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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #15161
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    >Arachne Servant sheet
    >the version of the story where Athena is just as bad as her family
    lycocries.jpg
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  2. #15162
    The showtime RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycodrake View Post
    >Arachne Servant sheet
    >the version of the story where Athena is just as bad as her family
    lycocries.jpg
    Well, since I wanted to portray Arachne as sympathetic, I naturally went with the version where Athena came off as badly as possible. Not quite fair but eh, what's she gonna do, smite me?

    *Is summarily struck down by bolt of divine lightning.*

    ...Well, that's what you get for tempting the gods, I guess.

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    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    I'm admittedly biased in favor of Athena, but also sympathetic to the Gorgon triplets and Arachne. As an amateur mythologist, Athena cursing them for no wise reason clashes with the very core of her aspect as a goddess of wisdom. Compared to the rest of her familial pantheon, she's nowhere close to being terrible, so there is a possibility that the two instances were added later to "bring her down to their level".

    Athena and Poseidon were not fans of each other, either, I might add as far as the Gorgon sisters go.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  4. #15164
    The showtime RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakuro View Post
    It is a sheet with a lot of work put on it, as expected from a Servant of fanfic. She reminds me a lot other female greek servants like Medea and Medusa, and I can totally see her being a mid-season villain that will give work to the other Servants. And I guess Independent Action as Personal Skills that she will lose her Master? (inb4 she will kill her master). But anyway, I liked her, it was a good job for a heroic spirit that there is not much about.
    'Mid-season villain' is exactly how I'd envisioned her role in the story, alongside a few other characters. Funnily enough, my original idea for Caster was someone else entirely (Pied Piper of Hamelin) but upon reading Arachne's lore in Percy Jackson And The Greek Gods I was immediately struck with inspiration to do her as a Servant. You're right in she's pretty much a combination of Medea and Medusa, personality-wise. Some of my first Servants were definitely based off the ones from Stay Night. For instance, the last one that I've yet to post here is basically a Hebraic, religious version of Gilgamesh, in terms of NPs and attitude.

    I actually have a pretty in-depth idea of the role she'd play in my fanfic but I won't go into that to salvage whatever surprises are left on the off chance I ever write the fic.

  5. #15165
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KAIZA View Post
    http://pastebin.com/Yecm9tEF
    Phew...this took a while. ^^;
    Compiled all the recent Servants since the last update.

    I think I didn't make any mistakes there, and I didn't miss anybody? If I did, be sure to let me know.
    Damn, thanks KAIZA!

  6. #15166
    The showtime RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Saber:

    True Name: Theseus

    Alignment
    : Chaotic Good (...mostly)

    Alternate Classes: Lancer, Rider, Berserker

    Strength- B+
    Agility- B
    Endurance- B
    Mana- C
    Luck- B
    NP- B+

    Equipment: His sword 'Spathí Athínas'. An enormous club taken from the giant Periphetes, solid oak wrapped in twenty sheets of bronze. A pair of very well-made sandals which can infuse Saber's steps with magical energy, amplifying his speed in a manner similar to Mana Burst at a low rank.

    Appearance:

    (Yes, that's a guy...)

    Personality: Hyperactive, stubborn and impulsive. Saber has a childish demeanour and simply does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, wherever he wants. Since his heart is basically noble, he will often perform acts of heroism, though his lack of regard for consequences can certainly pose a problem. He views life-and-death adventures as 'having fun' and in battle will constantly taunt and belittle his opponents to goad them into attacking.

    Saber's inexhaustible smile and careless demeanor mask a profound sense of regret for the actions of his mortal life. He feels his greatest folly was abandoning his lover Ariadne, an act which began his downfall. His wish on the Holy Grail is simply to go back in time and undo his past self's one foolish mistake.

    Likes: retributive justice, adventuring
    Dislikes: boredom, forgetting important things
    Talent: bandit extermination
    Natural Enemy: King Minos, Medea, himself


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance (C+)- Cancels spells with an incantation below two verses. Cannot cope with the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Though born at the height of the Age Of Gods, Saber fought against magic rarely in life so his rank is low. Due to a certain Noble Phantasm, he has full immunity to any spells targeting one's sense of direction.

    Riding (A)- Ability to ride animals. At this rank, one can ride any mortal mount at a high degree of skill but not Phantasmal or Divine Beasts. This high is enough to have aptitude for the Rider Class.


    Personal Skills:

    Eye Of The Mind (False) (B)- Resistance to changes of visibility caused by visual interferences. Also called the sixth sense, or prescience; an innate talent to sense danger. Despite his hyperactive attitude, Saber is a genius at sizing up his opponents and determining the optimal point to strike for greatest results.

    Divinity (C)- Measures one's Divine Spirit aptitude. Saber was said to be a son of Poseidon and the mortal woman Aethra. However, in some versions of the legend he is instead son of the mortal king Aegeus. As such, his rank has been diluted due to his true divine heritage being unknown and contested.

    Evaporation Of Sanity (D)- May carelessly declare team weaknesses and True Names, forget important information and generally displays the attention-span of a gerbil. This Skill also serves as 'Instinct'. In battle one may, to some extent, feel the optimal course of action. In conjuction with his Eye Of The Mind (False) Skill, limited future-sight becomes possible.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Spathí Athínas- All Under Athens (B+, Anti-Unit): A sword originally belonging to Saber's father Aegius. It was buried under a boulder along with a pair of sandals for Saber to retrieve later on, to prove that he was the king's promised son. Later on, Saber arrived, lifted the boulder and claimed the sword for himself. Crafted of enchanted bronze, it is a powerful blade bearing the symbol of Athens (an owl and an olive branch) upon its flat, as well as Aegius's own initials engraved upon the hilt.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it is subsumed under his role as the unifying king of Athens. Any target whose blood is drawn by this blade is thereby considered to be under rightful dominion of the Athenian Republic, symbolized by a glowing green owl and olive branch insignia materializing over the struck portion of their body.

    Since Saber is the king of Athens and the target is 'one under dominion of Athens' the two concepts combine into a gestalt Noble Phantasm that enables Saber to give a single order to the one cut by this blade with an absolute authority. The power of this order is equal to a Command Seal though, unlike it, it cannot force the target to do anything outside their normal physical capabilities.

    Upon giving an order, the mark fades immediately from the target's body and Saber cannot invoke this Noble Phantasm again on the same opponent for the remainder of the War, even if he should manage to cut them again with it. Use of the order can be delayed however, to hours or days after the initial cut. Theoretically, this can be used to create 'time-bombs' or 'Manchurian agents' that can be 'set off' whenever Saber deems expedient. In practice however, his generally thoughtless and impulsive nature means he is unlikely to use this Noble Phantasm to its fullest extent.

    Magic Resistance
    , Nature Of A Rebellious Spirit, Independent Action and Skills that resist mental interference of B or higher are enough to fully bypass this effect.


    Ariadne- Lover's Guidance (C, Support): The ball of thread given to Saber by the Cretan princess Ariadne to guide him through the Labryrinth of her father, Minos. By unravelling the thread as he went, Saber would always be able to discern his path and find his way out of the Labryrinth through retracing his steps taken.

    It takes form as a luminous ball of thread that Saber can summon, hovering a short distance off the ground. Once manifested, it can unfurl at Saber's will, magically snaking through the air to show him the path towards whatever he seeks. A person. A place. Even something abstract like 'freedom' or 'an answer'. So long as it can be conceptualized as 'a destination' this Noble Phantasm will guide Saber down the correct path without fail. However, it can only be invoked so long as Saber himself has a clear idea in mind as to his destination. It can show him where to go to achieve an objective, but not what objectives are worth seeking.

    This Noble Phantasm has a very low Mana cost, equivalent to a low-ranking familiar. Additionally, simply having it in his possession grants Saber immunity to any form of magic, poison or other effect that interferes with one's sense of direction.


    Dikaiosýnis Thiséa- Hero's Turnabout (E~A++, Anti-Unit): During his adventures, Saber developed a certain philosophy. He would only attack if he were attacked first. And whenever possible he would try to defeat his foes by the very method they sought to defeat him. This held true for nearly all of Saber's victories. The giant Periphetes, who killed travellers by pounding them into the ground with his immense club, was killed when Saber took the club and gave him a mighty smack. Sinis, who amused himself by tying people to trees and catapaulting them off, met his end when Saber broke free, tied him to two trees and let nature take its course. And so on.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it incarnates the concept of 'retributive retaliation'. Upon being hit by an attack, Saber may invoke this Noble Phantasm to endow his next attack with the same power as that which struck him. This counter is insured to do the same amount of damage and any special attributes the original attack had (such as elemental affinity, poison, Entropy curse, etc) will be reflected upon the attacker as well.

    Obviously a double-edged sword since it depends on Saber receiving an attack and taking damage in order to work. Also, the Mana cost of Saber's counter will be identical to that of the original attack. In the case of attacks that expend a great amount of magical energy, Saber may find himself drained dry simply from the cost of replicating the attack. The expense of returning attacks classified as Anti-Fortress or higher are very likely to kill Saber from the backlash.

    It is based on Saber's personal philosophy rather then a particular weapon or feat. As such, he can utilize its power through any of his weapons or even his bare body alone.


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Decided to do Theseus as Saber rather then Rider. It ended up being that I liked the idea for his sword way better then anything I could come up regarding his ship, and I already feel I've done too many Riders compared to other Classes so... Saber he is. This is not the last Servant from my theoretical Fate fanfic. That guy's another Rider (*sigh*) and probably going to be posted up sometime later today or tomorrow, when I feel like it (want to space out my entries here at least a little). For this sheet, I have to give major thanks to the Percy Jackson's The Greek Heroes book, which heavily influenced my take on Theseus. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms!

  7. #15167
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Considering he's the one who killed Asterios with his bare hands, he needs the Beast Killer skill. Preferably at B or A rank.

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    The showtime RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Considering he's the one who killed Asterios with his bare hands, he needs the Beast Killer skill. Preferably at B or A rank.
    I wouldn't say he really 'needs' it, since even Cu Chulainn didn't have it in Fate (only his alternate self from Prototype). It'd still be a fitting Skill for him, though. I'll consider adding it.

  9. #15169
    Mission Accomplished KAIZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Damn, thanks KAIZA!
    No prob.
    Though, I do wonder when the index will be updated...or who I have to let know to get it updated. ^^;
    I should also update that list with Royd's Theseus.

    EDIT: http://pastebin.com/T04X2yvi
    Like so! Now up to date. This thread can move fast sometimes.

  10. #15170
    The showtime RoydGolden's Avatar
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    By the way, what does everybody think of Theseus? Hermes's advice was good, but I'd prefer some more general feedback on the sheet overall, rather then just one specific detail.

  11. #15171
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Arha's Avatar
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    First impression is that he's an Astolfo clone. Kind of boring.

  12. #15172
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I wouldn't say he really 'needs' it, since even Cu Chulainn didn't have it in Fate (only his alternate self from Prototype).
    As a gameplay element, if I'm not mistaken, not necessarily as a "proper" addition to his sheet.

  13. #15173
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    As a gameplay element, if I'm not mistaken, not necessarily as a "proper" addition to his sheet.
    Regardless, the big floofball has endurance at A++ who matched Herc in the Oceanus event so even if it was only invented for the game itself, it can still be used. That and the feat is the most famous part of his legend.

  14. #15174
    Quote Originally Posted by KAIZA View Post
    EDIT: http://pastebin.com/T04X2yvi
    Like so! Now up to date. This thread can move fast sometimes.
    Full props to you, KAIZA! OP is updated, soon to be sorted by class per category (and more brackets).

  15. #15175
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    That and the feat is the most famous part of his legend.
    So was killing Fafner for Siegfried, but he doesn't have Dragon Killer (or anything similar) in "Apocrypha".

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    So was killing Fafner for Siegfried, but he doesn't have Dragon Killer (or anything similar) in "Apocrypha".
    Siegfried had the Armiur of Fafnir as a Noble Phantasm instead though, and considering Royd's Theseus already had three of those, I thought a skill would be more appropriate.

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    True Name:
    Gugalanna, Bull of Heaven
    Class: Berserker
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Attribute: Sky

    Strength: A++
    Endurance: EX
    Agility: B
    Mana: B
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: A+

    Class Skills:
    Mad Enhancement: E+++
    Although normally sane, battle causes Gugalanna's mind to progressively revert to a more bestial and violent nature, incresing the rank of this skill. Once combat is over, he will begin to recover his senses.

    Personal Skills:
    Affections of the Goddess: A
    Affection comes from his wife, Ereshkigal. All parameters receive a rank-up.

    Divinity:
    A
    Originally a Divine Beast that threatened all of Mesopotamia, Gugalanna was tamed by the goddess of the underworld, who fell in love with the monster. In order to both save the land and allow Ereshkigal to marry the creature, Gugalanna was made into a god by Anu.

    Monstrous Strength: EX
    While active, this skill temporarily returns Berserker's Strength to its natural rank, EX. However, it also causes his form to become more and more monstrous with time, and speeds up the rate at which Mad Enhancement increases.

    Noble Phantasms
    Insatiable Devourer
    Nothing in this Earth can Satisfy Me
    - Anti-City~Anti-Country, Rank A+
    A crystallization of Gugalanna's legendary hunger and thirst. While active, this Noble Phantasm continuously drains the prana from Berserker's surroundings. The mana in the air, the life force of plants and animals, the prana of magi and magical beings, and even water (which is converted to prana) are all constantly consumed by Berserker, and the longer it remains active, the faster it becomes. Once there is no more mana, water, or nearby living beings to be consumed, the Noble Phantasm will deactivate.

    Unlike what would be expected, Berserker is not empowered by the prana he absorbs; rather, it is used to mantain this Noble Phantasm active, and to progressively increase its range. The downsides to Insatiable Devourer are that it could threaten Gugalanna's Master is they remain close, and that a Command Spell is required to deactivate it before everything nearby is drained dry.

    Lore
    Spoiler:
    Gugalanna was the Bull of Heaven in ancient Mesopotamia, associated to the Taurus constellation. Once the mightiest of Divine Beasts, he threatened the world with his insatiable hunger. The gods of heaven tried and failed to tame him, but Eereshkigal, goddess of the underworld, succeeded at this task, perhaps due to her connection to the earth, and fell in love with the creature. The god Anu made the bull a deity in order to prevent the beast from returning to his feeding frenzy (divine food could sate his hunger) and to enable his daughter to marry Gugalanna, and employed him as his canal inspector.

    When king Gilgamesh refused the sexual invitation of Ereshkigal's sister Ishtar, the goddess demanded that Anu allowed her to unleash Gugalanna upon the earth as revenge. Initially Anu denied this request, knowing that the bull could end up destroying everything, but was forced to give his permission to stop Ishtar's screaming.
    In the Earth, Gugalanna took his monstrous form, and unleashed chaos upon Uruk, drinking all the water and eating all the grass and date palms of the city within a few minutes. Gilgamesh and Enkidu were warned by the king's musician, and went to battle against the beast. The bull easily outmatched the two in physical strength; but, unfortunately for Gugalanna, he was now a god. Using the Chain of Heaven, the First Hero and his companion subdued the deity and killed him; and to humiliate him and Ishtar, Enkidu threw Gugalanna's hind quarters at the goddess.

    Gugalanna is a jolly fellow, but is not very smart or wise. Unlike what would be expected, he greatly dislikes combat, and prefers to spend his time drinking and eating. His physical strength is his main weapon, being virtually unmatched among servants. Perhaps because of his animal nature, he does not want revenge against the heroes who killed him; his wish for the Grail is to be reunited with Ereshkigal.

  18. #15178
    The showtime RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Gugalanna: I like this guy a lot. So, his already very high (A++) Strength parameter can potentially achieve two ranks up (from Affections Of The Gods and Monstrous Strength). It certainly fits given his legend, but still... man. Insatiable Devourer NP is also pretty scary (reminds me of a more extreme version of the one I gave Lycurgus of Thrace). Overall, this is one Servant I would not want to face in battle! Given your avatar, I take it you have a fondness for 'giant rampaging beasts that secretly turn out to be big softies at heart'? The faceclaim chosen is also really nice and suits the sheet enormously well.

    I wonder, how'd this guy fair against my own Monster- Fenris?

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    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Gugalanna: I like this guy a lot. So, his already very high (A++) Strength parameter can potentially achieve two ranks up (from Affections Of The Gods and Monstrous Strength). It certainly fits given his legend, but still... man. Insatiable Devourer NP is also pretty scary (reminds me of a more extreme version of the one I gave Lycurgus of Thrace). Overall, this is one Servant I would not want to face in battle! Given your avatar, I take it you have a fondness for 'giant rampaging beasts that secretly turn out to be big softies at heart'? The faceclaim chosen is also really nice and suits the sheet enormously well.

    I wonder, how'd this guy fair against my own Monster- Fenris?
    Rampaging beasts that turn out to be big softies are great, yes. Specially if they're bulls.

    I guess normally Gugalanna would mess Fenris up; though if the chain breaks he'd lose. I guess I could've made Insatiable Hunger something much, much stronger, but chose against it... for some reason.

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    Servant Archer:

    True Name
    : Darius I

    Alignment: Lawful Neutral

    Alternate Classes: Lancer, Rider

    Strength- C
    Agility- B
    Endurance- C
    Mana- E
    Luck- C
    NP- B++

    Equipment: An ornate black and gold Persian longbow. Along the arc are detailed the accomplishments of his reign in intricate Cuneiform script. Archer also carries a simple, unadorned bronze spear by his side which he uses for close combat.

    Appearance: Very tall and of dark complexion, with piercing red eyes and straw blonde hair spiked up, a single slim forelock of which hangs down to one side of his face. Handsome in an intimidating sort of way, with a prominent jawline and angular features. Clad from neck to toes in a thick carapace of ornate gold and black colored armor that only adds to his imposing presence. A gold colored cape cascades off his shoulders.

    Personality: A proud king who has utter confidence in himself and what he has accomplished. He does not enjoy to boast about his achievements but rather radiates a cool, composed sense of confidence. In his mind, such things are to be shown through battle rather then mere words, which even the lowliest commoner can spout. A patriot loyal to Persia, devoted to his country even as he was forced to enact brutal suppressions in order to preserve his reign. Under his rule, Persia flourished in the arts, sciences, economy and many other aspects. Not for nothing is he considered to have been "the greatest of the Achaemenian kings."

    While appearing intensely calm and collected, Archer can explode into a seething fury should his opponents manage to gain an advantage over him. Upon this happening he will devote all his ample intelligence to defeating, punishing and humiliating the one to have bested him. Not one to forgive grudges easily, to say the least. His wish on the Grail is brutal in its simplicity. To inflict complete and utter destruction upon the city of Athens in revenge for the humiliating defeat he received at their hands in the battle of Marathon.

    Likes: Persia, being treated as a rightful monarch
    Dislikes: having to put down rebels, Athenians
    Talent: expanding his Empire
    Natural Enemy: Theseus, Gaumata


    Class Skills:

    Independant Action (B)- The ability to remain in existence without receiving Mana from one's Master. At B rank, he can remain in this world for two days without an established contract. Also capable of living on for a short period of time after suffering extensive damage to his spiritual core.

    Magic Resistance (D)- Negates Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance equivalent in degree to an amulet that rejects magical energy.


    Personal Skills:

    Charisma (B-)- Ability to inspire others, and lead armies. Darius was a renowned Persian emperor who centralized and unified his Empire as well as leading Economic reforms. However, while a capable leader by any account, Archer was not beloved by his people and frequently had to put down various revolts under his reign.

    Protection Of The Faith (C)- A Skill possessed by those who sacrificed themselves for a religious view. Despite the name, it is not a blessing from a higher existence but an absoluteness of body and soul that is born from faith. But at higher levels, it may cause abnormalities in the personality. Archer was a devout Zoroastrian who attributed his conquests to divine mandate from Ahura Mazda.

    Undying Grudge (B)- A unique Skill deriving from Archer's vow to never forget his grudge against Athens. When facing an opponent who has defeated him in the past, Archer obtains a Rank-Up in all parameters. This effect can theoretically stack, though it's doubtful Archer can manage the feat of escaping combat at a loss against a superior opponent more then once.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Déspota, Mémneo Tôn Athēnaíōn
    - Oh Zeus, Grant Me Vengeance (B++, Anti-Army): After hearing that his stronghold of Sardis had been captured and razed by the Athenians, Archer was overcome with fury. He asked for his bow, nocked an arrow upon the string and fired it upwards towards heaven, and as it shot into the air he said "Zeus, grant me to take vengeance upon the Athenians!". To insure he never forgot his grudge he ordered a certain servant to repeat, three times before dinner every day the phrase Déspota, Mémneo Tôn Athēnaíōn, meaning "Master, remember the Athenians" in ancient Greek.

    Crystallizing that event, Archer may fire an arrow from his bow heavenwards and recite the words above to invoke this Noble Phantasm. Upon doing so, the sky suddenly begins to darken as thick, churning black clouds gather over the battlefield in an ominous portent. Moments later come a number of powerful golden lightning bolts that scour the battlegrounds in a wide area. Each of these bolts qualifies as a rank B Noble Phantasm comparable to one of Medea's beams in destructive power.

    The exact number of these bolts varies depending on the damage inflicted upon Archer and his allies preceding his invocation of this Noble Phantasm. If he calls upon it at the very beginning of battle only a few lightning bolts will be spawned, whereas they will number in the hundreds if he's suffered great losses prior to deploying it. A large number of these bolts is comparable to a bombing raid, easily capable of turning an expansive battlefield into a charred, smoldering wasteland.

    The prayer of vengeance that was never fulfilled in life. As a Heroic Spirit, Archer can enact with his own hands that divine power he only prayed for in history.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Found this guy while looking up Greek sayings for my Theseus sheet (tried to find something like a Greek version of 'Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth' to name his third NP after). I came up with the NP first and worked backwards to concoct the rest of it off that premise. Darius III has already been done in Grand Order, so it was interesting to do a sheet for someone in the same lineage. I did my best to make him a different flavor of 'proud king' then somebody like Gil or Iskandar. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms!

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