I went to some art gallery for a school trip and the tour guide told us that the average attention span per painting is 2-3 seconds. Take me to the Louvre or wherever and I'll show you a proper attention span, bud.
I went to some art gallery for a school trip and the tour guide told us that the average attention span per painting is 2-3 seconds. Take me to the Louvre or wherever and I'll show you a proper attention span, bud.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
List of Servants I've made
Some modern art is pretty interesting. Some of it's so far up its own arse it forms an ouroboros of smugness.
Originally Posted by Sandstorm77
Yo. Been lurking for a bit and really enjoy reading all of these sheets, so I figured I'd contribute. Also happy to do some feedback. Anyway, here's my first sheet:
Class: Rider
True Name: Robert Falcon Scott, the Antarctic Explorer
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Place of Origin: England
Strength- B (C)
Endurance- B (C)
Agility-C (D)
Mana-D (E)
Luck- D (E)
NP-B
Height/Weight: 6’0”/172 Pounds (Apologies for Imperial but I am an American and not very good with Metric. Didn’t want to accidentally make him 1 foot 3000 pounds or something by doing conversions incorrectly.)
Likes: Science, success, England, his crew
Dislikes: The South Pole, failure
Talent: Commanding Arctic voyages
Natural Enemy: Roald Amundsen (More like a friendly rival than a bitter enemy though)
Class Skills:
- Magic Resistance (E) - Due to never encountering magic in his life, Scott’s magic resistance is very low. At this rank, he cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.
- Riding (B) - Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.
Personal Skills:
- Voyager of the Storm (B)- this skill represents the talent to sail vessels recognized as ships. Because the ability as a group leader is also necessary, this unique Skill also has the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics at rank D. As a renowned Naval Captain, Scott has experience working on and commanding various ships such as the Discovery and his own Noble Phantasm Terra Nova.
- Pioneer of the Stars (C)- A unique Skill given to heroes that became turning points in the human history. All difficult voyages and challenges which are considered “impossible” turn into “events that can be realized.” On his first Antarctic expedition, Scott set a new Southern record by marching to latitude 82S and discovered the Polar Plateau, on which the South Pole is located. He was also the leader of the second expedition to reach the South Pole itself, losing out to Roald Amundsen by just 34 days. (However, as he did not win this race, this skill is only C rank. If he had, it would likely be much higher.)
- Innocent Monster (E)- a Skill possessed by Servants whose history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter. As a consequence, the Servant’s abilities and/or appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Unlike Dracula or the Phantom, this skill does not refer to a direct physical change, but rather a change in Scott’s personality. In life (and for a time after his death), he was regarded as a courageous yet tragic hero. However, historians in the late twentieth century began to regard him in a more negative light, raising questions about his competence and character. As a result, Scott’s personality has been altered somewhat to reflect this more negative view.
Noble Phantasm(s):
- Race to the South Pole the Failed Antarctic Journey (Support) (B)- This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of the Terra Nova Expedition, Scott’s ill-fated second Antarctic Expedition. At the moment of Scott’s summoning, he has the ability to materialize all of the equipment, resources, and crew that he had acquired upon setting out for the South Pole. This includes the ship Terra Nova and its 65 man crew, as well as several ponies, dogs, and motorized sledges. The Terra Nova is a wooden-hulled barque described by Scott as "a wonderfully fine ice ship.... As she bumped the floes with mighty shocks, crushing and grinding a way through some, twisting and turning to avoid others, she seemed like a living thing fighting a great fight." As such, though not armed, it is sturdy and may prove dangerous if used as a “battering ram.” Among her crew are skilled Navy personnel, Surgeons, Scientists, and even cooks, all hand-picked out of 8,000 applicants. The ponies, dogs, and sledges can also be used as transport for his crew while on land, though they are rather easily killed or destroyed. However, he did not have access to all of these resources for the entirety of his expedition. After being summoned for five days, he will no longer be able to project the Terra Nova or its full crew. He will only be able to materialize 16 of the crew, as well as the two remaining sledges, the remaining ponies, and the remaining dogs. This represents the beginning of Scott’s actual march to the South Pole, as many of the crew (and the ship) were obviously not able to come all the way with him. After a total of ten days, Scott will only be able to materialize the four men who travelled all the way to the South Pole with him. (Wilson, Oates, Bowers and Edgar Evans) From this day onward, he will also receive a rank down on all parameters. This in turn represents the beginning of the final leg to the South Pole and the great struggle that Scott and his companions faced. On day 13, he will be unable to summon Evans or Oates, who were the first and second to die on the return trip. At the beginning of the fifteenth day, Scott will be unable to summon anything or anyone, as all of his remaining companions had died. At the end of the fifteenth day (assuming he lives that long), Scott will automatically freeze and die, representing the grisly fate that awaited him at the end of his legend.
Lore/Personality:
Captain Robert Falcon Scott was a British Royal Navy officer and explorer who led two expeditions to the Antarctic regions: the Discovery Expedition, 1901–1904, and the ill-fated Terra Nova Expedition, 1910–1913. On the first expedition, he set a new southern record by marching to latitude 82°S and discovered the Polar Plateau, on which the South Pole is located. During the second venture, Scott led a party of five which reached the South Pole on 17 January 1912 after Roald Amundsen's Norwegian expedition. On their return journey, Scott's party discovered plant fossils, proving Antarctica was once forested and joined to other continents. A planned meeting with supporting dog teams from the base camp failed, although Scott had ordered his team to do so, and at a distance of 150 miles from their base camp and 11 miles from the next depot, Scott and his companions died from a combination of exhaustion, starvation and extreme cold.
Tell me what you think!
Scott regards himself as a proud and courageous hero, statements that are not without merit. However, these traits have been negatively affected by Innocent Monster and the opinions of late 20th century historians. Instead of proud, he may seem arrogant; instead of courageous, he may seem foolhardy. He is also prone to miscalculation and his plans are often flawed. However, he is a genuinely good person at heart, and one who will try his best to win the Holy Grail War for his master, himself, and England.
What is the point of this guy being a Servant if he's basically useless as a fighter AND as a supporter?
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Angra is special.
1. He's a pretty weak heroic spirit, too be honest. He's so young that he only barely makes the cutoff to even qualify, and his legend is based around a failure. It's not really surprising that he has below average stats. At least it's too low instead of too high.
2. I just liked the idea of a heroic spirit with a time limit, basically. If he is unable to eliminate any of his opponents early on, he's pretty much screwed. (He's pretty screwed either way, but that's beside the point.) I thought it worked well as a concept and it fit well with the Antarctic race of his legend. I suppose I could buff his initial stats, and then add more progressive debuffs down to his final stats. That might fit the concept a little better, and make a slightly less garbage servant.
3. Thanks for the feedback.
Class: Saberfc
Alignment: Neutral Good
Strength: A
Endurance: B
Agility: C
Prana: C
Luck: E
Noble Phantasm: C
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: C
Protection from magical effects. Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.
Riding: B
The ability to ride mounts. Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.
Personal Skills:
Protection of the First Crusaders: B
A skill possessed by those who partook in the First Crusade, and can be considered Crusaders.
At the rank of B, Saber has some protection in battle akin to miraculous intervention -- the same divine intervention that was said to have aided the Crusaders in their long journey to the Holy City of Jerusalem. Saber was reported to have been one of the first Crusaders that entered the city.
Military Tactics: C
The tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. In life, Saber had been a talented military commander, capturing much territory for the Crusader states.
Identity Turmoil: C
A trait possessed by those with a conflicting sense of self. Depending on the severity, this skill can bear similarity to Mad Enhancement, making the Servant act erratically as they fight against their inner desires.
In Saber’s case, it is the battle between his lust for power and honourable nature that ravages his conscience. While alive, this conflict brought him to conquer his enemies and betray those he could, despite how much he despised that part of himself.
Noble Phantasm:
Carver of the OutremerClorinda
Anti-Unit
Rank: C
A holy sword alit with a flame that does not burn. Saber’s most prized possession, something that could be said to be an extension of his very being. Never did it leave his side, and with it he carved out territory upon territory, for it was through this sword alone that he could find fulfillment.
Bearing similarity to a holy sword wielded by a certain paladin, within it is something that might be compared to a small miracle, for it has the capacity to assure absolute victory in a single battle. However, if it is activated for this purpose, the end of the conflict will result in the sword incinerating itself into ashes. In other words, it can only be released once.
Some stories say that should the sword’s victims repent before death, they will be forgiven - regardless of their past sins -- and end their life as proper Christians.
Saber had once intended to use it in his final battle. The event that would, at long last, cease his insatiable lust and grant him peace. However, he died before this battle could come.
Lore
Notes
Last edited by Sesto; July 28th, 2016 at 10:41 PM.
Okay guys, this is both my first post and first servant. Please feedback if needed
SERVANT RIDER
Appearance
Alternate Classes: Saber, Berserker, Assassin, Ruler
Alignment: Chaotic Good
STR: B
END: C
AGI: B
MAG: E
LUCK:A
NP: A
Catalyst: A piece of his embalmed heart
Likes: Scotland, Whisky, A Good Fight
Dislikes: England, Oppression, Foreign Occupation
Talents: Ambushes, leading men at battle
Natural Enemy: Edward I and II
Class Skills:
Riding (A): The ability to ride animals and vehicles. Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beasts and Divine Beasts can be used as mounts. However this does not apply to dragons.
Personal Skills:
Military Tactics (B): Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Throughout his lifetime, Rider has been skilled in evading and later defeating numerically and technologically superior armies under the Kings of England.
Charisma (B+): Natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. In his war to claim the Scottish crown, Rider has attracted a large number of his countrymen under his banner and succeeded where the likes of the great William Wallace himself has failed. Since then he has been remembered as one of the greatest kings of his country long after his death.
Disengage (C): The ability to break away from combat. Constantly on the run during an important part of his life, Rider has become familiar to guerrilla tactics that eventually allowed him to prevailed against supposedly superior foes.
Noble Phantasm:
· Bohun’s Bane: Axe of the Bruce (Anti-Unit)(B): Rider’s most prized weapon, it takes the form of a massive battle-axe that he can nevertheless wield with only one hand. The sharpness of the weapon’s edge, as well as Rider’s uncanny skill in wielding such a weapon ensures that even heavily armored enemy servants will receive grievous amount of damage if struck. However, if pitted against an enemy Servant with an Endurance Rank of A and above, the NP would have a chance of breaking apart, a nod to its ultimate fate when it smashed the skull of the English Knight who came close to killing Rider himself. To prevent such a scenario, Rider’s Master must be skilled in both Alchemy and the Art of the Blacksmith in order strengthen the NP.
· Bannockburn: Truimph of the Scots (Anti-Army)(A): A representation of Rider’s greatest victory against the English, it summons an army of Masterless servants that represent the people of Scotland who fought alongside Rider in the battle and are generally divided into three categories; Undisciplined but determined peasant spearmen and pikemen, fierce and tenacious Highland clansmen, and heavily armored Scottish Knights and Nobles. When summoned, Rider would lead them through either in a defensive stance in which they protect and deter with their bristling pikes and spears, or an offensive attack in which the clansmen and nobles would attack the opponent head-on while their less lauded counterparts lauch an attack from an unprotected angle.
Background: Rider’s true identity is Robert I “the Bruce”, one of Scotland’s greatest warrior kings who would successfully win Scotland’s independence after her apparent defeat following the death of William Wallace.
Born in a time when Scotland faced a crisis of succession, Robert would grow up to see his father take a bid for the crown only to be denied in favour of the inept John Balliol. Despite personally hating the English for their oppressive and obstructive policies, Robert initially served them loyally as the Earl of Carrick after the death of his father. In the aftermath of Wallace’s gruesome execution in 1305, however, Robert began to take discreet measures against the Plantagenet Crown. When he murdered the traitorous John Comyn before the latter could have betrayed their position, he soon found no choice but to crown himself King of Scotland, or more accurately, the Mastermind of a resurging Scottish uprising, which he would achieve at Scone in 1306.
He would be subsequently be excommunicated by the behest of Edward “Hammer of the Scots”, the same monarch who oversaw the downfall of Wallace, and would serve as Bruce’s greatest opponent until he died the following year. Until then, Robert would be on the run, conducting guerrilla warfare against the approaching English army while his relatives are arrested and executed across Scotland.
However, with the death the Hammer of the Scots and the succession of his incompetent son the Prince of Wales, Robert seized the opportunity, gathering a strong fighting force and capturing key Scottish castles and fortresses. The Prince of Wales, now Edward II, confronted Robert in the fields outside the town of Bannockburn. In a ferocious battle that saw Bruce barely avoiding death at the hands of the English knight Henry de Bohun, the Scots would triumph, sending the once proud and ruthless English army running for their lives towards the safety of Dunbar Castle. After the victory, Robert would spend the remainder of his life legitimizing his rule and was finally recognized as King of Scotland a year before his death in 1329.
With his own life a relative success, Rider’s only wish for winning the war is to see Scotland once more, and if possible, rule it as a wise king rather as a beleaguered warrior.
Last edited by Ramseph Boltstar; July 29th, 2016 at 11:52 PM.
I'd lower the ranks of the NPs, but other than that it's well written and formatted. Certainly not bad for your first one.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
List of Servants I've made
Why is the image so blurry? Other then that, it's pretty good for a first sheet. NPs aren't the most creative (particularly an appearance of ye olde army summon) but they work. And I get he's probably supposed to be the kind of Servant who doesn't so much rely on his NPs to fight.
I agree with Fundy that the NP ranks are too high. Bohun's Bane should be B or even C given its lack of any real special properties (well, the only one it has is detrimental to him). Bannockburn is probably also too high for what's basically 'summoning a bunch of armed Scotsman'. Given that it's supposed to be his trump card, A+ should suffice. (Though frankly, even B+ could be enough IMO)
Nice to see a new person showing up here! It was starting to look like it was just me and Hermes around here...
Alright, I'm back with my second servant. I'm also going to post some feedback for the heroic spirits that were posted yesterday in a little while. Anyway, here's my archer:
Class: Archer
Alternate Classes: Rider
Alignment: Lawful Good
Place of Origin: England
Strength- C
Endurance- B
Agility- A
Mana- C
Luck- B
Height/Weight: 6’3”/175 pounds
Likes: England, the Bahamas, his Crew
Dislikes: Spain, Pirates
Talent: Privateering, Getting rid of pirates
Natural Enemy: Blackbeard, Pirates (generally), the Spanish (generally)
Wish: To eliminate all Piracy
Class Skills:
Independent Action (A) - It is possible to take action even without a Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great magical energy consumption, backup from the Master is necessary.
Magic Resistance (C) - Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.
Personal Skills:
Golden Rule (B) - This skill measure’s one’s fortune to acquire wealth. With this rank the Servant will be able to acquire a fortune, but the money is not infinite and expending it without care will temporarily empty their funds.
Voyager of the Storm (X/A) - This is the talent to sail vessels recognized as ships. Because the ability as a group leader is also necessary, this unique skill also has the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics. The actual talent to sail ships is sealed as an archer, but the Charisma and Military Tactics included in Voyager of the Storms are not.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Lore/Personality
Last edited by 4score7years; July 29th, 2016 at 04:50 PM. Reason: Holy wall of text, batman! Added some spaces in the lore section.
Making the pistols Noble Phantasms is pretty pointless, IMO. They're nothing special.
I don't know a lot of 18th century guns that shoot 36 rounds per second. But yeah, I feel like this guy would shine better as a Rider, given his connection to the ships.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
List of Servants I've made
Alright, here's the feedback I mentioned. Keep in mind that I'm pretty new at this whole thing, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Tancred- Awesome. Very well balanced, and with some really creative and flavorful skills (Identity Turmoil in particular.) I also really like the "small miracle" aspect of Clorinda: undeniably powerful, but with a heavy drawback. The background and personality you've created for him is cool as well. I'd love to see this guy in a holy grail war. Nice work.
Robert the Bruce- Nice to see that I'm not the only new guy. What a coincidence that we both posted on the same day! Solid first entry. (Certainly better than my own.) I don't have a whole lot to say that hasn't already been said, though. Noble Phantasms should be a lower rank, army summon is a bit cliche, but its not that big a deal. Good job.
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Hence the "contrary to their old-fashioned appearance". And yeah, I considered making a full rider profile, but I couldn't think of any phantasms beyond the obvious "summon some boats" phantasm, which I feel like has been done to death on this forum. (There are only so many ways to summon a boat.) Happy to replace the pistol phantasm with a boat phantasm and change the class to rider if you guys think I should, though.
Always nice to see some new guys around here. I do like your sheets and I would comment but everything I have to say has already been covered. Anyways, boom. Caster.
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Class: Caster
True Name: Orochimaru
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Place of Origin: Japan
Strength- D
Endurance- E
Agility- D
Mana- A+
Luck- C
NP- A+
Height/Weight: 166cm/47kg
Likes: Gaining Power
Dislikes: Toads, Slugs
Talent: Maleficium
Natural Enemy: Jiraiya, The Complete Serpent
Class Skills:
- Territory Creation (B) - Creation of a "Nest" equal to a Temple becomes possible.
- Item Creation (C) - Orochimaru specialises in poisons, so he can't make any other types of tools.
Personal Skills:
- Eye of the Mind (True) (B) - Capable of calm analysis of battle conditions even when in danger and deduce an appropriate course of action after considering all possibilities to escape from a predicament. So long there is even a 1% chance of a comeback, this ability greatly improves the chances of winning.
- Nature of a Rebellious Spirit (C) - The temperament to never remain at one location and never embrace a lord. A wandering star that does not have the capacity to be king nor is capable of finding his own king. Negates the effects of Charisma with the same rank.
- Snake Magic (A+) - A unique magecraft system using the maleficium of snakes as a base. It's primary purpose is that of destruction and harming others using poison and other such means that is harmful to nature. He also possesses a unique phisiology that allows him to spawn magical snakes and can even turn part of his body into snakes. For example, her arms can transform into giant snakes at will, but she can also summon snakes on there own for battle as well. They can vary in size as well. This unique Skill also has the effects of both Shapeshifting and Familiar (Snakes).
Noble Phantasm
Lore
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Had an idea for this guy in the works for quite a while. Back when I made Yamata-no Orochi 2.0 I said other heads could appear as servants so here's one. Yes I may have muddled a bit with the lore a bit but I couldn't find as much as I likes so I filled in the blanks. For those who are confused why I continually refer to Yamata-no-Orochi, read the lore section in his sheet to clear things up a bit.
Quest of Fate
Apocrypha Universe Fate Quest Project
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Beast's Lair Discord Server For Fate Quests
Hermes Servant Collection Master Post
Probably the most appropriate place to ask. How would you guys make the Ship of Theseus into a Noble Phantasm? Not the hero himself and not the ship he rode, but rather the well-known paradox. It's apparently a pretty old paradox too so it probably kinda qualifies.
Hmm..that's a tricky one. I'll have to think about that for a little while. You could do something conceptual I suppose. (Regenerative abilities or something?) You could also do something about making copies of other Noble Phantasms if the servant can acquire a piece of them. (If he could acquire a piece of like Caliburn or something, he could recreate it using new parts, though perhaps at a lower rank. The problem with that is that like 80% of Noble Phantasms are indestructible, which makes this ability useless in most cases. Broken Phantasms are a thing, though. This phantasm would be insane with Shirou as the master, lol.) That should get you started. I'll post again if I think of anything else.
is this a "noble phantasm in a box" type deal
or do you have a servant who is going to be using said noble phantasm
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
what
Localizationing stuff
Basically every Noble Phantasm can be destroyed. Well, the physical ones, anyway. Don't know how you'd go about destroying one of the abstract concept ones like God Hand or Knight of Honor.
Though maybe those aren't the best examples, since they can be destroyed sort of.
Well, this is my Lancer Odin. I couldn't find a Faceclaim that I liked, and about the creation, I couldn't make a good Gungnir, and it got pretty mediocre and I accept sugestions to a effect to it.
My Odin is not the god, but the king as told in the Prose Edda. This part in particular:
"One king among them was called Múnón or Mennón; and he was wedded to the daughter of the High King Priam, her who was called Tróán; they had a child named Trór, whom we call Thor. [...] his son was he who is named Vóden, whom we call Odin: he was a man far-famed for wisdom and every accomplishment. Odin had second sight, and his wife also; and from their foreknowledge he found that his name should be exalted in the northern part of the world and glorified above the fame of all other kings. Therefore, he made ready to journey out of Turkland, and was accompanied by a great multitude of people, young folk and old, men and women; and they had with them much goods of great price. And wherever they went over the lands of the earth, many glorious things were spoken of them, so that they were held more like gods than men. They made no end to their journeying till they were come north into the land that is now called Saxland; there Odin tarried for a long space, and took the land into his own hand, far and wide."
So, tl;dr: Odin is a King of Troy who went to North and became a God.
Identity: Votan
Title: “King of the Wise”
Alternative Classes: Rider, Caster, Berserker
Gender: Male
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Background: According to Snorri Sturluson, author of the Prose Edda, Votan was an Asian ruler of Thrace and Troy. Born many generations after Priam, the king of Troy during the Trojan War, Votan was a wise and powerful leader. He traveled far north, where his legends and deeds were merged with their indigenous god, Odin. Votan became an avatar of the god for their people, soon becoming their king, the first King of Sweden. It is hard to discern between Votan legends and Odin myths apart, and for many, they were the same entity.
Parameters
Skills
NP
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