Create-a-Servant

[NightEye]

Hannibal- Seems pretty solid with no faults although personally I'd increase Endurance to B or A and lower Luck to C or D. I don't think he'd qualify as an Avenger at all. Boudicca had the whole 'Enemy of Rome' thing going on and she doesn't qualify at all, she does for a Berserker though so you might wanna look into that.

Hannibal as a Berserker feels a little self-defeating as he'll lose his tactical smarts and sanity which are central to him. Though I could spin that he's one of the lowest maintenance Berserkers out there because he gets his mana in battle through Hoc Est Bellum and maybe the Mad Enhancement extends to Surus as well. Exercitus ad Portas would probably be sealed as he's not capable of leading it.

[Bird of Hermes]

Which would people rather see from me first?

My Nimrod sheets, a Baldwin IV sheet or a remake of my Alaric I sheet?

I say Nimrod

[KAIZA]

Hey, everyone remember that time I made a Servant, but I barely had any idea what I was doing? Of course not, no one remembers. Still, since I've been a bit...focused on FGO recently, and with the many doors it opens up for Servants, of course I...remade the same one.
...
Well, let's see if I've improved or worsened after a few years! ^^;

Caster (Jezebel)

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Caster [Jezebel] - “Decadent Queen”

Appearance

Strength – E
Agility – D
Mana – A+
Luck – C
Endurance – E
Noble Phantasm – A
Cards – BAAAQ

Item Construction – C
Territory Creation – A

Height/Weight: 170cm・59kg
Source: Old Testament
Region: Phoenicia/Israel
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Gender: Female
She is quite proud of her looks; do not dare to call her "old".

Phoenician princess, and wife of Ahab, King of Israel, described in the Book of Kings. After marrying Ahab as part of a political alliance, Jezebel became the power behind the throne. She started converting Israel from worship of YHWH to worship of the Phoenician deities Ba’al and Asherah, persecuting several Jewish prophets.

The prophet Elijah became Jezebel's sworn enemy, challenging the cult of Ba’al and slaughtering several of its prophets. After the killing of Naboth, a landowner who Jezebel had falsely accused and executed so she could take his land for her husband, Elijah prophesied her death.

After Ahab's death, Jezebel maintained power through her sons, Ahaziah and Jehoram. The prophet Elisha eventually sent his servant Jehu to overthrow the house of Ahab. During the ensuing confrontation, Jehoram was killed, and Jehu convinced the court officials to kill Jezebel by throwing her out the window. Her body was then devoured by dogs, fulfilling Elijah's prophecy.

Her very nature, cunning and manipulative, makes her a very difficult Servant to deal with. One must tread with care, lest they become a pawn to her whims; it’s not beneath her to discard a Master she believes is less than optimal to her plans.

Skills
False Prophet (B)
A divine gift given to those with strong devotion to their faith, distorted by the user's selfish wishes and misused for their own ends. Despite the term, the abilities granted by this skill are indeed genuine, as is the user's faith, but their actions in life have distorted their purpose. It grants divine protection and blessings to the user, even allowing a certain degree of clairvoyance. However, these abilities will only work for the benefit of the user, and the user alone.
>Increase NP gauge (Self, 50%)
>Increase defense (Self, 3 turns)

In life, Jezebel was a devout follower of Baal and Asherah, introducing temples to their adoration. However, her devotion went to further extremes, forcing the worship of her deities as the national religion of Israel, changing the lifestyles of the kingdom and aggressively persecuting prophets of YHWH. Her merciless actions and selfish motives led to her gaining the label of false prophet.

Dignified Allure (B)
The user possesses unnatural beauty and charisma, even capable of charming those around them and bending them to their will by exuding an imposing and regal aura. It comes not from enchantment or even divine gift, but instead from emphasizing the best innate qualities of one's appearance and personality through mundane methods. It can be considered artificial, a mask which enhances that which is already there, and as such, those with strong enough will can resist its allure.
>Chance to charm all enemies (1 turn)
>Reduce attack (All enemies, 3 turns)
>Reduce defense (All enemies, 3 turns)

Jezebel was a woman of great beauty, and often enjoyed putting on makeup and jewelry to increase her own charming look. To her, it was always important to maintain a regal and dignified look, even in the face of death. She took advantage of her assets to gain favor and power, having even her husband under her control, and her image has been associated with that of a seductress.

Appropriation (C)
This skill allows the user to take mana from their opponents and add it to their own mana pool. It is a reflection of the user's selfishness and tyranny, forcefully taking other's possessions as their own for their personal use and gain.
>Average chance of reducing enemy charge
>Increase NP gauge (All allies, 10%)

Famously, Jezebel mercilessly plotted to have Naboth and his sons murdered, falsely accused of blasphemy and stoned to death, in order to take Naboth's vineyard and give it to her husband. It was this act that led to Elijah prophesizing their downfall and death.

Noble Phantasm: Ba'al Berith – Lord of the Covenant
Rank: A
Type: Anti-Army
Card Type: Arts
A crystallization of Jezebel's faith, her wrath and the destruction that befell the prophets of YHWH under her rule.

She calls upon Ba'al to bring fiery death upon non-believers, using Jezebel herself as a conduit. It is a powerful curse from which there is no escape as long as Jezebel's wrath endures. The only way protect oneself is to either be under divine protection, or have a strong enough faith
to overcome hers.
>Dispel all enemies' buffs
>Deals damage to all enemies
>Inflict Burn to all enemies (10 turns)
>Increase NP gauge (All allies, 20%)

After Elijah and his followers proved the superiority of their God and slaughtered the priests of Baal and Asherah, it brought down Jezebel's fury and forced him to flee. Her actions from then on only became more and more brutal, further bringing the lands of Israel under the influence of Ba'al.
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Rider (Bolivar)

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Rider [Simón Bolivar] - “El Libertador”

Appearance

Strength – C
Agility – B
Mana – E
Luck – B
Endurance – D
Noble Phantasm – B
Cards – BBAQQ

Magic Resistance – E
Riding – B

Height/Weight: 168cm・55kg
Source: Historical Fact
Region: Venezuela
Alignment: Lawful Good
Gender: Female
Full name was Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar y Palacios

A Venezuelan military leader who spearheaded the campaign for independence in several nations of Latin America. Her horse is named Palomo.

Born into an aristocratic family, Bolivar was educated in Europe from a young age, arriving in Spain at 16. Following ideas from Enlightened philosophers, Bolivar gained the resolve to overthrow the Spanish rule in America.

Her military career and influence spanned through several countries in Latin America. Her defeat over the Spanish rule in Venezuela despite incredible odds eventually led to the liberation of several countries like Peru, Ecuador and Bolivia. This earned her the moniker “El Libertador”.

Her greatest ambition was for freedom for all races in the Americas. Following her victories, she eventually brought the liberated countries together into the first union in Latin America, “Gran Colombia”, which spanned from the Argentinian border to the Caribbean, and of which she became president. The nation didn’t last long, but her legacy remains.

She is one of the few people to have a country named after them. Her military exploits and achievements are still remembered by many Latin Americans to this day, and has led to the creation of myths and mysteries surrounding her life.

Even as a Heroic Spirit, she hasn’t abandoned her dream of freedom for all and a united Gran Colombia.
If she has a wish for the Holy Grail, it is “to unite the people of the Americas once more under a single banner, and to bring an end to their turmoil.”

Skills
Freedom's Cry (A)
The ability to rally and command large groups of people to rise up against an oppressive rule. The call for liberation which motivates and drives the masses to seek their independence, fighting under a common banner. Due to its nature, this skill also has the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics.
>Increase NP damage (1 turn)
>Increase attack (1 turn)

In life, Bolivar was able to rally the wealthy Creoles and establish a national congress to oppose the Spanish rule in just three years, and managed to lead the revolutionary forces to bring independence to Venezuela against all odds, and then the rest of Latin America.

Eye of the Mind (False) (C)
A natural talent to avoid danger on the basis of an innate 6th sense, intuition, or prescience, where accuracy of instinct has been augmented by experience; somewhat overcoming the problem of visual obstructions that appear in the course of combat.
>Evade attacks (1 turn)
>Increase critical hit damage (3 turns)

Despite lacking formal military education, she managed to avoid capture even when defeated, knew when to retreat, and managed to obtain victory despite several setbacks and hindrances. It was clear that many of Bolivar’s victories were not achieved through sheer luck, she was able to utilize what knowledge she had and turn it into a winning strategy with audacity and creativity.

Noxious Mind (A)
A dangerous state of mind brought about by tragedy and depression. A mental curse that can affect the success rate of Mental skills depending on the Servant’s state of mind. As long as their will remains strong and their mind focused, no mental interference will affect them. But if their will falters and their mood starts to dampen, the Servant becomes extremely vulnerable to negative stimuli and their skills may fail more often.
>Increase critical star absorption rate (1 turn)
>Increase critical damage (1 turn)
>Reduce debuff resistance (3 turn) [Demerit]

Bolivar’s life wasn’t an easy one. Losing her parents at an early age, as well as her only wife to illness, she always fought off depression by focusing on her passions, like politics and her military campaign. Her ambition of attaining her dream kept her spirit high. After seeing Gran Colombia fall apart even after her resignation, her health only began to decline and worsen, eventually leading to her death.

Noble Phantasm: Palomo - The General's Fated Steed
Type: Mount
Simon Bolivar's white horse, which accompanied her throughout most of her liberation campaign. It was described as a tall, white horse with a long tail that reached the ground; named "Palomo" (Pigeon) due to its color. Due to the prophetic dreams of the peasant Casilda, Palomo's rider is destined to achieve greatness, and she foretold of Bolivar's victories. Because of this, it is said that Bolivar will achieve "certain victory" while riding it.

Bolivar received it as a gift from the elderly peasant Casilda Zafra; stories tell that Casilda had dreamed she would raise a colt which would be given to a great, victorious general. Her husband, upon meeting Bolivar as a guide, told her of Casilda's dreams, and Bolivar requested Casilda keep the colt for her until her return. Upon returning to New Granada five years later, the young colt had been raised and groomed, and was given to her as promised. She later personally visited and thanked Casilda, who then foretold of Bolivar's victories with it.

Bolivar continued riding Palomo from then on, the two being almost inseparable in the battlefield. It was described as being faster, stronger, better built than even the finest Persian breeds used by Napoleon himself. Bolivar considered Palomo to be part of herself; the noble steed always recognizing its partner from afar, from the sound of her steps, to the tone of her voice, it would always follow Bolivar and would shudder in respect while riding.

Sadly, as Bolivar returned to Colombia, Marshal Andres de Santa Cruz requested the horse as a parting gift. Although hesitant, Bolivar conceded, and turned the horse over to him. From that day, Palomo fell into despair, and died soon after. The loss of her trusted partner was hard on Bolivar; no one could ride the great Palomo like El Libertador.

Now, summoned under the Rider class, the two friends have been reunited in the battlefield once more.

Noble Phantasm: Gran Colombia – Liberation March
Rank: B
Type: Anti-Army
Card Type: Quick
The crystallization of Bolivar’s eternal dream of a unified American nation as well as her exploits.

Bolivar charges forward on Palomo, sword in hand, as she lets out a battle cry. Following her, an ethereal army follows; a symbol of the oppressed which she brought together to fight for their freedom, united as one for this attack. They are manifestations of Bolivar's dream, not actual soldiers; they are but an extension of Bolivar herself, leading the charge to victory. While Bolivar herself is the focus of the attack, its power is comparable to that of an army. Not only will it damage the opponent, but this Noble Phantasm will also give a boost to all allies.
>Deals damage to all enemies
>Increase attack of all allies (3 turns)
>Increase defense of all allies (3 turns)
>Increase critical star rate of all allies (3 turns)

The name of El Libertador is well known in many Latin American countries. It is well remembered as the name of the person who united the people against the oppressive Spanish rule, and achieve victory against all costs.
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[RoydGolden]

Jezebel: I actually remember reading that Jezebel sheet when looking back over archived posts here. For a first sheet, I would say it was pretty damn good. Though this one is obviously more refined. You clearly patterned it off GO sheets, which adds some flavor, even if I don't really care for details like 'reduces defense/increase NP gauge/what have you'.

Bolivar: Nice to finally read a Bolivar sheet that isn't wanked to Hell and back (like a certain someone's). I also didn't realize 'he' was supposed to be a girl upon seeing the FC. Gran Columbia is a fairly typical 'army summon' NP, though at least you tried to vary it up by making the charge localized to Bolivar herself rather then her army. And good to find a brother in arms when it comes to genderbending!

[Chara Dreemurr]

I let a little fangirl cry after seeing that Bolivar sheet, if my honest. Specially because i am from Venezuela myself. The story is fairly accurate for Nasuverse standards and apart from the genderbent (which i'm not fan of. But in this case i have no problems) and the a little generic NP. I find rather pleasing read such a well-suited servant concept for the greatest hero of my country.

[Bird of Hermes]

Jezebel: She's more refined over your last version of her so nice job

Bolivar: Freedom's Cry and Noxious Mind add a good amount of flavour. As for the NP, it's the army summon attack which I don't have much of a preference for. If ya wanna keep it, add some more flavour text to say why she can summon them. Also, this Rider doesn't have a mount so you should address that. If you just want to say her NP grants her a mount thats fine.

-----------------------

Anyway, this guy is apparently coming out in Grand Order so here's my take on him before being proven wrong by canon.


Class: Rider
True Name: Xuanzang
Alignment: Lawful Good
Place of Origin: China

Strength- E
Endurance- E
Agility- E
Mana- A
Luck- B
NP- EX

Height/Weight: 164cm/49kg
Likes: Enlightenment
Dislikes: Cannibalism, Strife
Talent: Translation
Natural Enemy: All The Worlds Evils

Class Skills:

• Magic Resistance (D) - Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.
• Riding (EX) - The ability to ride mounts. Rather than an inherent ability to ride beasts, Xuanzang has the unique ability to command and coerce any Beast to perform under his command, including dragons.

Personal Skills:

• Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig (B) -Renders protection to one who has reached "the Truth of the World" or "the Answer of Humanity" - a Protection against Purging that marks the Servant as a "Protector of the World." Unconditionally reduces the damage dealt by physical attacks, conceptual attacks, and interdimensional attacks by a value equivalent to the Servant's HP. This skill also shuts out probability of Mental Interference by 100%. Through his comprehensive study of the world around him he reaching an understanding of life.
• Pure Soul (A+) - A skill possessed by those few who are true of heart. This skill would usually grants one resistance from mental interference however it has been made redundant by a previous skill. However at this rank, a bonus effect is granted meaning one cannot be affected by seduction. Additionally, he has very strong resistance against the seven deadly sins of mankind.
• Self Preservation (B) - The skill the preserve one health, so that the user can escape. Xuanzang has no combat capabilities, but as long as he preserve the safety of his master to the lowest possible degree, he maintains the skill to escape from nearly all harm—meaning that he never engages any opponents himself.

Noble Phantasm

Yu Lung Dragon Horse of the Eight Heavenly Sections (Anti-Country) (EX) - The third son of the Dragon King of the West Sea. He once accidentally caused a fire that destroyed a pearl given to his father by the Jade Emperor, and was about to be executed for committing this but the dragon prince was spared from death and banished to Yingchou Stream For Xuanzang's pilgrimage, he was given a fine horse to travel with, but when he encountered the dragon, his white horse was eaten in a single gulp. He attempted to cross the river that the dragon resided within and Xuanzang was able to subdue the dragon with promises of more food and if it was to join them on their journey. Like the greatest of its kind, the dragon polymorphed into a white horse that Rider could ride upon. In its horse form it's incredibly fast, highly durable and can run on water and be considered equal to a servant. Its transformation skills are not limited to turning into a horse and can also appear as a young human maiden though he prefers his horse form as a secondary state. Due to the taxation on the master, Xuanxang has asked him not to transform into his dragon form unless necessary.

In this true form, alongside using his teeth, claws and horns, Yu Lang uses his breath to spread a torrent of mana that crystallises in the air to give off the vision of projecting ice. The damage is equal to its constitution which transcends that of humans by far, it is not unreasonable to think of Yu Lung being able to destroy a whole country when equally spreading the damage from its breath throughout a whole army.

Yu Lung is highly proud and insists that he is not a mount that is to be ridden, but merely "giving Xuanzang a lift". He is impatient , reckless and greedy - only being kept in line by Xuanzang's force of personality.

This Noble Phantasm does have a weakness as although his true draconic form is nearly unstoppable, he uses up a large amount mana that will likely kill the master in a matter of minutes if used recklessly. The mana cost can be reduced by feeding Yu Lung or a regular basis, he has a preference for meat and fast food. As a result he is used as a 'Sweeper', appearing suddenly and destroying his masters enemies before they have a chance to react.

Lore

Xuanzang is a Chinese Buddhist monk who had renounced his family as a child to join the Sangha. He is actually a reincarnation of Golden Cicada, a disciple of the Buddha. He left for the Dahila kingdom (Ancient India) to retrieve original Buddhist scriptures for China.

Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty gave him two escorts to accompany him who were unfortunatly devoured by demons. The bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara helps Xuanzang find three powerful supernatural beings - Zhu Bajie, Sha Wujing and the legendary Sun Wukong; whose legend exceeds his own - to aid and protect him on his journey. These three become his disciples who were granted enlightenment and forgiveness for their sins. Along his journey, Xuanzang is constantly terrorised by monsters and demons because of a legend which says that one can attain immortality by devouring his flesh because of his nature as the a reincarnation of a holy being. After 17 long years, Xuanzang returned home and spent the majority of his remaining years translating them into Chinese.

His wish is for peace and enlightenment for all of humanity.

---------------------

I forgot how much I liked making Riders. So here is one who is both overpowered and very weak.

[KAIZA]

Thanks for the feedback.
At least it's good to know I improved on Jezebel's sheet. ^^
Now to address the new one...

@RoydGolden: When planning this, I took note of the Bolivar sheets archived here, and tried to avoid the usual criticisms for them. I tried to use Servants from a similar time period or of similar caliber for reference in regards to stats and such; deciding on skills took quite a while because of this, so I'm glad the effort was worth it. And the fact you didn't realize that upon seeing the FC means I did my job right!

@Chara Dreemurr: Admittedly, the gender flip came from a random thought while sketching Servant ideas (wanted to try drawing a heroine in uniform). As for the NP being a bit generic; that's because I had trouble thinking of an NP that not only fit Bolivar, but didn't go over the power limits for a Servant like him, especially after seeing past sheets attempting this. Still, I'm glad you liked my interpretation.

@The Bird of Hermes: It's good to know; as I said, determining her skills was the hardest part, and making up new ones also had the challenge of having to think up what they did and why she had them. Took a lot of reading and cross-referencing other skills. As for the NP, I knew an army summoning NP would be a bit divisive, since I've seen it overused in some sheets even when it doesn't make sense. That's why I specifically mention the NP attack is focused on Bolivar, and the army itself is just for visual flare. I guess I could try expanding on the lore of it a bit. I was brainstorming a bit earlier on how it worked, my current idea was that the other soldiers were just manifestations of Bolivar's dream, not actual soldiers summoned. Hence, the other soldiers are simply an extension of Bolivar's charge during the attack.

As for a mount, I did make a passing mention that Bolivar rides Palomo, a white horse associated with him and often depicted with him in some paintings and illustrations. In fact, it was reading about Palomo that led me to choose Rider for Bolivar's class. The reason I didn't make much mention of it was that, while Palomo is associated with him as a mount, and the story tells the horse was fated to be given to Bolivar, it doesn't have as much mystery or mythical traits as, say, Bucephalus is for Iskandar.

[AvengerEmiya]

Anyway, this guy is apparently coming out in Grand Order so here's my take on him before being proven wrong by

Considering he's neither a genderbent waifu or a bishie, yeah, you're probably waaaay off.

[Bird of Hermes]

Thanks for the feedback.
As for a mount, I did make a passing mention that Bolivar rides Palomo, a white horse associated with him and often depicted with him in some paintings and illustrations. In fact, it was reading about Palomo that led me to choose Rider for Bolivar's class. The reason I didn't make much mention of it was that, while Palomo is associated with him as a mount, and the story tells the horse was fated to be given to Bolivar, it doesn't have as much mystery or mythical traits as, say, Bucephalus is for Iskandar.

Ya could make the horse a Noble Phantasm and make up stuff like I did on my Roland sheet. Or you can rip off Kidskander or Saint George.

Considering he's neither a genderbent waifu or a bishie, yeah, you're probably waaaay off.

Hence I gave it my spin. What about Caesar, Fergus, Geronimo and those guys?

[AvengerEmiya]

Hence I gave it my spin. What about Caesar, Fergus, Geronimo and those guys?

Caesar - perfection
Fergus - DILF
Geronimo - one of the better designs in FGO

[KAIZA]

Ya could make the horse a Noble Phantasm and make up stuff like I did on my Roland sheet. Or you can rip off Kidskander or Saint George.

Would something like this work, then?

Palomo

Noble Phantasm: Palomo - The General's Fated Steed
Type: Mount
Simon Bolivar's white horse, which accompanied her throughout most of her liberation campaign. It was described as a tall, white horse with a long tail that reached the ground; named "Palomo" (Pigeon) due to its color. Due to the prophetic dreams of the peasant Casilda, Palomo's rider is destined to achieve greatness, and she foretold of Bolivar's victories. Because of this, it is said that Bolivar will achieve "certain victory" while riding it.

Bolivar received it as a gift from the elderly peasant Casilda Zafra; stories tell that Casilda had dreamed she would raise a colt which would be given to a great, victorious general. Her husband, upon meeting Bolivar as a guide, told her of Casilda's dreams, and Bolivar requested Casilda keep the colt for her until her return. Upon returning to New Granada five years later, the young colt had been raised and groomed, and was given to her as promised. She later personally visited and thanked Casilda, who then foretold of Bolivar's victories with it.

Bolivar continued riding Palomo from then on, the two being almost inseparable in the battlefield. It was described as being faster, stronger, better built than even the finest Persian breeds used by Napoleon himself. Bolivar considered Palomo to be part of herself; the noble steed always recognizing its partner from afar, from the sound of her steps, to the tone of her voice, it would always follow Bolivar and would shudder in respect while riding.

Sadly, as Bolivar returned to Colombia, Marshal Andres de Santa Cruz requested the horse as a parting gift. Although hesitant, Bolivar conceded, and turned the horse over to him. From that day, Palomo fell into despair, and died soon after. The loss of her trusted partner was hard on Bolivar; no one could ride the great Palomo like El Libertador.

Now, summoned under the Rider class, the two friends have been reunited in the battlefield once more.

Of course, this is mostly lore, and kinda ambiguous in terms of whether or not it has any effects...what do you say?

[Bird of Hermes]

Palomo is... Pretty damn good. Crocea Mors has the whole thing about 'Certain Victory' so the rank is justified. My Roland's mount boosted Agility from B to A+ while he was on it and was the same rank so I think it's ok. The extra lore is a good thing in my opinion as it adds a ton of flavour. Go ahead and add it, nice job.

Also, what did you think of my Xuanzang?

[KAIZA]

Palomo is... Pretty damn good. Crocea Mors has the whole thing about 'Certain Victory' so the rank is justified. My Roland's mount boosted Agility from B to A+ while he was on it and was the same rank so I think it's ok. The extra lore is a good thing in my opinion as it adds a ton of flavour. Go ahead and add it, nice job.

Also, what did you think of my Xuanzang?

Thanks.
Edited and added, then. Thinking about the certain victory concept reminded me of something I read about Proto-Gil vs. Proto-Herk a long while ago, about how their NPs clashed with each other; one being something like "will always survive the battle" and the other "will not lose the battle". The resulting paradox ending with Proto-Herk winning but dying in the process, and Proto-Gil losing but alive. Kinda made me think about a similar scenario occurring with Bolivar somehow. XD

As for your sheet, it's kinda funny; at first the names didn't ring a bell, but then I checked the lore and everything started to make sense. XD In any case, it's an interesting concept, being a Servant with absolutely no battle capabilities, but capable of safely retreating when possible, strong defensive skills, and a nuke option that must be used with care lest it becomes a double-edge sword. It's a nice balance that goes well with the hero in question.
Though I did bat an eye for a bit at the fact one of his skills 100% shuts off mental interference, and then has another skill that also shuts off mental interference (sure, there's the bonus effect, but I still wondered.)

Ah, also, after re-reading the posts about the other Bolivar sheets, I began wondering if I could somehow make a Saber variant. Of course, taking into account that he doesn't fit into that class.

Alt Saber Specs

Simon Bolivar (Saber) - "The Young Libertador"

Strength – B
Agility – C
Mana – E
Luck – C
Endurance – D
Noble Phantasm – C

A younger version of Bolivar, before the beginning of her military campaign to free Venezuela. Because the Heroic Spirit is not compatible with the Saber class container, they have suffered a demerit and their stats have adjusted accordingly.

Magic Resistance – E
Riding – C

Defiant Spirit (B)
An inherently rebellious mind; an impulse to defy the status quo and challenge the current paradigm to create a new one. A person with such a mindset tends to clash with authority often, but it’s said that this same mindset can be the spark that ignites a revolution. While this quality makes a Servant harder to manage, it also protects them from mental suggestions and more likely to achieve victory through sheer stubbornness.

Disengage (C)
The ability to break away from combat.

Eye of the Mind (False) (C)
A natural talent to avoid danger on the basis of an innate 6th sense, intuition, or prescience, where accuracy of instinct has been augmented by experience; somewhat overcoming the problem of visual obstructions that appear in the course of combat.

Noble Phantasm: Gran Colombia - Liberator’s Ambition
Rank: C

Type: Anti-Unit
A crystallization of Bolivar’s future endeavours as El Libertador, coupled with her dreams and ambitions of overthrowing the Spanish rule in Venezuela. It could be referred to as “the fire that burns within her soul, which cries for freedom”; it is Bolivar’s passion and strong will which power this Noble Phantasm. It supercharges Bolivar’s sword with “the fire in her soul”, after which she strikes her opponents dead center with all her might; unleashing her power in a manner similar to a prana burst.

It's just a what-if; does it look reasonable?

[RoydGolden]

Palomo is good as a 'flavor' NP, though is there a reason it doesn't have a rank? May have been on purpose, since Iskandar's Gordius Wheel didn't have any listed rank, either.

Saber!Bolivar is not horrendously overpowered, which is always nice. If anything, I think you might have gone a bit too far in the other direction. Is there any canonical precedent for a Heroic Spirit suffering demerits due to not fitting their Class Container? I think rank E Luck is a little low, even though it is supposed to her before she did any of her legendary destiny-defying feats. The idea of a 'younger conquerer' reminds me a little of Saber Lily, actually. I'm assuming she'd have a more 'earnest, idealistic' personality, whereas her older self would be a little more hardened, though still being proud of her life and achievements.

[KAIZA]

Palomo is good as a 'flavor' NP, though is there a reason it doesn't have a rank? May have been on purpose, since Iskandar's Gordius Wheel didn't have any listed rank, either.

Saber!Bolivar is not horrendously overpowered, which is always nice. If anything, I think you might have gone a bit too far in the other direction. Is there any canonical precedent for a Heroic Spirit suffering demerits due to not fitting their Class Container? I think rank E Luck is a little low, even though it is supposed to her before she did any of her legendary destiny-defying feats. The idea of a 'younger conquerer' reminds me a little of Saber Lily, actually. I'm assuming she'd have a more 'earnest, idealistic' personality, whereas her older self would be a little more hardened, though still being proud of her life and achievements.

Yeah, I saw a few of the known mounts and some of them didn't have any rank listed (I think Saint George's also doesn't have one?), plus at the time I wasn't 100% sure whether to implement it as a NP yet.

And about the stats, the only changes I did was switch Strength and Agility, and reduce Luck and NP. Luck getting hit the worst because, as you said, this is before her legendary feats, plus I figured it'd fit since her loved ones kept dying or getting in trouble during her youth (parents, wife, mentor), and although she had a normal childhood in spite of this, some liked to dramatize Bolivar's childhood as being rough and troubled, believing it'd be more befitting of a future hero. About the demerit, I used Gilles as a reference for a regular Heroic Spirit being shoved into an unfitting container, and it shows in his stats:
Caster

Strength:	D	Mana:	C
Endurance:	E	Luck:	E
Agility:	D	N. Phantasm:	A+

vs. Saber

Strength:	B	Mana:	D
Endurance:	C	Luck:	D
Agility:	C	N. Phantasm:	B

Pretty much everything but Mana and NP took a hit, and not counting Prelati's Spellbook, his Mana only rose by one. Of course, this is going from a physical-attack-oriented class to a mage class, so the stat drops will be higher, which is why I didn't decrease the stats that much aside from Luck for the aforementioned reasons, and Strength was the only boosted stat. I could raise luck a bit, though, if it's an issue.

And yeah, I had something like that in mind for her personality; seeing as this was before many of the more disheartening moments in her life (like seeing her dream of an unified nation crumble before her with nothing she can do about it)

[RoydGolden]

I think it's just about universally true that a Heroic Spirit in the Caster Class is going to have lower stats then the same hero in a more melee-oriented Class. It's not about how well the hero fits the Class in question, it's just inherent that Caster=Squishy (with certain exceptions like Babbage and Geronimo).

Not saying your choice is wrong though. In fact, looking back at the sheet, his stats aren't even all that much lower. Endurance is low, but it was like that to start with. Only thing else I'll say is I don't think its even possible for a Saber to have Magic Resistance at any rank lower then C (unless the Skill is struck out altogether, like with Siegfried). Nero, who was comparatively modern and never encountered magic in life has it at that rank solely as a result of her Class Container, and she basically willed herself into being a Saber because she thought swordfighting was cool (more or less).

[KAIZA]

I think it's just about universally true that a Heroic Spirit in the Caster Class is going to have lower stats then the same hero in a more melee-oriented Class. It's not about how well the hero fits the Class in question, it's just inherent that Caster=Squishy (with certain exceptions like Babbage and Geronimo).

Not saying your choice is wrong though. In fact, looking back at the sheet, his stats aren't even all that much lower. Endurance is low, but it was like that to start with. Only thing else I'll say is I don't think its even possible for a Saber to have Magic Resistance at any rank lower then C (unless the Skill is struck out altogether, like with Siegfried). Nero, who was comparatively modern and never encountered magic in life has it at that rank solely as a result of her Class Container, and she basically willed herself into being a Saber because she thought swordfighting was cool (more or less).

Yeah, I pointed that out, which is why I didn't lower them too much. As for the Magic Resistance issue, I did find one that has low MR: Okita (E); due to living in an era with little magic and mystery.

A genuine genius swordsman who possesses both transcendental finesse and innate talent, but as a member of the Saber Class, her low Endurance and Magic Resistance stand out.

Admittedly, yeah, she's from Koha-ACE and FGO, and every other Saber has at least a C (Okita's E and Siegfried are the only exceptions). I guess I can raise it to C, then; I just didn't want to take my chances. ^^;

EDIT: In fact...looking at the dates, Okita and Bolivar are from the same time period (Okita being born about a decade after Bolivar died).

[RoydGolden]

Hadn't heard of Okita having it at rank E. Seems odd since Nero has it at rank C just by being a Saber, but whatever. I guess you do have some lore backing you on this. Do what you want. Though if you wanted to buff Magic Resistance to C, you have room to do that too.

[KAIZA]

Hadn't heard of Okita having it at rank E. Seems odd since Nero has it at rank C just by being a Saber, but whatever. I guess you do have some lore backing you on this. Do what you want. Though if you wanted to buff Magic Resistance to C, you have room to do that too.

Alright; was just making sure. Like I said, I wanted to avoid the mistakes that happened in previous attempts. ^^;
Thanks for the feedback; and I'll try making another sheet soon when I get some free time.

[RoydGolden]

Thanks for the feedback; and I'll try making another sheet soon when I get some free time.

Looking forward to it!