@OP
The largest problem I have with this story is that it presents itself as an interesting Tsukihime/Fate story. It's in the title.
If you are going to write Nasuverse fanfiction that:
> Distorts every mechanic
> Uses none of the characters properly
> And then tries to be cheeky with a script format
Then Ihate you foreveram slightly miffed because I thought I'd be seeing the first Tsukihime fanfic on this site since Curtis dropped Fragile Thing.
Also Franco stop meming.