Considering the types of people who look at Fate, they know their audience, who appreciate dynamic fight scenes, so of course those would be enhanced, further, its their one chance to see that animated, of course they want to embellish and make it feel like servant engagements are larger than life.
As for the last part. Even as a Sakura fan, I wouldn't be mad that he cried harder for Ilya, because that wouldn't be an insult to Sakura.
One, he didn't want to wake Sakura up, still thinks she is sleeping (since they didn't do the follow up scene where they talked after the knife scene, "Beautiful Aria"), Shirou just walks sullenly off. So that is a matter of time constraints amd how they changed the scene to fit them.
But even if it wasn't, there is a difference here, since yes, he is distraught at the prospect of killing her finally hitting him, but doesn't go through with it, so there would be relief in there as well. With Ilya, she is gone, and all that regret about Kiritsugu, wanting her to be happy, wanting her to live with him, would pile up faster as the emotions condense. Like how you would cry at finding out a loved one is cured of a normally fatal disease, but there is relief that they would stay with you, compared to lowering their body into the earth or being at a wake before they close the casket and effectively "seeing them off for the last time" tears. Usually the later is stronger for that finality.