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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #11061
    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    I was toying around with the idea of a Lancer Guan Yu, and while looking things up, noticed that his blade was also known as the Frost Fair Blade, because in battles in the cold, the blood of his enemies would form a layer of frost on the blade.

    Think that would work as a mechanic for a NP? Like, I dunno, blood ice manipulation on the blade, where the more damage he deals, the more blood-ice he can manipulate or something?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

  2. #11062
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    That sounds cool. Have him eventually just be swinging around a 30 foot tower of ice.

  3. #11063
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six
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    My two cents: everything the blade touches it freezes. Liquids such as blood in particular do it more easily. Dangerous as even small cuts, while not deadly, can lead to potentially big body parts become frostbitten. I just have a thing for freezing my enemies into icicles.
    Last edited by Sherrinford; April 22nd, 2015 at 01:40 PM.


  4. #11064
    Class: Caster
    True Name: Lam-Ang
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Natural Enemy: Servants that utilize water, Other Casters

    STR : B
    MGI : B
    END : B
    LCK : C
    AGI : B
    NP: B

    Class and Personal Skills:___________________________________________ ________________________


    Magic Resistance: B+++

    Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected. This stat has been augmented by his countless amulets and talismans.

    Territory Creation : B+
    Creation of a "Workshop" becomes possible. He does not even have to be directly involved in its creation. He can merely leave instructions for others to set up ritual grounds, though these territories are short-lived and have an effective rank of C.

    Item Creation : B+
    Lam-Ang specializes in the creation of specialized amulets that ward off magic and misfortune, at a level that is almost instinctive. The amulets can take many forms, from necklaces to rings and other accessories. He does not fight without wearing at least a few of his own creations. He does not even have to be directly involved in the creation of such items, giving his allies simple instructions for their production.


    Familiar (Rooster, Hen and Dog) : A

    Allows him to possess a rooster, a hen and a dog as familiars. Lam-ang can use them as a medium for his magical abilities and can even speak through their mouths. These familiars allow him to interact with the physical world even when dematerialized. Beyond this, he can achieve truly miraculous feats using these familiars, such as powerful kinetic blasts that can destroy houses, and the ability to repair them in an instant.

    He is so closely bonded to his familiars that his spiritual core can never be completely destroyed for as long as his familiars are still alive and contracted to him. When these conditions are in effect, Lam Ang can be defeated in battle but doesnt dissipate into prana like other servants. He will usually leave behind remains of some sort like a normal corpse. When retrieved, they can be used by Lam Ang's familiars to prepare a ritual that reconstructs his spiritual core.

    Natural Body : B
    is the possession of a perfect body as a living being from birth. The owner of this Skill is treated as if his STR is always Rank-Up. Lam-Ang was born with the strength and muscle memory of a warrior. He was capable of fighting and talking as soon as he was born.


    Clairvoyance : A
    He received visions from the ghost of his dead father, and accurately determined the manner of his own death. At this level, his precognition can even be used in the thick of combat. It is believed that this supernatural sense is what allowed him to quickly master his magic and fighting skills at a very young age. In addition, he is naturally adept at seeking out hidden items and treasures. (Though it is suspected that he merely conjures these things to be found later)

    Double Summon : A
    Lam-Ang is supremely skilled and knowledgeable in the sorcerous arts - even though he is more renown as a warrior with peerless skills in swordplay and battle. He has been summoned as a Caster, though he possesses Saber Class skills.




    Noble Phantasms:________________________________________ _________________________________

    Faithful Kampilan
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Army


    A Kampilan (single-edged long sword) with a strangely-colored and oddly-shaped blade, as if made of some unearthly material. The legends say that this weapon was a spear or a sword that instantly appeared in the ground for him to pick up, others say he already had it as he left to avenge his father. Using this weapon, he slew countless monsters and an entire tribe of igorots.

    The true power of the Kampilan is its almost almighty ability to manipulate space and distances. The blade itself is made of some unknown material that can 'cut' open seams in time-space, allowing him to create short-lived portals.

    Use of these portals are limited only by his imagination, but it seems transporting living beings through them only ends in tragedy. The portals tear any living thing caught in them apart before they are deposited through the other end of the portal. (usually some place far away) Thus, he avoids using this method to transport himself and his allies.

    Using this ability, he slew countless Igorots in an instant, mowing them down with a single slash. A giant monster he slew was found nine hills away from their battleground.

    It is also capable of instantly conjuring a magical sticky rice cake, that upon summoning, appears stuck to its blade. The sticky rice is some kind of phantasmal delicacy that grants him a short-lived bonus to his Magical Resistance stat. Its origin is unknown, possibly from some alien dimension he can access with this sword's spatial distortions.




    Bath at the Amburayan River
    Rank: C
    Type: Anti-Water Source


    Lam-Ang must completely immerse himself in a body of water to activate this. It completely poisons that body of water, rendering death to all creatures that live in it or subsist on it. The poison instantly spreads throughout the water source, including any connecting creeks, rivers or waterways - this lasts for a whole day. Mundane creatures that ingest or are completely submerged in the liquid automatically die, while Servants and Phantasmal creatures may roll their Endurance to resist this supernatural poison.

    Lam-Ang can only use this Noble Phantasm once during the Grail War. After completing this noble Phantasm's activation, he becomes immaculately handsome and clean, never needing a bath ever again.





    __________________________________________________ _____________________________________
    My first time doing all this. I noticed that all the other usual Filipino heroes were taken but not this guy.
    Last edited by Paorou; April 29th, 2015 at 08:41 PM.

  5. #11065
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    I like it but I'd also say that its probably really overwanked, especially since hes not from the Age of Gods (which by the way, High-Speed Divine Words, is exclusive to. It's specifically unpronounceable by post-CE humans.)

  6. #11066
    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    I like it but I'd also say that its probably really overwanked, especially since hes not from the Age of Gods (which by the way, High-Speed Divine Words, is exclusive to. It's specifically unpronounceable by post-CE humans.)
    I first read CE as Cheat Engine. It was oddly appropriate.

  7. #11067
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six
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    Class: Rider
    True Name: Jason, Leader of the Argonauts
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Natural Enemy: Caster, Berserker, anti-heroes who get the job done and are just as cool as the Red Ranger even when being lone wolves of questionable strategies and ethics.


    STR: B MGI: C
    END: B LCK: B+
    AGI: A NP: ?




    I am the Ally of Justice,Yoroi Rider! Superheroes never lose!”


    Class and Personal Skills:___________________________________________ ________________________

    Riding: A+
    It’s the expertise to ride animals and vehicles. At this level, creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

    Magic Resistance: C
    It grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects prana, this ability cancels the spells altogether. At this level it cancels spells with a chant below two verses. It’s important to note that the term "verse" refers to a set of three lines. Thus, a chant of two verses is equivalent to a Six-Line incantation. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

    Voyager of the Storm: B
    The talent to sail vessels recognized as ships. Because the ability as a group leader is also necessary, this unique Skill also has the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics.

    Ally of Justice: B+
    A parameter modifier. A skill that grants a bonus when fighting aligned with the Good alignment.
    It prevents Noble Phantasms and Skills to be sealed. Furthermore it randomly increases one stat byf one Rank for the length of one turn, each turn. It also grants a bonus for critical damage – either inflicted or received, successfully defended against.
    As long as Jason was fighting according to the paragon of justice and heroism set by Hera, he always had the upper hand, and was rewarded for this.


    Noble Phantasm:_________________________________________ ________________________________


    Argonautica: Accomplishment of Many Heroes
    Rank: E~A
    Type: Anti-Unit

    In the style of Saint Seiya, it’s a scaled-down representation of the Argo, in the form of a totem. Its individual components separate and clad Jason upon their invocation in the form of an armor. Each part is named after one of the Argonauts and is the equivalent of a Noble Phantasm, mirroring the attributes and skills of their namesakes. Among them are:

    Spoiler:
    Calaïs & Zetes: E
    A pair of winged greaves named after the Boreads, son of the wind god Boreas, and as such they were born with the ability to fly, a feat this Noble Phantasm can repeat.

    Amphion & Zethus: D
    Two armguards in the shape of shields.

    Ancaeus: D
    A double-bladed axe.

    Telamon: D
    A discus that can cut through everything like a circular saw blade.

    Poeas: C
    A repeating crossbow named after the best archer among the Argonauts.

    Eurytus: C
    Named after the son of the archer-god Apollo, it’s a volley of small missiles unleashed from the shoulderplates.

    Orpheus: C
    A recorded song that starts playing in critical moments, inciting and coordinating attacks... basically the equivalent of the iconic music that plays during the hero’s dramatic comeback, like Number One or Ai Wo Torimodose. “Every hero needs his own theme song!”
    It may sound ridiculous, but it does actually provide a boost to morale, increasing the overall fighting power.

    Caeneus: B
    A cuirass named after the invulnerable hero.

    Castor & Pollux: B
    The left gauntlet and right lance-rest, named after the divine twin heroes inventors of boxe.

    Meleager: B
    A spear, named after the famous hero who killed the Calydonian Boar.

    Peryclimenus: B
    His grandfather Poseidon gave him the ability to shapeshift into various animals. Part of the uppeer torso, it grants illusion-casting abilities but due to it not being a “honourable” thing for a Hero, Rider rarely if never employs it.

    Peleus: B
    A sword. Named after the famous father of Achilles.

    Idmon: B
    One of the seers of the mission, who predicted his own death in the expedition. Part of the visor. It grants an A-Rank level of Instinct.

    Lynceus: B
    Capable of seeing through trees, walls and underground. Part of the visor.

    Over the shoulders Jason wears the Golden Fleece, like a majestic cape. It has however a purely aesthetic function.


    Argo Navis: Swiftest Ship of Heroes
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit (Support)



    Nishishishi~

    The true and proper form of Rider’s Noble Phantasm, the manifested warship on which the greatest heroes of their generations sailed towards adventure. It gets its name from its builder, Argus, who was aided in the its construction by the goddess Athena, the customary patron of heroes. Furthermore, the ship was said to be blessed by Hera, goddess sponsor of Jason.
    According to legends the prow was built using magical wood from the sacred forest of Dodona and could speak and render prophecies. At the end of the endeavour, after Jason safely returned to Iolcos, it was furthermore consacrated to Poseidon, and at the end of her career it was rewarded with the honour properly given to the greatest heroes, and translated into the sky, immortalized as the constellation of the Argo Navis. Because of this, it can now sail through air just as easily as in water.
    Its true nature is that of a full-fledged sentient, and independent object inhabited by a Guardian Spirit, along the lines of Nanako or the spirit inhabiting Argon Coin: a Nature Spirit from the sacred forest who agreed to accompany the expedition. However, when Jason is summoned as a Rider, she is pretty much forced to obey his commands thrugh the use of Tiphys, the Noble Phantasm that acts as the interface between the user and the ship. Her personality is that of a quirky ‘younger sister’-type, although when it’s needed she can quickly become serious and get her head in the game, dispensing wise advise.
    Whoever her current Rider-user is, while he’s aboard of her deck, he can channel through her mystical prerogatives the skills of her previous sailors she has witnessed and recorded, the legendary Argonauts, including the boxing of Castor & Pollux, the pinpoint accurate archery of Poeas, the throwing skill of Meleager (spear) and Telamonius (discus), the musical skills of Orpheus, the priestly qualities in prophecy and healing of Amphiaraus and Eribotes, the shapeshifting ability of Peryclimenus, the eidetic memory of Aethalides, and the necessary steersmanship. All of this, however, with a rank-down, as he wouldn’t be their proper owner. Even so, due to the quality and variability of them, it effectively grants a level of Expert of Many Specializations of the highest rank.
    Furthermore, even if the structure of the ship is damaged, it can be repaired, as only the prow is the proper residence of the spirit, acting as the material anchor (no pun intended) for the existence of the Noble Phantasm as a whole.



    “What do you think I am? I’m an A-Rank Noble Phantasm, treat me with due respect! #=3=”


    Not kinda in the style, but still worth to mention:
    Hephaestus’ Yoke: Bulls of Bronze and Fire
    Rank: B+
    Type: Anti-Unit

    The Khalkotauroi forged by the god Hephaestus were two immense robot-like bulls of bronze that could breathe fire. As such, no mortal could go near them. For his first test to prove himself worthy of the Golden Fleece, Jason was tasked by Aeetes to tame and use them to plough a field. Jason was successful in this task only thanks to Medea, who gave him a magical salve that could protect him from fire and metal.
    They are an imposing sight that conveys caution, yoked to a plough of solid steel, and when incited they can rampage through earth as if it was paper, all while scorching the surrounding area.
    Unsuited to be the weapons of a true Superhero, at the very least they can be useful for a grandiose entrance. Jason rides them into the arena as Takeda Shingen from Sengoku Basara on his horses.

    __________________________________________________ _____________________________________

    Not gonna lie, it was inspired by Apple’s own profile.
    After Majokko Circe, have Jason as a one-man super sentai/tokusatsu hero, with Argo as his Megazord... ?
    The concept is also totally a pun on Kamen Rider.
    Other discarded skills were Expert of Many Specializations: EX and Salve of Protection: C
    In an ideal Fate/Apocrypha-inspired fanfic, Jason would be the stand-in for Sigfried, being quickly dispatched early on by Archer of Red. The sentient Argo Navis would however bond with an escaped homunculus, having foreseen a great evil in the form of the Master of the Red Faction, thus granting him the skills to continue to fight.


  8. #11068
    Lam ang isnt from the age of gods? okay, yeah, there are mentions of spaniards in the pedro bucareg transcript.

    So I should probably create a new skill for his spellcasting by proxy thing.

    I was wondering if I should just combine his instinct into clairvoyance.

  9. #11069
    Dancing Fairy Sunny's Avatar
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    Mm, it would be a good way to pare down the amount of skills. i'm not 100% on the proxycasting actually needing its own Personal Skill, personally, because it seems to me that 'method of magic' can be an unwritten thing or included as an aside somewhere else in the profile. 'This is something i can do' isn't always 1-for-1 'this shows up as a personal skill', especially where the sheet has 6-7 personal skills as it is.

    Edit: Also i like the NPs! Portal sword sounds pretty fun, though it's a shame not to have self/team transportation with it. but there's still a lot of neat tricks and/or weaponization you can do of that, lunch break option notwithstanding. that's a neat one.

    ...Argo Rider is certainly creative. i'm going to have to come back and look at that again after work, since the gifs hate my connection here. but it's a positive first impression on a Heroic Spirit i usually root to fail, lol.
    Last edited by Sunny; April 24th, 2015 at 12:43 PM.


    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments

    心に抱くその物語
    何を知れば満たされるのだろう?

  10. #11070
    6ix - The Void Clyton's Avatar
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    First time doing this so critique me!



    Class:
    Assassin
    True Name: Kotaro Fuma

    Spoiler:


    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Source: Japanese Mythology and History


    STR: B+ MGI: B
    END: B LCK: C
    AGI: B+ NP: A

    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment: A+
    It is possible for Assassin to disappear completely and become almost impossible to be detected. However, efficiency will decrease once preparations to attack are taken. This condition does not apply when preparing traps.

    Personal Skills:

    Subversive Activities: B
    The talent to reduce the enemy forces in the preliminary stages before going into battle. However, the higher the ranking of this skill, the more one's spiritual status as a hero declines. It is possible for Assassin to disable nearly 45% of the total military force before the enemy advances.

    Demonic Beast: B
    The inverse of the Divinity skill; the measure of whether one has a Demonic Beast aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Phantasmal Species, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Divine Spirit raises. Assassin's current rank stems from his heritage as a part-oni, part-human being.

    Mental Pollution: A+
    It makes it highly possible for Assassin to shut out any mental interference thaumaturgy due to possessing a distorted mentality. However, at the same time, it becomes impossible to come to an understanding with individuals that do not possess an equivalent rank of mental pollution. Assassin's current rank is the result of his mentality believing himself to be a demon born from the chaos and mayhem of the Sengoku warring states, living to see the continuation of eternal conflict.

    Independent Action: A+
    Assassin can remain in this world indefinitely even without a master. However, in order to activate his Noble Phantasm, it is necessary to first acquire an extra supply of prana from alternative sources. Assassin's current rank stems from his independence from his Hojo masters, taking on a role of a ninja acting within his Lords' shadow. Even after the fall of the Hojo clan, Kotaro and the rest of the Fuma clan remained in their subversive activities for at least over a decade.

    Noble Phantasms:

    200 Rappa Sento Kakuran: Fuma Warriors of Chaos
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Army

    The historical feats of Kotaro Fuma's notorious band of 200 Rappa "battle disruptors"; it allows the increase of Kotaro's Subversive Activities skill up to the rank of A++, being able to take out 90% of the forces only located within a camp or settlement. However, this rank increase is lost when any reinforcements arrive to support the targets of this Noble Phantasm. While Kotaro historically had four groups of his 200 Rappa in the form of brigands, pirates, burglars and thieves, the nature of this Noble Phantasm instead allows Assassin to create up to 200 clones that takes on the appearances and personalities of up to 200 random people within a camp or settlement, including any weaponry they might have had at the time of the Noble Phantasm's activation. These clones are indistinguishable from their mimicked counterparts and possesses all of their abilities and techniques; however, using them requires prana expenditure from Assassin himself, and in the case of servants, double the prana expenditure for Noble Phantasms. Assassin can use these 200 clones in many ways; most commonly, he can have them infiltrate the camp, taking the place of their mimicked counterparts as imposters and blending in before causing internal disruptions such as shedding false rumors, releasing the camp's riding animals (if any) out into the open, and causing small skirmishes, or he can have them all ride on horses (on which they are also created by Kotaro) and have them raid the camp with fire attacks. The purpose of this is to cause as much confusion as possible and disorient the army. The ensuing chaos would generate an environment where the original camp members would even attack their own allies because of their disorientation and confusion. This Noble Phantasm is only usable on what can be recognized as an area that constitutes a base, a camp, a settlement, etc. and only achieves its full described effectiveness during the middle of the night.

    Fuma Akuma no Yami: The Disease of Madness, The Plague of Mayhem
    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)

    The use of this Noble Phantasm seals the 200 Rappa Sento Kakuran Noble Phantasm and the Subversive Activities personal skill for the duration. This Noble Phantasm stems from the distorted rumors and myths that Kotaro Fuma himself had spread as a True Demon, an imaginary demon born from the desires of humans. He claims that he is a demon born from the darkness of human hearts, wishing to plague the land in chaos and mayhem and prolong it for eternity; thus, creating an everlasting land of warring states and conflict for all humans to unleash their true nature as violent beasts that thrives on fighting against each other. This rumor has spread to all people of his age to refer him as this specific kind of demon. This Noble Phantasm is usable in its full power on one condition: no one, not even his own master, must know his true identity as Kotaro Fuma (Kotaro's true name status will appear unknown to his master in the beginning of their pact as a condition). This is because for those who would know Assassin as Kotaro Fuma, the knowledge of him being a demon will be referred to his Oni Kind heritage and not the imaginary demon image. The greater the number of people that knows Assassin as Kotaro Fuma, the lesser the benefits Assassin will receive from this Noble Phantasm.

    The activation of this Noble Phantasm envelopes Kotaro in a thick, red blood mist-like aura. It increases Assassin's rank of Demonic Beast to A and increases all of his physical parameters by a rank. As an imaginary demon, it enables Assassin to use a reality marble, being able to summon forth a world where eternal chaos thrives in the form of a burning battlefield reminiscent of the Sengoku warring states with the Hojo clan's Odawara castle also present and burning in the reality marble; it is as if hell itself has invaded the earthly landscape. It increases his current skill of magecraft in the form of ninjutsu and genjutsu even further, able to do them without hand seals but rather at the mere thought or with a mere breath and at half the prana cost.

    Equipments and Other Abilities:

    Assassin fights with a pair of gauntlets. He has access to some smoke screens for escape scenarios and the famed Fuma Shurikens as his preferred projectile weapons; he only obtained them because of his connection to the Fuma clan despite never using them during his lifetime. He can execute fire attacks by smearing the area with oil before throwing in a lit match or through the usage of fire ninjutsu to ignite the oiled area.

    As a ninja leader of the Fuma clan, Kotaro has a mastery of magecraft in the form of ninjutsu and genjutsu. Assassin primarily employs fire ninjutsu, able to shoot out a breath of fire from his mouth at the cost of some prana. Other signature ninjutsu techniques Assassin typically uses includes going completely invisible, shapeshifting, and summoning clones of himself. His genjutsu are typically illusionary techniques that mentally interferes with other people. Some techniques requires hand seals while some do not.

    Being part-oni, Kotaro has a massive muscular build, standing at 7'1" tall and is described to have red long hair tied into five braids, almost appearing as whips themselves due to their length. He is able to shout over a distance of five kilometers. Kotaro can also be called a Crimson Red Vermillion who permanently keeps his oni side at the forefront so that he can use the demonic power within his body to its full potential; therefore, he never has to go through the stages of inversion impulse, and his strength is at the point where he has a permanently active Monstrous Strength skill despite not actually having the skill. Like other part-oni demons with red hair, Kotaro can extend his red braids to ensnare his target and plunder their lifeforce in the form of extracting their heat; the target would feel as if they are being burned by the braids themselves. Due to his ascendance into a servant nature, Kotaro's hair has the strength to ensnare other heroic spirits and immobilize them while draining them of their prana; he can use each of his five braids to restrain the target's four limbs and neck, and the hair grows back to their original length should they be cut.




    I came up with this through the combination of the historical Kotaro Fuma and the fact that in Japan in the Nasuverse, there were families that breed with oni demons. Kotaro could be a product of that trend in the Sengoku warring states. For personality, I looked to his Samurai Warriors counterpart, and thought that would fit well for him as both an oni demon and a true demon.
    Last edited by Clyton; June 15th, 2015 at 04:40 AM.

  11. #11071
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six
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    I personally can't, since I'm working on a Fuma profile myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyber Angel View Post
    but it's a positive first impression on a Heroic Spirit i usually root to fail, lol.
    But I root for him to fail, too!

    Jason would be the stand-in for Sigfried, being quickly dispatched early on by Archer of Red.
    He thinks he's really one of those immortal superheroes, but the reality of HGW is very different...


  12. #11072
    "I mustn't disobey, I mustn't disobey! The big bad wolf will eat me all up if I stray! Is that the lesson I learned that day? Perhaps the opposite, I must say. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, whether or not you obey. It's better to be the wolf... better to kill than to go away."
    - Berserker

    Name: Little Red Riding Hood
    Class: Berserker
    Gender: Female
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Master: TBD


    Personality:
    A distorted existence that lives its life freely. At first glance, Berserker strikes one as a seemingly normal little girl. She is cheerful and enthusiastic, often speaking in a singsong voice or deliberately rhyming for her own amusement. Berserker has quite the fondness for sweets, though she is also kind and considerate enough to always share them with those around her. She has an inordinate fondness for nature, and her preferred way of spending time is wandering through the park, frolicking and looking for flowers. She is quite curious and likes to ask questions about just about anything. While she is inquisitive and curious, she is rather polite as well, especially around adults, who she treats in a very respectful manner, whether they be Servant or Master. Berserker is rather fearless in the way naive little children are, yet, as a participant in the Holy Grail War, is clearly not naive at all.


    She does not trust people. Humans are people with values, they are too complex. They fear what is different and will turn on you for reasons with no basis in reality. They will honestly tell you that obedience is necessary for survival, and then when you obey them all you get is pain. They are the true wolves of the world, so it is ironic that they assign such allegations to a pure animal. Berserker prefers the company of animals. She dislikes deception and honesty equally, as both are hurtful, and if given the choice would like an animal for a Master. Humans and their complexities only invite pain. She can trust if shown someone valuable, but will view such as an 'outlier'. The girl who was created to be taught 'obedience' rejects such a thing as obedience to humanity. Being selfish is her chosen path, as trying to help others has only caused her worries. Conscientiousness isn't fun at all.

    Berserker is far removed from an innocent and pure existence. It would perhaps be best to refer to her as an innocent monster. Berserker is a twisted individual who sees nothing wrong in killing to get what you want. She who was made a 'sacrifice' merely to teach a lesson, she who was condemned by a certain set of morals and values and became a role that taught children to be obedient, she who became synonymous with the 'wolf' because of how people viewed her... finds there to be nothing wrong in hurting and killing. Her innocence is a role she plays out and longs for, but she is in truth quite cunning, always looking to gain an advantage. Her distortion ranges from mere mischief to a hunger for all that is around her. Because of her condemnation because of them, she holds not regard for rules. If she would gain something by it, she would defy even Ruler herself; she will not be obedient.


    Strength: E (B)
    Endurance: B (A+)
    Agility: E (B)
    Mana: D (B+)
    Luck: A


    Tactics:
    Berserker is a tactically inclined Servant with a variety of uses. Whereas most Berserkers are designed to be set loose and wreak havoc on the battlefield with their superior power, this one is best used surgically, due to her set of abilities. Her skills allow her to be an ideal information gatherer, and she is cunning enough to use this information to her advantage. She has a good eye for judging when and where to deploy her abilities, and in a sense acts as her own Master. She is not a frontline combatant and prefers to use tricky tactics.


    Class Skills:
    Madness Enhancement: E (B)
    A skill that trades away sanity and consciousness for an increase in ability. Berserker's rank is very low due to her madness being a fictional conceit, such that all it serves to do is eliminate her sensation of pain, and make her personality somewhat unhinged. It receives a Rank-Up with the use of her primary Noble Phantasm. At Rank B her sanity is all but stripped from her, though she can convey a number of words and feelings.


    Personal Skills:
    Innocent Monster: A
    History and existence distorted by reputations, perception, and legend, resulting in changes to conform to those views. Little Red Riding Hood has often been depicted as a werewolf in popular culture, and the increasing popularity of werewolves has made one associate the wolf in the fairy tale with them.Therefore, the idea "she was eaten by a werewolf" has led to the perception that she became one herself. In addition, the origin tale for Little Red Riding Hood features a basis in werewolves. This skill qualifies her for the Berserker class, enhances her other personal Skills, and grants her access to her primary Noble Phantasm. This skill cannot be altered or removed.


    Animal Dialogue: A
    Allows for communication with animals that lack language. Capable of conveying complex concepts, plans, and orders. The distortions of Innocent Monster, along with her own natural affinity for nature, allow her to essentially speak to any animal. Because of her kindness towards animals, coupled with her status as an alpha predator, she can make local wildlife in to her own spy network, who readily spy for the individual that likes them even more than humans. The animals lack the magical senses of a familiar, but conversely, their surveillance is undetectable by Masters and Servants alike. They are capable of conveying what they have observed back to Berserker.


    Eye of the Mind (False): C (A)
    A natural talent akin to a sixth sense. It is the result of the bestial instincts granted to Berserker by Innocent Monster, in addition to her natural penchant for path-finding, observation, and discerning an opponent's nature. It allows Berserker to accurately analyze battle conditions, and to recognize the danger of an opponent, in addition to allowing the potential for escape from lethal conditions. When Berserker uses her primary Noble Phantasm, this skill receives a Rank-Up to A. It is not suppressed by Madness Enhancement due to being an instinct inherent to her. At Rank A, it grants her resistance to visual obstruction and keen instincts that easily allow her to discern the nature of her opponent and her opponent's attacks.


    Noble Phantasms:
    Name: The Night Comes: Run Away Little Girl
    Rank: B+
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Because of the distortions of Innocent Monster, based upon the inextricable association between Little Red Riding Hood and werewolves throughout time, it is natural that a Noble Phantasm would be crystallized from such beliefs. Like all folklore tales, the many variants of the tale of the red girl being swallowed by a wolf have something of a basis in myth. It has a basis in celestial legend, with the evening and its 'red robe' swallowed by the wolf of darkness, the Fenris of the Edda. Other interpretations have Little Red Riding Hood as symbolic of the moon, swallowed by the wolf of darkness, heralding an eclipse. The original tale was told at the height of the werewolf trials in Italy, where human superstition reached its peak. An association with werewolves is both the original basis and a common belief in the 21st century, as the result of popular fiction.


    Because of its basis, this Noble Phantasm can only be activated as the red evening draws to a close and night begins; in other words, it can only be used during the night. Upon its activation, Berserker's form shifts into a phantasmal existence with the name 'wolf'. As an embodiment of night and darkness itself, its form is somewhat akin to a shadow in appearance, and is also in accordance with the expectations of a fairytale's whimsy. Her Madness Enhancement receives a Rank-Up to B, stripping of her sanity and leaving her a beast whose purpose is 'consumption'. The true trump card of this Noble Phantasm is its shadowy existence. Darkness and the night cannot be hurt by 'weaponry', besides an axe. As such, 'weapons' will be unable to inflict damage upon her, only spells and energy-based Noble Phantasms. The opposite of Galvanism.


    Name: Tear Open the Beast: Axe of Salvation
    Rank: C
    Type: Anti-Unit
    In the first printed version of Little Red Riding Hood by Charles Perrault, Little Red Riding Hood falls prey to the wolf. However, in a later version by the Grimm brothers that has become the most prominent and famous version of the tale, Little Red Riding Hood is saved from the wolf's belly by a huntsman's axe. All tales following this have used this version of events, such that the axe has become a well known motif of the story of Little Red. Like many of the tales of the Grimm brothers, Little Red's father is absent from the proceedings. Many have theorized, and come to believe, that the huntsman is Little Red's father, doing his paternal duty. This belief is a strong one, due to the tale's audience and message of obedience. However, a lesser known belief is that both the huntsman and the wolf represent the father. Good impressions versus bad impressions.


    Because it was her salvation, because of the belief that it was her father's weapon, and that as his child, she would have access to it, the most prominent weapon in the story of Little Red Riding Hood has been inherited by Berserker, a crystallization of the events that saved her life. The axe itself is rather plain in appearance, scaled to Berserker's small size. It resembles a traditional huntsman's axe. It is a useful weapon with a natural bonus against animals and beasts, the domain of the huntsman. If Berserker makes contact with an opponent's torso using this weapon, and activates it by reciting its name, a Luck check will be performed. If is passed, the Noble Phantasm will do nothing, and Berserker may very well die. If, however, the Luck check is failed, the opponent's belly will be split open. Those with Endurance under C will surely be killed.


    Legend:
    The original basis of the tale of Little Red Riding Hood is unknown. It is known earliest from the 10th century, a tale told by French peasants. It also was known to be a prominent tale told among peasants in Italy in the 14th century, at the height of so-called 'werewolf' trials, where men were accused of being werewolves by the Catholic church, and where fear and suspicion of witchcraft was at an all time high. In these original versions, there was no red hood, though other elements would remain consistent. A girl would be visiting her grandmother, and the antagonist would be a wolf, who she usually unwittingly trusts or is led astray by. These earlier tales featured darker themes, including the girl cannibalizing her own grandmother mistakenly, and also implied promiscuity or other such sexual actions or fears in regards to the 'wolf'. Sometimes the girl survived via her own wit and agency, and sometimes she didn't.


    Later versions of the tale would somewhat sanitize it, removing any mentions of cannibalism or explicit sexual acts, though they still remained somewhat in existence as allegory. The most prominent and first printed version of the tale was published by Charles Perrault in a collection of tales about morals. It was this version that would add the distinctive red cap/hood of the girl, symbolism with a firm basis in folklore and celestial myth. In this version of the tale, the girl met her end at the wolf's hands due to straying from her parent's directions and trusting a 'wolf', meant to represent a sexual predator. It was a tale meant to instill obedience to parents in young girls, as well as a fear of strangers. A later version by the Grimm brothers would have the girl saved by a huntsman, adding further to the tale's purpose in speaking of the importance of paternal purpose. This version would become the most popular.


    The piece of data and origin that most closely corresponds to this tale is that of a certain girl who lived in a village in 10th century France. She often went to visit her grandmother in the woods, sometimes during the night. The girl was an odd one who preferred playing in the woods to interacting with her peers or working. She did so in defiance of her father's instructions, and in doing so, was at times sexually abused because of it. There were whispers that her grandmother was a witch, for why else would she have isolated herself in the woods? And because of this association, the girl was viewed with suspicion. Every little mischief, every bad thing that occurred... far from the distant grandmother, the girl became a scapegoat for such things. One day her grandmother died, and her corpse was picked at by wolves. The superstitions of villagers reached fever pitch, and the girl was accused of being the wolf that had done it.


    In the end, it was at her own father's axe, after a trial of witchcraft, that the innocent girl who had done nothing wrong, met her end. She would perhaps become the basis for a tale designed to teach children obedience to their parents. The little girl would become inextricably associated with wolves, with the coming of night. Centuries later, when the girl was known as Little Red Riding Hood, popular culture would depict her as a werewolf, a murderer, a twisted thing. Perhaps it is only natural that if the girl should be brought back to life, should bear the weight of such legends and beliefs, would be adversely affected, would be forced to become a werewolf when she was no such thing, would be forced to be a nameless person with only a description. Such a girl would cling to her innocence, but bear only scorn towards the world. The tale that was made to teach obedience would never obey such a broken and twisted existence.

    (this was a sheet I made a long time ago, my first sheet, and I thought I'd redo it having hopefully matured and gotten better in the interim)

  13. #11073
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    Berserker
    Name: Lucy Ashton
    Place of birth: Scotland
    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MAG: D
    LUCK: E
    NP: C

    Class Skill
    Mad Enhancement (C+):
    Raises basic parameters in exchange for the removal of sanity. All parameters except for Luck and Mana receive a rank up, but in exchange Berserker can no longer think or speak properly. Due to complications surrounding her legend, Berserker can only communicate by singing.

    Personal Skills:
    Musical Performance (B/X):
    The ability to use music to purge mental interference and restore sanity, akin to musical therapy. Berserker’s usage of this skill has been warped by Mad Enhancement and her singing destabilizes the mind of listeners rather than restoring it. The accuracy of projectiles is also reduced.

    Hallucination (A+): A delusional vision of that which is not there. Berserker in her madness envisioned the face of the man she loved, whose spurning of her drove her into insanity. These hallucinations are ‘infectious’, and close proximity to Berserker will cause a slow mental erosion. Skills and abilities that nullify mental interference will cancel out this effect.

    Noble Phantasm:
    Il Dolce Suono: The Bloodstained Bridal Dress (Anti-Unit/Anti-Self, C):
    The bloodied and torn gown that Lucy wore as she murdered her husband on their wedding night. Still covered in his blood, despite its ghastly appearance, it will draw others towards her, through fear or morbid curiosity. Once someone is fully ensnared by the dress’s enchantment, they will be bound in marriage to Lucy and then killed by her. The spell forces both Lucy and the target to re-enact first the wedding ceremony, then the murder in the bridal chamber. In Lucy’s madness she re-enacts the murder of her hated husband over and over again.




    Lore

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucia_di_Lammermoor

    Berserker is Lucy Ashton, aka Lucia di Lammermoor, a Scottish noblewoman who fell in love with the head of a rival family. Forced into marrying another, her love found out and denounced her, driving her into insanity, causing her to murder her new husband on their wedding night. She died shortly after, dreaming that she was living happily with her beloved.


    Notes
    Blarg, I couldn't think of anything much for this one. I wanted to do a tragicy opera heroine type of thing. Also to be honest I just like the imagery of a wedding dress stained with blood and wanted to do a Servant who wears one. Also a kind of more obscure Servant.

    Could I have feedback? I know my profiles aren't the best, and I want to try and improve them.
    Last edited by asterism42; April 26th, 2015 at 08:31 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  14. #11074
    Class: Archer
    True Name: Hou Yi
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Natural Enemy: Monsters, Divinities, Enemies with certain kinds of supernatural defenses

    STR : B
    MGI : C
    END : B
    LCK : D
    AGI : A
    NP: A

    Class and Personal Skills:___________________________________________ ________________________


    Independent Action: A

    Can remain in this world for a week even after losing his Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great prana consumption, back up from the Master is necessary.

    Clairvoyance : B
    In addition to tracking fast moving objects at great distances, he is also able to pierce Supernatural Illusions of rank C or lower. Demonstrated against the Count of the Winds and a River God hiding beneath an overflowing river.

    Architect : B
    Archer is a skilled architect who can design and with assistance, create wondrous buildings. Treat as Territory Creation for mundane purposes and applications, rather than magecraft-related activities. In addition, at this level he can determine the overall 'structure' of a building with a glance, instantly understanding its foundations and layout.

    Divinity : B
    Archer was said to be a god who was banished from heaven after making enemies out of several gods. His immortality was stripped away, but his godlike abilities were (more or less) retained.

    Wind Walk : C
    Allows Archer to hover and fly by entreating the wind currents. The actual flight and hover time is short-lived, making it more of a temporary platform or a supernaturally-augmented jump using unnaturally dense air. As a side effect, Archer will not take damage from falling great distances.

    Marquis Pacifier of the Country : B (A+ in China)
    Granted this title by the Emperor Yao, it becomes his duty, as his legend, to eradicate gods and monsters alike terrorizing the country. It grants him a rank-up bonus to damage when using his arrows against monstrous or divine figures that have materialized on earth. The bonus is proportional to their divinity rank or any relevant skill possessed by 'monster' type servants.

    This title holds greater weight if the Grail War occurs in China, being that it is his jurisdictional area. In that case, his arrows will always cause critical hits against the aforementioned targets.

    This skill, however, penalizes him when fighting against servants of a mortal origin and mundane living beings. The penalty is more of a personality thing, though - as he will not use his full strength against mortals. This led to him being killed with deceit from a mortal student jealous of his skills.


    Noble Phantasms:________________________________________ _________________________________

    Three-Legged Crows on a Mulberry Tree : Shooting 9 Suns
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit

    Range: Can reach across the Solar System

    The legendary arrows fired by Archer, specialized Noble Phantasms designed to kill even the gods resting on their heavenly palaces. He possesses only 9 of these arrows when summoned for the Grail War, making this a limited resource.

    Upon activation of this Noble Phantasm, his bowstring glows a bright crimson, which signals that he is about to fire one of the 9 arrows. The arrows themselves look almost like crystalline crimson rods with fins and a conical sharpened tip when held in the bow. When loosed from the bow, it becomes a single, long, crimson beam of light connecting the bow to the target, as if it were a laser. The 'flight' of the arrow is instantaneous, and the 'light' that onlookers see is the crimson trail it left behind.

    The first ability of each arrow fired is its nigh unlimited range - he can fire at any target he sees within the grail war area from anywhere in the grail war area, and the arrows can surely reach them. Their range reaches that far because they were designed to shoot at the suns in the sky. However, the arrows fly in a straight line, and are subject to obstructions in their path. He must have unobstructed line of sight to ensure a good shot.

    The second ability of these arrows is that when fired, they will surely hit within one turn, regardless of range. He was able to instantly shoot down the suns from the sky, without giving the crows time to react. It completely bypasses the laws of physics regarding speed and travel time.

    The third ability of these arrows is that they bypass supernatural defenses that attempt to deflect or destroy projectiles. Such protections must be possessed by the target or be currently in effect on the target. This could include such defenses as magical shields, abnormal gusts of wind, divine armor, bounded fields, or supernaturally tough skin. The extreme heat and gravity distortions of the suns could not sway or destroy the arrows that pierced their core, killing them.

    The downside is that these arrows can be dodged and they can miss. Rather than rolling END or using Noble Phantasms of the aforementioned types, opponents can roll an AGI or LCK saving throw to dodge the arrows.

    The arrows can also be obstructed by mundane things such as rocks, trees and walls, probably reflecting Archer's own preference for the mortal world. This was demonstrated when his treacherous student Feng Meng hid behind a tree after receiving a counter-volley of his teacher's arrows.




    __________________________________________________ _____________________________________
    I noticed there was a lack of Hou Yi as well, which is a shame cause he's pretty popular.
    Last edited by Paorou; April 29th, 2015 at 08:23 PM.

  15. #11075
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    Rider
    Name: Mansa Musa Keita I of Mali
    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MAG: B
    LUCK: A
    NP: EX

    Class Skills
    Riding (A)
    : The ability to ride animals and vehicles. At this rank all creatures save for Phantasmal and Divine beasts can be used as mounts. Rider’s preferred mount is a camel that serves as part of his Noble Phantasm.

    Magic Resistance (C+): An ability that protects against magical skills and effects. At this rank spells with a chant below two verses are nullified. Rider’s rank is increased due to the charms that he wears.

    Personal Skills
    Golden Rule (A+)
    : The ability to attract wealth to oneself. At this rank money no longer becomes a problem. The amount of gold and jewels that Rider possessed was legendary; his extravagance was such that with his profligate spending he managed to both cause and end an economic crisis in the Mediterranean almost entirely by himself, the only time in recorded history only one man has done so.

    Charisma (B): The natural talent to command an army. At this rank, it is suitable for the king of a country. Rider was a skilled military leader; the Malian Empire reached its zenith under his rule.

    Imperial Privilege (C): A skill where, by the insistence of the owner, skills not normally able to be possessed can briefly be acquired. Rider doesn’t usually feel the need to make use of this, as in his eyes he has all the skills he already needs.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Hajj Procession: The Pilgrimage of Gold (Anti-Army, A): The famous pilgrimage of Mansa Musa to Mecca. His procession was reported to have included 60,000 men, 12,000 slaves who each carried four pounds of gold bars, and heralds dressed in silks who bore gold staffs, organized horses and handled bags. Musa provided all necessities for the procession, feeding the entire company of men and animals. Also in the train were 80 camels, which varying reports claim carried between 50 and 300 pounds of gold dust each. He gave away the gold to the poor he met along his route. Musa not only gave to the cities he passed on the way to Mecca, including Cairo and Medina, but also traded gold for souvenirs. Such is his wealth that he uses it as a weapon, pelting his opponents with a rain of gold. The damage and scale of this Noble Phantasm naturally depends on the amount of gold that Rider possesses, as such it combines well with Golden Rule.

    Timbuktu: The Eternally Distant City (Anti-City, EX): The shining jewel of the Malian Empire, a centre of culture, learning and religion, the quasi-mythical desert city of Timbuktu is Rider strongest Noble Phantasm. Bolstered by myths of its wealth, splendour and mystery, it is a pseudo-Reality Marble that represents the idea of the city rather than the city itself. Gold and ivory pave the streets, as beautiful minarets reach towards the sky. Amongst the city’s treasures include an army of horsemen defending the king’s palace, and a vast library containing all sorts of information. Because of the city’s reputation of being mysterious and distant, merely reaching Rider’s manifestation is in itself a challenge, once in the challenge becomes greater, fighting through Rider’s army and finally the king himself in the centre of his palace, as his parameters are all raised by one rank in the city. Needless to say, the prana cost for maintaining this wonder is unfathomably high.


    Because we need more African Servants. That thing about the economy is true, by the way. I'm not exaggerating.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  16. #11076
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six
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    @Paorou: this Lam-Ang sounds interesting, too bad I can base it with what little wikipedia has to offer. The only critique would be that the rank of Familiars is too high. They seem strong familiars but nothign "game-breaking".

    Regarding Hou Yi, blame it on him to be rather known, and the fact that he's sometimes a god, ineligible for summoning, plus he shoots down suns. He would need some Nasunian retelling to fit into a HGW :P

    @lyracharles77: eh! That was interesting and original!

    @asterism42: regarding Lucia, I don't have much to say, other than I liked it.

    An anti-Gilgamesh appear!

    Such is his wealth that he uses it as a weapon, pelting his opponents with a rain of gold
    That's fighting with style.


  17. #11077
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    I was kinda worried my Lucy was too samey as the Lorelei one I did a while back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  18. #11078
    Well medusa was an earth goddess who lost her divinity. Hou yi had his god status revoked and was killed by his jealous student (a mortal), so it works.

    As for lam ang's familiars, i dunno what rank 'may revive owner using his remains and a ritual aftr he dies' would be.

  19. #11079
    リビングデッド Living Dead I Am The Table's Avatar
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    First time posting here, so I'll take any criticisms you have!

    Class:
    Archer
    Name: Raven
    Alignment: Neutral Good


    STR: D
    END: A
    AGI: B
    MGI: A
    LCK: C+

    Class Skills
    Independent Action: A
    Can remain in this world for a week even after losing his Master. However, in order to use Noble Phantasms of great prana consumption, back up from the Master is necessary.
    Magic Resistance: A
    Cancel spells of A-Rank or below. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a “Magus Killer.”

    Personal Skills
    Shape shifter: C
    Archer is capable of transforming between a human form, either a grown adult, or a young boy, and a gigantic raven. Also capable of transforming into a pine tree, but this transformation is mostly useless in combat, unless used for spying on opponents.
    Battle Continuation: A
    Makes it possible to fight even with deadly injuries and can remain alive so long as he does not receive a fatal wound.




    Noble Phantasms
    Flames of the Sun: B
    Having held the shining sun within his mouth, Archer is capable of imbuing his bows with the power of fire. The flames will never go out, and will explode on contact with whatever it hits. When used in his bird form, Archer is capable of breathing streams of fire from his beak, though the heat will cause Archer pain if used too often.

    Ice of the Moon: C
    Having held the cold and distant moon within his mouth, Archer is capable of imbuing his bows with the power of ice. The freezing arrows will never melt, and when it lands, it will freeze a small area surrounding where it made its mark. It is capable of freezing opponents in place, though being regular ice it can be easily broken. When used in his bird form, his breath will freeze the air around him, causing damage to his opponents, and even capable of killing if the opponent is exposed to the cold for long enough. However, Archer is still affected by the cold, and it can cause damage to him as well.

    The Brand of Fire: EX
    This Noble Phantasm can only be used in Archer’s bird form. The Brand of Fire is the brand he stole from the house of The Gray Eagle. Smoke will begin to come forth from his beak, and engulf Archer in fire. Archer will then launch himself with great speed towards his opponent, releasing a massive amount of magical energy on impact. This Noble Phantasm will almost certainly kill any opponent if it makes direct contact, but will also deal severe damage to Archer. It also costs a large amount of prana, and in most cases will kill either Archer or his Master if they are not a skilled mage. It takes a mage with very large amounts of mana to allow Archer to survive this attack, making it unwieldy in battle.

    Story:
    The Raven is a spirit who appears in many stories in Native American mythology. Raven lived as an animal spirit in the land of spirits. Raven was the third child of a woman whose previous two boys were killed by her uncle. Raven was a skilled wood carver and magician, and was able to survive her uncle's attempts on his life with tricks of his own. However, his tricks eventually ended with the death of the uncle's wife, causing Raven to understand the true worth of life. He left home to go on a journey, never seeing his family again.

    During his travels, he met a chief known as Gray Eagle. Gray Eagle had a daughter who loved the Raven and his white feathers, and Raven loved her back. But at the same time, he loved humanity, more so than he loved himself. Gray Eagle on the other hand, disliked humans, and kept the sun, moon, and stars, leaving humans to live in darkness without fire or water. Though Raven loved Gray Eagle’s daughter, when she brought him to her father’s longhouse, he knew what he had to do.

    He seized the sun, stars and moon, and fresh water, as well as the Brand of Fire, and left the spirit world. First he brought the sun into the sky, and then placed the moon and stars. Under their light, he gave the humans fresh water. Gray Eagle had noticed what Raven had stolen from him, and in his rage, shot arrows at Raven, causing him to drop the Brand of Fire to the earth, and sent him crashing to the ground.

    Raven’s once beautiful feathers were charred black by the Brand of Fire, and though he could fly, he could never again reach his love. He spent his days helping humanity and playing tricks, all the while hoping to one day be reunited with his love.

    Raven is fiercely loyal to his Master, and will put their safety above even his own. However, his love of humans makes it hard for him to land a killing blow on enemy Masters, and can even turn against his Master is he deems them morally reprehensible.




    I wanted to make a hero for Native American mythology, since there aren't so many on here. The part about being grounded on earth is something I made up to help give Archer a reason to want the Grail. I feel like I may have given him too high a rank in some places, and I also didn't know if a magical animal or spirit would count towards divinity or not. Any suggestions?

    Edit: changed some backstory, in retrospect I like how he turned out. Like an Archer whose attack is based in magic rather than physical strength. As such, I turned his STR down a little bit, to emphasize the magical damage. His luck I almost put at B, but his accidentally killing his great-uncle's wife made me put it down a little.
    Last edited by I Am The Table; May 1st, 2015 at 04:21 AM.

  20. #11080
    6ix - The Void Clyton's Avatar
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    Class: Rider
    True Name: Minos, King of Crete, the King of Laws

    Spoiler:


    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Source: Classical Mythology and History


    STR: C MGI: A
    END: B LCK: B
    AGI: B NP: A++

    Class Skills:

    Riding: A+
    Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beasts and Divine Beasts can be used as mounts. However, this does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

    Magic Resistance: A
    Cancel spells of A-Rank or below. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a "Magus Killer". Rider's current rank is the result of the high potency of his divine blood in both quality and quantity.

    Personal Skills:

    Divinity: A+
    The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster or Demonic Beast raises. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig. Rider's Divinity value is the result of his status as a 3/4 demigod.

    Governor of Divine Laws: A+
    Minos gave the Cretans their first code of laws, the laws of which he got straight from Zeus himself. At the end of his life, he was appointed as a Judge of the Underworld in the afterlife. He had the power to establish order and maintain an environment of peace should the people in the environment follow his given demands like how when he did that on the conquered Athenians. As a Governor, Rider justly punishes those who were unlawful in any way or form according to the Greek Gods' code of laws, such as acts of treachery and murder. Should Rider go against those code of laws or his duties as a Governor in the presence of those who deserved to be punished, he receives a rank down in all his parameters until he corrects his negligence or mistake. Should the unlawful targets refuse Rider's demands and suggested lawful punishments, they receive a rank down in all their parameters until they give in to the demands or punishments. This is instead two rank downs for those of the Lawful alignment. The only exception to Rider's requested demands being enforced is that they must be fair and adhere to the Greek Gods' code of laws.

    Charisma: B
    The natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rank of B in this skill is sufficient to lead a nation as its King; in the case of Rider, he is the first man to establish himself as the true King of the Cretan civilization and rule over it.

    Noble Phantasms:

    Minotaur: The Bull of Minos
    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-Team

    This Noble Phantasm is the summoning of Minos' son, Asterion II, otherwise widely known around the world as the Minotaur. Rider possesses this Noble Phantasm due to his ties to the Minotaur, being able to summon the half-man, half-bull creature out from his Labyrinth domain. The Minotaur is summoned in his berserk state, being on the level of a high-class Berserker servant. It possesses a Divinity rank of E- and the Monstrous Strength personal skill with a rank of A. While the Minotaur was born from a divine bull and a half-demigod that would've given the creature a Divinity ranking of A+, his dislike of the gods for the nature of his birth and the fate of his life as well as him having a high Monster rank due to his half-bull nature drops the ranking down to E-. The Minotaur has the following parameters:

    STR: A+ MGI: A
    END: A+ LCK: E
    AGI: B NP: -

    The Minotaur has relations to the Sun thanks to his birth heritage going back to Apollo, God of the light and sun, and is therefore highly resistant to fire, light and solar-related attacks. He can also see clearly through his eyes no matter how bright the light in the environment is. Rider typically summons the Minotaur to fight his opponents with the creature's brute strength, letting his son do the dirty work. The Minotaur's existence is maintained by Rider's prana supply, and should Rider die or lacks the prana necessary, the Minotaur is forced to cease his existence in the real world. Rider is also forced to use additional prana to keep the Minotaur under control, as if he doesn't, the latter will turn against him due to his dislike of Minos as well.

    Minoan Thalassocracy: Empire of the Mediterranean Sea
    Rank: A++
    Type: Anti-Country, Anti-World

    This Noble Phantasm is the recreation of the Cretan Empire of the Sea in the form of a massive fleet of various Minoan ships, meant for conquering entire countries rather than just mere enemy armies. Known as the most ancient man in the world to build the first navy, Rider is able to summon his super-powerful Minoan naval force on any body of water, provided it is large enough to fit the entire fleet. While in reality the navy had only conquered the Aegean Sea, the ancient Greeks back then thought that Minos' navy had conquered the whole world for the Aegean Sea to them was the entire world in their limited perspective. Because of this, Rider's navy is much more powerful than its real life accomplishments and capabilities due to this overachieving and distorted fame, being able to conquer and raze other nations within a day and eventually the entire world with ease. The ships summoned are magical in nature and are of an improved design compared to the time in Rider's first life, able to unleash destructive magical attacks based on the Greek magics as well as physical attacks such as ballista arrows without the need of anyone manning the ship. Rider is able to control the actions of all the ships within the fleet while he is commanding the Minoan Admiral Ship.

    The Palace of Knossos: Majestic Throne of the Gryphon (The Labyrinth: Escapeless Dungeon Maze)
    Rank: EX
    Type: Anti-Team

    This Noble Phantasm is Rider's reality marble of his own palace he once lived in during his first life, the Palace of Knossos. The reality marble represents the will of Minos’ undying kingship, arguably more valuable than his character as a judge. Those transported into the reality marble would end up in the throne room of the palace. The palace was the origin of the Gryphon, and within the throne room lies the original Gryphon in all its majestic power, being commanded to protect Rider, the ‘treasure’ within the room. It is a creature capable of matching multiple servants. Aside from its immense physical strength, high intelligence, its ability to fly, and the capability to unleash heavy gusts of wind comparable to the strength of a hurricane, the Gryphon is able to restore an eyesight of a blind living being by brushing its feathers over the being's eyes, including the Gryphon's own eyes should it be blinded. The Gryphon's body possesses immense healing properties, able to heal from any wound as long as it is not fatal or severe. The Gryphon can also unleash a commanding roar that is capable of controlling all other creatures, making it an excellent counter to other Rider servants who rely on creatures, especially those of a Noble Phantasm level, as those creatures would turn on their own owners. Dragon Kind are able to resist the roar to some extent, although they are not completely immune to its effects.

    Within the palace also lies the Labyrinth underneath the throne room. There are trap doors in the throne room that can send unsuspecting foes falling into the Labyrinth. The Labyrinth houses the Minotaur at the center of the maze; therefore, Rider does not need to activate his other Noble Phantasm to summon the Minotaur as it is already present in the reality marble. Both the Gryphon and the Minotaur cannot leave their respective domains of the palace and the Labyrinth, and there is an invisible boundary that is part of the Labyrinth's bounded field located on the level of the throne room's floor, preventing the Gryphon from entering the Labyrinth and vice versa for the Minotaur into the palace, even should the floor or ceiling break to reveal the Labyrinth underneath or the palace above respectively.

    The reality marble naturally starts to disperse when either the Gryphon or Rider dies, or when Rider's opponents escape the Labyrinth should they fall into it. However, escaping the maze construct is extremely difficult as it is a bounded field located within the reality marble that has only one exit point in its boundary, and this exit point moves around the boundary field through Rider's will. It would take a lot of luck to traverse through a maze passage that happens to be the exit point; however, once the exit point is found, it is permanently fixated there, and not even Rider can move the exit point to another location. Rider can also summon the Gryphon out into the real world and forgo the reality marble, but it would take the prana cost of sustaining an A++ rank Anti-Team Noble Phantasm to summon and maintain the Gryphon. The Gryphon is Rider's primary mount in any scenario he encounters. The Minotaur and the Gryphon naturally cannot co-exist should both be summoned outside of the reality marble, and when they encounter each other, a brawl would break out between the two of them, a situation of which even Rider finds difficulty to control.

    Should the opponents somehow escape the palace instead, they would see the full scope of the reality marble’s landscape. It would depict the island of Crete surrounded by an eternal sea and an everlasting blue sky. On the shores of the island lies Minos’ navy, ready to intercept any foe who dare escape the palace and the island; Rider can control them by staying within his throne room rather than manning the Minoan Admiral Ship. They cannot run anywhere as the reality marble’s landscape is endless. The EX rank of this Noble Phantasm is given due to it containing multiple high-class Noble Phantasms within its effect, numbering up to four.

    Equipment and Other Abilities:

    Minos, as the King of Laws, has a Type advantage against those of the Lawful alignment. He wields the Majestic Gryphon Armor, which gives him another Type advantage inherent to the armor against all other creatures as the Gryphon was known as the King of Creatures. As long as he wears the armor, Rider is protected against all form of techniques, abilities and spells related to any creature and monster, such as poisoning and petrification. Rider is also granted some of the powers a Gryphon possesses, such as being able to heal at a naturally faster rate, command other creatures through hand gestures as long as they are not Noble Phantasms, restore blindness to other living beings, including himself, and being able to fly with the wings of the armor. The armor can resist both A-rank physical attacks and A-rank magical attacks, which when in combination with his Magic Resistance with the latter grants Rider an effective A+ Magic Resistance. He wields a European longsword in combat and is skilled in Magecraft, able to employ scrying techniques and Greek magics.
    He also has some affinity to snakes thanks to his wife Pasiphae cursing him to ejaculate snakes, and is therefore able to convert his blood into a variety of small snakes; typically, he employs the snakes in combat by flinging his wounded area so the the blood droplets can fly out and transform into snakes heading straight for his foes.
    Last edited by Clyton; June 4th, 2015 at 06:29 AM.

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