Temples that have D-C rank defenses but has rooms that led to another temple but that temple is merely a mirage of a ‘desert field’ which sands crawls onto the intruders’ bodies and suck them out of life and/or prana. There is also a temple that houses numerous zombified mummies, strong enough to kill an ordinary human being.

    · A rank Temples are the real deal. These are temples that possess a room filled with the essence of the Egyptian Curse, anyone entering it will obtain the curse, and the curse, unlike what Rider’s has in her eyes, are stronger. It is strong enough to amplify the effects and lead to quick death. To Servants, it will be as worse as them neglecting a command seal while their prana is being sucked out. Servants with B rank or higher Magic Resistance can defend against this amplified Egyptian Curse. There are A rank temples that has the power to create a ‘mirage’ of oneself, an illusion which is considered a High-Thaumaturgy on its own, that instead of targeting the body, it aims for the mind and into the heart. It reflects one’s own to his or to another, opening scars and traumatic events, or even, have them fight their own mirror. Servants with A rank defense or higher in mental hindrances cannot be affected. The power of this temple is more effective on Berserker class servants. And, a temple that, the moment an intruder enters to, its floor collapses leading to a pit of black sand mixed with scarabs and poisonous snakes that swarms around the caught prey.
    · A+ rank temples are the most powerful of all the temples, and representation of gods that she adored. There are a handful of them and majority were built the closest to the main temple. The temple’s defenses involves small sphinx golems bearing an image of a woman with a beard, and large Osiris statues made of rock. They are powerful creatures that are close to Magical Beasts, but weaker, however, their numbers are a threat. There is also a room that has the power of her Solar Barque, and burns everything that is inside. The most powerful of the A+ rank temples, are those that safeguard the gate to the main temple. This temple is guarded by a Criosphinx whose body is made of fire and sand, and a Divine Beast that shakes the earth when it roars.
    This is also the temple where Rider would place her “Tekhenu Amun-Ra”.

    She can create even more kinds of temples even those that possess modern weaponry as she gains knowledge from it through the Grail.
    Rider can re-arrange the temples to remake and re-establish her defenses or even add a temple on a pre-existing temple. She can turn off the Noble Phantasm whenever she pleases to stop it from consuming prana and instead, will become colorless and only appear as ruined buildings. She can choose which temples to turn off, not shutting down the entire complex entirely. However, if the main temple collapses, all others are brought down altogether.

    The temple complex cannot be destroyed from the outside , not because they are insanely powerful in terms of defense, but due to their nature as a part of a ‘reality marble’, they exist in a separate plane of existence . Only inside where can one destroy a temple. Unfortunately, the temples are ‘infrastructures created to adore the gods’ and are blessed and fortified by them. Only activated Noble Phantasms that destroys fortresses or a stronger rank can destroy a temple or two from the inside. Powerful Anti-Army Noble Phantasms can scratch or destroy a part of a temple.

    Like the Userhat-Amun, its strengthening/weakening effect under or without the Sun appears like a Sine Curve.

    Type: High-Thaumaturgy, Anti-City




    Last edited by Wiseman; August 9th, 2015 at 01:04 AM.

  4. #11524
    Gläubig müssen die nicht sein, daran glauben müssen sie I3uster's Avatar
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    So how do we deal with the fact that pretty much anything can be a HS now thanks to GO?
    [04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute

  5. #11525
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster View Post
    So how do we deal with the fact that pretty much anything can be a HS now thanks to GO?
    The only real difference is gods.
    And they seem like they're going to explain that somehow.
    Everything else (that we currently have) seems pretty consistent and justified.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  6. #11526
    Gläubig müssen die nicht sein, daran glauben müssen sie I3uster's Avatar
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    Isn't the Phantom of the Opera a 20th century novel character, that was my main thing.

    - - - Updated - - -

    lets go

    heroic spirit harry potter officially allowed in this thread
    [04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute

  7. #11527
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    Phantom of the Opera is 1909, really not unbelievable when Lishuwen who died in 1935 is in.

  8. #11528
    Gläubig müssen die nicht sein, daran glauben müssen sie I3uster's Avatar
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    He was born before though.

    Then I guess the cut-off isn't ever defined as RIGHT AT 1900, still that seems like something that opened quite a few doors.
    [04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute

  9. #11529
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster View Post
    Isn't the Phantom of the Opera a 20th century novel character, that was my main thing.

    - - - Updated - - -

    lets go

    heroic spirit harry potter officially allowed in this thread
    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    Phantom of the Opera is 1909, really not unbelievable when Lishuwen who died in 1935 is in.
    He fuged the numbers on Phantom
    十九世紀を舞台とした小説『オペラ座の怪人』に
    登場した怪人――恐らくは、そのモデルの人物。
    オペラ座地下の広大な迷宮水路に棲まい、
    若き女優に惹かれて彼女を歌姫へと導くも、
    成就せぬ愛のために連続殺人を行ったとされる。
    So it's in the 19th Century that the novel got written.
    Also this Phantom is the model for the guy in the novel. So yeah could be before.
    Last edited by You; August 11th, 2015 at 03:09 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  10. #11530
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    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster View Post
    He was born before though.
    Maybe its like Jekyll where Heroic Spirit Jekyll is basically the guy Stevenson based him on's soul warped into the book character when he entered the Throne.

    As in, the guy Phantom of the Opera is based upon lived before 1900

  11. #11531
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    It seems to me that the cutoff is the end of WWI. Maybe Lancer Shuwen is from after then; I'm unsure of his exact time frame.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  12. #11532
    Gläubig müssen die nicht sein, daran glauben müssen sie I3uster's Avatar
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    It does mean that if you do some creative wankery you can totally smuggle in shit we probably would have nerd raged out of the thread before.
    [04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute

  13. #11533
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster View Post
    It does mean that if you do some creative wankery you can totally smuggle in shit we probably would have nerd raged out of the thread before.
    Well you could already to that before and just label them CGs.
    So it's the same as that.
    Okay for the author, not okay for the fan.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  14. #11534
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster View Post
    It does mean that if you do some creative wankery you can totally smuggle in shit we probably would have nerd raged out of the thread before.
    Eh, we'll find something else to bitch at. It's the internet, after all.

  15. #11535
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Wiseman's Avatar
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    I am going to wait for an Adolf Hitler Canon Servant.

  16. #11536
    改竄者 Falsifier Petrikow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster View Post
    It does mean that if you do some creative wankery you can totally smuggle in shit we probably would have nerd raged out of the thread before.
    I will nerd-rage about them anyways, as I nerd-rage about the bullshit in GO all the same.

  17. #11537
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Nasu should just make a Simo Haya servant so the suffering will end and we can move on to other memestic choices

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  18. #11538
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Nasu should just make a Simo Haya servant so the suffering will end and we can move on to other memestic choices
    Like Hitler.
    I guess if you stretch the definition of memes, there's also the continual bitching and begging for American Servants. Or Roland.

  19. #11539
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Grand Order
    Billy the Kid is supposedly a Servant in GO. So there's your American, at least.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  20. #11540
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Yeah there's going to be a few murican servants.
    I mean murica is having it's own chapter.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


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