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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #10061
    薔薇族の眠り Nuclear Consensus's Avatar
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    Why does she have Independent Action? I feel it's largely unnecessary.

  2. #10062
    It's related to her expansion of divorce and property rights for women, the period when she was left to fend for herself after she was abandoned by the government official she was shacking up with, and her telling her husband that while he could run away like a coward over the Nika Riots she was going to stay put. Being independent of her "masters" was a big part of Theodora's character.
    Last edited by Barbarossa; January 17th, 2015 at 04:20 AM.

  3. #10063
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Hagi Sophia is cool even if it's a Hanging Gardens clone. It's a bit weird though for her to be Caster since I see no mention of magecraft. If you use Independent Action at all it shouldn't be at such a high rank.
    Last edited by Funderfullness; January 17th, 2015 at 04:05 AM.
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

    List of Servants I've made

  4. #10064
    I struggled with what class Theodora should be when creating her. The only other class that I thought might fit was Assassin, and although she was responsible for the slaughter of upwards of 30,000 rioters and was incredibly manipulative in life, I didn't really see her as fitting into the Assassin class. I couldn't see her being Lancer since the Lance of Longinus is a secondary NP and even with it's buffs does not put her within the class perimeters to be a Lancer. Her magecraft is more or less the sanctified charms she can construct to turn areas into temporary no fight zones.

    Would c rank independent action be better?

  5. #10065
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    That's reasonable. At least you gave a better justification for it than "she's a strong independent black woman who don't need no man".
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

    List of Servants I've made

  6. #10066
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Sevant info:
    Spoiler:


    Name:
    Zumbi
    Class: Archer
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

    Strength: C
    Endurance: B
    Agility: B
    Mana: D
    Luck: E
    Noble Phantasm: B


    Skills
    Spoiler:
    Class Skills:

    Independent Action: A+
    Servant can remain in this world indefinitely even without a Master. However, in order to activate his Noble Phantasm, it is necessary to first acquire an extra supply of prana from alternative sources.

    Magic Resistance:
    D
    Cancel Single-Action spells.

    Personal Skills:

    Battle Continuation: A
    Makes possible to fight even with deadly injuries and can remain alive so long as one does not receive a decisive fatal wound. Although not immortal as the legends about him said, Zumbi still possessed inhuman vitality.

    Capoeira:
    B
    Martial art of African roots developed in Brazil by Angolan slaves, involving dance-like movements. Because of this, it could be trained hidden in plain sight from the slaveowners. At B-rank, Eye of the Mind (False) or Instinct is required for one to not be caught off-guard when first meeting this art.

    Charisma:
    C-
    Greatly increases the morale of troops. Does not affect anyone of Lawful alignment.

    Subversive Activites: C
    Up to 20% of enemy forces can be disabled before entering combat.


    Noble Phantasm
    Spoiler:
    Angola Janga - Palmares of Freedom

    Anti-Unit, Rank B

    A crystallization of the ideal of freedom of the Quilombos in the form of a bow, impregnated with the desire for freedom of the African slaves. A weapon inimical to all those who would dare to take away the freedom of others.

    Any servant hit by an arrow from this bow must make a Mana check. If unsuccesful, a mental interference effect will take place. Over the course of the following week, their alignment will slowly begin to shift towards Chaotic. They will begin to value freedom more and more, eventually beginning to dislike their positions as servants. In addition to that, they will acquire Independent Action of Rank E the day after being hit. On every day after that, it will receive 1 permanent Rank-Up, until it finally reaches A+. The day after reaching that rank, the servant will be compelled to kill their master. These effects can be negated with a Command Spell, but only before the servants's Independent Action reaches A+.

    Servants of Chaotic alignment will immediately receive Independent Action of Rank A+ and be compelled to kill their master, while those who already have Independent Action will immediately shift towards Chaotic. A Chaotic servant with Independent Action ignores the effects of this Noble Phantasm.


    Lore
    Spoiler:
    The most famous Brazilian leader of resistance against slavery. Zumbi was born in the Palmares community of escaped slaves, descendant of the Imbangala warriors of Angola.

    At age 6, he was captured by the Portuguese and given to be raised by a priest. Despite receiving education from whites, he fled back to Palmares when he was 15. His physical prowess and cunningness earned him great fame and adoration. It was there that he earned the nickname Zumbi, meaning "ghost" and referring to his supposed immortality. When the "king" of Palmares Ganga Zumba decided to surrender to the Portuguese, Zumbi challenged his leadership. The people of Palmares then chose him to be their new king.

    Zumbi's kingship lasted 15 years, until the destruction of Palmares in 1695. Although wounded, he managed to flee and hide himself. However, he was betrayed by a mulatto who led the Portuguese to his hideout in exchange for his own life. Zumbi was killed and beheaded, and his head was publicly displayed in order to instill fear in the hearts of the slaves.

  7. #10067
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Ha.

    As someone from Hueland i didn't expect that in this thread

    Good stuff Behemoth

  8. #10068
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Well, I have to write at least ONE servant from my country.

  9. #10069

    Class:
    Rider
    Name: The Blind Beggar
    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Stats
    STR: E(C) END: D(A)

    AGI: E(B) MGI: D(C)
    LCK: E(C) NP: A

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance E: (D) Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.
    Riding C: (A) Most vehicles can be handled at below average skill.However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.
    Presence Concealment: C Hides one's presence as a Servant. Suitable for spying. The rank of presence concealment drops considerably when preparing to attack. However, this condition does not apply to poisoning something.


    Personal Skills:
    Beggar C: sympathetic aura that replicates the effects of Charisma of the same rank
    Blindness C: Reduced ability to perceive enemy servants
    Bravery B: the ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination.
    Military Tactics B: tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.
    Loyalty C: Unlikely to rebel or plot against his Master and will obey orders that run contrary to his personal beliefs without the need of a command spell. (Only applicable after activation of Noble Phantasm)



    Noble Phantasms:

    Imperial Edict: Retirement Revoked
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: -
    Maximum number of targets: 1

    Description: By use of a command spell the visage of the Blind Beggar disappears and Rider’s true nature as the Heroic Spirit Belisarius is revealed. The shadow of Rider’s tragic end is thrown off and the General is restored to the height of his capabilities. As a result, Rider loses the skills Presence Concealment, Beggar, and Blindness. Beggar is replaced with Charisma C and Rider’s Riding skill rises to A rank and his Magic Resistance rises to D. Rider gains the personal skill Loyalty rank C. After activation all of Rider’s states are increased and Rider gains access to his two true Nobel Phantasms. Imperial Edict can be revoked by Rider's Master without the use of a command spell, once again reducing Rider to the Blind Beggar.

    Equites Cataphractarii
    Rank: B+
    Type: Anti-Army
    Range: 1-50
    Maximum number of targets: 100

    Description: During their heyday, the Cataphract was the tank of the battlefield. Cataphracts were very heavily armored horseman, with both the rider and mount draped from head to toe in scale armor. With both himself and his stead heavily armored Rider becomes immune to all attacks below A rank and is capable of effortlessly riding down targets without the need of his kontos. Because of the heavily armored nature of this NP, Rider's agility is reduced by one rank while wearing the his armor. Rider's armor is only active when he is atop his armored steed and disappears the moment he dismounts his horse.

    Charge of the Bucellarii
    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-Fortress
    Range: 10-100
    Maximum number of targets: 800
    Description: After being noticed by the Emperor, Rider was given permission to form a bodyguard regiment of heavy cavalry, the bucellarii, which he later expanded into a personal household regiment, 1,500 strong. Supported not by the state, but by the great general himself, the warriors formed the backbone of his every military campaign. Calling upon his 1,500 warriors, Rider is imbued with their collective strength and speed and charges a target with impossible power and swiftness, becoming a nearly unstoppable freight train of power as the collective power of his army is channeled into his charge. The power required to halt his lone charge would need to be capable of killing all 1,500 of his former charging heavy cavalrymen at once.


    Lore
    True Name: Belisarius The Last Roman
    “Old Soldiers never die, the simply fade away,” alas for Rider, an honorable death in the midst of pitched battle would have been a better end to one so honorable and determined. In life, Rider dedicated himself to a dying dream, conquering North Africa and Italy and returning the Mediterranean Sea to the state of being a Roman Lake. Loyal to a fault, Rider denied the emperorship of the lands he had conquered when he was offered it by Italian nobles, instead choosing to remain loyal to his emperor. Even in the face of his loyalty he was cast aside and removed from command by his emperor at the scheming wishes of the Empress Theodora. Brought out of retirement when his emperor called upon him, Rider smashed the enemies of the state and in return was, once again, tossed aside. Legend has it that the heroic general was blinded and left a penniless beggar. Though these stories appear to be apocryphal, most artistic depictions of the great hero have been of him as a blind old popper, forced to subsist of the kindness of others. As a result of this tainting of his legend, Rider is first summoned as the Blind Beggar that he is so widely depicted as.
    Last edited by Barbarossa; January 18th, 2015 at 06:12 AM. Reason: clarity

  10. #10070
    薔薇族の眠り Nuclear Consensus's Avatar
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    Three points for Hetairoi clone.

  11. #10071
    Quote Originally Posted by Nuclear Consensus View Post
    Three points for Hetairoi clone.
    What? Did I word it wrong? He doesn't summon his army with a RM. He is temporarily granted the strength and speed of his bucellarii; their collective might is channeled into him in a single charge.
    Last edited by Barbarossa; January 18th, 2015 at 02:09 AM.

  12. #10072
    薔薇族の眠り Nuclear Consensus's Avatar
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    Whoops. There I go again, jumping to conclusions. I'm frankly embarrassed.

  13. #10073
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    OKAY! I'm just gonna jump in with this.

    Caster
    Identity: Cleopatra VII, The Last Queen of Egypt
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Catalyst: An ancient, threadbare carpet

    Stats: STR: E
    END: E
    AGI: C
    MAG: A
    LUCK: C
    NP: B


    Class Skills: Territory Creation (B+): Creation of a workshop becomes possible. Using her Noble Phantasm, Caster can upgrade it to a Library.

    Item Construction (C):
    Allows for the creation of various potions.


    Personal Skills: Divinity (C): As a pharaoh, Caster would be considered to be a living god, however her rank in this stat is reduced. She is still granted certain privileges, such as usage of magecraft that governs water and sunlight.

    Charisma (A+): As she has a reputation as one of the most beautiful women in history, famous for her affairs with Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, Caster holds a high rank in this skill.

    Familiars (B): Using her second Noble Phantasm, Caster can summon snakes to use as her familiars.


    Noble Phantasms

    Library of Alexandria - Repository of Ancient Knowledge (D, Anti Territory): A Noble Phantasm that can only be activated in her workshop, it turns it into a Library, granting her access to the archives of the famed Library of Alexandria, said to contain all the world's knowledge. The amount of wisdom contained in the archives is massive, and contains such treasures as lost and forgotten magic, information on Heroic Spirits, and the recipes for a variety of different concoctions. However, the information is not instinctual, and Caster has to manually search for the information she wants. It is, after all, a library.

    Asp's Fang - The Serpent's Venomous Bite (B, Anti Unit): The legends surrounding Cleopatra's death state that she allowed a snake to bite her. This legend has become weaponised as her second Noble Phantasm. Using her snake familiars, Caster can both restrain and envenomate her opponents. She can also alter the poison her snakes use, however she must brew them manually. At its highest level, the poisons are lethal in seconds, however as this is a legend of Caster's suicide, unleashing this attack's true power will result in her death.




    So OK, I tried not to make her overpowered. How did I do?
    Last edited by asterism42; January 18th, 2015 at 03:06 PM.

  14. #10074
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    I'd say you did pretty well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  15. #10075
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    Oh good...

    I just didn't want to throw around A+ and EX like they're confetti.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  16. #10076
    Why is the Library of Alexandria one of Cleopatra's NPs? It kind of seems like it would be more fitting for it to be the NP of Demetrius or Ptolemy I.

  17. #10077
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    Because Alexandria was the capital of Egypt during her reign, because I liked the idea and really wanted to use it, and because thinking up Noble Phantasms is hard.

    Sides, it can't be any worse than Semiramis having the Hanging Gardens, or Ramesses having Ra's solar barge, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  18. #10078
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    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    Sides, it can't be any worse than Semiramis having the Hanging Gardens, or Ramesses having Ra's solar barge, right?
    Semiramis specifically has Hanging Gardens because of a historical misunderstanding (Mostly because lol who the fuck is this Nebuchadnazzar guy, we want to hear about the queen with the huge knockers), and Ramesses is literally said to be Horus and Ra in human form in some legends, so it's not unreasonable (Also neither had those things in life, if that helps).
    Last edited by Christemo; January 19th, 2015 at 03:44 AM.

  19. #10079
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    It does help, thanks. At least it can be argued that Cleo owned the Library. Unless it was destroyed during her reign, which it might have been.

    And Ramesses also has the Sphinx as a NP, which I'm pretty sure he has no excuse for.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  20. #10080
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    From the hypostyle hall, one enters the second pillared hall, which has four pillars decorated with beautiful scenes of offerings to the gods. There are depictions of Ramesses and Nefertari with the sacred boats of Amun and Ra-Harakhti.
    http://www.crystalinks.com/Ramesses_II.html

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    It does help, thanks. At least it can be argued that Cleo owned the Library. Unless it was destroyed during her reign, which it might have been.

    And Ramesses also has the Sphinx as a NP, which I'm pretty sure he has no excuse for.
    .

    Quote Originally Posted by library of Alexandria wikipedia page
    A single piece of writing might occupy several scrolls, and this division into self-contained "books" was a major aspect of editorial work. King Ptolemy II Philadelphus (309–246 BC) is said to have set 500,000 scrolls as an objective for the library.[7] Mark Antony supposedly gave Cleopatra over 200,000 scrolls for the library as a wedding gift, taken from the great Library of Pergamum, but this is regarded by some historians as a propagandist claim meant to show Antony's allegiance to Egypt rather than Rome.[8]

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