Create-a-Servant

[RoydGolden]

Wow, literally every time I check more stuff has been added to Peter's NP description. Also, the spoiler tags around personality have been broken for some reason.

[Bird of Hermes]

That's how I've felt about all of the servant sheets I have made since the Archer Mercurius sheet. I had a lot of fun making the archer sheet but now every time I make a sheet it just feels "meh". I kinda feel l reached my peak with the Grundy and Mercurius sheets

Dude, it's fine. After making a really good one, everything seems naff afterwards - I felt that way after making Roland. Give yourself a bit of time, try something different

[ZSB1999]

Quick question, is Rosie the Riveter too modern to be servant?

[RoydGolden]

Quick question, is Rosie the Riveter too modern to be servant?

Depends on whether you have a good idea for her.

[Bird of Hermes]

Class: Rider (Or alternatively Saber)
True Name: Ogier the Dane 'The Last Paladin'
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: France

Strength- B
Endurance- B
Agility- C
Mana- B
Luck- A+
NP- A+

Height/Weight: 177cm/74kg
Likes: Morgan le Fay, Horseback riding
Dislikes: Morgan le Fay, Flower crowns
Talents: Athletics, Winning charm without effort.
Natural Enemy: Morgan le Fay

Class Skills:

• Magic Resistance (B) - Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.
• Riding (A+) - Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

Personal Skills:

• Strong Arm (B) - Said to hold an "Invincible sword arm". In a feat of arms, he can apply a temporary rank up to either Strength, Endurance or Agility. This boost can be continually moved around these three stars to maintain combat superiority and greatly increase the chance of victory. The boost is lost once the battle has ended.
• Love of the Witch (B) - A special blessing rewarded to him by Morgan le Fay. A notably wicked witch infamous for scheming and power who became his lover. In addition to eternal youth, his body was hardened - resulting in enhanced resistance to physical detriments such as poison.
• Protection of the Faires (A+) - A blessing from Elementals; the capacity to increase one's Luck in dangerous situations. Blessed by six sister fairies at birth, Ogier possesses among the highest ranking possible. the Luck stat receives a permanent rank up alongside increasing Luck by one additional rank in combat. At this high rank, fortune favours him greatly.

Noble Phantasms

• Cortana Sword of Justice (Anti-Unit) (A) - A blade made of the same steel and temper of Joyeuse and Durandal said to fall on no one without landing a lethal blow. It houses a concentrated amount of True Ether and can unleash it. When Cortana is activated, the True Ether will shroud the blade allowing it to deliver a vicious blow that can kill almost any foe in a single strike. Before Ogier wielder it, Cortana was held by Tristan which he used to kill a dragon and as such deals extra damage against those with draconic traits.
• Papillon Dread Stead (Anti-Army) (A+) - A demonic, hellish black horse. The nightmare appears in a cloud of smoke; mane, tail and hooves wreathed in flame. An ancient being that resided on Avalon, it hold physical prowess comparable to Medusa's Pegasus from the Age of Gods and its own combat prowess makes it capable of fighting a servant of one of the Knight classes by itself. As expected, Papillon can breathe hellfire that can scorch the earth. It is capable of an attack that shrouds itself and its rider in flame and propel itself across the battlefield between 400 and 500 kilometers per hour at top speed, crushing all within its wake under the 'Burning Comet'.

Lore

Born under a lucky star and the watch of six sister faries, Ogier is the son of the Danish king Geoffrey, who is the enemy of Charlemagne, and given as a hostage to him. Under the watchful and caring eye of Charlemagne, Ogier grows into a heroic character and becomes one of Charlemagne's greatest warriors. He had a son who was slain by Charlot, son of Charlemagne. Seeking revenge, Ogier kills Charlot and declared war upon Charlemange and the two fought for seven years but at its climax he came to an understanding with Charlemagne and embraced each other. Putting their differences at rest, he rejoined the paladin knights. He quickly proved his worth and earned trust facing the Saracens and in killing a giant.

He held many adventures but on his last at old age, his boat was destroyed and he was swept onto an unknown island of ethereal beauty. He encounter a dark flaming horse called Papillon which toured him across the beautiful land until he met Morgan Le Fay, he had landed in Avalon. She gave the paladin eternal youth and put a flower crown on his head which took away his memories, finding his happiness with his love. Centuries passed and during an accident, the crown was knocked off his head but he had grown to truly love her anyways. Feeling a desire to see his friends again he took mount of Papillon and set out to reunite with them.

Two hundred years had passed and he was his friends had long since passed but his homeland was still endangered, atop Papillon, he destroyed the enemy forces with fire and steel. As the victory feast was about to begin he turned the corner to face Morgan le Fay and she spirited the two away to Avalon forever. Although he still loved her, he hated that she held an absolute grip on his existence. He should be with her because he wants to, not because he has to. Although still in Avalon in his last moments in this real, a pact was made - to be free of Morgan le Fays control.

He is fully aware of his resemblance to King Arthur and finds Morgan le Fay's attraction to him regardless, or possibly because of it, as a little "unsettling". Regardless, he would treat Mordred kindly and act as a "Cool Uncle".

[Constructman]

This is my first attempt at creating a Servant. I can't guarantee its quality and may have gotten a few things related to parameters and skills wrong; as such, critique is more than welcome.

Servant Class: Rider
True Name: Menes
Time period: ~3100 BCE
Region: Egypt
Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Parameters:
-Strength: B (A)
-Agility: B (A)
-Endurance: B (A)
-Magic: E (D)
-Luck: C (B)
-NP: A

Class Skills:
-Riding: B
-Magic Resistance: E

Personal Skills:
-Affections of the Goddess D: the historical Hor-Aha was a fierce devotee of the goddess Neith. As a result, the Heroic Spirit Menes receives a small boost in Strength, Agility, and Endurance.
-Imperial Privilege B: as the first king of the First Dynasty of Egypt, Menes can briefly obtain skills that he does not possess. Suffers from a lower rank due to both a lack of certainty regarding his existence, and lack of fame.
-Natural Body C: as a human from extremely ancient times, being close to the original form of humanity, Menes has not suffered the degradation that has afflicted the human race across the years. This allows him to maintain his physique and his strength even if suffering from prana depletion.
-Military Tactics C: the historical Pharoah Narmer was credited with the peaceful unification of the two Egypts, but there exist records of him leading military forces to subdue rebellions. He was also able to expand his territory into the region's of Nubia and Canaan.

Noble Phantasm: (due to a lack of knowledge of Ancient Egyptian, I will be using English names as placeholders. Of anybody wants to contribute Egyptian names, they may.)

Spoiler:

Sobek's Blessing: Crossing of Lake Moeris
Rank B.
Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
During a hunting trip, Menes's own hunting dogs went wild and attacked him. To save himself, Menes jumped into a a nearby lake and was carried to the other side by a crocodile. In thanks, the Pharaoh founded the city of Shedet, which would later become known as Crocodilopolis. This episode has become his first Noble Phantasm, a tool to escape danger. In essence, it combines the skills Disengage and Demonic Defender of the State, allowing Menes to break away from a conflict at high speed by summoning a crocodile as his mount, heal himself, and set up wherever he finds refuge as his personal domain, receiving an according stat boost equivalent to Mad Enhancement B. However, this will only work if there is a nearby body of water he can cross. The crocodile summoned by this Noble Phantasm will remain in the world, and Menes can use it as a regular mount, an attack animal, and as an escape vehicle for subsequent uses of Sobek's Blessing (which will not trigger the DDotS portion; he can only create on Crocodilopolis).

Set's Curse: End of a Golden Age
Rank A.
Type: Anti-Army.
Through this Noble Phantasm, Menes can summon the hippopotamus that killed him in life. A Phantasmal Beast, a living incarnation of the power of the god Set, more than worthy of rivaling the boar that slew Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, it is a great creature that can fell even the mightiest of heroes. If it was summoned as a Servant, all of its parameters except for Magic would be A. This hippopotamus will attack enemy Servants and other entities rich in Prana, but will focus first and foremost on Menes himself. Unless Menes can somehow leave the area, the hippo will run him down. If Menes does manage to escape the beast and does not cross paths with it again, it will resort to causing wanton destruction for a time, before... Behaving like a regular hippo.

Animal Control would have a field day with this thing. /s

Appearance and Lore:

Spoiler:

Appearance: a prime specimen of the ancient man, standing tall with moderately tanned skin, clearly defined muscles. Dressed in the garb of the Pharoahs of old, it is clear that Menes is not man of the modern world. Despite his kingly attire, he also carries the weapons of a soldier. A bow and a bronze dagger are his armaments, but they do not possess special powers of their own, being separated from mundane tools only by their ability to harm Servants.

Lore: Menes, the chief of the people of Horus, the builder of the city of Memphis, the Pharaoh of legend who united the kingdoms of Upper and Lower Egypt into a single entity. A figure who made his mark in the earliest pages of history, but an individual for whom evidence of existence is tenuous at best. As such, this Servant, rather than being a pure representative of the legendary King, has assumed elements of the historical Pharoahs Narmer and Hor-Aha as well, the two individuals that scholars attribute to the figure of legend, without consensus. This man brought order out of chaos, bringing peace and prosperity to Egypt, to the point where it is claimed that he invented the very concept of luxury. A great man, but one who met a humiliating end, being carried off in the jaws of a hippopotamus.

[Crying]

Okay,...

Ogier's pretty good, I could see him actually showing up in a Type-Moon related work.

Menes doesn't seem all that bad, honestly. Formatting is an issue, as his sheet is rather ugly looking and hard to read, but other than that all it requires is some minor balancing.

His stats, mostly. His base stats aren't too absurd really, but the boosted ones are. I mean, EX Agility?

There has been one canon character with an EX Rank in a stat, Spartacus, and he had that because his NP converted some of the damage he took into mana. Why does Menes have an EX Rank instead of just A+, A++ or even A+++?

Otherwise, I'd personally make it so that Sobek's Blessing could only be activated with water around to escape in, rather than give it a boost when there is.

Either way, not bad for a first try.

[Constructman]

Menes doesn't seem all that bad, honestly. Formatting is an issue, as his sheet is rather ugly looking and hard to read, but other than that all it requires is some minor balancing.

His stats, mostly. His base stats aren't too absurd really, but the boosted ones are. I mean, EX Agility?

There has been one canon character with an EX Rank in a stat, Spartacus, and he had that because his NP converted some of the damage he took into mana. Why does Menes have an EX Rank instead of just A+, A++ or even A+++?

Otherwise, I'd personally make it so that Sobek's Blessing could only be activated with water around to escape in, rather than give it a boost when there is.

Either way, not bad for a first try.

Good point on the stats. That had slipped my mind, and j wasn't sure how the plus system worked (are plusses supposed to be situational boosts rather than a flat increase for skills, parameters, or neither?). Will change. Sobek's Blessing also will be changed. Should I have the crocodile as a separate NP, or should Rider be one his feet until he uses SB for the first time?

[Crying]

The crocodile is fine as it is.

As for how the pluses work... it's kind of complicated. Don't worry about it.

[Zork Knight]

Peter had high physical stats (Changed it) because he was a huge giant of a man in life especially for the time period. He is close to heracles' height and because of how he was extremely strong as well

What? Peter was tall, but also very thin, and had awful health.

[Clockehwork]

Good point on the stats. That had slipped my mind, and j wasn't sure how the plus system worked (are plusses supposed to be situational boosts rather than a flat increase for skills, parameters, or neither?).

Plusses are momentary boosts. Not situational, but brief. That said, if the plusses on the physical stats are from Affections of the Goddess, those should be rank ups. Doubling the value is neither a "small boost" nor what that skill does.

Also +++s like never happen. There's never been a single parameter with +++, while there are actually like 9 of them who have EX (some of which have it in multiple stats, and not even counting the ones who have it in NP). +++ has only ever been in a couple of skills. Not that this is something directly relevant to Menes, but it's something I feel should be pointed out in general; even though EX is statistically more exceptional, it's much, much more common.

I can see either of his NPs as being Anti-Army, especially the hippo, so you could change that and remove the uselessness of Military Tactics, assuming that wasn't the point.

[You]

a piece of you dies whenever someone says pluses are situational.

[RoydGolden]

Servant Assassin:

True Name: Dorian Gray

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral (bordering on Evil)

Strength- E
Agility- C
Endurance- E (EX)
Mana- D
Luck- C-
NP- EX

Appearance:

(As beautiful as he is wicked)

Personality: On the face of it he is an aloof, graceful and courteous young man, seeming to charm everyone who sees him. But his heart is hopelessly twisted. Utterly selfish and manipulative, caring only for his own pleasures without regard for the people whose lives he ruins along the way. In his mind, none of it is his fault and he will concoct elaborate reasonings as to why his actions are blameless. He toys with people like dolls and then tosses them aside like trash when he's done.

Deep down, he regrets the loss of his first love Sibyl Vane, whose suicide plunged him headlong into a life of heartless sensuality. Though he masks it with frivolous words such as "What concern is one insignificant woman from my past when I can partake in any woman I desire right now?" her loss marks a thorn in his heart that no amount of hedonism can wash away.

He claims that his wish is to incarnate in the world to pursue meaningless pleasures without end, but in truth he seeks the Grail only to bring back the woman whose demise was his one and only regret. Perhaps then, he could be saved as well.

Likes: himself, youth, beauty, seeking pleasures, Sibyl Vane (won't admit it)
Dislikes: facing consequences, ugliness, moralists, himself (secretly)
Talent: perfect pretty-boy good looks
Natural Enemy: Basil Hallward


Class Skills:

Presence Concealment (D)- Ability to conceal one's aura from others. At this rank, it is suitable for spying so long as no sudden movements are made. Dorian was never trained as a spy or assassin, so this rank is solely a result of his Class.


Personal Skills:

Mental Pollution (B)- A distorted mentality that grants resistance to mental interference at the cost of making it difficult to come to an understanding with others not similiarly twisted. Originally an innocent and pure-hearted young man, his heart was poisoned by the influence of his 'mentor' Lord Henry.

Alluring Form (C)- A suggestive effect incarnated through one's body. Anyone laying eyes on Assassin (male or female) will naturally find themselves feeling attracted to him and wanting to trust whatever he says. But it can be abated as long as there is will to resist, and cancelled utterly by Skills such as Magic Resistance. Similiar to the Mystic Face of a certain Celtic spearman, though not localized to his face alone (obviously).


Noble Phantasm:


Picture Of Dorian Gray- Innocence, Frozen In Portrait (EX, Anti-Self): A humble- albeit very finely crafted- portrait of Assassin. At first, the figure depicted is an exact simalcrum of Assassin himself, mirroring every detail perfectly.

As a Noble Phantasm, its existence is inextricably linked with Assassin himself. Any damage Assassin receives will be automatically redirected to the painting. This includes not only simple injuries but absolutely everything deemed to compromise the natural structure/integrity of one's body; including poisons, curses and even natural aging (though this aspect is null since, as a Heroic Spirit, he is already removed from the course of aging).

Put simply, Assassin is immune to all damage while the portrait is intact, any wounds he receives healing over nearly the moment they're made as if the World itself is denying their existence. As a side-effect, the image depicted in the painting itself becomes more and more distorted, going from a pure and handsome youth to a hideous, twisted figure of pure evil.

However, this Noble Phantasm's greatest strength also marks its greatest weakness. If the painting itself is ever damaged in any way (stabbed, shot, set on fire, broken, etc) the connection between it and Assassin will be immediately severed. The resulting magical backlash is virtually assured to end his life, as he undergoes in a single instant every malignity that he ever cast off onto the portrait. The ultimate form of penance for one who thoughtlessly indulged in hedonism without regard for the future or personal consequence.

Due to this, it goes without saying that Assassin is extremely cautious regarding the painting, going to the greatest lengths to keep its existence and location a secret from his enemies. And he has to be within a certain range of it (about the size of a city block) for its effects to work, so no hiding it on the other end of the country either.

Only direct consequences on Assassin's body are repelled, not necessarily the underlying 'threat'. If he's poisoned for instance, his body will continually recover from the effects as fast as they're inflicted but the poison itself will remain in his system until it abates naturally or is otherwise dispelled. Under particularly misfortunate scenarios, Assassin could find himself in a hell wherein every cell in his body is constantly torn apart and restructured while not letting him die.

This Noble Phantasm's true nature is that of a 'soul jar', deriving from the myth common across various ancient cultures that powerful sorcerors could evade death by storing away their soul in objects such as boxes, jars or even animals. The portrait of Dorian Gray is one of the most famous instances of such an artifact in Western culture, and though but a descendent, it has become arguably more well-known then any of the original legends it was based upon.


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Decided to go with a literary- rather then mythical- Servant this time around. NP is obviously very powerful, though its hopefully balanced by the low stats and exploitable (if the enemy can figure out his identity) weak-point. I imagine a good Master would use him to try and manipulate matters from the sidelines, seducing bystanders into attacking enemy Masters and such like.

...Don't really have all that much to say about the guy, I guess. Be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms, everybody!

[asterism42]

Doesn't Extra Vlad's Protection of the Faith have three pluses?

GO spoiler

I think Lord Camelot does as well.

[Vagrant]

a piece of you dies whenever someone says pluses are situational.

But what if its a skill giving the plus? Huh? What then, smarty pants?

[Clockehwork]

Doesn't Extra Vlad's Protection of the Faith have three pluses?

GO spoiler

I think Lord Camelot does as well.

I forgot about that spoiler, but yes Vlad's PotF is one of the couple skills. The other one is Shuwen's Chinese Martial Arts.

[Vagrant]

Doesn't Extra Vlad's Protection of the Faith have three pluses?

GO spoiler

I think Lord Camelot does as well.

That would be why he said "no parameter has ever had +++ and very few skills have".

[You]

But what if its a skill giving the plus? Huh? What then, smarty pants?

then a little piece of You dies.

[Vagrant]

I can live with that.

Brb adding plus-modifier skills to all my servants.

[JetKinen]

How about Blackbeard C++ ship, that raises strenght with the more servants you have as a crew?

thats situational isn't it?