The Way of Serpents

[You]

Seeing that the Dare Thread is practically dead for months, I humbly apologize if this is not the right thread to post my daring ideas. But please allow me to say this.

Make a Fate fic/snip starring Shirou Emiya and co's usual school life (either friendship or romance, it's up to you).

However!

You should include this Hiroyama OC girl as one of the heroines of Homurahara High:



Personal additions of mine (meaning you can either use this or just ignore) is that she's headcanonically voiced by either Nao Toyama (popularly known as TWGOK's Kanon seiyuu) OR Saori Hayami (Sekirei's Musubi, OreImo's Ayase and SnO's Ikaros plus many other. She also voiced /Extra CCC's Alter-Ego S aka Meltlilith).

Thinking about how I could actually do this interestingly. Wrote a chapter, procrastinated for a couple of months, wrote a second chapter, decided to actually start posting.

Thanks for everyone and anyone who beta'd.

Questions, comments, feedback, etc appreciated.

Table of Contents:

1/
2/
3/
4/
5/
6/
7/

SSSSSS

1/

The day I learned of the might of the PTA was also the day I realized I did not understand what even one of those three little letters stood for. Needless to say, something as insignificant as “the real name of such an organization,” didn’t mean much when little ol’ me walked into their meeting room that late afternoon.

Picturesque as it was – a setting sun drowning my former homeroom in the same stream of orange-red as my bow – I had to admit that watching the various housewives of the Miyama shopping district rise from seats made for high schools students was jarring, to say the least.

“Umm-“

I was unsure what to say or do but I was sure they were getting out of their seats for me. Therefore, I could only weakly bow as they walked past me towards the door.

“Oh…”

Forcing my unwelcome, lingering back straight once more, I could only blush. How embarrassing. For what, I was not sure but then the dull din of shoes on the floor was finally softening: “Really? That as well, Mr. Matou? Amazing, you’re much more reliable than that lazy husband of mine. You must come over for afternoon tea this weekend, I can bake some of that Shoofly pie you’re so fond of.”

“What? That’s unfair Saegusa, Mr. Matou promised to help me pick out the flowers we’re going to sell in our next fundraiser that day. I heard from Inui that the new employee is quite the hell-raiser. Mr. Matou is going to make sure nothing bad happens, right?”

The sound of a fawning and gossiping clique of housewives became the new rhythm of the room and in the middle of them all, “Now, now, Ms. Gatou, I already told you didn’t I? I would love to go with you; after all, I heard there is a new shipment of giboshi and I wouldn’t want you to get hurt. But alas, my cute granddaughter is competing in the regional archery competition. What sort of grandfather would I be if I didn’t go out and support her?”

It was a diminutive, wrinkled old man. I was not sure whether it was the lighting or housewives’ squeals; however, his sharp eyes and vigorous presence overwhelmed me. The pressure was hard to describe, or perhaps, it would have been better to describe it as the aphrodisiac known as dignity.

“Excuse me, Mr. Matou?” My voice piqued up as I got closer.

Hearing my unfamiliar voice, each housewife audibly snapped her neck at my direction as if sensing a fellow predator who needed to be put down.

“Aren’t you a student? What are you doing at a PT-“

“Ms. Kirishima, doesn’t the PTA exist to help the students?” He immediately stopped her in her tracks. “Either way, I called her out. Please excuse me ladies, but there’s something I need to discuss with her.”

No one moved – except for Ms. Kirishima who bowed her head in embarrassment. But a few moments later, the housewives filed out of the room muttering things like “Mr. Matou is truly too kind,” or “I’m so glad he’s the head of the PTA.” The last one out was Ms. Kirishima but before she was out of earshot, as if it was an aside, “Ms. Kirishima, you’re still heading the bake sale next week. Remember, the PTA and I are counting on you,” he said something as incredulous as that.

Ms. Kirishima immediately straightened her back and – with a giant smile plastered on her face – brightly exclaimed, “Of course Mr. Matou! Don’t worry I won’t disappoint you or the PTA. Maybe after the sale we can go see that movie we were talking about?”

Mr. Matou just smiled while closing his eyes and nodded.

“Yes,” he said, “I would like that very much.”

When everything was once again right with the world because Mr. Matou said it was, I could only stand, shocked, as the old man with a classroom of housewives eating out of his hand finally turned his attention to me.

“So then, now that’s finished, how are you doing Miss Moriyama?”

I gulped. “I’m fine Mr. Matou. You’re the archery club’s captain’s grandfather aren’t you?”

“Sakura?” He opened one eye. “You’re friends with my granddaughter?”

While frowning a little, I tilted my head and put a finger under my lips: “I wouldn’t exactly call us good friends. But we do say hello to each other. If this is about her I don’t think I’m the best person you should talk to. Maybe Mitsuzuri would be better?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not about Sakura, but I would appreciate it if you kept taking care of her.”

I wrinkled my brow to that. “Then is it about your grandson? He’s more infamous in the school, but I’m-“

“No, no, no-” he interrupted, “It has nothing to do with my grandchildren. Rather I thought you could help me.”

“Help? You? A student? Someone like me? What could I possibly do for the PTA?”

At that he opened his other eye, now taking me full into his view, “You see Miss Moriyama, there has been talk that you have a certain reputation.”

I smiled widely, “What on earth are you talking about Mr. Matou?”

He coughed at that. “I am sure you are well aware about what happened today. The PTA is conducting its own investigation, hoping to find out how something like that could happen.”

Narrowing my eyes I nodded at that. Unless you skipped school, there was no way you didn’t know what happened. Even if you had skipped, you would have undoubtedly heard from your friends. It was that severe of an incident.

“But why is the PTA investigating something like that? Shouldn’t it be the business of the student council or the discipline committee, not to say anything about the faculty.”

Mr. Matou smiled that, “You see Miss Moriyama, the PTA is the faculty.” I had no idea what he meant, but it didn’t matter as he continued anyway. “While it was clearly a prank there are some parents who feel something like that was deeply disturbing for the students. Furthermore, that program has already received criticism from various groups in the community and beyond; therefore, the PTA feels that it is necessary to find out who did it and why.”

I understood the words coming out his mouth; it was true that the program was one of the most hotly debated ones in the school. Even if it had nothing to do with me – a regular student – I had heard that teachers, student council, and even the school board at least addressed it once during the more important meetings. So then with an incident like that…

“But why me?” I asked, but I already knew the answer to that.

“Miss Moriyama,” he said, looking me in the eye, “Have you ever heard the proverb ‘snakes follow the way of serpents?’”

What? I ended up tilting my head once more, “Y-You mean you don’t think that it was me?”

Now it was Mr. Matou’s turn to look confused, “What do you mean, Miss Moriyama? There was no way that it could have been you.”

Finally someone who understood! I shook my head vigorously, “That’s what I keep telling everyone! But no one believes me. Why don’t they believe me? But Mr. Matou, if you’re so capable, why don’t you find the culprit yourself?”

“It’s a matter of affinity you see. I am like a slug; I’m quite slow on my feet and I dry up when I’m in the sun for too long. While it is true that we are looking for a snake, this is a case that involves frogs; therefore, I definitely would not be a good fit. However, like I said before, the culprit is most definitely a snake. So then-“

“To find a snake, use a snake.” I finished his sentence for him with distaste in the last syllable. That was when I realized he was talking about me. Blood started to rush to my head and was the entire room swirling around? “That’s impossible. I-I can’t catch someone like that, I have no experience. I don’t even know where the start. Also…Also-”

Mr. Matou seemed amused at the display, “Miss Moriyama, I have complete faith in you. After all, you’re definitely cut from the same cloth– so the very instant you meet, you will recognize that person.”

Complete faith. Regardless of the insult, those two words echoed through my head for a good minute. No one’s ever said that to me before, not even my little sister. I’m clumsy and space-out a lot. I say things that I don’t mean and things that I mean but shouldn’t say. Basically, I’m the worst candidate from something as important as this. Even so, to be told someone has complete faith in you…

“Of course Miss Moriyama, we don’t expect you to do this for free. Do you perhaps have someone who you like?”

Those words hit me like a vaguely remembered black bullet coming out from the barrel known as someone’s finger.

“No! Definitely Not!”

Face red, possibly with steam gushing from my ears, I gave the head of the PTA for Homurahara, Matou Zouken, such a reply.

[kinlyki]

What the heck is the PTA and why is Zouken in it?

[meevanhelot]

Parent Teacher Association

[kinlyki]

Holy shit, thought you were James D Fawkes for a moment there.

[Nephirin]

Starting off with Zouken's PTA shenanigans. Amazing.

[Rafflesiac]

Nanami on the case?

PTA Overlord Zouken?

Sign me up!

[You]

Holy shit, thought you were James D Fawkes for a moment there.

He has a custom drawn one. You gotta be James to have one of those.

[kinlyki]

Before he used the custom drawn one, he used the one of Proto!Saber.

[Renko]

What the heck is the PTA?

What.

[JetKinen]

PTA's aren't a thing in some countries, so its to be expected.

Anyway Zouken as the PTA head is always great.

[kinlyki]

Not really, in some countries, we call the PTA by our native language. Our acronym is also following our native language. So I didn't know what that particular acronym stood for.

[mAc Chaos]

I wasn't sure what to expect reading this but by the end of it I wanted more. I wasn't expecting Zouken to be so popular either.

[You]

I wasn't expecting Zouken to be so popular either.

Who else would Shinji get his mojo from? Surely not Kariya.

[YeOfLittleFaith]

Head of PTA Zouken is amazing.

Also actually making a character of Moriyama Nanami? And a sly one, as Luvia and Rin tend to accuse her of being. My interest is picked.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

I had fun beta-ing this, and I hope to see more of it soon enough.

[You]

I think I'm going to do releases every fortnight.

[Leo Novum]

I am sorry but I am confused. I know that something has happened and that Moriyama is involved in it somehow and that Zouken is being a charming can of worms but other than that, I have no idea of what happened. What is Moriyama accused of, by the PTA?

Other than that though, I liked this. A lot. The writing style is particularly appealing and Zouken was as well.

[You]

I am sorry but I am confused. I know that something has happened and that Moriyama is involved in it somehow and that Zouken is being a charming can of worms but other than that, I have no idea of what happened. What is Moriyama accused of, by the PTA?

Yes.

[Leo Novum]

Ah, so it's a mystery! Excellent excellent.

[You]

2.

An almost shrill ringing resounded through the neighborhood as I opened the old gate to the Moriyama house, but the only complaint was the usual hissing from a few strays. Normally, I would shirk back when faced with their puffed-up fur and unsheathed claws. Maybe if there was a mongoose among them, I would feel more comfortable about being aggressive. At least, that was what I kept telling myself. Either way, even if I should have been proud that I did not shirk back, honestly, it was because of the heavy thoughts whirling around my mind and an even emotionally heavy pair of water-park tickets in my hand. So instead of shrinking back, all I did was sigh – lamenting the situation I found myself in.

“How could you let yourself be bullied into something like that?” with full cheeks, sulking, I could only scold myself in the gentlest way possible while hooking the back of my shoes off and then placing them onto the rack without even noticing I was indoors.

But I wasn’t bullied into it. Without a doubt, I had taken the tickets to Waku Waku Splash Land with clear intent to use them. I couldn’t lie to myself saying that I didn’t want them.

“I don’t hate the idea. I really don’t hate the idea, but- Something like that, can someone like me-”

“Is someone home?” came a voice from the living room.

Oh, I was so spaced-out that I forgot to say I was back home.

“I was wondering when you would come back. Aren’t you late?”

“I had business at school,” I said, walking into the living room and noticing the television showing a screen with two girls zooming around mid-air. A popular television cartoon series at the time, Magical Bushido Musashi even had a following at my school. “But Nanaki, won’t mum get angry that you’ve ordered another Blu-ray?”

Nanaki looked at me as if just remembering something painful. In fact, the potato chip she was going to put into her mouth suddenly dropped onto the sofa. Then, “Well, you’re not going to tell, are you?” she said as she picked up the potato chip and popped it right back into her mouth.

Moriyama Nanaki, my little sister. That absent-minded, head in the clouds face has fooled many a person. In fact, from the time we were children, adults kept on saying how much alike we were. That is untrue, for under that absent-minded face moves a mind that far out-classes my own. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the little sister; maybe that’s why I try my best to act like an elder sister in front of her.

“Nanaki, you shouldn’t have snacks so close to dinner.”

She looked at me but you couldn’t tell that she did. Members of our family give off the impression of always having our eyes closed. She then turned back and turned off the television.

“So, what happened at school today?” she turned her full attention to me.

“Eh- Exactly what I said, I just had some business I had to take care of. W-What about you, Nanaki?” I tried to change the subject.

To that, she crossed her arms and sighed, falling back deeper into the confines of the couch.

“We had a transfer student come into our class today, a real high-class rich girl type.”

A lady, huh. We had a few of those types in our school as well, but I never thought there would someone like that in an elementary school. However, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense that there would be rich people in all levels of the school system. Looking at my sister’s expression though-

“You don’t like her?”

“Not at all! She acts like she’s better than all of us and makes fun of Tatsuko. Only I’m allowed to make fun of Tatsuko,” she grumbled.

I nodded at her commentary. It would seem like my sister was at a delicate stage in life. Having someone come in her life out of blue and changing dynamics and her role in the world must have been stressful. That name sounded familiar though.

“Tatsuko. Haven’t you mentioned her before?”

Nanaki nodded, “The Gakumazawa family has a dojo in Fuyuki. I went there to study with her a while back.” Which was a horrible waste of time that I will never do again, she quietly added.

“That’s right,” I said, clapping my hands together. “That was the week you said you wanted to become a martial artist. You were practicing in the backyard.” I could still remember watching Nanaki in that gi from outside the window of my bedroom. I had been ill that week.

“But going back to that girl, Mimi adores her. She said something like ‘she’s a real-life princess’ and stuff like that. But you know what? Princesses should stay in their castles!” Nanaki said, her fist in the air with a determination that ran contradictorily to her name. “What about you Nanami? Since I told you about mine, you have to tell me yours.”

I blushed, “But it’s embarrassing though.”

“All the better then, dear sister,” she said while licking her lips sardonically. It would seem my sister had a sadistic streak. “Was it a boy? Could it be my sister is climbing the stairs to womanhood?”

“It’s nothing like that!”

Jeez, why am I so flustered at that? Why am I feeling slightly dizzy with a slight fluttering, not in my chest, but the pit of my stomach at that mention? But that heat, that pounding, must relent to dignity, as I put my fist to my mouth and cough. It’s a sophisticated gesture any high-class lady would appreciate.

“There was an incident at school today. In the home economics room, next to the science lab, someone found dead frogs.”

“Dead frogs?” Nanaki blinked a few times, allowing my words to register before, “Isn’t that normal? They were just dissected and someone accidentally carried them into the home economics room and forgot about them.”

“But Nanaki, wouldn’t someone just dispose of the dead frogs. There are protocols for that. Also, it didn’t look like they were dissected; rather, it looked like someone cut them up.”

She looked at me strangely, “When something is dissected, isn’t that the same as cutting it up?”

I placed a finger on my cheek, trying to think of way to explain this, “A dissection is cutting for a scientific purpose, making incisions in certain ways.” I spoke from experience. Every student in our school dissects a frog at one point of their education. Even if it’s slimy, disgusting, and the most worthless animal in the world, it can serve some purpose for our education. Please Mr. Frog, be glad you have some use in this world. “This type of cutting… it seemed as if someone was enjoying it, or rather they cut it up in ways that weren’t necessary if they were going to learn about it.”

“Nanami,” her face darkened as she looked at me, completely serious.

I had no option but to say yes.

“Are you sure you aren’t the culprit?” she said, probably in the most serious voice I’ve ever heard from her.

“What? Why me? Why does everyone at school think it’s me, and now even my own little sister thinks it’s me!?”

“Well you know,” she trailed off, and when she had found the right words, “you’re not exactly the biggest fan of frogs.”

“Just because I think they’re the most disgusting creature on this Earth that shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and there’s no place in nature for something as repulsive as a frog, doesn’t mean I’m the one who did this. There are plenty of other people who hate frogs.”

My fear of frogs was not something that I was born with; it was actually something that came about recently. During our compulsory dissection, it seemed like someone tripped and threw a bag at me. Getting hit by the bag hurt; however, what was worse was that the bag was open, and the contents spilled on me. I don’t remember much, but I will never forget the slimy, limp, coldness crawling all over my uniform and my body. Their rubbery bodies rubbing me – who couldn’t move. It was a terrifying experience that I’m forced to relive over and over every time I see a live frog. Therefore, it is of my opinion that all frogs should be killed.

“How many of those people are called ‘Snake?’”

“That’s just because of the last character in my name!”

I don’t know much about the aftermath of the incident. The clean-up, apparently, was gigantic, considering they had to collect the frogs that had escaped. However, since it was an accident, no one was blamed. Personally, I don’t have any lingering contempt for the one who tripped. It wasn’t her fault that the frogs had made the floor slippery. In a way, she’s a victim of frogs as well.

“You know it’s okay to tell me the truth. I am your sister, after all.”

“Nanaki!”

“Okay, okay. Geez,” she returned to eating her chips.

Why did she choose that of all times to talk like she was older sister? Nanaki was always like this; always looking after me even if I was older. It just… it just made little ol’ me feel just a tad bit inept you know?

“I’m going to catch who did it.” I mumbled

“What did you say, Nanami?”

“I said I was going to catch who did it! That’s why I was late today,” I accidentally let loose. The moment the exclamation came out of my mouth, I noticed that I was not only flushed but my hands were curled into fists.

The silence of a potato chip falling onto the couch filled the room once more, and after that was pure, unadulterated laughter.

My own sister was laughing at me.

Saying anymore would just make the situation worse, so I just climbed the stairs away from my laughing sister into my room where I just flopped onto the bed.

“Definitely, I’m definitely going to catch the culprit.”

That was right. Mr. Matou believed in me. This was something I could not, no, it was something that only I could do. That’s why Mr. Matou asked for me in particular.

“It’s not just that though…” I weakly said out loud before squishing my head into my pillow.

When I had entered the room I had placed my schoolbag on my desk. Next to the schoolbag, as if mocking me, were the two tickets to Waku Waku Splash Land.

“Do you perhaps have someone who you like?” Mr. Matou had asked me.

Of course, having nothing like that, I replied that I didn’t.

“Well, that’s a shame. The PTA has these leftover tickets from a raffle. I’m giving them to you as an advance, also to show that I believe that you will catch the culprit,” he said, offering them to me.

I froze. I remember freezing that moment. I didn’t want to take them. There was no way that I could take such a job. But when he asked me if I had someone I liked – even if I didn’t have anyone I liked – his face popped in my head.

His face. His face. His face. His face. Geez, I didn’t even like him though! All he did was help me once, so why would his face pop up at a time like that?!

And as if a puppet on some invisible strings, I took the tickets and left – sealing my fate.

“I’m really useless aren’t I…”I sighed.

Wallowing in self-pity in the dimness of my room, I heard the front door open. It must have been my mother arriving home to start dinner. After a few moments of silence, I could hear splinters of scolding. It seemed Nanaki was still eating potato chips.

I had let myself laugh for a moment at her just desserts. Feeling cheered up slightly, “Alright Nanami, you’re going to catch that person.”

Filled with a warm determination, something that glowed rather than burned, something that reassured rather than moved, I pulled myself off the bed and got ready. No, I didn’t go down to help with dinner; instead, I pulled out a pen and some paper and started to make a chart.