Disclaimer: I hold no responsibility for what happens to you if you read this. Unless it's a good thing, then I get all the credit. Okay YOLF can have a little for inspiring me a bit.
Index:
First Set [this post]
Second Set
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Log date: February 15th, 1994
I think this might just be one big hallucination before I fade away forever, one final taunt by a cold and desolate world as it dances on my grave. But in the event that this isn't the case, and I really am here writing this down and committing it to memory in this book that only I can open, my name is Manaka Sayjou and I think I've just gone back ten years into the past. I have checked every calendar, every newspaper, and even asked father what year it was. That father was around to answer questions like that really made the question a formality.
The last thing I remember was being held by someone, and a bright light breaking the cavern where the Great Grail was housed, searing my flesh and bone away and.
I don't know who the someone was for certain, but I think it might have been Saber! I mean, who else would it be? Everyone else was out to get me then, so of course it was him. I think I'm happy that I died that way again; it really makes sense that he should be the only one to do something like that to me. It's a very intimate thing, being killed by someone.
Even so, I would rather not have him do that again this time. Now I can do things differently, and maybe Saber won't feel so selflessly compelled to protect the teeming hordes of unworthy filth that demand his assistance. I'm going to need to be very careful that nobody figures out that I know so much already, and be much sneakier when I get around to the fun parts. He won't have to see anything, so by the time Saber would be worried it'll all be over! I know he'll thank me for this. When I'm done with the people of this town my Saber will never have problems again!
Then, maybe, we can be happy.
Log date: February 15th, 1994
I have woken up on the exact same morning as the first time, after slitting my own throat just to make sure that I had really gone back again.
That was the fifth time I died, and the third time I found myself waking up in bed today. This is either a very cruel dream, or I really am just that powerful! I can turn back time!
Okay, I just tried to time travel and it didn't really go so well. I may have blown up the shed with the summoning circle in it, but at least the piece I need to summon Saber is intact! So okay, my powers do not include time travel. This does not help me plot the death ofthat bitchmy sister and her friends.
It also doesn't help me with finding happiness with Saber, even with foreknowledge. I'm beginning to think, and I know this sounds crazy, that destroying the world might be counterproductive to romantic success! Maybe I just haven't found the right combination to get this to work? In any case, since this time traveling resurrection... thing seems like a long term event, I'm going to start experimenting until I find our happiness!
Wish me luck, Saber! You'll be with me again soon.
Log date: February 15th, 1994
Note to self: Saber does not find blood splatters attractive, remember to clean clothes with magic
Log date: February 15th, 1994
Okay, so there appears to be no combination of murder, honesty, and dishonesty that will make Saber happy with the situation. He's just so pure, it's adorable! And frustrating. Frustratingly adorable! As pleased as I am to discover the true heights of his perfection like this, I am unfortunately left with a dilemma.
How am I going to solve our problems if I can't kill them?
I just got back from the bathroom, and I have a plan. If I die without being thrown into the grail, that resets the cycle immediately. Therefore if I ask Saber a question and get his opinion on something, and for some reason this provokes him into killing me with his long, hard bladeand he doesn't like that I asked it, I can just try again and he won't remember a thing!
There is no way this can go wrong.
Log date: February 15th, 1994
The cycle has reset nineteen times since I last put my thoughts to paper. So far, huge success! My relationship with Saber has taken on a full 1900% greater amount of penetration, overall, which my research has determined was considered a consummated relationship in his time! The only flaw in this method that I can see is that the bride typically dies from massive organ failure or blood loss at some point during the process, and he doesn't seem to remember in any case.
Note to self: find less violent ways to satisfy the definition of 'consummation'
More importantly, I have received answers to over six dozen vitally important questions related to maintaining the health of our relationship. I am going to commit the top ten answers to paper just to get them clear in my head.
1) Saber does not approve of human sacrifice.
2) No, not even if they had it coming
3) Especially little girls. I think this might be because it reminds him of what I would look like in pain!
4) My little sister apparently doesn't have her horrible death coming to her, which I suppose I can permit due to her complete lack of attractive qualities. I reserve the right to butcher her in the event that she finds some way toact like a trollopinterfere anyway
5) Cooking really is the key to a man's heart. Note: I should probably set a cycle aside to improving my technique there
6) Human blood is not a seasoning that Saber approves of. Going to stick to more traditional ingredients from now on, which I suppose fits his character. Silly me for not thinking of that!
7) Telling him about the true purpose of the Grail makes it impossible to convince him to keep it around so he can stay
8) Not telling him about the true purpose of the Grail and getting him to make his wish also results in Saber disappearing, so that isn't good either
9) No, he does not like the voices in my head; I think he might be as jealous about my attention as I am about his! Oh, happy day
10) Saber likes long legs and modest chests
I'm going to start with the simplest thing and figure out some transformation magic; it should be pretty simple for me, though I might end up dying from it a few times. Tis the sacrifice I make for my beloved prince, to see to his true and final happiness with me.
Log date: February 15th, 1994
Note to self: building new body structure off existing bodies ends badly. Spine sticking out of back not pretty at all
Log date: February 15th, 1994
I think I need a break from this. I haven't made a breakthrough on the transformation thing in over thirty cycles, and I'm really tired of dying so frequently. I've hidden the catalyst for Saber somewhere, and have convinced father through a standard application of mind magic to allow me to withdraw from the 4th Holy Grail War. I'm going to try again when I'm twenty three; maybe I'll have more luck with getting through to Saber when I have the allure of a mature young woman instead?
Log date: February 15th, 1994
My limit for time without Saber appears to be six months. Darn. I thought I had better self control.