Just posting that the thread's comments were amusing to read.
Just posting that the thread's comments were amusing to read.
He has written more in 3 years than lantzblades in 10. Lantz may feel jelly.
Don't raise his expectations of getting adapted too much. That would be cruel.
[QUOTE=Bridgeburner90;1661606]I voted yes because this excerpt made me laugh like never before in fanfiction.
... I don't even know what to say, but my prevailing mood is "disgusted".Akiha: I’m just making sure that Shiki comes back in one piece, that’s all.Ciel: Oh, never mind. Well, Utan, show us where these new allies are at.
Utan: Ok, but give me some ice water.
Ciel: Why?
Utan: It’s Akiha. I need something to cool off before I show you.
Akiha: Hmm, I wonder why? It seems like I’m having an effect on you.
Utan: Yes, you are. Summers here are very hot - - - having you around makes it even hotter.
Akiha: (glares at Utan.) What was that? Was that sarcasm coming from you?
Utan: (glares at Akiha.) Yeah, got a problem?
Akiha and Utan glare at each other, the room temperature was at 85 degrees.[/QUOTE]
magic
pure
magic
Well, I didn't read your story but based on what was quoted my advice is: Dialogue between humans should sound like Dialogue between humans.
You win this round.Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90
Er, humanoid?
- - - Updated - - -
Not a legal excuse for not having an organic, relatable conversation.
Neither that MC.
I was talking about the original Mickey Mouse character, Oswald. Not the person who killed JFK.
I'm not going to lie it seems like you wanted to do a TM Script just because it was popular and well as such you just looked stuff up on the wiki. Here is what I recommend doing, first of all improve your writing style and then after that READ THE SOURCE MATERIAL don't look it up on Tv Tropes or Wiki but read it. Also make sure your dialogue sounds more natural otherwise this is doomed to fail. Oh who am I kidding its doomed from the start my piece of advice would be to abandon this completely
Only Oswald people care about is JFK one.
"Onii-sama, you said you'd rather take a bath first before you take me. That is nonsense. I see no reason why we cannot make the bath steamy by ourselves."
...
..
.
"Akiha's pussy, it's like sticking my shaft into a Hot Pocket - irresistible."
So indecent~~!
Spoiler:
Get him as a consultant for Tsukihime Remake.
There's a mickey mouse oswald?
He killed Disney's JFK.
What he Mickey mouse in disguise?
Don't worry, there's always remake.
Oh my god....
I'm so cringing right now after reading all of it. Auuuh.
"......"
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How many threads are you going to make?
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